3 Americas: A Pearl Necklace For Christmas WARNING: Includes explicit descriptions of sex (Not appropriate for young readers)

by sitting on my lap in this way THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT why AND HOW THE GOVERNMENT (and friends of AIPAC)
ARE LIKELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SLOWLY TORTURING TO DEATH A BLIND AMERICAN (and his dog)
IN PORTLAND, OREGON (i.e. Rotland, Oregoon)!
IS IT TO HIDE “THE SECRET” ABOUT THE SECRET…
Victor, Victoria?

(Last updated: August 31, 2019)
3 AMERICAS: A Pearl Necklace For Christmas
by DR Wolfe

{As I continue a full revision, this is one of the new chapters from my revised autobiography, “3 Americas”.}

(Includes strong language and explicit descriptions of sex.)

PART ONE:
Hearing the sound of someone softly knocking, I stopped typing and went to the door. It was my landlord, Phil.

“There’s a sheriff deputy here that wants to talk to you,” he said, but he didn’t know why.

I was to learn that my wife, Christel, had filed for divorce in Lane County. This would be the third time we, or she, had filed for divorce over the last three years. I concluded, this definitely meant we wouldn’t be working on the marriage.

Christel and I got married in the summer of 2002. Ironically, we were married by a Washington County judge. About a month later, we moved to southeast Portland, where we were living when Abraham was born on August 26, 2002.

Along with the divorce papers from Lane County, the deputy also gave me a stapled packet of exhibits that Christel had submitted to the Court along with her petition.

With some help, I began sorting through the paperwork. The first thing I discovered was that many of the alphabetically marked exhibits were missing. However, perhaps accidentally, she did include an exhibit which sounded like a written confession, dated two and a half years earlier — October 2004, addressed to Beaverton Detective Dennis Marley.

In one paragraph it described what would seem to be a sex crime knowingly committed by her against her oldest daughter in 2001 while we shared an apartment in Beaverton, Oregon.

As I began to read the letter she sent to this detective in 2004, Using my scanner and screen reading software, I began thinking about the night she was referring to in her letter. It was a very weird night, as I recall. It was in the fall of 2001. But it wasn’t the only time things got weird around Christel… But maybe that night was a lot more weird than I ever knew–

This exhibit — a 2004 letter to Detective Marley, was submitted to the Lane County Circuit Court as an attachment to her petition. Therefore, it was submitted, along with all the other attachments, as being a truthful sworn affidavit. This means it is a permanent public record, unless the courts are lawfully convinced to seal some or all of the court records. This is exactly what my wife’s attorney did in 2007, which triggered a number of tragedies, as I’ll explain.

In the next chapter, I describe how my wife’s lawyer, Michelle Bo Victor, arranged to have Clackamas County and the State of Oregon arrest me three days prior to the trial, in May of 2007.

The evidence suggests she intentionally did this to prevent me from questioning my wife about this particularly revealing letter Christel apparently had sent to the Beaverton Police Department…describing her own failure to set appropriate boundaries involving her children and her male partners–

Are you wondering, why am I disclosing all of this here?

Because, first I have twice been denied the opportunity by law enforcement and the courts in Oregon to actually appear in court and confront my accusers or the evidence against me. And as I’ll explain, twice I was given a lawyer who was only there to serve the interests of the prosecutor, and perhaps, securing his own promotion within the public pretender system.

And second, because our constitution provides that anyone formally accused of committing a crime or any other sort of wrong-doing, as her hidden letter to the police documents, has a legal right to publicly defend themselves in whatever peaceful manner would best protect them from the implied threat to their life, liberty or property by an allegation such as this. This is a natural law granted to every American under both our state and federal constitutions.

Since I can’t afford a team of lawyers, and I have no guns, my disabilities leave me very few options as to how to best respond to this personal attack questioning my character. So, this time I won’t leave my fate to a government paid lawyer!

As you read my version of what happened that night — finding myself naked in bed with my girlfriend, and my girlfriend’s pre-teenage daughter, with an erection, the facts will speak for themselves as to who was responsible for these circumstances…

Sounds pretty bad for me, doesn’t it? But the devil, as they say, is always in the details.

This new evidence — the 2004 mysterious letter to Dennis Marley, strongly suggests that the cops and the prosecutor, Robert W. Herman, were protecting my wife. And they were using her to get to me, and destroy my credibility; Just as they once promised they would do to me, when I raised objections to how Oregon’s peer mentoring program was being run.

Apparently, during the “investigation”, from the very beginning, they only had one goal; they only wanted to discredit me. So they kept Christel and all of the exculpatory evidence out of their “investigation”.

For example, this letter proves she was the one who brought her oldest daughter into the bed with us that night, where we had just been making love.

So what was her true intent that chilli winter night? I always wanted to think it was just a lapse in judgement on her part, and not a personal, up close lesson in sexual practices and techniques designed for her daughter’s education. Unknowingly, or unexpectedly, I participated in several of these up close lessons I feel compelled to talk about now.

As I continued to read her letter, I thought to myself, why in hell would she write and sign this confession and send it to a cop? I hadn’t said anything about that strange situation to anyone, and had completely forgotten about it, until now. But maybe there was something else even more weird going on than I ever realized?

And there was a few other equally troubling incidents that I do remember, as I’ll describe below, like earlier that same fall when I was given an erotic lap dance from each of her daughters, who were both completely naked at the time!

Christel was always doing this crazy sex stuff with me, including sometimes while her girls were either watching or being encouraged to participate. You can judge my participation, and my responsibility, but first at least hear my side of it.

As I describe my abusive experience being incarcerated for 42 days in Washington County in another chapter, here’s a few reasons why Detective Marley, Bob Hermann and a few people from Clackamas County didn’t want any of the details in this case to ever go to trial. And I soon found out, they were willing to do anything to make sure of it…

Despite what happened to her as a young girl, I always wanted to believe Christel would be okay and grow out of this sort of thrill seeking. And I truly hoped we would eventually settle down and become a “normal” family. But the system isn’t designed to help families. That’s obvious. It’s about scoring touchdowns and running up the score on the weaker opponent. Just like Eaton Rapids wrestling coach (and academic counselor), Jack Provencal always did. It’s all about being number one, no matter the cost–

In the fall of 2001, when all of this was going on, we started getting couple counseling at the Templeton House. And it’s kind of funny, but it was because of my initiative. However, when we started talking about our sex life Christel made some excuse for not ever wanting to go back there. This is because she didn’t want this couple who had been counseling us, both individually and as a couple, to ever know about these crazy sex games she liked to play, sometimes involving her girls–

Like, one time in the middle of the night after we had been drinking a lot of wine she took me to the nun’s graveyard at Marylhurst University to have sex in this building, that was a kind of mausoleum located on the other side of the graveyard.
And her decision to bring her sexually-curious daughter into our bed that late fall evening, despite that we had just been having a romantic moment, truthfully wasn’t a complete shock. Although, I do remember feeling disappointed and a little frustrated at the very moment when I felt her and her daughter climb into the bed with me.

After this happened, I remember telling Christel something like, ‘I would appreciate it if you would make sure that neither of the girls ever sleep in the bed with us late at night (even if her last boyfriend, Rick, didn’t mind).’

When we first started seeing each other, she would complain about Rick’s vast collection of pornography and his “pornography problem”, and his bad teeth.

I realize now that she didn’t mind the porn as much as she pretended…

I know the girls got to look at a lot of it since I suspect Rick is the one who put some of it on their mom’s computer under a folder called “Sloppy Seconds”, which was located on the desktop, directly below the link to the girls favorite computer game!

I suppose Christel and Rick could always claim it was actually a link to Dr. Hook’s infamous album, with the same name, which included several childhood classics you may remember, including, “Looking’ For Pussy” and “Get Your Rocks Off!” Except that’s not what actually was in this folder, was it Rick?

So, not only did Christel’s girls have easy access to lots of sexually explicit material, as I’ll explain, but all of their friends were able to view it as well, including the daughter of a Clackamas County Circuit Judge, without any supervision.

So, as I think back, it’s no wonder they were both already extremely curious about sex when I first started seeing their mom in February of 2001.

I’m going to jump ahead in this story, and you can read all the explicit details below, but I’m going to tell you now exactly why I think Christel needed to get me to do something sexually inappropriate with her older daughter. Here’s why she did everything, and I do mean almost everything she could to facilitate this relationship; It seemed as though she was doing everything she could to try and make this happen.

Although I didn’t understand it at the time, I now realize every day Christel was grooming both of us to become interested in pursuing these opportunities (to become sexually involved).

What’s strange is that it seemed so natural for Christel to do this– I suppose she may not have always known that’s what she was doing — trying to get us both aroused by talking about something sexual while we were in her company–

As I mentioned, both of the girls seemed very interested in their mom’s sex life, and apparently enjoyed secretly watching us. You know, this isn’t normal, especially for a ten or eleven-year-old girl.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but usually kids by this age are completely grossed out by the thought of either of their parents ever having any kind of sex! “YUCK!”

So maybe, before we met, something had been happening at night, while they were all in bed together. And if Christel didn’t do anything to stop it from happening, and had encouraged them by getting them to first take off their clothes in front of her boyfriends, as she did several, and maybe dozens, of times while we were together. I would imagine, a part of her must have been very worried about someday being caught, and being prosecuted!

Maybe it only involved some inappropriate touching, and maybe letting them watch the adults, it would still be a serious sex crime anywhere in America. So maybe Christel needed some way out. Maybe her and Rick figured out that they needed some other man to do something even worse with one or both of her girls, at least once.

According to Christel, Rick and her had been regularly dosing her younger daughter with benedrill at night. So, after the younger one is asleep, there may have been more serious things going on between the other three? Or maybe her and one of Rick’s teenage boys, who often spent the night at Christel’s duplex in Springfield?

It might explain why they both felt fairly confident that with a little encouragement they would eventually be able to get me to try to have sex with the older girl, who apparently had begun developing, sexually, some time just before we had moved in together.

Knowing what I know now, it appears the the two of them figured by doing this — getting me to have sex with the older girl, who was barely eleven, I suspect they believed it would take the focus off of their own “problem”.

So I wonder, when they did this, were they planning to get back together once I was successfully labeled the “villain” and a “convicted child molester?” They all made absolutely sure I would never get a chance to face a jury of my peers, or ever once confront the evidence against me in a court of law.

Is this case beginning to sound a little suspicious to you? I hope so. They destroyed my life and stole my kid–

When we first started seeing each other, Rick lived down the street and knew I was coming over and staying the night, but never interrupted us. Even though, the girls told me he was also continuing to see their mom, and stay over night at her duplex a couple nights a week.

Yet he never once showed up while I was there.

So imagine, your a guy whose girlfriend says, ‘she wants to see other people’. And she’s still sleeping with you (this former boyfriend), just for old time sakes. And then this old boyfriend finds out she’s seeing some blind guy.

So ask yourself, wouldn’t you think most guys would show up unexpectedly at their old girlfriend’s door at least a few times when this blind guy’s just down the street with your ex-girlfriend (getting some)? I mean, wouldn’t you at least try to disrupt their perfect little love nest, a little bit? He could always say it was an honest mistake, and that he had been drinking and forgot which night it was.

So if you’re the “ex” boyfriend, and you had been getting it for a year or more from this really hot young woman (And she was definitely one of the best lovers I had ever known!), why wouldn’t he try to do something to discourage this blind guy from coming around? Did they have an understanding?

Because of an incident that happened around the 4th of July, which I describe below, I definitely know Rick had a key to her door. And therefore, could have easily walked in on us any time he wanted. but he never did…and every guy out there knows, this is very, very odd behavior for an ex-boyfriend, even if I weren’t blind. How could he not mind me being there? Did he know it was only a temporary arrangement?

So consider this possibility. Was it because he had no other choice, if he wanted to keep himself, and maybe one or both of his teenage boys, out of prison? Was it because of something that had been happening inside the duplex on Lawnridge, late at night involving the older daughter, who may have been only eight or nine-years-old when the sexual abuse first began?

Which coincidentally is the same age that Christel liked to pretend to be when we played one of her favorite sex games, described below.

Later that summer, in 2001, Christel transferred from the University of Oregon in Eugene to Marylhurst University, south of Portland (and gave up almost an entire year’s worth of credit hours).

She explained why she wanted to attend this particular school, but I didn’t understand why she got an apartment in another county (in Beaverton), but that’s what she did,

By the way, where coincidentally Rick and a priest she knew from Eugene had both recently moved…

Did too many of their Springfield neighbors know too much about them, and they were worried that their plan to frame me would likely be exposed? Maybe they figured, if their plan was going to work, they decided they needed some new neighbors who didn’t know anything about their past relationship, before they began encouraging the older daughter to begin “seducing” me? Obviously, she was way to young to understand how she was being manipulated by these adults, who were encouraging this developing eleven-year-old girl to take off all of her clothes one day, hop on my lap, and then wrap her arms and legs around me…and not let go until–

As I have written more about below, I know Christel never stopped seeing Rick, along with a few other men. So the bedroom community of Beaverton and cops like “Dufess Marley”, gave them the perfect place to pull this off (and maybe cover up their own crimes).

It was the perfect place to make me the “bad guy”, as Marley’s partner “Idiot Oaes” put it, and destroy my life…and eventually steal my kid!

So when I learned about this letter, presumably written by her in the fall of 2004, I first began thinking she may have had some other inappropriate intentions that night. That is, given what I know about her unquenchable sexual appetite, her desire to follow her thrills, and her need to explore new things and “break the rules” whenever possible.

Christel’s favorite expression, and I don’t think she was only referring to her art, was, “I want to learn the rules, so that I can break them!”

Besides pursuing a serious relationship with a woman with two young daughters and no healthy boundaries, the biggest mistake I ever made since coming to Oregon in 1998 was agreeing to talk to a cop. I made the mistake of letting these two detectives from Beaverton, Marley and Oaes come into my home, and agreeing to listen to what they had to say, hoping I could make them understand how crazy it was living with someone like this, as a blind guy.

However, after a few minutes it became obvious they could care less about hearing anything about the truth, if it conflicted with their version–

Marley did all the talking. Only thing I remember Oaes saying was something about going to see some little kids in Corvallis, Oregon, and teaching them about “bad guys”, which sounded kind of creepy to me, given the context of our meeting

As I said, these two knuckleheads weren’t interested in learning the truth. Obviously, their sole objective was to entrap me into saying something they might be able to twist in front of a secret grand jury, since there would be no chance to present my side before I would be secretly indicted and arrested.

By over charging someone and then by setting someone’s bail high enough ( for me that was $250,000), the state can easily hold a person in jail for over a year, awaiting trial. Why wouldn’t they let me stay in my home and give me an ankle bracelet instead?

I realize, even before I was arrested, the plan always was to get me to accept a plea bargain, which they all knew would forever destroy my credibility and my life, just as they promised to do five years earlier. And, if you can believe it, my “lawyer” assured me that being “labeled as a “registered sex offender” wasn’t so bad. Except, it’s actually worse than death, especially if you can’t defend yourself.

That’s because, every day both the police and the neighborhood vigilantes have been torturing me at night with what I call their “Rotland Tail Lasers!”

They’re also trying to kill me with some sort of poison spray by spraying me with some sort of liquid through the windows and vents of my RV at night, or sometimes, when I’m outside during the day. As a result, my scalp is almost completely gone, as you can see from my current photo.

In 2013 they drugged my food with a powerful hallucinogenic drug, possibly VX, which caused me to hallucinate for four or five days. At the time, my food and drinks were being stored in a replacement refrigerator that was sitting on my front porch (because it wouldn’t fit through the RV’s door).

As a result of this, I ended up in one of the local hospitals for six days. Some dumb ass shrink from this hospital convinced me that my hallucinations were from my long-term use of marijuana, rather than being drugged by the police or one of my neighbors. So this “pharma-whore”, posing as a doctor, put me on one of the most dangerous drugs available called “Triazolam”. Which is an addictive class of drugs called “benzodiazepines”, which can kill you or cause you to kill someone else, if you stop taking it!

At first it makes you feel euphoric, for a month or two, until your brain becomes addicted to the drug. Then the victim begins to have nightmares, and isn’t able to sleep… It’s more commonly known as “Halcion”.

So here’s how they were able to claim my “mental illness” was a result of using the marijuana. However, those of us who use it regularly know that the THC in marijuana, combined with the other 200 compounds in cannabis, is the key ingredient in the plant that helps with depression, sleeplessness, chronic pain, and many other medical conditions, including apparently preventing cancer.

First, did you know no one has ever gotten lung cancer from smoking cannabis? This is because, once the complex compound gets into the blood stream, and saturates the blood (The Rick Simpson cure), it seeks out mutant cells in the body and literally smothers them to death (by coating the damaged cell, which blocks nutrients from getting into the membrane of the cell, and the targeted cell slowly dies). And you notice the corporate media whores won’t ever tell you this dirty little secret about marijuana?

And George Norry and the rest of these corporate pressitutes are now attacking THC, rather than the plant. However, studies from outside of the United States show that the higher the level of THC in a plant, the more elongated the individual fibers tend to be. This means, if you’re making rope, plywood, or cloth, the hemp fibers with more THC will be stronger, which will make the product more durable.

Furthermore, hemp with higher levels of THC make a richer, better bio fuel. Similar to how sweet potatoes make better bio fuel than corn , yet the government promotes the use of the corporate controlled GMO corn over hemp, or anything else, when it comes to making bio fuel.

Doesn’t that sound like some sort of collusion is going on? I can assure you that the petroleum industry is very happy about America producing a lesser quality bio fuel–

Along with my advocacy for the legalization of marijuana, another reason I may have been targeted by Oregon pursecutors is my belief that the grand jury system should be completely abolished. I believe this is key to creating a more fair criminal justice system.

I hope the grand jury process as it has been used since the 1900 will some day be found to violate the Oregon State Constitution, which in many ways is stronger than the federal constitution. Perhaps, seeking a remedy through the courts may be the only way to fix this problem, given the legislature’s own bias toward the police and complicity in maintaining the status quo.

My case proves the grand jury process unfairly targets minorities and persons of low income, while almost never holding public officials accountable for wrong doing. This is because of a conflict of interest between the prosecutors and certain government officials, such as the police. And this is because the cops regularly testify (and lie) on behalf of the state and collectively punish DA’s who attempt to hold any of them accountable, a practice sometimes referred to as the “blue flu”, although rarely will any public official ever admit any of this, publicly.

While there may eventually be some positive changes coming to Oregon under a 2017 revision to the grand jury process, it’s complete secrecy and complete prosecutorial bias, along with a lack of having any formal record of the proceedings in most counties (other than some juror’s notes), only further the efforts of dishonest “witnesses” who are willing, black mailed, or offered some consideration to join in the persecutor’s long, winding, twisted tail–>

Speaking of dishonest witnesses, any reasonable person must ask why in the hell would these two detectives drive all the way out to my home (located in another county just before Thanksgiving) and not ask me anything about Christel’s October letter to Detective Marley — why wouldn’t these two cops ask me anything about once being naked in bed with my girlfriend’s young, sexually curious daughter with a massive erection! Especially since I would have told them that it was completely true, as I’ll explain–

Can you imagine the headline had they arrested both of us for this!

“BEAVERTON COUPLE BRINGS BLOOMING DAUGHTER TO BED,
FOR LATE NIGHT SNACK!”!

So why do you suppose (at the very least) didn’t they arrest both of us, This is because they knew what would eventually happen…once my side of the story was told, as I’ve done here, and a jury learned the whole truth. They knew she would be the one ultimately held responsible by the court for encouraging her daughters to play simulated sex games around her boyfriends while she was coaching them and knowingly exposing them to highly explicit sexual material.

But like most cops and most lawyers who will do or say anything to win a case — to hell with the truth, Marley and the Washington County persecutors were no exception to this rule.

Christel told me that when she was subpoenaed to appear before the grand jury on December 30, 2004, Marley and the DDA, Greg Olson, who was suspended by the Oregon BAR in 2006 for a similarly deceitful practice, pulled her into an office and encouraged her to lie to the grand jury. They told her to say I had hit her. This wasn’t true and she wouldn’t go along with it, and told me all about it that evening.

She did lie to me about one thing, telling me that the grand jury had not yet come to a decision as to whether or not to indite me.

curiously, she did feel it was important to mention that an Hispanic man on the grand jury had asked her if I was “really blind?” As I recall, she never did say what she told him, and I always assumed she was truthful…but what if that was part of the plan (to get me out of the picture); the plan to mislead the grand jury about my total blindness (other than a little bit of useless light perception)?

For the record, when I was eleven or twelve-years-old my brother and I were subjected to two days of these strange brain test, some of which I don’t remember. I do remember that they made my mom wait in the waiting room.

When the tests were evaluated, Dr. Richard A. Lewis, from the University of Michigan’s Medical Center wrote a report which said that my older brother and I had a rare form of a degenerative eye condition called Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP).

So you know, there are estimated to be two hundred different forms of RP Some cause hearing impairments, such as mine, and some do not. There are also some forms of RP that begin to cause the retina to deteriate shortly after birth, such as mine, and some that do not begin to deteriate the retina until they are in their teens or twenties. These people tend to keep a small amount of vision throughout their lives.

Dr. Lewis went on to say that our prognosis was to both be completely blind within the next ten to fifteen years, at most.

Even though my brother had fairly good vision at the time, and even legally drove for a couple years, I was already legally blind at the age of twelve and lost the rest of my useable vision around eighteen, when I began using a white cane. My older brother was lucky enough to not go blind until his mid to late twenties.

As far as having ever been physically violent with her, Christel knows, I have never, ever intentionally harmed her, other than speaking the truth. It’s true, I may have stepped on her toe or accidentally bumped her head a few times. But the fact is, I adored every inch of her perfect body and always, always touched her in the most loving way possible. Even if our angry words were sometimes unusually cruel.

Apparently, neither Olson, Marley or the Washington County Prosecutor, Bob Herman, ever turned this 2004 letter addressed to Marley, and you must agree it was a critical piece of evidence, proving my wife’s bad behavior, over to my appointed attorney, Public Defender Gregory Sholl.

In a fair legal process, this intentional deception by the police and the prosecutors — hiding such critical exculpatory evidence (which they do all the time), ought to be enough grounds in a truly fair legal system to dismiss my coerced plea bargain — a deal I made with the devil to get out of Sheriff Rob Gordon’s dungeon, after being placed in solitary confinement for almost two weeks (up to 23.75 hours per day, and some days it was 24.0 hours per day).

Not to mention, not being given a fair habeas corpus hearing, where at least one expert witness could have spoke to how this abuse might effect someone who was completely blind and partially deaf, with mild PTSD, and their right to assist in their own defense.

Instead, I was not allowed to speak on my own behalf. And then, following the fake habeas corpus hearing, I was put into a cell with a convicted murderer (with Hepatitis), who claimed to have killed a previous cell mate.
(See, “3 Americas: 42 Days in Bob Hermann Monster’s Isolation Dungeon and the Coerced Plea Bargain”)

But I’m not the only Oregon man with a disability who has been intentionally put into these sort of dangerous situations over the last decade by the state that has been repeatedly ranked number one for abusing the rights of people with disabilities:
1. James Chasse, a severely mentally disabled man, was stomped to death by Portland Police for urinating on a sidewalk in a wealthy neighborhood [see the documentary “Alien Boy”].

Then, as internal and federal investigations continued, the police union arranged to have over 650 Portland Police Officers march through the streets with t-shirts declaring their support for the officer responsible (who shockingly was elected to be the Sheriff of Wheeler County, Oregon).

As planned, this intimidated many of Portland’s disabled citizens who were being asked to submit their own personal experiences involving the police to the Department of Justice and U.S. District Judge Michael J. Simon;

II. According to a 2014 report from Disability Rights Oregon, it is estimated that almost half of Oregon’s incarcerated population is made up of men with disabilities, although the State intentionally keeps extremely poor records documenting this specific demographic. For this reason, and their obvious vulnerability, mentally and physically disabled men in prison and jail are more often the victims of acts of violence and extortion, estimated in just Oregon to be over 4,000 per year;

III. Just as I was put in with a convicted murderer by Washington County in 2005, who I believe was told to intentionally intimidate me (and maybe kill me), a Portland man [Michael Hagen] was also intentionally put into a cell with what appears to be another dangerous “Zionist-controlled” psychopath (also posing as a white supremacist ) at the Snake River Correctional Institute.

This inmate had already threaten to kill Hagen, yet that’s exactly who the State of Oregon put Hagen in with after removing him from solitary confinement (against his wishes)– Isn’t this what is called “pre-meditated murder”?

Just so you know, Hagen wasn’t a nice man, and probably deserved to be roughed up. For no reason, he beat up a young, innocent female clerk with a club and badly injured her, while under the influence of meth. This is as senseless as it gets and I’m not defending what he did by including this hauntingly similar situation, set up by the same “correction creeps” from Oregon who intentionally put me in with a convicted murderer.

Was that the plan? Was I supposed to also be murdered by a cell mate, who bragged about having already killed a previous cell mate? Why would Washington County put a completely blind man in a cell with a convicted murderer?

In my case, it was obviously “pre-meditated”, even if it was only done to intimidate me. It could have just as easily also led to my death.

I believe the female deputy responsible and her supervisors, Sheriff Gordon and Sergeant Brown, should have been prosecuted by the same DA, Bob Hermann, who was helping my wife and her lovers frame me! Of course, that’s a joke–

Unlike me, I believe Hagen was exactly where he was supposed to be, serving his time, for a very long time, and maybe not long enough.

But just like me and Madaline Pitkin, who died in the Washington County Jail at the hands of these same ruthless deputies who did this to me, he deserved to be protected by the state.

And actually, what they did to him wasn’t near as grossly negligent as what they did to me — putting a blind, partially-deaf man, who was still innocent (until proven guilty), in with a convicted murderer and encouraging the murderer to threaten and intimidate the blind man (to get Bob another easy plea bargain).

Can you imagine how easily this arrangement could have gone very wrong, and how easy it would have been for this man to kill me?

Even though Hagen told guards he felt this other inmate was intending to harm him, and despite a promise from the Correction Department to transfer him to another prison, Hagen was moved directly from solitary confinement into a cell with the inmate who had threatened to kill him.

As he predicted would happen, the inmate killed Hagen a day later.

According to Hagen’s wife, it’s even worse than that. She told one of the local papers, prison guards ignored her husband’s screams for help, just as they had ignored both Madaline Pitkin and me;

IV. A mentally disabled man, with an I.Q. below 70, was removed from Oregon’s death row by former-State Attorney General John Kroger about ten years ago. And yet another mentally disabled man recently won the right to a new trial based on the exact same facts.

In other words, despite being legally “retarded” he was placed on death row by the Oregon criminal injustice system, a ruthless county persecutor, and the previous “liberal” governor. Not to mention the typical public pretender (with almost no experience or resources), who by the way, the Supreme Court ruled could sleep during a capital punishment case if he or she wanted, without violating the defendant’s right to having “effective counsel present”.

Did you know, unlike the other 49 states, the persecutors in Oregon only need to manipulate ten of the twelve jurors to convict an innocent defendant. This way, with a little help from the public pretender and a crooked judge, getting a convictions of any uneducated or disabled person the state wants to target is fairly easy.

I remember, my own fake lawyer, Gregory Troll, assured me I would probably spend the next year in jail awaiting trial if I didn’t agree to take the persecutor’s dirty plea bargain.

The sad fact is, across America men with disabilities, like the poor and some other minorities, are often targeted by unscrupulous cops and narrow-minded persecutors, like Bob Hermann and Cy Vance, rather than the actual wrongdoers, for many reasons. It’s all about going after the low hanging fruit rather then climbing to the top of the tree and going after the Wall Street banksters or some CEO, which takes a lot more time, energy, and money.

Seeking out the truth also takes some courage, because sometimes you don’t find the answer you expected, or maybe wanted, especially when there’s a paycheck or a hot young lady involved–

Christel’s withheld written confession and the book of pornography she shared with her girls, clearly document her role as the primary instigator in this case. For example, had the Beaverton detectives taken the book into custody when they found it in the bedroom of the oldest daughter, they would have discovered that all three of the children’s fingerprints were all over the book. If the police had tested the book, after interviewing me about the children’s access to pornography, they would have found the fingerprints of several other children, including, as I said, the prints of the daughter of a Clackamas County Circuit Judge, who had befriended my wife that fall.

In addition, legally speaking, the evidence would prove beyond any doubt that Christel’s words and actions were instrumental in creating a sexually charged environment around her children and her male partners. And her complete immunity from having any responsibility in any of this, while charging me with a Measure 11 offense [with a minimum of 6.5 years in prison] for having allegedly once touched the oldest daughter’s breast in a sexual manner was both selective and discriminatory. Yet another example of police corruption and prosecutorial misconduct throughout Oregon and America.

My treatment clearly documents a clear pattern and practice of an ongoing abuse of power among the lawyers working under the authority of the Washington County District Attorney.

Despite overwhelming evidence of a practice of systemic discrimination against people with disabilities and other indigent defendants by this county’s jail and prosecutors, the State BAR and the legislature do nothing!

So for a moment imagine your a cop, but not just any rookie cop, but rather an experienced detective with all sorts of investigative tools and skills at your fingertips. And you get a letter from this thirty-four-year-old, sexy white mom which includes a short paragraph describing how she had brought her pre-pubescent eleven-year-old daughter into the bed with her naked boyfriend, who she claims became aroused only after the little girl climbs into the bed. and ask yourself, wouldn’t you ask at least a couple more questions about this to the mom?

After all, it would be a good excuse to go see her during the day, while the tow older kids were away…

Like:
Was this normal for you and the boyfriend to do this, I mean bring the little girl into the bed with you two at night?

You say here in your letter you knew he was naked? Is that right?

And, if I can be personal for a minute, exactly what were you wearing before you brought the little girl into the bed with your naked boyfriend?

And you say here, you got out of the bed when she knocked, and instead of going into the little girl’s bedroom with her like you usually do? Instead you brought her into your bed with you and the naked boyfriend? did I get this part right?

And your also saying he didn’t become aroused at all, laying there with you dressed like that with no panties, until after you brought the little girl into the bed with you and him? Do I got all of this right?

But in all honesty, I’m sure no detective, and so maybe there’s some sort of long-term strategy in not asking these sort of hard questions, after reading a signed confession like this… Like maybe getting into the “good graces” with the hot, white mom, and who knows, maybe hooking up later when the case is over? That might explain why Marley put the book of pornography (purchased by the Ford Foundation) back down on my oldest step-daughter’s shelf, that lazy fall afternoon and offered the lady a deal she couldn’t refuse–

It sounds an awful lot like what Portland Police Officer Jeromie Palaoro allegedly did in 2015 at 3:30 a.m. when he went to the hotel room of a traumatized, female domestic violence victim. He had met her while on duty a few hours earlier and kept texting her, saying “I know I shouldn’t be doing this.” Then after telling her twice “Remember, I write the report”, he unexpectedly pulled a gun out of a bag and through it on the table and took off his clothes, and told her to start rubbing him.

Rather than being charged with kidnapping, false imprisonment, aggravated sexual assault, and brandishing a weapon during the commission of a crime, and being labeled as a registered sex offender for life, as Maxine Bernstein’s July 22, 2015 Oregonean article suggests should have been the case, he was only charged with “official misconduct”!

According to Bernstein’s article, the victim describes at least three separate sexual assaults committed against her by Officer Palaoro in the presence of a weapon, which the victim said she felt was an ‘implied threat of violence’ if she didn’t do as he said.

Instead, The Multnomah District Attorney Rod Underhill and DDA Chris Ramris, arranged a very special plea bargain for this cop in which Palaoro can’t be a police officer again. But this only applies to the state of Oregon. Oh, and he has to do an entire 18 months of “supervised” probation.

Of course, this means being watched by mostly former-cops, some of whom we know were kicked off the force for having a drinking problem or using excessive force on the job.

Want to guess what job Officer Palaoro will be doing next? Monitoring (and assaulting) alleged sex offenders for the county (who couldn’t afford private attorneys)?

So, maybe the deal Marley offered Christel included ignoring the book of pornography (and all it’s revealing fingerprints), and stashing her letter of confession far, far away somewhere in the back of a file cabinet where only he could find it (Like Clackamas County did ten years earlier with the sexual assault complaint filed against a man named Ward Weaver by his son’s teenage girlfriend, before he went on to kill two other teenage girls.).

So maybe when Detective Marley first read Christel’s confession he knew immediately that he should, at the very least, also be filing charges against her. He had to know, by stating that she had knowingly brought her daughter into bed with her naked boyfriend, she had committed a crime. This would be obvious to anyone who had completed Criminal Justice 101. If she was willing to admit to this much, how could Marley have not wondered what else may have been happening, that she isn’t telling him? Especially after finding this explicit book of pornography in the older daughter’s room?

But maybe he was told to keep Christel, her mother, Rick, Frank, the friendly Judge from Clackamas County, all of her professor friends, a doctor and a couple sleasy shrinks, the Ford Foundation, as well as Marylhurst University and the Catholic Church, completely out of his investigation. And that’s exactly what he did…and why I’m telling you abut it now–

PART TWO:
I had been in bed for about an hour before Christel came into the bedroom. I was completely naked, as usual.

She liked to stay up late and work on her art. And then, when she did come to bed she liked to discover me that way, warm and naked under the blanket, waiting for her.

I remember. She would quickly slip under the covers and tightly wrap her arms around me, as though I were a life preserver waiting to rescue her from the cold, vicious world. At those special moments, it seemed like everything between us was perfect!

That night, when I heard her open the door I didn’t say a word, I just laid there and listened. First, I heard her slip off her clothes and toss them into the corner. Then I imagined her slipping into her short nightie, with nothing underneath. As she usually did.

Then I heard her sit down at the desk and begin brushing her hair. I listened as she slowly pull the brush down through it and thought about How much i loved to run my fingers through this amazingly soft, long beautiful hair while we made love.

Facing her desk, I waited patiently under the blanket. And it was just a few minutes later when she slid her slender body into the bed next to me.

As I Turned toward her, we slid our arms around each other and began to kiss.

While I can’t remember exactly everything we were doing before it happened, or exactly how we were wrapped together, but I do remember for sure she wasn’t wearing any panties. This meant she was available if I was interested. And I was almost always interested in making love to her.

As I continued reading her letter, I thought more about what we had been doing that night. As I began to remember it, I recall we were going to make love, but she said or did something to let me know she wasn’t quite ready.

We had an understanding about making love. She always knew it was okay to let me know when she wanted or needed more time, or wanted to change positions, since she knew I enjoyed helping her get more ready, if that’s what she wanted.

It had only been about ten or fifteen minutes or so since she came to bed and I wasn’t usually in any hurry since there was never a doubt what was going to eventually happen. She knew that even if it was going to be a quickie, it probably wasn’t going to be the last time that night I would want to pleasure her. She knew, I only needed a little encouragement.

As I remember, I settled in next to her, and began to use my fingers to please her gently, the way she liked, when a hurried, anxious knock came from the bedroom door.

Faster than lightening, Christel quickly pulled away from me and rushed to the door, almost as though she were expecting it. It was her older daughter, who I heard saying through the door, “Mommy”?

Startled by the way Christel had jumped out of the bed to answer the door, I hurriedly wrapped the blanket around me, and curled up into a ball, pretending to be asleep. I didn’t think much about it at the time, thinking she would get rid of her daughter just as quickly–

I heard her open the door. Maybe they said something to each other, but I didn’t hear what they said. I did hear the door close pretty quickly, and disappointedly figured Christel took her daughter back into the girls room to lay down for a while, like she almost always did when they came to the door.

Sometimes she would get them something to eat or drink, and then send them back to bed without her. And maybe that’s why Dennis Marley never asked me about her letter, since the very moment Christel made the conscious decision to do what she did next, and then closed the door behind her, as she did, she had very likely knowingly committed a serious felony, as I’ll explain.

And maybe Detective Marley knew this, or suspected it after reading her letter, and intentionally hid her letter to protect her?

So instead of going back into the girl’s room, a moment later, I felt both of their bodies fall into the bed next to me. And because of what we were doing (ten or fifteen seconds earlier), in truth, I still had a noticeable erection!

I was laying on my right side, facing Christel, who was now facing away from me, toward her daughter. A few moments later Christel slid closer to me and moved her body up against mine. I felt her body push up against my erect penis, and obviously she noticed I was still aroused.

Since getting into bed, Christel and her daughter only said a few words to each other, and I said nothing. But I could tell her daughter was only a few inches away from her mother, facing her.

It didn’t occur to me at the time, but since getting her letter to Marley I have wondered why Christel didn’t grab part of the blanket and cover herself that night since she was wearing almost nothing. She could have easily covered the two of them, if she wanted. It was kind of chilly, around November I think. And it was a large blanket that would have easily covered all three of us and the entire queen size bed with some blanket to spare.

As we lay there, mine and Christel’s bodies naturally squeezed together, even tighter, like a new magnet and a chunk of hard steel. It was nice, considering how disappointed I had felt a few moments earlier when I heard the knock.

I remember feeling her small, round bottom pressing up against me. Not surprisingly, I felt stimulated again, since I was still aroused from what we had been doing a few minutes earlier, and the sensation of her whole body leaning against me was an instant reminder.

Then I felt her wiggle her butt, just a little, but it was enough to let me know she still wanted me… It was a disturbing moment for many reasons, I recall. Part of me thought we were having this secret, intimate moment between us, just waiting for her daughter to hurry up and fall asleep and then be ushered by her mom back to her own bedroom. Hopefully with no complaint or delay.

On the other hand, I was wondering what Christel was doing by bringing her daughter into the bed with me since I wasn’t wearing clothes, even if she thought it was only for a few minutes.

Why at the very least didn’t she leave the door open? Was she concerned that her younger daughter might be awoken by the sound of one of us being pleasured? Was that the plan?

Or was this just “considered normal” for Christel and her boyfriends — to “educate” the older daughter at night while they were all in bed together?

As most healthy, straight men would imagine, it was a true moment of cognitive dissidence…

And that’s what really made what she said in the Marley letter so infuriating! Christel, and probably Marley too, knew I was aroused long before her daughter came to the door. Yet in this letter she infers to Detective Marley that I had not become aroused until after she brought her daughter into the bed with us,

It was odd, because Christel had never brought either of her girls into our bed late at night while I was sleeping. She admitted that she knew I was already naked when she did it? She knew I always slept naked, and she had to know this would eventually come out, if the jury was to read her letter about me becoming aroused by her oldest daughter.

The important question now is probably who else saw this 2004 letter before I got a copy in 2007?

The history of the wire-bound book of pornography that Detective Marley didn’t take into evidence is as follows:
The book was first shown to the girls in the winter or early spring of 2001. I believe she began sharing it with them shortly after Christel bought it from the University of Oregon Book Store with the money she got from the Ford Foundation.

It was usually left out in the living room on a book shelf where I found it sitting many times, while she was living in Springfield, Beaverton and West Linn. Any one could pick it up and look through it.

I can’t say the pornography book had anything to do with this, but about a couple months after the girls started looking at the book, a woman who lived across the street on Lawnridge, in Springfield, came over and tried to tell Christel her five-year-old daughter was running up and down the street naked.

I don’t remember exactly what the neighbor said, but I remember that Christel began screaming something at the woman like, ‘WHY DON’T YOU MIND YOUR OWN damn BUSINESS!’

The following fall The youngest daughter’s teacher in Beaverton asked Christel to come in and talk to her about some incidents involving her daughter acting out inappropriately in a sexual manner. When I tried to asked her about what happened at the meeting, I remember Christel became agitated, so I let it drop.

And a year later, we began taking the youngest daughter to the Morrison Children’s Center in southeast Portland, as I insisted, because she had made several threats to kill her younger brother, Abraham, including once having described her plans to drown him.

Obviously, the older daughter must have been also effected by the explicit material, and was acting out in her own way.

But it wasn’t just the younger daughter who was acting out. Christel told me while they were living in West Linn she caught the older daughter and a friend of hers one day sending out naked, explicit pics of each other, posing both together and separately…

this may have something to do with the older daughter being arrested in the fall of 2005 for assaulting her mother with a cell phone in the presence of her younger sister and brother. Having her two younger siblings present when it happened automatically made the assault an aggravated felony.

As usual, Christel’s new “good friend”, Judge van Dyk came to the rescue and sent a handwritten note to the lady judge who was handling the case, asking her for leniency.

However, by interfering in the legal process, as he did in 2004 by apparently tampering with the investigation by Washington County in my case, we must ask did he once again prevent a deeper investigation from taking place into this troubled young girl’s family life…and Christel’s own bad behavior?

Isn’t this a clear abuse of power? By doing this, was this circuit judge trying to protect himself and any secrets the older daughter knew, and may disclose, about the nature of his relationship with my wife?

Along with Judge van Dyk, in another chapter I wrote about another judge on the Clackamas County Court, named Bob Herd. But there are a lot of odd things about this particular county court worth mentioning.

For example, in February of 2010 one of the court’s assigned law enforcement staff, Sergeant Jeff Grahn, drove to Greshum and killed his wife, Charlotte. And then for no apparent reason went back into the bar and killed two of her friends, Kathleen Hoffmeister and Victoria Schulmerich, and then killed himself.

What makes this case even more suspicious than the simple question, why did he also kill his wife’s two friends, is that Sergeant Grahn did not use his own service revolver to do the killing.

Was the other gun a ‘drop gun’? When he left for the bar, was his first plan to surprise Charlotte outside and kill her (and maybe her friends too) with this other gun and then throw the gun in the bushes, making it appear like a robbery gone bad?

Even if an honest person did eventually find the gun and turn it in, which he knows is unlikely, he would make sure his fingerprints would never be found on the weapon.

Or maybe, when Jeff Grahn gets to the bar he tries to get Charlie to take a ride with him. Then unexpectedly, he puts the gun in her hand and pulls the trigger before she can react. He claims he has no idea where she got the gun, she just pulled it out and shot herself, he says. Even if it’s his extra gun, he claims she stole it from his dresser, which all sounds fairly reasonable…except to Charlotte’s closest friends, who knew about Jeff’s temper and previous threats.

Did anyone else hear him that night trying to get her to take a ride with him? We know he was able to get her to come outside with him. Maybe when he realized that his first plan wasn’t going to work — to make it look like a suicide, he decided to shoot her anyway.

But what was the urgency? Surely he knew he would have better opportunities to kill her than this, and probably get away with it. Surely he knew there was no possibility of getting away with it, if he just pulled out the gun and started shooting. But that’s exactly what he did!

Grahn had filed for divorce a few months earlier, and Mrs. Grahn did not file an answer. This meant he had already won an automatic judgement against her and got everything he wanted…but killed her anyway. Does this make any sense, unless there was something else? Grahn was described by many who worked with him as being kind of a “control freak” and a “hard ass”.

Did he kill her because Charlie knew some secret about what may have been going on at the Clackamas County Court house? Similar to what a man named Douglas Adamson told me about “some important people from Clackamas County” six months prior to the grewsome murder of a man by the same name.

About ten years ago this guy, who said his name was Douglas Adamson, saw me searching for a bus stop along 82nd Avenue in a heavy rain storm and offered me a ride home. When we got there, I showed him my medical marijuana garden and we smoked a massive joint.

As we’re smoking, he starts telling me about how he had been providing “very young” girls to a lot of important people from Clackamas County”. I laughed it off, and figured he was just jerking my chain.

After that, I called him a couple times about helping me haul some stuff, and left a message at his brother Phil’s house, has he advised me to do if I ever needed a ride. I never did hear back, and gave up.

Then a few months later he calls me at around one in the morning. He asks me in a very suggestive voice if I want any “company”, and he hands the phone to someone else, and I hear this extremely young sounding girl giggling in the background. and then she says “Hello”. When Doug took the phone back, I told him something like ‘Hey Doug, fuck off’ and hung up. This time, I really never did hear from him, ever again.

About six months later I heard on the news about how this guy also named “Douglas Adamson’s” truck was found abandon on the 205, and how they found parts of his chopped up body washed up on the beach in Vancouver, Washington.

I’ve always wondered, who in the world could have ever gotten him to pull over his truck on the highway like that, and just abandon it…other than maybe a cop? The article I read in the paper said he still had gas, and there was nothing wrong with his truck…only that his truck had been abandon on th highway–

Not to sound to paranoid, but I wonder if he was recruited by one of my ex-wife’s friends to try to set me up with this young girl, similar to what Christel seemed to be trying to do with me and her older daughter?

And did Christel’s friends from Clackamas County kill Douglas Adamson to keep it secret, like the unexplained killings of Charlotte Grahn’s two friends?

Did Douglas Adamson become a threat to them because I didn’t take the bait that night and agree to the generous offer to bring this young, excited girl into my bed?

So back to the Grahn killing, and the important question, why did he murder his wives friends. Spouses kill spouses all the time, so it’s tragic. But why did he need to kill her friends?

what were they talking about when it happened? Charlotte’s divorce?

Did he tell Charlotte something in a state of drunkenness that he regretted? Did he happen to mention something that involved a couple of the corrupt county judges and correction officers from Oregon City that I know about? Was he worried that Charlotte had already told her friends about it?

Can you think of any reasonable explanation to explain why Jeff Grahn felt he had to also kill both of his wife’s girlfriends before he shoots himself? He would soon be dead, why would he want to make the situation for his surviving children so much worse, leaving this awful legacy behind?

Maybe one could find some explanation as to why one spouse would feel they needed to kill the other, but the way he went back into the bar and hunted the two girlfriends down, and then killed them, is very troubling. What secret could have been so damn important, so damaging, so damn threatening, to cause so much bloodshed?

But strangely enough, the murder of all three women by a Clackamas County police officer may actually be tied to the murder of two young Oregon City girls; Charlotte Grahn may have something to do with the cover up of the murders of two thirteen-year-old girls, named Ashley Pond and Miranda Gaddis.

In that case, we must ask if perhaps law enforcement was waiting for Ward Weaver to kill his son’s girlfriend before arresting him, when he killed first the Pond girl, and then killed the Gaddis girl? Here are the suspicious facts in this Clackamas County murder case, you decide–

Let’s start with this important fact. In Gus Russo’s best seller, “Supermob” the author describes how in 1955 a private investigator from the room next store used an infrared camera to watch a U.S. Senator rape a young girl, estimated to be fourteen-years-old. In considering what really happened to the girls murdered by ward Weaver , first let’s consider this fact, doesn’t it seem likely that this technology would have improved significantly since 1955?

And then suppose, if there were some extremely wealthy, influential child murderers among us, wouldn’t you think they might want to create a distraction by allowing a sick murderer like Ward Weaver to go ahead and do something just like this, before arresting him?

Fact is, this county seems to have a lot of unusual deaths. Coincidentally, did I mention that this is the same Oregon county where I was living when my own nightmare first began–

Here’s the first important fact. Both of these girls disappeared on their way to school. Despite that we eventually learned that every day they had been walking directly bye the home of their eventual assailant, law enforcement apparently never thought to searched every house, garage, or shed along the route the girls took between their homes and the bus stop. Hmmm…

Despite that the body of Ashley Pond was right there the whole time at Weaver’s home, neither Sheriff Roberts or anyone else thought to look in his shed (where her body was being kept). Although according to one report the police apparently did search Ward Weaver’s house and backyard, and every house and yard along the girl’s path, shortly after the second girl had disappeared on her way to school?

Think about this, the police knew immediately that the girls both disappeared on their way to the exact same bus stop, which you would think would have been a major clue to take a really close look at every house, garage, and shed along the girls’ route. But that’s not what happened.

Now compare this willful incompetency to the massive, invasive search that took place following the Boston Marathon bombing, in which the Forth and Fifth amendment were completely shattered with absolutely no due process. so, what court wouldn’t have granted Sheriff Roberts a search warrant for any of these properties, especially if the owner had refused access to their shed?

So we now know after murdering Ashley Pond, Ward Weaver put her body into a barrel and stashed it in his shed which was located behind the house.

Frankly, I suspect there are a few people from Clackamas County who knew the whole time exactly where Ashley Pond’s body was, but wanted to wait until Weaver had killed another girl before searching the entire property where both of the girls’ bodies were eventually found, one of whom was buried under a brand new cement patio.

And even after the second girl was murdered,, it took several weeks before the police came back to Weaver’s house and searched the shed. Does that make any sense?

As I said, maybe they needed a child rapist and murderer to distract everyone from what I believe is a wealthy, ruthless gang of professional lucifarian pedophiles and child pornographers operating out of the Willamette Valley, and probably the entire west coast.

While the corporate media and the government want to blame the Russians or the Iranians, we know our media is regularly putting out fake news and reports, posting them across the web. However, those of us who are theorists against criminal conspirators are usually not fooled, even if it works with most of the general public.

So I’m still investigating the accuracy of this, but one report claimed the police took a cadaver dog during the investigation and went to the home of Ward Weaver, but only searched the house and yard. Even though, according to this anonymous report, the dog indicated there was something interesting about the shed, but for some funny reason apparently the cops decided to not search it…and then a short time later, the second girl disappeared.

And going back to the beginning, if “they” had not “conveniently lost” the report his son’s girlfriend had made about being sexually assaulted by Ward Weaver, I would argue both girls would still be alive…

So if our government and corporate leaders are kidnapping, raping, and murdering children, and protecting each other, as I believe is the case, then they would need a alternative villain. They would need to convince and distract the dumb downed public (with the help of Oregon’s highest paid reporter — the righteous asshole himself, John Canzano, and the rest of the overpaid corporate media trolls) into believing their “creepy” neighbor is another Ward Weaver, so they don’t ever get caught. Right John?

In the case of Ward Weaver, they only need to hide a sexual assault complaint and wait until he murders one or two girls (And two is always better than one, isn’t it John?) in order to create an environment of mass hysteria.

As you may remember, when Weaver murdered the second girl, “they” quickly put up this massive billboard near Portland’s busiest bridge with the faces of the two missing children to constantly remind everyone…and keep the public in a state of terror as long as possible (perhaps, as planned).

But manipulating the legal system for those in power against the poor (which is anyone without immediate access to a quarter million dollars in money or property) is business as usual in America.

So, from this third America, I ask, Who are the real violators of human rights in the world?

Over the last ten years, I’ve written about what has been happening to me, to U.S. District Judge Michael Simon twice (and hand delivered copies of these letters to both him and the former-U.S. Attorney, Amanda Marshall), as well as sending out copies to at least two dozen other political figures or law enforcement.

Not surprisingly, none of these indifferent elitists bastards, who are supposed to be overseeing and reporting on Portland’s bullshit consent decree, have ever written back or invited me to testify or be interviewed.

Over the last nine years,every day and night me (and formally, my dog) endure countless electrical assaults from these invisible lasers. I have experienced Hundreds of thousands of physical assaults, including thousands of sexual assaults directed at my genitals and rectum!

Whether I’m inside or out, I’m also being sprayed with something that sometimes smells like poison or raw sewage.

Sometimes they will hurl objects at me and my RV. In August of 2018, someone threw a twenty pound cement block over my privacy fence at me.

Yet, as far as I know, no one has been arrested or prosecuted, and the park manager, Debbie Sleeper, openly tells the police and my neighbors that I’m “crazy!” Meanwhile, the police and the park’s owners are doing everything to make me feel crazy, and react violently — they’re doing everything they can do to shove me off the shelf.

While I go into all of this in great detail in another chapter, here’s why I refer to this RV and Mobil home park as the “Southgate Death Camp”.

It all began when I agreed to buy the RV and Mrs. Sleeper and the RV’s previous owner tricked me into moving my RV to the very back of the park, away from everything. They said I would be a whole lot happier way in the back, and I agreed to move. Ugh…

When I bought it, the RV was parked in Lot 15 which was directly across from the office, the laundry room, the mail room, the community garden, the public bathroom, and only a hundred feet away from the park’s entrance. Strangely enough, they claimed it would be safer for me in the far back. But I almost immediately realized they were wrong, since it was almost impossible to find my way out of the park using only a white cane.

Not to mention how hard it was coming home alone and trying to find my lot, since every spot felt exactly the same unless I went up to the door…which was a really bad idea, thanks to the Portland Police. One day while I was out of town, the cops walked around the park and showed everyone my picture, telling them I was a “dangerous sex offender”, who was pretending to be blind! Apparently, this made a lot of these trailer park people very, very angry whenever they saw me coming up their driveway.

I realize now, I was actually moved to the far back so that “they” could easily abuse me without anyone seeing what they were doing…and maybe burn down the RV without any witnesses.

The fact is, I believe these Clackamas County murdering thugs are behind everything that’s been happening to me. And not surprisingly, it began the moment I threatened to expose my wife’s sexual exploitation of her children, which I write about in great detail below.

And I believe that’s the reason why Detective Marley didn’t take the book of pornography into evidence when he found it in the older daughter’s bedroom, in the early fall of 2004.

I believe taking this book into evidence was critical to not only learning about the current environment all three children were living in, but absolutely essential to protecting their future, not to mention the safety of every kid who already had, or who would, look in this book.

Ask yourself, how would a four-year-old boy, like Abraham, process a picture of a man, who appears very happy about what he’s doing, shoving his penis into the mouth of a woman? Just like his older sisters, how long before he himself would begin to act out the images from this book. A few years later, would he began to explore his curiosities with some neighborhood girl, asking her, or maybe forcing her, to do this with him? Is he even capable at this age to understand the concept of “consent”?

I thought this was the point of investigating our family?

After all, other than god (who knows it wasn’t my idea), who cares if Christel and I did it in some nun’s graveyard in a dozen different positions with the camera rolling and the nuns watching?

But here’s how law and order works in America today, if a cop or DA doesn’t want to know the truth, then they simply don’t ask the question. And definitely don’t take anything in to evidence that would challenge their “conspiracy theory”, about the “evil step-father and the struggling, innocent mom!”

Slowly we began to push our bodies against each other, in rhythm. Then I remember at one point Christel reached back behind her and briefly touched me for a moment. It surprised me since I thought we were going to wait until her daughter went back to her room before we did anything else.

It always felt good the way she would first cup me into her palm, and then start stroking her slender fingers up and down, rubbing her thumb across that soft vain under the tip. As an artist, she had these sensitive, thin fingers and what was the most creative touch you could imagine…up and down, round and round–

I can’t say exactly how many times she touched me, or how long she did that each time, touching and squeezing it gently in rhythm with our hearts. I was torn between this weird, awkward embarrassing feeling and this unbelievably strong desire to tell her how much I loved her. I wanted to tell her how much I especially loved her sweet, secret way of pleasing me, without letting her daughter know what we were doing…or so I thought?

It probably took about five or ten minutes of her gently touching my penis in this way before I realized that very, very soon I was going to lose control of the situation.

My brain was telling me to say nothing, promising that soon I would feel that unbelievable, instant burst of relief that leaves a man gasping for air, and usually seeing stars, even if you’re blind!

When it got really close, I said something like, ‘You better stop’, and giggled, giving her a gentle push away. She did stop squeezing me, but didn’t leave go right away. And I didn’t want her to stop, and maybe she knew this and was waiting for me to beg her to not stop!

It was like trying to slam the breaks on a speeding train, and trying to get the mules back into the barn!

Taking a deep breath, I did everything I could to not let my passion flow from my body into the world….and said nothing–

And it’s true. There was a brief moment there when I just wanted her to continue. I felt like I just didn’t care anymore about anything else other than feeling a completion in what we were doing. I wanted so badly to release the pressure and crank the valve open all the way! Trying to convince myself maybe her daughter wouldn’t notice what we were doing.

Maybe for a moment there I even tried to tell myself that she wouldn’t understand what just happened. And I started to tell myself that maybe she wouldn’t notice or recognize that familiar smell?

And in that one instant I tried to also convince myself that this surging river that was roaring up from inside, ready to overflow the banks, wouldn’t later find its way over to her daughter’s side of the bed, staining her night clothes…that is, if she was wearing any clothes?

But another part of me, a smarter side, a much stronger side, said that kind of thinking was really, really stupid, and extremely dangerous!

I was breathing pretty good from the first moment she touched me. I remember burying my face in the pillow to mask my heavy breathing, but the room was dark and completely quiet and I began to imagine that her daughter was listening to every quick breath I made, and would know what happened if we didn’t stop…RIGHT… NOW!!

Then I imagined her daughter hearing that first gasp of air at the instant the dam breaks lose. It’s an unpreventable reaction, and unmistakable sound that would be hard to misinterpret. And would if her daughter asked me, “Don, are you okay?”

I knew both the girls had watched a lot of R rated movies growing up that included many scenes of love making and I’m sure she would know exactly why I was suddenly gasping for air. Even if she pretended not to know what just happened, but asked anyway, for fun!

At that moment, everything stopped, and a moment later, we reluctantly pulled apart. Rolling away from Christel’s warm, mostly naked body, I heard and felt the two of them climb out of the bed–

Then I heard Christel walk her daughter out of the room and close the door. She returned about five or ten minutes later, and we made love. I never thought much else about that night…until I got the letter she wrote Detective Marley..

But since getting a copy of her letter to Marley, the one question I can’t get past is, why did she put any of this in a letter that she was going to send to a cop?

Most of the letter was pretty vicious and accusatory, but only directed at me, or so it seemed.

But this one admission, admitting that she brought her sexually-curious, eleven-year-old daughter into bed with her naked boyfriend, seemed odd. And it seemed pretty dumb, at first, to write about me getting an erection, and then sign it, and then send it to a cop!

And why didn’t Marley follow up on this written confession? Or did Detective Marley make some kind of a deal with her to say nothing about the letter? It’s not the only evidence he accidentally came across that should have raised a lot of questions about Christel’s own parenting skills and the safety of the children.

Yet the cops and the DA chose to completely ignore all of it?

Like I said, the book of explicit pornography Detective Marley found in the oldest daughter’s bedroom in the fall of 2004.

“Who gave you this book?” He should have asked the thirteen-year-old daughter.

“Has your younger sister or any of your friends seen this book?”

So I’m thinking to myself, maybe it was guilt Christel was feeling when she decided to write this down and send it to Marley. Maybe it was a subconscious need to confess her own bad behavior or her bad intentions, as though he were a priest or rabbi and she needed forgiveness.

I think her daughter knows more about what was happening that night we were in bed, even more than me. As I’ll explain.

Fact is, Christel may have been worried the daughter might tell someone about all of this some day, so maybe Christel needed to cover her own ass, no pun intended.

She may have also been afraid I would bring some of it up at some point in the future, like during our divorce/custody trial, and she wanted to make sure that her version was the one everyone heard first. And the one everyone believed. It’s common knowledge that it’s a lot easier to lie to someone than it is to convince someone that they’ve been lied to–

Why did she need to bring up anything about that particular night? Was it yet another lesson in human sexuality designed for her oldest daughter’s education (and Christel’s own gratification), demonstrating one fun way she might be able to please her boyfriend without risking pregnancy?

This is the way Christel would often think — she would often think about including her girls in her sexual fantasies, as I’ll explain, in explicit detail:

WARNING!
If you’re not over eighteen, or if you’re sensitive about Reading explicit, graphic sexual material, and it does get a lot worse, then you need to skip the rest of this chapter.

Frankly, there’s not any other way in which I can defend myself and fully describe how horrifying it was to be forced into these dangerous, compromising situations by someone I trusted, as a blind person, and what I suspect may have been one or more of the nefarious plans that were afoot–

***XXX***
PART THREE:
As I describe my suspicions, first, I should begin by giving my ex-wife the benefit of the doubt, and try to imagine a possibility where her intent was mostly innocent, although not wise or motherly with regard to the safety of her daughter.

This argument would be even stronger, if we remind the reader about Christel’s extremely sensual, highly sexual nature, and most of her art work reflects this fact. And perhaps it was this part of her which briefly took over her usual good sensibility, with regard to compromising her daughter’s virtue. I would like to think so.

Like, maybe she just wanted to please her boyfriend, who had just moved in, and didn’t care if her daughter suspected we were touching each other in the bed next to her…as long as she didn’t actually see anything.

Maybe in that moment, Christel forgot the daughter’s age and imagined her being younger than she was with very little knowledge about, or interest in, human sexuality.

Or let’s say, would if she knew her daughter knew about what was going to happen when she came to the door, and agreed to say nothing when her mom began touching me, as she watched!

When Christel first pushed her bottom against me, I felt her wiggle her butt a little, but it was enough to let me know she still wanted me… It was a disturbing moment for many reasons, I recall. Part of me thought we were having this secret, intimate moment between us, just waiting for her daughter to hurry up and fall asleep and then be ushered by her mom back to her own bedroom. Hopefully with no complaint or delay.

On the other hand, I was wondering what Christel was doing by bringing her daughter into the bed with me since I wasn’t wearing any clothes, and had an erection. Even if she thought it was only for a few minutes. It was a moment of cognitive dissidence I was feeling.

And that’s what really made what she said in the Marley letter so infuriating! Christel knew I was aroused before her daughter came to the door. Yet in this letter she suggests that I had not become aroused until after she brought her daughter into the bed with us,

Dennis Marley seemed to care nothing about the safety of the girls while he was “investigating” this case since he didn’t ask me even one question about anything in Christel’s accusatory letter. He didn’t ask me one question about the pornography book Christel said he found in the older daughter’s room. It truly seemed as though He didn’t want to know anything about anything that mattered… Hmmm–

Maybe because he knew I would have told him that before this one night, she had never brought either of her girls into our bed late at night while I was sleeping. She admitted in her letter that she knew I was already naked when she did it? She knew I always slept naked, and she had to know this would eventually come out, if the jury was to read her letter about me suddenly for no reason becoming aroused by the presence of her daughter.

The important question now is who else saw this letter before I got a copy in 2007? Did Marley show it to the grand jury?

The history of the wire-bound book of pornography that Detective Marley didn’t take into evidence is as follows:
The book was first shown to the girls in the winter or early spring of 2001. She likely began sharing it with them some time shortly after she bought it from the University of Oregon Book Store with the money she got from the Ford Foundation.

Because of the wire binding, it was a very unique book, in the way it felt. So I know it was usually kept in the living room on a book shelf where I found it sitting many times, both while the family was living in Springfield and Beaverton. And apparently after they moved to West Linn, the book was being kept in the older daughter’s bedroom, where Christel said Marley found it sitting on a shelf. The point is, any one could pick it up and look through it if they wanted.

About a month or two after the girls started looking at the pornography book, a woman who lived across the street on Lawnridge, in Springfield, came over and tried to tell Christel her five-year-old daughter was running up and down the street naked.

I don’t remember exactly what the neighbor said, but I remember that Christel began screaming something at the woman like, ‘WHY DON’T YOU MIND YOUR OWN god damn BUSINESS!’

The following fall The youngest daughter’s teacher in Beaverton asked Christel to come in and talk to her about some incidents involving her daughter acting out inappropriately in a sexual manner. When I asked her about what happened at the meeting, Christel became agitated so I let it drop.

And two years later, in 2003, we began taking the youngest daughter to the Morrison Children’s Center in southeast Portland, as I insisted, because she had made several threats to kill her younger brother, Abraham, including once having described her plans to drown him.

Obviously, the older daughter was also effected by the explicit material in this book of pornography, [purchased with her Ford Foundation money.

Christel told me while they were living in West Linn she caught the older daughter and a friend of hers one day sending out naked, explicit pics of each other, posing both together and separately…

this may have something to do with the older daughter being arrested in the fall of 2005 for assaulting her mother. Apparently, she threw her cell phone at her mother in the presence of her younger sister and brother. This automatically made the assault an aggravated felony.

As usual, Christel’s new friend, a local county judge, came to the rescue and sent a handwritten note to the lady judge who was handling the case, asking her for leniency.

However, by interfering in the legal process (similar to how Christel said he had been interfering in my own case in 2004, did this West Linn circuit judge abuse his power by preventing a desperately needed, closer investigation into Christel’s own bad behavior? Did he prevent authorities from learning how Christel’s sexual beliefs and behaviors were effecting the children, including the judge’s own adopted daughter, who would often stay over night?

That night, I don’t know if Christel’s daughter saw anything, but her letter proves there was a lot more going on than I knew.
So maybe having this sort of pretend secrecy between them about their sexuality was a sort of mother-daughter bonding. Like the book they often shared.

After all, it was what Christel said she learned as a very young girl when her own mother would allow some of her male friends to fool around with her and her sister, while her mother pretended not to see.

When we first met, Christel would often talk about her mothers boyfriends and their friends, and what they did with her and her younger sister. According to Christel, this began when she was about four-years-old, and her mom was still a minor, only seventeen. Christel said that her father was rarely around.

Christel’s father, who’s artistic skills she often spoke of fondly, died of a heroin/cocaine overdose a few years before we met. She wanted our son to be named after him, and I agreed. So we named him, Abraham “Timothy” Wolfe.

although Christel never said much about how his own bad behavior may have contributed to her sexual abuse as a young girl, I have a suspicion that he wasn’t any better than her mother when it came to providing any sort of parental supervision or healthy boundaries. Apparently he was almost ten years older than her mother when they began seeing each other.

Once or twice Christel talked about “breaking the cycle”, but I didn’t realize what she meant…until many years later.

However, this is the forgiving side of me, that wanted to believe that things would always get better for us, and that she would stop playing these unhealthy sex games and stop seeing other men, and lying to me about it–

But because the facts say otherwise, there are a lot of odd things about that night that suggest something else was going on…

For example, I couldn’t tell, but would if Christel had intentionally left the light on. The way her and her daughter walked in and out of the room so quickly, makes me think now that maybe the light was on the whole time? I don’t remember hearing the click of the desk lamp. I can sometimes tell when the light changes in a room, but because of my blindness, unless it’s a really, really bright light, once it’s been on a short while I can no longer tell.

And whether the light was on or off matters because she had mirrors almost everywhere in the bedroom. Hanging on the closet, mounted on the headboard, and across the desk, which was located right next to the bed.

maybe this is why she never pulled the blanket over the two of them, and partially uncovered me when she first reached behind her to touch me? I remember her pulling my manhood out part way from under the blanket and laying it against her butt, as though it were a canon being placed on its raised mount.

She rubbed it a little and waited for me to react, as she, in her own sexy way, often did, and then a moment later, rubbed it again. She did this several times, as the blanket began to fall away.

I assumed Christel’s body blocked any possible view of what she was doing with me, not to mention, I figured it was completely dark in the room. I wasn’t worried about her daughter seeing anything.

Not to make excuses, but I completely forgot about all the mirrors she had mounted around the bedroom.

But if the light was on, then I suppose her daughter might have looked toward the closet or headboard mirror and seen some of what was happening behind her mom’s back, which meant she may have been watching my erection grow as her mom rubbed my penis.

I would suspect, this would be a crime, if a mom knew her underage, sexually-curious daughter was becoming aroused by watching her do this to her boyfriend and did nothing to prevent it. And I suspect it would be an even more serious crime if the mother had planned it in advance — to let her sexually curious daughter watch her fondle her blind boyfriend.

And it may be the reason why Christel felt she needed to include a paragraph about that night in her letter to Marley, in case it came out later that she let her daughter watch?

Maybe Christel told her something before coming to bed like, “It definitely isn’t the same as seeing it in a picture or drawing sweetie-”

That same fall, in the middle of the night, Christel had made this near life-size chalk drawing of me for school, completely naked.

The very next morning she showed both of her girls, as though she couldn’t wait (to excite them), even though she promised me at the time she drew it she would only show it to her drawing teacher, Dennis, and her fellow art students. Especially sense according to Christel, I was shown being partly aroused.

A few days later I overheard Christel and the girls talking about circumcisions, and suspected their question had something to do with the drawing of me she had just showed them, since I happen to be circumcised? It was another weird moment, listening to this–

I overheard Christel saying something like ‘the circumcision helped to keep the man’s penis clean and helped prevent the man from spreading any disease.’

She went on to explain, ‘the circumcision also made the tip even larger which help to make the woman’s “didi” feel good.’

While I imagined her pointing at my circumcision, she told them something like, ‘The larger tip helped to keep the man’s penis from coming out too soon while they were making love.

So the reader understands why this is, as a “recipient” of this accepted Catholic/Jewish practice in many western cultures, I’ll try to explain it in my own words.

During the circumcision the skin of the penis is cut and pulled back, away from the tip. by removing a small part of the skin near the tip.

The circumcision makes the tip more exposed and thereby, more sensitive to touch. For this reason the tip is said to swell up quicker and grow slightly larger than it otherwise would, if the original skin were still covering that part of the shaft.

Although perhaps, the accuracy of this comparison should be debated among women (or perhaps, gay men)?

As a “victim” of what I feel is in actuality a form of ‘male genital mutilation’, I can tell you a little about the results, although I can’t claim to remember the moment it happened.

But if it had to be done (without my consent), I am grateful for having being raised by Irish Catholics, since I do know for sure it was done to me by a doctor in a hospital, rather than having it done in some back room by some “holy” man’s teeth. OUCH!

After the circumcision is performed, a firm, raised ridge just below the tip of the penis, about an inch or two from the tip, where the skin was originally cut is created and becomes more noticeable as the boy grows older.

During arousal the ridge will become firm and will protrude even further as the penis becomes engorged with blood. For this reason the tip and its raised ridge act like a reverse plunger once it passes through the opening of the vagina and is fully inserted into the vaginal canal.

Similar to how I overheard Christel explaining it to her girls, after penetrating the vagina, this way the circumcised penis is far less likely to slip back out through the smaller opening of the vagina until the man ejaculates and the tip of the penis begins to shrink back to its normal size.

Meanwhile back in the bedroom, shortly after she began touching me, maybe two or three minutes later…

It was some time after she brought her daughter to bed with us, I noticed Christel began to lean way forward. At one point laying almost flat on her belly, facing away from me.

I remember this, because I remember thinking something about her body felt strange, the way she was no longer leaning against me but still touching me. That’s when I reached down for a brief moment and felt her wrist and butt, and thought her wrist was at a really odd angle. I kind of remember thinking for a split second, it seemed like a really uncomfortable position to be in while she was touching and squeezing my tip, but I didn’t want her to stop and said nothing.

If she wanted her daughter to see everything she was doing, and the light was on, then it would explain a lot of this. It would explain why she pulled me out from under the blanket and was leaning forward so much while reaching back since her daughter would only need to raise her head a very little to see over the top of her mom.

On the other hand, if it was all planned ahead (to let her watch), her daughter could have piled up a couple pillows when she climbed into bed with us, so she would have a real “good” view of what her mom was doing.

Or would if they had arranged instead that, for educational purposes only, it was her daughter who had stretched her right arm over the top of her mom and was the one doing it? She tells her daughter it’s also going to be a test to see if I would make her stop, if I figured out it wasn’t Christel touching me. Her daughter agrees with the plan.

Meanwhile, Christel tells her daughter she will pretend to have fallen asleep, so she can’t ever be blamed if I figure it out and become angry.

Or what if they just simply agreed to take turns touching me the whole time? Christel gets it started, but then it’s a game. First one and then the other. Keeping me from knowing for as long as possible, is the only rule in this game. And maybe seeing which one could get me to “pop”, was how to win the game! Sounds crazy as hell, doesn’t it?

You see back then, I never considered the possibility that anyone other than Christel would ever have tried to touch my most private body part in our bed. But given all the other nutty stuff that went on around there I probably should have been expecting almost anything from the three of them, when it comes to sex!

To be fair, there is a possibility that Christel really did fall asleep after leaning forward and touching me a few more times, and knew nothing about what happened next, until afterward. She doesn’t mean to fall asleep on me, but she’s really tired and that’s why she didn’t go back to the girl’s room, like she usually did–

I don’t really remember for sure, but it seems like there was a few long moments from some time after she leaned all the way forward and the time when I was touched again. So I suppose that it’s not completely impossible that her curious daughter, who is feeling aroused from watching, could have reached one hand over the top of her sleeping mother and carefully used her fingertips to touch the tip of my exposed penis, without her mom or me knowing it!

Maybe as she’s doing it, she’s watching her mother sleep, hoping she won’t wake up, while she feels my penis grow.

I had no reason not to believe it was Christel’s fingertips fondling me, but the letter to Marley forces me now to wonder. As I try to think about the way it felt at that moment, being explored, In all honesty, I’m just not sure any more…

So here’s a couple possibilities I thought about:
Maybe Christel pretended to fall asleep. She is waiting for (and maybe even hoping ), her daughter will try to touch me, since they had “joked” around about it earlier–

So maybe in a moment of boldness the older daughter reaches over the top of her mom, who appears to be sleeping, and begins to explore my circumcised tip for herself. She knows I’m blind and she figures I would never know, if she were really careful.

And she may have known her mother wouldn’t, or couldn’t, get angry because of all the other stuff that had been going on over the last couple years, even if her mom did happen to wake up and catch her.

So making sure I didn’t find out was her only real concern, and maybe she figures just like what happen on the couch, I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it except make her stop…if she were caught!

Her daughter may or may not know, but Christel is only pretending to be sleeping, enjoying the entertainment. And also hoping I wouldn’t notice it wasn’t her touching me, but she doesn’t want either of us to know she’s awake in case her daughter gets caught!

Or as I said earlier, maybe before they came to bed they made an agreement to let her daughter do this with me as long as Christel can pretend to be asleep. Christel says, “I’ll get it ready for you, and then pretend to fall asleep. then you take over, but be really careful and only touch it very lightly with your fingers, the way I showed you. If you try to use your whole hand he might figure out it’s not me.”

Earlier that evening, let’s say, ever since her little sister went to bed her older daughter’s been sipping on her mother’s wine and asking non-stop questions about sex and circumcisions, and as they start thinking about bed, Christel knows their both feeling aroused. So Christel tells her daughter to wait fifteen minutes. And wile she can’t make any promises she will try to set it up so that her daughter can see, or maybe even explore with her fingers, an actual circumcised penis (“for educational purposes only”, she jokingly tells her), as long as the daughter promises that “No one will ever, ever find out!”

The older daughter agrees. She’s excited, since she already told her mom ever since the time on the couch she’s been thinking about it.

And since she just found out her mom was pregnant, she’s been wondering to herself about what it would feel like to have a baby growing inside of her…with “those pretty blue eyes–”

After all, her grandmother was barely twelve-years-old when she became pregnant with her mom.

Maybe she’s feeling a little buzzed, and not considering the long term consequences when she begins gently squeezing the tip and rubbing it. Then for no reason, she begins using her fingertips to wipe off some of the fluids…which is what it kind of felt like–

The first few times that night I know for absolutely sure it was Christel’s hand touching me. So it is a little troubling as I think back about it because I do remember that the person who was touching me didn’t begin to wipe off the tip until some time well after Christel began leaning way forward.

So, by pretending to be asleep, Christel could claim some plausible deniability if I suddenly figured out that it wasn’t Christel’s hand that was touching me.

Maybe after taking her daughter back to her room, she says, “Don, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I must have fallen asleep and had no idea she would try something crazy like that! But we can’t tell anyone, okay, or we’ll both be in big trouble. Right?”

What can I do, so I agree to this code of silence, once again.

Then maybe a couple months later we find out her daughter is pregnant, and her daughter confesses to the police about what she did after her mom fell asleep. She claims in her version her mom knew absolutely nothing about nothing. She says it was completely her idea, on the spur of the moment!

After some encouragement from the police, the older daughter agrees that it’s very possible that I may have known the whole time it was her touching me, and not her mom. She admits she did it for a wile, first just briefly touching me for a moment and then leaving go. Waiting to see what I would do. Each time she holds on a little longer–

She doesn’t know why, but then, with the same hand, she started touching herself too. She says she wasn’t trying to get pregnant, but maybe she did think about it a little. She can’t remember.

She doesn’t know how long or how many times she did it. But maybe she tells them she didn’t stop until she heard me say “stop”.

After a little more coaching she agrees, with the lady officer, that I had to have known that it was her fingers touching me…

And when the tests prove the baby is mine, what could I possibly say to prove I always believed it was Christel touching me in the dark that night, and no one else, other than that’s exactly what I thought…until I had read her written confession to Detective Marley and began to wonder–

The fact is, the night my girlfriend brought her daughter to bed, I really had no absolute way to know absolutely for sure who was actually touching me without touching the rest of the arm of the hand that was touching me.

And I had pretty much forgotten all about the crazy incident on the couch two months earlier; I had forgotten about her daughter’s previous brazen, eagerness the afternoon she unexpectedly jumped on my lap, wrapped her naked legs around me, and repeatedly pressed her young naked vagina against my crotch (while her mother watched), and wouldn’t let go!

That night in bed; At the moment when Christel and I were squeezed together, I would have never imagined in a million years that she would ever just lay there and let her daughter touch my naked penis, but I realize today that when it comes to sex, absolutely anything was possible in this family. Including the possibility that I might have even co-starred in several “soft child pornography” short films and never even knew it…

But let’s start over. To be completely fair, as I said earlier, Christel may have not known anything about what was happening until the moment when I may have woke her up — at that moment when I began to feel that strong, familiar urge to ejaculate, and wanted to warn her before it actually happened.

Because why? Because I knew her daughter was in the bed, and I didn’t want her daughter to know we were fooling around. Otherwise, obviously, I would have done nothing until it was over–

Before this, while I was being gently touched — about five or ten, or fifteen, minutes, both of my hands were resting against Christel’s shoulders and my face was mostly buried between her head and the pillow (to mask my heavy breathing).

And if I think back about it, Christel never did actually say anything wile “she” was touching me? That is, until after I told her to stop and gave her a little push with my hand–

All I know is that someone kept squeezing the tip a little, moving their finger tips in a circle under and around the tip, and then stopping to wipe some of the semen off. Or at least, that’s what it kind of felt like.

I had found a carefully carve carrot around this same time among Christel’s art supplies And it’s possible that Christel had used it to show her daughter where the penis was the most sensitive and how best to touch it. It would explain the unusual touch and the odd angle of the wrist I briefly felt.

And it might also better explain what happened when I whispered in Christel’s ear to stop. And maybe her daughter heard me tell her mother to stop?

As I said, at the time the fingers that were touching me paused but didn’t leave go. If it were her daughter’s hand that was touching me instead, she may have been told to make sure I ejaculated before stopping, and was waiting for her mother to tell her what to do next.

Or if it were entirely her daughter’s idea, she may have been waiting to see if her mom woke up before leaving go? Who ever it was, seemed like they didn’t want to stop, and I sure didn’t want “her” to stop..

I know if “she” had only paused for a second or two and then kept going, in all honesty I’m sure I would have just waited a few more seconds and let it happen, figuring that if Christel didn’t mind then I guess her daughter was asleep and it was okay.

In truth, at that moment I wanted nothing else, but as I said earlier I felt obligated to warn Christel, simply because her daughter was in the bed with us.

So maybe this is what happened. Christel really is asleep. But she wakes up and suddenly sees her daughter’s arm reaching over her waist, and after a moment figures out what had been happening while she was asleep.

Or if she’s pretending to be asleep, maybe she looks at her daughter and shakes her head to say no. After what seemed like a long moment, as though they were deciding what to do, who ever it was quickly let go.

I remember, it kind of made me feel sad, since I was probably expecting at the very least a slow, gentle squeeze goodbye from Christel, assuring me that “We’ll finish this later”—-

A few moments later, the two of them got up together, without a word, and quickly left the room. I remember, it was all very odd…

Then maybe, when their all alone, her daughter tells her mom what she was doing — she tells her she was exploring my circumcision , just like they talked about doing, earlier. And, when her mom doesn’t get mad about it, she also confesses about what else she did (with my fluids) after her mom fell asleep. But she doesn’t know if I know it was her touching me.

Before her mom has a chance to get mad, her daughter reminds her about their agreement about sex, and tells her ‘This was all your idea mom’ (like the naked lap dance and the family baths)!

And what can her mom really say about any of it, so they make a plan…

Maybe the plan that they agreed to make, and the reason Christel needed to tell Detective Marley part of the story in her letter, was to make sure she blamed me first in case I ever said anything about this night. This way they are able to keep the rest of her daughter’s secret, a complete secret?

And since I never mentioned it again (because I never gave it much thought), Christel figures I’m clueless to the fact that her daughter had been the one touching me (and then maybe also secretly touching herself). This family seemed to have a lot of secrets…

But consider this, could I have kept this information from my probation officer and my therapist and passed six polygraphs (including what’s called a two hour “full history polygraph”) if I knew this? That is, if I knew my soon-to-be oldest step-daughter had once touched my naked penis for several minutes while we were laying in bed together (and one or both of us was completely naked), and her mom was sleeping between us? I can assure you that If I knew anything like this, This ‘lie by omission’ would be impossible to completely ignore during a polygraph, let alone six of them. Here’s why-

So you know, one question that is always asked of every RSO during every polygraph is, “Have
you been completely truthful with both your PO and your therapist since your last polygraph?” For the record, RSO’s assigned to treatment are required to spend the next twenty-four months attending weekly group sessions, along with attending at least one individual session each month with both their therapist and PO.

[Polygraphers: Joe Garcia, Dari York, and Jim Sharmota, 2005-2009]

Besides, if I had any complicity in anything like this, seems like I would have said nothing until it happened. Why in the world would I want “her” to stop? Then if Christel woke up, I would only need to pretend I was sleeping and must have had a wet dream.

Maybe I would say, “I was having this dream about us honey. We were naked and on this deserted beach…”

And if anything like that had happened, don’t you think Christel would have included the fact that I had also ejaculated while her daughter was in the bed with us in her letter to Marley, rather than just complaining about my unyielding erection?

So it’s possible, Christel and her daughter may have planned this entire evening together, like the incident on the couch.

There was a few different times when Christel would disappear from our bed just after we made love. I just assumed she was going to the bathroom, but she never came back to bed. The next morning she said she was checking on the girls and fell asleep in their room, but now I can’t help but wonder if she went in there for a different reason.

Did her daughter ever wonder why her mother was climbing in to bed with her in the middle of the night, or did she just wake up in the morning and find her mother sleeping next to her?

Is it unreasonable to wonder, did Christel sometimes go into the girls room just after we made love to make sure some of my fluids got on her daughter’s sheets, or somewhere else that would be incriminating, and difficult for me to explain?

Especially, if I never knew she had kept this “evidence”. And then later the police presented it to a secret grand jury, with a lab report confirming it was my semen that was found on one of the older daughters panties.

It certainly would explain how the hell they were able to secretly indict me for a “Measure 11 Offense’ (with a 6.5 year minimum sentence) for allegedly ‘touching the older daughter’s breast in a sexual manner’. Even though (as her school pics prove) SHE DIDN’T HAVE ANY BREAST at the time!

If Christel had some sort of incriminating evidence like this that I never knew about, it would explain how they were able to demand a quarter of a million dollars bail, which they knew I could never afford?

As these writings prove, without access to my screen access technology, I was completely helpless and at the mercy of the Washington County’s unscrupulous prosecutors and the indifferent public pretender, Gregory Sholl.

I know we were all excited about Christel being pregnant, and even actually began talking about their mom having another baby for months before she became pregnant which happened sometime around November of 2001.

In the beginning, I know for absolutely sure it was Christel touching me. And I’m pretty sure it was Christel’s fingers touching me every time that night, and would have never thought there was any other possibility…but, the truth is, when you’ve been aroused for awhile, it starts to feel a little numb, and almost any sort of friendly contact down there feels pretty good, even if once and awhile its your own hand doing the touching (with a little Lugar Marquis)!

I do know that if Christel had left the light on, and had a video camera running, a ten or twenty minute film showing an almost naked mother and her young naked daughter taking turns stroking the fully erect penis of a sleeping man almost completely covered by a huge blanket would probably be worth a whole lot of money in the child porn business, which I understand is a flourishing industry here in the Willamette Valley, and along the entire west coast.

Or even “better”, imagine someone was making a video of a mom, pretending to be asleep, laying next to her naked daughter who is touching the erect penis of a man sleeping under a huge blanket.

Then the camera shows this developing, very attractive young girl, without her mom knowing, removing something from the man’s tip and then moving her fingers down, between her legs, leaving the viewer to imagine what she’s doing. Now that kind of child pornography would probably be priceless, even if the mom and daughter had been staging all of it.

Or imagine someone is secretly video taping what almost happened, while her daughter may have been watching. Christel is going to aim my penis toward her daughter just as she feels me begin to ejaculate! And that’s the exact way it was pointed, and what almost happened, if her daughter had raised her head and was looking over the top of her mom while her mom was rubbing me.

Yes, of course, this is a disgusting thought; the thought of A mom giving her young pre-teenage daughter a pearl necklace from her mom’s boyfriend for Christmas!

Fact is, when I knew her, Christel was a sex maniac, and pearl necklaces was something her and I did together many times. Once she told me that it was the most sexiest thing I could do when we were together.

Afterwards, she liked for me to rub my semen into her skin, saying it was good for her complexion.

So it’s not beyond imagination that she would want to share this sort of exciting adult experience with her oldest daughter, similar to what she said some of her mother’s boyfriends did with her–

Then who knows what would happen next, if I lost control and sprayed her daughter with my fluids? Would they both start laughing hysterically and run out of the room, and jump into the shower or tub? And then call me into the bathroom to join them?

Just like this one time all three of them tricked me when the oldest daughter said, “Don, come here and look at this.” As I walked out of the bedroom, her oldest daughter took my out stretched hands, turned them over, and then slowly and carefully placed my fingertips on each of what appeared to be her own nipples but were instead the nipples of a stuffed sports bra she was wearing!

At first, I ignorantly took her serious and willingly stuck out my hands, thinking she was handing me something really, really fragile, something that she didn’t want me to drop (which was partly true).

Then she, her mother and younger sister all laughed garrulously! Ugh-

So the reader understands how the grooming process works, here’s a good example of how this early “encounter” should have went (if I had wanted to keep playing in these sort of reindeer games):
After fondling the nipples of the bra for a few moments, I say something flippant like (to distract her mom from reacting, just long enough), “Would you excuse us ladies.”

Then maybe in one motion, I pick up the older daughter in my arms and carry her back into the master bedroom, quickly locking the door (before her mom can react)!

Then maybe, I tell the older daughter, “Let’s play a joke on your mom!” She agrees.

I tell her to go over there and sit on the bed and start yelling, and moaning, “OH YES! OH DON! OH YES!” And I tell her to not stop until her mom unlocks the door, while I go over and sit down by the computer.

So, a few minutes later, when her mom finally gets the door unlocked and sees us, and sees nothing’s going on, we all have a great big laugh.

Except I’m thinking the next time, maybe when I get the older daughter to play one of these “games where I carry her into the bedroom and lock the door behind us”…it’s not just a silly little game, and I’m hoping that mommy doesn’t worry about unlocking the door…until it’s way, way too late!

There were lots of opportunities when one or both of the girls were running around the house or apartment naked and their mom was totally, and completely distracted.

Meanwhile, back here in reality. About one point two seconds later, as soon as she took her hands away (and I realized the joke they just played on me), I instantly let go of her fake nipples, and did nothing else.

Like I said, I could have easily played along and pretended she was a mature young woman, as her and her mother apparently wanted me to think?

I could have spent a long minute or two feeling the entire cup, and maybe given each nipple a quick kiss. Then I could have slipped both of my hands inside of her bra and rubbed her bare chest for a few moments, and I’m positive no one would have minded!

I’m sure they would have all laughed, even louder! Since this is the kind of “play” that was fairly normal, for this family.

And maybe while this is happening, her mother is thinking, “So what’s wrong with letting a blooming young pre-teenage eleven-year-old girl, who is beginning the change and who is obviously in touch with her own developing sexuality, do what she wants to do. Including, compassionately letting my blind boyfriend gently rub her emerging nipples?” As mom joyfully watches (and is able to capture this special family moment on film for all of eternity).

I said nothing, at the time… But for the record, I told the DA, Bob Hermann, and Detective Dennis Marley all about this particular incident in a certified letter I sent them six weeks before they arrested me for an alleged Measure 11 Offense,

according to the indictment, I was arrested for having allegedly once touched my step-daughter’s breast in a sexual manner, apparently sometime in 2001 or 2002–

As far as this incident goes, and as far as I know, the older daughter may have been wearing nothing more than panties and a bra when it happened?

Or it’s possible, the older daughter may have been wearing nothing at all, other than the sports bra I briefly touched (while Christel may have snapped a picture, unless she had set up her video camera in the hallway before hand).

Christel loved the arts, including photography. And her younger sister performed as an extra in several Hollywood movies, including the original ‘Adams Family Movie”. So who knows…

Shortly after we began seeing each other, her daughters told me, and she confirmed this later, that their mom had a crush on the guy who acted in the movie, “If you could see what I hear.” They said that I apparently reminded their mom of the actor, Marc Singer, who played Tom Sullivan in the movie. Although, their mother insisted his name was Rutger Hauer. But maybe it was just the dark glasses, or the idea of having sex with a “blind guy”?

So I have to wonder, given everything that went on, did she ever share this “blind fantasy” with her daughters?

Here’s something else about my relationship with Christel that’s a little weird, as you read more about my story, and how I’m being terrorized every day by the police, and others.

When we first met, she said her favorite movie was “A Beautiful Mind”, and she said her favorite song was “Wicked Games”. If you’ve seen the movie, and you know the lyrics of this song, you may understand that there’s a real possibility that almost everything you’re reading in this book about my life may have been pre-arranged…

So keep in mind, it’s very likely I was specifically picked out long ago because of my Extra-Ablism, and Christel was just another useful pawn along this crazy journey (in this wicked game).

What may have triggered this, was because my face appeared in the local paper the previous spring for beating up some punk who jumped a lady friend, who was also blind, and me. It was the second front page Register Guard article about me that had been published that spring, and I know there were more than a few people associated with the governor’s office and the Oregon Commission for the Blind who weren’t happy about it…

Maybe some day we’ll know why they would want to play such a wicked game on such a beautiful mind. Believe it or not, long ago I used to be a really nice person who wanted nothing more out of life than to sit around and play folk songs on my guitar, read Scholastic paperbacks and collect baseball cards, before this all began.

Did someone want to use me to make a explicit “family” movie or two with Christel and her “frisky” daughters?

Was someone wanting some sort of black mail evidence…as long as I didn’t find out, until later. This way, anything I might say about these crazy people and their wild sex lives (while locked up and dressed in orange) would only sound like a lot of sour grapes from an obvious “child molester”?

Here’s what makes this part of this whole apparent set up suspicious, and why I think Christel’s sister may be involved..

Shortly after Christel told me her version of her older daughter’s allegation, which I’ve never heard myself, she sent her daughter to California to stay with her [Christel’s] younger sister, Raymie.

Meanwhile, Christel and Detective Marley arranged to have her daughter’s (well-coached ) allegation secretly filmed by a local company (of raging feminists), called Northwest Cares. Apparently their videos are used to prosecute mostly straight men.

I would argue their own (self-promoting and well-edited) videos of my step-daughter proves that they are intentionally manipulating the truth for their own financial gain, which is illegal, and probably criminal. Here’s the proof–

Sometime that fall, apparently against her wishes (according to Raymie), the older daughter was specifically flown back to Portland early to make a special video for the grand jury about what I allegedly did to her. Apparently it’s a video that interestingly doesn’t include anything about her mom constantly beating her and her little sister with wooden spoons, or any of her mom’s other bad behaviors, such as:
1. Bringing her into the bed with her naked boyfriend;
2. Letting her get naked and straddle her blind boyfriend while he’s sitting on the couch;
3. And telling her to get naked and get into the bathtub with her and her boyfriend.

This has all been well documented in this chapter, yet wasn’t included in any of the material produced for the grand jury by Marley and Northwest Cares.

The propaganda film fraudulently prepared by Northwest Cares includes nothing about her mom’s love for photography and pornography, as well as her practice of filming her kids while they are naked in all sorts of questionable situations…

But this isn’t the only government funded entity who is using our tax dollars to work against us straight American men, who can’t afford a private lawyer.

After Christel filed for divorce, I went to Legal Aid of Portland, and they agreed to take my case. However, a couple months later they informed me, by mail, that their office would soon be merging with the Eugene office and would no longer be able to represent me since they claimed my wife was being represented by Legal Aid of Eugene. This was a complete lie!

Since my wife’s new boyfriend had hired a private lawyer named, Michelle Bo Victor, I knew Legal Aide had nothing to do with her case. And since I had no legal representation, and they were able to have me arrested on an unsubstantiated probation violation to keep me from attending the trial in Eugene, it proves just how truly deceitfully united these modern American feminists have become, where the truth doesn’t really mean anything. Only winning matters–

Wouldn’t it be reasonable to ask, how many American men and their families have had their lives destroyed by feminist-controlled organizations like this, such as Legal Aid and Northwest Cares?

And maybe to set her daughter up for the filming of the scene she briefly described to Marley, Christel first did something like this:
Maybe, during one of Christel’s special lessons (that she seem to always want me to over hear), she explains to her older, sexually-curious daughter about what men and women sometimes do for fun together, so the woman doesn’t get pregnant, called a “pearl necklace”.

She tells her daughter, this is a good and fun way to have sex with a boy without any risk of catching a disease, as well as not getting pregnant, or having to put his thing in your mouth if you don’t want to.

She quickly carves up a carrot and gives it to her daughter to practice. Using her own fingers, she shows her curious daughter exactly where to place her first and second finger, “Right here sweetie, just below this ridge,” and shows her where the penis is the most sensitive and how to best rub it to make the boy ejaculate.

“First put your thumb on this side and then gently move the tips of these fingers in a small circle. Then move your thumb the same way. that’s right, up and down, both across this vain and then back up under the ridge. And as soon as it starts to get a little stiff it will already start releasing millions of sperm, so be careful.” They both laugh. “You know, it only takes one of these little buggers to make a baby!” They laugh again and hug.

I would imagine that a healthy parent’s worst nightmare would be to learn that their pre-teen daughter is pregnant. So, is eleven to young for a mother to openly discuss this sort of a subject (with all the explicit details)?

Perhaps it would be okay, in the context of keeping her safe? However, most of the conversations I overheard having anything to do with sex never seem to include a lot of information about what would be age appropriate.

There was rarely a day when her or one of the girls didn’t mention something about their “didis” in front of me, a term of endearment the girls and their mom, and grandmother, all used to refer to their private area, which I assume included the vagina and clitoris.

So if what happened that night was supposed to be some sort of advanced lesson in human sexuality they had pre-planned together, maybe Christel told her daughter what she was planning to do and asked her if she wanted to watch, or maybe help?

She explains, her daughter could watch as long as she absolutely promise, “hope-to-die”, to say nothing if any of my fluids got on her, which was very possible.

Her mother explains, “Sometime sweetie, it goes everywhere!” The older daughter sort of understands, or maybe understands perfectly.

Maybe Christel reminded her, “it’s critical that you don’t say a word or make a sound, and don’t you dare scream, when it happens” so I didn’t ever know her daughter had been watching, or was the one actually doing it.

And maybe, so that I never figured out that her mother had given her the detailed instructions she needed to get away with it.

“I’ll be in way big trouble if anyone ever finds out that I let you do this,” she says. Except in Oregon, If I knew what I know now, I could have told her back then that as a woman, she had absolutely nothing to worry about. And maybe she knew in the back of her mind, the Ford Foundation and their powerful friends from Marylhurst would take care of everything, as they apparently always do for their young ladies?

Is this all starting to sound really creepy? Sadly, given Christel’s past behavior of always being the victim, both real and imagined. It is a real possibility that using her to destroy my credibility may have been the plan from the very beginning. And possibly long before Christel and I ever met–

Using all sorts of sexually explicit tools, like books, drawings, Hollywood movies, and sculptures (and a few vegetables) I often over heard Christel teaching her daughters about sex. So using me for a few live demonstrations, while she filmed it all, isn’t beyond her thinking, as I may have discovered.

I remember the three of them once sitting on the couch looking through the same book of explicit photos that Detective Marley left behind (who apparently decided, along with Greg Olson, to keep this evidence away from the grand jury).

While I have never actually seen any of the pictures, based on what Christel described to me, the photo book (with no text) showed this same couple having sex in dozens of different positions.

While they were all sitting on the couch, I heard them discussing the pictures, and I heard the younger daughter asked something about why the couple was doing it in so many different ways? And if you think about it, it was a fair question to ask from a six-year-old.

I listened to Christel explaining to her girls why– She said something like, this made the woman feel good when the man changed the way his penis was rubbing against the inside of her didi.

In retrospect, maybe I should have thought a little more about how her older daughter would process this sort of information, but I do remember thinking with some alarm about how her younger daughter would react to hearing anything like this at that age.

By then, there had already been several serious incidents which raised red flags about the younger daughter’s mental and emotional health, and her tendency to often focus on this particular topic [sex] during conversations with both adults and other children her age.

When I asked her mom about this later, and if this was a good idea to share so much information about human sexuality with them, especially the youngest one? Christel told me that she felt since the collection of photos were all taken of the exact same couple making love, and this Australian couple was also married, it wasn’t considered to be pornography, but rather a form of art. Since I couldn’t see the pictures, it made sense, at the time-

As I mentioned, in the fall of 2004, Detective Marley picked up this same book he found in the older daughter’s bedroom but chose to not take it into evidence. As far as I know, he didn’t ask Christel who gave her daughter the book, or who else had seen it.

I know for sure at least three of the daughter’s girlfriends had also looked through it while we lived in Beaverton. And apparently, after moving to West Linn, the book was also viewed by the thirteen-year-old adopted, mentally-challenged daughter of a Clackamas County Circuit Judge, Douglas Victor van Dyk

Without his wife, Judge van Dyk would often bring his daughter by my estranged wife’s apartment to stay the night. Apparently, the judge’s daughter would sleep over night in the same exact bedroom where Detective Marley found the book of pornography. And, I do know the book was readily available to any of the kids who wanted to look, regardless of their age.

This same detective told me that because my oldest step-daughter had made a few cuts on her body that this meant that I had probably been molesting her, and apparently told the grand jury this, who voted to indict me.

Obviously he never mentioned the book of pornography her mom gave her, or the sports bra her mom had her put on and than trick me into touching. And curiously, he apparently also failed to mention the letter he got about Christel bringing her older daughter in to bed with her naked, sexually aroused boyfriend!

What is interesting is that around this same time in the fall of 2004, my wife told me she had seen Judge van Dyk’s daughter once when she got out of the shower and told me this young girl had dozens of cuts all over her body.

Does this mean Judge van Dyk was molesting this pretty Asian, disabled girl who apparently he specifically selected for adoption?

Obviously it doesn’t prove anything! ?But apparently, it was okay to use this same sort of “evidence” against a poor, severely disabled person to obtain a secret indictment (and demand a quarter million dollars bail)?

And why wasn’t my wife indicted for even one crime in 2004?

Did Christel have a right to educate the judge’s daughter or any other kids from the neighborhood with this sort of explicit material by making it readily available to all of them? Even if Judge van Dyk knew and didn’t mind, did any of the other parents know, or approve?

And most importantly, is there any sort of professional or official obligation on the part of Detective Marley to take the book into evidence, finding an explicit book of pornography in the bedroom of a thirteen-year-old girl while presumably investigating an alleged sex crime committed against this same girl?

If he was protecting the mother by not taking the book into evidence, wouldn’t this at the very least be considered to be professional misconduct?

I will confess, when Christel got it from the university book store in the spring of 2001. We spent most of that day in bed as she slowly describe and with my full consent, used me to demonstrate many of the photographs. So I have a pretty good idea about what was in the book.

There is another possible explanation about what happened that night. Maybe her daughter knew absolutely nothing about nothing of what was going to happen. This is what I would like to believe. Although there are other possibilities. And it may be those possibilities that explain why Christel first had me arrested, and then painted this less than flattering depiction of her older daughter (the alleged victim), while I was being held by Washington County in solitary confinement (apparently because I was “so fast” and I had an alleged “dangerous marijuana addiction”.

Did you get this from the government’s 1937 propaganda movie, “Reefer Madness”, Sheriff Gordon?

Over the past four years, Christel had painted dozens of paintings for school. Yet, for her senior art project she decided to submit a painting she just finished called “Doppelganger” to the Portland Tribune of her oldest daughter. I would imagine her advisors at Marylhurst (Dennis somebody and John French), knew the background behind the young girl in the painting, yet apparently said nothing to discourage her from using it.

It would seem, at the very least, her Marylhurst advisors would have thought about protecting her daughter’s identity. Not to mention the obvious implication that the painting suggests to the viewer about the character of the subject…questioning the young lady’s voracity–

If you look, the painting clearly suggests to the viewer her daughter isn’t who she appears to be. I have always wondered what was Christel trying to say when she first painted this, as the mother of this victimized child? And I’ve never questioned the fact that both girls had been victimized. Except, it wasn’t me who ever abused their virtue or innocence.

So what was she thinking about when she picked this painting? Was she worried about her daughter telling something else about what happened that night in bed, with her mom’s naked boyfriend.

The May 2005 Portland Tribune article was advertising the Marylhurst University Spring Art Festival to be held at the school Art Gym. The painting Christel picked out showed her daughter looking down into the water, with an obviously dishonest face looking back at her.

Ask yourself, why would any mother choose to publicly humiliate her daughter at this critical time in her life? I can certainly understand why Christel painted it when she did. I suspect she must have been feeling some tremendous guilt, knowing her blind husband was locked inside of a small cement room…while she remained free–

But what made Christel decide to publish this particular painting? Especially when you consider just a few weeks earlier, according to the State of Oregon (after obtaining a coerced plea bargain), her daughter was legally defined under the law as being a “child victim”. Yet, her mom’s painting clearly suggests that she is lying about something?

Maybe it’s because Christel knew her daughter was lying about what happened that night when her mom brought her into bed with her and her boyfriend?

So, I have to wonder. Does the Pamplin Corporation or the Portland Tribune investigate any pictures or paintings it publishes simply for copyright reasons, if nothing else? Clearly they knew it was a painting of a young girl looking extremely deceitful, for some reason…

As I said, like the letter to Marley, was this another seed Christel was carefully planting to cover her tracks just in case her daughter decided to tell about what she knew.

Maybe her oldest daughter knows that her mom had been using the girls to set me up, by leaving out a few important details, with a little help from her good friend, Judge van Dyk, who was coincidentally (and perhaps, conveniently) serving on the Clackamas County Domestic Violence Task Force at this same time.

While I realize that some of what follows is considered to be hear say’, there’s some good evidence to suggest Christel’s new friend may have tried to kill me in 2004 to cover up the true nature of their relationship. I’m not sure if that was intended, but I do know Judge van Dyk’s 2004 campaign manager, Marcus Abrams is an extremely shady lawyer who works for the State of Oregon and Alpha Media, and has a long history of being a “legal thug”…

Here’s what happen, you decide:
It is my understanding, the police were dispatched to Christel’s apartment in West Linn in the fall of 2004. Apparently, a call was made shortly after midnight from the residence of Clackamas County Circuit Judge Douglas van Dyk to the West Linn Police which compelled two officers to go to my wife’s apartment and wake her and the kids up.

According to Christel, and her youngest daughter confirmed most of this later, the next morning shortly after midnight two police officers from theWest Linn Police Department showed up at her door with their guns drawn. She told me that the police told her Judge van Dyk had called them and said that he suspected her husband was molesting her oldest daughter.

Despite that apparently Christel and her daughters told the police I wasn’t there, they insisted on searching the apartment with their guns at ready.

Apparently,Christel must have turned off the ringer when she went to bed, and the Judge claimed his daughter was unable to reach Christel’s older daughter, and they became concerned for her safety.

What is most revealing about this, is that Christel said the police didn’t know I was blind, Can you imagine if I had stayed over night at my wife’s apartment, which I had every legal right to do, and came wandering out of the bedroom to see what was going on?

So imagine, the police walk into this apartment where a young girl is allegedly being molested by her step-father, and they see this guy wearing nothing but running shorts coming toward them. He looks like he’s on some kind of drugs (because he’s completely blind). And despite that they have their guns pointed at the man’s chest, he’s still very quickly coming directly at them!

How do you suppose the police would respond to this scenario? Was Judge van Dyk (and Marc Abrams) setting up my murder that night?

Why in hell would he tell the police that he suspected I was there molesting my step-daughter? I hadn’t been there for days. The judge should have known his position of authority would automatically trigger an aggressive response from the local police.

Was it really because his daughter couldn’t get through on the phone? Seems like a pretty extreme reaction (and allegation), especially coming from a sitting circuit judge who had absolutely no evidence, doesn’t it?

Since then, have Abrams and van Dyk then using their power to justify or cover up the judge’s over reaction?

Since the judge had brought my step-daughter home from his house just a few hours earlier, it doesn’t seem likely that his adopted daughter would be overly concerned about not getting through on the phone at this late hour, on a school night?

And really, why didn’t this judge bother to tell the police that I had a significant visual impairment? Several of Christel’s E mails to my PSU account suggested he knew a lot about our family,and our struggles. And in fact, she said in one particular E mail that she believed ‘the judge may be manipulating the criminal investigation against me’.

Curiously, she referred to him in her E mails as “Judge van Daggot.” She said it was based on his pointy nose and how it reminded her of the character in that comic strip. Obviously, I have no way to know what the judge looks like, but it would be curious to see if this observation is accurate, since it would seem to add some credibility to her other allegations of “tampering” in my case.

As further evidence of the judge’s familiarity with our family and my blindness, he invited my step-daughter to a 2004 campaign rally held at his West Linn home. Guess who else was there?

Apparently, around this same time Judge van Dyk or someone else also got the county’s child protective scum to send Christel a letter telling her I was no longer legally permitted to visit my son, anywhere, because I was under investigation. We ignored the letter and I continued to regularly visit him at Christel’s apartment until “they” had me arrested in early January of 2005.

As the next two chapters in this book describes, two years later the State of Oregon would formally end all possibilities of me ever having a healthy relationship with him while he was a minor…

So back to the Marley letter–

Let’s say, maybe her daughter knew nothing and innocently asked her mom to come to her room and lie down with her. They did this fairly often. But instead, Christel says something like ‘how about if you first try to fall asleep on your own. But if you can’t, knock on my door in fifteen or twenty minutes.

When her daughter knocks and she answers the door, instead of taking her back to her room, Christel gently grabs her daughter by the hand and pulls her into our room, putting her finger to her lips while pointing toward me, who appears to be asleep (as the camera continues to roll).

Then she and her daughter climb into the bed, and Christel quickly helps her daughter get undressed. A few minutes later Christel begins to touch me. She is hoping I will also start touching her, although she hasn’t exactly decided what she wants to happen next…she thinks ‘we’ll just play it by ear’.

As she’s touching me, she becomes more and more aroused thinking about it. She begins to lean forward so her daughter can see exactly what she’s doing, like they talked about.

And maybe, as she’s touching me, and watching her daughter watch what she’s doing, she starts to imagine how many different ways the two of them can have sex with me, similar to one of the threesome fantasies Christel and I talked about–

She’s really hoping I would start touching her. And if her daughter weren’t there with us, that’s what I’m sure I would have done. But I didn’t–

And maybe the reason I didn’t start touching Christel at that moment, was because I have no doubt she would have quickly lost control of her sexual inhibitions. And then, all Christel’s pretences about pretending that she didn’t want her daughter to know what she was doing with me would be gone! And then what do you suppose would have happened next?

So as we’re all laying there in bed together, maybe the older daughter is watching her mother touch me and still feeling a little shy. But she can’t stop watching! I’m blind, and I don’t know she’s watching. So she thinks it doesn’t really matter if she’s watching what her mom’s doing.

So one evening, after Christel gives her younger daughter some benedrill, her older daughter and her are alone, sipping wine and talking about sex, as Christel sometimes like to do with oldest daughter when they were alone.

So maybe during one of these semi-private conversation the older daughter starts to tell her mother a little about what she’s been feeling, sexually, ever since that time on the couch. And maybe she’s feeling a little buzzed, and also bravely tells her mom that she once thought about what it would be like to “do it” with me. Her mother tells her to never be embarrassed by these thoughts and feelings.

And maybe she jokingly tells her that she agrees with her taste in men, and says this is perfectly normal for a young, maturing woman to have these sort of sexual desires and fantasies about her mom’s boyfriend.

maybe Christel is thinking, by telling her daughter this, it will help encourage her daughter to experiment with me, sexually, some time in the near future–

As Christel is touching me, and her daughter is watching, and they are both pretending that the daughter’s not watching, she begins to think about how her own mother, would sometimes watch her out of the corner of her eye from across the room, while some sick male friend of a friend of her mother’s was having his way with her at some acid party!

The experience gives her a warm, tingly feeling of togetherness, as she watches her daughter watching her fingers sliding round and round…

Once wile I was spending the night at Christel’s apartment in Springfield, Oregon, I remember hearing the girls laying in the hallway, bumping up against their mom’s bedroom door one night.

Despite my blindness, whenever I walked upstairs at night I could still tell Christel had this massive bright light in the hallway, and now I think there was probably a lot more light shining under the door and lighting up the bedroom than I knew.

I asked, “Christel, do you hear the girls out there in the hallway, listening?” It made me nervous, hearing the sound of their voices so close, since we were completely naked and uncovered, and had done all sorts of things together and had already made love before I noticed the light shining under the door.

She said, “Don’t worry they can’t see anything.”

The next morning I felt the door and discovered there was at least a three or four inch gap between the floor and the bottom of the door. I realized the foot of the mattress, which was laying on the floor near the door, must have been fairly visible to anyone who was looking under the door because of the bright light behind them.

In fact, I would imagine the youngest daughter’s head could have probably fit part way under the door, if she wanted to get a “better” look!

I wondered how Christel couldn’t have noticed this huge gap. And I probably should have wondered why she didn’t get out of bed and cover it up when I told her about my concerns about our need for privacy.

Did one of her boyfriends and her intentionally cut the bottom of the door (so the girls could get a better view)?Obviously, she didn’t care that both of them may have been watching us (from about two or three feet away), and very likely vicariously watched me perform cunnilingus on their mother?

One other time in Springfield, I thought I heard the girls climb out of their mom’s bedroom closet in the middle of the night and quietly sneak out of Christel’s bedroom. So it wouldn’t surprise me if they were hiding in there once again watching everything we were doing.

So, under this one possibility, afterwards, I imagine I’m feeling a little Embarrassed that her daughter might have heard something we were doing, but I quickly fall asleep anyway, not grasping the seriousness of the situation.

Then, let’s say that after both her daughter and I fall asleep, not suspecting anything, Christel begins to carefully wipe off my partially dry fluids from her nightie, butt and thighs, and begins to rub it on her sleeping daughter, underneath her daughter’s nightgown and across her private area. Neither me or her daughter have any idea about what her mom is doing while we’re sleeping.

And the fact is, it is very possible that, as I said earlier, her daughter, innocently, may have not been wearing anything at all when she climbed into the bed with us. Christel could have planned it this way where she gets her daughter to quickly slip off her clothes, with a little encouragement, like the first time she got her and her sister to get naked and jump into the tub with her mom and me. For the record, I was always wearing swimming trunks or running shorts when the girls were around, except this one night in bed that Christel wrote to Marley about–

While Christel and me were in the tub together this one time that fall, I remember, she yells “Come on girls, get in with us!”

A few seconds later the younger daughter runs into the bathroom and eagerly strips off her clothes and jumps in.

Then about a half minute later, the older girl comes into the bathroom, and despite her mom’s encouragement, she says “I don’t want to, mom.” Christel then firmly orders her to take off her clothes and get in the tub with us. A moment or two later she quietly complies and slips into the tub next to me; I felt her naked thigh brush against my right leg as she climbed in, and then move to the other side of the tub…

Wouldn’t you think any young girl at this age who knows their body is changing, and they are becoming a woman, would be a lot more shy than this around their mom’s boyfriend?

And wouldn’t you think most young girls, being put in a compromising position such as this by their own mother would say something like this, “I’m not going to get naked and get in that tub with you and your boyfriend!” and rhetorically scream something like, “Are you crazy mother!”

But instead, there seemed to be a silent, secret message exchanged between them during that moment — some sort of agreement, that made it impossible for her daughter to object in any way at such an outrageous request from her own mother.

And did she have to make sure I knew she would do what ever she was told, even if that meant getting completely naked and climbing into the tub next to me.

It could have been my imagination, but she may have intentionally brush her naked leg against me when she climbed in so I would know?

I have to wonder, did she have to let me know that she had done exactly what her mother told her to do?

With a certain look, was her mother saying something at that moment like, ‘Remember, I know what you want… You told me? So you better do what I’m telling you to do, if you ever want it to happen.’ And the older daughter silently complies, and takes off all of her clothes, including her panties, and climbs in the tub with us.

I suppose, it would have probably been very easy for me to reach under the water and run my hand across her butt and between her legs while she was slowly gliding past…

But I didn’t touch her, and actually pulled my hands back a little when I felt her climbing in next to me, so I didn’t accidentally touch her.

Exactly how many times it happened that night, I don’t know. But more than a few times; “She” touched me with her fingertips and briefly rubbed the tip, and seemed to remove some of the fluid, and then let go.

Then maybe, if it was Christel, very casually (every time I feel her leaving go of me), she quickly runs the tips of her fingers down across her daughter’s new peach fuzz, and then across the lips of her daughter’s exposed vagina, and then gently tickles her there. Her daughter shyly smiles, thinking her mom is only teasing her about being naked, and in the bed with us, exactly as they joked about earlier.

Perhaps, Christel is secretly hoping her daughter will become pregnant, without knowing how it happened. Or who knows, maybe her daughter knows exactly what her mom is doing, and is letting her mother do this, as they agreed, hoping she will become pregnant.

So let’s say, her daughter is completely naked when her mom tickles her didi. The daughter believes her mom is playing another game with her, since after all, she is secretly in bed, naked, with her mom’s boyfriend, who is also naked! Very exciting for a young girl, she thinks to herself, not realizing her mother is trying to impregnate her.

I know it all sounds crazy, but since Christel just learned she herself was pregnant (and more horny than ever), I can tell you that around this time her boundaries were even lower than usual. So maybe Christel, or both of them, decide it would be really, really exciting if they could have a baby together (with me as the father).

All four of us were really giddy when we found out Christel was pregnant, and after that, that’s all the four of us ever talked about!

“What fun it would be if we were both pregnant with Don’s baby!” maybe She jokingly tells her curious daughter one night (who is just beginning to bloom), who only laughs about it, not knowing her mother is intentionally planting a dangerous seed deep in her mind.

There may be some important facts about the family that have attributed to this sort of thinking. For example, along with her second daughter’s father, several of Christel’s mom’s boyfriends later became her lovers, including her first and third husbands.

And the sister of her previous boyfriend, Rick, was once married to Christel’s first husband, making Rick’s two boys her youngest daughter’s cousins, which I think would make Rick the great uncle or maybe the second cousin of Christel’s youngest daughter? It gets real confusing, the more you know…

Just so it’s clear, the older daughter is not related to Rick’s boys by blood, since it’s possible there may have been something sexual going on between one of Rick’s boys and the oldest daughter.

So, maybe this has something to do with the crazy cycle Christel claimed to want to break…but maybe instead, decided to get me for threatening to expose her curious games in the spring of 2004.

She had just dropped me off at my Lake Oswego apartment when I had finally lost my temper. I had been steaming all day.

Christel, without telling me, had suddenly decided to begin weaning our son the day before. I knew right away it was only because she wanted her breast to fill up with milk before she had her Ford Foundation picture taken (apparently for the horny wealthy men who use these pics from organizations like this to select their next mistress, or bimbo, or another “coerced” intern).

Abraham screamed all night, crying and begging for his mother’s milk, but she never gave in, as you can see from the pic! And if this wasn’t enough, Christel even had the mordacity to mention something in one of her letters to the DA or Marley about how I had embarrassed her by not shaving for the Ford Foundation graduation Luncheon.

So back to our “hot” night in bed! Let’s say, while the three of us are in bed together, the older daughter has no idea what her mom did, getting her pregnant when she briefly tickled her didi that night while she was falling asleep. But she notices her pants don’t fit as well and she is starting to put on a little weight waiting for her first period.

Then Christel secretly stats giving her pregnancy tests under some other pretense, saying it’s for a drug test instead, and gets her to pea in a cup. Once Christel gets a positive test, she tells the police that she thinks I am the father. I am arrested, and when the baby is born, the test prove she was right, with only one reasonable explanation as to how it happened!

But maybe when she realizes about two months later that her daughter isn’t pregnant, she comes up with another plan to get me out of her life, so she can keep the baby, and all of her secrets…

I have no way of really knowing until its too late when this crazy stuff is going to happen, and often found myself in these odd, uncomfortable situations with her and her naked daughters, in the tub, the bed, or once when I was sitting on the couch.

It was probably what had happened that afternoon, when Christel later realized that she had crossed the line, which is what I believe may have motivated her to start thinking about doing something about this problem…or maybe at least, getting a little “security” to cover her ass!

And as I said maybe that’s why that night before she came to bed she told her sexually-curious daughter to wait about fifteen minutes, knowing I would already be naked and fully aroused by the time her daughter came to the door, and if she planned it right, ready to ejaculate (with only a little encouragement needed)–

PART FOUR:
It was in the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday when it all began. I now believe Christel, and maybe someone else, may have encouraged the girls to take off their clothes, then take turns jumping on my lap. When it happened they were facing me, with their legs spread apart. Looking back, it seemed as though someone had told them to wrap their arms around my neck and ‘hold on as long as they can, no matter what!’

Maybe their mom, or someone else says to them, “I think we need to really test Don, to make sure you girls are safe around him. What do you think about this idea?” And they agree.

And maybe she says, “I’ll be right here, just in case, but let’s see if he tries anything with you sitting on his lap like this, if he thinks I’m not watching.” And maybe she tells them, “That’s why we need the camera, in case we need to prove it later.”

And to get them more motivated, maybe she also says something like, “It’ll be so funny, won’t it!” They agree and laugh!

Except, since the older daughter’s hormones have recently begun to awaken, and she has begun growing fresh hair near her didi, her body becomes even more excited than her much younger sister by the idea. The idea of being so close to her mom’s boyfriend , wile she’s completely naked…

“Remember girls, there’s no audio, so you don’t need to make any sounds. Just take turns, and stay on his lap as long as you can. And try not to let go.” And they both nod their heads and agree.

**************************************
Imagine if you were the producer filming this and writing the script:
“Honey, you need to take off your underwear too. I promise, we won’t show your face while you’re pretending to have sex. And don’t forget, when this all comes out you’re both gonna be movie stars, like your Aunt Raymie!” They jump up and down, agreeing to take off all of their clothes.

In order to get the best shot of their naked bottoms, the producer places the camera on the floor about five or six feet away, directly across from the center of the couch. He tells the mother to stay behind the camera, so it appears she isn’t home while this is going on.

After turning off the audio, the camera is turned on and the younger girl is given a pre-arranged hand signal to begin.

From this angle, the viewer can only see the back of the girls’ heads and their naked butts as they are running toward the couch.
Each takes a turn jumping onto the lap of a (very, very good looking) grown man sitting on the couch. From this view, each of them can be seen bouncing their naked butts up and down with their arms and legs wrapped around him.

And while the man is trying to pull their arms from around his neck, they are leaning their heads back toward the camera, the viewer can see that by doing this they are forcing even more direct contact between their bottoms and the man’s crotch, which excites the viewer even more.

The film is deliberately slowed way down by the producer, making every movement appear even more sensual and deliberate. From time-to-time the film pauses and zooms in for five or ten seconds (at the “perfect” moment)–

The viewer can’t tell whether or not the man has an erection or whether or not the fly of these skimpy shorts he’s wearing is open or closed. Although the angle of the camera from time-to-time provides the viewer a good shot at most of the girls’ exposed underside, including the older girl’s fuzzy little pubic hairs.

This means, from this angle the camera doesn’t really show if he’s actually having vaginal intercourse in this extremely intimate position with either of the girls, although the viewer can tell both of the girls are obviously completely naked, slowly bouncing around on his lap, creating the impression that maybe there’s something going on–.

the viewer doesn’t know the man is blind. So it appears as though he’s wearing shades to hide his identity from the camera while having sex with these two young girls. And one of them appears to be only about six-years-old!

From this angle the girls face and breast are not visible. For this reason, The older daughter appears as though, and behaves in a way to suggest, she is older and probably more experienced than she really is- So the eager viewer concludes from her behavior, (as well as her rounder butt and pubic hairs) that she has most likely been sexually active prior to the filming of this scene.

Then at one point in the film, in what seems to be the final scene, the older girl is seen collapsing against him, in total exhaustion, burying her face into his neck and shoulder.

To the viewer, who is watching intently (and maybe masturbating), the film creates the appearance that the older girl and the adult male have been having sexual intercourse , exactly as it was intended to do. This final scene re-enforces the idea, if the viewer had any doubt.

The scene is left entirely to the viewer’s imagination as to what has or hasn’t been happening?
************************************

When the girls jumped on my lap they wrapped their arms and legs around me, locking their arms behind my neck and wrapping their legs around my waist. Then they began wrestling with me, unintentionally sliding their butts forward and back across my crotch, while they pushed down (simulating a sexual act)…while they laughed.

Any reasonable person, like a jury, would have to ask how could a mother let her daughters sit naked on any man’s lap with their legs spread wide apart, and wrapped around the man’s waist? You might say, for them, it was probably similar to being in stirrups at the Gynecologist’s, waiting for a vaginal exam.

Was their mommy using me and my “stethoscope” on this lazy Saturday afternoon to play doctor?

It seems strange that a mother who would sometimes beat her daughters with one of these wooden spoons (purchased by her with the Ford Foundation money), wouldn’t react violently by screaming at them and grabbing their arm (or hair).

For example, there was this one time when Christel, me, and her youngest daughter were shopping at the WallMart’s on Beaverton Highway. When Christel grabbed a pack of wooden spoons off the shelf, her daughter began screaming, historically.

“PLEASE MOMMY! I’LL BE GOOD, I PROMISE MOMMY! plese don’t!”

To anyone watching it should have been obvious, as Christel and her daughter wrestled for control of the spoons, why this little girl, barely five-years-old was panicking over her mom buying a bag of wooden spoons. They must have thought for a moment about what happen to the last bag of spoons?

So, is it reasonable to think, their mother had to know by sitting on my lap in this way it would force the lips of their exposed vaginas to open wide, forcing even more intimate contact between our parts, unless maybe that’s exactly what she wanted to happen?

Much like she said her own mother did with her and her sister, getting the girls to do exactly what Christel wanted wasn’t unusual, sexual or not. For example, around 2004 she had each of the girls throw the gold wedding band and the diamond engagement ring I gave her into the Willamette River, somewhere down by Oregon City.

This is why I suspect Christel was responsible for this incident. She was often so easily able to get them to do these crazy things, like maybe taking off all of their clothes, jumping on my lap and then getting them to pretend to have sex with me while she films it.

As I recall, one of the photos in the book of pornography the girls carefully studied showed this exact same position. The woman was facing the man and sitting on his lap, having sex, while he was sitting on a love seat.

I will confess, and Christel knows, this is one of my favorite ways to make love to a woman. And I would say it’s the most intimate position a man and woman could assume to make love. How could their mother not see how this looked?

What made sitting with the girls in this particular position even worse was that I was born with what I once heard from a partner unscientifically being called a “frontal mount”.

This is very personal to talk about, but important to understanding the situation.

Apparently in this case, a frontal mount means my scrotum, which includes the penis and testicles, is located slightly more forward than what is apparently considered to be normal for most men.

For this reason, not only does it cause the tip of my penis to protrude more than most men, especially when I’m aroused, when I sit down to urinate I have to push the tip down so I don’t spray myself.

And if I’m wearing clothes, apparently sometimes it appears (perhaps, to the wishful mind) as though I have an erection when in fact I don’t!

Ironically, this is one of the reasons I changed my last name, after getting a nasty E mail from the Oregon Commission for the Blind’s female Assistant Administrator “mocking” my previous last name to sound something like what you would call an erect penis.

So it’s perfectly clear, the main reason why I decided in 2002 to take Christel’s last name was because I wanted Abraham, Christel and me to all share the same sir name. Christel explained she wanted to keep her last name, which she got from her first marriage, because she was already a “recognized artist”, in Oregon and liked the way it sounded (but didn’t care how we spelled it).

So I printed out a copy of Linda Mock’s E mail and grabbed my birth certificate, and went down to the Washington County Court House and appeared before one of the lady judges, although I don’t remember her name. With Christel’s help, we filled out the forms and before the afternoon was over, I had legally changed my name to match hers, with the exception of one letter (as we agreed ). This was just prior to us getting married, in the summer of 2002.

After we were married, Christel then changed her drivers license from “Wolff” to “Wolfe”, so our last names would be identical when Abraham was born, as you can see from his Oregon birth certificate–

[BORN: Abraham Timothy Wolfe
DOB: August 26, 2002
Gender: Male
COUNTY OF BIRTH: Multnomah County, Oregon
MOTHER: Christel Lynn Wolfe
FATHER: Donald Ray Wolfe]

So maybe you’re asking, why would the Assistant Manager of the Commission for the Blind send a male client an E mail from her government account that began, and that she knew my screen reader program would pronounce as, “Dear Mr. Bonor”? That seems kind of reckless for the soon-to-be head of a state agency, doesn’t it?

But not in Oregon since she’s a woman and the law regarding sexual harassment here doesn’t apply to most “females”, and with the rise of neo-liberalism I predict this practice will soon be coming to a jurisdiction near you.

As men, most of us were raised to practice shivery, and always protect the “weaker” sex — which naturally pitted men against men in defending the honor of all women. However, today we are constantly being unfairly accused of all sorts of sexual indiscretions, while at the same time we’re being told that to ever question the veracity of any female accuser, when an allegation is made against us, is sexist. You may be surprised to know, in some states radical feminists are working to make it illegal for any man to question their accuser in a court of law, even if the accused defendant is indigent and is representing themselves, rather than putting their life in the hands of an over-worked, often exhausted, indifferent, public defender.

So, American Men better wake up to this new double standard that has been created by the criminal injustice system. It’s time for men to turn off all the fake, useless sports crap, and get informed. And the best way to do it, is to join some sort of group that fights for the rights of men and fathers, and if you can, support them financially…before it’s too late! And something like this happens to you–

So back to my precarious situation, being mounted by two young, overly-excited, naked girls, while their mother gleefully watched!

I was sitting on the couch, carefully listening to some useless fake ball game when the girls took off their clothes and began to take turns jumping on my lap, as their mother sat a few feet across from me (and perhaps, video taping all of it).

And who knows, maybe after showing the police this suggestive video she tells them she wasn’t home when it happened.

She says, she kind of remembers when it happened. But after coming home from school she must have turned off the surveillance camera and then started making dinner, and completely forgot to watch it, until now–

Although, I would think an unedited video would have clearly shown I had no part in planning, encouraging, or participating in any of what went on.

This all reminds me of the case involving Father Israel Bein, who was obviously filming alter boys in Washington County while they were urinating in his church bathroom (and maybe another individual who apparently had the right Catholic connections?

Many suspect Bob Hermann intentionally protected this Filipino priest by first not taking his passport when he was caught lying, and then by only charging him with a misdemeanor, so that he wouldn’t be pursued by the F.B.I….while the State of Oregon has, and still is, allowing its deputies and police to torture a completely blind man with these invisible weapons while he is trying to sleep!

So now I have to wonder, was Christel being paid by someone with some connections to the catholic church or the Washington County’s DA Office to produce child porn while she was living in Beaverton?

Here’s the interesting part of this story. Both my wife and her mother had converted to Catholicism when she was a teenager, living in Ohio. Christel said she converted when her mother was living with this catholic guy named Scot for a couple years, who she said she really hated because he was so strict. Many times she talked about all the different things her and her sister would do to get Scot and her mother to break up, which eventually worked.

And then, Christel talked about how her mother had once had an extended affair with a Jesuit priest. It was weird, but I could almost hear the excitement in her voice when Christel would talk about her mother’s affair, which she often did.

One day in 2001, after dropping me off at this costume store in Eugene (because Christel decided to keep her $300 costume, and say it was stolen), she went to Father Marks office at St. Mary’s, where I met her a little while later. As she privately spoke with Father Marks, I waited in the outside office with her younger daughter and a dozen pink roses (sense I could tell she was very upset that day).

I learned about a week or two later from Christel that Father Scott from St. Mary’s had been transferred by Father Marks to a parish in Beaverton. At the time, I hadn’t made the connection, and why she needed to speak with Father Marks that day.

Then a week or two later, Christel told me she was dropping out of the University of Oregon (and going to lose almost a year’s worth of credit hours). She decided to transfer to Marylhurst University, which she said was a catholic school located just south of Portland.

The exact relationship between Father Scott’s transfer, and her own sudden transfer to Marylhurst, and then both of them ending up in Beaverton, is not exactly clear, although it’s obviously not just a big fat coincidence either.

Rather than moving any where near Marylhurst University, which is located half way across Clackamas County, Christel got an apartment in Washington County. The apartment was located in Beaverton, just down the street and around the corner from Father Scott’s new parish. Of all the luck!

Not to mention, her “ex-boyfriend”, Rick, had also recently moved to Beaverton, and was coincidentally, also now studying computer science in Portland (just like me). Go figure?

Earlier that summer, after I gave Christel a diamond engagement ring, one night I could never get a hold of her. She admitted, she had turned off the ringer and that her and Rick had been together. When I asked her more about it, she explained it this way–

She said he came to her duplex in Springfield late one night while she was sleeping. Then she said, since he still had a key, he came in and “raped” her. Then the following day, she and her girls went with him and his sister, and their kids, to a 4th of July fireworks display in Springfield.

When I learned about it a couple days later, I encouraged her to file charges against him, she started saying that it wasn’t rape, but more that he had pressured her in to giving him a “farewell fuck”!

Then shortly after she moved to Beaverton, one morning we found a note on her car that she said was from Rick. After she refused to read me the note or give me a copy, we got into a big fight and broke up.

and so, because of how much she was “afraid” of me, she said she decided to had Rick stay with her a couple nights. But to her credit, she also said she had him sleep on the couch the entire time and they never, ever did anything “sexual” (like the last time he showed up).

So when we got back together, a week or so later, she told me that she had decided to throw away her birth control pills, which I found in the bathroom trash, right where she said they would be. And surprise, surprise, we found out she was pregnant (with my child) a short time later–

While I don’t know for sure, if there was anybody encouraging the girls to do all these sexual things around me, and sometimes with me, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that either Father Scott or Rick were deeply involved in all of this mischief. Here’s why.

For example, it’s very possible that Rick knew that one of his boys, who were both more than three years older than Christel’s oldest daughter, were experimenting sexually with her, while Christel and him were upstairs. In fact, I would be shocked if there weren’t something sexual going on between the older daughter and one of the boys, given the circumstances described later in this section. You decide.

This means, Rick had a lot to lose. He had made all sorts of explicit material available to all the kids, including the youngest daughter (creating a sexually charged environment). and maybe he knew that he could be charged with contributing to the delinquency of several minors.

Additionally, he may have also known that he and Christel could also be charged with being accessories to the rape of a minor child, if either of his boys had ever done anything sexual with Christel’s oldest daughter, even once. As I said, they were both more than three years older then her.

So maybe it was in both Christel and Rick’s best interest to get the sexually-active older daughter to have some kind of sex with me, at least once. Maybe they thought, this would make anything involving the boys seem fairly miner, since after all, they were still minors..

However, I would argue that because of the book her mother gave her, and the pornography available on the computer, both Rick and Christel appear to have been, intentionally or not, grooming the older daughter to be interested in sex ever since they met. By providing the opportunity, and environment, they would be accessories to anything sexual that occurred between any of the minors who were staying in Christel’s home

So, it all began that afternoon when the younger daughter came running down the hall — running right past her mother, and hopped on to my lap and tightly wrapped her arms and legs around me and grabbed my neck. As I was pealing her hands away, she began leaning back, which caused her to grind her butt into my lap.

We struggled for a little bit, as she continued to laughed. Then I pulled her hands free and lifted her into the air and off my lap, just as the older daughter, who was also completely naked, unexpectedly came running down the hall.

as a woman will try to ignore what’s happening to her and still become moist when she’s being raped, Similarly, I would imagine this small amount of direct contact with the younger daughter had probably already caused the tip of my almost naked penis to begin to respond. If true, I didn’t think about it or notice it and sat back down.

Her mother may have giggled but said nothing to reprimand her after I pulled her off my lap, as her older daughter ran past her mom and jumped on to my lap…and fell forward against me, and I suspect our genitals briefly touched.

Instinctively, I reached out to grab her so she wouldn’t fall backwards. As my hands fell across her back side, my conscious brain suddenly realized she was also completely naked, and I quickly let go.

In that first brief instant when my hands brushed across her back and my fingers briefly touched her naked butt, I also immediately realized her bottom side and hips were a lot more round and filled out than I knew, and that she wasn’t the little girl I had imagined.

A part of me has to wonder, because I’m blind, if she simply wanted me to see how pretty she was.

You would be surprised how often women will push their bodies up against me, or just come right out and ask me if I “want to see what they look like?” And sometimes, they don’t even ask before grabbing my hands…

Throughout these writings I have tried to offer evidence of how many times I could have been a willing participant in these crazy sex games. And it’s true, when the girls weren’t involved I often did, like the time Christel and me rented a tandem bike and pulled off the bike trail into the woods for a quickie, as people were walking and riding bye.

And it wasn’t always overtly sexual. One evening in the summer of 2001, we took her blue Dotson to Autson Stadium. Christel and the girls screamed, as I raced the little car back and forth across the empty parking lot, at full speed.

So, given my own natural healthy enthusiasm for adventure, in this situation I could have easily left my hands right there on the older daughter’s butt. Then I could have quickly pulled her lower half closer to me, while protesting aloud–

So, rather than reaching back and grabbing her hands, as I did. I could have just kept my hands on her backside and started wrestling with her, pretending to object to her closeness, while perhaps moving her into an even “better” position.

Instead, back here in reality, instantly both of my hands dropped to my side! I remember looking in the direction of her mother, and giving her a questioning look, like, ‘What’em I supposed to do now’, since it appeared her heavier ,and more determined daughter wasn’t going to leave go of me and get off my lap on her own?

As a healthy male, you can bet a secret signal was instantly sent to another part of my brain, about what was happening. However, in those first few moments I know my conscious brain completely ignored any thoughts of having a naked pre-teenage girl (and her round butt) firmly sitting on my lap, facing me, with her naked legs wrapped around my thighs!

So, right in the beginning, I mistakenly thought it would be best to just ignore the problem until it went away, or her mother screamed at her, like she usually did when the girls did anything wrong.

This usually worked around there, when I knew the girls were doing something to deliberately annoy me. It didn’t take long to realize waiting for her, or waiting for her mother to tell her to, go away wasn’t going to work. Hmm…

As most people know, even before the breast begin to develop, when a young girl’s bottom begins to fill out this is the first sign that her body is entering into womanhood, and potentially, motherhood? And as we all should know becoming a mother only takes a split second of direct contact between one single sperm and the female egg while she’s ovulating, even for an eleven-year-old.

A chemical signal is sent out to every sperm in the neighborhood during ovulation, chemically instructing it as to how to find the waiting egg. And if the genitals of one or both participants are exposed, they may have no way to stop this natural biological process from occurring, once their genitals make contact.

While I have no way of knowing for sure, and I never checked, I’m pretty sure based on what I overheard the older daughter had already begun growing some pubic hair; By the fall of 2001 I knew the older daughter was experiencing hormonal changes in her body.

While it’s true, all mothers should teach their young daughters about their developing bodies, and how to care for them, I think Christel went way, way to far. And when I threatened to expose her following the Ford Foundation Luncheon in 2004, Christel used it against me–

Since the older daughter had already developed clear visible signs, such as pubic hair, it’s possible she may have already had the ability to ovulate when this incident on the couch took place. If true, and it seems like Christel would know (and it sure seems like there’s no way she couldn’t have noticed her daughter’s new pubic hair), it should have been obvious to the mother of this developing young pre-teenage girl the risk she was letting her daughter take by placing her naked, maturing vagina so close to, or touching, the barely covered penis of a healthy, mature male!

In the beginning, her naked butt was sitting on my bare thighs. And it was slightly closer to my knees then my crotch. And her arms and legs were loosely draped around my neck and waist.

In truth, believe it or not, it wasn’t a total shock to find Christel’s older daughter naked, sitting on my lap. Although it was a little embarrassing, especially since she was facing me and I could feel her uncovered bottom sitting on my thighs. Not to mention, this entire time her knees were wrapped partly around my waist, trapping me between her thighs.

If a mature woman had gotten naked and surprised her blind lover in this same exact way, you would have to agree this entire scene would be incredibly romantic and sexy! Is this why her mother laughed? Because she thought it was so cute?

Not to make excuses, but seeing someone’s face does really matter in the spur of the moment. Sighted people would tell you that seeing is always an advantage, but I can tell you that’s not true. But in those first moments, obviously it helps to have that additional information as the brain processes the situation and decides how to best react to any sort of physical contact with someone, unless the two people have already been intimate.

Imagine you were completely blind and you were suddenly grabbed by someone. The grip is tight and it may be a robber preparing to strike, and it’s more frightening because they’re saying nothing aloud, but instead it’s a deaf man who knows I’m lost and only wants to help.

At that instant, when you don’t know, do you fight or relax. It’s not so easy to decide anything quickly and know how to best respond when you’re completely blind. No matter who You are, you have to first gather enough information to know what’s best…

For me, it was a true moment of cognizant dissidence, having a naked, friendly not so little female body sitting on my lap, facing me, with her naked legs wrapped part way around my waist, and her arms wrapped around my neck.

By this age, the older daughter’s bottom half wasn’t a whole lot different than several of the mature women I have known intimately in my life, and made love to many times in this same exact position.

Before this, the older daughter and I had only hugged or once and awhile held hands while we were all walking around the mall or the grocery store.

I knew the girls would run around the house naked since I would sometimes hear their mother playfully scolding them about being naked. But until this one afternoon, I had never had any direct contact with them wile they weren’t wearing clothes.

Although, there was this one time when for no reason they came and sat next to me while I was sitting on the couch. There was one on each side of me. Then they began leaning into me, and I began to suspect they weren’t wearing clothes, although I never touched them.

Then a half minute later, they both burst out laughing and ran away. I can only imagine how that particular pic or video must have looked to Bob Hermann’s ruthless Grand Jury?

So now I have to wonder, was their mother also filming them while they were running around naked…and maybe hoping I would reach out and touch them as they slowly ran past?

There were lots and lots of opportunities where I could have “accidentally”, or intentionally, fondled the girls butts or didis, and who knows, maybe that’s what a part of them wanted me to do. But I never did, other than this one afternoon on the couch, when I could feel their naked bottoms bouncing on my lap, and I can’t lie, I could definitely feel them pushing their naked didis up against my crotch, although my reaction at the time was to ignore it.

Here’s the hard truth. Despite all the previous playfulness, from that very first instant when the older daughter decided (or was encouraged) to take off all of her clothes, including her underwear, and jump on my lap so I could “see” all of her, our relationship changed.

And after she jumped on my lap, and then wrapped her arms and legs around me, and then moved her naked bottom even closer and began wrestling me for control, the nature of our relationship changed forever. Here’s why-

When she first jumped on me and fell forward, with nothing more than a very thin piece of cloth separating our most private body parts I would imagine our secret places briefly touched. So while I ignored it, and my brain tried to focus on the game, my body immediately knew our genitals had made contact, and probably began to respond, physiologically, like it or not.

As I said earlier, we know any amount of contact between the genitals of a male and female under the right circumstances can not only cause one or both of them to instantly become aroused, it can also result in the creation of a fertilized egg. In fact, neither the male or the female need to be aroused, or the vagina completely entered, for the female to become pregnant.

If she were wearing clothes when this happened, and had jumped on my lap sideways, or only sat still, this wouldn’t be a real big deal, although certainly not appropriate for any young lady who was already entering puberty, and womanhood.

But instead, she first willingly took, or was encouraged to take, off every bit of her clothes, including her most private and protective piece of clothing, her panties!

Since I was wearing shorts, and had she been wearing at the very least underwear or swimming trunks, I’m sure it would have felt different then it did, sitting naked on my lap with her legs spread apart and our genitals bumping against each other. Even if I had inadvertently become a little aroused by the feel of her softness rubbing against me, as I did, it would seem very unlikely that any of my fluids, which are naturally released by the male body at the very start of any sign of being aroused, could have ever had even the slightest chance to enter her vagina…and ever had the chance to impregnate her, as I now must consider her mother may have been hoping would happen.

She intentionally, or was encouraged to, place her body (and exposed vagina) against me in the most intimate way possible, as though her or her mother, or someone else, planned it this way. And a moment later, when she moved even closer and began pushing in to, or on to, me, I discovered she wasn’t the shy little girl I had imagined, or at least not any more

From that very first moment, to anyone who would have been watching, it was obvious that our genitals appeared to have touch. So knowing her daughter was completely naked and I was only wearing a pair of thin shorts; which in all possibilities could have already popped open one or more of its flimsy buttons while I was pulling the girls off me; or could have had a small amount of dried semen on them from the night before when Christel and I were making out on the couch.

Her mother should have put an end to it. She should have immediately pulled her off my lap. Instead Christel only made it worse by giggling at my obvious embarrassment and confusion over what to do?

I would imagine I must have looked completely dumbfounded when this was happening. And this apparently only made all of them laugh more–

A few moments later when I reach back to unhook her arms and lift the older, heavier daughter to her feet, she grabbed on to my neck a little tighter, sliding her bottom half closer. At the same time she leaned her head back, which forced her lower half into me…

So, despite that I was wearing a pair of nylon shorts, I know at this point our bodies were definitely touching in the most intimate way possible, as her mom watched–

If it’s not obvious, here’s the problem with her mom doing nothing. Inadvertently, at the moment the older daughter moved closer to me the opening of her completely naked, completely exposed, and possibly ovulating vagina was now resting directly over or against what was already probably the beginning of a small erection!

Based on her age and experience (which I’ll explain better later), any of this sort of physical contact with almost any man (or teenage boy) I would bet would cause any normal young girl around this age, to quickly also become aroused by the feel of a male penis touching her didi.

And if we wanted to be completely honest, she probably began to feel aroused at the very moment she pulled off her panties and thought about exactly what she would do when it was her turn. Because of all these new raging hormones rushing through her young body, I would imagine the feeling of being naked and waiting for her turn to climb onto my lap, would very likely cause her body to react physically, whether she wanted it to or not–

So, to my surprise she didn’t get up, but just stayed right there with her arms wrapped around my neck, sitting on or against my unusual protruding anatomy — sitting on me in the most intimate way possible, until I was able to remove her from my lap, about a minute later.

Until now I hadn’t thought much about her own physical or emotional reaction to what was happening, and what it likely meant, but here’s what I think happened.

I remember, her head and body swayed forward and back while she was struggling with me, tightening her grip around my neck, and laughing. At the same time, when she leaned her head back her bottom pushed into me forcing even more contact between us. Because of the way her legs were spread wide apart, it’s not surprising nothing good would come from this situation…Yet her mother said nothing, just kept giggling, and apparently watching out of the corner of her eye, as maybe she promised she would do–

As I said, the only thing separating our most private body parts was a extremely thin piece of slightly damp, nylon cloth, which if I think about it now, probably wouldn’t have felt much different than if I had been wearing absolutely nothing at all!

Whenever she stopped moving, gravity and the downward pressure of her larger and rounder buttocks naturally forced me to begin to slide into the empty valley somewhere in between her fleshy bottom; Each time it seemed to draw me in further, as I felt her pushing down.

And as I began to feel her soft underside begin to firmly settle on to and around me, I tried even harder to pull her hands loose. I suppose, I was still expecting Christel to tell her to get off my lap! But she said nothing? Except to giggle more–

But there may have been something else going on in the oldest daughter’s mind at that moment…something that she may not herself have consciously been completely aware of, regarding the natural desires of her quickly maturing body-

That is, knowing what I know about several of the males who were given unsupervised access to one or both of the girls–

For example, Christel began a sexual relationship with her older daughter’s father, Frank, when she herself was still a young minor, around fifteen. Christel claimed the reason Frank had never found another girlfriend his own age, or any other girlfriend, was because of his obsession over having had a girlfriend [her] who was almost twenty years younger than him.

Christel also told me that several years later, while they were sharing an apartment in Roseburg, she came home unexpectedly and caught Frank having sex with an inflatable doll he owned.

She never told me, and I didn’t think to ask, but I have to wonder where their daughter was when this happened? It may explain why Christel kept her daughter away from Frank for most of her younger life.

But really, the secret voyeurs who pleasure themselves by watching are the real perverts (and usually are the ones who pretend to be disgusted), since every person has the right to pleasure themselves, privately, despite the risk it may or may not pose to their long-term vision (according to most of the sports talk morons).

But in the age of sexual equality, we really shouldn’t consider a man’s right to pleasure themselves, privately, to be any different than any woman who chooses to lay in her bed and pleasure herself with a vibrator, dildo, or her own hand (while no one other than the NSA can watch, through one of those low energy light bulbs that weigh about two tons; or one of those low energy shower heads that weigh four tons; or some other electronic device that happens to be in the room, like an alarm clock, radio, television, cell phone, or even the paint on the wall).

Yet simply because males usually leave behind physical evidence (that can be easily stolen), where females do not, we publicly threaten men who choose to pleasure themselves with blindness and endless ridicule, or something worse.

And simply because a male’s private parts are external, and therefore exposed during urination, where a female’s parts are mostly hidden, we punish men for urinating outside. And then we put them on this nazi-like list with most of the local “cripple” men where all the neighborhood psychopath-vigilantes (and a few of these “neighborhood watch weirdo’s”), can legally torture them to death, while the police and DA look the other way!

Because of what happened to me, now I can’t help but also wonder if maybe Frank was behind some of this, because maybe he had recently done something inappropriate with his daughter, and needed someone else to blame.

Frank had always been single since I knew him, and had a young daughter who was beginning to bloom coming over and sleeping next to him on the floor.

So, is it fair for me to ask, what else would he do to fulfill his own healthy sexual appetite, especially after he gets a couple beers in him?

I would argue, that if anything like this ever did happen between the older daughter and any one of these males, it would be a pretty strong reason why they might want to secretly encourage the oldest daughter to try to have some sort of sex with me, and then help them report me to the police. Even if it was almost three years later–

Detectives Marley and Oaes came to my home just before Thanksgiving in 2004, and I invited them in, because I had nothing to hide and ignorantly thought they might be able to help me and my son, Abraham. But they didn’t want to talk to me about anything inappropriate that involved my oldest step-daughter’s mother or father, or the grandmother, or her mother’s previous boyfriend, or his teenage boys (who were left alone with the girls over night dozens and dozens of times)?

Why did her mom decide to wait for two and a half years before making this erroneous allegation against me, alleging that I had “touched her daughter’s breast in a sexual manner”, given all the other crazy stuff that happen around there (under her mother’s nose)? A part of me always thought they were nuts to think any one would let them get away with this, but they did–

Did she do this because Christel knew I never had any actual sexual contact with the older daughter, unlike perhaps some of the other males who had been in her life, while she was presumably under her mother’s care? And wasn’t it really because I had threatened to expose her following the Ford Foundation Annual Luncheon?

Once wile we were living in Beaverton Christel said she had discovered a bottle of lotion hidden under a blanket on the living room floor, where Frank and their daughter had been sleeping. Obviously, finding a bottle of hand lotion while cleaning up doesn’t really prove anything inappropriate had happened. However, because of what may have happened that night in our bed, you would have to agree that finding some hand lotion where they had been sleeping is a little curious…

And there was one of Frank’s close friends, named Michael who liked wearing an elf’s costume around Eugene. Just after we met, he admitted to me in 2000 that he had been “convicted” of molesting a male child a few years earlier. And when I asked, Christel said she knew about it.

So, despite Michael’s previous conviction and odd costumes, once on our way to Roseburg Christel decided that it would be okay to drop her oldest daughter off for the weekend at this abandon elementary school along I-5 where Frank was staying. And then when we were pulling out, Christel told me she could see Michael through her rear view mirror coming out from around the corner, dressed in an elf suit.

Apparently, Frank’s friend, who was a registered sex offender, and his parents owned the abandon elementary school and were living there at the time.

So I have to wonder, if Frank had ever left her alone with Michael when he took a shower? Or did he just take her into the bathtub or shower with him? I know she didn’t seem to ever mind being naked in the tub with me and her mom (although for the record, I was always wearing swimming trunks or running shorts every time this happened).

Then there was Christel’s previous boyfriend, Rick, who I mentioned earlier and who she said had a “serious porn problem”. And had two (obviously well-educated, horny) teenage boys who apparently had access to all of their dad’s pornography.

Before Christel and I became engaged in the summer of 2001, she told me Rick and his boys would often stay over night at the duplex, sometimes two or three times a week. She also told me that there was always lots of explicit sexual material laying around Rick’s trailer, which was parked up the street at his sister’s house on Lawnridge. So I would imagine, there was always lots of porn available for the boys to “borrow” while their dad was busy upstairs.

For this reason, it’s very possible the older daughter had already lost her virginity to one of them and was already sexually active when we first met in the fall of 2000.

I was introduced to Christel by Frank and his daughter a few months later, in February of 2001.

Knowing this, and knowing the lack of general supervision from her mother, the older daughter’s sudden brazen behavior and genuine excitement over what was happening suggests to me she may have gotten naked and done something very similar to this with someone else before me…who may have not stopped. And it’s very possible that her mother knew about it.

On a couple different nights, and usually when she had been drinking a lot of wine, Christel encouraged me to play this one sex game where I was supposed to pretend she was a nine-year-old girl I was seducing. She wanted me to describe, step-by-step what I would do, after we met in a park, or somewhere.

When I said something about being uncomfortable with this sexual fantasy, especially since she had begun telling me about her own sexual abuse as a child, she stopped playing this game.

I’m sure she remembered our conversation the next day and may have been embarrassed. because she never did bring this fantasy up again after that. I also noticed after this happened, she began to seem more distant, sexually. Did my unwillingness to play this particular fantasy disappoint her? I always wondered if that was the beginning of the end for us…and the thrill was gone, as reality began to settle in–

Before then, one night while we were sipping wine, I carefully asked why she liked to play this particular sex game? She began telling me about how once her mother had taken her to this adult party when she was only nine. She said they gave her some LSD. Then she said she couldn’t remember much of what happened that night, other than remembering how the men had passed her around the room.

This would mean, if Christel had herself been with (raped by) a lot of adult men by this age, around nine or ten, maybe she decided her daughter’s body at age ten or eleven (and her vagina) were physically mature enough, and therefore more than old enough to do anything her daughter, or anyone else who had her consent, wanted to do, sexually.

Maybe they already had an understanding BETWEEN THEM, AND they agreed it was entirely her older daughter’s choice, as a maturing young woman, about when, how, and who she had sex with (or fooled around with), apparently including any of her mom’s “partners”?

And maybe THAT’S WHY Christel SAID NOTHING when she saw her oldest daughter begin to push her naked bottom into my lap, simulating sex, as long as no one was forcing her to do anything she didn’t want to do…and maybe that’s why the older daughter didn’t have to stop, even when I asked, politely.

As we all know, normally, within just a few seconds, a healthy man can become fully aroused from direct stimulation to his penis. While it’s not considered to be polite or generous (when with a partner), a man who has been aroused can ejaculate within seconds of becoming partially erect if stimulated in just the right way. This is no secret; Christel knows this. But yet she allowed this intimate contact to go on between her older, naked daughter and me for almost a minute? And they made it seem so normal–

One of the troubling things I discovered about Christel was her habit of drugging her younger daughter with benedrill at night, just like Jennifer and Sarah Hart were doing to their six adopted children here in Clackamas County, Oregon (before an investigation by the State of Washington scared them enough to murder themselves and all six children by driving their van over a California cliff).

Christel’s younger daughter was very hyper-active. So that’s why Christel said, it was to give her some peace of mind, but it may have also been to give everyone else some freedom and sexual privacy in the evenings. I personally witnessed the fact that she almost always gave her youngest daughter benedrill in the evenings when I first started coming over to spend the night–

So, it’s easy to imagine that while Christel and Rick were upstairs, there may have been some experimenting going on downstairs, after the youngest (and sometimes, the most annoying) sibling fell asleep.

When I began staying over night at her Springfield home, the girls would often spread a blanket out in front of the TV and fall asleep watching a movie while Christel and I stayed up stairs. So when Rick stayed over, I’m sure all of the kids figured out pretty quickly that no adults would ever be checking on them until morning…and all of them could safely explore their own sexual curiosities.

And it’s hard to believe that at least one of the boys wouldn’t have some “interest” in Christel’s older, sexually-curious daughter, who she often described as being “very pretty”.

I’m no expert on what happens to the anatomy of nine, ten or eleven-year-old girls who are already having sex, maybe a couple times a month, but I know almost all women will become more easily aroused and more “pliable” the more often they have intercourse. In a very short time for most females the vagina will naturally become moist and begin to stretch and become more accessible to the man’s penis, regardless of his size or her previous experience.

Writing about all of this, reminded me of Beverly Marsh, an eleven-year-old female character from Stephen King’s book, a major network movie, and the “box office smash (sure to be nominated for an Oscar or two), “It”.

In chapter 22 of this book King describes how this victim of incest, who was being raped by her father, Mike Marsh, decided to suddenly have sexual intercourse with each of her six male companions (, according to King, to help the boys focus, so apparently they could save Beverly’s “helpless ass”, and escape from the underground tunnels of Dairy.

So according to the book, King’s eleven-year-old heroin is able to do “it” with six boys in a row. And she did this without pain or lubricant (other than perhaps a little “Lugar Marquise”)–

Really Stephen? Did your wife Tabitha, who is also a best selling author and an activist, read this incredible cow shit?

Chapter 22 certainly does, and may have been partly intended to, poison the minds of young boys to believe the normal female body and mind is able to, regardless of age, easily handle multiple sexual partners, both physically and emotionally.

While there are some adult, mature women who can, and do, enjoy this sort of sexual freedom, most young men and teenage boys should know meeting someone like this at a party or anywhere else (unless cash is involved) is very, very unlikely. So do yourself a favor, and don’t ever expect it to happen to you.

And since Stephen King and his creepy publishers didn’t feel motivated to tell you this, let me warn you, all teenage boys who find themselves in these circumstances should immediately realize this is a clear red flag that something’s wrong here, so don’t make it worse!

So did Tabitha King write Chapter 22 based on one of her own fantasies? It’s very possible–

And we should ask, how many of the boys who read this provocative chapter will begin to obsess over finding a young girl, just like Beverly?

According to the author, who ever it was, made it so that the kids were all around the same age, which apparently made it more acceptable to the publisher (And apparently less degrading to the young victim?).

Perhaps, in the age of “me too”, we should also ask who are the people publishing this sort of blatant sexual material, with no redeeming value or purpose? Which would seem to make it a form of child abuse, if we consider how many young people have read this book?

Personally, I would like to “see” someone some day put the alleged author, Stephen King, on the hot seat. then ask him if this chapter was his idea, or his wife’s? Or perhaps, more likely, his pushy publishers or agent, who may have put him or his wife up to adding this perverse chapter at the end of the book (to boost sales?)–

Here’s what makes it even worse. If you read it, this chapter is not only about seven children having sexual intercourse, it’s also about how young girls who are being molested by their fathers can best contribute to the group when it comes to solving serious problems…”Just take off your panties and show us what you can do, honey. And just leave it to us boys to get your sweet little pretty ass out of this mess!”

If you haven’t read “It”, or forgot this chapter, I’ll refresh your memory. Better pull the shades (and grab a cold towel)!

In Chapter 22, Stephen King describes in great detail how the young Marsh girl is able to have two joyful orgasms with two of the boys, and suffers from only a slight amount of burning despite her young age [11] and despite having intercourse with six consecutive partners (with no break or lubricant). Sounds pretty crazy, doesn’t it?

I suspect any experienced sex worker would tell you having vaginal intercourse with six consecutive partners (and then have two orgasms with the last two partners) would be extremely difficult if not impossible for any woman to do, let alone an eleven-year-old girl–

Hopefully, Most men know that most female victims of any sort of sexual assault struggle with having orgasms, even decades later when they are with a loving, patient partner.

So portraying this young incest victim (of multiple sexual assaults) having two orgasms with two different partners who, along with four other boys, are taking turns, seems extremely insensitive, and a little perverse, for America’s greatest horror writer.

And as I said, what message does this scene send to young girls about what their role should be, once they have been abused? I know what the “boys” would say, and this book and its two movies certainly have re-enforced that belief.

It’s hard to imagine where the famous Jewish horror writer and his Jewish publisher’s minds were when the book describes this next scene in explicit detail, but this is sort of how it reads…

Apparently, after her four previous partners, Beverly’s young vagina is able to quickly open up to, and accept, Eddie’s larger penis, who apparently (mostly because of its size) helps her to reach her first real orgasm. “Way to go Stephen!”

It’s too bad, that instead of teaching young men that recognizing this form of acting out is likely a possible sign of a young girl’s previous victimization or abuse. And maybe teaching young men to have the courage to stand up to peer pressure and not participate, and maybe even rescuing her from what is likely to later become an extremely embarrassing, and perhaps painful, experience. Instead, King’s book glamorizes the entire event, according to the mind of Beverly Marsh. Really, Stephen?

We know “Stuttering Bill” is the boy she really loves and wants to be with, and throughout the book the reader is rooting for them to get together. Then Beverly at last rewards both Bill and the reader, by allowing us to listen to her most intimate thoughts and feelings, as they are slowly and sweetly making love.

The reader listens intently, as she describes having her second real orgasm with Bill.

So why do you suppose the author chose to instead have her offer her body up to all of the boys before Bill? Are we supposed to believe that by “doing it” in just this way it will somehow help Beverly heal from her father’s sexual abuse?

But honestly, what do we really learn from reading about children screwing each other?

And according to the author, what’s the kids ultimate reward?

We learn, the ultimate prize, after all of this “gang banging”, is that the boys are able to lead the “helpless” little girl to safety, now that she has shared her “love” with all of them, as King puts it–

So, given all of her and her daughter’s many adventurous experiences, it’s very possible Christel may have carefully arranged all of “it”.

Maybe, as I said, she comes up with the idea of telling the girls she wants to test my virtue, and gets the girls to help her. The younger goes first. Then she has her older, experienced daughter, place herself on me in the most intimate position possible, because she knew it was the quickest way to stimulate us, physically, while she watched out of the corner of her eye. Especially if Christel knew her oldest daughter had already been having sexual intercourse with one of Rick’s boys, but hadn’t been with anyone for a couple months. So maybe Christel knew, as a woman, it would only take a small amount of contact between us to get her naked didi to become aroused, or perhaps, more aroused than she already was….waiting for her turn–

By getting her to wrap her legs around me, perhaps Christel knew that her daughter’s most sensitive body part — the soft, fleshy skin along the lips of the vagina, would likely touch or bump against my crotch. She is guessing for the reasons mentioned above it will only take a few seconds of direct contact before her daughter’s vagina becomes stimulated, and even more accessible.

Almost everyone remembers having that first real lover; everyone knows, after you get past that first awkwardness, you, or more accurately your body, could never get enough touching! Boys or girls, it’s all you ever think about!

So maybe having her daughter sitting naked on my lap, with our genitals bumping against each other, Christel knew her adventurous daughter, who at first only wants me to see how pretty she is, would quickly become aroused from this sort of contact. And maybe she figured I wouldn’t resist the “opportunity”, once I too became stimulated by the feel of having a naked, “eager moist beaver” rubbing against my barely covered penis!

Maybe, as long as her daughter stayed there on my lap long enough, with her arms wrapped around my neck, inadvertently rubbing and bumping against me; as long as she kept sliding forward while she was leaning back, and pushing down onto me, Christel knew, or believed, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from participating in “the game”.

And Christel knew, once your in the game it’s hard to get out. Maybe she just didn’t know exactly how long it would take to get me interested enough to play?

Unlike her younger sister, the older daughter was a lot bigger in every way. I would say she was probably twice her sister’s size. And she was a lot stronger, which meant her grip around my neck and thighs was a whole lot tighter.

So, I reached back and arched my back, and tried to peal her arms from around my neck, which caused her to struggle even more…which only made it worse–

And her mother’s laughter only re-enforced her belief that this was okay — getting naked and, perhaps unintentionally, simulating having sex with her mom’s boyfriend, while her mom watched.

Maybe in her young mind she thinks, ‘It isn’t like she’s really going to have real sex with her mom’s real boyfriend!’ So maybe when it began her brain convinced her it was only a movie or a game and it was okay to pretend, when she took off her clothes and underwear, and first jumped on my lap.

But then, maybe shortly after it started, and she felt me bumping against her, she began to feel aroused, and the rules of the game changed.

I could have sat perfectly still, waiting to be gratified by the soft feel of her developing underside settling down on to me, and let nature take its course. But that’s not what I did–

On a side note, during the day, Christel would keep the apartment around ninety degrees most of the time, which is reflected by our extremely high electric bills. Even though I think it was October or November when this happened, as usual I was wearing nothing more than thin running shorts and a t-shirt.

As I try to analyze what happen that fall afternoon, honestly, I would have to admit long, long before my conscious brain ever thought about it, a part of me already knew. I suspect my body recognized instantly the touch and feel of that familiar soft curve pushing against it, searching for it, and began to react.

Ironically, I remember wanting her mother to tell her to get off of me! So I wouldn’t have to be the “bad guy”.

I suppose, if she had lost her virginity and her hymen had already been broken, and had been having intercourse with someone for awhile before this, then maybe this would explain why her body seem to want to force as much intimate contact between us as possible…as her mother vicariously watched…and silently gave her daughter the approval she needed to continue with what she was doing.

As much as I try to write down (and edit) my perceptions, I can’t seem to ever find the right words to explain just how truly weird this whole situation was!

As I said, it happened so quickly. It seemed as though the older daughter’s body, much like any mature woman would do, was subconsciously trying everything it could to slip over the tip, and pull me inside, as it may have started to do, even though I was wearing shorts when it happened…

Partly because of her age, and maybe for the other reasons I describe, the older daughter’s motions were a lot slower and seemed more intentional, which only made the situation worse, as opposed to how it felt when the younger daughter’s bony butt (and quicker movements) was sliding back and forth across my lap until I pulled her off of me.

As most adults know, the opening of the vagina will open wider during both stimulation and child birth. Only a conscious effort on the part of the female, such as when a woman is being raped, can sometimes prevent this natural response from happening.

So along with possibly causing the older daughter to become stimulated, my body was probably also beginning to release a small amount of semen. This is perfectly normal for any male during the first moments of arousal. It is similar to how a woman will sometimes have an orgasm while she is being raped.

Unlike a condom, I suspect the thin material of my running shorts would not likely prevent my semen from seeping through the thin cloth.

So the growing moisture on the tip, along with the slippery nylon cloth and her own moisture, in all truth could have acted like a lubricant, which may have made the opening of the labia and vagina more slippery and easier to penetrate. Especially if she was “experienced”.

On a side note, as most people know, the male sperm is an amazing ‘animal’. It is released from the penis at an incredible speed of over thirty miles per hour during ejaculation. While most of the fluid released from the penis is semen, and not actual sperm, the amount of sperm released during ejaculation can be in the tens of millions.

The sperm has only one true purpose in life; the sperm lives to find and penetrate the female egg. So it’s possible that sperm numbering in the hundreds of thousands, and maybe even millions, were already waiting on the tip when the older daughter moved her exposed vagina up against my slightly covered penis.

As a matter of fact, the sperm is always waiting on the tip of any aroused penis, from that very first moment it has been stimulated, waiting to be inserted into the waiting egg–

Because of the sperm’s fierce will to survive, any amount of male sperm, even just one, placed on, or inside of, or any where near the outer lips of the vagina will recognize the signal immediately and do anything it can to get inside the opening, in order to make that long swim up the vaginal canal toward the fallopian tube in search of the unfertilized egg. It knows this is the only way it will survive.

You might say, it’s that wonderful “Sent of a Woman”, or more accurately, the enzymes in her vagina that psychotically draws the sperm from its resting place deep inside the male’s testicles out into the world, triggering the sperm’s natural desire to succeed at all costs.

At this point, its the greatest race of all — a race to the starting line! Without some kind of contraceptive, or its death (not more than twenty-four hours later, unless refrigerated), the sperm will not be otherwise prevented from completing its mission — it’s mission to impregnate the egg and create life.

Just after she jumped on my lap, I remember saying something to the older daughter like “What are you doing? Come on, stop that! Get off of me!” As I said, I think she laughed at me at least three or four times, which made me laugh too. But she wouldn’t let go.

Maybe I didn’t say it harsh enough to convey my concern about what she was doing to me, physically. I suppose I ignorantly ignored, and thought she couldn’t feel, my partial erection starting to push against her.

Intentionally or not, she seemed to have absolutely no reservations over the fact that she was rubbing her naked didi against me, and she was starting to stimulate me, sexually. It was as though my lap were the horn of a saddle she were riding in a parade, while her mother cheered us on!

Fact is, it was a no win situation for me from the moment the girls first took off their clothes and decided to jump on my lap, no matter what I did, or how fast I did it, I would be the villain.

Sad thing is, I knew in their own minds the girls were teasing me — playing another silly game, like they often did. I didn’t want to shame them or give them a good reason to begin hating me, or all men, by getting angry, as I had every right to do. And as I said, I nervously giggled at some point over the ridiculous situation, being held down and mounted by a frisky eleven-year-old naked girl!

So, why would Christel let her older daughter get naked and sit on my lap, as if she were simulating having sex with me in this intimate, easily accessible position? Was she trying to get me aroused so I would do something sexual with her daughter. intentional or not? By getting our genitals to touch.

Did she know about my Extra-Ablism and what would happen? Was she intentionally planting another seed in both of our minds that could possibly be cultivated later, if needed?

as I said, it happened so quickly. I didn’t realize it wasn’t a silly game any more, until those last few moments; the moment when I thought I felt a part of her cover me, as she was pushing down.

I apologize for being too graphic, but it is also very likely that what I felt at that moment was actually my tip starting to slip in front of her, in the space between her legs. I know, no matter what was or wasn’t happening, at that moment it definitely freaked me out!

So at that very instant, I panicked! That’s why I didn’t notice the older daughter’s own physical reaction to what was happening. I do remember when I first tried to pull her free I felt her squeeze her thighs together as though she were trying to do anything to hold me in place, like a pair of kitchen pliers.

Like I said, she wasn’t yet a young woman or at the age of consent, but she wasn’t a little girl either, physically or emotionally. And while I may not have thought about her physical maturity before this, my body had already figured it out, as I may have felt her soft underside instinctively open, then close, around me.

As most men know, a man can touch the opening of a woman’s vagina with his penis, his finger or the tongue, and the vagina will usually instantly open into a perfect circle, unless the woman is focused on not being entered.

After inserting the penis, finger or tongue into the opening, the opening will instinctively close around it in a way that can’t be described in words; it’s a feeling that a man (or perhaps a woman) is likely to never forget.

Simply the process of giving birth proves how powerful the woman’s vagina is!

When exercised, the vagina has the ability to take hold of something and not let go until it gets what it wants, which makes it almost seem like a woman inside of a woman.

So the reader knows, other than that first moment she unexpectedly jumped on me and I grabbed her and realized that she was naked, and I paused for a moment and let my hands drop to my side, I never stopped trying to pull the older daughter’s hands and arms from around me.

It’s taken me years to process what actually happened during this one particular minute in my life, when everything changed, and then gotten to a place where I’ve been able to write about it. Thinking about what I might have done differently?

Had I known at the time how Christel would viciously use and manipulate incidents just like this to vilify me, while excusing her own bad behavior. In retrospect, I could, and maybe should, have let all of my anger go at that moment and started screaming at all three of them!

But not now, or when it happened, have I ever been angry at the girls themselves over what they were doing around me back then–

I knew there was no real prurient intent in their hearts or ill-will toward me. Even if someone talked them into trying to get me to do something they knew was wrong, and they knew it was more than just a silly game.

Maybe not at first, but from the moment I heard her giggle over the embarrassing situation I quickly began to suspect their mother had a lot to do with what they were doing. And meanwhile, I was ignorantly waiting for Christel to tell her older daughter to “Please get her naked butt the hell off MY LAP! “And put on some damn clothes, for god’s sakes girl!”

I’m sure they would be embarrassed today to talk about what happened. And I apologize, and would prefer not to embarrass the girls by bringing any of this stuff up. But my life now depends on telling my side of the story!

As I have said repeatedly, almost every day and night I am being assaulted in the crotch, feet, hands, scalp, nose and other more private places with some sort of invisible laser that can shock, burn, poke, sting, itch, or numb a part of you (and they can do this from well beyond the walls of your home or vehicle). And so that’s why it’s critical that I tell this story now, while, unlike Jeff Epstein, I still can–

The one mistake I probably did make during the first twenty or thirty seconds when this happened was not reacting. I suppose I was Trying everything to ignore the seriousness of the situation — having a young, naked girl sitting on my lap with her legs spread apart (and her new pubic hairs showing), facing me (with her arms wrapped around my neck). I mistakenly thought at any moment Christel would tell her to “Get off!”

For a moment, let’s assume Christel had no part in this craziness, and maybe one or both of the girls were entirely behind the plan, Let’s say, Christel is distracted by her art, and doesn’t notice at first–

However, the reader would have to agree that from the very moment Christel noticed that her oldest daughter was completely naked and sitting on her boyfriend’s lap, facing him, with at most a couple inches separating their genitals, she should have immediately stood up and stopped it.

And you would have to agree, she should have noticed a moment later when her oldest daughter, who had her arms wrapped around his neck, had slid her butt a little closer to him.

So, even though Christel was sitting at the kitchen table directly behind her daughter, she should have surmised that it was possible that our genitals were now touching? She certainly knew her daughter’s vagina was completely exposed at that moment.

And there’s no way Christel couldn’t have also noticed that her daughter wasn’t sitting still–

And don’t you suppose that Christel should have noticed that by leaning back and moving around, her movements were likely causing even more contact between our private parts.

And how could her mother not realize that the oldest daughter wouldn’t become sexually stimulated by almost a minute of this sort of physical contact?

So, after she destroyed my life and stole my son, how could I not wonder if this is exactly what Christel wanted to happen that day?

So the reader better understands how Christel reacted, I’ll explain what happened during those last few seconds one more time. Skip these next two paragraphs if you like, but this is how it went down. And more importantly, how Christel responded.

We were both kind of leaning back, as I was trying to pull her arms from around my neck, when I felt her bottom pushed down onto me, and I thought I could feel her body start to swallow the tip!

Then a moment later, she threw her body against me, and buried her head into my neck. At the same exact moment she squeeze her legs and arms around me, even tighter. That’s when I roughly jerked her hands apart and lifted her into the air.

I don’t know if she still had her hymen. She never made a sound that would have let me know she was in any sort of pain, which I figured meant I had pulled her off me before anything serious had really happened–

Here’s the point and why this level of honesty is needed. At this very second when this occurred I heard Christel laugh out loud, really loud!

It was as though something had burst inside of her. I now wonder, did Christel have an orgasm at that moment, watching this?

She must have seen the shocked look on my face when this happened. And she must have seen her daughter suddenly throw her body against me, hiding her face.

Did seeing our reaction at that moment cause Christel to instantly become gratified? I could tell by the laughter that followed, Christel seemed to be extremely titillated by the live entertainment, and didn’t care that things had suddenly gotten a lot more serious.

Except, here’s the really twisted part of this particular sex game.

As I said, at that one moment, when it happened, the older daughter limply fell against me and quickly buried her face into my neck, throwing her long hair everywhere, partly covering my face.

As I think back about it, I would imagine her daughter must have also been shocked by the sudden intimate contact between our most sensitive and most private body parts…

And I suppose it’s possible that her already aroused didi only needed that small, little tickle near her vagina to make it respond, as it apparently did when she pushed down against me that last time–

that’s why today, I believe her older daughter may have had an orgasm at that moment when we may have touched, intimately. And it may even have been her first.

Based on how I recall it felt at the moment when her entire body instinctively tightened around me, I realize now this is the same exact reaction that happens when I’m making love to a mature woman when she’s having an orgasm, while she’s in my arms, or sitting on my lap in this way.

Obviously if she were a mature woman, I would have acknowledged her physical response by rubbing her back and holding on to her as tight as I could until it was over, but that’s not what I did!

The older daughter may or may not have understood what happened to her at that moment, other than suddenly feeling really dizzy and losing her breath.

Maybe a part of her wants to separate the memory from me. Maybe her body is telling her it felt nice, this strong physical sensation that for a moment took her breath away and made her feel warm all over!

But yet she feels ashamed, because she can’t separate me from the experience, which not surprisingly makes her feel angry. She thinks to herself, ‘It wasn’t so confusing before this when Rick and the boys were around, and maybe she begins to hate me for it?

So after it happens, maybe she tries to tell her mom about her confusing feelings over how her body reacted so strangely when she was sitting on my lap.

She maybe says, ‘Mommy, I think I could feel it touching against my didi. Then I got this really weird tingle feeling all over, and I think I may have almost passed out.’

Her mother just plays it off and tells her it was nothing, and to just try and forget about it.

Except her mom knows exactly what happened and why her body responded the way it did–

Then maybe she begins to worry that someday her daughter might tell someone else? After all, it may have been Christel’s idea to get her daughters to take their clothes off and straddle my lap in a way that she knew, or should have known, would force some direct intimate contact between our sensitive, sexual reproductive organs — it would force some physical contact between the lips of her vagina, and the tip of my barely covered penis.

In other words, Christel may have gone as far as to knowingly have her daughters place their naked vaginas directly against the most private part of my body and move in a way that she knew I would very likely react, physically.

Also, she should have known that sitting in this way on my lap would likely cause her girls, especially her possibly sexually-active older daughter, to very quickly become aroused. And once she became slightly aroused, maybe she knew her daughter would be motivated to keep going–

Christel had to know being completely naked with their legs spread apart wide while they were forcing the already parted lips of their developing vaginas down on to or against any male’s penis (and what would likely very quickly become a stiffening penis), their vaginas would, or could, be more easily penetrated by the man’s tip, accidentally or not. Especially the older daughter, given her age and anatomy, and her possible previous sexual experience (and her mom’s apparent complete consent to be sexually active, if that’s what she wanted).

As I said, it lasted just a couple seconds. At the moment I realized what was happening, when I thought I felt her empty space start to slip down over or next to the tip. I quickly reacted and firmly pried her hands lose from around my neck.

Because of the way her legs were wrapped around me, and her extra weight, only then was I able to begin to stand up and lift the older daughter off my lap and break any sort of intimate contact between our bodies.

If you think about it, I could have easily sat perfectly still at that moment and done nothing; I could have simply pretended to be an unwilling participant as this young naked pre-teenage girl was unknowingly spreading the lips of her completely exposed vagina against the stiffening tip of my almost naked penis, and wiggling around at the same time she was pushing down.

And if we were adults, and lovers, by leaning her head back while she was doing this, I would have to confess that her body would have been at the perfect angle if I wanted to remove my penis from my shorts and quickly enter her.

Truthfully, I have to wonder if her mother would have done anything to stop it, if I had discreetly done something like this, as long as we weren’t being too obvious and her little sister didn’t figure it out?

You see, if I had sat perfectly still and not pulled her off my lap, and if she had already lost her virginity, and I just silently sat there, it may have only taken another half minute or so before I was able to begin to slipped inside the opening, and we actually began copulating!

I can assure you that if this had happened my brainless friend, with no help, would have responded to the moisture and intimate contact, and probably ejaculated within another ten or twenty seconds, at most!

My point in describing this possible outcome in such graphic detail is to make the reader understand how damn easy it would have been for me, or any real sexual predator, to take advantage of this “amazing opportunity”.

But that’s not what I did! And only a righteous asshole from the media, like John Canzano or Lard Larson, or some angry, vindictive woman from the Northwest News Channel, could blame me for any of this craziness!

And god knows, If I had ever knowingly ejaculated anywhere around either of the girls for any reason at all, No one, including me, would ever defend my participation, regardless of the circumstances.

But that never happened. And it was the choice I willfully made more than once.

As is so often the case in America today, and as my story proves, once again “they” were able to crucify the poor, helpless man anyway. And you have to ask, how many of these other straight men who are shooting people every day feel the same way as me? In that, there is no more hope for most of us guys in America, whether it’s school, the courts, or a job–

After all of this, Christel said nothing as her younger, still naked daughter apparently came running back down the hallway again. I mistakenly sat back down, thinking the three of them were done having their fun trying to embarrass me.

I had just started to relax, when a moment later I felt the younger daughter jumped back on to my lap. in the same way She wrapped her arms and legs around my neck and waist and once again began sliding her naked butt back and forth across my partial erection, which I have no doubt by now she could easily feel rubbing against her fully exposed didi…which must have excited her even more.

This time I quickly stood up, preventing her naked bottom from having any further contact with me, as Christel continued to laugh.

After words, I could tell by their extremely nervous laughter that both of the girls were very likely sexually gratified by the entire experience, even if the younger one didn’t understand why.

So you understand, this entire “game” is a typical form of classical “grooming”, of a child. often The adult predator will get their victim to “play a game”, with the intent of getting them aroused, or at least curious about, and desirable for, this strange sexual sensation. By getting the child to laugh while it’s happening, the young or inexperienced person is more likely to feel comfortable and more easily give into the feeling and continue to “play the game”.

Between adults, this is part of the normal seduction process, but when an adult does it to a child, even if they use someone else as the vehicle or instrument, it can be considered criminal. And don’t just assume that the adult who arranged the “game” will be the one held accountable, especially when it’s the “hot mom” doing it!

So as a warning to any blind man who is dating a woman with female children, I graduated college with honors in pre-law, yet I was still too dumb at the time to realize the full ramifications of what was happening in that family even though I was right there when a lot of it was going on. So don’t be a dumb ass like me!

I was stupid enough to completely trust and believe their mother knew, and assumed all mothers instinctively knew, what was and was not appropriate behavior for sexually-curious girls this young when any man was around.

And the truth is that Christel may have known the whole time, but needed to have something she could use against me, if necessary. Acting sexually inappropriate around others was something Christel had been doing throughout her life. So maybe she knew that she would be unlikely to change, and she wanted to have something to make sure her partner would be okay with all of it…even when it included her daughters, or other men.

And so the day we returned from the Ford Foundation, and I told her my intentions to expose her, she decided it would be a lot better for her to come after me first–

After being accused by her in the fall of 2004 that I had acted inappropriately, I learned from her sister and her ex’s that there were at least six other men Christel had accused throughout her life of some sort of sexual abuse.

Obviously, young girls will very likely try to imitate their mother’s behavior, good or bad, and maybe that’s what made this relationship an unnegotiable dilemma from the beginning, even if I never figured it out until long after it was over.

Every woman I ever dated who had a daughter was always protective of them whenever any grown man was around, so living with this family of frisky females, as a blind man, was quite a shock, as you can imagine.

Even before we met, I know the girls were being groomed in one way or another by most of the adults around them to obsess over sex and their “didis”, in a way that I now for sure know was not healthy or appropriate. No one can ever say our dinner conversations were exactly what you might call normal, but what is “normal” in the wild west isn’t the same as most of the places I’ve lived–

PART FIVE:
Perhaps this one conversation about young French girls Christel and I once had late one night may be the best example of her thought process around sex and her girls. This incident is another example of how Christel would often share with me, and probably many of her male partners, information about her own girls, or young girls’ in general, and their vaginas, and their ability and desire to have sex.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, talking about penises, vaginas, and all the different ways of having sex, was one of Christel’s favorite topics when we were alone, especially if she was drinking a little wine.

Intentionally or not, I now know Christel was also grooming me. I believe she was grooming me to feel comfortable with, and desirable for, having sex with her older daughter.

And who knows, maybe it came from guilt she felt over having these other secret sexual relationships. Since she knew her daughter was sexually active already maybe a part of her just wanted me to be happy too, and may have been willing to look the other way if that’s what me and her daughter both wanted to do?

And besides, she thinks what power she would have over me to do what ever she wanted if she could only get me to penetrate her daughter’s young vagina once, even if it was only the tip of my finger or tongue. She knows once any part of me passes through the opening of her daughter’s vagina, it would be more than enough to send me to prison for a long, long time.

Maybe she is hoping to say, “I know what you did today with her while I was gone, and I’m willing to keep this between the three of us. We’ll think of it as a ‘family problem’,” she maybe says.

“But there’s going to be some new rules around here, and from now on, we girls get to decide everything that happens and doesn’t happen. So here’s the first rule,” she says. “You will never again be allowed to question my other sexual relationships. From now on, I’ll be with anyone I want, any time I want.”

You see, I know this part is true. Both Christel’s daughters know their mother was cheating on me. They know I gave their mother an expensive diamond engagement ring and was obviously, very in love with her. They knew I brought her flowers all the time, and sometimes surprised her by leaving them on her door step when she lived in Springfield.

But the girls also knew I had my suspicions and would sometimes question them about their mom’s strange and inconsistent explanations about where she had been OR WHY SHE WOULDN’T ANSWER THE PHONE. Perhaps, the girls were worried about how I might react if I found out all three of them had been keeping these secrets.

So maybe one morning Christel decides to tell her oldest daughter exactly where she’s going — she’s going out to see another man. And maybe she tells her daughter she’s going to leave her alone with me for the whole day, like they talked about.

And before she leaves, Christel maybe says something like, “Don’t worry, sweetie. He’s a good man.”

But maybe what she really told her daughter on this one particular morning, that I’m going to tell you about, is that I’m a ‘gentle lover’, if her daughter’s interested…

Maybe she says, “I know you’re now a young woman, so it’s up to you to decide what you do with your own body and who you do it with. Don thinks your sick, so he agreed to stay home with you so I wouldn’t have to miss school.” Understanding exactly what her mother is telling her, they both smile and hug.

“I promise, I won’t be back before three, so there’s nothing to worry about, nobody will be checking in on you guys’, but call me if you need anything.”

As I’ll explain, her mom didn’t return that afternoon until almost four o’clock.

And maybe that’s why Christel picked out a back scratcher for her daughter to give to me that year for Christmas? Maybe it was to let me know that her daughter would scratch my back, if I agree to “scratch her’s”…and don’t worry about what her mom’s up to (if she doesn’t happen to answer her cell phone.

So, knowing her mom is off cheating on me, the older daughter begins to think about it. Maybe she’s thinking to herself, if she could get me to join in on any of these games, even just a little, I would no longer have any right (or perhaps, any good reason) to get angry at her mother for cheating.

Maybe she thinks in her immature mind, if everyone’s cheating on everyone, then who cares? After all, her grandmother has a boyfriend she regularly visits, and John doesn’t seem to mind, she thinks–

And it’s very likely that the older daughter is feeling some guilt about not telling me what she knows about what her mother’s been doing with Rick and these other men behind my back. Up till now she knows I’ve been completely faithful to her mother. “So if something really did happen between us, would it really be like cheating?” She asks herself.

So maybe when her mom leaves, she starts thinking about what she wants to do, or not do. She hasn’t decided exactly how far she would be willing to go with me…

And she thinks to herself, if she can get me to play around with her, even just a little, ‘after today nobody will have any right to complain about anything’, she thinks. ‘And nobody’s feelings will get hurt any more’.

And by doing this, she gets to be the peace maker for the adults, which deep down is every kid’s desire.

Other than sometimes around her younger sister, I would describe the older one as being a sensitive and compassionate person toward others. So keeping a secret like this for her mother must have been causing both her and her sister a lot of emotional distress.

So maybe in her young mind, knowing how much I love to make love to her mother, just like Beverly Marsh, she’s gonna do what she can to try to make everyone feel better; she’s gonna do her part to make everyone happy!

Maybe a seed had been carefully planted in the older daughter’s mind by her mom or Rick, her grandmother, or her dad, or maybe even someone else, that if she went along and actually did it with her mom’s new boyfriend, there probably wouldn’t be any more loud arguments around the house about her mom’s secrets?

And maybe she thinks, because of her grooming and experience, it’s not like she has to wash the dishes or something horrible like that! And she likes sex, she already knows this–

So maybe she starts thinking about how she might go about it, as her mom is getting ready for “school…

maybe this is the point where she begins to imagine herself sitting on my lap again, facing me. Except this time it’s in the tub, which is filled with hot water and bubbles… And maybe she thinks to herself, “This time it won’t be so easy for him to lift me off his lap. That is, if he even wants to–”

Make no mistake, guilt is a powerful motivator, especially for young people. The ongoing secrecy around sexual abuse, especially for kids, comes from the kids feeling guilty about it.

So let me be clear about this. I don’t blame either of her daughters for anything, but the fact is on several occasions the older daughter did behave as though she, or her body, wanted to have some sort of sexual contact with me. And it became obvious that both of the girls were very interested in their own sexuality, and weren’t ashamed of it.

And probably under different circumstances, with one or more healthy biological parents where they could discuss their sexual feelings in a healthy way, this wouldn’t be as big of a problem as it was for us.

If what was happening was that I was being seduced by a willing young girl who had just reached puberty, and she had her mother’s permission, there are two really big problems with this arrangement:

First, the older daughter was way too young to know what she really wanted, sexually, even if both her mother and father had been grooming her to feel comfortable for many years about expressing her own sexuality with anyone she wanted, when she was ready–

Here’s the second problem. Even if I did agree to go along with any of these “great opportunities” to have some sort of secret sexual relationship with the older daughter (and I never did, willingly or knowingly), it would only make me a worse cheat then Christel.

And maybe Christel knew this. So maybe she was willing to leave her alone with me and go ahead and let it happen, at least once (and sacrifice her daughter’s virtue). If it gave Christel the power over me she needed to excuse her own bad behavior.

You see, if I ever went along with “the game”, unlike her, I would be cheating on her with a child! And all her affairs (with adult men) would be irrelevant, in the eyes of the law.

So maybe she figured she just needed to leave me alone with her sexually-curious, over-friendly daughter to get me to take the ” bait” she was offering…

As I mentioned, when the older daughter jumped on my lap four or five months earlier while I was sitting on the couch I discovered to my surprise she had already developed the same sort of round bottom any mature, petite woman would have, and even back then she may have only been days away from having her first period. There’s no way her mother wasn’t aware of this.

And maybe that’s why she decided that fall, and definitely by the following spring, that her daughter was old enough to serve as a surrogate for her and have sexual intercourse with me if she wanted to. And that’s how it seemed–

Even if she didn’t have breast yet, Christel should have (and I believe did) notice that her older daughter had already begun filling out below the waist. And I suppose there are other people who know for a fact, besides Christel, that her older daughter had also begun growing pubic hair by the fall of 2001 when she started school in Beaverton, and got naked and climbed on my lap.

So, if Christel knew her older daughter had been experimenting, sexually, and may have told her that she liked it, it may explain why Christel would let her older, sexually-experienced daughter fool around with me, even though I was a grown man; it might explain why Christel might be willing to let her do anything sexual she wanted to do with me, as long as she wasn’t being forced by anyone else to do it.

It’s possible that her mother knew the older daughter may have already had as much sexual experience as a lot of fifteen or sixteen-year-old American girls, before she may have tried to do this with me.

As I said earlier, when she jumped on my lap with no clothes she didn’t seem to be afraid, or in any sort of pain or discomfort when it was happening, only giddy and excited…then suddenly, about a minute later, clingy and out of breath–

For females, in one way one’s past experience really does matter. Putting on my science hat, and briefly speaking from a strictly physical analysis, I know every time a female has intercourse her vagina is being trained to respond to the feel of the penis entering her, by first opening wide and then closing around it, like a glove.

From this point forward each time she is entered her vagina will instinctively open wider and become moist even quicker. And if she is anxiously thinking about it before hand, while she’s taking off her clothes and waiting for her turn, this same physical reaction will likely begin to occur well before she has ever been touched, making penetration of her vagina faster and more possible.

Based on my own personal experience, when I was almost fifteen I remember having my first real sexual relationship with a pretty neighbor girl with long strawberry blond hair who was, around twelve or thirteen when we first met during the summer.

About six or eight months later, our sexual relationship began. The first couple times we had sex, I remember we agreed to only put the tip of my penis part way inside of her since in the beginning it caused her a little discomfort.

As I understand sometimes happens, she never did bleed that first or any other time, although I’m pretty sure she was still a virgin when we began seeing each other.

However, after having intercourse a few more times, there was no longer any physical or emotional barrier preventing me from entering her.

Despite her young age, after a short time of being sexually active she told me how much she liked it, not only with her words, but more by the way she instantly became wet when I touched her. And by the way she began to completely open her body to me whenever we did it.

Regrettably, our relationship only lasted about a year or so, after she became interested in one of my friends (who was a better guitar player than me, back then).

She was the third girl I had ever been intimate with- Earlier that year I had a brief relationship with a girl from the blind school who once dated my older brother. But my first time was pretty crazy, so maybe this is a good place to share it–

The previous fall my sister’s boyfriend at the time invited me to crash at his house, since we both played guitars and sometimes sang together when he came over to visit my sister.

His dad worked nights, so one night after his mom went to sleep he took me to his younger sister’s room, who was barely thirteen-years-old herself, and told me she was experienced. I realized later that this meant that she was on the pill, although I didn’t have a clue what he meant at the time.

He said he would be back in awhile and left me alone with her. But who knows, maybe he felt sorry for his girlfriend’s “four-eyed” brother (who was still a virgin at fifteen) and wanted to hook me up. And maybe talked his sister into it, who agreed, and may have said something like, “Okay, it sounds like fun!”

Or maybe he just needed an excuse to sneak out and hook up with my sister at the gravel pit again?

When he first brought me into her room, I noticed right away his sister was laying on the bed, under the blanket. As soon as her brother left, she invited me to join her. So I took off my shoes and lay down.

Then she grabbed my hand and pulled it under the blanket, I was startled and jerked it back, thinking it must have been a mistake…since to my surprise, I realized at that instant she wasn’t wearing any clothes!

The second time she did it, a couple minutes later, I knew it wasn’t a mistake, and so we did it twice that night (my first time) before her brother came back to get me.

Despite my clumsiness, I’ll always remember how sweet she was to me, as I stumbled my way through her secret garden, in search of something…that I’ll never forget.

So back to the story about the young French girls and their vaginas. I don’t remember what Christel said they were called, but one night she excitedly began telling me about how the French would give their young daughters a special kit. She didn’t actually say whether or not she had given each of her daughters one of these kits…and I never asked, but she seemed to want to give me the impression that she had.

Apparently, according to Christel, these kits are first given to girls at around five or six-years-old. She explained, the kits consist of a number of tubes that vary in size. The young girls are instructed to insert them into the opening of their vaginas when they go to bed.

As the girl grows she is encouraged to increase the size of the tube she inserts. Christel said, this is done to get French females to become comfortable with, and desirable for, the feel of having a man’s penis inside of them.

There were probably dozens and dozens of opportunities where I could have done almost anything I wanted to either of the girls, and its possible that nobody, not even the girls, would have discouraged me! Apparently, as long as Christel could watch (and take some pics), she was okay with “it”…

All I ever did was to try to not take the never ending drama and daily nuttiness too serious, and try to fit in…apparently, like Rick did.

This is why I feel taking the book of pornography into evidence was critical to not only learning about the current environment all three children were living in, but absolutely essential to protecting their future, not to mention the safety of every kid who already had, or who would, look in this book.

Ask yourself, how would a four-year-old boy, like Abraham, process a picture of a man, who appears very happy about what he’s doing, shoving his penis into the mouth of a woman?

Just like his older sisters, how long before he himself would begin to act out the images from this book. A few years later, would he began to explore his curiosities with some neighborhood girl, asking her, or maybe forcing her, to do this with him? Is he even capable at this age to understand the concept of “consent”?

I thought this was the point of investigating our family?

After all, other than god (who knows it wasn’t my idea), who cares if Christel and I did it near some nun’s graveyard in a dozen different positions with the camera rolling while heaven and earth were watching?

If you don’t won’t to know the truth, then don’t ask…right Marley? And definitely don’t take anything in to evidence that would challenge your legal theory, about the “evil” step-father and the struggling, “innocent” mom!

PART SIX:
So you understand the situation better, I will continue to explain how I had lots and lots of chances to fondle the girls’ genitals, if I wanted to- And as mentioned above, on one afternoon, I had the “perfect opportunity” to probably rape the older daughter several times, and even may have been able to use her mother, as well as her own guilty feelings, against her to get away with it… But that’s not what I did, as I’ll explain.

There was this one morning in January or February of 2002 when the older daughter was left home alone with me. We were living in Beaverton, and I was working on the computer when it happened.

She yelled out to me (in her most “sexy-sounding” voice). “Oh Don, would you please bring me a glass of ice water?”

I was soon to learn, she was taking a bath (and the bathroom door wasn’t locked, but instead, left wide open)–

So when I came to the door with a glass of water, she quickly stood up and asked me to hand her the glass. And when I walked toward her, she very quickly leaned her body over the tub, intentionally leaning into me. I felt her bare chest touch me. Obviously, she wanted me to know she was naked, or at least naked from the waist up.

As she sipped the water, she lean in to me even more. We probably would have only needed to lean our hips slightly forward another inch or so and our lower halves would have been touching (just like it was when we were sitting on the couch).

Right then, if I were a pervert, I could have wrapped my arms around her and started gently grinding my hips into her, waiting to see how she responded; waiting to see if she would become aroused, or maybe more aroused, by the touch of my genitals pressing against her naked skin.

This is just a hunch, but because of what happened on the couch, I suspect she wouldn’t have pulled away from me… But what would she have done if I had quickly pulled off my shorts, While continuing to rub against her? And if she had already been sexually active, and was given something for her cramps by her mother, how far do you suppose she would have gone, (with a little more encouragement from her mom’s boyfriend)?

And maybe at the same time, maybe I say something funny like, “I love your outfit. Is it your birthday?” And she shyly giggles and says, “No”, and we both laugh!

As I felt her relaxed body leaning into me, it was as though I could hear her thinking, ‘If you’re interested, maybe we could continue where we left off when we were on the couch or in the bed together?’

Imagine this. She is standing directly in front of me, leaning against me, completely naked. Of course, that is, I would assume she was completely naked, but who knows, she may have been wearing underwear or swimming bottoms. But I don’t think so–

As soon as I handed her the ice water, and I felt her lean into me, I guess I kind of knew what she was thinking. And I guess I kind of knew that she was teasing me once again,maybe testing my virtue, trying to play the big girl (while her mom was away).

Honestly, I was both embarrassed and probably a little flattered that she trusted me enough to be naked while we were all alone. But I also immediately wondered, why was she acting this way — getting naked, drawing a bubble bath, and then tempting a healthy, grown man with her body?

As I said, the sad truth was that maybe she knew her mother was with someone else that afternoon, and either her, or maybe both of them, decided that it would be okay if she wanted to offer me some of her attention? Maybe that’s why her mother left her alone with me for the day, because they both felt guilty about Christel being with another man?

You see, I had once or twice overheard them talking about this subject — talking about her daughter’s absolute right to explore her own sexuality how and when ever she wanted. I overheard them say something like this, but I assumed it meant sometime in the future when she was a few years older, but I may have been wrong.

More specifically, I overheard them saying something about the older daughter having a right to have some sexual privacy when she was with her boyfriend (with her own bedroom, with a door that she could lock whenever she wanted to), and her absolute right to choose who she had sex with, and when she had sex…if that’s what she wanted–

So for a moment, I played along with her, partly because I didn’t want to embarrass or shame her by pointing out how suggestive this looked, the way she was Leaning her wet, young naked body against me? But I also didn’t want her to hate me, even if I still hadn’t figured out what game she was playing that day–

I remember being barely thirteen, and hanging out in the basement during one of my sisters slumber parties. One of her girlfriends really like me, and kept coming over and sitting on my lap. At this point, I had only kissed a girl once, romantically, so I had no idea how to respond to all this friendly attention.

She was a really attractive, slender girl with dark brown, auburn hair that went almost to the floor. She was around one year and a few months younger than me, but to my surprise, wasn’t the least bit embarrassed about sitting on my lap when my mom walked bye.

I remember, she asked me several times if I thought she was pretty, and I said yes, and told her that I really did like her! But ignorantly, I said something stupid like ‘When you get breast you’re going to be really, really beautiful.’

Not surprisingly, , she didn’t take it the way I intended, and spent the night in the bathroom, crying.

So along with being cast out of the party, and never having the chance to tell her how sorry I was, my mom gave me a real good scolding for being ‘such a little creep!’

So I suppose I could have humiliated my soon-to-be step-daughter and sarcastically asked her “What would your mother say if she knew you were ‘acting’ this way around her boyfriend?”

But who knows, maybe her mother knew exactly what she was going to be doing that day, and suggested she take a bath with me?

So that it is clear (and in case there was a video recorder running), unlike what happened on the couch or what may have happened when we were all in the bed together, I never became aroused that day by any of this silliness (although perhaps a little nervous in the beginning, not knowing exactly what she was up to).

And after this particular incident in the bathroom I was a whole lot more careful about what I said or did around them. And that’s probably when my friendly relationship with the girls began to change — maybe they began to resent me when I stopped being their “Fun Don”–

So I have to wonder. Was it just that her mother forgot to teach her about what it means when a young lady (with fresh pubic hairs) takes off all of her clothes in front of a male. And did her mother forget to explain what it means when she touches a man (with any part of her body) in any way while she is naked?

Be honest, almost all men, once they become aroused (by the sight and touch of a fertile, naked female), would think any female who knowingly put herself into this sort of situation was sending a clear sign of “consent.

It’s difficult to turn it off once this ancient message is sent to the masculine brain. And I wanted her to know that there are more than a few males out there who would find it extremely difficult to resist the implied offer. Why would she, or her mother, think I wouldn’t be effected by this same sort of close physical contact? I wonder–

While I remember feeling a little unsettled at the time, being alone with a young naked girl who was very likely already old enough to become pregnant, I knew she was safe with me (even though here she was once again, completely naked, touching me with a part of her body).

The challenge was to reject her, without making her feel rejected. I remember thinking I didn’t want her to hate me, or feel ugly or undesirable. One thing I learned long ago was how insecure and emotional young girls around this age feel when men or older boys are around–

Almost immediately, when I felt her bare chest lean into me, a part of me wanted her to understand she was once again playing a very, very dangerous game by behaving this way around any grown man…and I felt she ought to know that there are more than a few men (or boys) who are a lot stronger than her, and who wouldn’t stop until they got everything they wanted — finding a young, attractive naked girl standing in front of them in a bubble bath…with water dripping from every where, including her new, fuzzy pubic hairs!

All young people need to understand that when it comes to “sex”, even the very best plans can sometimes go very bad, very quickly.

And every young girl should know, just because some man happens to be their mom’s boyfriend doesn’t mean he should be trusted any more than any other man, such as a teacher, coach, or bus driver who has some sort of temporary custody over them.

Why in the world any young girl would ever let herself be alone with a grown man while she’s standing naked, in a bath tub filled with bubbles, is itself very troubling. But make no mistake, any man who would take advantage of a young girl like this, who maybe mistakenly thinks she’s only playing a harmless game with her mom’s boyfriend, would very likely also try to figure out some way to get away with it…any way they could. And when coercion, manipulation or the threat of more violence doesn’t seem to work, the perpetrator may feel they have no choice other than to permanently silence the witness.

The two fictional sexual encounters described below, involving an adult male and a young developing female, whether it was, or later became, “consensual”, is a serious sex crime. That is, unless a court has given its permission for them to get married. Which means anything and everything they do, sexually, that doesn’t involve violence or “force” is completely legal.

You maybe shocked to learn this, but it does still happen today in America in a few rare cases, where adult men have been given the right to marry pre-teenage girls, including some who were under eleven years old.

But other than this sort of special arrangement in a few sleazy jurisdictions, with a few sleazy judges, no adult who was caught would likely get away with having sexual intercourse with an eleven-year-old in America…unless of course maybe you’re a billionaire with lots of powerful friends who wear robes to work (and perhaps nothing else)!

Regardless of whether or not one or both parents had encouraged this sort of inappropriate playfulness around strangers, all young people should know one thing.

The rapist, when it is an acquaintance, will very likely do anything to convince his or her victim that they [the rapist] are not the one responsible for what just happened. And most people are raped by someone they know, not by complete strangers, as some believe.

So, should a young victim who is being raped, who has no way to stop it from happening, cooperate with an armed attacker? And should they be sure to promise to never ever tell, if it means it might save their life?

I don’t know if there is a real good answer to that question, other than to say I know that all young females should never put themselves in to this sort of situation — being completely naked in front of any male (other than maybe a little brother).

For example, If my girlfriend’s daughter didn’t feel well that day, as she claimed, and if she felt she needed a hot bath, why didn’t she take a bath earlier that morning before her mother left, around 10:00?

Did her mother know she was planning to take a bath after she left, or think to ask her? This would be extremely puzzling, if her mother knew why she was staying home (she was starting her period) and didn’t ask this question?

Knowing how almost all females on earth are programmed by men to feel “dirty” because of this natural biological function, why wouldn’t her mother think to ask her if she wanted to get a bath before she left?

And really, why in the world did her mother let her skip school that day and hang out with her mom’s boyfriend all day, with no other supervision…

I’m not blaming her for wanting to stay home, especially if the older daughter had unexpectedly started her very first period?

That would explain a lot of this– She didn’t seem “ill” or bed ridden…because after she finished her bath, she asked if we could play some music. So I hooked up my equipment, then she sang and I played guitar for about an hour.

For your information, a few days before her mother would start her monthly cycle, she would become really, really horny, if I can be so blunt. It got where I would keep tract of what day of the month it was so that I knew when she would want, or need, more physical attention.

Does this sort of sexual energy run in families, especially at certain times of the month? I don’t know.

And if I can be even more blunt, was my girlfriend’s daughter simply wanting to be touched there, to make it feel better? After getting in to the warm bath, Was it something she decided to do on the spur of the moment, just simply hoping in the back of her mind I might be able to, if I can be so politically incorrect, comfort her aching didi? Is that why she wanted me to bring her ice cubes while she was sitting in the tub?

Maybe she just wants it to stop hurting…and can’t seem to think about anything else that morning, and since the two of us were there together, home alone…

I have been told in confidence by more than a few women, that when their just starting their period their vaginas will actually ache. And they would tell me that firmly rubbing the lips of the vagina (with my fingers or ice) would give them great relief from this physical discomfort (and usually cause them to eventually have an amazing orgasm).

And I also know most of the women I have had relationships with, would often insist on being in the bath tub or shower when we made love (during these times of the month), which is perfectly understandable…especially for a sexually-active, blooming, young girl perhaps during her first or second period.

I have to also wonder if maybe her mother had given her “something” for the discomfort? Maybe benedrill, or maybe she gave her something a little stronger she had tucked away for a rainy day?

At the time, she didn’t seemed stoned to me, and I would have never suspected it. But it would kind of make sense that her mother might have given her something if she was complaining about having a lot of cramps that morning. And this might explain her silliness and why she was leaning against me the way she was?

But why wouldn’t her mother also consider the possibility that giving her blooming daughter any sort of “medication” might also cause a young, sexually-curious daughter to lose some of her inhibitions, being left alone for so many hours with her mother’s boyfriend?

I know this might sound crazy, but was that Christel’s plan, and maybe even her fantasy–

Did she give her something, like maybe some of her valium, before she left, and then suggest that her daughter soak in a hot tub (to make her feel better), hoping this time something sexual might transpire between us (while no one was watching) (except perhaps, the hidden camera)?

So for educational purposes, let me explain to every parent who may be reading this sexually graphic chapter (despite my warning) exactly how this could very easily happen to their daughter, if she ever did anything as crazy as this, for any reason:

In this alternative version, let’s say, since she’s already standing up to take the glass of water, I take her by the elbow and with one swift motion easily lift her from the tub. I pretend to need her help with something, “Right away!” Which would have sounded very sincere, since this rapist does want her help with something, that can’t wait.

She’s probably a little confused, but doesn’t resist, as she steps out from the warm, bubbly water onto the bathroom floor. Maybe then I hand her a towel, to make her feel more comfortable.

Then before she knew what was happening, I pull a knife from my shorts and put it to her throat, and tell her in the meanest voice possible to ‘not make a fucking sound!’

Within a few seconds I’m fairly sure, despite my blindness, I could have easily pushed her into the master bedroom and locked the door behind us. After moving her on to the bed, where no one would likely hear her cry or call for help, I could have easily slipped off my shorts and climbed on top of her.

Pushing the knife to her throat, I could have used my weight to hold her down, and used my legs to force her thighs apart, likely with little resistance…exactly the way she was when we were on the couch–

Except this time I would be the one in control, and this time I would have no reason to prevent our naked bodies from touching, as I carefully moved into a better position.

Her smaller, helpless, naked body is now completely trapped underneath me, and for this reason, she is unable to move.

The sudden shock of feeling me enter causes her to gasp for air. But her moist didi makes it easy to slide inside. Before she can catch her breath and say or do anything to stop me, I’m able to quickly rape her.

So over the next three or four hours I have no doubt I could have easily raped her over and over, and over again, if I had wanted to…and she would have had no way to stop it from happening.

Because of all of the adrenalin, it would probably be over really quick the first time. But after a short break, when it starts again, the verbal coercion part of the rape would also begin.

So let’s say, while I’m slowly forcing myself on her again, I begin blaming her mother for what was happening, reminding her of all the other times her mother tried to get me to “do it” with her.

But this time it’s slower and more gentle. And while I’m doing it, in a more friendly voice, sounding sincere, I begin the coercion by asking, “Isn’t this what you and your mom wanted me to do with you when I was sitting on the couch, trying to ignore your beautiful little naked body?”

Maybe I tell her, as sweetly as possible, “You know, I’m not ignoring you now, isn’t this what you really wanted?” I ask. She makes a small whimpering sound, and I feel her shake her head once in agreement. Maybe it’s out of fear, but I think to myself, it doesn’t really matter; The coercion process has begun.

Then maybe I say something sick, but half true, like, “You know this isn’t really either of our faults. Think about it. It’s really your mother’s fault.”

I continue, “You can’t blame me for being a man? You can’t blame me for wanting to see every bit of you, can you?”

“You know I haven’t stop thinking about doing this with you ever since I felt you rubbing your sweet little beaver against me.” She makes a sound that sounds like it could have been a giggle, but I’m not sure. So I kiss the side of her head, and continue.

After a few moments of silence, I pause from what I’m doing, and ask her in an even more softer voice, “Tell me, why did you really call me in to the bathroom? Think about it. And why are you laying here with me now, without a stitch of clothes, making love to me?” I pause for a moment–

“Do you think this is just an accident? Or do you think maybe it’s fate that we’re finally together?”

She answers in a quiet voice, “I don’t know.” But she knows exactly why she’s here in bed with me, naked, and this time, alone with me.

“Tell me the truth, you did think about me doing it with you, didn’t you?” I ask in the softest, most sincere voice I can manage.

“I know you were secretly watching me make love to your mom when we were in Springfield. Did you see how happy I made her feel? Is that why you wanted me to do this with you?”

As she lays there in my bed underneath me, it reminds her of the night her mother and her got tipsy and she came to bed with us, and the arrangement they made. She wonders if I know, and suddenly feels this strong urge to tell me everything.

She thinks what I’m saying may be true and that if she tells the police, they might arrest her mother, instead of me. But she already knows down inside she’s not going to ever tell any one.

She decides to not think about her mother any more, and concentrates on her lower half…and when she feels some of my weight lift off of her, she feels her body begin to instinctively move, rhythmically.

She thinks, maybe she’ll even tell her mom. And if her mom tries to give her even a little shit about it, she’ll remind her about the time she came to bed with us, and then her mom fell asleep, and then I woke her mom up in the middle of it!

She knows now, until she decides otherwise, her mother can’t say a damn thing about any of it! Just thinking about it, makes her smile–

This never happened, but maybe under this fictional version she tells herself something really crazy like:

“I’ll bet it’s going to be even better…now that me and my mom will both be fucking her boyfriend!” and she lets out a small laugh, and thinks to herself, “and now she’ll have to stop beating me with those fucking wooden spoons, or I will fucking send her to fucking prison! And me and Don can raise the babies, without her!” And she laughs again.

Hearing her make a sound that strangely almost sounds like a laugh, I ask, “Are you okay?” She nods her head and now sounding more confident, answers in a clear voice, “Yes”.

Her mind quickly flashes back to the moment when she first called out for me- She remembers sitting there for at least a few minutes in the tub, gently touching herself, waiting to get up the nerve…

As she begins to feel more comfortable with his weight on top of her, she asks herself “Isn’t this why you decided to take a bath and leave the bathroom door open, silly? What’s the difference whether we did it in the tub or the bed? Or who gets to be on top?” She laughs again, to herself.

After a short time, she completely forgets about the knife (which has conveniently disappeared from view), and she closes her eyes and relaxes.

A little while later, she feels his body sliding down off of her…and then begins to feel herself being kissed, everywhere…just as she imagined, earlier. When she first filled the tub with really hot water and bubbles…and then very, very slowly took off all of her clothes–

Despite this “perfect opportunity”, this isn’t what I did, or ever thought about doing until long after I was accused of doing something like this, and began to write about it…and explain how damn easy it would have been for me to do something just like this to her that day, while her mommy was away. And maybe get away with it…

Every sexually maturing young girl should know this- The male brain is designed by nature to send a message to his organ that any time a naked mature woman, and her exposed vagina, is in their presence, she is likely telling them that she is ready to copulate (if the male or his organ are interested). Even Krog knew subconsciously a long, long time ago what a naked female with even a small amount of fur down there meant (for both him and the tribe)–

I naturally began to visualize her standing there in front of me, with no clothes. In all honesty, it was kind of cute. That is, the way she casually was leaning her naked chest against me while she was handing me back the glass, as though she were feeling a little tipsy and had started to lose her balance.

I remember, the whole time she used both of her hands to hold the glass, as she was leaning into me. Then she used both of her hands to carefully put the half empty glass back into my hand, as though it were something precious and delicate she were giving me. It was almost comical, like it were a scene in a late night drive-in movie.

Consider the scene, and imagine there’s a camera somewhere rolling. She’s standing there in front of me, completely naked (with her fuzzy, pre-teenage pubic hairs showing), and she’s dripping wet. The viewer can see, she’s standing in a half filled tub, overflowing with bubbles.

It almost seemed like it were a pre-arranged romance scene taken from the Nicole Kidman movie, “Birth” (which ironically was in pre-production around this same time, and which the girls and their mother later watched on cable in the summer of 2004 at their grandmother’s home in Roseburg).

So to the viewer, it looks like the young undressed actress is handing a half filled glass of expensive champagne or vodka to a man who appears to be her older lover, since the viewer can see no biological similarities between the two. Obviously, they seem very comfortable together, since after all, she is completely naked, standing in a bubble bath and leaning against him.

She doesn’t want him to spill a drop of the precious liquid. As perhaps the producer planned it, by telling his young actress to use both hands to very carefully exchange the precious fluids with the barefoot man standing before her. He is only wearing a pair of running shorts, which the eager viewer knows, can be easily removed.

The inference in what the overly-friendly naked girl’s doing and what the liquid represents is perfectly clear to the voyeur , who also doesn’t want either of them to waste a single drop.

When it happened, instead of sitting back down right away or moving away when she handed me back the glass, she just stood there directly in front of me, dripping wet, waiting…

Honestly, at that moment it would have been so easy for me to have taken advantage of this situation, as she seemed to want me to do. I could have dropped to my knees and carefully began to explore her naked legs, starting with her toes. And to keep her from getting nervous, maybe I tickle her toes a little causing her to giggle, while I’m teasingly telling her what beautiful toes she has.

As I use my hands to quickly worked my way up her legs, I would bet she wouldn’t have stopped me.

And because of the shock, she would have probably only laughed, if I had suddenly, gently cupped her bottom with my hands and quickly began softly kissing her fresh pubic hairs.

So it’s clear, that’s not what I did! Although, it sure seemed like that’s exactly what she wanted me to do, as I felt her pushing her entire body into me.

Why would she deliberately leave the door open and unlocked while she was taking a bath and everyone else was gone…and she was home alone with her mom’s boyfriend? What did she really want from me? Just ice water?

Or, in her confused mind, was she testing me to see just how far I would go? She didn’t seem to have a real good plan about what to do if I failed her test and accepted the generous offer, and then turned off the light, turned on the fan, and quietly locked the bathroom door. And then, quickly pulled off my shorts?

But maybe before doing any of this, I first tell her I have to pee, and tell her not to peek, as I turn off the light and lock the door. And then, so no one will hear her, I turn on the noisy fan!

Given all of this, do you think she would have minded if I had quietly stepped into the tub, assuming she doesn’t know I’m also naked, without first turning on the light and opening the door (Remember, she probably doesn’t realize the door is locked)?

I’ll bet, she probably wouldn’t mind, and may even be a little excited by the sudden surprise — finding me standing next to her in the dark. in the tub?

As you read this fictional tale, and knowing this fictional character’s true intentions (to find some way to rape her and then get away with it), at what point do you suppose she would begin to resist my advances?

Obviously, she doesn’t feel odd about being in the tub or bed with me and her mother, despite that at least one of us was naked at the time.

And apparently didn’t feel the least bit shy about taking off all of her clothes and sitting on my lap with her legs wrapped around me, and letting our private parts touch, over and over.

And she didn’t seem to feel funny in any way that morning about inviting me in to the bathroom while she was naked and taking a bath–

So imagine we’re both standing in the tub together, in the dark. Do you suppose she would do anything if I put my hands on her shoulders and slowly turned her around,facing the other way? Probably not. As long as I were careful and didn’t startle her, and she didn’t know I was naked.

I’m pretty sure because of how it usually was around there she wouldn’t have objected or been frightened by any of this “silliness”…until it was too late!

So given the risk she took by setting up this scenario, do you suppose she would have done anything to stop me if I had gently pulled her down with me into the soapy water? So imagine, now she’s presumably sitting in a tub filled with bubbles — sitting between my legs, in front of me.

Under this fictional situation, she’s facing the other way so when I’m ready, I’m able to easily pull her on to my lap.

Then as she’s losing her balance and falling backward, her legs naturally fall apart, completely exposing her naked valley.

At this point, she probably still isn’t scared by what just happened, but is probably wondering what I’m going to do next.

But then all the sudden, she realizes I’m completely naked! But still hasn’t decided if she minds (since she’s also naked). and the truth is, she hasn’t completely decided what she wants to do or not do. But maybe I can tell by the way she hasn’t struggled with me she either doesn’t mind, or hasn’t quite figured out what’s going to happen next…

So let’s say I’m the pervert they wanted me to be, and I’m already hard as a rock, since from the time her mom left for “school” I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do with her (or to her, if she resists).

As every couple knows, before beginning to copulate, the easiest and quickest way to penetrate the opening of the woman’s vagina is making sure they have a very stiff penis and a really moist vagina (one which has been either stimulated for a while by their lover’s fingers or mouth, or in the case of most women, a vagina that has been soaking for ten or fifteen minutes in some really soapy, hot bath water).

For all these reasons, before she knows what is happening, let’s say in this fictional version I gently cover her mouth with one hand. And with the other hand I’m able to quickly slide my extremely firm tip inside, with almost no resistance.

Even if she had been thinking all morning about me touching and kissing her there, maybe she hadn’t actually decided whether or not she would let me go all the way and do anything else…so the sudden shock of being entered so quickly, in this forceful way (even if she was already sexually active), causes her to lose her voice until long after it’s over, and it’s too late…

So maybe thirty or forty seconds later, after it’s done, this other alternative boyfriend quickly uncovers her mouth and tells her over and over how truly sorry he is. He says, he couldn’t help himself because she’s so “Damn beautiful!”

As she feels herself being gently touched everywhere, he keeps telling her over and over how beautiful she is. He tells her again and again, he’s so sorry, but he couldn’t resist her, and in a very small voice, from far away, she says she “understands”.

After a while, she starts to believe that maybe it was her fault for teasing him like this, and for inviting him in to the bathroom. Why didn’t she lock the door, she knows they’ll ask. And what did she expect would eventually happen, she thinks to herself.

She’s still sitting on his lap, and can’t help but think about how it feels, which makes her think about her mom’s chalk drawing…even though they’re sitting perfectly still.

In the dark, she can feel his sightless fingers slowly exploring her, everywhere. But when he very carefully touches her in this one place, it causes her to shake all over.

While he’s touching her, he’s continuing to whisper sweet nothings’ in her ear. So she closes her eyes and begins to drift away.

Despite the noisy fan, she can hear herself breathing deeply, and feels her body begin to relax, completely. She feels like she is falling in to some kind of tranquil trance…

Then with the other hand he leans forward and adds a little more hot water, as she opens and closes her eyes a few times, but still can’t see anything. She tries to imagine what it would be like to be completely blind.

A couple minutes later, he leans forward again and shuts off the water. Then Everything becomes perfectly still–

“This is so relaxing,” she thinks to herself, sitting in complete darkness, with nothing to think about except the gentle hum of the noisy ceiling fan.

Then, from far away, she feels something, and once again nature begins to take over. With no effort, she feels her body begin to sway, forward and back, and begins to respond–

five or ten minutes later, after she catches her breath, she thinks about the glass of ice water sitting by the sink, and wonders if she can reach it from here…without getting up.

Because of everything that happens that day, in the bathtub, and again a little later in her mom’s bed, she knows, or at least believes, she is completely and totally compromised into not ever saying anything about any of it to anyone, ever!

But back here in reality, none of this happened! But if I were the creep they claimed, it could have easily happened exactly this way. I had the perfect opportunity, and apparently, a very willing partner, but obviously, I didn’t have the motivation required to commit the act, ever. Yet three years later, this is exactly how they treated me.

So, every day I ask myself, why did her mom, and the State, accuse me three years later of having committed a serious sex crime against my girlfriend’s daughter (by allegedly trying to touch her breast in a sexual manner sometime in 2001 or 2002) way back when all this other crazy stuff was happening — when nothing I did, or intended to do, was ever sexual, or sexually motivated.

It sure seems mighty coincidental that the State didn’t come after me until after I had threatened to expose Christel for her own inappropriate sexual behavior around all the kids.

While we sat outside my apartment in Lake Oswego in the spring of 2004, just after returning from her “Ford Foundation Graduation Dinner”, I told her (and her youngest daughter who was listening from the back seat) I was planning to take our son to live in Florida, where my parents live. And that may have been all the motive all three of them needed to “get me!”

So I have to ask the question. Did her mom (or maybe someone else) give the oldest daughter the dumb idea of getting naked, getting into the tub, and filling it with bubbles? And then give her the really dumb idea of calling me in there to join her?

Was it only to test my character, or perhaps, was it someone who wanted (or needed) to get some dirt on me that could be used later, if needed?

And so who was it who had the really stupid idea of trying to get me to touch her young developing didi that morning, since I’m pretty sure that’s what the plan seem to be, since no one would be watching (except maybe a hidden camera)?

On the other hand, there may have been no camera any where. And it may have entirely been the older daughter’s idea. I don’t know, except why would her mother give her amorous daughter this perfect opportunity to fool around with her boyfriend, if she wanted to, especially after what had happened that afternoon on the couch?

Think about it, we were left completely alone by her mother for more than five hours that day, and there was plenty of time to do almost anything “we” (or I) wanted to do, and then get rid of the evidence (by washing the sheets and anything else that may have been stained with our bodily fluids).

But on the other hand, if setting up this “opportunity” actually was the daughter’s idea, alone, honestly, a part of me would be very flattered. It was obvious to everyone who saw her, and often said so, that she would grow up to be a very attractive young woman, just like her sex-crazed mom.

But the thing is, because of her young age when all this crazy sex stuff was happening, today, I am very concerned about what became of her (and her little brother and sister)–

Did her mom put her up to all of this, or was it her idea? I don’t know?

It’s true. Sometimes when they were flirting with me, in their silly big girl way, I would tease them back, but I never (intentionally) did anything sexual with either of them, ever.

The sad thing about this situation is that, if I had played it “right” (and never complained about their behavior, or questioned any of Christel’s affairs), I probably could have eventually done anything I wanted with the older daughter, as long as she wanted to– And then, maybe in a few more years, the younger one too–

Like too many of our judges and politicians, would I have also been blackmailed for life? Maybe that was the original plan, to let me have what “they” thought I wanted, but I just wouldn’t take the “bait”, as sweet as it seem to be, and as often as it was offered.

So to wrap up this chapter, let’s go back to the Marley letter one last time, and try to imagine what Christel may have been thinking when she decided to tell him some, but not all, of what was going on that night the three of us were in bed together, either naked or almost naked.

After all, Christel was telling the truth about this one incident in her letter to Marley, but not the whole truth. I was completely naked and did become aroused again after she unexpectedly brought her daughter into the bed with us and began touching me.

But maybe someone can explain this to me, I can’t understand why neither Detective Marley or Detective Oaes didn’t want to ask me any questions when they came over to allegedly “talk” the day before Thanksgiving, 2004. This is exactly why I will, and you should, never speak to any cops without one! And god help you if you can’t afford your own lawyer!

Along with my fake lawyer, Gregory Sholl, and a few of the judges friends, I think these cops are the real criminals we ought to be locking up, not some dumb blind guy with a deeply troubled spouse, who obviously needed some real professional help (Instead of a bunch of powerful horn dogs trying to get in to her panties and raise their percentage!).

Given all of this, the only reasonable explanation I can figure is that Christel would have included in her letter to Beaverton Detective Dennis Marley only part of what happened in the bedroom, but didn’t include anything about the afternoon on the couch or anything else, is that she may have been up to something that night. and she was afraid she would be caught if she didn’t tell her version first.

Remember, it’s always easier to convince someone of a lie, then it is to convince them that they’ve been lied to–

This is why I suspect that her oldest daughter knows something more about why her mother suddenly left her home with me (and why she decided to take a bath, and invite me into the bathroom).

And I suspect she knows something more about why her mother really brought her into our bed that night, knowing I was naked and already partially aroused.

If a grand jury ever had asked me these questions about what I knew or suspected about the oldest daughter’s sexual experience, or possible sexual abuse, this is what I would say:
Q: Do you think there was anything sexual going on between her and Rick or his boys?

A: It’s very possible something had been going on around or before that time, when Christel and I got together in early 2001. I noticed right away it was a very sexually-charged environment, and Christel told me they were regularly dosing the younger girl with benedrill in the evenings, to give Rick and her some sexual privacy.

So there were lots of opportunities for “any of them” to “fool around”, sexually.

Q: Do you think she was having intercourse with any of them any time during 2001 or before that?

A: It’s possible she was having, or had already had, intercourse with one of Rick’s boys. But that’s just a guess, based on the environment and opportunity.

Christel said Rick’s teenage boys had been exposed to a lot of explicit sexual material. And I understand the boys would often sleep over night in the living room with both of the girls, while the adults were upstairs.

Q: Do you think she had done anything sexual with her father?

A: Yes, very possible. For a lot of reasons.

Often, while sitting in his rocking chair he would tickle her and bounce her on his lap next to me. And there was something about her giggle and the way I could tell she kept looking over at me, which made me think she was feeling uncomfortable about what he was doing to her in front of me. How far was he willing to go in private, I did wonder a little.

Besides, since she was a developing ten-year-old girl and definitely not a toddler, the behavior I “witnessed” I suppose could be considered a form of sexual harassment, or maybe even sexual abuse.

I remember. he would stop for a minute or two, and then tickle her again, while we were all pretending to “watch” TV. Except this would always get her jumping around on his lap again, which made me a little uncomfortable. And like I said, I got this strong feeling that she didn’t want him doing it in front of me, for some reason.

Q: Do you think they had ever had intercourse?

A: It’s possible, but truthfully, I don’t know if anything like that ever happened. She often stayed over night with him and usually slept next to him, and there was definitely lots of opportunities I suppose if he got the urge and made it into some kind of “game” under the covers, after a few beers.

As described throughout this book, sometimes the older daughter was very shy, but then, other times she seemed very mature, sexually. On these occasions, she didn’t seem in the least bit shy about her own sexuality, when I was around.