The Miss Wet America Contest is Coming Soon!!! While Miss America Goes Completely Dry…


(Published: July 4, 2018)
The Miss Wet America Contest is Coming Soon to America!!!
While Miss America Goes Completely Dry…
by DR Wolfe

Despite the announcement in 2018 that the Miss America competition will no longer include a “swim suit” segment, and instead, will focus on the intellectual abilities of the contestants, one billionaire has a different idea about beauty and what America really wants to see–

The hysterical political correct crowd appears to have shot themselves in the foot once again (and was bulled over by a few esthetically-challenged radical feminists), by removing the most popular event from next year’s Miss America Contest.

Not only is the swim suit competition the most viewed portion of what has been the world’s most popular “beauty” contest among men, but was also the most watched segment of the show by women to, according to most television annalists.

So don’t be surprised if the Miss Wet America Contest doesn’t replace the formerly popular beauty competition, over night. And here’s why.

Not only will the new contest, to find the most beautiful, sexiest American woman, include a swim suit competition, but there will also be a number of other equally provocative events by the sparsely-dressed contestants.

According to my sources, these events will include volleyball, a back stroke race, and the most popular event, the sand dune sprint, where contestants will race to the top of a giant sand dune, wile judges admire and rate their speed and “athleticism” from below.

“Rest assured”, say the organizers, who promise the contestants will almost always be competing in swim suits, or some skimpy shorts (and wet t-shirts), along with a few other more traditional events, such as the lingerie competition.

As long as it doesn’t alter or interfere with the event, contestants will be encouraged to apply some personal creativity to both There outfits and performance.

There will also be a talent show where contestants can display or perform, as long as it’s appropriate for television!

And I understand there will be a “secret diary competition”, where the ladies will be placed at a desk, surrounded by candles, wearing nothing but a robe and slippers. Each contestant will read a few short paragraphs from a diary they’ve written about their lives, dreams and most secret desires…and will be judged on their sensual delivery and creative writing skills.

Beginning in November of each year, Over a three month period, all fifty states and several territories will hold their own competitions, some of which may be pre-recorded during the warmer months. On the particular evening the state or territory is featured, the entire competition will be viewed by a national audience, either earlier during the day online or it will be broadcast live.

This entire series will build up to Valentine Day, where the individual winners from each state and territory will compete in a tropical paradise for a national championship to wear the next MISS WET AMERICA Crown!

Those of us with disabilities, especially if you’re straight and male, know to well how we have been shoved into the very last seat by these bigoted-lefties and their selective political correctness policies, where some able-bodied bigot from Texas (and his bimbo, Linda) can get away with having a company called “” (What do you get if you cross a blind person with a monster? Really Kyle Cox, then why isn’t their two s’s, like in the word “blindsster”?)!

But a group of Asian Americans can’t have a band called “The Slants?” Hmmm…

Maybe in the long run, because of the hypocrisy and madness coming from the political correctness crowd we will be able to create a more honest society that appreciates true beauty in its most imperfect, natural form (and maybe learn to appreciate what ever nature gives to us).

Not to say that the feminists aren’t partly right, and that there shouldn’t be some competition that measures a person’s intellect, regardless of their gender.

Oh wait, we already have that! Their called game shows–