The Temporary Cover Up

(Last updated: August 2, 2023)
A Temporary Cover Up
by DR Wolfe

{From “The Dirty Little Secret About Transparensee” Series}

(Includes strong language and some descriptions of sex)

With an excited look around, the grey haired short man ran threw the lobby, past the receptionist and into Barry Louden’s office.

Slamming the door behind him, he shouted, “Barry, I think I’ve got it! I think I have the answer we’ve been looking for. Who are you talking to? Get off the phone you pedo, I need to talk to you.”

“I got to go, the mad doctor’s back,” Louden said into the phone. “Yeah don’t worry about that, I’ll call you back later honey.”

Then he hung up the phone and glared at the little man. “Have a seat doctor,” he said as he pointed to a large brown leather chair across from his desk.

“Was that your wife?”

“No, of course not. I wasn’t screaming, was I? It’s the babysitter from down the street I told you about.”

“Good thing they got rid of those pesky age-of-consent laws, huh.”

The lawyer adjusted the extremely expensive watch on his wrist and shyly smiled, “Yes, well…What can I do for you doctor?”

“Sorry about interrupting your monkey business, sbut this is important. It’s about making money, and that’s more important than what ever you’re talking about.”

“You’re saying romancing my babysitter isn’t important Doc?” He smiled at the bony little man, who liked to keep a toothpick in his mouth.

“Never mind all of that, Let me ask you this important question, And that is, what’s the biggest problem for most single young guys today? Can you tell me?” He impatiently asked, sliding into the expensive leather chair.

The doctor’s wire frame glasses and military haircut made him look like a friendly country doctor from Nebraska. What a surprise! As soon as he opened his mouth his crude Brooklyn upbringing and this sense of superiority and perversion was obvious,and most people found him disgusting, of course other than Jews.

“Okay I’ll humor you Doc. I suppose, Getting paid or getting laid? But if you got the money, I guess getting laid wouldn’t be as big of a problem. You tell me Doc, which is it?”

“Well even though I prefer little boys, that’s a good question too ponder, Barry. But I’m talking about the actual sex act. You know, for straight guys, vaginal intercourse. I mean do you know what bothers straight men more than anything else? Can you guess?”

“I suppose as a straight guy and the company’s top lawyer, I should ask why you’re asking this curious question. Before I answer, a little background information would be helpful, in case there’s a liability problem or conflict of interest.” He sat forward and gave his nasty little friend a stern look.

“No, no, Barry’s that’s not why I’m asking, it’s not about me or the boys club.” The well-dressed doctor rubbed his bony chin and chuckled. “It’s about the healthy American male. What is his biggest problem with having vaginal sex, assuming we know he is definitely going to get laid?”

“I have no idea. I haven’t been close to being a young American male for over a decade. I suppose cleanliness and comfort would be the most important things to me, when it comes to having sex.”

“Yes, yes, I would say this is true. But what most men, and especially young men hate more than anything is putting on a condom. They do it, but they would prefer not to do it, if they had a choice. And a lot of women feel this same way..”

“Okay Doc, I see the problem. So you come up with a better way?”

“Well, yes, yes. You see we know from our surveys that men hate the way the condom doesn’t allow them to feel if it’s too tight. And if the condom is too big, then they worry about it falling off. You see, for a man the size is always different each time. Either way having to wear a condem means the fun is gone. So why in the world do men ever wear one?”

“Well Doc, they can avoid unwanted pregnancy and decease. Am I missing something here?”

“You know your pretty smart for a lawyer. Maybe you should have been a mad scientist like me?”

“I suppose I wasn’t perverted enough to join the science club at Cornell.”

Both men chuckled, and the doctor straightened his tie and continued. “Would if we could provide these things, and still remove the condom.?”

“Like a pill for men?” The gray haired lawyer leaned forward and asked. “But I thought there was some serious health problems with men using oral prophylactics for birth control?”

“No, no, nothing like that. Pills for men just don’t work. They work for women because we are temporarily shutting down the birth process . It’s like starving or exercising too much, the woman becomes infertile. When women stop taking the pill, or start eating, or stop exercising so much, for most women it starts right back up.”

“But with men, it’s not so simple because the male fertility system wasn’t meant to ever be shut down. Getting the male reproductive system to reboot doesn’t usually work, and that’s means major liability for the company, Mr. Lawyer. And of course, it doesn’t address the STD’s.”

“Okay Doc, you got me. So what’s your big discovery?” Louden sat back and glanced over at a painting of the Idaho mountains with a winding stream running through the woods into Arrowhead Lake. The sparkling water was so clear and blue that it almost made it seem like you could see through the bottom half of the painting.

To the left of that was his J.D. from Harvard. And farther to the left was his B.A. from Cornell. Top of his class.

He really hoped he could take his grand sons fishing this weekend for a couple days. But getting his daughter to agree to anything was almost impossible, even for a crafty corporate lawyer like him. He promised her he would never drink around the boys again. And she didn’t know about his cocaine habit or the babysitter, so what was her problem?

“She’s a conniving bitch, just like her mother,” he thought. “Always being right. And he’s supposed to be the lawyer in the family.”

“Well, it’s a condom that dissolves. Not right away, it takes about forty-five seconds before it start working. But here’s the really great part, you might say where the rubber meets the road. You see, as it dissolves it releases both a spermicide as well as a lubricant and a mild sent, if that’s what you want. Although we don’t recommend eating it or putting it in your mouth.”

“Like I said earlier, women can already use spermicide, what about STD’s Doc?”

“Here’s the really great part, as far as the investors go . It also contains a secret formula that’s kills any known virus or any of the bad bacteria. We know, there’s good bacteria in the vagina that we don’t want to harm because it promotes the immune system, especially when ingested, if you like that stuff.” He turned his head and grimmest , pretending to throw up.”

Both men laughed.

The doctor continued, ” But what is most important you see, it is completely 100% safe to the genitals and reproductive systems of both men and women who use it. In other words, using dozens of clinical trials we can confidently say there’s no negative counterresponse or counter reaction from the drugs or chemicals in the product when used as recommended.”

“So you’re telling me a man puts on a condom, and a minute or two later it’s completely gone?”

“Yes, yes, isn’t that great! The moisture from the vagina and the pre-ejaculation semen cause the synthetic material to dissolve. It’s bi-degratable you might say. The only part left is the little ring at the top to hold it in place just long enough for the penis to be completely inserted into the vagina.”

“But why not just sell a tube of this formula Doc? the man or woman could squirt a little in before having intercourse, like it was a lubricant or spermicide?”

“That’s a really gross idea Mr. Lawyer, squirting a tube of something sticky into the vagina before having sex,” he scrunched up his face. “Wouldn’t that wreck the mood for you straight people, unless I suppose money was involved. Then it probably wouldn’t matter.”

He nervously touched the Star of David pinned to his lapel and continued, “No, no, You see putting on the magical condom will be romantic and fun. And it puts the responsibility on the man, where it should be. and I don’t think women will mind, knowing they have a partner who cares about them.”

“Well Dr. Simon, sounds like a straight guy hating homosexual, wanting to blame all men. I think we know it’s a massive load of crap Doctor, but I suppose it will probably work for marketing purposes. But I suppose women won’t have to worry about getting pregnant when that little rubber tip pops.”

“And in defense of men, they don’t have to worry about their little girlfriend poking a tiny hole while they’re not looking. You see, it will be safe and fun for both partners. And it will feel natural, because of course it feels all natural.”

“Marketing will love that!” The lawyer added.

The doctor got up and brushed off his chair and remarked ,”I have to run. I’m meeting with the R&D people, But I thought you should probably know, since your the general council person and I need more of those dirty little NDA’s for everyone, including R&D and Marketing. I love talking to those Marketing people. They’re such deviants.”

The doctor ran half way to the door, before turning around and quickly coming back to the desk. “I’m so sorry, I almost forgot to say thank you and goodbye. I’ll get out of here so you can call your honey pot back.” He rolled his hand around and around twice in a small circle, as if to explain what he was trying to say.

“Thanks Doc. This is definitely interesting. I’ll get those NDA’s together and shoot them over to R&D right away. You know I always make fun of your crazy ideas, like Panties for Trannies.”

And the doctor added, in a exaggerated feminine voice, “For those woomen who need a little extra bulge up front.” Both men chuckled.

“But seriously, I think you got something this time. Good job Doc.” He reached across the desk and firmly shook the diminutive man’s hand and gave him a wink.

“Thank you very much Barry. Now I’m off.” And he quickly turned around and ran out. It reminded Barry of a couple weeks ago, when his grand kids rushed off with tickets to the movie. Never looking back.

As Barry glanced up at the painting again, he rubbed his crotch and thought about the babysitter. When his wife was out of town a few months ago, he asked the babysitter to come over and babysit, except he didn’t have any kids. After offering her alcohol and drugs, and two hundred dollars, it was easy pickings. “And not having to use a condom would be really nice,” he imagined, as he touched himself again.