“3 Americas: A Pearl Necklace for Christmas” (autobiography) WARNING: INCLUDES STRONG LANGUAGE AND EXPLICIT DESCRIPTIONS OF SEX AND IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR YOUNG READERS!

THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT why THE GOVERNMENT (and friends of AIPAC)
ARE TORTURING A COMPLETELY BLIND AMERICAN (and his dog)
IN PORTLAND, OREGON (i.e. Rotland, Oregoon)!
WHO KNOWS, MAYBE TO HIDE “THE SECRET” ABOUT THE SECRET…
Victor, Victoria?

(Read this excerpt first)
“iPhone Electric-Shock Weapons Seized by Australian Cops”
(
Before reading this chapter, first read this brief excerpt about the technology that is available if you want to electronically harass someone…especially if they’re blind!):
Taken from: Tech Media Network (Tom’s Guide)
Date of publication: May 2, 2014

“The iPhone is an inventive little gadget, and has probably shocked a few people over the years, but never quite like this. Australian officials have intercepted a shipment more than 6,000 weapons from China, including a batch of iPhone lookalikes that deliver a painful, potentially incapacitating electric shock.

According to a report and photographs provided by the Australian Customs and Border Protection Service, officers at the port of Melbourne seized the phony iPhones, which came with instructions labeling them as “iPhone 4 super ultra electronic thin riot” equipment, as well as brass knuckles, batons and shock weapons disguised as flashlights.”

(Last updated: July 15, 2018)
3 AMERICAS
by DR Wolfe

{As I continue a full revision, this is one of the new chapters from my revised autobiography, “3 Americas”.}

(Includes strong language and explicit descriptions of sex.)

A PEARL NECKLACE FOR CHRISTMAS

PART ONE:
Hearing the sound of someone softly knocking, I stopped typing and went to the door. It was my landlord, Phil.

“There’s a sheriff deputy here that wants to talk to you,” he said, but he didn’t know why.

I was to learn that my wife, Christel, had filed for divorce in Lane County. This would be the third time we, or she, had filed for divorce over the last three years. I concluded, this definitely meant we wouldn’t be working on the marriage.

Christel and I got married in the summer of 2002. Ironically, we were married by a Washington County judge. About a month later, we moved to southeast Portland, where we were living when Abraham was born on August 26, 2002.

Along with the divorce papers from Lane County, the deputy also gave me a stapled packet of exhibits that Christel had submitted to the Court along with her petition.

With some help, I began sorting through the paperwork. The first thing I discovered was that many of the alphabetically marked exhibits were missing. However, perhaps accidentally, she did include an exhibit which sounded like a written confession, dated two and a half years earlier — October 2004, addressed to Beaverton Detective Dennis Marley.

In one paragraph it described what would seem to be a sex crime knowingly committed by her against her oldest daughter in 2001 while we shared an apartment in Beaverton, Oregon.

Using my screen reading software, as I began to read the letter she sent to this detective in 2004, I began seriously thinking about the night she was referring to in her letter. It was a very weird night, as I recall. It was in the fall of 2001. But it wasn’t the only time things got weird around Christel… But maybe that night was a lot more weird than I ever knew–

This exhibit — a 2004 letter to Detective Dennis Marley, was submitted to the Lane County Circuit Court as an attachment to her petition. Therefore, it was submitted, along with all the other attachments, as being a truthful sworn affidavit. This means it is a permanent public record.

Because of that, our constitution provides that anyone accused in a court of law of committing a crime or any wrong-doing, as her hidden letter to the police suggests, has a legal right to publicly defend themselves. This is a natural law granted to every American under both our state and federal constitutions.

Since I can’t afford a team of lawyers, and I have no guns, my disabilities leave me very few options as to how to respond to this personal attack questioning my morality. Of course, this time I won’t leave my fate to a government paid lawyer!

As you read my version of what happened that night — finding myself naked in bed with my girlfriend’s pre-teenage daughter, with an erection, the facts will speak for themselves as to who was responsible for these circumstances… Sounds pretty bad for me, doesn’t it? But the devil, as they say, is always in the details.

This new evidence — the 2004 mysterious letter to Dennis Marley, does prove that the cops and the prosecutor, Robert W. Herman, were protecting my wife. They had one goal; they only wanted to discredit me. So they kept Christel out of every conversation, including the fact that this letter proves she was the one who brought her oldest daughter into the bed with us where we had just been making love.

So what was her true intent that chilli winter night? I always wanted to think it was just a lapse in judgement on her part, and not a personal, up close lesson in sexual practices and techniques designed for her daughter’s education. Unknowingly, or unexpectedly, I participated in several of these up close lessons I feel compelled to talk about now.

As I continued to read her letter, I thought to myself, why in hell would she write and sign this confession and send it to a cop? I hadn’t said anything about that strange situation to anyone, not to mention a few other equally troubling incidents — finding myself naked in bed with her and her eleven-year-old daughter with an erection, or getting an erotic lap dance from each of her daughters, who were both completely naked!

Christel was always doing this crazy sex stuff with me, including sometimes while her girls were either watching or being encouraged to participate. And this is why Detective Marley, Bob Hermann and a few people from Clackamas County didn’t ever want this case to go to court. And they were willing to do anything to make sure of it…

Despite what happened to her as a young girl, I always wanted to believe Christel would be okay and grow out of this sort of thrill seeking. And I truly hoped we would eventually settle down and become a “normal” family. But the system isn’t designed to help families. That’s obvious.

Because of my initiative, in the fall of 2001 we started getting couple counseling at the Templeton House, but as soon as we started talking about our sex life Christel made some excuse for not ever wanting to go back there. This is because she didn’t want them to know about these crazy sex games–

Like, one time in the middle of the night while we had been drinking wine she took me to the nun’s graveyard at Marylhurst University to have sex in this building, that was a kind of mausoleum. She seemed excited when she told me there were ‘dead nuns all around us, watching!’

And her sudden decision that late fall evening to bring her sexually-curious daughter into our bed, despite that we had just been having a romantic moment, wasn’t a complete shock, when it happened. Although, I remember feeling disappointed and a little frustrated.

I told Christel some time shortly after this happened, that I would appreciate it if she would make sure that neither of her girls would ever be allowed to sleep in the bed with us at night, even if her last boyfriend, Rick, didn’t mind.

Often she would complain about Rick’s vast collection of pornography and his “pornography problem”, and his bad teeth. I suspect she didn’t mind the porn as much as she pretended.

And I know the girls got to look at a lot of it since I suspect Rick put some of it on their mom’s computer under a folder called “Sloppy Seconds”, and readily available
on the desktop, directly below the link to their favorite computer game! Not only did Christel’s girls have easy access to lots of sexually explicit material, but all of their friends were able to view it as well, without any supervision. It’s no wonder they were both already extremely curious about sex when I first started seeing their mom.

I’m going to jump ahead in this story, and all the explicit details, but I’m going to tell you now that I know why Christel needed to get me to do something inappropriate with her older daughter. And I’ll explain why she did everything, and I mean everything, to make this happen. Although I didn’t understand it at the time, but every day she was carefully grooming both of us to become interested in pursuing these opportunities (to become sexually involved), at least once–

As I’ll explain below, both of the girls seemed very interested in their mom’s sex life, and apparently enjoyed watching. You know, this isn’t normal, especially for a ten-year-old girl.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but usually kids by this age are completely grossed out by the thought of their parents having sex. And I’m pretty sure this is even more true among young girls.

So maybe, before we met, something had been happening at night, while they were all in bed together. And if Christel didn’t do anything to stop it from happening, and had encouraged them by getting them to first take off their clothes, as she did several times while we were together, a part of her must have been very worried about someday being caught, and being prosecuted!

Maybe it only involved some inappropriate touching, and maybe letting them watch the adults, it would still be a serious sex crime anywhere in America. So maybe Christel needed some way out. Maybe her and Rick figured out that they needed some other man to do something worse with one of her girls, and most likely the older one.

According to Christel, Rick and her had been regularly dosing her younger daughter with benedrill at night. So, after the younger one is asleep, there may have been more serious things going on between the three of them.

It might explain why they both felt fairly confident that they would eventually be able to get me to try to have sex with the older girl, who apparently had started to develop, sexually, some time in 2001.

Knowing what I know now, it appears the the two of them figured by doing this — getting me to have sex with the older girl, who was barely eleven, it would take the focus off of their own crimes.

When they did this, were they planning to get back together once I was successfully labeled the “villain” and a “convicted child molester?” They all made darn sure I never got to face a jury of my peers, or confront the evidence against me.

So ask yourself, does this sound kind of weird? When we first started seeing each other, Rick lived down the street and knew I was coming over and staying the night, but never interrupted us. The girls told me he was also staying over their house at least two nights a week.

Think about it, he never once ever showed up unexpectedly while I was there. Wouldn’t you think most men would want to meet their rival, at least once?

Imagine your a guy whose girlfriend says, ‘she wants to see other people’. And she’s still sleeping with you (this former boyfriend), just for old time sakes. And then this old boyfriend finds out she’s seeing some blind guy.

Wouldn’t you think most normal guys wouldn’t try to do something to get them to break up? Like, maybe catching him one time on the way home and then maybe saying something to intimidate or discourage the other “man”? It’s not like this blind guy could identify the old boyfriend, or ever prove anything–

Ask yourself, wouldn’t you think most guys would show up at their old girlfriend’s door a few times when this other guy’s over there (getting some)? At least try to disrupt their perfect little love nest? He could always say it was an honest mistake, and that he had been drinking and had forgotten which night it was.

At least, this way he would be able to let me know the old boyfriend had a key and was still coming around. That would definitely discourage most guys. So why wouldn’t he want to do anything to break us up? Just like the confession, this should also make absolutely no sense…that is, if you’re a guy?

So let me make this perfectly clear, even though every straight guy out there already gets it. Pu it this way, if Rick had used his key and walked in on us while we were in bed, and then apologized and left (just like Vice-Principal Overway did when he walked in on me and the special ed teacher alone in the ice cream room).

If Rick had ever walked in on us, I promise I would have never went back there. Simply because his presence would prove Christel had been lying to me all along, about them breaking up and what she had been doing all those nights she wouldn’t answer the phone.

So if you’re the “ex” boyfriend, and you had been getting this really “good pussy” (and it definitely was among the best I ever knew), why wouldn’t he try to do something to discourage this blind guy from coming around?

Ask yourself, how hard would it be for anyone to terrorize (or frame) a blind person? I can tell you, because of what these Lucifarians from Oregoon have done to me here at the ‘Southgate Death Camp’ over the last nine years. Including being constantly shocked at night and being sprayed with some kind of liquid mist, now apparently their putting open cans of paint under my RV or maybe next to my window at night (although it may be spray paint I’m smelling), and may be just a coincidence…but I don’t think so. But this is how terrorism works, keeping your helpless victim in a constant state of terror–

Because of this never ending harassment, I know it only takes a few extremely sick souls to do something as evil as this to a completely, vulnerable person. And as Lavoy and many others know, this valley located in central Oregon is completely controlled by these demonic dead souls!

So back to the set up. Think about this, men will often kill another man to keep a “woman” they want, but Rick didn’t seem to mind I was doing his “girlfriend”.

Did they just think it weas funny, kind of like the computer icon Rick put on her computer, “Sloppy Seconds”, or did they have another agenda, or another problem, on their mind?

Because of an incident I describe below that happened around the 4th of July, I definitely know Rick had a key to her door, and as I said, could have easily walked in on us any time he wanted. but he never did…

But consider this, was it because he had no other choice, if he wanted to keep himself, and maybe one or both of his teenage boys, out of prison because of the older daughter and something that had been happening inside the duplex on Lawnridge, late at night?

Later that summer, Christel transferred from the University of Oregon in Eugene to Marylhurst University, near Portland. I didn’t understand why at the time, but she decided to moved to Beaverton, where coincidentally Rick had also recently moved.

Did too many neighbors know too much about them, and they were worried that their plan to frame me would likely be exposed? If their plan was going to work, maybe they decided they needed some new neighbors who didn’t know anything about their past.

As I write about below, I know she never stopped seeing Rick, along with a few other men. So the bedroom community of Beaverton , along with “Dufess Marley”, gave them the perfect place to set me up and cover up their crimes.

It was the perfect place to make me the “bad guy”, as “Dufess Oaes” put it, and destroy my life…and eventually steal my kid!

So when I learned about this letter, in retrospect I think she may have had some other inappropriate intentions that night, that is, given what I know personally about her unquenchable sexual appetite, her desire to follow her thrills, and her need to explore new things whenever possible. And more importantly, maybe her desperate need to cover up her role in the molestation of one, and maybe both, of her daughters.

Besides pursuing a serious relationship with a woman with two young daughters and no healthy boundaries, the biggest mistake I ever made since coming to Oregon in 1998 was agreeing to talk to a cop. I made the mistake of letting Marley and Oaes come in and agreeing to listen to what they had to say, hoping I could make them understand how it was living with someone like this, as a blind guy. After a few minutes it became obvious they could care less about hearing the truth–

Marley did all the talking. Only thing I remember Oaes saying was something about going to see some little kids in Corvallis, Oregon, and teaching them about “bad guys”, which sounded kind of creepy to me, given the context of our meeting

As I said, these two knuckleheads weren’t interested in learning the truth. Their sole objective was to entrap me into saying something they might be able to twist in front of a secret grand jury, since there would be no chance to present my side before I would be arrested.

By setting someone’s bail high enough ( for me that was $250,000), they can easily hold a person in jail for over a year, awaiting trial.

I realize, even before I was arrested, this was the plan all along, unless I agreed to accept a plea bargain which they knew would destroy my credibility and my life.

The system is designed to force all poor, accused defendants to accept a plea bargain, guilty or not. My case clearly shows the cops and the persecutors care nothing about justice or truth, the only thing that matters is being right in the eyes of the public and the media.

Along with abolishing all police unions (who have the power to kill you with impunity), abolishing the grand jury system I feel is key to creating a fair, equitable criminal justice system. I have some hope the grand jury process as it’s being used today may some day be found to violate the Oregon State Constitution, which in many ways is stronger than the federal constitution. This may be the only way to fix this problem, given the legislature’s own complicity in maintaining the status quo.

Specifically, the grand jury process unfairly targets minorities and persons of low income, while almost never holding public officials accountable for wrong doing because of what is clearly a conflict of interest between the prosecutors and certain government officials, such as the police. This is because the cops regularly testify on behalf of the state and collectively punish DA’s who attempt to hold them accountable.

While there may be some positive changes coming under a 2017 revision to the grand jury process, it’s complete secrecy and complete prosecutorial bias, along with a lack of having any formal record of the proceedings (other than some juror’s notes), only further the efforts of dishonest “witnesses” who are willing, black mailed, or offered some consideration to join in the persecutor’s long, winding, twisted tail–>

Any reasonable person must ask why in the hell would these two detectives come all the way out to my home in another county and not ask me anything about Christel’s letter — why wouldn’t they ask me about being naked in bed with my girlfriend’s young, sexually curious daughter with an erection? Can you imagine the headline had they arrested both of us for this!

“BEAVERTON COUPLE BRINGS BLOOMING DAUGHTER TO BED,
FOR LATE NIGHT SNACK!”

If they had at least tried to do the right thing and arrested both of us, they probably knew what might happen…once my side of the story was told, as I’ve done here, and the public learned the whole truth. They knew she would be the one ultimately held responsible by the jury for encouraging her daughters to play simulated sex games with me, as I will explain.

But like most cops and most lawyers who will do or say anything to win a case — to hell with the truth, Marley and the Washington County persecutors were no exception to this rule.

Christel told me that when she was subpoenaed to appear before the grand jury on December 30, 2004, Marley and the DDA, Greg Olson, who was suspended by the Oregon BAR in 2006 for a similarly deceitful practice, pulled her into an office and encouraged her to lie to the grand jury. They told her to say I had hit her. This wasn’t true and she wouldn’t go along with it, and told me all about it that evening.

She did lie to me about one thing, telling me that the grand jury had not yet come to a decision as to whether or not to indite me.

curiously, she did feel it was important to mention that an Hispanic man on the grand jury had asked her if I was “really blind?” As I recall, she never did say what she told him, and I always assumed she was truthful…but what if that was part of the plan (to get me out of the picture); the plan to mislead the grand jury about my total blindness (other than light perception)?

For the record, when I was eleven-years-old my brother and I were subjected to two days of these strange brain test, some of which I don’t remember. When the tests were evaluated, Dr. Richard A. Lewis, from the University of Michigan Medical Center wrote a report which said that my older brother and I had a degenerative eye condition called Retinitis Pigmentosa. He went on to say that our prognosis was to both be completely blind within the next ten years.

Even though my brother had fairly good vision at the time, and even legally drove for a couple years, I was already legally blind by that time and lost the rest of my useable vision at eighteen. My older brother was lucky enough to not go blind until his mid-twenties.

As far as having ever been physically violent with her, Christel knows, I have never, ever intentionally harmed her, other than speaking the truth. It’s true, I may have stepped on her toe or accidentally bumped her head a few times. But the fact is, I adored every inch of her perfect body and always, always touched her in the most loving way possible. Even if our angry words were sometimes unusually cruel.

Apparently, neither Olson, Marley or the Washington County Prosecutor, Bob Herman, ever turned this 2004 letter addressed to Marley, a critical piece of evidence, over to my appointed attorney, Public Defender Gregory Sholl.

In a fair legal process, this intentional deception by the police and the prosecutors — hiding exculpatory evidence (which they do all the time), would be enough grounds for dismissing my coerced plea bargain — a deal I made with the devil to get out of Sheriff Rob Gordon’s dungeon, after being placed in solitary confinement for almost two weeks [up to 23.75 hours per day, and some days it was 24.0 hours per day], and then being placed in a cell with a convicted murderer with Hepatitis C, who claimed to have killed a previous cell mate.
(See, “3 Americas: 42 Days in Bob Hermann Monster’s Isolation Dungeon and the Coerced Plea Bargain”)

But I’m not the only Oregon man with a disability who has been intentionally put into these sort of dangerous situations over the last decade by the state ranked number one by one publication in 2015 for abusing people with disabilities:
1. James Chasse, a severely mentally disabled man, was stomped to death by Portland Police for urinating on a sidewalk in a wealthy neighborhood [see the documentary “Alien Boy”].

Then, as internal and federal investigations continued, the police union arranged to have over 650 Portland cops march through the streets with union bought t-shirts declaring their support for the officer responsible (who later became the Sheriff of Wheeler County, Oregon).

As planned, this intimidated many of Portland’s disabled citizens who were being asked to submit their own personal experiences involving the police to the Department of Justice and U.S. District Judge Michael J. Simon;

II. According to a 2014 report from Disability Rights Oregon, it is estimated that almost half of Oregon’s incarcerated population is made up of men with disabilities, although the State intentionally keeps extremely poor records documenting this specific demographic. For this reason, and their obvious vulnerability, mentally and physically disabled men in prison and jail are more often the victims of acts of violence and extortion, estimated in just Oregon to be over 4,000 per year;

III. Just as I was put in with a convicted murderer by Washington County in 2005, who I believe was told to intentionally intimidate me, a Portland man [Michael Hagen] was also intentionally put into a cell with what appears to be another dangerous “Zionist-controlled” psychopath (also posing as a white supremacist ) at the Snake River Correctional Institute. This murderer had already threaten to kill Hagen, yet that’s who they put Hagen in with– Isn’t this what we call “pre-meditated murder”?

Just so you know, Hagen wasn’t a nice man, and may be deserved to be roughed up. For no reason, he beat up a young, innocent female clerk with a club and badly injured her, while under the influence of meth. This is as senseless as it gets and I’m not defending what he did by including this hauntingly similar situation, set up by the same “correction creeps” from Oregon.

Sergeant Brown was that the plan? Was I supposed to also be murdered by a cell mate, who bragged about having already killed a previous cell mate? Why would you put a completely blind man in a cell with a convicted murderer? In my case, it was obviously “pre-meditated”, even if it was only done to intimidate me. It could have just as easily also led to my murder…

Nevertheless, make no mistake, Hagen was exactly where he was supposed to be, serving his time, for a very long time, and maybe not long enough.

But just like Madaline Pitkin and me, he deserved to be protected by the state. And if you read my version of the truth, and compare it to what Hagen actually did, what they did to him wasn’t near as grossly negligent as what they did to me — putting a blind, partially-deaf man, who was still innocent (until proven guilty), in with a convicted murderer and encouraging the murderer to threaten and intimidate the blind man so “they” could get another easy plea bargain. Can you imagine how easily this arrangement could have gone very wrong?

Even though Hagen told guards he felt this man was intending to harm him, and despite a promise from the Correction Department to transfer him to another prison, Hagen was moved directly from solitary confinement into a cell with this same man. Not surprisingly, the man killed him a day later.

According to Hagen’s wife, prison guards ignored Hagen’s screams for help, just as they had ignored both Madaline Pitkin and me;

IV. A mentally disabled man, with an I.Q. below 70, was removed from Oregon’s death row by former-State Attorney General John Kroger about ten years ago. And another mentally disabled man recently won the right to a new trial based on the exact same facts; despite being legally “retarded” he was placed on death row by the Oregon criminal injustice system, a ruthless county persecutor, and the “liberal” former-governor. Not to mention his typical public pretender, who the Supreme Court ruled a few years ago could sleep during the trial if he or she wanted, without violating the defendant’s right to “effective counsel”.

Along with having some of the most deceitful, dishonest persecutors in America, here’s another example of just how rigged Oregon’s criminal injustice system really is

Along with Louisiana, the State of Oregon only needs ten of the twelve jurors to convict a defendant. This way, with a little help from the public pretender and a crooked judge, getting a convictions of any poor person the state wants to target is fairly easy.

My fake lawyer, Gregory Troll, assured me I would spend the next year in jail if I didn’t agree to take his dirty plea bargain. But had my case gone to court, I suspect both Greg Olson and Greg Sholl would have been disbarred for their misconduct…but then again, as I describe in another chapter The Oregon BAR is probably just as corrupt as the lawyers they pretend to supervise.

Judge van Dyk (along with a judge named Angel Lopez, who helped this lady screwed me out of the title for my RV) once worked at the BAR helping women and certain minorities get “jobs”.

The fact is, across America men with disabilities, like the poor and some other minorities, are often targeted by unscrupulous cops and narrow-minded persecutors, rather than the actual wrongdoers, for many reasons. It’s all about going after the low hanging fruit rather then climbing to the top of the tree and going after the Wall Street banksters, which takes a lot more time, energy, and money.

Seeking out the truth also takes some courage, because sometimes you don’t find the answer you expected, or maybe wanted, especially when there’s a paycheck or a hot young lady involved–

Christel’s withheld written confession and the book of pornography she shared with her girls, clearly document her role as the primary instigator in this case. Her words and actions were instrumental in creating a sexually charged environment around her children and her male partners. And her complete immunity from having any responsibility in any of this, while charging me with a Measure 11 offense [with a minimum of seven years in prison] for having allegedly touched the oldest daughter’s breast in a sexual manner was both selective and discriminatory. Yet another example of police corruption and prosecutorial misconduct throughout Oregon and America.

My treatment clearly documents a clear pattern and practice of an ongoing abuse of power among the lawyers working under the authority of the Washington County District Attorney, Bob Herman.

Despite overwhelming evidence of a practice of systemic discrimination against people with disabilities and other indigent defendants by this county’s jail and prosecutors, the State BAR and the legislature do nothing!

So imagine your a cop, but not just any rookie cop, but rather an experienced detective with all sorts of investigative tools and skills at your fingertips. And you get a letter from this thirty-two-year-old, sexy white mom which includes a short paragraph describing how she had brought her pre-pubescent eleven-year-old daughter into the bed with her naked boyfriend, who she claims became aroused only after the little girl climbs into the bed. and ask yourself, wouldn’t you ask at least a couple more questions about this to the mom?

After all, it would be a good excuse to go see her during the day, while the kids were away…

Like:
Was this normal for you and the boyfriend to do this, I mean bring the little girl into the bed with you two at night?

You say here you knew he was already naked? Is that right?

And, if I can be personal for a minute, exactly what were you wearing before you brought the little girl into the bed with your naked boyfriend?

And you say here, you got out of the bed when she knocked, and instead of going into the little girl’s bedroom with her like you usually do? Instead you brought her into your bed with you and the naked boyfriend? did I get this part right?

And your also saying he didn’t become aroused at all, laying there with you dressed like that with no panties, until after you brought the little girl into the bed with you and him? Do I got all of this right?

But in all honesty, I’m sure no detective, and so maybe there’s some sort of long-term strategy in not asking these sort of hard questions, after reading a signed confession like this… Like maybe getting into the “good graces” with the hot, white mom, and who knows, maybe hooking up later when the case is over? That might explain why Marley put the book of pornography (purchased by the Ford Foundation) back down on my oldest step-daughter’s shelf that lazy fall afternoon and offered the lady a deal she couldn’t refuse–

It sounds a lot like what Portland Police Officer Jeromie Palaoro did in 2015 at 3:30 a.m. when he went to the hotel room of a traumatized, female domestic violence victim. He had met her while on duty a few hours earlier and kept texting her, saying “I know I shouldn’t be doing this.” Then after telling her twice “Remember, I write the report”, he unexpectedly pulled a gun out of a bag and through it on the table and took off his clothes, and told her to start rubbing him.

Rather than being charged with kidnapping, false imprisonment, aggravated sexual assault, and brandishing a weapon during the commission of a crime, and being labeled as a registered sex offender for life, as Maxine Bernstein’s July 22, 2015 Oregonean article clearly documents should have been the case, he was only charged with “official misconduct”!

In Maxine’s article, the victim describes at least three separate sexual assaults committed against her by Officer Palaoro in the presence of a weapon, which the victim said she felt was an ‘implied threat of violence’ if she didn’t do as he said.

Instead, The Multnomah District Attorney Rod Underhill and DDA Chris Ramris, arranged a very special plea bargain for this cop in which Palaoro can’t be a police officer again. But this only applies to the state of Oregon. Oh, and he has to do an entire 18 months of “supervised” probation.

Of course, this means being watched by mostly former-cops, some of whom we know were kicked off the force for having a drinking problem or using excessive force on the job.

Want to guess what job Officer Palaoro will be doing next? Monitoring (and assaulting) alleged sex offenders for the county (who couldn’t afford private attorneys)?

Since there would be no serious consequences if caught, maybe the deal Marley offered Christel included ignoring the book of pornography and stashing her letter of confession far, far away somewhere in the back of a file cabinet where only he could find it (Like they did with the first sexual assault complaint filed against Ward Weaver by his son’s teenage girlfriend, before he went on to kill two other teenage girls.).

And maybe when Detective Marley first read Christel’s confession he knew immediately that he had been implicated by her. Simply by mentioning this one night she brought her daughter into bed with her naked boyfriend. He wonders what else happened that night that she isn’t telling, but his hands are tied… So he arranges it so that his friends at the DA’s Office and the county Jail to torture me to get a plea bargain, and keep the case out of court…or at least, until our divorce/custody trial?
(See below: “Open Letter to Sheriff Hanlen Over UCC Professors Trading Sex for Grades”)

It took me years to figure this all out. I suspect she had already seduced him (by playing the helpless victim). Then, if he asks her anything about her letter or why she brought her daughter into bed with us, she would make sure his career as a dirty cop was over, and probably blame him for the letter. So, while they’re fucking each other, they both agree to fuck me instead!

PART TWO:
I had been in bed for about an hour before Christel came into the bedroom. I was completely naked, like I always was.

She liked to stay up late and work on her art. And then, when she did come to bed she liked to discover me that way, warm and naked under the blanket, waiting for her.

She would quickly slip under the covers and tightly wrap her arms around me, as though I were a life preserver waiting to rescue her from the cold, vicious world. At those moments, it seemed like everything between us was perfect!

That night, when I heard her open the door I didn’t say a word, I just laid there and listened. I heard her slip off her clothes and toss them into the corner. Then I imagined her slipping into her short nightie, with nothing underneath. As she usually did.

She sat down at her desk and began brushing her hair. I listened to her slowly pull the brush down through it and thought about How much i loved to run my fingers through this amazingly soft, long beautiful hair while we made love.

Facing her desk, I waited patiently under the blanket. And it was just a few minutes later when she slid her slender body into the bed next to me.

As I Turned toward her, we slid our arms around each other and began to kiss.

While I can’t remember exactly everything we were doing before it happened, or exactly how we were wrapped together, but I do remember for sure she wasn’t wearing any panties. This meant she was available if I was interested. And I was almost always interested in making love to her.

As I continued reading her letter, I thought more about what we had been doing that night. As I began to remember it, I recall we were going to make love, but she said or did something to let me know she wasn’t quite ready to have intercourse. I think I began to move on top of her, and then I stopped, and let my body fall back along side of her.

We had an understanding about making love. She always knew it was okay to let me know when she wanted or needed more time, or wanted to change positions, since she knew I enjoyed helping her get more ready, just as much as I enjoyed being inside.

It had only been about ten or fifteen minutes or so since she came to bed and I wasn’t usually in any hurry since there was never a doubt what was going to eventually happen. She knew that even if it was a “quickly”, it probably wasn’t going to be the last time that night I would want to pleasure her. I only needed a little encouragement.

As I remember, I settled in next to her, and began to use my fingers to please her gently, the way she liked, when a hurried, anxious knock came from the bedroom door.

Christel quickly pulled away from me and rushed to the door, almost as though she were expecting it. It was her older daughter, I heard saying, “Mommy”?

Startled by the way Christel so quickly jumped out of the bed, I hurriedly wrapped the blanket around me, and curled up into a ball, pretending to be asleep.

Next, I heard her open the door. Maybe they said something to each other, but I didn’t hear what they said. I did hear the door close pretty quickly and figured Christel and her went into the girls room to lay down for a little while, like she almost always did when they came to the door. Sometimes she would get them something to eat or drink, and then send them back to bed without her.

But instead, a moment later, I felt both of their bodies fall into the bed next to me.

I was laying on my right side, facing Christel, who was now facing away from me, toward her daughter. A few minutes later Christel slid closer to me and moved her body up against mine.

Since getting into bed, Christel and her daughter only said a few words to each other, and I said nothing. But I could tell Her daughter was just a few inches away from us, facing her mom.

It didn’t occur to me at the time, but since getting her letter to Marley I have wondered why Christel didn’t grab part of the blanket and cover herself that night since she was wearing almost nothing. She could have easily covered the two of them, if she wanted. It was kind of chilly, around November I think. And it was a large blanket that would have easily covered all three of us and the entire queen size bed with some blanket to spare.

As we lay there, mine and Christel’s bodies naturally squeezed together, even tighter, like “Magnet and Steel.”

I remember feeling her small, round bottom pressing up against me; I was still partly aroused from what we were doing a few minutes earlier, and the sensation of her whole body leaning against me was an instant reminder. THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT why THE GOVERNMENT (and friends of AIPAC)
ARE TORTURING A COMPLETELY BLIND AMERICAN (and his dog)
IN PORTLAND, OREGON (i.e. Rotland, Oregoon)!
WHO KNOWS, MAYBE TO HIDE “THE SECRET” ABOUT THE SECRET…
Victor, Victoria?

(Read this excerpt first)
“iPhone Electric-Shock Weapons Seized by Australian Cops”
(
Before reading this chapter, first read this brief excerpt about the technology that is available if you want to electronically harass someone…especially if they’re blind!):
Taken from: Tech Media Network (Tom’s Guide)
Date of publication: May 2, 2014

“The iPhone is an inventive little gadget, and has probably shocked a few people over the years, but never quite like this. Australian officials have intercepted a shipment more than 6,000 weapons from China, including a batch of iPhone lookalikes that deliver a painful, potentially incapacitating electric shock.

According to a report and photographs provided by the Australian Customs and Border Protection Service, officers at the port of Melbourne seized the phony iPhones, which came with instructions labeling them as “iPhone 4 super ultra electronic thin riot” equipment, as well as brass knuckles, batons and shock weapons disguised as flashlights.”

(Last updated: June 27, 2018)
3 AMERICAS
by DR Wolfe

{As I continue a full revision, this is one of the new chapters from my revised autobiography, “3 Americas”.}

(Includes strong language and explicit descriptions of sex.)

A PEARL NECKLACE FOR CHRISTMAS

PART ONE:
Hearing the sound of someone softly knocking, I stopped typing and went to the door. It was my landlord, Phil.

“There’s a sheriff deputy here that wants to talk to you,” he said, but he didn’t know why.

I was to learn that my wife, Christel, had filed for divorce in Lane County. This would be the third time we, or she, had filed for divorce over the last three years. I concluded, this definitely meant we wouldn’t be working on the marriage.

Christel and I got married in the summer of 2002. Ironically, we were married by a Washington County judge. About a month later, we moved to southeast Portland, where we were living when Abraham was born on August 26, 2002.

Along with the divorce papers from Lane County, the deputy also gave me a stapled packet of exhibits that Christel had submitted to the Court along with her petition.

With some help, I began sorting through the paperwork. The first thing I discovered was that many of the alphabetically marked exhibits were missing. However, perhaps accidentally, she did include an exhibit which sounded like a written confession, dated two and a half years earlier — October 2004, addressed to Beaverton Detective Dennis Marley.

In one paragraph it described what would seem to be a sex crime knowingly committed by her against her oldest daughter in 2001 while we shared an apartment in Beaverton, Oregon.

Using my screen reading software, as I began to read the letter she sent to this detective in 2004, I began seriously thinking about the night she was referring to in her letter. It was a very weird night, as I recall. It was in the fall of 2001. But it wasn’t the only time things got weird around Christel… But maybe that night was a lot more weird than I ever knew–

This exhibit — a 2004 letter to Detective Dennis Marley, was submitted to the Lane County Circuit Court as an attachment to her petition. Therefore, it was submitted, along with all the other attachments, as being a truthful sworn affidavit. This means it is a permanent public record.

Because of that, our constitution provides that anyone accused in a court of law of committing a crime or any wrong-doing, as her hidden letter to the police suggests, has a legal right to publicly defend themselves. This is a natural law granted to every American under both our state and federal constitutions.

Since I can’t afford a team of lawyers, and I have no guns, my disabilities leave me very few options as to how to respond to this personal attack questioning my morality. Of course, this time I won’t leave my fate to a government paid lawyer!

As you read my version of what happened that night — finding myself naked in bed with my girlfriend’s pre-teenage daughter, with an erection, the facts will speak for themselves as to who was responsible for these circumstances… Sounds pretty bad for me, doesn’t it? But the devil, as they say, is always in the details.

This new evidence — the 2004 mysterious letter to Dennis Marley, does prove that the cops and the prosecutor, Robert W. Herman, were protecting my wife. They had one goal; they only wanted to discredit me. So they kept Christel out of every conversation, including the fact that this letter proves she was the one who brought her oldest daughter into the bed with us where we had just been making love.

So what was her true intent that chilli winter night? I always wanted to think it was just a lapse in judgement on her part, and not a personal, up close lesson in sexual practices and techniques designed for her daughter’s education. Unknowingly, or unexpectedly, I participated in several of these up close lessons I feel compelled to talk about now.

As I continued to read her letter, I thought to myself, why in hell would she write and sign this confession and send it to a cop? I hadn’t said anything about that strange situation to anyone, not to mention a few other equally troubling incidents — finding myself naked in bed with her and her eleven-year-old daughter with an erection, or getting an erotic lap dance from each of her daughters, who were both completely naked!

Christel was always doing this crazy sex stuff with me, including sometimes while her girls were either watching or being encouraged to participate. And this is why Detective Marley, Bob Hermann and a few people from Clackamas County didn’t ever want this case to go to court. And they were willing to do anything to make sure of it…

Despite what happened to her as a young girl, I always wanted to believe Christel would be okay and grow out of this sort of thrill seeking. And I truly hoped we would eventually settle down and become a “normal” family. But the system isn’t designed to help families. That’s obvious.

Because of my initiative, in the fall of 2001 we started getting couple counseling at the Templeton House, but as soon as we started talking about our sex life Christel made some excuse for not ever wanting to go back there. This is because she didn’t want them to know about these crazy sex games–

Like, one time in the middle of the night while we had been drinking wine she took me to the nun’s graveyard at Marylhurst University to have sex in this building, that was a kind of mausoleum. She seemed excited when she told me there were ‘dead nuns all around us, watching!’

And her sudden decision that late fall evening to bring her sexually-curious daughter into our bed, despite that we had just been having a romantic moment, wasn’t a complete shock, when it happened. Although, I remember feeling disappointed and a little frustrated.

I told Christel some time shortly after this happened, that I would appreciate it if she would make sure that neither of her girls would ever be allowed to sleep in the bed with us at night, even if her last boyfriend, Rick, didn’t mind.

Often she would complain about Rick’s vast collection of pornography and his “pornography problem”, and his bad teeth. I suspect she didn’t mind the porn as much as she pretended.

And I know the girls got to look at a lot of it since I suspect Rick put some of it on their mom’s computer under a folder called “Sloppy Seconds”, and readily available
on the desktop, directly below the link to their favorite computer game! Not only did Christel’s girls have easy access to lots of sexually explicit material, but all of their friends were able to view it as well, without any supervision. It’s no wonder they were both already extremely curious about sex when I first started seeing their mom.

I’m going to jump ahead in this story, and all the explicit details, but I’m going to tell you now that I know why Christel needed to get me to do something inappropriate with her older daughter. And I’ll explain why she did everything, and I mean everything, to make this happen. Although I didn’t understand it at the time, but every day she was carefully grooming both of us to become interested in pursuing these opportunities (to become sexually involved), at least once–

As I’ll explain below, both of the girls seemed very interested in their mom’s sex life, and apparently enjoyed watching. You know, this isn’t normal, especially for a ten-year-old girl.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but usually kids by this age are completely grossed out by the thought of their parents having sex. And I’m pretty sure this is even more true among young girls.

So maybe, before we met, something had been happening at night, while they were all in bed together. And if Christel didn’t do anything to stop it from happening, and had encouraged them by getting them to first take off their clothes, as she did several times while we were together, a part of her must have been very worried about someday being caught, and being prosecuted!

Maybe it only involved some inappropriate touching, and maybe letting them watch the adults, it would still be a serious sex crime anywhere in America. So maybe Christel needed some way out. Maybe her and Rick figured out that they needed some other man to do something worse with one of her girls, and most likely the older one.

According to Christel, Rick and her had been regularly dosing her younger daughter with benedrill at night. So, after the younger one is asleep, there may have been more serious things going on between the three of them.

It might explain why they both felt fairly confident that they would eventually be able to get me to try to have sex with the older girl, who apparently had begun to mature, physically, and apparently told one of them that she had a crush on me.

Knowing what I know now, it appears the the two of them figured by doing this — getting me to have sex with the older girl, who was barely eleven, it would take the focus off of their own crimes.

When they did this, were they planning to get back together once I was successfully labeled the “villain” and a “convicted child molester?” They all made darn sure I never got to face a jury of my peers, or confront the evidence against me.

So ask yourself, does this sound kind of weird? When we first started seeing each other, Rick lived down the street and knew I was coming over and staying the night, but never interrupted us. The girls told me he was also staying over their house at least two nights a week.

Think about it, he never once ever showed up unexpectedly while I was there. Wouldn’t you think most men would want to meet their rival, at least once?

Imagine your a guy whose girlfriend says, ‘she wants to see other people’. And she’s still sleeping with you (this former boyfriend), just for old time sakes. And then this old boyfriend finds out she’s seeing some blind guy.

Wouldn’t you think most normal guys wouldn’t try to do something to get them to break up? Like, maybe catching him one time on the way home and then maybe saying something to intimidate or discourage the other “man”? It’s not like this blind guy could identify the old boyfriend, or ever prove anything–

Ask yourself, wouldn’t you think most guys would show up at their old girlfriend’s door a few times when this other guy’s over there (getting some)? At least try to disrupt their perfect little love nest? He could always say it was an honest mistake, and that he had been drinking and had forgotten which night it was.

At least, this way he would be able to let me know the old boyfriend had a key and was still coming around. That would definitely discourage most guys. So why wouldn’t he want to do anything to break us up? Just like the confession, this should also make absolutely no sense…that is, if you’re a guy?

Because of an incident I describe below that happened around the 4th of July, I know Rick had a key to her door, and as I said, could have easily walked in on us any time he wanted. but he never did…

But consider this, was it because he had no other choice, if he wanted to keep himself, and maybe one or both of his teenage boys, out of prison because of something that had been happening inside the duplex on Lawnridge?

Later that summer, Christel transferred from the University of Oregon in Eugene to Marylhurst University, near Portland. I didn’t understand why at the time, but she decided to moved to Beaverton, where coincidentally Rick had also recently moved.

Did too many neighbors know too much about them, and they were worried that their plan to frame me would likely be exposed? If their plan was going to work, maybe they decided they needed some new neighbors who didn’t know anything about their past.

As I write about below, I know she never stopped seeing Rick, along with a few other men. So the bedroom community of Beaverton , along with “Dufess Marley”, gave them the perfect place to set me up and cover up their crimes.

It was the perfect place to make me the “bad guy”, as “Dufess Oaes” put it, and and destroy my life…and eventually steal my kid–

So when I learned about this letter, in retrospect I think she may have had some other inappropriate intentions that night, that is, given what I know personally about her unquenchable sexual appetite, her desire to follow her thrills, and her need to explore new things whenever possible. And more importantly, maybe her desperate need to cover up her role in the molestation of one, and maybe both, of her daughters.

Besides pursuing a serious relationship with a woman with two young daughters and no healthy boundaries, the biggest mistake I ever made since coming to Oregon in 1998 was agreeing to talk to a cop. I made the mistake of letting Marley and Oaes come in and agreeing to listen to what they had to say, hoping I could make them understand how it was living with someone like this, as a blind guy. After a few minutes it became obvious they could care less about hearing the truth–

Marley did all the talking. Only thing I remember Oaes saying was something about going to see some little kids in Corvallis, Oregon, and teaching them about “bad guys”, which sounded kind of creepy to me, given the context of our meeting

As I said, these two knuckleheads weren’t interested in learning the truth. Their sole objective was to entrap me into saying something they might be able to twist in front of a secret grand jury, since there would be no chance to present my side before I would be arrested.

By setting someone’s bail high enough ( for me that was $250,000), they can easily hold a person in jail for over a year, awaiting trial.

I realize, even before I was arrested, this was the plan all along, unless I agreed to accept a plea bargain which they knew would destroy my credibility and my life.

The system is designed to force all poor, accused defendants to accept a plea bargain, guilty or not. My case clearly shows the cops and the persecutors care nothing about justice or truth, the only thing that matters is being right in the eyes of the public and the media.

Along with abolishing all police unions (who have the power to kill you with impunity), abolishing the grand jury system I feel is key to creating a fair, equitable criminal justice system. I have some hope the grand jury process as it’s being used today may some day be found to violate the Oregon State Constitution, which in many ways is stronger than the federal constitution. This may be the only way to fix this problem, given the legislature’s own complicity in maintaining the status quo.

Specifically, the grand jury process unfairly targets minorities and persons of low income, while almost never holding public officials accountable for wrong doing because of what is clearly a conflict of interest between the prosecutors and certain government officials, such as the police. This is because the cops regularly testify on behalf of the state and collectively punish DA’s who attempt to hold them accountable.

While there may be some positive changes coming under a 2017 revision to the grand jury process, it’s complete secrecy and complete prosecutorial bias, along with a lack of having any formal record of the proceedings (other than some juror’s notes), only further the efforts of dishonest “witnesses” who are willing, black mailed, or offered some consideration to join in the persecutor’s long, winding, twisted tail–>

Any reasonable person must ask why in the hell would these two detectives come all the way out to my home in another county and not ask me anything about Christel’s letter — why wouldn’t they ask me about being naked in bed with my girlfriend’s young, sexually curious daughter with an erection? Can you imagine the headline had they arrested both of us for this!

“BEAVERTON COUPLE BRINGS BLOOMING DAUGHTER TO BED,
FOR LATE NIGHT SNACK!”

If they had at least tried to do the right thing and arrested both of us, they probably knew what might happen…once my side of the story was told, as I’ve done here, and the public learned the whole truth. They knew she would be the one ultimately held responsible by the jury for encouraging her daughters to play simulated sex games with me, as I will explain.

But like most cops and most lawyers who will do or say anything to win a case — to hell with the truth, Marley and the Washington County persecutors were no exception to this rule.

Christel told me that when she was subpoenaed to appear before the grand jury on December 30, 2004, Marley and the DDA, Greg Olson, who was suspended by the Oregon BAR in 2006 for a similarly deceitful practice, pulled her into an office and encouraged her to lie to the grand jury. They told her to say I had hit her. This wasn’t true and she wouldn’t go along with it, and told me all about it that evening.

She did lie to me about one thing, telling me that the grand jury had not yet come to a decision as to whether or not to indite me.

curiously, she did feel it was important to mention that an Hispanic man on the grand jury had asked her if I was “really blind?” As I recall, she never did say what she told him, and I always assumed she was truthful…but what if that was part of the plan (to get me out of the picture); the plan to mislead the grand jury about my total blindness (other than light perception)?

For the record, when I was eleven-years-old my brother and I were subjected to two days of these strange brain test, some of which I don’t remember. When the tests were evaluated, Dr. Richard A. Lewis, from the University of Michigan Medical Center wrote a report which said that my older brother and I had a degenerative eye condition called Retinitis Pigmentosa. He went on to say that our prognosis was to both be completely blind within the next ten years.

Even though my brother had fairly good vision at the time, and even legally drove for a couple years, I was already legally blind by that time and lost the rest of my useable vision at eighteen. My older brother was lucky enough to not go blind until his mid-twenties.

As far as having ever been physically violent with her, Christel knows, I have never, ever intentionally harmed her, other than speaking the truth. It’s true, I may have stepped on her toe or accidentally bumped her head a few times. But the fact is, I adored every inch of her perfect body and always, always touched her in the most loving way possible. Even if our angry words were sometimes unusually cruel.

Apparently, neither Olson, Marley or the Washington County Prosecutor, Bob Herman, ever turned this 2004 letter addressed to Marley, a critical piece of evidence, over to my appointed attorney, Public Defender Gregory Sholl.

In a fair legal process, this intentional deception by the police and the prosecutors — hiding exculpatory evidence (which they do all the time), would be enough grounds for dismissing my coerced plea bargain — a deal I made with the devil to get out of Sheriff Rob Gordon’s dungeon, after being placed in solitary confinement for almost two weeks [up to 23.75 hours per day, and some days it was 24.0 hours per day], and then being placed in a cell with a convicted murderer with Hepatitis C, who claimed to have killed a previous cell mate.
(See, “3 Americas: 42 Days in Bob Hermann’s Isolation Dungeon and the Coerced Plea Bargain”)

But I’m not the only Oregon man with a disability who has been intentionally put into these sort of dangerous situations over the last decade by the state ranked number one by one publication in 2015 for abusing people with disabilities:
1. James Chasse, a severely mentally disabled man, was stomped to death by Portland Police for urinating on a sidewalk in a wealthy neighborhood [see the documentary “Alien Boy”].

Then, as internal and federal investigations continued, the police union arranged to have over 650 Portland cops march through the streets with union bought t-shirts declaring their support for the officer responsible (who later became the Sheriff of Wheeler County, Oregon).

As planned, this intimidated many of Portland’s disabled citizens who were being asked to submit their own personal experiences involving the police to the Department of Justice and U.S. District Judge Michael J. Simon;

II. According to a 2014 report from Disability Rights Oregon, it is estimated that almost half of Oregon’s incarcerated population is made up of men with disabilities, although the State intentionally keeps extremely poor records documenting this specific demographic. For this reason, and their obvious vulnerability, mentally and physically disabled men in prison and jail are more often the victims of acts of violence and extortion, estimated in just Oregon to be over 4,000 per year;

III. Just as I was put in with a convicted murderer by Washington County in 2005, who I believe was told to intentionally intimidate me, a Portland man [Michael Hagen] was also intentionally put into a cell with a dangerous white supremacist at the Snake River Correctional Institute who previously had threaten to kill him.

So you know, Hagen wasn’t a nice man, and may be deserved to be roughed up. For no reason, he beat up a young, innocent female clerk with a club and badly injured her, while under the influence of meth. This is as senseless as it gets and I’m not defending what he did by including this hauntingly similar section in my autobiography.

Nevertheless, Hagen was exactly where he was supposed to be, serving his time, for a very long time. But just like Madaline Pitkin and me, he deserved to be protected by the state. Because of what Hagen did, one could argue it wasn’t as grossly negligent as putting a completely blind man, who was innocent until proven innocent, in with a convicted murderer and encouraging the cell mate to threaten and intimidate the blind man so “they” could get a plea bargain.

Even though Hagen told guards he felt this man was intending to harm him, and despite a promise from the Correction Department to transfer him to another prison, Hagen was moved directly from solitary confinement into a cell with this same man. Not surprisingly, the man killed him a day later.

According to Hagen’s wife, prison guards ignored Hagen’s screams for help, just as they had ignored both Madaline Pitkin and me;

IV. A mentally disabled man, with an I.Q. below 70, was removed from Oregon’s death row by former-State Attorney General John Kroger about ten years ago. And another mentally disabled man recently won the right to a new trial based on the exact same facts; despite being legally “retarded” he was placed on death row by the Oregon criminal injustice system, a ruthless county persecutor, and the “liberal” former-governor. Not to mention his typical public pretender, who the Supreme Court ruled a few years ago could sleep during the trial if he or she wanted, without violating the defendant’s right to “effective counsel”.

Along with having some of the most deceitful, dishonest persecutors in America, here’s another example of just how rigged Oregon’s criminal injustice system really is

Along with Louisiana, the State of Oregon only needs ten of the twelve jurors to convict a defendant. This way, with a little help from the public pretender and a crooked judge, getting a convictions of any poor person the state wants to target is fairly easy.

My fake lawyer, Gregory Troll, assured me I would spend the next year in jail if I didn’t agree to take his dirty plea bargain. But had my case gone to court, I suspect both Greg Olson and Greg Sholl would have been disbarred for their misconduct…but then again, as I describe in another chapter The Oregon BAR is probably just as corrupt as the lawyers they pretend to supervise.

Judge van Dyk (along with a judge named Angel Lopez, who helped this lady screwed me out of the title for my RV) once worked at the BAR helping women and certain minorities get “jobs”.

The fact is, across America men with disabilities, like the poor and some other minorities, are often targeted by unscrupulous cops and narrow-minded persecutors, rather than the actual wrongdoers, for many reasons. It’s all about going after the low hanging fruit rather then climbing to the top of the tree and going after the Wall Street banksters, which takes a lot more time, energy, and money.

Seeking out the truth also takes some courage, because sometimes you don’t find the answer you expected, or maybe wanted, especially when there’s a paycheck or a hot young lady involved–

Christel’s withheld written confession and the book of pornography she shared with her girls, clearly document her role as the primary instigator in this case. Her words and actions were instrumental in creating a sexually charged environment around her children and her male partners. And her complete immunity from having any responsibility in any of this, while charging me with a Measure 11 offense [with a minimum of seven years in prison] for having allegedly touched the oldest daughter’s breast in a sexual manner was both selective and discriminatory. Yet another example of police corruption and prosecutorial misconduct throughout Oregon and America.

My treatment clearly documents a clear pattern and practice of an ongoing abuse of power among the lawyers working under the authority of the Washington County District Attorney, Bob Herman.

Despite overwhelming evidence of a practice of systemic discrimination against people with disabilities and other indigent defendants by this county’s jail and prosecutors, the State BAR and the legislature do nothing!

So imagine your a cop, but not just any rookie cop, but rather an experienced detective with all sorts of investigative tools and skills at your fingertips. And you get a letter from this thirty-two-year-old, sexy white mom which includes a short paragraph describing how she had brought her pre-pubescent eleven-year-old daughter into the bed with her naked boyfriend, who she claims became aroused only after the little girl climbs into the bed. and ask yourself, wouldn’t you ask at least a couple more questions about this to the mom?

After all, it would be a good excuse to go see her during the day, while the kids were away…

Like:
Was this normal for you and the boyfriend to do this, I mean bring the little girl into the bed with you two at night?

You say here you knew he was already naked? Is that right?

And, if I can be personal for a minute, exactly what were you wearing before you brought the little girl into the bed with your naked boyfriend?

And you say here, you got out of the bed when she knocked, and instead of going into the little girl’s bedroom with her like you usually do? Instead you brought her into your bed with you and the naked boyfriend? did I get this part right?

And your also saying he didn’t become aroused at all, laying there with you dressed like that with no panties, until after you brought the little girl into the bed with you and him? Do I got all of this right?

But in all honesty, I’m sure no detective, and so maybe there’s some sort of long-term strategy in not asking these sort of hard questions, after reading a signed confession like this… Like maybe getting into the “good graces” with the hot, white mom, and who knows, maybe hooking up later when the case is over? That might explain why Marley put the book of pornography (purchased by the Ford Foundation) back down on the “victim’s” shelf that lazy fall afternoon and offered the lady a deal she couldn’t refuse–

It sounds a lot like what Portland Police Officer Jeromie Palaoro did in 2015 at 3:30 a.m. when he went to the hotel room of a traumatized, female domestic violence victim. He had met her while on duty a few hours earlier and kept texting her, saying “I know I shouldn’t be doing this.” Then after telling her twice “Remember, I write the report”, he unexpectedly pulled a gun out of a bag and through it on the table and took off his clothes, and told her to start rubbing him.

Rather than being charged with kidnapping, false imprisonment, aggravated sexual assault, and brandishing a weapon during the commission of a crime, and being labeled as a registered sex offender for life, as Maxine Bernstein’s July 22, 2015 Oregonean article clearly documents should have been the case, he was only charged with “official misconduct”!

In Maxine’s article, the victim describes at least three separate sexual assaults committed against her by Officer Palaoro in the presence of a weapon, which the victim said she felt was an ‘implied threat of violence’ if she didn’t do as he said.

Instead, The Multnomah District Attorney Rod Underhill and DDA Chris Ramris, arranged a very special plea bargain for this cop in which Palaoro can’t be a police officer again. But this only applies to the state of Oregon. Oh, and he has to do an entire 18 months of “supervised” probation.

Of course, this means being watched by mostly former-cops, some of whom we know were kicked off the force for having a drinking problem or using excessive force on the job.

Want to guess what job Officer Palaoro will be doing next? Monitoring (and assaulting) alleged sex offenders for the county (who couldn’t afford private attorneys)?

Since there would be no serious consequences if caught, maybe the deal Marley offered Christel included ignoring the book of pornography and stashing her letter of confession far, far away somewhere in the back of a file cabinet where only he could find it (Like they did with the first sexual assault complaint filed against Ward Weaver by his son’s teenage girlfriend, before he went on to kill two other teenage girls.).

And maybe when Detective Marley first read Christel’s confession he knew immediately that he had been implicated by her. Simply by mentioning this one night she brought her daughter into bed with her naked boyfriend. He wonders what else happened that night that she isn’t telling, but his hands are tied… So he arranges it so that his friends at the DA’s Office and the county Jail to torture me to get a plea bargain, and keep the case out of court…or at least, until our divorce/custody trial?
(See: “Open Letter to Sheriff Hanlen Over UCC Professors Trading Sex for Grades”)

It took me years to figure this all out. I suspect she had already seduced him (by playing the helpless victim). Then, if he asks her anything about her letter or why she brought her daughter into bed with us, she would make sure his career as a dirty cop was over, and probably blame him for the letter. So, while they’re fucking each other, they both agree to fuck me instead!

PART TWO:
I had been in bed for about an hour before Christel came into the bedroom. I was completely naked, like I always was.

She liked to stay up late and work on her art. And then, when she did come to bed she liked to discover me that way, warm and naked under the blanket, waiting for her.

She would quickly slip under the covers and tightly wrap her arms around me, as though I were a life preserver waiting to rescue her from the cold, vicious world. At those moments, it seemed like everything between us was perfect!

That night, when I heard her open the door I didn’t say a word, I just laid there and listened. I heard her slip off her clothes and toss them into the corner. Then I imagined her slipping into her short nightie, with nothing underneath. As she usually did.

She sat down at her desk and began brushing her hair. I listened to her slowly pull the brush down through it and thought about How much i loved to run my fingers through this amazingly soft, long beautiful hair while we made love.

Facing her desk, I waited patiently under the blanket. And it was just a few minutes later when she slid her slender body into the bed next to me.

As I Turned toward her, we slid our arms around each other and began to kiss.

While I can’t remember exactly everything we were doing before it happened, or exactly how we were wrapped together, but I do remember for sure she wasn’t wearing any panties. This meant she was available if I was interested. And I was almost always interested in making love to her.

As I continued reading her letter, I thought more about what we had been doing that night. As I began to remember it, I recall we were going to make love, but she said or did something to let me know she wasn’t quite ready to have intercourse. I think I began to move on top of her, and then I stopped, and let my body fall back along side of her.

We had an understanding about making love. She always knew it was okay to let me know when she wanted or needed more time, or wanted to change positions, since she knew I enjoyed helping her get more ready, just as much as I enjoyed being inside.

It had only been about ten or fifteen minutes or so since she came to bed and I wasn’t usually in any hurry since there was never a doubt what was going to eventually happen. She knew that even if it was a “quickly”, it probably wasn’t going to be the last time that night I would want to pleasure her. I only needed a little encouragement.

As I remember, I settled in next to her, and began to use my fingers to please her gently, the way she liked, when a hurried, anxious knock came from the bedroom door.

Christel quickly pulled away from me and rushed to the door, almost as though she were expecting it. It was her older daughter, I heard saying, “Mommy”?

Startled by the way Christel so quickly jumped out of the bed, I hurriedly wrapped the blanket around me, and curled up into a ball, pretending to be asleep.

Next, I heard her open the door. Maybe they said something to each other, but I didn’t hear what they said. I did hear the door close pretty quickly and figured Christel and her went into the girls room to lay down for a little while, like she almost always did when they came to the door. Sometimes she would get them something to eat or drink, and then send them back to bed without her.

But instead, a moment later, I felt both of their bodies fall into the bed next to me.

I was laying on my right side, facing Christel, who was now facing away from me, toward her daughter. A few minutes later Christel slid closer to me and moved her body up against mine.

Since getting into bed, Christel and her daughter only said a few words to each other, and I said nothing. But I could tell Her daughter was just a few inches away from us, facing her mom.

It didn’t occur to me at the time, but since getting her letter to Marley I have wondered why Christel didn’t grab part of the blanket and cover herself that night since she was wearing almost nothing. She could have easily covered the two of them, if she wanted. It was kind of chilly, around November I think. And it was a large blanket that would have easily covered all three of us and the entire queen size bed with some blanket to spare.

As we lay there, mine and Christel’s bodies naturally squeezed together, even tighter, like “Magnet and Steel.”

I remember feeling her small, round bottom pressing up against me; I was still partly aroused from what we were doing a few minutes earlier, and the sensation of her whole body leaning against me was an instant reminder. And while her daughter’s father may deny this, there is very few men who could claim they would not be stimulated (after a minute or so) by the feel of that familiar softness bumping against your most sensitive body part–

I felt her wiggle her butt, just a little, but it was enough to let me know she still wanted me… It was a disturbing moment for many reasons, I recall. Part of me thought we were having this secret, intimate moment between us, just waiting for her daughter to hurry up and fall asleep and then be ushered by her mom back to her own bedroom. Hopefully with no complaint or delay.

On the other hand, I was wondering what Christel was doing by bringing her daughter into the bed with me since I wasn’t wearing any clothes, even if she thought it was only for a few minutes. It was a moment of cognitive dissidence I was feeling.

And that’s what really made what she said in the Marley letter so infuriating! Christel knew I was aroused before her daughter came to the door. Yet in this letter she tells Marley that I had not become aroused until after she brought her daughter into the bed with us, like she had nothing to do with it!

Fact is, Dennis Marley cared nothing about either of the girls since he didn’t ask one question about Christel’s letter or the pornography book he found in the older daughter’s room, He didn’t want to know anything… Hmm–

This is because I would have told him that before this one night, she had never brought either of her girls into our bed late at night while I was sleeping. She admitted that she knew I was already naked when she did it? She knew I always slept naked, and she had to know this would eventually come out, if the jury was to read her letter about me becoming aroused by her oldest daughter.

The important question now is who else saw this letter before I got a copy in 2007?

The history of the wire-bound book of pornography that Detective Marley didn’t take into evidence is as follows: The book was first shown to the girls in the winter or early spring of 2001. I believe she began sharing it with them shortly after Christel bought it from the University of Oregon Book Store with the money she got from the Ford Foundation.

It was usually left out in the living room on a book shelf where I found it sitting many times, both while she lived in Springfield and Beaverton. Any one could pick it up and look through it.

About a month or two after the girls started looking at the pornography book, a woman who lived across the street on Lawnridge, in Springfield, came over and tried to tell Christel her five-year-old daughter was running up and down the street naked.

I don’t remember exactly what the neighbor said, but I remember that Christel began screaming something at the woman like, ‘WHY DON’T YOU MIND YOUR OWN damn BUSINESS!’

The following fall The youngest daughter’s teacher in Beaverton asked Christel to come in and talk to her about some incidents involving her daughter acting out inappropriately in a sexual manner. When I asked her about what happened at the meeting, Christel became agitated, so I let it drop.

And a year later, we began taking the youngest daughter to the Morrison Children’s Center in southeast Portland, as I insisted, because she had made several threats to kill her younger brother, Abraham, including once having described her plans to drown him.

Obviously, the older daughter was also effected by the explicit material in this “Ford Foundation book of pornography.” Christel told me while they were living in West Linn she caught the older daughter and a friend of hers one day sending out naked, explicit pics of each other, posing both together and separately…

this may have something to do with the older daughter being arrested in the fall of 2005 for assaulting her mother with a cell phone in the presence of her younger sister and brother. This made the assault an aggravated felony.

As usual, Christel’s friend, Judge van Dyk came to the rescue and sent a handwritten note to the lady judge who was handling the case, asking her for leniency.

However, by interfering in the legal process, as he did in 2004 by tampering with my case, did he once again prevent a deeper investigation from taking place into Christel’s own bad behavior? Isn’t this an abuse of power? By doing this, was he trying to protect himself and any secrets about his relationship with my wife?

Circuit Judge van Dyk and Circuit Judge Bob Herd, who I wrote about in another chapter, are two of the many characters I’ll describe in these writings who are both linked to my case and also associated with the Clackamas County Circuit Court system.

In February of 2010 one of the court’s assigned law enforcement staff, Sergeant Jeff Grahn, drove to Greshum and killed his wife, Charlotte, and then for
no reason killed two of her friends, Kathleen Hoffmeister and Victoria Schulmerich.

What makes this case even more suspicious than the simple question, why did he also kill his wife’s two friends, is that Sergeant Grahn did not use his own service revolver to do the killing. Hmm…

Did he use a ‘drop gun’? Was he first planning to surprise her outside and kill her with this other gun and then throw the gun in the river? Even if found, there would be no fingerprints.

Or maybe when Jeff Grahn gets to the bar he tries to get her to take a ride with him. Then maybe he was going to put the (extra) gun in her hand and pull the trigger. He then says, he has no idea where she got the gun, she just pulled it out and shot herself. I wonder if anyone else heard him trying to get his wife to take a ride with him? He did get her to come outside. But she still wouldn’t get in the car with him, and we know now, for a good reason, she was afraid of him. Did she know something, and did he believe she told her friends this secret?

Grahn had filed for divorce a few months earlier, and his wife did not file an answer. This meant he had already won an automatic judgement against her and got everything he wanted…but killed her anyway. Does this make any sense, unless there was something else? Grahn was described by many who worked with him as being kind of a “control freak” and a “hard ass”.

Did he kill her because Charlotte knew some secret about what may have been going on at the Clackamas County Court house, similar to what murder victim Douglas Adamson told me about “some important people from Clackamas County” six months prior to his own murder?

About ten years ago this guy, Douglas Adamson, saw me searching for a bus stop along 82nd Avenue in a heavy rain storm and offered me a ride home. When we got there, I showed him my medical marijuana garden and we puffed a phatty.

As we’re smoking, he starts telling me about how he had been providing “young kids to a lot of important people from Clackamas County”. I laughed it off, and figured he was just jerking my chain.

After that, I called him a couple times about helping me haul some stuff, and left messages at his brother Phil’s house, but never heard back.

Then a few months later he calls me at around one in the morning. He asks me in a very suggestive voice if I want any “company”, and he hands the phone to someone else, and I hear this very young sounding girl giggling. I told him something like ‘Hey Doug, go fuck yourself’ and hung up. I never heard from him again.

About six months later I heard on the news about how this guy also named “Douglas Adamson’s” truck was found abandon on the 205, and how they found parts of his chopped up body washed up on the beach in Vancouver, Washington.

I’ve been wondering, who could have got Doug to pull over his fully-functioning truck on the highway like that, and abandon it, other than maybe a cop car?

Not to sound to paranoid, but I wonder if he was recruited to try to set me up with this young girl in a compromising circumstance, just like Christel tried several times to do with her daughters and me?

Did Christel’s friends from Clackamas County kill him to keep this all a big secret, like the unexplained killings of Charlotte Grahn’s two friends?

Did Douglas Adamson become a threat to them because I didn’t take the bait that night and agree to the offer to bring this young girl into my bed?

So back to Clackamas County Sergeant Jeff Grahn and why he also murdered his wives friends. He’s supervising the county courthouse and serving court papers for the county, then for no reason decides to drive out to Greshum and kill his wife, and the two friends she happened to be talking to…about something? But what were they talking about?

Was Jeff Grahn concerned about what he may have told Charlotte about in a state of drunkenness? did he happen to mention something about a few corrupt county judges and correction officers, and what they may have been doing down there at the courthouse? Is that why they tore down the old courthouse (around the same time as all these murders took place)? Did they destroy the building to get rid of any possible DNA evidence left behind, that Grahn knew about?

To better understand how things transpired that night, here’s how it went:
After walking outside, and after a brief argument Jeff pulled out a gun and first shot his wife, then for some reason went back into the bar to kill both of her girlfriends.

Except, this makes no sense. Why did he need to kill both of his wife’s girlfriends before he shoots himself? He would soon be dead, why would he want to make the situation for his surviving children so much worse, leaving this awful legacy behind?

Maybe one could find some explanation as to why one spouse would kill the other, but hunting the two girlfriends down and killing them is very troubling. What secret could have been so damn important?

So back to my own tragedy. Clackamas County Circuit Judge Douglas Victor van Dyk was appointed by the disgraced former-governor, John Kitzhaber, along with Eric Bloch, in 2001.

In 2015 Kitzhaber resigned after coming under investigation for influence peddling and corruption. However, the Acting-U.S. Attorney Billy Williams, who once charged a Native-American boy with a felony for buying one joint, and who unsuccessfully prosecuted most of the Bundy protesters, announced in 2017 the DOJ would not be filing charges against John Kitzhaber, a great disappointment to many of his critics in the the medical marijuana community. It seemed like it was just more business as usual in the Goon?

The previous U.S. Attorney for Oregon, Amanda Marshall, resigned after she was accused of both stalking and having sexual relations with a male subordinate, who was ironically married to another attorney under Marshall’s supervision. .

Dr. Kitzhaber, who is a trained physician, (and a useful tool for the pharmaceutical industry) opposed medical marijuana in Oregon, claiming in 1998 and for over the next decade claimed there was absolutely no medical value.

Today, along with the State of Israel, more than half of the states in America have endorsed the medical use of marijuana under certain circumstances. And we know much of today’s opiate crisis was caused by doctors like Kitzhaber who preferred (and were paid bonuses under the table) to hand out these highly-addictive pills to their patients for pain. His support for the us of addictive opiates over medical marijuana only further documents the extent of his political corruption. Here’s why–

In 1997 John Kitzhaber joined the legislature in recriminating the use of marijuana, which had been decriminalized by Oregon in the 1970’s. Suddenly it was once again a crime, punishable by thirty days in jail, for having even one marijuana seed!

His sudden resignation may have not only been about the corruption involving him and his girlfriend, who was apparently given a 1.5 million dollar contract from the State of Oregon’s Department of Energy shortly after she and the married governor had begun an elicit affair. Here’s why–

According to my sources, The previous two governors, along with Washington and Clackamas County officials (including perhaps even Karen Emmergut, who is now sitting on the Ninth Circuit Court and was the U.S. Attorney at the time I was being tortured by Washington County in Bob Hermann’s infamous county jail: See “42 Days in Hermann Monster’s Isolation Dungeon”), may have all been involved in the cover up of Ashley Pond’s murder.

As I’ll explain, this apparent cover up resulted in the eventual murder of another thirteen-year-old Oregon City girl named Miranda Gaddis. I believe they were waiting for Ward Weaver to kill his son’s girlfriend before arresting him, when he killed the Gaddis girl instead.

On an important side note, in Gus Russo’s best seller, “Supermob” the author describes how in 1955 a private investigator from the room next store used an infrared camera to watch a U.S. Senator rape a young girl. In considering the Weaver murders, doesn’t it seem likely that this technology would have improved significantly since then? And if there were some wealthy child murderers among us, wouldn’t they want to create a distraction by allowing Weaver to do what he did? consider these odd facts, in a county that seems to have a lot of unusual deaths…and where I was living when my own nightmare began–

First, both of these girls disappeared on their way to school. Despite that they both walked directly bye the home of their murderer, law enforcement apparently never thought to search every house, garage, or shed along the route the girls took between their homes and the bus stop. The body of Ashley Pond was right there the whole time at Weaver’s home, but the sheriff and no one else apparently thought to look in his , although they apparently did search his houseshed?

The police knew immediately that the girls both disappeared on their way to the exact same bus stop, which you would think would have been a major clue to take a good look at every house, garage, and shed along the girls’ path.

Now compare this willful incompetency to the massive, invasive search that took place following the Boston Marathon bombing, in which the Forth and Fifth amendment were completely shattered with absolutely no due process. so, what court wouldn’t grant Sheriff Roberts a search warrant for any of these properties, especially if the owner had refused access?

We now know, after murdering Ashley Pond, Ward Weaver put her body into a barrel and stashed it in his shed which was located behind his house.

As I’ve suggested, I believe there are some cops around here who knew the whole time exactly where Ashley Pond’s body was, but wanted to wait until Weaver had killed another girl before searching the entire property where the girls’ bodies were. And even then, it was weeks before the police came back to Weaver’s house. Does that make any sense?

Maybe they needed a real child rapist and murderer to distract everyone from what I believe is a wealthy, ruthless gang of professional lucifarian pedophiles and child pornographers operating out of the Willamette Valley, and probably the entire west coast.

While the corporate media and the government want to blame the Russians or the Iranians, we know both of them are regularly putting out fake news and reports, posting them across the web for those of us who are theorists against criminal conspirators to find. So I’m still investigating the accuracy of this, but one report claimed the police took a cadaver dog and went to the home of Ward Weaver, but only searched the house. Even though, according to this report, the dog indicated there was something there in the shed, for some funny reason the cops decided to not search the shed…and then Miranda Gaddis was murdered!

So think about this. if true, This so-called search apparently occurred before Ward Weaver murdered Miranda Gaddis…which means she would be alive today had they done their job and searched the shed too and arrested Weaver for Ashley Pond’s murder!

And if “they” had not “lost” the report his son’s girlfriend made, I would argue both girls would be alive today!

So if our government and corporate leaders are kidnapping, raping, and murdering children, and protecting each other, then they would need to convince and distract the dumb downed public (with the help of the righteous asshole himself, John Canzano, and the rest of the overpaid corporate media trolls) into believing their “creepy” neighbor is the real villain, so they don’t ever get caught. Right John?

In the case of Ward Weaver, they only need to hide a sexual assault complaint and wait until he murders one or two girls (And two is always better than one, isn’t it?) in order to create an environment of mass hysteria. Then they put up this massive billboard along the highway with the faces of the missing children to constantly remind everyone…and keep the public in a state of terror!

But manipulating the legal system for those in power against the poor (which is anyone without immediate access to a quarter million dollars in money or property) is business as usual in America. So I ask, Who are the real violators of human rights in the world?

I’ve written about this to U.S. District Judge Michael Simon twice (and hand delivered copies of these letters to both him and the former-U.S. Attorney, Amanda Marshall), none of these indifferent elitists bastards, who are supposed to be overseeing Portland’s bullshit consent decree, have never written back or invited me to testify. Are you surprised?

Every day and night both my dog and I endure countless electrical assaults from these invisible lasers Hundreds of thousands of times, including over one thousand sexual assaults over the last seven years directed at my genitals and rectum. Whether I’m inside or out, I’m being sprayed with poisons and sewage, and often they will hurl objects at my home at night. Yet, as far as I know, no one has been arrested or prosecuted, and the park manager, Debbie Sleeper, openly calls me “crazy”!

While I go into all of this in great detail in another chapter, here’s why I refer to this RV and Mobil home park as the “Southgate Death Camp”.

It all began when I agreed to buy the RV and Mrs. Sleeper and the RV’s previous owner tricked me into moving my RV to the very back of the park, away from everything. They said I would be a whole lot happier. Ugh…

When I bought it, the RV was parked in Lot 15 which was directly across from the office, the laundry room, the mail room, the community garden, the public bathroom, and only a hundred feet away from the park’s entrance. They claimed it would be quieter in the far back. But even before all this harassment began, it was already almost impossible to find my way out of the park using a white cane. Not to mention how hard it was coming home alone and trying to find my lot, since every spot felt exactly the same unless I went up to the door…which, thanks to the Portland Police who walked around the park showing everyone my picture, made a lot of these trailer park people angry or upset.

I realize now I was moved back here so that “they” could abuse me without anyone seeing what they were doing…and maybe burn down the RV without any witnesses, just in case I died in one of these fires they have set over the last eight years!

The Sleepers, the owners, and their friends from local law enforcement, including Sheriff Mike Reese (Who was forced out as the Chief of Portland police and went on to help form a local group of wealthy and influential vigilantes called the “Round Circle”, before being elected sheriff in 2016.

“They” have tried to kill me countless other times by chasing me around town, and including running me down four times. Because of it, I have been held prisoner in my RV since February of 2015.

This is why taking this book of pornography into evidence was critical to not only learning about the current environment all three children were living in, but absolutely essential to protecting their future, not to mention the safety of every kid who already had, or who would, look in this book.

Ask yourself, how would a four-year-old boy, like Abraham, process a picture of a man, who appears very happy about what he’s doing, shoving his penis into the mouth of a woman? Just like his older sisters, how long before he himself would begin to act out the images from this book. A few years later, would he began to explore his curiosities with some neighborhood girl, asking her, or maybe forcing her, to do this with him? Is he even capable at this age to understand the concept of “consent”?

I thought this was the point of investigating our family?

After all, other than god (who knows it wasn’t my idea), who cares if Christel and I did it in some nun’s graveyard in a dozen different positions with the camera rolling and the nuns watching?

If you don’t won’t to know the truth, then don’t ask…right Marley? And definitely don’t take anything in to evidence that would challenge your legal theory, about the “evil step-father and the struggling, innocent mom!”

Slowly we began to push our bodies against each other, in rhythm. Then I remember at one point Christel reached back behind her and briefly touched me for a moment. It surprised me since I thought we were both waiting until her daughter fell asleep.

It always felt good the way she would first take me into her palm, then start stroking her slender fingers up and down, rubbing her thumb across that soft place under the tip. As an artist, she had these sensitive, thin fingers and what was the most creative touch you could imagine…up and down, round and round–

I can’t say exactly how many times she touched me, or how long she did that each time, touching and squeezing it gently in rhythm with our hearts. I was torn between this weird, awkward embarrassing feeling and this unbelievably strong desire to tell her how much I loved her. I wanted to tell her how much I especially loved her sweet, secret way of pleasing me, without letting her daughter know what we were doing…or so I thought?

It only took about five minutes or so of her gently touching my penis before I realized that very, very soon I was going to lose control of the situation.

My brain was telling me to say nothing, promising that soon I would feel that unbelievable, instant burst of relief that leaves a man gasping for air, and usually seeing stars, even if you’re blind!

When it got really close, I said something like, ‘You better stop’, and giggled, giving her a gentle push away. She did stop squeezing me, but didn’t leave go right away. And I didn’t want her to stop, and maybe she knew this and was waiting for me to beg her to not stop!

It was like trying to slam the breaks on a speeding train, and trying to get the mules back into the barn!

Taking a deep breath, I did everything I could to not let my passion flow from my body into the world….and said nothing–

And it’s true. There was a brief moment there when I just didn’t care anymore about anything else other than feeling a completion in what we were doing. I wanted so badly to release the pressure and crank the valve open all the way! Trying to convince myself maybe her daughter wouldn’t notice what we were doing. Or I tried to tell myself that she wouldn’t understand what had just happened. And I started to tell myself that maybe she wouldn’t notice or recognize that familiar smell?

And in that one instant I tried to also convince myself that this surging river that was roaring up from inside, ready to overflow the banks, wouldn’t later find its way over to her daughter’s side of the bed, staining her night clothes…that is, if she was wearing any clothes?

But another part of me, a smarter side, a much stronger side, said that kind of thinking was really, really stupid, and extremely dangerous!

I was breathing pretty good from the first moment she touched me. I remember burying my face in the blanket to mask my heavy breathing, but the room was completely quiet and I began to imagine that her daughter was listening to every quick breath I made, and would know what happened if we didn’t stop…RIGHT… NOW!!

Then I imagined her daughter hearing that first gasp of air at the instant the dam breaks lose. It’s an unmistakable sound that would be hard to misinterpret. And would if her daughter asked me, “Don, are you okay?”

I knew both the girls had watched a lot of R rated movies growing up that included many scenes of love making and I’m sure would know exactly why I was suddenly gasping for air, as the bed stopped moving. Even if she pretended not to know what just happened, but asked anyway, for fun!

In a moment, we stopped what we were doing and reluctantly pulled apart. Rolling away from Christel’s warm, mostly naked body, I felt the two of them climb out of the bed–

Then I heard Christel walk her daughter out of the room and close the door. She returned about five or ten minutes later, and we made love and never spoke about her daughter being in bed with us after that night.

But since getting the copy of the letter sent to Detective Marley, the one question I can’t get past is, why did she ever put this in this letter to a cop. Most of the letter was pretty vicious and accusatory, but only directed at me, or so it seemed.

But this one admission, admitting that she brought her sexually-curious, eleven-year-old daughter into bed with her naked boyfriend, seemed odd. And pretty dumb to write about me getting an erection, and then sign it, and then send it to a cop!

And why didn’t Marley follow up on this written confession? Or did Detective Marley make some kind of a deal with her to say nothing about the letter? It’s not the only evidence he accidentally came across that should have raised a lot of questions about Christel’s own parenting skills and the safety of the children.

Yet the cops and the DA chose to completely ignore all of it?

Like the book of explicit pornography Detective Marley found in the oldest daughter’s bedroom in the fall of 2004.

“Who gave you this book?” He should have asked the thirteen-year-old daughter.

“Has your younger sister or any of your friends seen this book?”

So I’m thinking to myself, maybe it was guilt Christel was feeling when she decided to write this down and send it to Marley. Maybe it was a subconscious need to confess her own bad behavior or her bad intentions, as though he were a priest or rabbi and she needed forgiveness.

I think her daughter knows more about what was happening that night we were in bed together or why she did what she did that Saturday afternoon, even more than me. As I will explain better, Christel may have been worried the daughter might tell someone about it some day so she needed to think about how to cover her own ass, no pun intended.

She may have also been afraid I would bring some of it up at some point in the future, like during our divorce/custody trial, and she wanted to make sure that her version was the one everyone heard first. And the one everyone believed.

Why did she need to bring up anything about that particular night? Was it yet another lesson in human sexuality designed for her oldest daughter’s education (and Christel’s own gratification), demonstrating one fun way she might be able to please her boyfriend without risking pregnancy?

This is the way Christel would often think about including her girls, as I’ll explain, in explicit detail:

WARNING!
If you’re not over eighteen, or if you’re sensitive about Reading explicit, graphic sexual material, and it does get a lot worse, then you need to skip the rest of this chapter.

Frankly, there’s not any other way in which I can fully describe how horrifying it was to be forced into these dangerous, compromising situations by someone I trusted, as a blind person, and what I suspect may have been one or more of the nefarious plans afoot–

***XXX***
PART THREE:
As I describe my suspicions, first, I should begin by giving my ex-wife the benefit of the doubt, and try to imagine a possibility where her intent was mostly innocent, although not wise or motherly with regard to the safety of her daughters.

This argument would be even stronger, if we remind the reader about Christel’s extremely sensual, highly sexual nature, and most of her art work reflects this fact. And perhaps it was this part of her which briefly took over her usual good sensibility, with regard to compromising her daughter’s virtue. I would like to think so.

Like, maybe she just wanted to please her boyfriend, who had just moved in, and didn’t care if her daughter suspected we were touching each other in the bed next to her…as long as she didn’t actually see anything.

Maybe in that moment, Christel forgot the daughter’s age and imagined her being younger than she was with very little knowledge about, or interest in, human sexuality.

Or let’s say, would if she knew her daughter knew about what was going to happen when she came to the door, and agreed to say nothing when her mom began touching me, as she watched!

Maybe having this sort of pretend secrecy between them about their sexuality was a sort of mother-daughter bonding. After all, it was what Christel said she learned as a very young girl when her own mother would allow some of her male friends to fool around with her and her sister, while her mother pretended not to see.

When we first met, Christel would often talk about her mothers boyfriends and their friends, and what they did with her and her younger sister. According to Christel, this began when she was about four-years-old, and her mom was still a minor, only seventeen.

Her father, who Christel said she admired greatly, died of a heroin/cocaine overdose a few years before we met. And while Christel never said much about how his bad behavior may have also contributed to her sexual abuse as a child. He was apparently around eighteen when he began having sexual relations with her mother, who became pregnant with Christel shortly after she turned twelve.

Once or twice Christel talked about “breaking the cycle”, but I didn’t realize what she meant…until many years later.

However, this is the forgiving side of me, that wanted to believe that things would always get better for us, and that she would stop playing these crazy sex games and stop lying to me about seeing other men–

But because the facts say otherwise, and I know in my heart-of-hearts this isn’t true, there are a lot of odd things about that night that suggest something else was going on…

For example, I couldn’t tell, but would if she had intentionally left the light on. The way her and her daughter walked in and out of the room so quickly, makes me think now that maybe the light was on the whole time? I don’t remember hearing the click of the desk lamp. I can sometimes tell when the light changes in a room, but because of my blindness, unless it’s a really, really bright light, once it’s been on a short while I can no longer tell.

And whether the light was on or off matters because she had mirrors almost everywhere in the bedroom. Hanging on the closet, mounted on the headboard, and across the desk, which was located right next to the bed.

maybe this is why she never pulled the blanket over the two of them, and partially uncovered me when she first reached behind her to touch me? I remember her pulling my manhood out part way from under the blanket and laying it against her butt, as though it were a canon being placed on its raised mount.

She rubbed it a little and waited for me to react, and then a moment later, rubbed it again. She did this several times, as the blanket began to fall away.

I assumed Christel’s body blocked any possible view of what she was doing with me, not to mention, I figured it was completely dark in the room. I wasn’t worried about her daughter seeing anything.

Not to make excuses, but I completely forgot about all the mirrors she had mounted around the bedroom.

But if the light was on, then I suppose her daughter could have looked toward the closet or headboard mirror and seen some of what was happening behind her mom’s back, which meant she may have been watching my erection grow as her mom rubbed my penis. In most states this would likely be a crime, if a mom knew her underage, sexually-curious daughter was becoming aroused by watching her do this to her boyfriend and did nothing to prevent it.

This may be one of the reasons why Christel needed to include it in her letter to Marley, in case it came out later that she let her daughter watch?

Maybe Christel told her something before coming to bed like, “It definitely isn’t the same as seeing it in a picture or drawing sweetie-”

That same fall she had shown them this near life-size chalk drawing she did of me for school, completely naked.

The very next morning she showed both of her girls, as though she couldn’t wait (to excite them), even though she promised me at the time she drew it she wouldn’t show it to them. Especially sense apparently I was shown being partly aroused.

A few days later I overheard Christel and the girls talking about circumcisions, and wondered if their question had anything to do with the drawing of me she showed them?

I overheard Christel saying something like ‘the circumcision helped to keep the man’s penis clean and helped prevent the man from spreading any disease.’

She went on to explain, ‘the circumcision also made the tip even larger which made the woman feel good when it rubbed inside her didi.’

While I imagined her pointing at my circumcision, she told them, ‘The larger tip helped to keep the man’s penis from coming out too soon while they were making love.

So the reader understands why this is, as a “recipient” of this accepted Catholic/Jewish practice in many western cultures, I’ll try to explain it in my own words.

During the circumcision the skin of the penis is cut and pulled back, away from the tip. by removing a small part of the skin.

The circumcision makes the tip more exposed and thereby, more sensitive to touch. For this reason the tip is said to swell up quicker and grow slightly larger than it otherwise would, if the original skin were still covering that part of the shaft.

Although perhaps, the accuracy of this comparison should be best debated among women (or maybe gay men)? male children (without their informed consent).

As a victim of what is a form of ‘male genital mutilation’, I can tell you a little about the results, although I can’t claim to remember the moment it happened.

But if it had to be done (without my consent), I am grateful for having being raised by Irish Catholics, since I do know for sure it was done to me by a doctor in a hospital, rather than having it done in some back room by some “holy” man’s teeth!

After the circumcision is performed, a firm, raised ridge just below the tip of the penis, about an inch or two from the tip, where the skin was originally cut is created and becomes more noticeable as the boy grows older.

During arousal the ridge will become firm and will protrude even further as the penis becomes engorged with blood. For this reason the tip and its raised ridge act like a reverse plunger once it passes through the vaginal opening and is fully inserted into the vaginal canal.

Similar to how I overheard Christel explaining it to her girls, after penetrating the vagina the circumcised penis is far less likely to slip back out through the smaller opening of the vagina until the man ejaculates and the tip of the penis begins to shrink back to its normal size.

Meanwhile back in the bedroom, shortly after she began touching me, maybe a minute or two…

Some time after she brought her daughter to bed with us, I noticed Christel began to lean way forward, almost laying flat on her belly, facing away from me. I remember this, because I remember thinking something about her body felt strange, the way she was no longer leaning against me but still touching me. That’s when I reached down for a brief moment and felt her wrist and butt, and thought her wrist was at a really odd angle. I kind of remember thinking for a split second, it seemed like a really uncomfortable position to be in while she was touching and squeezing my tip, but I didn’t want her to stop and said nothing.

If she wanted her daughter to see everything she was doing, and the light was on, then it would explain a lot of this. It would explain why she pulled me out from under the blanket and was leaning forward so much while reaching back since her daughter would only need to raise her head a very little to see over the top of her mom.

On the other hand, if it was all planned ahead (to let her watch), her daughter could have piled up a couple pillows when she climbed into bed with us, so she would have a real “good” view of what her mom was doing.

Or would if they had arranged instead that, for educational purposes only, it was her daughter who had stretched her right arm over the top of her mom and was the one doing it? She tells her daughter it’s also going to be a test to see if I would make her stop, if I figured out it wasn’t Christel touching me. Her daughter agrees with the plan.

Meanwhile, Christel tells her daughter she will pretend to have fallen asleep, so she can’t be blamed if I find out and get real angry.

Or what if they just simply agreed to take turns touching me the whole time? Christel gets it started, but then it’s a game. First one and then the other. Keeping me from knowing for as long as possible, is the only rule in this game. And maybe seeing who could get me to “pop”, was how you won. Sounds crazy as hell, doesn’t it?

You see back then, I never considered the possibility that anyone other than Christel would ever have tried to touch my most private body part in our bed. But given all the other nutty stuff that went on around there I probably should have been expecting almost anything from the three of them, when it comes to sex!

It’s possible, Christel really did fall asleep after she had touched me a few times, and knew nothing about what happened next, until afterward. She doesn’t mean to fall asleep on me, but she’s really tired and that’s why she didn’t go back to the girl’s room.

I don’t really remember for sure, but it seems like there was a few long moments from the time she first leaned forward and the time when I was touched again. So I suppose that it’s not completely impossible that her curious daughter, who is feeling aroused, could have reached one hand over the top of her sleeping mother and carefully used her fingertips to touch the tip of my exposed penis, without her mom or me knowing it. As she’s doing it, she carefully watches her sleeping mother and feels my penis begin to grow.

I had no reason not to believe it was Christel’s fingertips touching me, but the letter to Marley forces me now to wonder. As I try to think about the way it felt at that moment, being explored, In all honesty, I’m just not sure any more…

So here’s a couple possibilities I thought about:
Maybe Christel pretended to fall asleep. She is waiting for (and maybe even hoping ), her daughter will try to touch me–

So maybe in a moment of boldness the older daughter reaches over the top of her sleeping mom and begins to explore my circumcised tip for herself. She knows I’m blind and she figures I would never know, if she were really careful.

And she may have known her mother wouldn’t, or couldn’t, get angry because of all the other stuff even if she did happen to wake up and catch her. So making sure I didn’t find out was her only real concern, and maybe she figures just like what happen on the couch, I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it except make her stop…if she were caught!

Her daughter may or may not know, but Christel is only pretending to be sleeping, enjoying the entertainment. And also hoping I wouldn’t notice it wasn’t her touching me, but she doesn’t want either of us to know she’s awake in case her daughter gets caught!

Or as I said earlier, maybe before they came to bed they made an agreement to let her daughter do this with me as long as Christel can pretend to be asleep. Christel says, “I’ll get it ready for you and start, and then pretend to fall asleep. then you take over, but be really careful and only touch it very lightly with your fingers, the way I showed you. If you try to use your whole hand he might figure out it’s not me.”

Earlier that evening, let’s say, ever since her little sister went to bed her older daughter’s been sipping on her mother’s wine and asking non-stop questions about sex and circumcisions, and as they start thinking about bed, Christel knows their both feeling aroused. So Christel tells her daughter to wait fifteen minutes. And wile she can’t make any promises she will try to set it up so that her daughter can see, or maybe even explore with her fingers, an actual circumcised penis (“for educational purposes only”, she jokingly tells her), as long as the daughter promises that “No one will ever, ever find out!”

The older daughter agrees. She’s excited, since she already told her mom ever since the couch she’s been thinking to herself about it.

And since she just found out her mom was pregnant, she’s been wondering about what it would feel like to have a baby inside of her…with “those pretty blue eyes–”

After all, her grandmother was barely twelve-years-old when she became pregnant with her mom.

Maybe she’s feeling a little buzzed, and not considering the long term consequences when the moment arrives, she starts to remove some of the fluids from the tip…which is what it kind of felt like was happening–

The first few times I know for sure it was Christel touching me. So it is a little troubling as I think back about it because the person who was touching me didn’t seem to begin to wipe off the tip until some time after Christel began leaning forward.

I remember thinking it was very sexy, but now I have to wonder exactly why “they” were doing it?

I suppose, by pretending to be asleep, Christel could claim some plausible deniability if I suddenly figured out that it wasn’t Christel’s hand that was touching me.

Maybe, after taking her daughter back to her room, Christel says, “Don, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I must have fallen asleep and had no idea she would try something like that! But we can’t tell anyone, okay, or we’ll both be in real big trouble. Right?”

Then maybe a couple months later we find out her daughter is pregnant, and her daughter confesses to the police about what she did after her mom fell asleep. Except, she claims in her version she knows her mom knew absolutely nothing about nothing. She says it was completely her idea!

After some encouragement from the police, she agrees that it’s possible that I may have known it was her touching me, and not her mom. She admits she did it for a wile, first touching me, then touching herself, because she wanted to make sure she got pregnant!

And honestly, she admits she doesn’t know how long or how many times it would take. But maybe she tells them she didn’t stop until she heard me say “stop”.

After a little more coaching, she agrees with the lady officer that I had to known that it was her fingers (that were slowly rubbing the tip and maybe removing some of the sperm).

And when the tests prove the baby is mine, what could I possibly say to prove I did believe it was Christel touching me the whole time, other than that’s exactly what I thought…until I read her written confession to Detective Marley?

And, in this fictional version, if what she says here is all true (other than me knowing anything about it), it would definitely explain why Christel felt compelled to tell Detective Marley first.

Along with saying I let her touch me and remove some of my sperm, maybe the older daughter also tells the police about this one other time when I was sitting on the couch and she and her sister were talked into getting naked!

Maybe she says something like, ‘He got both of us to take off all of our clothes and then take turns jumping on his lap. He had us wrap our legs around his waist and told us to not let go!’

Sounds absolutely, completely preposterous, doesn’t it? However, that’s exactly what happened that time too, except once again, it wasn’t my idea. And their mom was sitting about six feet away from me when it happened, watching everything, as I’ll explain in

But first, let me finish exploring some ideas about why I think Christel may have had to tell Detective Marley about this night, before me or her daughter had a chance to say what we knew, or didn’t know.

The fact is, the night my girlfriend brought her daughter to bed, I really had no absolute way to know absolutely for sure who was actually touching me without touching the rest of the arm of the hand that was touching me.

And I had pretty much forgotten all about the crazy incident on the couch; I had forgotten about her daughter’s previous brazen, eagerness the afternoon she unexpectedly wrapped her naked legs (and her naked vagina) around my waist, while her mother watched, and wouldn’t leave go!

That night in bed; At the moment when Christel and I were squeezed together, I would have never imagined in a million years that she would ever just lay there and let her daughter touch my naked penis, but I realize now that when it comes to sex, absolutely anything is possible. Including the possibility that I might have even co-starred in several “soft child pornography” short films and never even knew it…

But let’s start over. To be completely fair, Christel may have not known anything about what was happening until the moment when I may have woke her up — at that moment when I began to feel that strong, familiar urge to ejaculate, and wanted to warn her before it happened–

During this entire time wile I was being gently touched, about five or ten minutes, both of my hands were resting against Christel’s shoulders and my face was mostly buried between Christel’s head and the pillow to mask my heavy breathing.

And if I think back about it, Christel never did actually say anything wile “she” was touching me? That is, until after I told her to stop and gave her a little push with my hand–

All I know is that someone kept squeezing the tip a little, moving their finger tips in a circle under and around the tip, and then they were stopping to wipe some of the semen off. Or that’s what it kind of felt like. But I may be completely mistaken about that, and it was only the fumbling, curious fingers of an inexperienced hand.

I do know, each time for a brief moment they let go, before starting over. If it were Christel’s daughter, she may have only have left go for a few moments to see if her mother would wake up, or to see if I noticed anything different–

I had found a carefully carve carrot around this same time among Christel’s art supplies And it’s possible that Christel had used it to show her daughter where the penis was the most sensitive and how best to touch it. It would explain the unusual touch and the odd angle of the wrist I briefly felt.

And it might also better explain what happened when I whispered in Christel’s ear to stop. And maybe her daughter heard me tell her mother to stop?

As I said, at the time the fingers that were touching me paused but didn’t leave go. If it were her daughter’s hand that was touching me instead, she may have been told to not stop until I ejaculated and was waiting for her mother to tell her what to do next.

Or if it were entirely her daughter’s idea, she may have been waiting to see if her mom woke up before leaving go? Who ever it was, obviously they didn’t want to stop, and I sure didn’t want “her” to stop..

I know if she had only paused for a split second and then just kept going, I’m sure in all honesty I would have just let it happen, figuring that if Christel didn’t mind then I guess her daughter was asleep and it was okay. In truth, as I said, at that moment I wanted nothing else, but felt obligated to warn Christel, simply because her daughter was in the bed with us.

So maybe this is what happened. Christel really is asleep. But she wakes up and suddenly sees her daughter’s arm reaching over her waist, and after a moment figures out what had been happening while she was asleep.

Or if she’s pretending to be asleep, maybe she looks at her daughter and shakes her head to say no. After a long moment, who ever it was quickly let go. And I remember, it was just a few moments later when the two of them got up together, without a word, and quickly left the room.

Then maybe when their alone, her daughter confesses to what she was doing. And then maybe she tells her mom what else she was doing (with my sperm) after her mom fell asleep. But she doesn’t know if I know it was her touching me.

Before her mom can get mad, her daughter reminds her about their agreement about sex, and reminds her that ‘This was all your idea mom’ (like the naked lap dance and the family baths)!

And what can her mom really say about any of it, so they make a plan…

Maybe the plan that they agreed to make, and the reason Christel needed to tell Detective Marley part of the story in her letter, was to make sure she blamed me first in case I ever said anything about this night. This way they are able to keep the rest of her daughter’s secret, a complete secret?

And since I never mentioned it again (because I never gave it much thought), Christel figures I’m clueless to the fact that her daughter had been the one touching me (and then maybe also secretly touching herself). This family seemed to have a lot of secrets…

But consider this, could I have kept this information from my probation officer and my therapist and passed six polygraphs (including what’s called a two hour “full history polygraph”) if I knew this? That is, if I knew my soon-to-be oldest step-daughter had once touched my naked penis for several minutes while we were laying in bed together (and one or both of us was completely naked), and her mom was sleeping between us? I can assure you, if I knew anything like this, This ‘lie by omission’ would be impossible to ignore during any polygraph, let alone six of them.

So you know, one question that is always asked of every RSO during every polygraph is, “Have you been completely truthful with both your PO and your therapist?”

[Polygraphers: Joe Garcia, Dari York, and Jim Sharmota, 2005-2009]

Besides, if I had any complicity in any way seems like I would have said nothing until it it happened. Then I would only need to pretend I was sleeping and must have had a wet dream. If Christel did wake up. I would say, “I was having this dream about us honey. We were on this beach together…”

Or as I said earlier, Christel and her daughter may have planned this entire evening together, like before, and were both hoping to impregnate the older daughter with my sperm that night. Coincidence or not, by waiting fifteen or twenty minutes before coming to the door, maybe Christel and/or her daughter knew I would probably be aroused (and physically eager to do what ever “she” wanted) by the time the older daughter joined us in bed.

As you read the rest of this chapter, this next paragraph will make more sense, and it may mean nothing at all, but I think it’s important to mention it here. There were a few different times when Christel would disappear from our bed just after we made love. I just assumed she was going to the bathroom, but she never came back to bed. The next morning she said she was checking on the girls and fell asleep in their room, but now I can’t help but wonder if she went in there for a different reason.

And I wonder if her daughter ever wondered why her mother was climbing in to bed with her in the middle of the night, or did she just wake up in the morning and find her mother sleeping next to her? Did Christel go in there to make sure some of my sperm got on her daughter’s sheets, or somewhere else that would be incriminating, and difficult for me to explain?

Especially, if I never knew she had kept this “evidence”. And then later presented it to a secret grand jury, with a lab report confirming it was my semen that was found in or on one of the daughters under clothes.

It would explain how they were able to indict me for a “Measure 11 Offense’ (with a six year minimum sentence) for allegedly ‘touching the older daughter’s breast in a sexual manner’. Even though (as her school ppics prove) SHE DIDN’T HAVE ANY BREAST at the time!

If Christel had some sort of incriminating evidence like this that I never knew about, it would explain how they were able to demand a quarter of a million dollars bail, which they knew I could never afford? And as these writings prove, without access to my screen access technology I was completely helpless and at the mercy of Washington County and their unscrupulous public pretender, Gregory Sholl.

But truthfully, most of the time I have no idea what was going on in any of their minds, sexually or otherwise. When it came to sex, the girls seemed to be free to do as they wanted.

I know we were all excited about Christel being pregnant, and even began talking about their mom having another baby for months before she became pregnant which happened sometime around November of 2001.

In the beginning, I know for absolutely sure it was Christel touching me. And I’m pretty sure it was Christel’s fingers touching me every time that night, and would have never thought there was any other possibility…but, the truth is, when you’ve been aroused for awhile, it starts to feel a little numb, and almost any sort of friendly contact down there feels pretty good, even if once and awhile its your own hand doing the touching (with a little luger Marquis)!

I do know that if Christel had left the light on, and had a video camera running, a ten or twenty minute film showing an almost naked mother and her young naked daughter taking turns stroking the fully erect penis (and removing the sperm from the tip) of a sleeping man almost completely covered by a huge blanket would probably be worth a whole lot of money in the child porn business, which I understand is a flourishing industry here in the Willamette Valley, and along the entire west coast; An industry which is said to be almost completely owned (and also controlled by) some of the same Jewish movie producers who run Hollyweird.

Or even “better”, imagine someone was making a video of a mom, pretending to be asleep, laying next to her naked daughter who is touching the erect penis of a man sleeping under a huge blanket. Then the camera shows this developing, pre-teenage girl, without her mom knowing, removing some of the man’s fluids from the tip and then moving her fingers down, between her legs, leaving the viewer to imagine what she’s doing. Now that kind of child pornography would probably be priceless, even if the mom and daughter were staging it.

Or imagine someone is secretly video taping what almost happened, while her daughter may have been watching. Christel is going to aim my penis toward her daughter just as she feels me begin to ejaculate! That’s the exact way it was pointed and what almost happened, if her daughter had raised her head and was looking over the top of her mom while her mom was rubbing me.

Yes, of course, this is a disgusting thought; the thought of A mom giving her young pre-teenage daughter a pearl necklace from her mom’s boyfriend for Christmas!

Fact is, Christel was a sex maniac, and pearl necklaces was something her and I did together many times before. Once she told me that it was the most sexiest thing I could do
with her.

Afterwards, she liked for me to rub my semen into her skin, saying it was good for her complexion. She didn’t need to tell me this twice.

So it’s not beyond imagination that she would want to share this exciting experience with her oldest daughter, as apparently some of her mother’s boyfriends did with her and her younger sister.

Then who knows what would happen next, if I lost control and sprayed her daughter with my fluids? Would they both start laughing hysterically and run out of the room, and jump into the shower or tub? And then call me into the bathroom to join them?

Just like this time all three of them tricked me when the oldest daughter said, “Don, come here and look at this.” As I walked out of the bedroom, her oldest daughter took my out stretched hands, turned them over, and then slowly and carefully placed my fingertips on each of what appeared to be her own nipples but were instead the nipples of a stuffed sports bra she was wearing!

At first, I ignorantly took her serious and thought she was handing me something really, really fragile, something that she didn’t want me to drop (which was kind of true).

Then she, her mother and younger sister all laughed garrulously! Ugh-

So the reader understands how the grooming process works, here’s a good example of how this “encounter” should have probably went (if I really did want to keep playing in these reindeer games):
After fondling the nipples of the bra for a few moments, I say something flippant like (to distract her mom from reacting, just long enough), “Would you excuse us ladies.”

Then in one motion, I pick up the older daughter in my arms and carry her back into the master bedroom, quickly locking the door (before her mom can react)!

Then maybe, I tell the older daughter, “Let’s play a joke on your mom!” She agrees.

I tell her to go over there and sit on the bed and start yelling, and moaning, “OH YES! OH DON! OH YES!” And I tell her to not stop until her mom unlocks the door, while I go over and sit down by the computer.

So when her mom finally gets the door unlocked and sees us, and sees nothing’s going on, we all have a great big laugh.

Except the next time, maybe when I get the older daughter to play one of these “games where I carry her into the bedroom and lock the door behind us”…it’s not just a silly little game, and maybe mommy won’t even bother to unlock the door…until it’s too late, way too late!

Let’s say the next time when this happens, as I said Christel doesn’t even try to unlock the door. Instead she decides to take her younger daughter back into the living room, and yells something flippant back at me like, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”.

Then maybe this other boyfriend hears the mom giving up, and decides to take both her and her daughter up on the generous offer; the offer to “see” exactly what’s hiding under this friendly young lady’s bra and panties, that is, if she’s even wearing anything when it happens?

There were lots of opportunities when one or both of the girls were running around naked and their mom was totally, and completely, distracted. And even a short scream from either of them would not have likely caused any sudden alarm from their mother…if she were working on an art project when it happened–

I know from experience, if Christel wanted to get the bedroom door open, and didn’t want to bust it down, it would have taken her at least a minute or two. Here’s why–

Sometimes when Christel would go into these crazy rages and chase the girls around the apartment or house with a wooden spoon, the girls would run into their room or the bathroom and lock the door (in fear of their lives).

So, whenever Christel has “had to” unlock the girls room or the bathroom door, after grabbing a butter knife from the kitchen, it would take her about thirty or forty seconds. And sometimes, it would take longer than a minute or two if she was really angry, to get the lock open.

Consider this possibility, and the risk her mother took by arranging or allowing her daughters to “play” one of these game.

So imagine that her older, maturing daughter was once again completely naked and playing one of these games, or only wearing panties and nothing else, which is a strong possibility. The boyfriend quickly grabs her, and growls like a gorilla, and carries her off to the bedroom.

How long do you suppose it would take before she realizes she is in really big trouble, under this next scenario?

We start the game the same exact way, so she feels safe with me, even though this time let’s say, as I planned, she is completely naked.

As I carry her over to the bed, I tell her, “This time, let’s play an even better joke on your mom?” And she excitedly agrees, as I gently lay her down in the middle of the bed–

Before she ever thinks about protesting, I lay down on the bed with her. And once again, I tell her to start yelling, and moaning, “OH YES! OH DON! OH PLEASE!”

Just like before, I hear Christel put her ear to the door to listen to her daughter’s annoying moaning.

Just like before, she knows we’re teasing her, and she figures it’s her own fault for allowing her girls to get naked and play another “game of the week!”

And because of what happened last time, she mistakenly thinks her daughter’s safe with me (even though she knows her daughter’s completely naked, or maybe only wearing some skimpy panties (that can be easily pulled off, or quickly moved aside).

Before she knows what is happening, I quickly climb on top of the older daughter , in the missionary position, and pull the blanket over us.

“Keep going until your mom opens the door,” I say as I tickle her, To make sure she keeps playing along — pretending to have sex with me, kind of like she did when we were sitting on the couch.

Then, in a playful way, maybe I start to gently grind my hips into her, as I reach down between my legs and secretly unbutton my fly!

She stops moaning for a moment, and giggles, feeling something tickle her didi.

But just as suddenly, she starts moaning again, even louder than before. Then I feel her bottom half begin to move in rhythm with me, and smile to myself.

After another moment or two of listening to her daughter’s fake moaning, Christel decides the best thing to do is to just walk away, thinking it will get her daughter to “SHUT UP!” And stop making that horrible noise (because she’s worried the neighbors might hear).

And she guesses right, since shortly after she sits down on the couch, the annoying sound finally stops!

However, after about four or five minutes her daughter still hasn’t come out of the bedroom, and she becomes a little worried…and decides to get up and grab a butter knife–

But it’s too late!

As she’s playfully moving her hips back and forth with me, I can feel her moist opening.

Suddenly, in one quick motion I cover her face with a pillow, and as quickly as possible, violently force myself into her!

When it happens, she can’t breathe, and is obviously unable to yell for help–

The fact is, by the time her mother decides to open the door, and it maybe as long as ten or fifteen minutes later, it’s likely the rape of her daughter, that her silly sex games made possible, would already be over…

So you know what really did happen, when the oldest daughter compassionately helped her mom’s blind boyfriend touch her young nipples, here’s my version:
Two seconds later, as soon as she took her hands away (and I realized the joke they just played on me), I instantly let go of “her nipples”, and did nothing else.

Like I said, I could have easily played along and pretended she was a mature young woman, as her and her mother apparently wanted me to think? I could have spent a long minute or two feeling the entire cup, and maybe given each nipple a quick kiss!

I could have wrapped my arms around her and easily spun her in a circle, and then slowly ran my hands across her back and round buttocks (and maybe somewhere else), so her mother couldn’t see what I was doing–

If I had played along, I’m sure they would have laughed even louder. And by doing so, I could have easily taken advantage of this “opportunity” to touch her everywhere.

Maybe her mother was thinking that day, “So what’s wrong with letting a blooming young pre-teenage eleven-year-old girl, who is beginning the change and who is obviously in touch with her own developing sexuality, do what she wants to do. Including compassionately letting my blind boyfriend gently rub her emerging nipples?” As mom joyfully watches (and is able to capture this special family moment on film for all of eternity).

I said nothing, at the time… But for the record, I told the DA, Bob Hermann, and Detective Dennis Marley all about this particular incident in a certified letter I sent them six weeks before they arrested me for an alleged Measure 11 Offense,

according to the indictment, I was arrested for having allegedly once touched my step-daughter’s breast in a sexual manner, apparently sometime in 2001 or 2002!”

As far as this incident goes, and as far as I know, the older daughter may have been wearing nothing more than panties and a bra when the incident described above happened?

Or it’s possible, the older daughter may have been wearing nothing at all, other than the sports bra I briefly touched (while Christel may have snapped a picture, unless she had a video camera).

Christel loved the arts, including photography. And her younger sister performed as an extra in several Hollywood movies, including the original ‘Adams Family”. So who knows…

Shortly after we began seeing each other, her daughters told me, and she confirmed this later, that their mom had a crush on the guy who acted in the movie, “If you could see what I hear.” They said I reminded their mom of the actor, Marc Singer, who played Tom Sullivan in the movie. Although, their mother said his name was Rutger Hauer, and Christel said I reminded her of him, not Marc Singer. But maybe it was just the dark glasses..or perhaps, it was the thrill of having sex with a man who was completely blind that really interested her, and the movie stuff was just a pick up line?

And maybe a more important question is, did she share this “fantasy” with her daughters?

Here’s something else about my relationship with Christel that’s a little weird, as you read more about my story, and how I’m being terrorized.

When we first met, she said her favorite movie was “A Beautiful Mind”, and she said her favorite song was “Wicked Games”. If you’ve seen the movie, and you know the lyrics of this song, you may understand that there’s a real possibility that almost everything you’re reading about here was pre-arranged…

So it’s very likely I was specifically picked out, and Christel was only a useful pawn, in this wicked game.

And it may have been because my face appeared in the local paper the previous spring for beating up some punk who jumped a lady friend, who was also blind, and me. It was the second front page Register Guard article about me that had been published that spring, and I know there were more than a few people associated with the Oregon Commission for the Blind who weren’t happy about it.

Maybe some day we’ll know why they would want to play such a wicked game on such a beautiful mind. Believe it or not, long ago I used to be a really nice person who only wanted to read books and collect baseball cards…

Did “they” want to try to use me to make a explicit “family” movie or two with Christel and her “frisky” daughters…as long as I didn’t ever find out, maybe she thinks to herself? Was that the idea? This way, anything I might say about these crazy people and their wild sex lives (while dressed in orange) might only sound like sour grapes?

Christel’s younger sister, Raymie, who according to Christel was also victimized as a young girl, may have also been involved in staging and marketing some of Christel’s “family movies”, or at the very least, might know something more about it.

Here’s what makes this part of this whole apparent set up suspicious.

Shortly after Christel told me about her older daughter’s alleged allegation, which I’ve never heard her make myself, she sent her daughter to California to stay with her [Christel’s] younger sister, Raymie.

Meanwhile, Christel and Detective Marley arranged to have her daughter’s well-coached “allegation” secretly filmed by a local gang [company] of raging feminists, called Northwest Cares, who apparently hate most straight men, and their own self-promoting, well-edited videos seem to prove this. Here’s the proof–

Sometime that fall, apparently against her wishes (according to Raymie), the older daughter was flown back to Portland to make this special video for the grand jury. Apparently it’s a video that interestingly doesn’t include anything about her mom’s use of wooden spoons or other bad behavior, which is well documented in this book.

The propaganda film fraudulently prepared by Northwest Cares (apparently, specially made by Detective Marley for the grand jury) includes nothing about her mom’s love for photography and her practice of filming her naked kids in all sorts of questionable situations, including while they were in the bed, bath, or on the couch with one of her boyfriends!

But this isn’t the only government funded entity who is using our tax dollars to work against us straight American men, who can’t afford a private lawyer.

After Christel filed for divorce, I went to Legal Aid of Portland, and they agreed to take my case. However, about three or four months later they informed me, by mail, that their office would soon be merging with the Eugene office and would no longer be able to represent me since they claimed my wife was being represented by Legal Aid of Eugene. This was a complete lie! And it proves just how truly deceitful these modern feminists have become–

This can be easily verified. The court records show that my wife’s boyfriend, Chris Rascon, and his ex-wife, Libby
Rascon, helped her retain a private lawyer for her divorce, named Michelle Bo Victor.

In fact, as I describe below, who Michelle Bo Victor and a man named Jay Scroggin arranged (with the help of Senator Ron Wyden and Governor Ted Kulongoski) to have me arrested on an alleged probation violation, that Libby and Chris Rascon had set up, so that I would not be able to attend the trial in Eugene on May 17, 2007.

Make no mistake, under the “law” tampering with a witness in either a criminal or civil case, especially for a senator, governor and a practicing lawyer, is a serious crime…and maybe that’s why the ‘Deep State’ and the “government” are helping the State of Oregon slowly murder me? AFTER THESE RAT BASTARDS STOLE MY SON!!!

So one must ask, how many American men and their families have had their lives destroyed by feminist-controlled organizations like this, such as Legal Aid and Northwest Cares? I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that there isn’t even one straight, white-looking man working for either of these agencies…

So maybe, to set her daughter up for the filming of this next scene, Christel first did something like this:
Maybe, during one of Christel’s special lessons (that she seem to always want me to over hear), she explains to her older, sexually-curious daughter about what men and women sometimes do for fun together, so the woman doesn’t get pregnant, called a “pearl necklace”.

She tells her daughter, this is a good and fun way to have sex with a boy without any risk of catching a disease, as well as not getting pregnant, or having to put his thing in your mouth if you don’t want to.

She quickly carves up a carrot and gives it to her daughter to practice. Using her own fingers, she shows her curious daughter exactly where to place her first and second finger, just below the circumcised tip, and shows her where the penis is the most sensitive and how to best rub it to make the boy ejaculate.

“First put your thumb on this side and then gently move the tips of these fingers in a small circle. Then move your thumb the same way. that’s right, up and down, both across this vain and then back up under the ridge.” “And as soon as it starts to get a little stiff it will already start releasing millions of sperm, so be careful.” They both laugh. “You know, it only takes one single sperm to make a baby!” They laugh again and hug.

I would imagine that a healthy parent’s worst nightmare would be to learn that their pre-teen daughter is pregnant. So, is eleven to young for a mother to openly discuss this sort of a subject (with all the explicit details)?

Perhaps it would be okay, in the context of keeping her safe? However, most of the conversations I overheard having anything to do with sex never included a lot of information about what is age appropriate and what is not. The not-so-private discussions between the older daughter and her mother I heard mostly included details about how old she would have to be to become pregnant. And sometimes, those conversations were about, in great detail, exactly how women (or young girls) can become pregnant…

There was rarely a day when her or one of the girls didn’t mention something about their “didis” in front of me, a term of endearment the girls and their mom, and grandmother, all used to refer to their private area, which I assume included the vagina and clitoris.

And since it rhymes with another word for breast, that may be where the term came from, but I don’t know for sure? “Although, I thought Commadidis” would be a good name for an all girl band?

So if what happened that night was supposed to be some sort of advanced lesson in human sexuality they had pre-planned together, maybe Christel told her daughter what she was planning to do and asked her if she wanted to watch, or maybe help?

She explains, her daughter could watch as long as she absolutely promise, “hope-to-die”, to say nothing if any of my fluids got on her, which was very possible.

Her mother explains, “Sometime sweetie, it goes everywhere!” The older daughter sort of understands, or maybe understands perfectly.

Maybe Christel reminded her, “it’s critical that you don’t say a word or make a sound, and don’t you dare scream, when it happens” so I didn’t ever know her daughter had been watching, or was the one actually doing it.

And maybe, so that I never figured out that her mother had given her the detailed instructions she needed to get away with it.

“I’ll be in way big trouble if anyone ever finds out that I let you do this,” she says. Except in Oregon, If I knew what I know now, I could have told her back then that as a woman, she had absolutely nothing to worry about. And maybe she knew in the back of her mind, the Ford Foundation and their powerful friends would take care of everything, as they apparently always do for their young ladies?

Is this all starting to sound really creepy? Sadly, given Christel’s past behavior of always being the victim, both real and imagined. It is a real possibility that using her to destroy my credibility may have been the plan from the very beginning. And possibly long before Christel and I ever met…

Using all sorts of sexually explicit tools, like books, drawings, Hollywood movies, and sculptures (and a few vegetables) I often over heard Christel teaching her daughters about sex. So using me for a few live demonstrations, while she filmed it all, isn’t beyond her thinking, as I may have discovered.

I remember the three of them once sitting on the couch looking through the same book of explicit photos that Detective Marley left behind (who apparently agreed to keep this evidence from the grand jury).

While I have never actually seen any of the pictures, based on what Christel described to me, the photo book (with no text) showed this same couple having sex in dozens of different positions.

While they were all sitting on the couch, I heard them discussing the pictures, and I heard the younger daughter asked something about why the couple was doing it in so many different ways? And if you think about it, it was a fair question to ask from a six-year-old.

I listened to Christel explaining to her girls why– She said something like, this made the woman feel good when the man changed the way his penis was rubbing against the inside of her didi.

In retrospect, maybe I should have thought a little more about how her older daughter would process this sort of information, but I do remember thinking with some alarm about how her younger daughter would react to hearing anything like this at that age.

By then, there had already been several serious incidents which raised red flags about the younger daughter’s mental and emotional health, and her tendency to often focus on this particular topic [sex] during conversations with both adults and other children her age.

When I asked her mom about this later, and if this was a good idea to share so much information about human sexuality with them, especially the youngest one? Christel told me that she felt since the collection of photos were all taken of the exact same couple making love, and this Australian couple was also married, it wasn’t considered to be pornography, but rather a form of art. Since I couldn’t see the pictures, it made sense, at the time-

As I mentioned, in the fall of 2004, Detective Marley picked up this same book he found in the older daughter’s bedroom but chose to not take it into evidence. As far as I know, he didn’t ask Christel who gave her daughter the book, or who else had seen it.

I know for sure at least three of the daughter’s girlfriends had also looked through it while we lived in Beaverton. And apparently, after moving to West Linn, the book was also viewed by the thirteen-year-old adopted, mentally-challenged daughter of a Clackamas County Circuit Judge, Douglas Victor van Dyk

Without his wife, Judge van Dyk would often bring his daughter by my estranged wife’s apartment to stay the night. Apparently, the judge’s daughter would sleep over night in the same exact bedroom where Detective Marley found the book of pornography. And, I do know the book was readily available to any of the kids who wanted to look, regardless of their age.

This same detective told me that because my oldest step-daughter had made a few cuts on her body that this meant that I had probably been molesting her, and apparently told the grand jury this, who voted to indict me.

Obviously he never mentioned the book of pornography her mom gave her, or the sports bra her mom had her put on and than trick me in to touching (her nipples). Or the letter he got about Christel bringing her in to bed with her naked, sexually aroused boyfriend!

What is interesting is that around this same time in the fall of 2004, my wife told me she had seen Judge van Dyk’s adopted, mentally-challenged daughter once when she got out of the shower and told me this young girl had dozens of cuts all over her body.

Does this mean Judge van Dyk was molesting this pretty Asian, disabled girl who apparently he specifically selected?

And did Christel have any right to educate her or any other kids from the neighborhood with this sort of explicit material by making it readily available to all of them? Even if Judge van Dyk didn’t mind, did any of the other parents know, or approve?

And most importantly, is there any sort of professional or official obligation on the part of Detective Marley to take the book into evidence, finding an explicit book of pornography in the bedroom of a thirteen-year-old girl while presumably investigating an alleged sex crime committed against this same girl?

I will confess, when Christel got it from the university book store in the spring of 2001. We spent most of that day in bed as she slowly describe and with my full consent, used me to demonstrate many of the photographs. So I have a pretty good idea about what was in the book.

There is another possible explanation about what happened that night. Maybe her daughter knew absolutely nothing about nothing of what was going to happen. This is what I would like to believe. Although there are other possibilities. And it may be those possibilities that explain why Christel first had me arrested, and then painted this less than flattering depiction of her older daughter (the alleged victim), while I was being held by Washington County in solitary confinement (apparently because I was “so fast” and I had an alleged “marijuana addiction”. Did they get this from the government’s 1937 propaganda movie, “Reefer Madness”?

Over the past four years, Christel had painted dozens of paintings for school. Yet, for her senior art project she decided to submit a painting she just finished called “Doppelganger” to the Portland Tribune of her oldest daughter. I would imagine her advisors at Marylhurst (Dennis somebody and John French), knew the background behind the young girl in the painting, yet apparently said nothing to discourage her from using it.

It would seem, at the very least, Marylhurst would have thought about protecting her daughter’s identity. Not to mention the obvious implication that the painting suggests to the viewer about the character of the subject…questioning the young lady’s voracity–

If you look, the painting clearly suggests to the viewer her daughter isn’t who she appears to be. I have always wondered what was Christel trying to say when she first painted this, as the mother of this victimized child? And I’ve never questioned the fact that both girls had been victimized, but it wasn’t me who took advantage of them.

So what was she thinking about when she picked this painting? Was she worried about her daughter telling something else about what happened that night in bed, with her mom’s naked boyfriend.

The May 2005 Portland Tribune article was advertising the Marylhurst University Spring Art Festival to be held at the school Art Gym. The painting Christel picked out showed her daughter looking down into the water, with an obviously dishonest face looking back at her.

Ask yourself, why would any mother publicly humiliate her daughter at this critical time in her life? Especially when you consider just a few weeks earlier, according to the State of Oregon (after obtaining a coerced plea bargain), she was legally defined under the law as being a “child victim”.

Does the Pamplin Corporation or the Portland Tribune investigate any pictures or paintings it publishes simply for copyright reasons, if nothing else? Clearly they knew it was a painting of a young girl looking extremely deceitful, for some reason…

As I said, like the letter to Marley, was this another seed Christel was carefully planting to cover her tracks just in case her daughter decided to tell about what she knew.

Maybe her oldest daughter knows that her mom had been using the girls to set me up, by leaving out a few important details, with a little help from her good friend, Judge van Dyk, who was coincidentally serving on the Clackamas County Domestic Violence Task Force at this same time.

While I realize that some of what follows is considered to be hear say’, there’s some good evidence to suggest Christel’s new friend may have tried to kill me in 2004 to cover up the true nature of their relationship.

Here’s what happen, you decide:
It is my understanding, there is an existing record of the police being dispatched to Christel’s apartment in West Linn in the fall of 2004. Apparently, a call was made shortly after midnight from the residence of Clackamas County Circuit Judge Douglas van Dyk to the West Linn Police which compelled two officers to wake my wife and her kids up.

According to Christel, shortly after midnight two police officers from the
West Linn Police Department showed up at her door with their guns drawn. She told me that the police told her Judge van Dyk had called them and said that he suspected I was molesting my oldest step-daughter at that very moment.

Despite telling the police I wasn’t there, they insisted on searching the apartment with their guns at ready.

Apparently,Christel must have turned off the ringer when she went to bed, and the Judge claimed his daughter was unable to reach Christel’s older daughter, and they became concerned for her safety.

What is most revealing about this, is that Christel said the police didn’t know I was blind, Can you imagine if I had stayed over night at my wife’s apartment, which I had ever legal right to do, and came wandering out of the bedroom to see what was going on?

So imagine, the police walk into this apartment where a young girl is allegedly being molested and they see this guy wearing nothing but running shorts coming toward them. He looks like he’s on some kind of drugs (because he’s completely blind). And despite that they have their guns pointed at the man’s chest, he’s still very quickly coming directly at them!

How do you suppose the police would respond to this scenario? Was Judge van Dyk setting up my murder that night?

Why in hell would he tell the police that he suspected I was there molesting my step-daughter? I hadn’t been there for days. The judge should have known his position of authority would automatically trigger an aggressive response from the local police.

Was it really because his daughter couldn’t get through on the phone? Seems like a pretty extreme reaction (and allegation), especially coming from a sitting circuit judge, doesn’t it?

And, since the judge had brought my step-daughter home from his house just a few hours earlier, it doesn’t seem likely that his adopted daughter would be overly concerned about not getting through on the phone at this late hour, on a school night?

And really, why didn’t this judge bother to tell the police I was blind or visually-impaired? Several of Christel’s E mails to my PSU account suggested he knew a lot about our family,and our struggles. And she put in one E mail that she believed he may be manipulating the criminal investigation against me.

Ironically, she also often referred to him in her E mails as “Judge van Daggot” and said it was based on his pointy nose and how it reminded her of the character in that comic strip.

As further evidence, he invited my step-daughter to a 2004 campaign rally held at his West Linn home. Guess who else was there?

Apparently, around this same time Judge van Dyk or someone else also got the county’s child protective services to send Christel a letter telling her I was no longer permitted to visit my son, Abraham, because I was under investigation. We ignored the letter and I continued to regularly visit him at Christel’s apartment until “they” had me arrested in early January of 2005.

As the chapter about the OCB describes, within two years the State of Oregon ended all possibilities of having a healthy relationship with him…

So back to the Marley letter, which I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Marley had encouraged her to write. Maybe Marley tells her, “Just write something, and we’ll be able to keep any exculpatory evidence away from the grand jury with Greg Olson’s help”. He then tells her, “Once we have him locked away in Bob’s dungeon, I promise the little pussy will be ready to take any deal we offer. Especially when he realizes the public defender and the court in our county don’t give a shit about any cripple’s search for justice!’

Let’s say, maybe her daughter knew nothing and innocently asked her mom to come to her room and lie down with her. They did this fairly often. But instead, Christel says something like ‘how about if you first try to fall asleep on your own. But if you can’t, knock on my door in fifteen or twenty minutes.

When her daughter knocks and she answers the door, instead of taking her back to her room, Christel gently grabs her daughter by the hand and pulls her into our room, putting her finger to her lips while pointing toward me, who appears to be asleep (as the camera continues to roll).

Then she and her daughter climb into the bed, and Christel quickly helps her daughter get undressed. A few minutes later Christel begins to touch me. She is hoping I will also start touching her, although she hasn’t exactly decided what she wants to happen next…she thinks ‘we’ll just play it by ear’.

As she’s touching me, she becomes more and more aroused thinking about it. She begins to lean forward so her daughter can see exactly what she’s doing, like they talked about.

And maybe, as she’s touching me and her daughter’s watching, she starts to imagine how many ways both of them can have sex with me, together. She’s hoping I would start touching her, and if her daughter weren’t there I’m sure that’s exactly what I would have done.

And maybe the real reason I didn’t touch Christel at that moment, was because I knew she would have very quickly lost control of her sexual inhibitions. And then, all Christel’s pretences about pretending that she didn’t want her daughter to know what she was doing (so her daughter would become aroused, and interested in joining us) would quickly disappear.

So, as I’m touching her, she imagines making love to me, laying on my back in the middle of the bed. She imagines first positioning her daughter sitting in front of her, facing forward, as she carefully helps me to slip my penis inside of her, and starts to rub her daughter’s back.

Or maybe when she’s touching me, Christel has this other thought. She thinks about offering to leave us alone together, to do whatever we wanted to do. She would like to be there and watch, but she also wants to give her daughter the sexual privacy she desires — she wants to give her maturing, adventurous daughter the time and opportunity to do what ever she wants to do with me, while no one’s watching (except the camera)…as they apparently strategically arranged to do a couple months later.

So as we’re all laying there in bed together, maybe the older daughter is watching her mother touch me and still feeling a little shy. But she can’t stop watching! I’m blind, and I don’t know she’s watching. So she thinks it really doesn’t really matter if she’s watching.

So one evening, after Christel gives her younger daughter some benedrill, her older daughter and her are alone, sipping wine and talking about sex, as Christel sometimes like to do. Maybe the older daughter tells her mother a little about what she’s been feeling, sexually, since that afternoon on the couch. And maybe she’s feeling a little buzzed and bravely she tells her mother what she’s been thinking about doing, with me. Her mother tells her to never be embarrassed by these sort of thoughts.

And maybe she even jokingly agrees with her taste in men, and tells her this is perfectly normal for a young, maturing woman to have these sort of sexual desires and fantasies about her mom’s boyfriend.

As they continue to talk, maybe she tells her mother that she doesn’t like the idea of having anyone watching while she’s doing it, even if it does keep her safe. So for her own safety, maybe she agrees to the idea of having a camera watching, thinking no one except her and her mother would ever see it. And, as they agree, if everything’s okay, they would delete it afterward.

She thinks, if her mom keeps her promise, maybe she’ll let her mom’s boyfriend do what ever he wants to do. And the thought of not knowing exactly what he would do this time, if no one was watching, excites her.

As Christel is touching me, and her daughter is watching, and they are both pretending that the daughter’s not watching, maybe Christel is able to help me to ejaculate on her backside. And I almost did! But not on her daughter, as Christel may have been hoping I would do in one of her fantasies about how this evening of “fun” would turn out.

She begins to think about how her own mother, would sometimes watch her out of the corner of her eye from across the room, while some sick male friend of a friend of her mother’s was having his way with her!

The experience gives her a warm, tingly feeling of togetherness, as she watches her daughter watching her fingers sliding round and round the tip.

Once wile I was spending the night at Christel’s apartment in Springfield, Oregon, I remember hearing the girls laying in the hallway, bumping up against their mom’s bedroom door one night.

Despite my blindness, whenever I walked upstairs at night I could still tell Christel had this massive bright light in the hallway, and now I think there was probably a lot more light shining under the door and lighting up the bedroom than I knew.

I asked, “Christel, do you hear the girls out there in the hallway, listening?” It made me nervous, hearing the sound of their voices so close, since we were completely naked and uncovered, and had done all sorts of things together and had already made love before I noticed the light shining under the door.

She said, “Don’t worry they can’t see anything.”

The next morning I felt the door and discovered there was at least a three or four inch gap between the floor and the bottom of the door. I realized the foot of the mattress, which was laying on the floor near the door, must have been fairly visible to anyone who was looking under the door. In fact, I would imagine the youngest daughter’s head could have probably fit part way under the door, if she wanted to get a “better” look!

I wondered how Christel couldn’t have noticed this huge gap. And I probably should have wondered why she didn’t get out of bed and cover it up when I reminded her. Which means that she didn’t care that both of them may have been watching us (from about two feet away), and may have been vicariously watching me perform cunnilingus on their mother?

One other time in Springfield, I thought I heard the girls climb out of their mom’s bedroom closet in the middle of the night and quietly sneak out of Christel’s bedroom. I’m not sure. Though it wouldn’t surprise me if they were hiding in there once again watching everything we were doing.

So, under this one possibility, afterwards, I imagine I’m feeling a little Embarrassed that her daughter might have heard something we were doing, but I quickly fall asleep anyway, not grasping the seriousness of the situation.

Then, let’s say that after both her daughter and I fall asleep, not suspecting anything, Christel begins to carefully wipe off my partially dry fluids from her nightie, butt and thighs, and begins to rub it on her sleeping daughter, underneath her daughter’s nightgown and across her private areas. Neither me or her daughter have any idea about what her mom is doing while we’re sleeping.

And the fact is, it is very possible that, as I said earlier, her daughter, innocently, may have not been wearing anything at all when she climbed into the bed with us. Christel could have planned it this way where she gets her daughter to quickly slip off her clothes, with a little encouragement, like the first time she got her and her sister to get naked and jump into the tub with her mom and me. For the record, I was always wearing swimming trunks when the girls were around, except this one night in bed that Christel wrote to Marley about–

While Christel and me were in the tub together this one time that fall, I remember, she yells “Come on girls, get in with us!”

A few seconds later the younger daughter runs into the bathroom and eagerly strips off her clothes and jumps in.

Then about a minute later, the older girl comes into the bathroom, and despite her mom’s encouragement, she says “I don’t want to, mom.” Christel then firmly orders her to take off her clothes and get in the tub with us. A moment or two later she quietly complies and slips into the tub next to me; I felt her naked thigh brush against my right leg as she climbed in, and then move to the other side of the tub…

Wouldn’t you think any young girl at this age who knows their body is changing, and they are becoming a woman, would be extremely shy. And wouldn’t you think most young girls, being put in a compromising position such as this by anyone, would tell their mother, “I’m not going to get naked and get in that tub with you and your boyfriend!” and rhetorically scream something like, “Are you crazy mother!”

But instead, there seemed to be another secret message exchanged between them during that moment, that made it impossible for her daughter to object in any way at such an outrageous request from her own mother.

Did she have to make sure I knew she would do what ever she was told, even if that meant getting completely naked and climbing into the tub with me.

It could have been my imagination, but she may have intentionally brush her naked leg against me when she climbed in so I would know?

I have to wonder, did she have to let me know that she had done exactly what her mother told her to do? With a look, was her mother saying something at that moment like, ‘I know what you want… You told me? So you better do what I’m telling you to do, if you ever want it to happen.’ And the older daughter silently complies, and takes off all of her clothes, including her panties.

It would have been so easy for me to reach under the water and run my fingers across her butt and between her legs while she was slowly gliding past, if I had wanted to excite her and hear her giggle.

Or who knows, if I had touched her she may have said nothing at all, just stayed right there sitting next to me in the tub, with our thighs touching…while I touched her under the bubbles where no one else could see…

But I never touched her with my hands, and may have even pulled them back a little when I felt her climbing in next to me, so I didn’t accidentally touch her.

So exactly how many times it happened that night, I don’t know. But more than a few times; “She” touched me with her fingertips and briefly rubbed the tip, and seemed to remove some of the fluid, and then let go.

If it were Christel, and she were wanting to impregnate her daughter, she may have reached back and very quickly ran the tips of her finger across her daughter’s stomach and the peach fuzz that had apparently recently started growing just above her didi. Then carefully, and very casually, each time (when I feel her leave go of me) maybe she quickly runs the tips of her fingers down across the outer lips of her daughter’s exposed vagina, and then gently tickles her. Her daughter shyly smiles, thinking her mom is only teasing her about being naked, and in the bed with us, exactly as they joked about doing, a little earlier.

Perhaps, Christel is secretly hoping her daughter will become pregnant, without knowing how it happened. (Or maybe her daughter knows exactly what her mom is doing, and is letting her mother do this, as they agreed.)

So let’s say, her daughter is completely naked when her mom tickles her didi. So the daughter believes her mom is playing another game with her, since after all, she is secretly in bed, naked, with her mom’s boyfriend, who is also naked! Very exciting for a young girl, she thinks to herself, not realizing her mother is trying to impregnate her.

I know it all sounds crazy, but since Christel just learned she herself was pregnant (and more horny than ever), I can tell you that around this time her boundaries were even lower than usual. So maybe Christel, or both of them, decide it would be really, really exciting if they could have a baby together (with me as the father).

All four of us were really giddy when we found out Christel was pregnant, and after that, that’s all the four of us ever talked about!

“What fun it would be if we were both pregnant with Don’s baby!” maybe She jokingly tells her curious daughter one night (who is just beginning to bloom), who only laughs about it, not knowing her mother is intentionally planting a dangerous seed deep in her mind.

There may be some important facts about the family that have attributed to this sort of thinking. For example, along with her second daughter’s father, several of Christel’s mom’s boyfriends later became her lovers, including her first and third husbands.

And the sister of her previous boyfriend, Rick, was once married to Christel’s first husband, making Rick’s two boys her youngest daughter’s cousins, which I think would make Rick the great uncle or maybe the second cousin of Christel’s youngest daughter? It gets real confusing, the more you know…

Just so it’s clear, the older daughter is not related to Rick’s boys by blood, in case there were anything sexual going on between one of Rick’s boys and the oldest daughter.

So, maybe this has something to do with the crazy cycle Christel claimed to want to break…but maybe instead, decided to get me for threatening to expose her curious games in the spring of 2004.

She had just dropped me off at my Lake Oswego apartment when I had finally lost my temper. I had been steaming all day.

Christel, without telling me, had suddenly decided to begin weaning our son the day before. I knew right away it was only because she wanted her breast to fill up with milk before she had her Ford Foundation picture taken (apparently for the horny wealthy men who use these pics from organizations like this to select their next mistress, or bimbo, or another “coerced” intern).

Abraham screamed all night, crying and begging for his mother’s milk, but she never gave in, as you can see from the pic! And if this wasn’t enough, Christel even had the mordacity to mention something in one of her letters to the DA or Marley about how I had embarrassed her by not shaving for the Ford Foundation graduation Luncheon.

So back to our “hot” night in bed! Let’s say, while the three of us are in bed together, the older daughter has no idea what her mom did, getting her pregnant when she briefly tickled her didi that night while she was falling asleep. But she notices her pants don’t fit as well and she is starting to put on a little weight waiting for her first period.

Then Christel secretly stats giving her pregnancy tests under some other pretense, saying it’s for a drug test instead, and gets her to pea in a cup. Once Christel gets a positive test, she tells the police that she thinks I am the father. I am arrested, and when the baby is born, the test prove she was right, with only one reasonable explanation as to how it happened!

But when she realizes about two months later that her daughter isn’t pregnant, she comes up with another plan to get me out of her life, so she can keep the baby, and all of her secrets…

I have no way of really knowing until its too late when this crazy stuff is going to happen, and often found myself in these odd, uncomfortable situations with her and her naked daughters, in the tub, the bed, or once when I was sitting on the couch.

It was probably what had happened that afternoon, when Christel later realized that she had crossed the line, which was what may have motivated her to start thinking about doing something about this problem…or maybe at least, getting a little “security” to cover her ass!

And as I said maybe that’s why that night before she came to bed she told her sexually-curious daughter to wait about fifteen minutes, knowing I would already be naked and fully aroused by the time her daughter came to the door, and if she planned it right, ready to ejaculate (with only a little encouragement needed)–

PART FOUR:
It was in the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday when it all began. I now believe Christel, and maybe someone else, may have encouraged the girls to take off their clothes, then take turns jumping on my lap facing me, and told them to ‘hold on ‘as long as you can, no matter what!’

Maybe their mom, or someone else says to them, “I think we need to really test Don, to make sure you girls are safe around him. What do you think about this idea?” And they agree.

“I’ll be right here, their mom says, just in case, but let’s see if he tries anything with you sitting on his lap like this, if he thinks I’m not watching. That’s why we need the camera, in case we need to prove it later.

Maybe she says something like, “He’s gonna sit there and try to ignore you. It’ll be so funny, won’t it!” They agree!

“Remember girls, there’s no audio, so you don’t need to make any sounds. Just take turns and stay right there on his lap. And don’t let go, no matter what!” And they both nod their heads and agree.

**************************************
Imagine if you were the producer filming this and writing the script:
“Honey, you need to take off your underwear too. I promise, we won’t show your face while you’re pretending. And don’t forget you’re gonna be a superstar!” So they both agree.

In order to get the best shot of their naked bottoms, the producer places the camera on the floor about five or six feet away, directly across from the center of the couch. He tells the mother to stay behind the camera, so it appears she isn’t home while this is going on.

After turning off the audio, the camera is turned on and the younger girl is given a pre-arranged hand signal to begin.

From this angle, the viewer can clearly see the back of the girls’ heads and their naked butts taking turns bouncing up and down on the lap of a grown man sitting on a couch, with their arms and legs wrapped around him. The film is deliberately slowed way down and every movement appears even more sensual and deliberate. From time-to-time the film pauses, at the “perfect” moment

The viewer can’t tell whether or not the man has an erection or whether or not the fly of these skimpy shorts he’s wearing is open or closed. Although the angle provides the viewer a good shot at most of the girls’ exposed underside, including the older girl’s fuzzy little pubic hairs, which the viewer can tell are just beginning to grow.

This means, from this angle the camera doesn’t really show if he’s actually having sex in this extremely intimate position with either of the girls, although the viewer can tell both of the girls are obviously completely naked, slowly bouncing around on his lap.

From this angle the girls face and breast are not visible. For this reason, The older daughter appears as though, and behaves in a way to suggest, she is older and probably more experienced than she really is- So the eager viewer concludes from her behavior, rounder butt and pubic hairs, the older girl has probably been sexually active for some time, before this.

And so, it may very likely appear they are having sexual intercourse to anyone who is watching and maybe masturbating, as perhaps it was intended?

The scene is left entirely to the viewer’s imagination as to what is or isn’t happening?

the viewer doesn’t know the man is blind. So it appears as though he’s wearing shades to hide his identity while having sex with these two young girls. And one of them appears to be only about six-years-old!
************************************

When the girls jumped on my lap they wrapped their arms and legs around me, locking their arms behind my neck and wrapping their legs around my waist. Then they began wrestling with me, sliding their butts forward and back across my crotch, while they pushed down, simulating sex…while they laughed.

Any reasonable person, like a jury, would have to ask how could a mother let her daughters sit naked on my lap with their legs spread wide and wrapped around my waist — similar to being in stirrups at the Gynecologist’s, waiting for a vaginal exam. Was their mommy using me and my “stethoscope” to play doctor?

It seems strange that a mother who would sometimes beat her daughters with one of these wooden spoons (purchased with the Ford Foundation money), wouldn’t react violently by screaming at them and grabbing them by their arm (or hair) and quickly jerking them off my lap!

Especially, given all the excuses that she had for striking them with one of these wooden spoons she kept around, including once for allegedly having wiped a booger on the bathroom wall while we lived in Beaverton, it seems odd that she didn’t mind them doing this kind of stuff with me, while she watched.

Maybe the girls figured out early, they were most likely to avoid these beatings, like the Hart children apparently did, by keeping their mother completely happy and in a prurient state of mind.

I can say I never once “saw” Christel hit the girls with a spoon while any of these “sexually-oriented” sort of games were going on.

So you know how crazy it was around there sometimes, I remember one crying and screaming tantrum where Christel accused me of loving Sheryl Crow more than her because I mentioned I loved Sheryl Crow’s music. Yet she didn’t mind her oldest daughter sitting on my lap, naked, with her genitals pushing against my genitals in an extremely provocative way? Hmm…

But the fact is, by sitting on my lap in this way their mother had to know it would force their exposed vaginas to open even wider, forcing even more intimate contact between us, unless maybe that’s exactly what their mother wanted?

Much like she said her own mother did with her and her sister, getting the girls to do what ever Christel wanted wasn’t uncommon. For example, around 2004 she had each of the girls throw the gold wedding band and the diamond engagement ring I gave her into the Willamette River, somewhere down by Oregon City.

This is why I suspect Christel was so easily able to get them to take off all of their clothes, jump on my lap and then pretend to have sex with me. Was it a quick thrill for her, or just another step along the way?

As I recall, one of the photos in the book of pornography the girls carefully studied showed this exact same position. The woman was facing the man and sitting on his lap, having sex, while he was sitting on a love seat.

I will confess, and Christel knows, this is one of my favorite ways to make love to a woman. And I would say it’s the most intimate position a man and woman could assume to make love. How could their mother not see how this looked?

What made sitting with the girls in this particular position even worse was that I was born with what I once heard from a partner unscientifically being called a “frontal mount”.

This is very personal to talk about, but it means my scrotum, which includes the penis and testicles, is located slightly more forward than what is apparently considered to be normal for most men.

For this reason, not only does it cause the tip of my penis to protrude more than most men, especially when I’m aroused, when I sit down to urinate I have to push the tip down so I don’t spray myself.

And if I’m wearing clothes, apparently sometimes it appears (perhaps, to the wishful mind) as though I have an erection when in fact I don’t!

Ironically, this is one of the reasons I changed my last name, after getting a nasty E mail from the Oregon Commission for the Blind’s female Assistant Administrator mocking my previous last name to sound something like what you would call an erect penis.

So it’s perfectly clear, the main reason why I decided in 2002 to take Christel’s last name was because I wanted Abraham, Christel and me to all share the same sir name. Christel explained she wanted to keep her last name, which she got from her first marriage, because she was already a “recognized artist”, in Oregon and liked the way it sounded (but didn’t care how we spelled it).

So I printed out a copy of Linda Mock’s E mail and grabbed my birth certificate, and went down to the Washington County Court House. With Christel’s help, we filled out the forms and I legally changed my name to match hers, with the exception of one letter (as we agreed ), just prior to us getting married in the summer of 2002.

After we were married, Christel then changed her drivers license from “Wolff” to “Wolfe”, so our last names would be identical when Abraham was born, as you can see from his birth certificate–

[BORN: Abraham Timothy Wolfe
DOB: August 26, 2002
Gender: Male
COUNTY OF BIRTH: Multnomah County, Oregon
MOTHER: Christel Lynn Wolfe
FATHER: Donald Ray Wolfe]

So maybe you’re asking, why would the Assistant Manager of the Commission for the Blind send a male client an E mail from her government account that began, and that she knew my screen reader program would pronounce as, “Dear Mr. Bonor”? That seem kind of reckless, doesn’t it?

But not in Oregon since she’s a woman and the law regarding sexual harassment here doesn’t apply to most “females”. American Men better wake up to this double standard and turn off all of the fake, useless sports crap, before it’s too late and this happens to you!

So back to my precarious situation, being mounted by two young, overly-excited, naked girls, while their mother gleefully watched!

I was sitting on the couch listening to some fake football game when the girls took off their clothes and began to take turns jumping on my lap, as their mother sat a few feet across from me (and maybe video taping all of it).

And who knows? Maybe she tells the police she kind of remembers when it happened, after coming home she must have first turned off the surveillance camera and then started making dinner, and just simply forgot about checking…until now, and maybe both her girls agree to confirm this lie!

Although, I would think an unedited video would have clearly shown I had no part in planning or participating in any of what went on.

On the other hand, it seems like taking single pics of what was going on would be a whole lot smarter, wouldn’t it? This way she could pick out the “best” shots of her daughters squeezing their naked butts down on to me, which would more likely create the impression we were actually having intercourse, and maybe even enjoying it!

Then she could easily delete the shots that aren’t as incriminating (like when I’m trying to pull her daughters off my lap). And then she could claim she had “lost” the camera (and its digital record). Just like Father Israel Bein, who was filming alter boys while they were urinating in his church bathroom (another individual who maybe had the right Catholic connections — such as, Alexander Sample?).

Some of us whistleblowers suspect Bob Hermann intentionally protected this sick priest by first not taking his passport when he was caught lying, and then by only charging him with a misdemeanor, so that he wouldn’t be pursued by the F.B.I….while he’s allowing his deputies to torture a completely blind man!

So was Christel being paid by someone with some connections to the DA’s Office to produce child porn in Washington County?

Here’s the interesting part of this story. Both my wife and her mother had converted to Catholicism when she was a teenager.

Christel would often talk about how her mother had once had an extended affair with a Jesuit priest. I could hear the excitement in her voice when she would talk about this, which she did often.

One day in 2001, after dropping me off at this costume store in Eugene (because Christel decided to keep her $300 costume, and say it was stolen), she went to Father Marks office at St. Mary’s, where I met her a little while later. While I waited for her in Father Marks office and brought her flowers, sense she seemed so upset that day.

I learned about a week or two later from Christel that Father Scott from St. Mary’s had been transferred to a parish in Beaverton. Then Christel told me she was going to drop out of the University of Oregon (and lose a year’s worth of credits) and transfer to Marylhurst, which she said was a catholic school. Although the exact relationship between Father Scott, Marylhurst and her suddenly transferring is not exactly clear, but I know it’s not a coincidence either.

Rather than moving any where near Marylhurst University, which is located half way across Clackamas County, Christel got an apartment in Beaverton, just down the street and around the corner from Father Scott’s new parish. Of all the luck!

Not to mention, her “ex-boyfriend”, Rick, had also recently moved to Beaverton, and was coincidentally, also now studying computer science.

Earlier that summer, after I gave Christel a diamond engagement ring, one night I could never get a hold of her. She admitted, she had turned off the ringer and that her and Rick had been together. When I asked her more about it, she explained it this way–

She said he came to her duplex in Springfield late one night while she was sleeping. Then she said, since he still had a key, he came in and “raped” her. Then the following day, she and her girls went with him and his sister, and their kids, to a 4th of July fireworks display.

When I learned about it a couple days later, I encouraged her to file charges against him, she started saying that it wasn’t rape, but more that he had pressured her in to giving him a “farewell fuck”!

Shortly after she moved to Beaverton, we found a note on her car one morning that she said was from Rick. After she refused to read me the note or give me a copy, we got into a big fight and broke up. Because of it, and how much she was “afraid”, she said she had Rick stay with her a couple nights. But to her credit, she had him sleep on the couch and they never, ever did anything “sexual”.

So when we got back together, a week or so later, she told me that she had decided to throw away her birth control pills, which I found in the bathroom trash, right where she said they would be–

While I don’t know for sure, if there was anybody encouraging the girls to do all these sexual things around me, and sometimes with me, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn Rick was deeply involved in all of this mischief. Here’s why.

It’s very possible he knew that one of his boys, who were both more than three years older than Christel’s oldest daughter, were experimenting sexually with her, while Christel and him were upstairs. In fact, I would be shocked if they weren’t, given the circumstances described below.

This means, Rick had a lot to lose. He had made all sorts of explicit material available to all the kids (creating a sexually charged environment). and he could be charged with contributing to the delinquency of several minors.

Additionally, he may have also known that he, and Christel, could be charged with being accessories to the sexual assault of a minor child, if either of his boys had ever done anything sexual with Christel’s oldest daughter.

So maybe it was in both Christel and Rick’s best interest to get the sexually-active older daughter to have some kind of sex with me, at least once. Maybe one of them had offered her some kind of consideration if she could get me to do it once?

But we do know this, because of the book her mother gave her, and the pornography available on the computer, both Rick and Christel appear to have been grooming the older daughter to be interested in sex ever since they met.

So, it all began that afternoon when the younger daughter came running down the hall — running right past her mother, and hopped on to my lap and tightly wrapped her arms and legs around me and grabbed my neck. As I was pealing her hands away, she began grinding her butt into my lap, forward and back, as though she had been coached to do it just this way.

We struggled for a few moments, as she laughed. Then I pulled her hands free and lifted her into the air and off my lap, just as the older daughter, who was also completely naked, unexpectedly came running down the hall.

as a woman will try to ignore what’s happening to her and still become moist when she’s being raped, Similarly, this small amount of direct contact with the younger daughter had probably already caused the tip of my almost naked penis to begin to respond. If true, I didn’t think about it or notice it and sat back down.

Her mother may have giggled but said nothing to reprimand her, as the older daughter jumped on to my lap…and fell forward against me.

Instinctively, I reached out to grab her so she wouldn’t fall backwards. As my hands fell across her back side, I realized she was also naked! I quickly left go.

If I was the pervert that the persecutor and the cops were trying to make me out to be, it seems like I would have fell to my back and allowed her naked body to fall on top of me. Then I could have carefully rested my hands on her butt and just laid there letting (or maybe helping) her do what ever she wanted to do to me…but that’s not what I did or thought about doing when it happened.

But once you’re wrongly accused of molesting a child, your mind is forced to attempt to prove your innocence by considering what you could have done if you were the creep they were making you out to be.

So along with explaining what I did do (which is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING SEXUAL!), I am also forced to explain in exact detail why this is true, by explaining what I could have very easily done.

If you read my account, I believe my circumstances, and what I didn’t do, prove how the over reaching arm of the “law” came after me, selectively. And since I know I will never get a fair hearing in Oregon, or probably anywhere else, I am compelled to make that argument here, in these writings.

I’ve written about this in other chapters, but so you know I never got a trial when I was first accused. And two years later, “they” did everything to make sure I couldn’t attend my divorce/custody trial by arresting me on an alleged PV just three days earlier.

Ask yourself, does it make any sense that my PO would call me on Thursday morning and order me to report to his office the following Monday, knowing my custody trial was scheduled for that same week, Thursday afternoon?

And when I asked, he refused to tell me why he needed to see me. You know, a lot of guys would become extremely angry if they suspected their PO had made a dirty deal with their wife, or maybe her lawyer, or who knows, maybe her new beau (or maybe his ex-wife who didn’t want some of their dirt coming out.

Because of all the recent shootings, why would any PO want to upset one of his “clients”? and why wouldn’t he want to see me right away, since he was instructed by his handler to asked Washington County Circuit Judge “Ruthless Rita” Cobb to give me thirty days, which she promptly did. And she did this — stole my son, without allowing me to say a single word in my own defense (although I only “served” ten days of the “sentence”)?

OH WAIT! I know the answer! Because I might be able to get out before the following Thursday, and that would screw up the whole dirty deal I suspect was made between my wife’s friends (including some people connected to the E-Bay Corporation and U.S. Senator Ron Wyden) and my PO and his supervisor (who coincidentally was appointed to the Executive Director of the Board of Pardons and Paroles by the governor soon after this)…

So back to the couch. Here’s exactly what I did and didn’t do, while their mother was silently encouraging her two naked young daughters to bounce on my lap, I’ll have to, at certain points, explain it in some graphic detail, hopefully without sounding like to much of a perve. Since most people have already decided, it probably doesn’t really matter much what I say. But here’s what happened–

In that first brief instant when my hands brushed across her back and my fingers briefly touched her naked butt, I also immediately realized her bottom side was a lot more round and filled out than I knew, and that she wasn’t the little girl I had imagined. A part of me has to wonder, because I’m blind, if she simply wanted me to see how pretty she was. You would be surprised how often women will push their bodies up against me, or just come right out and ask me if I “want to see what they look like?” And sometimes, they don’t even ask…

Throughout these writings I have tried to offer evidence of how many times I could have been a willing participant in these crazy sex games. And it’s true, when the girls weren’t involved I often did, like the time Christel and me rented a tandem bike and pulled off the trail into the woods for a quickie, as people were walking and riding bye.

So, given my natural healthy enthusiasm for sex, I could have easily left my hands right there on the older daughter’s butt, and pulled her closer to me, while protesting aloud!

Rather than reaching back and grabbing her hands, I could have just kept my hands on her backside and started wrestling with her, pretending to object to her closeness, while perhaps moving her into position.

Instead, back here in reality, instantly both of my hands dropped to my side! I remember looking in the direction of her mother, and giving her a questioning look, like, ‘What’em I supposed to do now’, since it appeared her daughter wasn’t going to get off my lap on her own?

As a healthy male, you can bet a secret signal was instantly sent to another part of my brain, about what was happening. However, in those first few moments I know my conscious brain completely ignored any thoughts of having a naked pre-teenage girl (and her round butt) firmly sitting on my lap, facing me. So, in the beginning, I mistakenly thought it would be best to just ignore the problem until it went away, or her mother screamed at her, like she usually did when the girls did anything wrong.

This usually worked, when I knew the girls were deliberately annoying me. It didn’t take long to realize waiting for her, or waiting for her mother to tell her to, go away wasn’t going to work this time. Hmm…

As most people know, even before the breast begin to develop, when a young girl’s bottom begins to fill out this is the first sign that her body is entering into womanhood, and potentially, motherhood? And as we all should know becoming a mother only takes a split second of direct contact between one single sperm and the female egg while she’s ovulating, even for an eleven-year-old.

A chemical signal is sent out to every sperm in the neighborhood during ovulation, chemically instructing it as to how to find the waiting egg. And if the genitals of one or both participants are exposed, they may have no way to stop this biological process from happening, once their genitals make contact.

While I have no way of knowing for sure, and I never checked, I’m pretty sure based on something I overheard the older daughter had already begun growing some pubic hair; By the late fall of 2000 she may have had clear visible signs of her ability to ovulate.

If true, and it seems like Christel would know, and it sure seems like there’s no way she couldn’t have known, it should have been obvious to the mother of this developing young pre-teenage girl the risk she was letting her daughter take by placing her naked, maturing vagina so close to, or touching, the barely covered penis of a healthy, mature male.

In the beginning, her naked butt was sitting on my bare thighs. And it was slightly closer to my knees then my crotch. And her arms and legs were loosely draped around my neck and waist.

In truth, at this moment it wasn’t a total shock to find the older daughter naked, sitting on my lap. Although it was a little embarrassing, especially since she was facing me and I could feel her uncovered bottom sitting on my thighs. Not to mention, this entire time her legs were wrapped partly around my waist, trapping me between her thighs.

If a mature woman had gotten naked and surprised her blind lover in this same exact way, you would have to agree this entire scene would be incredibly romantic and sexy! Is this why her mother thought it was so cute?

Not to make excuses, but seeing someone’s face does really matter in the spur of the moment. Sighted people would tell you that seeing is always an advantage, but I can tell you that’s not always true. But in those first moments, obviously it helps to have that additional information as the brain processes the situation and decides how to best react.

Imagine you were completely blind and you were suddenly grabbed by someone. The grip is tight and it may be a robber preparing to strike, and it’s more frightening because they’re saying nothing aloud, but instead it’s a deaf man who knows I’m lost and only wants to help.

At that instant, do you fight or relax. It’s not so easy to decide anything quickly and know how to best respond when you’re completely blind. No matter who You are, you have to first gather enough information to know what’s best…

For me, it was a true moment of cognizant dissidence, having a naked, friendly not so little female body sitting on my lap, facing me.

By this age, the older daughter’s bottom half wasn’t a whole lot different than several of the mature women I have known intimately in my life, and made love to in this same way.

Christel and I talked about her and her smaller sister many times before this, who she sarcastically called the “little pretty one”. In one conversation, I remember making the mistake of telling her I liked petite women who could sit on my lap in this way while making love, which in retrospect may have made her really angry, although it wasn’t ever my intentions to remind her.

Before this, the older daughter and I had only hugged or once and awhile held hands while we were all walking around the mall or the grocery store.

I knew the girls would run around the house naked since I would sometimes hear their mother playfully scolding them about being naked. But until then I had never had any direct contact with them when they weren’t wearing clothes.

Now I have to wonder, was their mother also filming them while they were running around naked…and maybe hoping I would reach out and grab them when they ran bye. This may explain why they would always tickle me or smack my butt when they ran past?

Was Christel (or the girls) hoping I would “see” for myself how naked they really were when they ran past? But I never did, not even once-

There were lots of opportunities where I probably could have “accidentally”, or intentionally, fondled the girls butts or didis, and who knows, maybe that’s what a part of them wanted me to do. But I never did, other than this one afternoon on the couch, when I could feel their naked bottoms bouncing on my lap, and I could definitely feel them repeatedly pushing their naked didis against my crotch.

Here’s the hard truth. Despite all the previous playfulness, from that very first time when the older daughter decided (or was encouraged) to take off all of her clothes, including her underwear, and jump on my lap so I could “see” all of her, our relationship changed. And after she jumped on my lap, and then wrapped her arms and legs around me, and then moved her naked bottom even closer and began wrestling me for control, the nature of our relationship changed forever. Here’s why-

When she first jumped on me and fell forward, with nothing more than a very thin piece of cloth separating our most private body parts I would imagine our secret places must have briefly touched. So while I ignored it, and my brain tried to focus on the game, my body immediately knew our genitals had made contact, and probably began to respond, physiologically.

As I said earlier, we know any amount of contact between the genitals of a male and female under the right circumstances can not only cause one or both of them to instantly become aroused, it can also result in the creation of a fertilized egg. In fact, the female doesn’t even need to be aroused or completely entered to become pregnant.

If she were wearing clothes when this happened, and had jumped on my lap sideways, or only sat still, this wouldn’t be a real big deal, although certainly not appropriate for any young lady who was already entering puberty, and womanhood.

But instead, she first willingly took, or was encouraged to take, off every bit of her clothes, including her most private and protective piece of clothing, her panties!

Since I was wearing shorts, and had she been wearing at the very least underwear or swimming trunks, I’m sure it would have felt different then it did, sitting naked on my lap with her legs spread wide apart and our genitals bumping against each other. Even if I had inadvertently become a little aroused by the feel of her softness rubbing against me, as I did, it would seem very unlikely that any of my fluids, which are naturally released by the male body at the very start of any sign of being aroused, could have ever had even the slightest chance to enter her vagina…and ever had the chance to impregnate her, as I now must consider her mother may have been hoping would happen.

She intentionally, or was encouraged to, place her body (and exposed vagina) against me in the most intimate way possible, as though her or her mother, or someone else, planned it this way. And a moment later, when she moved even closer and began pushing in to, or on to, me, I discovered she wasn’t the shy little girl I had imagined, or at least not any more

From that very first moment, to anyone who would have been watching, it was obvious that our genitals appeared to have touch. So knowing her daughter was completely naked and I was only wearing a pair of thin shorts, which in all possibilities could have already popped open one or more of its flimsy buttons, or could have had a small amount of dried semen on them from the night before when Christel and I were making out on the couch.

Her mother should have put an end to it. She should have immediately pulled her off my lap. Instead Christel only made it worse by giggling at my obvious embarrassment and confusion over what to do about it.

I would imagine I must have looked completely dumbfounded when this was happening. And this apparently only made all of them laugh more–

A few moments later when I reach back to unhook her arms and lift the older, heavier daughter to her feet, she grabbed on to my neck a little tighter, sliding her bottom half closer.

So, despite that I was wearing a pair of nylon shorts, I know at this point our bodies were definitely touching in the most intimate way possible, as her mom watched–

If it’s not obvious, here’s the problem with her mom doing nothing. Inadvertently, at the moment the older daughter moved closer to me the opening of her completely naked, completely exposed, and possibly ovulating vagina was now resting directly over or against what was already probably the beginning of a small erection!

I apologize for being so damn graphic, but I would imagine by spreading her legs apart so far, the lips of her vagina were also being pulled apart. Because of this, every time we touched she was probably rubbing the extremely sensitive skin inside the lips of the vagina (which surrounds the opening)directly against my circumcised tip.

I believe, because of how she was wrapped around me, it means she was very likely able to easily feel my damp tip pushing against the moist opening of her didi from almost the very first moment she moved closer to me.

Based on her age and experience (which I’ll explain better later), any of this sort of physical contact with almost any man (or teenage boy) I would bet would cause any young girl around this age, based on these same circumstances, to quickly become aroused by the contact, and quickly become moist.

And if we wanted to be completely honest, even more aroused than she may have already been when she first took off her clothes and began thinking about exactly what she would do when it was her turn.

So, to my surprise she didn’t get up, but just stayed right there with her arms wrapped around my neck, sitting on or against my unusual protruding anatomy — sitting on me in the most intimate way possible, until I was able to remove her from my lap.

Until now I hadn’t thought much about her own physical or emotional reaction to what was happening, and what it likely meant, but here’s what I think happened.

I remember, her body swayed forward and back while she was struggling with me, tightening her grip around my waist and neck, and laughing. At the same time, her bottom pushed into me forcing even more contact between us. Because of the way her legs were spread wide apart, it’s not surprising nothing good would come from this situation…Yet her mother said nothing, just kept giggling, and apparently watching out of the corner of her eye–

As I said, the only thing separating our most private body parts was a extremely thin piece of slightly damp, nylon cloth, which if I think about it now, probably wouldn’t have felt much different than if I had been wearing absolutely nothing at all while she was doing this!

Whenever she stopped moving, gravity and the downward pressure of her larger and rounder buttocks naturally forced me to begin to slide into the empty valley somewhere in between her fleshy bottom; it seemed to draw me in, as I felt her push down.

And as I began to feel her soft underside begin to firmly settle on to and around me, I tried even harder to pull her hands loose. I suppose, I was still expecting Christel to tell her to get off my lap! But she said nothing?

But there may have been something else going on in the oldest daughter’s mind at that moment…something that she may not herself have consciously been completely aware of, regarding the natural desires of her quickly maturing body-

That is, knowing what I know about several of the males who were given unsupervised access to one or both of girls–

For example, Christel began a sexual relationship with her older daughter’s father, Frank, when she herself was still a young minor. Christel claimed the reason Frank had never found another girlfriend his own age, or any other girlfriend, was because of his obsession over having had a girlfriend [her] who was almost twenty years younger than him.

Christel also told me that several years later, while they were sharing an apartment in Roseburg, she came home unexpectedly and caught Frank having sex with an inflatable doll he owned. She never told me, and I didn’t think to ask, but I have to wonder where their daughter was when this happened? It may explain why Christel kept her daughter away from Frank for most of her younger life.

But really, the secret voyeurs who pleasure themselves by watching are the real perverts (and usually are the ones who pretend to be disgusted), since every person has the right to pleasure themselves, privately, despite the risk it may pose to their long-term vision.

But in the age of sexual equality, we really shouldn’t consider a man’s right to pleasure themselves, privately, to be any different than any woman who chooses to lay in her bed and pleasure herself with a vibrator, dildo, or her own hand (while no one other than the NSA can watch, through one of those low energy light bulbs that weigh about two tons; or one of those low energy shower heads that weigh four tons; or some other electronic device that happens to be in the room, like an alarm clock, radio, television, or phone).

Yet simply because males usually leave behind physical evidence (that can be easily stolen), where females do not, we publicly threaten men who choose to pleasure themselves with blindness and endless ridicule, or something worse.

And simply because a male’s private parts are external, and therefore exposed during urination, where a female’s parts are mostly hidden, we almost always only punish men for urinating outside. And then we put them on a list with most of the local “cripple” men where all the neighborhood psychopath-vigilantes (and a few of these “neighborhood watch” weirdo’s), are trying to kill them !

So because of the serious allegation made against me by the state, I can’t help but now wonder, simply because he was at the time single and had a young blooming daughter, what else Frank may have done to fulfill his healthy sexual appetite? Perhaps, after a couple beers, who knows, maybe convincing his pretty young daughter to give him a lap dance or two?

And you would have to agree, if anything like this ever did happen it would be a strong reason why Frank or someone else might want to encourage the oldest daughter to try to have some sort of sex with me, and then report me to the police.

Maybe this is why when Detectives Marley and Oaes came to my home, and I invited them in, they didn’t want to talk to me about anything inappropriate that involved her mother or father, or her mother’s previous boyfriends, or his teenage boys (who were left alone with the girls over night, dozens of times)?

Why did her mom decide to wait for two and a half years before making this erroneous allegation against me, alleging that I had “touched her daughter’s breast in a sexual manner”, given all the other crazy stuff that really did happen around there (under her mother’s nose)?

Was it because Christel knew I never willingly had any sort of real sexual contact with the older daughter, unlike perhaps some of the other males who had been in her life…

Once wile we were living in Beaverton Christel said she had discovered a bottle of lotion hidden under a blanket on the living room floor, where Frank and their daughter had been sleeping. Obviously, finding a bottle of hand lotion while cleaning up doesn’t really prove anything inappropriate had happened. However, on the other hand, it is curious…

One of Frank’s close friends, named Michael who liked wearing an elf’s costume around Eugene, admitted to me in 2000 that he had been “convicted” of molesting a male child a few years earlier. When I asked, Christel said she knew about it.

Despite Michael’s previous conviction and odd costumes, once on our way to Roseburg Christel decided that it would be okay to drop her oldest daughter off for the weekend at this abandon elementary school along I-5 where Frank was staying. When we were pulling out, Christel told me she saw Michael through her mirror coming out from around the corner, dressed in an elf suit.

Apparently, Frank’s friend, who was a registered sex offender, and his parents owned the abandon school and were living there at the time.

Then there was Christel’s previous boyfriend, Rick, who I mentioned earlier and who she said had a “serious porn problem”. And had two (obviously well-educated, horny) teenage boys who apparently had access to all of their dad’s pornography.

Before Christel and I became engaged in the summer of 2001, she told me Rick and his boys would often stay over night, sometimes two or three times a week. She also told me that there was always lots of explicit sexual material laying around Rick’s trailer, which was parked up the street at his sister’s house on Lawnridge. So apparently, there was always lots of porn for the boys to “borrow” while their dad was busy upstairs.

So it’s very possible the older daughter had already lost her virginity to one of these males and was sexually active when we first met in the fall of 2000. I was introduced to Christel by Frank and his daughter a few months later, in February of 2001.

Knowing this, and knowing the lack of general supervision from her mother, the older daughter’s sudden brazen behavior and genuine excitement over what was happening suggests to me she may have gotten naked and done something very similar to this with someone else before me…who may have not stopped. And it’s very possible that her mother knew about it.

On a couple different nights, and usually when she had been drinking a lot of wine, Christel encouraged me to play this one sex game where I was supposed to pretend she was a nine-year-old girl I was seducing. She wanted me to describe, step-by-step what I would do, after we met in a park, or somewhere. When I remember, I said something about being uncomfortable with this sexual fantasy, especially since she had begun telling me about her own sexual abuse as a child.

I’m sure she remembered our conversation the next day and may have been embarrassed. because she never did bring this fantasy up again after that. I also noticed after this happened, she began to seem more distant, sexually. Did my unwillingness to play this particular fantasy disappoint her? I always wondered if that was the beginning of the end for us…

So, one night while we were sipping wine, I carefully asked about what made her want to play this particular sex game? She began telling me about how once her mother had taken her to this adult party when she was only nine. She said they gave her some LSD. Then she said she couldn’t remember much of what happened that night, other than remembering how the men had passed her around the room.

So, if Christel had herself been with [raped by] a lot of adult men by this age, around nine or ten, maybe she decided her daughter’s body at age eleven (and her vagina) were physically mature enough, and therefore more than old enough to do anything she, or anyone else who had her consent, wanted to do, sexually.

Maybe they already had an understanding BETWEEN THEM, AND they agreed it was entirely her older daughter’s choice, as a maturing young woman, about when, how, and who she had sex with (or fooled around with), apparently including any of her mom’s “partners”?

And maybe THAT’S WHY Christel SAID NOTHING when she saw her oldest daughter begin to push her naked bottom into my lap, simulating sex, as long as no one was forcing her to do anything she didn’t want to do…and maybe that’s why the older daughter didn’t have to stop, even when I asked, politely.

As we all know, normally, within just a few seconds, a healthy man can become fully aroused from direct stimulation to his penis. While it’s not considered to be polite or generous (when with a partner), a man who has been aroused can ejaculate within seconds of becoming partially erect if stimulated in just the right way. This is no secret; Christel knows this. But yet she allowed this intimate contact to go on between her older, naked daughter and me for almost a minute? They made it seem so normal–

One of the troubling things I discovered about Christel was her habit of drugging her younger daughter with benedrill at night, just like Jennifer and Sarah Hart were doing to their six adopted children (before they murdered them).

Christel’s younger daughter was very hyper-active. So that’s why Christel said, it was to give her some peace of mind, but it may have also been to give everyone else some freedom and sexual privacy in the evenings. So I know, she almost always gave her youngest daughter benedrill when I first started coming over to spend the night–

So, it’s easy to imagine that while Christel and Rick were upstairs, there may have been some experimenting going on downstairs, after the youngest (and sometimes, the most annoying) sibling fell asleep.

When I began staying over night at her Springfield home, the girls would often spread a blanket out in front of the TV and fall asleep watching a movie while Christel and I stayed up stairs. I’m sure all of the kids figured out pretty quickly that when Christel had any male company no adults would ever be checking on them until morning…and all of them could safely explore their own sexual curiosities, as I can testify almost every teenage boy will do when any girl is around who shows any interest at all.

And it’s hard to believe that both of the boys wouldn’t have some “interest” in Christel’s older curious daughter, who she often described as being “very pretty”.

I’m no expert on what happens to the anatomy of ten or eleven-year-old girls who are already having sex, maybe a few times a month, but I know almost all women will become more easily aroused and more “pliable” the more often they have intercourse. In a very short time for most females the vagina will naturally become moist and begin to stretch and become more accessible to the man’s penis, regardless of his size or her previous experience.

Writing about all of this, reminded me of Beverly Marsh, an eleven-year-old female character from Stephen King’s book, a major network movie, and the “box office smash (sure to be nominated for an Oscar or two), “It”, although horror films rarely win any of the major awards from Hollyweird.

In chapter 22 King describes how this apparently victim of incest decided to suddenly have sexual intercourse with each of her six male companions (, obviously, to help them focus so they could save Beverly’s “helpless ass”, according to the boys, who each affirmed this belief by agreeing to participate in the “gang bang”!).

In other words, King’s eleven-year-old heroin is able to do this with six boys, without suffering or bleeding (despite having no break between partners and having no lubricant)! Really Stephen? Did your wife Tabitha, who is also a best selling author and an activist, read this incredible cowshit?

Chapter 22 certainly does, and may have been partly intended to, poison the minds of young boys to believe the normal female body and mind is able to, regardless of age, easily handle multiple sexual partners, both physically and emotionally.

While there are some adult, mature women who can, and do, enjoy this sort of sexual freedom, most young men and teenage boys should know meeting someone like this at a party or anywhere else (unless cash is involved) is very, very unlikely. So don’t expect it to happen.

And since Stephen King and his sick publishers didn’t feel motivated to tell you this, let me warn you, all teenage boys who find themselves in these circumstances should realize this is a clear red flag that something’s wrong, so don’t make it worse!

Did Tabitha King write this chapter based on one of her own fantasies? It’s possible–

I wonder if who ever wrote it knows, Almost every boy who reads this provocative chapter will likely begin to look for (obsess over) a young girl, just like Beverly–who will never say “no”!

According to the author, the victim and the boys were all around the same age, which apparently made it more acceptable (And less degrading to the victim?). And maybe that’s why nobody that I know of ever said anything negative about this book or this chapter, except me.

In my humble opinion, without this odd chapter this would have been one of the greatest horror books ever written. So maybe we should consider, in the age of “me too”, we should also ask who are these people who are promoting this sort of blatant sexual abuse against a child?

Personally, I would like to “see” someone some day put the author, Stephen King, on the hot seat. then ask him if this chapter was his idea, or his wife’s? Or perhaps, more likely, his pushy publishers or agent, who may have put him or his wife up to adding this perverse chapter at the end of the book (to boost sales?)–

Here’s what makes it even worse. If you read it, this chapter is not only about seven children having sexual intercourse, it’s also about how young girls can best contribute when it comes to solving group problems…”Just take off your panties honey, and leave it to the boys to get you out of this mess!”

If you haven’t read “It”, or forgot this chapter, I’ll refresh your memory. Better pull the shades (and grab a cold towel)!

In Chapter 22, Stephen King describes in great detail how the young Marsh girl is able to have two joyful orgasms with two of the boys, and suffers from only a slight amount of burning despite her young age [11] and despite having intercourse with six consecutive partners (with no break or lubricant). Sounds pretty crazy, doesn’t it?

I suspect any experienced sex worker would tell you having vaginal intercourse with six consecutive partners (and then have two orgasms with the last two partners) would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, for any woman to do, let alone an eleven-year-old!

Most experienced men know Stephen, most female victims of any sort of sexual assault struggle with having orgasms, even decades later when they are with a loving, patient partner.

So portraying this young incest victim (of multiple sexual assaults) having two orgasms with two different partners who, along with four other boys, are taking turns, seems extremely insensitive, and a little perverse, for America’s greatest horror writer.

And as I said, what message does this scene send to young girls about what their role should be, once they have been abused? I know what the “boys” would say, and this book and its two movies certainly have re-enforced that belief.

It’s hard to say where the famous Jewish horror writer and his Jewish publisher’s and agent minds were when the book describes this next scene in explicit detail about how, after her four previous partners, Beverly’s young vagina is able to quickly open up to, and accept, Eddie’s larger penis, who apparently (mostly because of its size) helps her to reach her first real orgasm. “Way to go Stephen!”

It’s too bad, that instead of teaching young men that recognizing this form of acting out is likely a possible sign of a young girl’s previous victimization or abuse. And maybe teaching young men to have the courage to stand up to peer pressure and not participate, and maybe even rescuing her from what is likely to later become an embarrassing experience. Instead, Stephen King’s book glamorizes the entire event.

We know Bill is the boy she really wants to be with, and the reader is rooting for them to get together. Then Beverly at last rewards both Bill and the reader, as we listen to her intimate thoughts as they are making love and she has her second orgasm.

So why do you suppose the author chose to instead have her offer her body up to all of the boys before Bill? Are we supposed to believe that by doing this it will somehow help Beverly heal from her pain?

But what do we really learn from this massive amount of reading about children screwing each other?

And according to the author, what’s the reward?

We learn, the ultimate prize, after all of this “gang banging”, is that the boys are able to lead the “helpless” little girl to safety, now that she has shared her “love” with all of them, as King puts it–

So, given all of her and her daughter’s many adventurous experiences, it’s very possible Christel may have carefully arranged “it”.

Maybe, as I said, she comes up with the idea of telling the girls she wants to test my virtue, and gets the girls to help her. The younger goes first. Then she has her older, experienced daughter, place herself on me in the most intimate position possible, because she knew it was the quickest way to stimulate us, physically, while she watched. Especially if Christel knew her young daughter was already having sexual intercourse, but hadn’t been with anyone for a few months. So maybe Christel knew it would only take a small amount of contact with my crotch to get her naked didi to become aroused, and interested.

By getting her to wrap her legs around me, she knew her daughter would be exposing the most sensitive part of her body — the soft skin that surrounds the inside of the lips of the vagina. She knows it will only take a few seconds of direct contact before her daughter’s vagina becomes stimulated, and even more accessible.

Almost everyone remembers having that first real lover; everyone knows, after you get past that first awkwardness, you, or more accurately your body, could never get enough touching! Boys or girls, it’s all you ever think about!

So maybe having her daughter sitting naked on my lap, with our genitals bumping against each other, Christel knew her adventurous daughter, who at first only wants me to see how pretty she is, would quickly become aroused from the contact. And maybe she figured I wouldn’t resist the “opportunity”, once I too became stimulated by the feel of having a naked, “eager moist beaver” rubbing against my almost naked, and probably damp, penis!

Maybe, as long as her daughter stayed there on my lap long enough, inadvertently rubbing and bumping against me; sliding forward and pushing down on me, Christel knew, or believed, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from participating in “the game”. And she knew from her own experience, once your in the game it’s hard to get out. Maybe she just didn’t know exactly how long it would take to get me interested enough to play?

Unlike her younger sister, the older daughter was a lot bigger in every way. I would say she was probably twice her sister’s size. And she was a lot stronger, which meant her grip around my neck and waist was a whole lot tighter.

As I said, I leaned back and tried to peal her arms from around my neck. And she struggled even more to hold on, causing her bottom to wiggle into a “better” position.

Her mother’s laughter only re-enforced her belief that this was okay — getting naked and, perhaps unintentionally, simulating having sex with her mom’s boyfriend, while her mom watched.

Maybe in her young mind she thinks, ‘It isn’t like she’s really having real sex with her mom’s real boyfriend!’ So maybe when it began her brain convinced her it was only a movie or a game and it was okay to pretend, when she took off her clothes and underwear, and first jumped on my lap. After it started, and she began to feel aroused, without telling her, her body’s motives may have changed. And as I said, for a man I know this can only take a few seconds.

While I’m not a lawyer, to the best of my understanding here’s the general rule as far as what does and does not constitute a sex crime, especially when a minor is involved.

However, in most neo-liberal states, such as Oregon, the rule is a little different. Here, the male (who has no money for a private attorney) is almost always the “bad guy”, and the female (unless they are disabled, or extremely unattractive, or not white enough) are almost always automatically labeled as the victim.

Obviously, understanding what is and isn’t sexually criminal is very complicated, especially when minors are involved. However, apparently when it comes to minors, gratification comes down to whether or not the accused was either gratified by the act, or whether or not they knew, or should have known they were gratifying the minor by performing the act.,

As the reader should know by now, the older daughter was pretending to have sex with me to gratify her mother, who was obviously enjoying the entertainment.

And maybe, at a subconscious level, the older daughter may have been also gratifying herself?

As far as the law goes, I don’t think the older daughter was knowingly trying to gratify me that afternoon, and I did nothing to encourage her, even if I had started to become stimulated by the unwelcome contact of her eager vagina, as almost any male soon would. The moment I noticed this happening, I quickly began removing her from my lap, and never stopped until I lifted her off of me.

Truth is, I could have sat perfectly still, waiting to be gratified by the soft feel of her developing underside settling down on to me, and let nature take its course.

During the day, Christel would keep the apartment around ninety degrees most of the time, which is reflected by our extremely high electric bills. Even though I think it was October or early November, as usual I was wearing nothing more than thin running shorts and a t-shirt.

As I try to analyze what happen that fall afternoon, honestly, I would have to admit long, long before my brain ever thought about it, my body already knew. I suspect my tip recognized instantly the touch and feel of that familiar soft curve pushing against it — as though it were searching for it, and began to react.

Ironically, I remember wanting her mother to tell her to get off of me! So I wouldn’t have to be the villain.

I suppose, if she had lost her virginity and her hymen had already been broken, and had been having intercourse with someone, then maybe this would explain why her body seem to want to force as much intimate contact between us as possible…as her mother vicariously watched…and silently gave her daughter the approval she needed.

As much as I try to write down (and edit) my perceptions, I can’t seem to ever find the right words to explain just how truly weird this whole situation was!

As I said, it happened so quickly. It seemed as though the older daughter’s body, much like any mature woman would do, was subconsciously trying everything it could to slip over the tip, and pull me inside, as it may have started to do, even though I was wearing shorts…before I pulled her off of me–

Partly because of her age, and maybe for the other reasons I describe, the older daughter’s motions were a lot slower and seemed more intentional, which only made the situation worse, as opposed to how it felt when the younger daughter’s bony butt (and quicker movements) was sliding back and forth across my lap.

As most adults know, the opening of the vagina will open wider during both stimulation and child birth. Only a conscious effort on the part of the female, such as when a woman is being raped, can prevent this natural response from happening. Although, it is unlikely to prevent or stop any sort of forcible penetration.

So along with possibly causing the older daughter to become stimulated, my body was probably also beginning to release a small amount of semen. This is perfectly normal for any male during the first moments of arousal. It is similar to how a woman will sometimes have an orgasm while she is being raped.

Unlike a condom, the thin material of my shorts would not likely prevent some of my semen and sperm from seeping through the thin cloth.

The growing moisture on the tip, along with the slippery nylon cloth and her own moisture, could have acted like a lubricant, which may have made the opening of the labia and vagina more slippery and easier to penetrate. Especially if she was “experienced”.

On a side note, as most people know, the male sperm is an amazing ‘animal’. It is released from the penis at an incredible speed of over thirty miles per hour during ejaculation. While most of the fluid released from the penis is semen, and not actual sperm, the amount of sperm released during ejaculation can be in the tens of millions. The sperm has only one true purpose in life; the sperm lives to find and penetrate the female egg. It’s possible that sperm numbering in the hundreds of thousands, and maybe even millions, were already waiting when the older daughter moved her bottom up against me…

As a matter of fact, the sperm is always waiting on the tip of any slightly aroused penis, waiting to be inserted into, or brought near to, any vagina. The penis could care less who’s vagina it is entering.

Because of the sperm’s fierce will to survive, any amount of male sperm, even just one, placed on, or inside of, or any where near the outer lips of the vagina will recognize the signal immediately and do anything it can to get inside the opening, in order to make that long swim up the vaginal canal toward the fallopian tube in search of the unfertilized egg. It knows this is the only way it will survive.

You might say, it’s that wonderful “Sent of a Woman”, or more accurately, the enzymes in her vagina that psychotically draws the sperm from its resting place deep inside the testicles out into the world, triggering the sperm’s natural desire to succeed at all costs.

At this point, its the greatest race of all — a race to the starting line! Without some kind of contraceptive, or its death (not more than twenty-four hours later, unless refrigerated), the sperm will not be otherwise prevented from completing its mission — impregnate the egg and create life.

Shortly after she jumped on my lap, I remember saying something to the older daughter like “What are you doing? Come on, stop that!” As I said, I think she may have even laughed at me once or twice, but wouldn’t let go.

Maybe I didn’t say it harsh enough to convey my concern about what she was doing to me, physically. I suppose I ignorantly thought she couldn’t feel my partial erection pushing against her most private area.

Intentionally or not, she seemed to have absolutely no reservations over the fact that she was starting to stimulate me, sexually. It was as though my lap were the horn of a saddle she were riding in a parade, while her mother cheered us on!

Fact is, it was a no win situation for me from the moment the girls first took off their clothes and decided to jump on my lap, no matter what I did, or how fast I did it, I would be the villain.

Sad thing is, I knew in their own minds the girls were teasing me — playing another silly game, like they often did. I didn’t want to shame them or give them a good reason to begin hating all men by getting angry, as I had every right to do. And as I said, I nervously giggled at some point over the ridiculous situation, being held down and mounted by a frisky eleven-year-old naked girl!

So, why would Christel let her older daughter get naked and simulate having sex with me in this intimate, easily accessible position? Was she trying to get me aroused so I would do something sexual with her daughter. intentional or not? By getting our genitals to touch, was she planting another seed in our minds that could possibly be cultivated later, if needed?

as I said, it happened so quickly. I didn’t realize it wasn’t a silly game any more, until those last few moments; the moment when I thought I felt her start to slip over me, as she was pushing down. Truthfully, not to be too graphic, it is also possible that what I felt at that moment was actually the tip of my penis starting to slip in front of her, between her thighs. I know, no matter what was or wasn’t happening, at that moment it definitely freaked me out!

At that very instant, I panicked! That’s why I didn’t notice the older daughter’s own physical reaction to what was happening. I do remember when I first tried to pull her free I felt her squeeze her thighs together as though she were trying to hold me in place, like a pair of kitchen pliers.

Like I said, she wasn’t yet a young woman or at the age of consent, but she wasn’t a little girl either, physically or emotionally. And while I may not have thought about her physical maturity before this, my body had already figured it out, as I may have felt in that last moment when a part of her soft underside may have instinctively open and close around the tip.

As most men know, a man can touch the opening of a woman’s vagina with his penis, his finger or his tongue, and the vagina will usually instantly open into a perfect circle, unless the woman is focused on not being entered (and is not being raped).

After inserting the penis, finger or tongue into the opening, the opening will instinctively close around it in a way that can’t be described in words; it’s a feeling that a man (or woman) is likely to never forget.

Simply the process of giving birth proves how powerful the woman’s vagina is!

When exercised, the vagina has the ability to take hold of something and not let go until it gets what it wants, which makes it almost seem like a woman inside of a woman.

So the reader knows, other than that first moment she unexpectedly jumped on me and I grabbed her and realized that she was naked, and I paused for a moment and let my hands drop to my side, I never stopped trying to pull the older daughter’s hands and arms from around me.

It’s taken me years to process what actually happened during this one particular minute in my life, when everything changed, and then gotten to a place where I’ve been able to write about it. Thinking about what I might have done differently?

Had I known at the time how Christel would viciously use and manipulate incidents just like this to vilify me, while excusing her own bad behavior. In retrospect, I could, and maybe should, have let all of my anger go at that moment and started screaming at all three of them!

“What are you sluts doing! Why are you trying to fuck me!”

But not now, or when it happened, have I been angry at the girls over what they were doing. I knew there was no real prurient intent in their hearts or ill-will toward me. Even if someone talked them into trying to get me to do something they knew was wrong, and they knew it was more than just a silly game.

Maybe not at first, but from the moment I heard her giggle over the embarrassing situation I quickly began to suspect their mother had a lot to do with what they were doing. And that’s probably why I was ignorantly waiting for Christel to make her older daughter to get her naked butt the hell off MY LAP! “And put on some damn clothes, for god’s sake!”

I’m sure they would be embarrassed today to talk about what happened. And I apologize, and would prefer not to embarrass the girls by bringing any of this stuff up. But my life now depends on telling my side of the story!

As I said, almost every day I am being assaulted in the crotch, feet, hands, scalp, nose and other more private places with some sort of invisible laser that can shock, burn, itch, or numb you. for from a distance.

As I’ve written about extensively in another chapter about being a “targeted individual” [TI] called “The Southgate Death Camp and the Slow Killing of a Blind Wolfe”, these weapons can cause you to lose your breath or your balance, or instantly feel sick to your stomach. These weapons can even cause you to pass out. And anyone can easily get them online!

So back to the couch. The one mistake I probably did make was pausing for a brief moment when it first started, for about ten seconds, trying to ignore the seriousness of the situation, and mistakenly thinking Christel would tell her to ‘get off me and get dressed!’

For a moment, let’s assume Christel had no part in this craziness, and maybe the youngest daughter was the one originally behind the plan, even if it did eventually get out of hand. From the moment Christel first noticed (not that she didn’t notice) that her oldest daughter was completely naked and sitting on her boyfriend’s lap, facing him, with at most a couple inches separating their genitals, she should have stood up and stopped it immediately.

And she certainly should have noticed a moment later, when her oldest daughter, who was beginning to bloom, had slid her naked, round bottom closer to her boyfriend’s genitals, and was not sitting still, obviously causing even more contact between their private areas.

So the reader better understands how Christel reacted when this happened, I’ll explain the moment one last time. Skip these next two paragraphs if you like, but this is how it went, and more importantly, how Christel responded.

I was leaning back pulling her arms from around my neck, when she pushed down one last time and I thought I felt her body begin to swallow my tip. I don’t know if she still had her hymen. She never made a sound that would have let me know she was in any pain, which I figured meant I had pulled her off me before anything serious had happened.

Then at that same moment, I thought I might have also felt the soft underside of her tighten around me. as she squeezed her legs together. At that same instant I roughly jerked her hands apart and broke her grip around my waist, and lifted her into the air.

Here’s the point and why this level of honesty is needed. At this very second when this happened I heard Christel laugh out loud, really loud! It was as though something had burst inside of her. I now wonder, did she have an orgasm?

She must have seen the shocked look on my face when it happen — when her daughter fell against me. Did seeing this cause Christel to instantly become excited? I could tell by the laughter that followed, Christel seemed to be extremely titillated by the live entertainment, and didn’t care that things had suddenly gotten a lot more serious. Except, here’s the really twisted part of this particular sex game.

I remember, at that moment the older daughter had quickly buried her face into my neck, and I felt her suddenly throw her long, wavy hair across my back and face. This is why I know her mother never saw the look on her daughter’s face when it happened…

But now, as I think back, her daughter must have also been shocked by the sudden intimate contact between our most sensitive and most private body parts…

I suppose it’s possible that her already aroused didi only needed that small, little tickle near the opening of her vagina to make it respond, as I suspect it probably did when she pushed down that last time–

that’s why today, I believe her older daughter may have had an orgasm at that moment when we seemed to touch, intimately. And it may have been her first.

Based on how I recall it felt at the moment when her entire body instinctively tightened around me, I realize now this is the same exact thing that happens when I’m making love to a mature woman when she’s sitting on my lap in this way.

Obviously if she were a mature woman, I would have acknowledged her physical response by rubbing her back and holding on to her as tight as I could until it was over, but that’s not what I did!

Honestly, the older daughter may or may not have understood what happened to her, other than suddenly feeling really dizzy and losing her breath.

Maybe a part of her wants to separate the memory from me. Maybe her body is telling her it felt nice, this strong physical sensation that for a moment took her breath away and made her feel warm all over!

But yet she feels ashamed, because she can’t separate me from the experience, which not surprisingly makes her feel angry. She thinks to herself, ‘It wasn’t so confusing before this when Rick and the boys were around, and slowly begins to hate me.

Because of both her mom’s and dad’s encouragement, and maybe someone else, over the next several months and years her anger is carefully cultivated and directed toward me. Especially when anything goes wrong. Rather than her anger being directed at her mother or grandmother, who would sometimes talk her into doing these crazy things(or through their own bad behavior, plant dangerous ideas in her mind). I am a convenient villain.

So after it happens, maybe she tries to tell her mom about her confusing feelings over how her body reacted so strangely when she was sitting on my lap, completely naked.

She maybe says, ‘Mommy, all the sudden I could feel it touching against my didi. Then I got this really weird tinglely feeling all over, and I think I almost passed out.’

Her mother just plays it off and tells her it was nothing, and to just try and forget about it.

Except her mom knows exactly what happened and why her body responded to having the inner lips of her young naked didi rubbed in this way by her boyfriend’s circumcised penis. It excites her, thinking about when she was watching her daughter slide her naked vagina back and forth across the round tip of her boyfriend’s erection. She imagines it growing larger.

Then she begins to worry that her daughter might tell someone else? After all, it may have been her idea to get her daughters to take their clothes off and straddle my lap in a way that she knew, or should have known, would force some direct intimate contact between the most sensitive part of our ‘sexual reproductive organs’.

Even if you want to give her the benefit of the doubt like Bob Hermann, Greg Olson and Dennis Marley did, think about what would be the worst possibility about what happened that day.

Christel may have gone as far as to knowingly have her daughters place their naked didis directly against the most private part of my body and move in a way that she knew I would very likely react, physically. Not to mention, sitting in this way on my lap would likely also cause her girls, especially her possibly sexually-active older daughter, to very quickly become aroused.

Christel had to know being completely naked with their legs spread apart wide while they were forcing the already parted lips of their developing vaginas down on to or against any male’s penis (and what would likely very quickly become a stiffening penis), their vaginas would, or could, be easily penetrated by the man’s tip, accidentally or not. Especially the older daughter, given her age and anatomy, and her possible previous sexual experience (and her mom’s apparent complete consent to be sexually active, if that’s what she wanted).

As I said, it lasted just a couple seconds. At the moment I realized what was happening, when I may have felt her empty space start to slip down over me, I quickly reacted and firmly pried her hands lose from around my neck.

Because of the way her legs were wrapped around me, and her extra weight, only then was I able to begin to stand up and lift the older daughter off my lap and break any sort of intimate contact between our bodies.

If you think about it, I could have easily sat perfectly still at that moment and done nothing; I could have simply pretended to be an unwilling participant as this young naked pre-teenage girl was unknowingly spreading the lips of her completely exposed vagina against the stiffening tip of my almost naked penis, and wiggling around while she was pushing down!

And what do you think would happen next, as she continued to bounce around on my lap in this same way, forward and down, while her mother watched?

Then, if I were a creep, I would have probably only needed a minute or so to let it happen, while pretending to listen to the game.

You see, if I had sat perfectly still and not pulled her off my lap, and if she had already lost her virginity, it may have only taken another minute before I slipped inside the opening and we actually began copulating!

I can assure you, if this had happened, my brainless friend would have responded to the moisture and intimate contact, and probably ejaculated within a few seconds!

My point in describing this possible outcome in such graphic detail is to make the reader understand how damn easy it would have been for me, or any real sexual predator, to take advantage of this amazing “opportunity”.

But that’s not what I did! And only a righteous asshole or vindictive woman could blame me for any of this craziness!

And god knows, If I had ever ejaculated on or in either of the girls for any reason at all, No one, including me, would ever defend my participation, regardless of the circumstances. But that never happened. And it was the choice I willfully made more than once!

As is so often the case in America today, and as my story proves, they crucified the poor man [me] anyway!

When it was over, and the older daughter had been removed from my lap, I could tell by her voice Christel was looking toward my crotch, perhaps looking to see if, and maybe hoping, I had released some of my bodily fluids, thinking it was all so funny. She just kept giggling at my obvious embarrassment; She thought it was funny that I had gotten an erotic lap dance from her naked, pre-teenage daughter who may have just had an orgasm, and maybe even her very first! (“Way to go, ‘Big Eddie’!”)

We know boys mature a little later than girls. So, from my own experience, as a twelve-year-old boy, I remember that sometimes it only took a good breeze to get my penis excited. At this point, rubbing it against anything wet for just a few seconds, like a bar of soap, would cause me to ejaculate. Why wouldn’t a young girl’s body around this same age react in the same way from this same sort of stimulation to her genitals?

After all of this, Christel said nothing as her younger, still naked daughter apparently came running back down the hallway again. I mistakenly sat back down, thinking the three of them were done having their fun trying to embarrass me.

I had just started to relax, when a moment later I felt the younger daughter jumped back on to my lap. in the same way She wrapped her arms and legs around my neck and waist and once again began sliding her naked butt back and forth across my partial erection, which I have no doubt by now she could easily feel rubbing against her fully exposed didi…which must have excited her even more.

This time I quickly stood up, preventing her naked bottom from having any further contact with me, as Christel continued to laugh.

When I stood up, I remember feeling ashamed and embarrassed about how my body reacted, so maybe I only imagined they were all staring at my crotch. Obviously I was shocked by what had been happening, and I hadn’t yet processed any of it. But there’s no doubt my body had reacted!

After words, I could tell by their extremely nervous laughter that both of the girls were sexually aroused by the experience, even if the younger one didn’t understand why.

This entire “game” is a typical form of classical “grooming”, of a child. The adult gets them to “play a game”, with the intent of getting them aroused, or at least curious about, and desirable for, this strange sexual sensation. By getting the child to laugh while it’s happening, the young or inexperienced person is more likely to feel comfortable and more easily give into the feeling and continue to “play the game”.

Between adults, this is part of the normal seduction process, but when an adult does it to a child, even if they use someone else as the vehicle or instrument, it can be considered criminal. And don’t assume the adult who arranged the “game” will be the one held accountable, especially when it’s the “hot mom” doing it!

So as a warning to any blind man who is dating a woman with female children, I graduated college with honors in pre-law, yet I was still too dumb at the time to realize what was happening even though I was right there when it was happening. So don’t be a dumb ass like me!

I was stupid enough to completely trust and believe their mother knew, and assumed all mothers instinctively knew, what was and was not appropriate behavior for sexually-curious girls this young when any man was around. But maybe she did know, and wanted to have something she could use against me, if necessary. After being accused, I learned that there were at least six other men that Christel had accused of some sort of sexual abuse.

Obviously, young girls will very likely try to imitate their mother’s behavior, good or bad, and maybe that’s what made this relationship an unnegotiable dilemma from the beginning, even if I never figured it out until it was over. Every woman I ever dated who had a daughter was always protective of them whenever any grown man was around, so living with this family of frisky females, as a blind man, was quite a shock, as you can imagine.

Even before we met, I know the girls were being groomed in one way or another by most of the adults around them to obsess over their “didis”, in a way that I know now was not either healthy or appropriate. No one can ever say our dinner conversations were exactly what you might call normal, but what is “normal” in the wild west isn’t the same as most of the places where I’ve lived–

Perhaps this one conversation about young French girls Christel and I once had late one night may be the best example of her thought process around sex and her girls. This incident is another example of how Christel would often share with me, and probably many of her male partners, information about her own girls, or young girls’ in general, and their vaginas, and their ability and desire to have sex.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, talking about penises, vaginas, and all the different ways of having sex, was one of Christel’s favorite topics when we were alone, especially if she was drinking a little wine.

Intentionally or not, I now know Christel was also grooming me. I believe she was grooming me to feel comfortable with, and desirable for, having sex with her older daughter.

And who knows, maybe it came from guilt she felt over having these other secret sexual relationships. Since she knew her daughter was sexually active already maybe a part of her just wanted me to be happy too, and may have been willing to look the other way if that’s what me and her daughter both wanted to do?

And besides, she thinks what power she would have over me to do what ever she wanted if she could only get me to penetrate her daughter’s young vagina once, even if it was only the tip of my finger, or maybe something else. She knows once the fingertip or anything else passes through the opening of her daughter’s vagina, it would be enough to send me to prison for a long, long time.

Maybe she says, “I know what you did today with her while I was gone, and I’m willing to keep this between the three of us. We’ll think of it as a ‘family problem’,” she says. “But there’s going to be some new rules around here, and from now on, we girls get to decide everything that happens and doesn’t happen. here’s the first rule, you will never again be allowed to ever question my extra-sexual relationships. From now on, I’ll be with anyone I want, any time I want.”

You see, I know this part is true. Both Christel’s daughters know their mother was cheating on me all the time. They know I gave their mother an expensive diamond engagement ring and was obviously, very in love with her. They knew I brought her flowers all the time, and sometimes surprised her by leaving them on her door step when she lived in Springfield.

But the girls also knew I had my suspicions and would sometimes question them about their mom’s strange and inconsistent explanations about where she had been. Perhaps, the girls were worried about how I might react if I found out all three of them had been keeping this secret.

So maybe Christel tells her exactly where she’s going — she’s going out to see another man. She tells her daughter she’s going to leave her alone with me for the whole day, like they talked about. Before she leaves, Christel says in their special code that I’m a “gentle man”, but maybe what she’s really telling her daughter, is that I’m a ‘gentle lover’, if her daughter’s interested.

She says, “I know you’re now a young woman, so it’s up to you to decide what you do with your own body and who you do it with. Don thinks your sick, so he agreed to stay home with you so I wouldn’t have to miss school.” They both smile.

“I promise, I won’t be back before three, so there’s nothing to worry about, nobody will be checking in on you guys’, but call me if you need anything.”
As promised, her mom didn’t return that afternoon until almost four o’clock.

And maybe that’s why Christel picked out a back scratcher for her daughter to give to me that year for Christmas? Maybe it was to let me know that she would make sure her daughter would scratch my back, if I agree to “scratch her’s”…and stop worrying about what her mom’s up to (while she’s away, all day)?

So, knowing her mom is off cheating on me, the older daughter begins to think about it. She’s thinking to herself, if she could get me to join in on any of these games they like to play, even just a little, I would no longer have any right (or perhaps, any good reason) to get angry at their mother for cheating.

Maybe she thinks, if everyone’s cheating on everyone, then who cares?

Very likely, the older daughter is feeling some guilt about not telling me what she knows about what her mother’s been doing with Rick and these other men, because she knows I’ve been completely faithful to her mother.

So when her mom leaves, she’s thinking about playing this “adult game”. So she pretends to be sick so she can stay home with me, but she hasn’t decided exactly how far she would be willing to go.

She thinks, if she can get me to go along, after today nobody will have any right to complain about anything. And nobody gets hurt any more. This way, she thinks to herself, she gets to be the ‘peace maker’ for the adults, which is every kid’s desire.

Other than sometimes around her younger sister, I would describe the older one as almost always being a sensitive and compassionate person toward others. So keeping a secret like this for her mother must have been causing both her and her sister a lot of emotional distress.

So maybe in her young mind, knowing how much I love to make love to her mother, just like Beverly Marsh, she’s gonna do what she can to try to make everyone feel better; she’s gonna do her part to make everyone happy!

Maybe a seed had been carefully planted in the older daughter’s mind by her mom or Rick, or her dad, that if she went along and actually did it with her mom’s new boyfriend, there wouldn’t be any more arguments about her lying to me about her still seeing Rick. And this way, everything would be better for everybody–

And maybe she thinks, because of her grooming and experience, it’s not like she has to wash the dishes or something horrible like that! And she likes sex, she already knows.

So maybe she starts thinking about how she might go about it, as her mom is getting ready for “school…

maybe she imagines sitting in the tub with me…where she’s sitting on my lap, again. And she thinks to herself, this time it won’t be so easy for me to pull her off my lap!

Maybe she also thinks, “With no one else watching us, I may not want to–”

Make no mistake, guilt is a powerful motivator, especially for young people. The secrecy around sexual abuse, especially for kids, is almost completely based on the kids feeling guilty about it.

So let me be clear about this. I don’t blame either of her daughters for anything, but the fact is on several occasions the older daughter did behave as though she, or her body, wanted to have some sort of physical contact with me. And it became obvious that both of the girls were very interested in their own sexuality, and weren’t ashamed of it. And under different circumstances, and with one or more healthy biological parents readily available to them, this probably wouldn’t be a big problem.

Except, if this was what was happening, there are two big problems with this arrangement:

First, the older daughter was way too young to know what she really wanted, sexually, even if both her mother and father had been grooming her to feel comfortable for many years about expressing her own sexuality with anyone she wanted to share it with–

Here’s the second problem. Even if I did agree to go along with any of these “great opportunities” to have some sort of secret sexual relationship with the older daughter (and I never did, willingly or knowingly), it would only make me a worse cheat then Christel.

And maybe Christel knew this, so maybe she was willing to leave her alone with me and let (or maybe even encourage) it happen once (and sacrifice her daughter’s virtue), if it gave her the power she needed to excuse her own bad behavior.

You see if I went along with “the game”, unlike her, I would be cheating on her with a child! And all her affairs (with adult men) would be irrelevant, in the eyes of the law.

So maybe she figured she just needed to leave me alone with her sexually-curious, over-friendly daughter to get me to take the ” bait” she was offering…

As I said earlier, when the older daughter jumped on my lap that afternoon while I was sitting on the couch I discovered to my surprise she had already developed the same sort of round bottom any mature, petite woman would have, and may have only been days away from having her first period. There’s no way her mother wasn’t aware of this.

And maybe that’s why she decided that fall, and definitely by the following spring, that her daughter was old enough to serve as a surrogate for her and have sexual intercourse with me if she wanted to. And that’s how it seemed–

Even if she didn’t have breast yet, Christel should have (and I believe did) notice that her older daughter had already begun filling out below the waist. And I suppose there are other people who know for a fact, besides Christel, that her older daughter had also begun growing pubic hair by the fall of 2001 when she started school in Beaverton, and got naked and climbed on my lap.

So, if Christel knew her older daughter had been experimenting, sexually, and may have told her that she liked it, it may explain why Christel would let her older, sexually-experienced daughter fool around with me, even though I was a grown man; it might explain why Christel might be willing to let her do anything sexual she wanted to do with me, as long as she wasn’t being forced by anyone else to do it.

It’s possible that her mother knew the older daughter may have already had as much sexual experience as a lot of fourteen or fifteen-year-old American girls, before she may have tried to do this with me.

As I said, she didn’t seem to be afraid, or in any sort of pain or discomfort when it was happening, only giddy and excited…then suddenly, about forty-five seconds later, clingy and out of breath–

For females, in one way one’s past experience really does matter. Putting on my science hat, and briefly speaking from a strictly physical analysis, every time a female has intercourse her vagina is being trained to respond to the feel of the penis entering her, by first opening wide and then closing around it, like a glove.

From this point forward each time she is entered her vagina will instinctively open wider and become moist even quicker. And if she is anxiously thinking about it before hand, while she’s taking off her clothes, this same physical reaction will likely begin to occur well before she has ever been touched, making penetration of her vagina faster and more possible.

Based on my own personal experience, when I was almost fifteen I remember having my first real sexual relationship with a pretty neighbor girl with long strawberry blond hair who was a little more than a year older than Christel’s daughter, around twelve when we first met.

About a year later, our relationship began. The first couple times we had sex, after she turned thirteen, I remember we agreed to only put the tip of my penis part way inside of her since in the beginning it caused her a little discomfort.

As I understand sometimes happens, she never did bleed that first or any other time, although I’m pretty sure she was still a virgin when we began seeing each other.

However, after having intercourse a few more times, there was no longer any physical or emotional barrier preventing me from pushing myself deep inside, a feeling which I know she soon began to really, really love, which is normal. I can still remember, with each thrust she would make these soft sweet moans. So, despite her young age, after a short time of being sexually active she told me how much she liked it, not with words, but instead, by how quickly she became wet and by the way she began to open her body to me when I first entered her.

Regrettably, our relationship only lasted about a year or so when she became interested in one of my friends (who was a better guitar player, back then).

She was the third girl I had ever been intimate with- Earlier that year I had a brief relationship with a girl from the blind school who once dated my older brother. But my first time was pretty crazy, so maybe this is a good place to share it–

The previous winter my sister’s boyfriend at the time invited me to crash at his house, since we both played guitars and sometimes sang together when he came over to visit my sister.

His dad worked nights, so one night after his mom went to sleep he took me to his younger sister’s room, who was barely thirteen-years-old herself, and told me she was experienced. I realized later that this meant that she was on the pill, although I didn’t have a clue what he meant at the time.

He said he would be back in awhile and left me alone with her. But who knows, maybe he felt sorry for his girlfriend’s “four-eyed” brother (who was still a virgin at fifteen) and wanted to hook me up. And maybe talked his sister into it, who agreed, and maybe she tells him, “Okay, it sounds like fun!”

Or maybe he just needed an excuse to sneak out and hook up with my sister at the gravel pit again? Who knows? Who cares!

When he brought me into her room, I noticed right away his sister was laying on the bed, under the blanket. As soon as her brother left, she invited me to join her. So I took off my shoes and lay down.

The first time she grabbed my hand and pulled it under the blanket, I was startled and jerked it back, thinking it must have been a mistake…although when I briefly touched her skin I realized she wasn’t wearing clothes.

The second time she did it a couple minutes later, I knew it wasn’t a mistake, and so we did it twice (my first time) before her brother came back to get me.

Despite my clumsiness, I’ll always remember how sweet she was to me, as I stumbled my way through her secret garden, in search of something…I’ll never forget.

So back to the story about the young French girls and their vaginas. I don’t remember what Christel said they were called, but one night she excitedly began telling me about how the French would give their young daughters a special kit. She didn’t actually say whether or not she had given each of her daughters one of these kits…and I never asked, but she seemed to want to give me the impression that she had.

Apparently, according to Christel, these kits are given to girls at around five or six-years-old. She explained, the kits consist of a number of tubes that vary in size. The young girls are instructed to insert them into the opening of their vaginas when they go to bed.

As the girl grows she is instructed to increase the size of the tube she inserts. Christel said, this is done to get French females to become comfortable with, and desirable for, the feel of having a man’s penis inside of them.

There were probably dozens and dozens of opportunities where I could have done almost anything I wanted to either of the girls, and its possible that nobody, not even the girls, would have discouraged me! Apparently, as long as Christel could watch (and take some pics), she was okay with the girls getting naked and “fooling around” with me.

All I ever did was to try to not take the never ending drama and daily nuttiness too serious, and try to fit in…apparently, like Rick did.

So you understand the situation better, I will explain how I had lots and lots of chances to try and fondle their genitals, if I wanted to- And on one afternoon, I had the “perfect opportunity” to probably rape the older daughter several times, and probably been able to use her mother, as well as her own guilty feelings, against her to get away with it, if I was that kind of person–

There was this one morning in January or February of 2002 when the older daughter was left home alone with me. We were living in Beaverton, and I was working on the computer when it happened.

She yelled out to me (in her most “sexy-sounding” voice). “Don, would you please bring me a glass of ice water?”

I was soon to learn, she was taking a bath (and the bathroom door wasn’t locked, but instead, left wide open)–

So when I came to the door with a glass of water, she quickly stood up and asked me to hand her the glass. And when I walked toward her, she leaned the upper half of her body into me, and our naked chests touched. Obviously, she wanted me to know she was naked, or at least naked from the waist up. As she sipped the water, she continued to lean in to me.

I wondered? Did she want me to explore the rest of her, since this time no one was watching? It was as though she were thinking, ‘If you’re interested, maybe we could continue where we left off when we were “pretending to copulate” on the couch’, while her mother watched..

So there she is, standing directly in front of me, leaning against me, completely naked. Of course, that is, I would assume she was completely naked, but who knows, she may have been wearing underwear or swimming bottoms. But I don’t think so–

As soon as I handed her the glass and she leaned into me, I guess I knew pretty quickly that she was teasing me once again,maybe testing my virtue, trying to play the big girl (while her mom was away).

Of course, now I have to wonder, maybe she knew her mother was with someone else that afternoon, and either her, or maybe both of them, decided that it would be okay if she wanted to offer herself to me, once again? Maybe that’s why her mother left her alone with me, because they both felt guilty about Christel being with another man that day?

You see, I had once or twice overheard them talking about this subject — talking about her daughter’s absolute right to explore her own sexuality how and when ever she wanted. I overheard them say something like this, but I assumed it meant sometime in the future when she was a lot older, but I may have been wrong.

More specifically, I overheard them saying something about the older daughter having a right to have some sexual privacy when she was with her boyfriends (and have her own bedroom, with a door that she could lock whenever she wanted to), and her absolute right to choose who she had sex with, and when she had sex…if that’s what she wanted–

So for a moment, I played along with her, partly because I didn’t want to embarrass or shame her by pointing out how suggestive this looked, or ask her what her mother would say if she knew she were “acting” this way around her mother’s boyfriend. But who knows, maybe her mother knew exactly what she was going to be doing that day?

So that it is clear (and in case there was a video recorder running), unlike what happened on the couch or what may have happened when we were all in the bed together, I never became aroused by any of this silliness. And, so you know, after this incident in the bathroom I was a whole lot more careful about what I said or did around both of the girls. And that’s probably when my friendly relationship with the girls began to change — they began to resent me when I stopped being their “Fun “Don”–

So, did her mother just forget to teach her about what it means when a young lady (with fresh pubic hairs) takes off all of her clothes in front of a male. And did her mother forget to explain what happens when she touches a man (with any part of her body) in any way while she is naked?

Be honest, almost all men, once they become aroused (by the sight and touch of a fertile, naked female), would think any female who knowingly put herself into this sort of situation was sending a clear sign of “consent.

Then, once this ancient message is sent to the masculine brain, most males would find it extremely difficult to resist the implied offer. Why would she, or her mother, think I wouldn’t be effected by this same sort of physical contact?

But the truth is, I knew she was safe with me (even though here she was once again, completely naked in my presence, touching me with a part of her body).

Almost immediately, when I felt her bare chest lean into me, a part of me wanted her to understand she was playing a very, very dangerous game by behaving this way around any grown man…and I wanted her to know that there are more than a few men (or boys) who are a lot stronger than her, and who wouldn’t stop until they got everything they wanted — finding a young, attractive naked girl standing in front of them in a bubble bath…with water dripping from every where, including her new, fuzzy pubic hairs!

All young people need to understand that when it comes to “sex”, even the very best plans can sometimes go very bad, very quickly. And every young girl should know, just because some man happens to be your mom’s boyfriend doesn’t mean he should be trusted any more than any other man, like a teacher, coach, or bus driver who has some sort of temporary custody over you.

Why in the world any young girl would ever let herself be alone with a grown man while she’s standing naked, in a bath tub filled with bubbles, is itself very troubling. But make no mistake, any man who would take advantage of a young girl like this, who mistakenly thinks in her mind she’s only playing a silly game with her mom’s boyfriend, I can assure you would very likely also try to figure out some way to get away with it…any way they could. And when coercion, manipulation or the threat of more violence doesn’t seem to work, the perpetrator may feel they have no choice other than to permanently silence the witness.

So everyone understands, the two fictional sexual encounters described below, involving an adult male and a young developing female, whether it was, or later became, “consensual”, is a serious sex crime. That is, unless a court has given its permission for them to get married. Which means anything and everything they do, sexually, that doesn’t involve violence or “force” is completely legal.

You maybe shocked to learn this, but it does still happen today in America in a few rare cases, where adult men have been given the right to marry girls as young as eleven.

But other than this sort of sleazy arrangement in places like Florida or New York (and probably a lot of other states, including parts of California), no adult who was caught would likely get away with having sexual intercourse with an eleven-year-old in America…unless of course you’re a billionaire with lots of powerful friends who wear robes to work, rather than actual clothes.

If you don’t already know, it makes absolutely no difference whether or not the young girl’s mother had arranged everything, and had even given her explicit consent, like what happened that afternoon on the couch — the afternoon Christel watched both of her young daughters take off their clothes and jump on my lap, and then wrapped their legs around my waist.

I suppose, whether or not the mother would be prosecuted for any of this sort of stuff would depend on which state you lived in. Regardless of whether or not one or both parents had encouraged this sort of inappropriate playfulness around strangers, all young people should know this much.

The rapist, when it is an acquaintance, will very likely do anything to convince his or her victim that they are not the one responsible for what just happened. And most people are raped by someone they know, not by complete strangers, as we are led to believe.

So, should a victim who is being raped, who has no way to stop it from happening, cooperate with their attacker? And should they be sure to promise to never ever tell, if it means it might save their life? I don’t know if there is a best answer to that question, other than to suggest that any young or vulnerable person should never put themselves in to this sort of situations — being completely naked in front of a stranger.

For example, If my girlfriend’s daughter didn’t feel well that day, as she claimed, and if she felt she needed a hot bath, why didn’t she take a bath earlier that morning before her mother left, around 10:00 or 10:30?

Did her mother know she was planning to take a bath after she left, or think to ask her? This would be extremely puzzling, if her mother knew why she was staying home (she was starting her period) and didn’t ask this question, knowing how all females (and almost all young men) on earth are programmed to feel “dirty” during this natural biological function.

So, now I’m wondering, did the older daughter start her period that day, that would explain why she had to stay home. She didn’t seem very “ill”…because after she finished her bath, she asked if we could play some music. So I hooked up my equipment, then she sang and I played guitar for about an hour.

Curiously, a few days before her mother would start her monthly cycle, she would become really, really horny, if I can be so blunt. It got where I would keep tract of what day of the month it was so that I knew when she would want, or need, more attention (so she would be less likely to cheat on me).

Does this sort of sexual energy run in families, especially at certain times of the month? I don’t know.

And if I can be even more blunt, was my girlfriend’s daughter simply wanting to be touched there, to make it feel better? After getting in to the warm bath, Was it something she decided to do on the spur of the moment, just simply hoping in the back of her mind I might be able to comfort her aching didi?Maybe she thinks about happy I made her mother feel, and wants it to stop hurting…

I have been told by more than a few women, that when their on their period their vaginas actually hurt. And they would tell me that firmly rubbing the lips of the vagina would give them great relief from this physical discomfort (and usually cause them to eventually have an amazing orgasm).

Most of the women I have had relationships with, would often insist on being in the bath tub or shower when we made love (during these times of the month), which is perfectly understandable…especially for a blooming, young girl.

So for educational purposes, let me explain to every parent who may be reading this chapter (despite my warning) exactly how this could very easily happen to their daughter, if they ever did something crazy like this, for any reason:

Let’s say, since she’s already standing up, despite my blindness, I take her by the elbow and with one swift motion easily lift her from the tub, pretending to need her help with something, “Right away!” Which would have sounded very sincere, since this rapist does want her help with something.

She’s probably a little confused, but doesn’t resist, as she steps out of the tub. And maybe I hand her a towel, to make her feel more comfortable.

Then before she knew what was happening, I could have pulled a knife from my shorts and put it to her throat, and told her in the meanest voice possible to ‘not make a fucking sound!’

Within seconds I could have easily pushed her into the master bedroom and locked the door and slipped off my shorts. After moving her on to the bed, where no one would likely hear her cry or call for help, I could have easily climbed on top of her and used my legs to force her thighs apart, exposing her young, wet vagina…exactly like she was when we were on the couch–

Except this time I would be the one in control, and this time I would have no reason to prevent our “love parts” from touching, and rubbing together, as I carefully moved our bodies into a better position.

At this point, you can probably imagine her smaller, naked body trapped underneath me, and she is unable to move.

Because of the soapy water she’s been soaking in, and because of how slippery the soap has made the opening of her young vagina, and because of how aroused I am, I am able to use my other hand to easily slip into her.

The sudden shock of feeling me enter her causes her to gasp for air. But her moist didi makes it easy to slide deep inside, before she can catch her breath and say or do anything to stop me.

Over the next three or four hours I have no doubt I could have easily raped her over and over, and over again, if I had wanted to…and she would have had no way to stop me!

Because of all of the adrenalin, it would probably be over really quick the first time. But after a short break, when it starts again, the verbal coercion part of the rape would likely also begin.

So let’s say while I’m slowly forcing myself on her, I begin blaming her mother for what was happening to her, reminding her of all the other times her mother tried to get me to “do it” with her.

But this time it’s slower and more gentle. And while I’m doing it, in a more friendly voice, sounding sincere, I begin the coercion by asking, “Isn’t this what you and your mom wanted me to do with you when I was sitting on the couch, trying to ignore your beautiful little naked body?”

Maybe I tell her, as sweetly as possible, “You know, I’m not ignoring you now, isn’t this what you really wanted?” I ask. She makes a small whimpering sound, and I feel her shake her head once in agreement. Maybe it’s out of fear, but I think to myself, it doesn’t really matter; The coercion process has begun.

Then maybe I say something sick, but half true, like, “You know this isn’t really either of our faults. Think about it. It’s really your mother’s fault.”

I continue, “You can’t blame me for being a man? You can’t blame me for wanting to see every bit of you, can you?”

“You know I haven’t stop thinking about doing this with you ever since I felt you rubbing your sweet little fussy pussy against me.” She makes a sound that sounds like it could have been a giggle, but I’m not sure. So I kiss the side of her head, and continue.

After a few moments of silence, I pause, and ask her in an even more softer voice, “Tell me, why did you really call me in to the bathroom? Think about it. And why are you laying here with me now, without a stitch of clothes, making love to me?”

“Do you think this is just an accident? Or do you think maybe it’s fate that we’re finally together?”

She answers in a quiet voice, “I don’t know.” But she knows exactly why she’s here in bed with me, naked, and this time, alone with me.

“Tell me the truth, you did want me to do this with you, didn’t you?” I ask in the most sincere voice I can manage. “I know you were watching me make love to your mom when we were in Springfield. Did you see how happy I made her feel? Is that why you wanted me to do this with you?”

She feels my body begin to move again, as I lovingly ask her, “Tell me the truth, did you hope you would be my lover someday?”

After a few more minutes of this, I gently kiss her just behind her ear, and quietly whisper, “Do you ever touch your didi and think about me?” The question catches her off guard, and I feel her body involuntarily shiver. She says nothing aloud, although we both know it’s true.

It does feel nice, she admits to herself. She can’t help but feel it moving, back and forth, and now understands exactly why doing this with me makes her mom so damn happy!

It reminds her of the night her mother and her got tipsy and she came to bed with us, and the arrangement they made. She wonders if I know, and suddenly feels this strong urge to tell me everything.

She thinks what I’m saying may be true and that if she tells the police, they might arrest her mother, instead of me. But she already knows down inside she’s not going to ever tell any one.

She decides to not think about her mother any more, and concentrates on the motion of my body, moving back and forth. And when she feels some of my weight lift off of her, she feels her lower half begin to instinctively move ,.

The whole while, she thinks about what I said about it being her mother’s fault. And she begins to convince herself that I’m right, and she thinks it’s all going to be okay.

And who knows, maybe she’ll tell her mom. Maybe she’ll tell her she decided to go ahead and do it with me and it was great! And if her mom tries to give her even a little shit about it, she’ll remind her mom about their last conversation and what she said. “It was her choice to do it, when the moment felt right!”

But like the time she came to bed with us, and then her mom fell asleep, and then woke up! She knows, until she decides, her mother can’t say a damn thing about it! Just thinking about it, makes her smile–

This never happened, but maybe under this fictional version she tells herself something really crazy like this:
“I’ll bet it’s going to be even better…now that me and my mom will both be fucking her boyfriend!” and she lets out a small laugh, and thinks to herself, “and now she’ll have to stop beating me with those fucking wooden spoons, or I will fucking send her to fucking prison! And me and Don can raise the babies, without her!” She thinks, and laughs again.

Hearing her make a sound that almost sounds like a laugh, I ask, “Are you okay?” She nods her head and now sounding more confident, answers in a clear voice, “Yes”.

After thinking about it for a moment, she feels her body quiver again, and she takes a deep breath. She knows she doesn’t want her mom to go to prison…as she feels something running down between her thighs.

And she knows in her heart-of-hearts that he’s right since it was her mother who agreed to set this special day up — since it was her mom who got her to get naked, then gave her the idea to draw a bubble bath.

And it was her mom who gave her the courage, by telling her over and over, even again this morning, that she was now “officially” a mature, young woman who could have sex with anyone she wanted, as long as she was the one who decided who to do it with and when–

She thinks about when she first filled up the tub and was sitting there, touching herself, and deciding what to do, waiting for the right moment…

Then after dosing off for a while, maybe she finally admits the real reason her mother left her home alone with her boyfriend (as I sort of suspected).

She says that her mom said that if she wanted, she could do anything she wanted wile her mom was away. And maybe that’s why she took the time to make a bubble bath since she knew she would have all the time and privacy she needed to do or not do what ever she decided to do?

After a very short time, she completely forgets about the knife (which has conveniently disappeared from view). She relaxes and closes her eyes as she feels his body sliding down off of her…and feels herself being kissed, everywhere…just as she imagined would happen, when she first filled the tub with hot water and bubbles, and called out–

Despite this “perfect opportunity”, this isn’t what I did, or ever thought about doing until long after I was accused of doing something like this, and decided to write a book about it…that other straight men would want to read Frankly, I have little hope of ever convincing most women in Oregon of anything…

Because men know, the male brain is designed by nature to try and send a reminder to his organ that the naked female standing before them appears to be physically mature enough and perhaps ready to copulate, if the male or his organ are interested. Even Krog knew subconsciously a long, long time ago what a naked female with even a small amount of fur down there meant.

As I naturally began to visualize her standing there in front of me in my mind, in all honesty, it was kind of cute. That is, the way she casually was leaning her naked chest against me while she was handing me back the glass, as though she were feeling a little tipsy and had started to lose her balance. I remember, she used both of her hands to carefully put the half empty glass back into my hand, as though it were something precious and delicate she were giving me.

Consider this scene, and imagine there’s a camera somewhere rolling. She’s standing there in front of me, completely naked (with her fuzzy, pre-teenage pubic hairs showing), and she’s dripping wet. The viewer can see, she’s standing in a half filled tub, overflowing with bubbles.

Looking back, it seemed like it were a pre-arranged romance scene taken from the Nicole Kidman movie, “Birth” (which ironically was in pre-production around this same time, and which the girls and their mother watched on cable in the summer of 2004 at their grandmother’s home in Roseburg).

So to the viewer, it looks like she’s handing a half filled glass of expensive champagne to a man who appears to be her older lover, since the viewer can see no biological similarities between the two.

Obviously, she doesn’t want him to spill a drop of the precious liquid. As perhaps the producer planned it, by telling his young actress to very carefully exchange the precious fluids with the barefoot man standing before her. He is only wearing a pair of running shorts, which can be easily removed.

The inference in what the naked girl’s doing and what the liquid represents is perfectly clear to the eager viewer, who also doesn’t want either of them to waste a single drop.

When it happened, instead of sitting back down right away or moving away when she handed me the glass, she just stood there, dripping wet, waiting…

Honestly, at that moment it would have been so easy for me to have taken advantage of this situation, as she seemed to want me to do. I could have dropped to my knees and carefully began to explore her naked legs, starting with her toes. And to keep her from getting nervous, maybe I tickle her toes a little causing her to giggle, while I’m teasingly telling her what beautiful toes she has.

As I quickly worked my way up the inside of her legs, I would bet she wouldn’t have stopped me. And because of the shock, she would have probably laughed, if I had suddenly cupped her bottom in my hands, and then began kissing her fresh pubic hairs, and then began kissing her all over her pubic area. Similar to what I’m suspect her and her sister “secretly” (and excitedly) watched me do with their mother in Springfield the previous summer–

So it’s clear, that’s not what I did! Although, it sure seemed like that’s exactly what she wanted me to do…

Why would she leave the door open and unlocked while she was taking a bath and everyone else was gone…and she was home alone with her mom’s boyfriend? Even if she really did want some cold water, why would she stand up and proudly expose her naked vagina to me? Why did she lean into me?

Truthfully, that’s the exact moment when I knew for sure what she really wanted…

Or, in her confused mind, was she testing me to see just how far I would go? She didn’t seem to have a real good plan about what to do if I failed her test and accepted the generous offer, and then turned off the light, turned on the fan, and quietly locked the bathroom door. And then, quickly pulled off my shorts?

But maybe before doing any of this, I first tell her I have to pee, and tell her not to peek, as I turn off the light and lock the door. And then, so no one will hear her, I turn on the noisy fan!

Given all of this, do you think she would have minded if I had quietly stepped into the tub, assuming she doesn’t know I’m also naked, without first turning on the light and opening the door (she doesn’t know the door is locked)? Probably not?

As you read this fictional tale, and knowing this fictional character’s true intentions (to find some way to rape her and then get away with it), at what point do you suppose she would begin to resist my advances?

Obviously, she doesn’t feel odd about being in the tub or bed with me and her mother. And apparently didn’t feel the least bit shy about taking off all of her clothes and sitting on my lap with her legs wrapped around me. And she didn’t seem to feel funny about inviting me in to the bathroom while she was naked–

So imagine we’re both standing in the tub together, in the dark. Do you suppose she would do anything if I put my hands on her shoulders and slowly turned her around,facing the other way? Probably not.

As long as I were careful, so she didn’t know I was naked, I’m sure she wouldn’t have objected or been frightened by any of this “silliness”…until it was too late!

Given the risk she took by setting up this scenario, do you suppose she would have done anything to stop me if I had gently pulled her down with me into the soapy water? So imagine, now she’s presumably sitting in a tub filled with bubbles — sitting between my legs, in front of me.

Under this fictional situation, she’s facing the other way so when I’m ready, I’m able to easily pull her on to my lap.

Then as she’s losing her balance and falling backward, her legs naturally fall apart, completely exposing her naked didi.

At this point, she probably still isn’t scared by what just happened, but is probably wondering what I’m going to do next.

But then all the sudden, she realizes I’m naked, but still hasn’t decided if she minds (since she’s also naked). and the truth is, she hasn’t completely decided what she wants to do or not do. But I can tell by the way she hasn’t struggled with me she either doesn’t mind, or hasn’t quite figured out what’s going to happen next…

So let’s say I’m the pervert they wanted me to be, and I’m already hard as a rock, since I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do with her (or to her, if she resists) from the moment her mom left for “school”–

As every couple knows, before beginning to copulate, the easiest and quickest way to penetrate the opening of the woman’s vagina is making sure they have a very stiff penis and a really moist vagina (one which has been either stimulated for a while by their lover’s fingers or mouth, or in the case of most women, a vagina that has been soaking for ten or fifteen minutes in some really soapy, hot bath water).

For all these reasons, before she knows what is happening, let’s say in this fictional version I cover her mouth with one hand. And with the other hand I’m able to quickly slide my extremely firm circumcised tip through the smaller opening with almost no resistance from either her or her body.

Before she can catch her breath and say anything, she is completely overwhelmed by the physical sensation of feeling me deep inside of her!

Even if she had been thinking all morning about me touching and kissing her there, maybe she hadn’t actually decided whether or not she would let me go all the way and do anything else…so the sudden shock of having her young vagina entered so quickly, in this forceful way (even if she was already sexually active), causes her to lose her voice until long after it’s over, and it’s too late…

Maybe after it’s done, this other alternative boyfriend tells her over and over how truly sorry he is. He says, he couldn’t help himself because she’s so damn beautiful!

At the same time he’s telling her all of this, he slowly uncovers her mouth, but she’s still unable to find her voice. After a while, she begins to breathe naturally and feels her body begin to relax.

As she leans back into him, and tries to figure out what just happen, her mom’s boyfriend starts to explain that this is just how men are around all beautiful women. Especially when they’re naked, standing in a tub filled with bubbles.

As she feels herself being gently touched everywhere, he keeps telling her over and over how beautiful she is. He tells her again and again, he’s so sorry, but he couldn’t resist her, and in a very small voice, from far away, she says she “understands”.

Then after awhile maybe he leans forward and adds a little more hot water, as she opens and closes her eyes a few times, but can’t see anything, and imagines what it’s like to be blind. A couple minutes later, he leans forward again and shuts off the water. Then Everything becomes perfectly still again — “This is so relaxing,” she thinks to herself, sitting in complete darkness.

In fact, she can’t ever remember feeling this relaxed, like a bowl of jello, as she feels him softly kissing her behind the ear and along her neck. At the same time, he’s gently stroking her hair, and touching her all over.

She kind of feels drugged, although she definitely knows she’s not. But the feeling reminds her of how it feels when her mom sometimes gives her benedrill.

After a while, she starts to believe that maybe it really was her fault for teasing him like this, and for inviting him in to the bathroom. “What did you expect would happen?” She asks herself.

How strange it feels, she thinks. Even when he’s perfectly still.

It hurt a little at first, she thinks, ‘but it doesn’t hurt now’.

Just as she had imagined, when she was filling the tub, She feels his fingers slowly touching and stroking her all over. But when he very carefully touches her with one finger somewhere just above her didi, it causes her whole body to shake.

when it’s over, she thinks to herself, “It feels wonderful”.

And while her mom’s boyfriend is touching her there, he continues to whisper ‘sweet nothings’ in her ear, and she closes her eyes.

Despite the noisy fan, she can hear herself breathing deeply, and begins to relax. It feels like she is falling in to some kind of tranquil trance…

Then, as nature begins to take over, her body starts to respond naturally to the overwhelming physical sensations, both inside and out. After a few minutes, she begins to feel warm again and thinks about the glass of ice water sitting by the sink, and wonders if she can reach it from here, without getting up.

Then suddenly, she is woken from her hypnotic state, as she begins to feel him slowly moving somewhere, somewhere deep inside of her. The sensation instantly reminds her of the night they were in bed together, as she also feels her excitement growing–

Suddenly, she feels her bottom half shake again, almost violently, and instinctively digs her fingernails into his thighs.

After about a minute or so it finally stops, and she carefully settles back down on to her mom’s boyfriend’s lap…and very slowly, without saying a word, they begin to move in rhythm together.

Because of everything that happens that day, in the bathtub, and again a little later in her mom’s bed, she knows that she is forever, and ever, completely and totally committed into never saying anything about any of it to anyone, ever!

But back here in reality, none of this happened! But if I were the creep they claimed, it could have easily happened just like this!

So why did her mom, and the State, accuse me three years later of having committed a serious sex crime against her daughter way back when all this other crazy stuff was happening — when nothing I did, or intended to do, was ever sexual, or sexually motivated.

It sure seems mighty coincidental that the State didn’t come after me until after I had threatened to expose Christel for her inappropriate sexual behavior around all the kids. I told her (and her youngest daughter who was listening) I was planning to take our son to live in Florida, where my parents live. And that may have been all the motive all three of them needed to “get me!”

So I have to ask the question. Did her mom (or maybe someone else) give the oldest daughter the dumb idea of getting naked, getting into the tub, and filling it with bubbles? And then give her the really dumb idea of calling me in there to join her?

Was it only to test my character, or perhaps, was it someone who wanted (or needed) to get some dirt on me that could be used later, if needed?

And so who was it who had the really stupid idea of trying to get me to touch her young developing didi that morning, since I’m pretty sure that’s what the plan seem to be, since no one would be watching (except maybe a camera)?

It may have entirely been the older daughter’s idea. I don’t know, except why would her mother give her amorous daughter this perfect opportunity to fool around with her boyfriend, if she wanted to, after what happened that time on the couch? That’s assuming her mother didn’t know about all of these “encounters” before hand.

Think about it, we were left completely alone by her mother for over five hours that day, and there was plenty of time to do almost anything “we” (or I) wanted to do, and then get rid of the evidence (by washing the sheets and anything else that may have been stained with our bodily fluids).

But on the other hand, if setting up this “opportunity” actually was the daughter’s idea, alone, honestly, a part of me would be very flattered. It was obvious to everyone who saw her, and often said so, that she would grow up to be a very attractive young woman, just like her mother.

And the fact is, if she had been of the appropriate age when this happened, I would have been extremely honored to even have been considered. And truthfully (assuming she was over eighteen when this happened), and if we both knew her mother was with someone else that day, I would have probably taken her up on her sweet, generous offer!

But the thing is, because of her age when this stuff was happening, today, I am very concerned about what became of her (and her little brother and sister)–

Given the risk she was taking by inviting a grown man in to the bathroom with her while she was presumably completely naked and taking a bath, ask yourself, why would she stand up and call me over to her to take the glass, when I came to the door.

It seems like the soapy water would have offered her a little privacy. She could have asked me to set the glass down by the sink and waited until I had left before getting up and grabbing it?

But when she heard me coming she stood up quickly and deliberately said something like, “Here”. So I naturally walked in the direction of her voice and sort of bumped into her, since she was leaning way over the tub. It seemed like she was wanting me to come close, and maybe hoping, “I would see” her (in all her glory)…one more time.

Did her mom put her up to this, or was it her idea? I don’t know?

It’s true. Sometimes when they were flirting with me, in their silly big girl way, I would tease them back, but I never (intentionally) did anything sexual with either of them, ever.

The sad thing about this situation is that, if I had played it “right” (and not complained or questioned any of Christel’s affairs), I probably could have done anything I wanted to the older daughter.

Like too many of our judges and politicians, would I have also been blackmailed for life? Maybe that was the original plan, to let me have what “they” thought I wanted, but I just wouldn’t take the “bait”, as sweet as it seem to be, and as often as it seemed to be offered.

So to wrap up this chapter, let’s go back to the Marley letter one last time, and try to imagine what Christel may have been thinking when she decided to tell him some, but not all, of what was going on that night the three of us were in bed together, either naked or almost naked.

After all, Christel was telling the truth about this one incident in her letter to Marley, but not the whole truth. I was completely naked and did become aroused again after she unexpectedly brought her daughter into the bed with us and began touching me. But maybe someone can explain this to me, but I can’t understand why neither Detective Marley or Detective Oaes didn’t want to ask me any questions when they came over to allegedly “talk” the day before Thanksgiving, 2004. This is exactly why I will, and you should, never speak to any cops without your own lawyer. And god help you if you can’t afford your own lawyer!

Along with my fake lawyer, Gregory Sholl, and a few of the judges friends, I think these cops are the real criminals we ought to be locking up, not some dumb blind guy with a deeply troubled spouse, who obviously needed some real professional help (Instead of a bunch of powerful horn dogs trying to get in to her panties and raise their percentage!).

So, let’s say while were in bed with her older daughter, in one of her crazy sex games, and this is probably closest to the plan she had in mind: Christel gets me to ejaculate on her butt, as I almost did. After we fall asleep then she begins to wipe it on her daughter, partly hoping she will become pregnant.

Then later that night, she wakes her daughter up and takes her back into her own bed, and covers her up.

Then she goes into her daughter’s room early the next morning to say good morning, as she usually did. She notices that there’s something sticky on her daughter and notices her daughter is completely naked, and suddenly with “shock” realizes what the sticky substance is, and calls the police.

Her daughter has no idea what happened and doesn’t remember removing her clothes, which are scattered on the floor next to her.

“the daughter appears to have been sexually assaulted by the boyfriend while she was sleeping,” so the police tell the anxious media.

Given all of this, the only reasonable explanation I can figure is that Christel would have included part of what happened in the bedroom, but didn’t mention the afternoon on the couch, in her letter to Beaverton Detective Dennis Marley is that she may have been up to something that night. and she was afraid she would be caught if she didn’t tell her version first.

This is why I suspect that her oldest daughter knows something more about why her mother suddenly left her home with me (and why she decided to take a bath, and invite me into the bathroom).

And I suspect she knows something more about why her mother really brought her into our bed that night, knowing I was naked and already partially aroused.

If you ask me these questions about what I knew or suspected about the oldest daughter’s sexual experience, this is what I would say:
Q: Do you think there was anything sexual going on between her and Rick or his boys?

A: It’s very possible something had been going on around or before that time, when we got together in early 2001. I noticed right away it was a very sexually-charged environment, and Christel told me they were regularly dosing the younger girl with benedrill in the evenings, to give them some sexual privacy.

So there were lots of opportunities for “any of them” to “fool around”, sexually.

Q: Do you think she was having intercourse with any of them any time during 2001 or before that?

A: It’s possible she was having, or had already had, intercourse with one of Rick’s boys. But that’s just a guess, based on the environment and opportunity.

Christel said Rick’s teenage boys had been exposed to a lot of explicit sexual material. And I understand the boys would often sleep over night in the living room with both of the girls, while the adults were upstairs.

Q: Do you think she had done anything sexual with her father?

A: Yes, very possible. For a lot of reasons.

Often, while sitting in his rocking chair he would tickle her and bounce her on his lap next to me. And there was something about her giggle and the way I could tell she kept looking over at me, made me think she was feeling uncomfortable about what he was doing. And that would seem to me, since she was a ten-year-old girl and definitely not a toddler, as being a form of sexual harassment, or maybe even sexual assault.

he would stop for a minute or two, and then I could hear him tickling her again, while we were all pretending to “watch” TV.

Q: Do you think they had ever had intercourse?

A: It’s possible, but truthfully , I don’t know. She often stayed over night with him and usually slept next to him, and there was definitely lots of opportunities if he got the urge and made it into some kind of “game” under the covers, after a few beers. Sometimes she was very shy, but then other times…

So I wonder, did either of her daughters ever see me,. or any other male, completely naked? Were they ever manipulated or encouraged by anyone into doing anything inappropriate, like the way they may have been tricked into getting naked and giving me an erotic lap dance (while their mom watched)?

Did Christel ever tell either of them to watch us having sex, or encourage either of them to ever do anything inappropriate like that, with me, or anybody else?

Was that night in bed, when I was touched, perhaps another quick lesson in human sexuality? As I said, it wouldn’t be the only time Christel used someone else for a quick thrill…and then lied about it–

Very few men could claim they would not be stimulated after a moment or so by the feel of that familiar softness bumping against your most sensitive body part–

I felt her wiggle her butt, just a little, but it was enough to let me know she still wanted me… It was a disturbing moment for many reasons, I recall. Part of me thought we were having this secret, intimate moment between us, just waiting for her daughter to hurry up and fall asleep and then be ushered by her mom back to her own bedroom. Hopefully with no complaint or delay.

On the other hand, I was wondering what Christel was doing by bringing her daughter into the bed with me since I wasn’t wearing any clothes, even if she thought it was only for a few minutes. It was a moment of cognitive dissidence I was feeling.

And that’s what really made what she said in the Marley letter so infuriating! Christel knew I was aroused before her daughter came to the door. Yet in this letter she tells Marley that I had not become aroused until after she brought her daughter into the bed with us, like she had nothing to do with it!

This is why I feel Dennis Marley cared nothing about either of the girls while he was investing this case since he didn’t ask me even one question about Christel’s strange letter, and didn’t ask if I knew about the pornography book Christel said he found in the older daughter’s room. It truly seemed as though He didn’t want to know anything about anything that mattered… Hmm–

This is because I would have told him that before this one night, she had never brought either of her girls into our bed late at night while I was sleeping. She admitted that she knew I was already naked when she did it? She knew I always slept naked, and she had to know this would eventually come out, if the jury was to read her letter about me becoming aroused by her oldest daughter.

The important question now is who else saw this letter before I got a copy in 2007?

The history of the wire-bound book of pornography that Detective Marley didn’t take into evidence is as follows: The book was first shown to the girls in the winter or early spring of 2001. I believe she began sharing it with them shortly after Christel bought it from the University of Oregon Book Store with the money she got from the Ford Foundation.

It was usually left out in the living room on a book shelf where I found it sitting many times, both while she lived in Springfield and Beaverton. Any one could pick it up and look through it.

About a month or two after the girls started looking at the pornography book, a woman who lived across the street on Lawnridge, in Springfield, came over and tried to tell Christel her five-year-old daughter was running up and down the street naked.

I don’t remember exactly what the neighbor said, but I remember that Christel began screaming something at the woman like, ‘WHY DON’T YOU MIND YOUR OWN damn BUSINESS!’

The following fall The youngest daughter’s teacher in Beaverton asked Christel to come in and talk to her about some incidents involving her daughter acting out inappropriately in a sexual manner. When I asked her about what happened at the meeting, Christel became agitated, so I let it drop.

And a year later, we began taking the youngest daughter to the Morrison Children’s Center in southeast Portland, as I insisted, because she had made several threats to kill her younger brother, Abraham, including once having described her plans to drown him.

Obviously, the older daughter was also effected by the explicit material in this “Ford Foundation book of pornography.” Christel told me while they were living in West Linn she caught the older daughter and a friend of hers one day sending out naked, explicit pics of each other, posing both together and separately…

this may have something to do with the older daughter being arrested in the fall of 2005 for assaulting her mother with a cell phone in the presence of her younger sister and brother. This made the assault an aggravated felony.

As usual, Christel’s friend, Judge van Dyk came to the rescue and sent a handwritten note to the lady judge who was handling the case, asking her for leniency.

However, by interfering in the legal process, as he did in 2004 by tampering with my case, did he once again prevent a deeper investigation from taking place into Christel’s own bad behavior? Isn’t this an abuse of power? By doing this, was he trying to protect himself and any secrets about his relationship with my wife?

Circuit Judge van Dyk and Circuit Judge Bob Herd, who I wrote about in another chapter, are two of the many characters I’ll describe in these writings who are both linked to my case and also associated with the Clackamas County Circuit Court system.

In February of 2010 one of the court’s assigned law enforcement staff, Sergeant Jeff Grahn, drove to Greshum and killed his wife, Charlotte, and then for
no reason killed two of her friends, Kathleen Hoffmeister and Victoria Schulmerich.

What makes this case even more suspicious than the simple question, why did he also kill his wife’s two friends, is that Sergeant Grahn did not use his own service revolver to do the killing. Hmm…

Did he use a ‘drop gun’? Was he first planning to surprise her outside and kill her with this other gun and then throw the gun in the river? Even if found, there would be no fingerprints.

Or maybe when Jeff Grahn gets to the bar he tries to get her to take a ride with him. Then maybe he was going to put the (extra) gun in her hand and pull the trigger. He then says, he has no idea where she got the gun, she just pulled it out and shot herself. I wonder if anyone else heard him trying to get his wife to take a ride with him? He did get her to come outside. But she still wouldn’t get in the car with him, and we know now, for a good reason, she was afraid of him. Did she know something, and did he believe she told her friends this secret?

Grahn had filed for divorce a few months earlier, and his wife did not file an answer. This meant he had already won an automatic judgement against her and got everything he wanted…but killed her anyway. Does this make any sense, unless there was something else? Grahn was described by many who worked with him as being kind of a “control freak” and a “hard ass”.

Did he kill her because Charlotte knew some secret about what may have been going on at the Clackamas County Court house, similar to what murder victim Douglas Adamson told me about “some important people from Clackamas County” six months prior to his own murder?

About ten years ago this guy, Douglas Adamson, saw me searching for a bus stop along 82nd Avenue in a heavy rain storm and offered me a ride home. When we got there, I showed him my medical marijuana garden and we puffed a phatty.

As we’re smoking, he starts telling me about how he had been providing “young kids to a lot of important people from Clackamas County”. I laughed it off, and figured he was just jerking my chain.

After that, I called him a couple times about helping me haul some stuff, and left messages at his brother Phil’s house, but never heard back.

Then a few months later he calls me at around one in the morning. He asks me if I want any company, and I hear this very young sounding girl giggling in the background. I told him something like ‘go fuck yourself’ and hung up. I never heard from him again.

About six months later I heard on the news about how this guy also named “Douglas Adamson’s” truck was found abandon on the 205, and how they found parts of his chopped up body washed up on the beach in Vancouver, Washington.

I’ve been wondering, who could have got Doug to pull over his fully-functioning truck on the highway like that, and abandon it, other than maybe a cop car?

Not to sound to paranoid, but I wonder if he was recruited to try to set me up with this young girl in a compromising circumstance, just like Christel tried several times to do with her daughters and me?

Did Christel’s friends from Clackamas County kill him to keep this all a big secret, like the unexplained killings of Charlotte Grahn’s two friends?

Did Douglas Adamson become a threat to them because I didn’t take the bait that night and agree to the offer to bring this young girl to home?

So back to Clackamas County Sergeant Jeff Grahn and why he also murdered his wives friends. He’s supervising the county courthouse and serving court papers for the county, then for no reason decides to drive out to Greshum and kill his wife, and the two friends she happened to be talking to…about something? But what were they talking about?

Was Jeff Grahn concerned about what he may have told Charlotte about in a state of drunkenness? did he happen to mention something about a few corrupt county judges and correction officers, and what they may have been doing down there at the courthouse? Is that why they tore down the old courthouse (around the same time as all these murders took place)? Did they destroy the building to get rid of any possible DNA evidence left behind, that Grahn knew about?

To better understand how things transpired that night, here’s how it went:
After walking outside, and after a brief argument Jeff pulled out a gun and first shot his wife, then for some reason went back into the bar to kill both of her girlfriends.

Except, this makes no sense. Why did he need to kill both of his wife’s girlfriends before he shoots himself? He would soon be dead, why would he want to make the situation for his surviving children so much worse, leaving this awful legacy behind?

Maybe one could find some explanation as to why one spouse would kill the other, but hunting the two girlfriends down and killing them is very troubling. What secret could have been so damn important?

So back to my own tragedy. Clackamas County Circuit Judge Douglas Victor van Dyk was appointed by the disgraced former-governor, John Kitzhaber, along with Eric Bloch, in 2001. In 2015 Kitzhaber resigned after coming under investigation for influence peddling and corruption. However, the Acting-U.S. Attorney Billy Williams, who once charged a Native-American boy with a felony for buying one joint and prosecuted the Bundy protesters, announced in 2017 the DOJ would not be filing charges against Kitzhaber.

Soon after, the former-governor claimed he made a mistake by resigning, but the facts suggest otherwise. His, and his girlfriend’s, actual crimes may go way beyond just influence peddling.

First, Dr. Kitzhaber, who is a trained physician, (and a useful tool for the pharmaceutical industry) opposed medical marijuana in Oregon, claiming in 1998 and beyond there was absolutely no medical value.

Today, along with the State of Israel, more than half of the states in America have endorsed the medical use of marijuana under certain circumstances. And we know much of today’s opiate crisis was caused by doctors like Kitzhaber who preferred (and were paid bonuses under the table) to hand out these highly-addictive pills to their patients for pain. His support for the us of addictive opiates over medical marijuana only further documents the extent of his political corruption.

Also, in 1997 John Kitzhaber joined the legislature in recriminating the use of marijuana, which had been decriminalized by Oregon in the 1970’s. Suddenly it was once again a crime, punishable by thirty days in jail, for having even one marijuana seed!

I believe his sudden resignation may have not only been about the corruption involving him and his girlfriend, who was apparently given a 1.5 million dollar contract from the State of Oregon’s Department of Energy shortly after she and the married governor had begun an elicit affair.

According to my sources, The previous two governors, along with Washington and Clackamas County officials (including perhaps even Karen Emmergut, who is now sitting on the Ninth Circuit Court and was the U.S. Attorney at the time I was being tortured by Washington County in Bob Hermann’s infamous county jail: See “42 Days in Hermann Monster’s Isolation Dungeon”), may have all been involved in the cover up of Ashley Pond’s murder.

As I’ll explain, this cover up resulted in the eventual murder of another thirteen-year-old Oregon City girl named Miranda Gaddis. I believe they were waiting for Ward Weaver to kill his son’s girlfriend before arresting him, when he killed the Gaddis girl instead.

On an important side note, in Gus Russo’s best seller, “Supermob” the author describes how in 1955 a private investigator from the room next store used an infrared camera to watch a U.S. Senator rape a young girl. In considering the Weaver murders, doesn’t it seem likely that this technology would have improved significantly since then? And if there were some wealthy child murderers among us, they may want to create a distraction by allowing Weaver to do what he did.

First, both of these girls disappeared on their way to school. Despite that they both walked directly bye the home of their murderer, law enforcement never thought to search every house, garage, or shed along the route the girls took between their homes and the bus stop. The body of Ashley Pond was right there the whole time at Weaver’s home, but the sheriff and no one else apparently thought to look in his shed?.

The police knew immediately that the girls both disappeared on their way to the exact same bus stop, which you would think would have been a major clue to take a good look at every house along the girls’ path! Or is that exactly what they did?

Now compare this willful incompetency to the massive, invasive search that took place following the Boston Marathon bombing, in which the Forth and Fifth amendment were completely shattered with absolutely no due process. so, what court wouldn’t grant a search warrant for any of these properties, especially if the owner refused them access.

We now know, after murdering Ashley Pond, Ward Weaver put her body into a barrel and stashed it in his shed which was located behind his house.

As I’ve suggested, I believe some of these cops knew the whole time exactly where she was, but wanted to wait until Weaver had killed another girl before searching the entire property where the girls’ bodies were–

Maybe they needed a real child rapist and murderer to distract everyone from what I believe is a wealthy, ruthless gang of professional lucifarian pedophiles and child pornographers operating out of the Willamette Valley, and probably the entire west coast.

While the corporate media and the government want to blame the Russians or the Iranians, we know both of them are regularly putting out fake news and reports, posting them across the web for those of us who are theorists against criminal conspirators to find. So I’m still investigating the accuracy of this, but one report claimed the police took a cadaver dog and went to the home of Ward Weaver, but only searched the house. Even though, according to this report, the dog indicated there was something there, for some funny reason the cops decided to not search the shed.

Think about this. This so-called search apparently occurred before Ward Weaver murdered Miranda Gaddis…which means she would be alive today had they done their job and searched the shed too and arrested Weaver for Ashley Pond’s murder! And if they had not “lost” the report his son’s girlfriend made, both girls would be alive today.

So if our government and corporate leaders are kidnapping, raping, and murdering children, and protecting each other, then they would need to distract the dumb downed public (with the help of the righteous asshole himself, John Canzano, and the rest of the overpaid corporate media trolls) into believing their “creepy” neighbor is the real villain, so they don’t ever get caught. Right John?

In the case of Ward Weaver, they only need to hide a sexual assault complaint and wait until he murders one or two girls (And two is always better than one, isn’t it?) in order to create an environment of mass hysteria. Then they put up this massive billboard along the highway with the faces of the missing children to constantly remind everyone…and keep the public in a state of terror!

But manipulating the legal system for those in power against the poor (which is anyone without immediate access to a quarter million dollars in money or property) is business as usual in America. So I ask, Who are the real violators of human rights in the world?

I’ve written about this to U.S. District Judge Michael Simon twice (and hand delivered copies of these letters to both him and the former-U.S. Attorney, Amanda Marshall), none of these indifferent elitists bastards, who are supposed to be overseeing Portland’s bullshit consent decree, have never written back or invited me to testify.

So because of writing to Judge Simon and the useless DOJ, and because I’ve also have written about it here on my blog [wolfeOut.com], Lard [ass] Larson and the “Alpha Dopes”, some of the local public and community radio predators, and the “phony left” have been viciously attacking me over the last thirteen years, with complete impunity from the police and prosecutors (and the FCC).

Every day and night both my dog (who is no longer with me) and I endure countless electrical assaults from these invisible lasers Hundreds of thousands of times, including over one thousand sexual assaults over the last seven years directed at my genitals and rectum.

Whether I’m inside or out, I’m being sprayed with poisons and sewage, and often they will hurl objects, including explosive devices, at my RV (with two propane tanks mounted on the front) at night. Yet, strangely no one has been arrested or prosecuted, and the park manager, Debbie Sleeper, openly tells other people I’m just “crazy”, and tells them to ignore me.

Although I go into all of this in great detail in another chapter, it should be pretty obvious why I refer to this RV and Mobil home park as the “Southgate Death Camp”.

So here’s the connection between my ex-wife, her mother and their boyfriends and lovers.

The two men I believe are responsible for the police involvement in what’s been happening, and the DOJ’s indifference are named Douglas van Dyk and Marc Abrams..

Specifically, Judge van Dyk’s 2004 campaign was managed by Oregon attorney Marc Abrams — which was the same exact time, according to my wife, Judge van Dyk had manipulated two West Linn police officers to hunt me down at my wife’s apartment in the middle of the night, with loaded guns!

Along with being a government labor lawyer for the State of Oregon (who defends dishonest government employees who ought to be fired) and a Jewish hack writer for “Blue Oregon”, Marc Abrams is the muscle behind van Dyk’s gang of Clackamas County thugs who came after me in 2004.

I believe Abrams and his friends are doing this because I threatened to report Christel to child protective services in the spring of 2004 for some of what is written here. This meant, if this were exposed in the fall of 2004 her “blooming” relationship with Judge van Dyk may have become public before the November, 2004 election.

Abrams is also a regular host on a local Sunday morning political show with Alpha Media. Every Sunday Abrams gets to pretend to be a compassionate liberal,
rather than the arrogant elitist, crooked neo-liberal lawyer he is in real life–

This is why taking this book of pornography into evidence was critical to not only learning about the current environment all three children were living in, but absolutely essential to protecting their future, not to mention the safety of every kid who already had, or who would, look in this book.

Ask yourself, how would a four-year-old boy, like Abraham, process a picture of a man, who appears very happy about what he’s doing, shoving his penis into the mouth of a woman? Just like his older sisters, how long before he himself would begin to act out the images from this book. A few years later, would he began to explore his curiosities with some neighborhood girl, asking her, or maybe forcing her, to do this with him? Is he even capable at this age to understand the concept of “consent”?

I thought this was the point of investigating our family?

After all, other than god (who knows it wasn’t my idea), who cares if Christel and I did it in some nun’s graveyard in a dozen different positions with the camera rolling and the nuns watching?

If you don’t won’t to know the truth, then don’t ask…right Marley? And definitely don’t take anything in to evidence that would challenge your legal theory, about the evil step-father and the struggling, innocent mom!

Slowly we began to push our bodies against each other, in rhythm. Then I remember at one point Christel reached back behind her and briefly touched me for a moment. It surprised me since I thought we were both waiting until her daughter fell asleep.

It always felt good the way she would first take me into her palm, then start stroking her slender fingers up and down, rubbing her thumb across that soft place under the tip. As an artist, she had these sensitive, thin fingers and what was the most creative touch you could imagine…up and down, round and round–

I can’t say exactly how many times she touched me, or how long she did that each time, touching and squeezing it gently in rhythm with our hearts. I was torn between this weird, awkward embarrassing feeling and this unbelievably strong desire to tell her how much I loved her. I wanted to tell her how much I especially loved her sweet, secret way of pleasing me, without letting her daughter know what we were doing…or so I thought?

It only took about five minutes or so of her gently touching my penis before I realized that very, very soon I was going to lose control of the situation.

My brain was telling me to say nothing, promising that soon I would feel that unbelievable, instant burst of relief that leaves a man gasping for air, and usually seeing stars, even if you’re blind!

When it got really close, I said something like, ‘You better stop’, and giggled, giving her a gentle push away. She did stop squeezing me, but didn’t leave go right away. And I didn’t want her to stop, and maybe she knew this and was waiting for me to beg her to not stop!

It was like trying to slam the breaks on a speeding train, and trying to get the mules back into the barn!

Taking a deep breath, I did everything I could to not let my passion flow from my body into the world….and said nothing–

And it’s true. There was a brief moment there when I just didn’t care anymore about anything else other than feeling a completion in what we were doing. I wanted so badly to release the pressure and crank the valve open all the way! Trying to convince myself maybe her daughter wouldn’t notice what we were doing. Or I tried to tell myself that she wouldn’t understand what had just happened. And I started to tell myself that maybe she wouldn’t notice or recognize that familiar smell?

And in that one instant I tried to also convince myself that this surging river that was roaring up from inside, ready to overflow the banks, wouldn’t later find its way over to her daughter’s side of the bed, staining her night clothes…that is, if she was wearing any clothes?

But another part of me, a smarter side, a much stronger side, said that kind of thinking was really, really stupid, and extremely dangerous!

I was breathing pretty good from the first moment she touched me. I remember burying my face in the blanket to mask my heavy breathing, but the room was completely quiet and I began to imagine that her daughter was listening to every quick breath I made, and would know what happened if we didn’t stop…RIGHT… NOW!!

Then I imagined her daughter hearing that first gasp of air at the instant the dam breaks lose. It’s an unmistakable sound that would be hard to misinterpret. And would if her daughter asked me, “Don, are you okay?”

I knew both the girls had watched a lot of R rated movies growing up that included many scenes of love making and I’m sure would know exactly why I was suddenly gasping for air, as the bed stopped moving. Even if she pretended not to know what just happened, but asked anyway, for fun!

In a moment, we stopped what we were doing and reluctantly pulled apart. Rolling away from Christel’s warm, mostly naked body, I felt the two of them climb out of the bed–

Then I heard Christel walk her daughter out of the room and close the door. She returned about five or ten minutes later, and we made love and never spoke about her daughter being in bed with us after that night.

But since getting the copy of the letter sent to Detective Marley, the one question I can’t get past is, why did she ever put this in this letter to a cop. Most of the letter was pretty vicious and accusatory, but only directed at me, or so it seemed.

But this one admission, admitting that she brought her sexually-curious, eleven-year-old daughter into bed with her naked boyfriend, seemed odd. And pretty dumb to write about me getting an erection, and then sign it, and then send it to a cop!

And why didn’t Marley follow up on this written confession? Or did Detective Marley make some kind of a deal with her to say nothing about the letter? It’s not the only evidence he accidentally came across that should have raised a lot of questions about Christel’s own parenting skills and the safety of the children.

Yet the cops and the DA chose to completely ignore all of it?

Like the book of explicit pornography Detective Marley found in the oldest daughter’s bedroom in the fall of 2004.

“Who gave you this book?” He should have asked the thirteen-year-old daughter.

“Has your younger sister or any of your friends seen this book?”

So I’m thinking to myself, maybe it was guilt Christel was feeling when she decided to write this down and send it to Marley. Maybe it was a subconscious need to confess her own bad behavior or her bad intentions, as though he were a priest or rabbi and she needed forgiveness.

I think her daughter knows more about what was happening that night we were in bed together or why she did what she did that Saturday afternoon, even more than me. As I will explain better, Christel may have been worried the daughter might tell someone about it some day so she needed to think about how to cover her own ass, no pun intended.

She may have also been afraid I would bring some of it up at some point in the future, like during our divorce/custody trial, and she wanted to make sure that her version was the one everyone heard first. And the one everyone believed.

Why did she need to bring up anything about that particular night? Was it yet another lesson in human sexuality designed for her oldest daughter’s education (and Christel’s own gratification), demonstrating one fun way she might be able to please her boyfriend without risking pregnancy?

This is the way Christel would often think about including her girls, as I’ll explain, in explicit detail:

WARNING!
If you’re not over eighteen, or if you’re sensitive about Reading explicit, graphic sexual material, and it does get a lot worse, then you need to skip the rest of this chapter.

Frankly, there’s not any other way in which I can fully describe how horrifying it was to be forced into these dangerous, compromising situations by someone I trusted, as a blind person, and what I suspect may have been one or more of the nefarious plans afoot–

***XXX***
PART THREE:
As I describe my suspicions, first, I should begin by giving my ex-wife the benefit of the doubt, and try to imagine a possibility where her intent was mostly innocent, although not wise or motherly with regard to the safety of her daughters.

This argument would be even stronger, if we remind the reader about Christel’s extremely sensual, highly sexual nature, and most of her art work reflects this fact. And perhaps it was this part of her which briefly took over her usual good sensibility, with regard to compromising her daughter’s virtue. I would like to think so.

Like, maybe she just wanted to please her boyfriend, who had just moved in, and didn’t care if her daughter suspected we were touching each other in the bed next to her…as long as she didn’t actually see anything.

Maybe in that moment, Christel forgot the daughter’s age and imagined her being younger than she was with very little knowledge about, or interest in, human sexuality.

Or let’s say, would if she knew her daughter knew about what was going to happen when she came to the door, and agreed to say nothing when her mom began touching me, as she watched!

Maybe having this sort of pretend secrecy between them about their sexuality was a sort of mother-daughter bonding. After all, it was what Christel said she learned as a very young girl when her own mother would allow some of her male friends to fool around with her and her sister, while her mother pretended not to see.

When we first met, Christel would often talk about her mothers boyfriends and their friends, and what they did with her and her younger sister. According to Christel, this began when she was about four-years-old, and her mom was still a minor, only seventeen.

Her father, who Christel said she admired greatly, died of a heroin/cocaine overdose a few years before we met. And while Christel never said much about how his bad behavior may have also contributed to her sexual abuse as a child. He was apparently around eighteen when he began having sexual relations with her mother, who became pregnant with Christel shortly after she turned twelve.

Once or twice Christel talked about “breaking the cycle”, but I didn’t realize what she meant…until many years later.

However, this is the forgiving side of me, that wanted to believe that things would always get better for us, and that she would stop playing these crazy sex games and stop lying to me about seeing other men–

But because the facts say otherwise, and I know in my heart-of-hearts this isn’t true, there are a lot of odd things about that night that suggest something else was going on…

For example, I couldn’t tell, but would if she had intentionally left the light on. The way her and her daughter walked in and out of the room so quickly, makes me think now that maybe the light was on the whole time? I don’t remember hearing the click of the desk lamp. I can sometimes tell when the light changes in a room, but because of my blindness, unless it’s a really, really bright light, once it’s been on a short while I can no longer tell.

And whether the light was on or off matters because she had mirrors almost everywhere in the bedroom. Hanging on the closet, mounted on the headboard, and across the desk, which was located right next to the bed.

maybe this is why she never pulled the blanket over the two of them, and partially uncovered me when she first reached behind her to touch me? I remember her pulling my manhood out part way from under the blanket and laying it against her butt, as though it were a canon being placed on its raised mount.

She rubbed it a little and waited for me to react, and then a moment later, rubbed it again. She did this several times, as the blanket began to fall away.

I assumed Christel’s body blocked any possible view of what she was doing with me, not to mention, I figured it was completely dark in the room. I wasn’t worried about her daughter seeing anything.

Not to make excuses, but I completely forgot about all the mirrors she had mounted around the bedroom.

But if the light was on, then I suppose her daughter could have looked toward the closet or headboard mirror and seen some of what was happening behind her mom’s back, which meant she may have been watching my erection grow as her mom rubbed my penis. In almost every state this would be a crime, if a mom knew her underage, sexually-curious daughter was becoming aroused by watching her do this to her boyfriend and did nothing to prevent it.

This may be one of the reasons why Christel needed to include it in her letter to Marley, in case it came out later that she let her daughter watch?

Maybe Christel told her something before coming to bed like, “It definitely isn’t the same as seeing it in a picture or drawing, sweetie-”

That same fall she had shown them this near life-size chalk drawing she did of me for school, completely naked.

The very next morning she showed both of her girls, as though she couldn’t wait (to excite them), even though she promised me at the time she drew it she wouldn’t show it to them. Especially sense apparently I was shown being partly aroused.

A few days later I overheard Christel and the girls talking about circumcisions, and wondered if their question had anything to do with the drawing of me she showed them?

I overheard Christel saying something like ‘the circumcision helped to keep the man’s penis clean and helped prevent the man from spreading any disease.’

She went on to explain, ‘the circumcision also made the tip even larger which made the woman feel good when it rubbed inside her didi.’

While I imagined her pointing at my circumcision, she told them, ‘The larger tip helped to keep the man’s penis from coming out too soon while they were making love.

So the reader understands why this is, as a “victim” of this accepted Catholic/Jewish practice in many western cultures, I’ll try to explain it in my own words.

During the circumcision the skin of the penis is cut and pulled back, away from the tip. by removing a small part of the skin.

The circumcision makes the tip more exposed and thereby, more sensitive to touch. For this reason the tip is said to swell up quicker and grow slightly larger than it otherwise would, if the original skin were still covering that part of the shaft.

Although perhaps, the accuracy of this comparison should be best debated among women (or maybe gay men), who are the alleged beneficiaries of (or excuse for doing) this form of “mutilation” to only male children (without their informed consent).

As a “victim” of what I believe we should all describe as being a form of “male genital mutilation”, I can tell you a little about the results, although I can’t claim to remember the moment it happened.

But if it had to be done (without my consent), I am grateful for having being raised catholic, since I do know for sure it was done to me in a hospital, by a doctor, rather than having it done in some back room by some “holy” man’s teeth!

After the circumcision is performed, a firm, raised ridge just below the tip of the penis, about an inch or two from the tip, where the skin was originally cut is created and becomes more noticeable as the boy grows older. During arousal the ridge will become firm and will protrude even further as the penis becomes engorged with blood. For this reason the tip and its raised ridge act like a reverse plunger once it passes through the vaginal opening and is fully inserted into the vaginal canal.

Similar to how I overheard Christel explaining it to her girls, after penetrating the vagina the circumcised penis is far less likely to slip back out through the smaller opening of the vagina until the man ejaculates and the tip of the penis begins to shrink back to its normal size.

Meanwhile back in the bedroom, shortly after she began touching me, maybe a minute or two…

Some time after she brought her daughter to bed with us, I noticed Christel began to lean way forward, almost laying flat on her belly, facing away from me. I remember this, because I remember thinking something about her body felt strange, the way she was no longer leaning against me but still touching me. That’s when I reached down for a brief moment and felt her wrist and butt, and thought her wrist was at a really odd angle. I kind of remember thinking for a split second, it seemed like a really uncomfortable position to be in while she was touching and squeezing my tip, but I didn’t want her to stop and said nothing.

If she wanted her daughter to see everything she was doing, and the light was on, then it would explain a lot of this. It would explain why she pulled me out from under the blanket and was leaning forward so much while reaching back since her daughter would only need to raise her head a very little to see over the top of her mom.

On the other hand, if it was all planned ahead (to let her watch), her daughter could have piled up a couple pillows when she climbed into bed with us, so she would have a real “good” view of what her mom was doing.

Or would if they had arranged instead that, for educational purposes only, it was her daughter who had stretched her right arm over the top of her mom and was the one doing it? She tells her daughter it’s also going to be a test to see if I would make her stop, if I figured out it wasn’t Christel touching me. Her daughter agrees with the plan.

Meanwhile, Christel tells her daughter she will pretend to have fallen asleep, so she can’t be blamed if I find out and get real angry.

Or what if they just simply agreed to take turns touching me the whole time? Christel gets it started, but then it’s a game. First one and then the other. Keeping me from knowing for as long as possible, is the only rule in this game. And maybe seeing who could get me to “pop”, was how you won. Sounds crazy as hell, doesn’t it?

You see back then, I never considered the possibility that anyone other than Christel would ever have tried to touch my most private body part in our bed. But given all the other nutty stuff that went on around there I probably should have been expecting almost anything from the three of them, when it comes to sex!

It’s possible, Christel really did fall asleep after she had touched me a few times, and knew nothing about what happened next, until afterward. She doesn’t mean to fall asleep on me, but she’s really tired and that’s why she didn’t go back to the girl’s room.

I don’t really remember for sure, but it seems like there was a few long moments from the time she first leaned forward and the time when I was touched again. So I suppose that it’s not completely impossible that her curious daughter, who is feeling aroused, could have reached one hand over the top of her sleeping mother and carefully used her fingertips to touch the tip of my exposed penis, without her mom or me knowing it. As she’s doing it, she carefully watches her sleeping mother and feels my penis begin to grow.

I had no reason not to believe it was Christel’s fingertips touching me, but the letter to Marley forces me now to wonder. As I try to think about the way it felt at that moment, being explored, In all honesty, I’m just not sure any more…

So here’s a couple possibilities I thought about:
Maybe Christel pretended to fall asleep, waiting for (and maybe even hoping ), her daughter, who often behaved as though she had her mother’s permission to explore her own sexuality anyway she wanted (as long as she wasn’t being forced to do anything she didn’t want to do).

So maybe in a moment of boldness she reaches over the top of her sleeping mom and begins to explore my circumcised tip for herself. She knows I’m blind and she figures I would never know, if she were really careful.

And she may have known her mother wouldn’t, or couldn’t, get angry, because of all the other stuff, even if she did happen to wake up and catch her. So making sure I didn’t find out was her only real concern, and maybe she figures, just like what happen on the couch, I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, except make her stop…if she were caught!

Her daughter may or may not know, but Christel is only pretending to be sleeping, enjoying the entertainment. And also hoping I wouldn’t notice it wasn’t her touching me, but she doesn’t want either of us to know she’s awake in case her daughter gets caught!

Or as I said earlier, maybe before they came to bed they made an agreement to let her daughter do this with me as long as Christel can pretend to be asleep. Christel says, “I’ll get it ready for you and start, and then pretend to fall asleep. then you take over, but be really careful and only touch it very lightly with your fingers, the way I showed you. If you try to use your whole hand he might figure out it’s not me.”

Earlier that evening, let’s say, ever since her little sister went to bed her older daughter’s been sipping on her mother’s wine and asking non-stop questions about sex and circumcisions, and as they start thinking about bed, Christel knows their both feeling very aroused. So Christel tells her daughter to wait fifteen minutes. And wile she can’t make any promises she will try to set it up so that her daughter can see, or maybe even explore with her fingers, an actual circumcised penis (“for educational purposes only”, she jokingly tells her), as long as the daughter promises that “No one will ever, ever find out!”

The older daughter agrees. She’s excited, since she already told her mom in so many words that she’s been thinking about what it would be like to do it with me!

Ever since she found out her mother was pregnant, she’s been thinking a lot about what it would be like to have a baby of her own, with those pretty blue eyes!

And after all, her mom knows she’s not too young to have a baby. She said, her grandmother was barely twelve-years-old when she became pregnant with her first child-

Then, when the big moment arrives maybe she’s feeling a little buzzed, and not considering the long term consequences, she starts to remove some of the sticky stuff from the tip…which is kind of what it eventually felt like was happening to me that night–

The first few times I know for sure it was Christel touching me. So it is a little troubling as I think back about it because the person who was touching me didn’t begin to wipe off the tip until some time after Christel began leaning forward. I remember thinking it was very sexy, but now I have to wonder why were “they” rubbing the tip like that?

I suppose, by pretending to be asleep, Christel could claim some plausible deniability if I suddenly figured out that it wasn’t Christel’s hand that was touching me.

Maybe, after taking her daughter back to her room, Christel says, “Don, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I must have fallen asleep and had no idea she would try something like that! But we can’t tell anyone, okay, or we’ll both be in real big trouble. Right?”

Then maybe a couple months later we find out her daughter is pregnant, and her daughter confesses to the police about what she did after her mom fell asleep. Except, she claims in her version her mom knew absolutely nothing, and it was all her idea.

She says she thinks I might have known it was her touching me, and not her mom since she did it for a wile, until she heard me say “stop”.

After awhile, she agrees with the police that I had to have known that it was her fingers (that were slowly rubbing the tip and removing the sperm).

And what can I say to prove I really did believed it was Christel touching me the whole time, other than that’s exactly what I thought, until I read her letter to Marley?

Along with saying I let her touch me and remove some of my sperm, maybe the older daughter also tells the police about this one time on the couch when she was tricked into getting naked.

Maybe she says, ‘He got both of us to take off all our clothes (including their panties) and take turns jumping on his lap!’

Sounds absolutely, completely preposterous, doesn’t it? However, that’s exactly what happened, except it wasn’t my idea, and their mom was six feet away from me watching everything, as I’ll explain a little later on. First, let me finish the story about why I think Christel had to tell Detective Marley about this night, before me or her daughter had a chance to say what we knew, or didn’t know.

The fact is, the night my girlfriend brought her daughter to bed, I really had no absolute way to know absolutely for sure who was actually touching me without touching the rest of the arm of the hand that was touching me.

And I had pretty much forgotten all about the crazy incident on the couch; I had forgotten about her daughter’s previous brazen, eagerness the afternoon she unexpectedly wrapped her naked legs (and her naked vagina) around my waist, while her mother watched, and wouldn’t leave go!

That night in bed; At the moment when Christel and I were squeezed together, I would have never imagined in a million years that she would ever just lay there and let her daughter touch my naked penis, but I realize now that when it comes to sex, absolutely anything is possible. Including the possibility that I might have even co-starred in several “child pornography” short films and never even knew it…

But let’s start over. To be completely fair, Christel may have not known anything about what was happening until the moment when I may have woke her up — at that moment when I began to feel that strong, familiar urge to ejaculate, and wanted to warn her before it happened–

During this entire time wile I was being gently touched, about five or ten minutes, both of my hands were resting against Christel’s shoulders and my face was mostly buried between Christel’s head and the pillow to mask my heavy breathing.

And if I think back about it, Christel never did actually say anything wile “she” was touching me? That is, until after I told her to stop and gave her a little push with my hand–

All I know is that someone kept squeezing the tip a little, moving their finger tips in a circle under and around the tip, and then they were stopping to wipe some of the semen off. Or that’s what it kind of felt like. But I may be completely mistaken about that, and it was only the fumbling fingers of an inexperienced hand.

I do know, each time for a brief moment they let go, before starting over. If it were Christel’s daughter, she may have only have left go for a few moments to see if her mother would wake up, or to see if I noticed anything different–

I had found a carefully carve carrot around this same time among Christel’s art supplies And it’s possible that Christel had used it to show her daughter where the penis was the most sensitive and how best to touch it. It would explain the unusual touch and the odd angle of the wrist I briefly felt.

And it might also better explain what happened when I whispered in Christel’s ear to stop. And maybe her daughter heard me tell her mother to stop?

As I said, at the time the fingers that were touching me paused but didn’t leave go. If it were her daughter’s hand that was touching me instead, she may have been told to not stop until I ejaculated and was waiting for her mother to tell her what to do next.

Or if it were entirely her daughter’s idea, she may have been waiting to see if her mom woke up before leaving go? Who ever it was, obviously they didn’t want to stop, and I sure didn’t want “her” to stop..

I know if she had only paused for a split second and then just kept going, I’m sure in all honesty would have just let it happen, figuring that if Christel didn’t mind then I guess her daughter was asleep and it was okay. In truth, as I said, at that moment I wanted nothing else, but felt obligated to warn Christel, simply because her daughter was in the bed with us.

So maybe this is what happened. Christel really is asleep. But she wakes up and suddenly sees her daughter’s arm reaching over her waist, and after a moment figures out what had been happening while she was asleep.

Or if she’s pretending to be asleep, maybe she looks at her daughter and shakes her head to say no. After a long moment, who ever it was quickly let go. And I remember, a moment later, the two of them got up together, without a word, and quickly left the room.

Then maybe when their alone, her daughter confesses to what she was doing. And then maybe she tells her mom what else she was doing (with my sperm) after her mom fell asleep. But she doesn’t know if I know it was her touching me. Although, this part about removing some of my sperm to impregnate herself is all highly unlikely…it’s also not completely impossible, as I will explain–

Before her mom can get mad, her daughter reminds her mom about their agreement about sex, and reminds her that it was her mom’s idea, like the naked lap dance and the family baths. And what can her mom really say about any of it, so they make a plan.

So maybe the plan that they agreed to make, and the reason Christel needed to tell Detective Marley part of the story in her letter, was to make sure she blamed me first in case I ever said anything about this night. This way they are able to keep the rest of her daughter’s secret, a secret?

And since I never mentioned it again (because I never gave it much thought), she figures I’m clueless to the fact that her daughter had been the one touching me (and then maybe also secretly touching herself). This family seemed to have a lot of secrets…

But consider this, could I have kept this information from my probation officer and my therapist and passed six polygraphs (including what’s called a two hour “full history polygraph”) if I knew this? That is, if I knew my soon-to-be oldest step-daughter had once touched my naked penis for several minutes while we were laying in bed together (and one or both of us was completely naked), and her mom was sleeping between us? I can assure you, if I knew anything like this, This ‘lie by omission’ would be impossible to ignore during any polygraph, let alone six of them.

So you know, one question that is always asked of every RSO during every polygraph is, “Have you been completely truthful with both your PO and your therapist?”

[Polygraphers: Joe Garcia, Dari York, and Jim Sharmota, 2005-2009]

Besides, if I had any complicity in any way seems like I would have said nothing until it it happened. Then I would only need to pretend I was sleeping and must have had a wet dream. If Christel did wake up. I would say, “I was having this dream about us honey. We were on this beach together…”

Or as I said earlier, Christel and her daughter may have planned this entire evening together, like before, and were both hoping to impregnate the older daughter with my sperm that night. Coincidence or not, by waiting fifteen or twenty minutes before coming to the door, maybe Christel and/or her daughter knew I would probably be aroused (and physically eager to do what ever “she” wanted) by the time the older daughter joined us in bed.

As you read the rest of this chapter, this next paragraph will make more sense, and it may mean nothing at all, but I think it’s important to mention it here. There were a few different times when Christel would disappear from our bed just after we made love. I just assumed she was going to the bathroom, but she never came back to bed. The next morning she said she was checking on the girls and fell asleep in their room, but now I can’t help but wonder if she went in there for a different reason.

And I wonder if her daughter ever wondered why her mother was climbing in to bed with her in the middle of the night, or did she just wake up in the morning and find her mother sleeping next to her? Did Christel go in there to make sure some of my sperm got on her daughter’s sheets, or somewhere else that would be incriminating, and difficult for me to explain? Especially, if I never knew she had kept this “evidence”, and if it were only presented to a secret grand jury? It might explain how they were able to indict me for a “Measure 11 Offense’ and demand a quarter of a million dollars for bail…

I really have no idea what was going on in any of their minds, sexually or otherwise. When it came to sex, the girls seemed to be free to do as they wanted.

I know we were all excited about Christel being pregnant, and even began talking about their mom having another baby for months before she became pregnant which happened sometime around November of 2001.

In the beginning, I know for absolutely sure it was Christel touching me. And I’m pretty sure it was Christel’s fingers touching me every time that night, and would have never thought there was any other possibility…but, the truth is, when you’ve been aroused for awhile, it starts to feel a little numb, and almost any sort of friendly contact down there feels pretty good, even if once and awhile its your own hand doing the touching (with a little luger Marquis)!

I do know that if Christel had left the light on, and had a video camera running, a ten or twenty minute film showing an almost naked mother and her young naked daughter taking turns stroking the fully erect penis (and removing the sperm from the tip) of a sleeping man almost completely covered by a huge blanket would probably be worth a whole lot of money in the child porn business, which I understand is a flourishing industry here in the Willamette Valley, and along the entire west coast; An industry which is said to be almost completely owned (and also controlled by) some of the same Jewish movie producers who run Hollyweird.

Or even “better”, imagine someone was making a video of a mom, pretending to be asleep, laying next to her naked daughter who is touching the erect penis of a man sleeping under a huge blanket. Then the camera shows this developing, pre-teenage girl, without her mom knowing, removing some of the man’s fluids from the tip and then moving her fingers down, between her legs, leaving the viewer to imagine what she’s doing. Now that kind of child pornography would probably be priceless, even if the mom and daughter were staging it.

Or imagine someone is secretly video taping what almost happened, while her daughter may have been watching. Christel is going to aim my penis toward her daughter just as she feels me begin to ejaculate! That’s the exact way it was pointed and what almost happened, if her daughter had raised her head and was looking over the top of her mom while she was rubbing me.

Not to mention, I was, after being touched this long, probably AS big as the mighty California Redwood when I gave Christel a little push and told her to “STOP!”

Yes, of course, this is a disgusting thought; A mom giving her young pre-teenage daughter a pearl necklace from her mom’s boyfriend for Christmas!

Fact is, Christel was a sex maniac, and pearl necklaces was something her and I did together many times before. Once she told me that it was the most sexiest thing I could do with her.

Afterwards, she liked for me to rub my semen into her skin, saying it was good for her complexion. She didn’t need to tell me this twice.

So it’s not beyond imagination that she would want to share this exciting experience with her oldest daughter, as apparently some of her mother’s boyfriends did with her and her younger sister.

Then who knows what would happen next, if I lost control and sprayed her daughter with my fluids? Would they both start laughing hysterically and run out of the room, and jump into the shower or tub? And then call me into the bathroom to join them?

Just like this time all three of them tricked me when the oldest daughter said, “Don, come here and look at this.” As I walked out of the bedroom, her oldest daughter took my out stretched hands, turned them over, and then slowly and carefully placed my fingertips on each of what appeared to be her own nipples but were instead the nipples of a stuffed sports bra she was wearing!

At first, I ignorantly took her serious and thought she was handing me something really, really fragile, something that she didn’t want me to drop (which was kind of true).

Then she, her mother and younger sister all laughed garrulously! Ugh-

So the reader understands how the grooming process works, here’s a good example of how this “encounter” should have probably went (if I really did want to keep playing in these reindeer games):
After fondling the nipples of the bra for a few moments, I say something flippant like (maybe to distract her mom from reacting, just long enough), “Would you excuse us ladies.”

Then in one motion, I’m easily able to pick up the older daughter and carry her back into the master bedroom, quickly locking the door (before her mom can react)!

Then maybe, I tell the older daughter, “Let’s play a joke on your mom!” She agrees.

I tell her to go over there and sit on the bed and start yelling, and moaning, “OH YES! OH DON! OH YES!” And I tell her to not stop until her mom unlocks the door, while I go over and sit down by the computer.

So when her mom finally gets the door unlocked and sees us, and sees nothing’s going on, we would all probably have had a great big laugh…until the next time we play one of these “games”…when maybe it’s not just a silly little game were playing (and mommy’s not around to unlock the door)?

One other possibility is that, when this happens, Christel doesn’t try to unlock the door, but instead decides to take her younger daughter back into the living room, and yells something like, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” And maybe that’s what Christel and Rick were telling the “kids” before disappearing upstairs.

Then who knows what happens next, maybe this other boyfriend hears this and changes his mind, and decides to go ahead and take them up on the generous offer and see exactly what’s under her under clothes?

So you know, if Christel wanted to get the door open, and didn’t want to bust it down, it would have taken her at least a minute or two. Here’s why–

Sometimes when Christel would go into these crazy rages and chase the girls around the apartment or house with a wooden spoon, the girls would run into their room or the bathroom and lock the door (in fear of their lives).

So, whenever Christel has “had to” unlock the girls room or the bathroom door, after grabbing a butter knife from the kitchen, it would take her about thirty or forty seconds, And sometimes, longer than a minute if she was really, really angry, to get the lock open.

Consider this. If her daughter was once again completely naked, or just wearing panties and letting her mom’s boyfriend rub her nipples in front of her mother (for the family photo), how long do you suppose it would take her to realize she was in really big trouble?

Let’s be honest, under these circumstances, it would probably only take a grown man about twenty or thirty seconds to get her on the bed, cover her head with a pillow, then pull open his fly and begin the sexual assault?

So maybe this time, if I had done something like this, I start by telling her the same exact thing, “Let’s play a joke on your mom?” And she excitedly agrees.

So I first tell her to lay on the bed with me, and just like before, I tell her to start yelling, and moaning, “OH YES! OH DON! OH PLEASE!”

Christel hears her and knows we’re teasing her, and maybe she figures it’s her own fault for arranging this “game”. She mistakenly thinks her daughter’s safe with me (even though she knows her daughter’s almost completely naked, maybe only wearing the sports bra and some skimpy panties that can be easily pulled off, or just moved out of the way.

So after another few moments of knocking and listening to her daughter’s fake moaning, Christel decides the best thing to do is to just walk away, thinking it will get her daughter to stop making that horrible noise (because she’s worried the neighbors might hear).

And she guesses right, since shortly after she sits down on the couch, the annoying sound finally stops!

However, after about four or five minutes her daughter still hasn’t come out of the bedroom, and she becomes worried…and decides to get up and grab a butter knife–

Meanwhile, after telling her “Let’s play a trick on your mom”, I quickly climb on top of her, in the missionary position, and pull the blanket over us.

“Keep going until your mom opens the door,” I say. And I tickle her once, To make sure she plays along — pretending to have sex with me, like she did when we were sitting on the couch.

Then, in a playful way, maybe I start to gently grind my hips into her, as I reach down between my legs and secretly unbutton my fly!

She stops yelling and moaning for a moment, and softly laughs because it tickles her didi…then she starts moaning again, and begins to move her hips in rhythm with me.

A moment later, her mom stops knocking and I hear her finally walk away. Then suddenly I cover her daughter’s face with a pillow, and as quickly as possible, violently force myself into her!

When it happens, she can’t breathe, and is obviously unable to yell for help–

The fact is, by the time her mother gets the door open, it’s very possible the rape (that her little game made possible) would be over…and after she figures out what happened, maybe I tell her (and her daughter) that I will say Christel is an accomplice to the rape (and therefore, they’re unable to tell anyone about it).

So you know what really happen, here’s my version:
About two seconds later, as soon as she took her hands away (and I realized the joke they just played on me), I instantly let go of “her nipples”, and did nothing else.

Like I said, I could have easily played along and pretended she was a mature young woman, as her and her mother apparently wanted me to think? I could have easily felt the entire cup and then slowly ran my hands across her backside and buttocks, and then, maybe somewhere else, while I’m pulling her close to me (while “pretending” to be gratified).

I’m sure they would have all laughed even louder. And by doing so, I could have easily taken advantage of this “opportunity” to touch her everywhere, and thus, encouraged her amorous, playful behavior to continue. And this way, participated in the careful grooming of a curious, developing young girl (with this strange urge to be touched everywhere)–

Maybe her mother was thinking that day, “So what’s wrong with letting a blooming young pre-teenage eleven-year-old girl, who is beginning the change and who is obviously in touch with her own developing sexuality, do what she wants to do. Including compassionately letting my blind boyfriend gently rub her emerging nipples?” As mom joyfully watches (and is able to capture this special family moment on film for all of eternity).

I said nothing, at the time… But for the record, I told the DA, Bob Hermann, and Detective Dennis Marley all about this particular incident in a certified letter I sent them six weeks before they arrested me for an alleged Measure 11 Offense,

according to the indictment, I was arrested for having allegedly once touched my step-daughter’s breast in a sexual manner, apparently sometime in 2001 or 2002!”

As far as this incident goes, and as far as I know, the older daughter may have been wearing nothing more than panties and a bra when the incident described above happened?

Or it’s possible, the older daughter may have been wearing nothing at all, other than the sports bra I briefly touched (while Christel may have snapped a picture, unless she had a video camera).

Christel loved the arts, including photography. And her younger sister performed as an extra in several Hollywood movies, including the original ‘Adams Family”. So who knows…

Shortly after we began seeing each other, her daughters told me, and she confirmed this later, that their mom had a crush on the guy who acted in the movie, “If you could see what I hear.” They said I reminded their mom of the actor, Marc Singer, who played Tom Sullivan in the movie. Although, their mother said his name was Rutger Hauer, and Christel said I reminded her of him, not Marc Singer. But maybe it was just the dark glasses..or perhaps, it was the thrill of having sex with a man who was completely blind that really interested her, and the movie stuff was just a pick up line?

And maybe a more important question is, did she share this “fantasy” with her daughters?

Here’s something else about my relationship with Christel that’s a little weird, as you read more about my story, and how I’m being terrorized.

When we first met, she said her favorite movie was “A Beautiful Mind”, and she said her favorite song was “Wicked Games”. If you’ve seen the movie, and you know the lyrics of this song, you may understand that there’s a real possibility that almost everything you’re reading about here was pre-arranged…

I may have specifically been picked out, and Christel was only a useful pawn, after my face appeared in the local paper the previous spring for beating up some punk who jumped a lady friend, who was also blind, and me. It was the second front page Register Guard article about me that had been published that spring, and I know there were more than a few people associated with the Oregon Commission for the Blind who weren’t happy about it.

It might explain why “they” would want to use me to make a “family” movie or two with her and her “frisky” daughters…as long as I didn’t ever find out, she thinks to herself.

Christel’s younger sister, Raymie, who was apparently also a child rape victim, according to Christel, may have also been involved in staging and marketing some of Christel’s “family movies”.

Here’s what makes this whole set up suspicious to me. Shortly after Christel told me about her older daughter’s alleged allegation, which I’ve never heard her make myself, she sent her to California to stay with her [Christel’s] younger sister, Raymie. Meanwhile, Christel and Detective Marley (sometime when they weren’t apparently screwing each other), arranged to have her daughter’s “allegation” secretly filmed by a local company of raging feminists, called Northwest Cares, who hate most straight men, and their own videos prove this.

Sometime that fall, against her wishes, the older daughter was quickly flown back to Portland, to make this well-coached, well edited video for the grand jury. A video that interestingly doesn’t include anything about her saying anything about her mom’s bad behavior, which is well documented in this book.

The propaganda film fraudulently made by Northwest Cares, and for which they were financially compensated for, (the edited version “they” made for the grand jury) includes nothing about her mom’s love for photography and her practice of filming her naked kids in all sorts of compromising situations. And nothing about the mother exposing them ( and their friends) to all sorts of pornographic material. As this chapter describes, encouraging a child to behave this way, in the presence of her lovers, I’ll bet was never part of the “picture” that Northwest Cares, Greg Olson, Dennis Marley and Bob Hermann recklessly painted of me.

So I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that, to set her daughter up for the filming of this next scene, Christel first did something like this:
During one of Christel’s special lessons (that she seem to want me to hear), she explains to her older, sexually-curious daughter about what men and women sometimes do for fun together, so the woman doesn’t get pregnant, called a “pearl necklace”.

She tells her daughter, this is a good and fun way to have sex with a boy without any risk of catching a disease, as well as not getting pregnant, or having to put his thing in your mouth if you don’t want to.

She quickly carves up a carrot and gives it to her daughter to practice. Using her own fingers, she shows her curious daughter exactly where to place her first and second finger, just below the circumcised tip, and shows her where the penis is the most sensitive and how to best rub it to make the boy ejaculate.

“First put your thumb on this side and then gently move the tips of these fingers in a small circle. Then move your thumb the same way. that’s right, up and down, both across this vain and then back up under the ridge.” “And as soon as it starts to get a little stiff it will already start releasing millions of sperm, so be careful.” They both laugh. “You know, it only takes one single sperm to make a baby!” They laugh again and hug.

I would imagine that a healthy parent’s worst nightmare would be to learn that their pre-teen daughter is pregnant. So, is eleven to young for a mother to openly discuss this sort of a subject (with all the explicit details)?

Perhaps it would be okay, in the context of keeping her safe? However, most of the conversations that I overheard having anything to do with sex never included a lot of information about what is age appropriate and what is not. The not-so-private discussions between the older daughter and her mother I heard mostly included details about how old she would have to be to become pregnant. And sometimes, those conversations were about, in great detail, exactly how women (or young girls) can get pregnant–

There was rarely a day when her or one of the girls didn’t mention something about their “didis” in front of me, a term of endearment the girls and their mom, and grandmother, all used to refer to their private area, which I assume included the vagina and clitoris.

And since it rhymes with another word for breast, that may be where the term came from, but I don’t know for sure? “Although, I thought Commadidis” would be a good name for an all girl band?

So if what happened that night was supposed to be some sort of advanced lesson in human sexuality they had pre-planned together, maybe Christel told her daughter what she was planning to do and asked her if she wanted to watch, or maybe help?

She explains, her daughter could watch as long as she absolutely promise, “hope-to-die”, to say nothing if any of my fluids got on her, which was very possible.

Her mother explains, “Sometime sweetie, it goes everywhere!” The older daughter sort of understands, or maybe understands perfectly.

Maybe Christel reminded her, “it’s critical that you don’t say a word or make a sound, and don’t you dare scream, when it happens” so I didn’t ever know her daughter had been watching, or was the one actually doing it.

And maybe, so that I never figured out that her mother had given her the detailed instructions she needed to get away with it.

“I’ll be in way big trouble if anyone ever finds out that I let you do this,” she says. Except in Oregon, If I knew what I know now, I could have told her back then that as a woman, she had absolutely nothing to worry about. And maybe she knew in the back of her mind, the Ford Foundation and their powerful friends would take care of everything, as they apparently always do?

Is this all starting to sound really creepy? Sadly, given Christel’s past behavior of always being the victim, both real and imagined. It is a real possibility that using her to destroy my credibility may have been the plan from the very beginning. And possibly long before Christel and I ever met…

As I said, using all sorts of sexually explicit tools, like books, drawings, Hollywood movies, and sculptures (and a few vegetables) I often over heard Christel teaching her daughters about sex. So using me for a few live demonstrations, while she filmed it all, isn’t beyond her thinking, as I may have discovered.

I remember the three of them once sitting on the couch looking through the same book of explicit photos that Detective Marley left behind (who apparently agreed to keep this evidence from the grand jury).

While I have never actually seen any of the pictures, based on what Christel described to me, the photo book (with no text) showed this same couple having sex in dozens of different positions.

While they were all sitting on the couch, I heard them discussing the pictures, and I heard the younger daughter asked something about why the couple was doing it in so many different ways? And if you think about it, it was a fair question to ask from a six-year-old.

I listened to Christel explaining to her girls why– She said something like, this made the woman feel good when the man changed the way his penis was rubbing against the inside of her didi.

In retrospect, maybe I should have thought a little more about how her older daughter would process this sort of information, but I do remember thinking with some alarm about how her younger daughter would react to hearing anything like this at that age.

As I mentioned earlier, by then, there had already been several serious incidents which raised red flags about the younger daughter’s mental and emotional health, and her tendency to often focus on this particular topic [sex] during conversations with both adults and other children her age.

When I asked her mom about this later, and if this was a good idea to share so much information about human sexuality with them, especially the youngest one? Christel told me that she felt since the collection of photos were all taken of the exact same couple making love, and this Australian couple was also married, it wasn’t considered to be pornography, but rather a form of art. Since I couldn’t see the pictures, it made sense, at the time-

As I mentioned, in the fall of 2004, Detective Marley picked up this same book he found in the older daughter’s bedroom but chose to not take it into evidence. As far as I know, he didn’t ask Christel who gave her daughter the book, or who else had seen it.

I know for sure at least three of the daughter’s girlfriends had also looked through it while we lived in Beaverton. And apparently, after moving to West Linn, the book was also viewed by the thirteen-year-old adopted, mentally-challenged daughter of a Clackamas County Circuit Judge, Douglas Victor van Dyk

Without his wife, Judge van Dyk would often bring his daughter by my estranged wife’s apartment to stay the night. Apparently, the judge’s daughter would sleep over night in the same exact bedroom where Detective Marley found the book of pornography. And, I do know the book was readily available to any of the kids who wanted to look, regardless of their age.

This same detective told me that because my oldest step-daughter had made a few cuts on her body that this meant that I had probably been molesting her, and apparently told the grand jury this, who voted to indict me.

Obviously he never mentioned the book of pornography her mom gave her, or the sports bra her mom had her put on and than trick me in to touching (her nipples). Or the letter he got about Christel bringing her in to bed with her naked, sexually aroused boyfriend!

What is interesting is that around this same time in the fall of 2004, my wife told me she had seen Judge van Dyk’s adopted, mentally-challenged daughter once when she got out of the shower and told me this young girl had dozens of cuts all over her body.

Does this mean Judge van Dyk was molesting this pretty Asian, disabled girl who apparently he specifically selected?

And did Christel have any right to educate her or any other kids from the neighborhood with this sort of explicit material by making it readily available to all of them? Even if Judge van Dyk didn’t mind, did any of the other parents know, or approve?

And most importantly, is there any sort of professional or official obligation on the part of Detective Marley to take the book into evidence, finding an explicit book of pornography in the bedroom of a thirteen-year-old girl while presumably investigating an alleged sex crime committed against this same girl?

I will confess, when Christel got it from the university book store in the spring of 2001. We spent most of that day in bed as she slowly describe and with my full consent, used me to demonstrate many of the photographs. So I have a pretty good idea about what was in the book.

There is another possible explanation about what happened that night. Maybe her daughter knew absolutely nothing about nothing of what was going to happen. This is what I would like to believe. Although there are other possibilities. And it may be those possibilities that explain why Christel first had me arrested, and then painted this less than flattering depiction of her older daughter (the alleged victim), while I was being held by Washington County in solitary confinement (apparently because I was “so fast” and I had an alleged “marijuana addiction”. Did they get this from the government’s 1937 propaganda movie, “Reefer Madness”?

Over the past four years, Christel had painted dozens of paintings for school. Yet, for her senior art project she decided to submit a painting she just finished called “Doppelganger” to the Portland Tribune of her oldest daughter. I would imagine her advisors at Marylhurst (Dennis somebody and John French), knew the background behind the young girl in the painting, yet apparently said nothing to discourage her from using it.

It would seem, at the very least, Marylhurst would have thought about protecting her daughter’s identity. Not to mention the obvious implication that the painting suggests to the viewer about the character of the subject…questioning the young lady’s voracity–

If you look, the painting clearly suggests to the viewer her daughter isn’t who she appears to be. I have always wondered what was Christel trying to say when she first painted this, as the mother of this victimized child? And I’ve never questioned the fact that both girls had been victimized, but it wasn’t me who took advantage of them.

So what was she thinking about when she picked this painting? Was she worried about her daughter telling something else about what happened that night in bed, with her mom’s naked boyfriend.

The May 2005 Portland Tribune article was advertising the Marylhurst University Spring Art Festival to be held at the school Art Gym. The painting Christel picked out showed her daughter looking down into the water, with an obviously dishonest face looking back at her.

Ask yourself, why would any mother publicly humiliate her daughter at this critical time in her life? Especially when you consider just a few weeks earlier, according to the State of Oregon (after obtaining a coerced plea bargain), she was legally defined under the law as being a “child victim”.

Does the Pamplin Corporation or the Portland Tribune investigate any pictures or paintings it publishes simply for copyright reasons, if nothing else? Clearly they knew it was a painting of a young girl looking extremely deceitful, for some reason…

As I said, like the letter to Marley, was this another seed Christel was carefully planting to cover her tracks just in case her daughter decided to tell about what she knew.

Maybe her oldest daughter knows that her mom had been using the girls to set me up, by leaving out a few important details, with a little help from her good friend, Judge van Dyk, who was coincidentally serving on the Clackamas County Domestic Violence Task Force at this same time.

While I realize that some of what follows is considered to be hear say’, there’s some good evidence to suggest Christel’s new friend may have tried to kill me in 2004 to cover up the true nature of their relationship.

Here’s what happen, you decide:
It is my understanding, there is an existing record of the police being dispatched to Christel’s apartment in West Linn in the fall of 2004. Apparently, a call was made shortly after midnight from the residence of Clackamas County Circuit Judge Douglas van Dyk to the West Linn Police which compelled two officers to wake my wife and her kids up.

According to Christel, shortly after midnight two police officers from the
West Linn Police Department showed up at her door with their guns drawn. She told me that the police told her Judge van Dyk had called them and said that he suspected I was molesting my oldest step-daughter at that very moment.

Despite telling the police I wasn’t there, they insisted on searching the apartment with their guns at ready.

Apparently,Christel must have turned off the ringer when she went to bed, and the Judge claimed his daughter was unable to reach Christel’s older daughter, and they became concerned for her safety.

What is most revealing about this, is that Christel said the police didn’t know I was blind, Can you imagine if I had stayed over night at my wife’s apartment, which I had ever legal right to do, and came wandering out of the bedroom to see what was going on?

So imagine, the police walk into this apartment where a young girl is allegedly being molested and they see this guy wearing nothing but running shorts coming toward them. He looks like he’s on some kind of drugs (because he’s completely blind). And despite that they have their guns pointed at the man’s chest, he’s still very quickly coming directly at them!

How do you suppose the police would respond to this scenario? Was Judge van Dyk setting up my murder that night?

Why in hell would he tell the police that he suspected I was there molesting my step-daughter? I hadn’t been there for days. The judge should have known his position of authority would automatically trigger an aggressive response from the local police.

Was it really because his daughter couldn’t get through on the phone? Seems like a pretty extreme reaction (and allegation), especially coming from a sitting circuit judge, doesn’t it?

And, since the judge had brought my step-daughter home from his house just a few hours earlier, it doesn’t seem likely that his adopted daughter would be overly concerned about not getting through on the phone at this late hour, on a school night?

And really, why didn’t this judge bother to tell the police I was blind or visually-impaired? Several of Christel’s E mails to my PSU account suggested he knew a lot about our family,and our struggles. And she put in one E mail that she believed he may be manipulating the criminal investigation against me.

Ironically, she also often referred to him in her E mails as “Judge van Daggot” and said it was based on his pointy nose and how it reminded her of the character in that comic strip.

As further evidence, he invited my step-daughter to a 2004 campaign rally held at his West Linn home. Guess who else was there?

Apparently, around this same time Judge van Dyk or someone else also got the county’s child protective services to send Christel a letter telling her I was no longer permitted to visit my son, Abraham, because I was under investigation. We ignored the letter and I continued to regularly visit him at Christel’s apartment until “they” had me arrested in early January of 2005.

As the chapter about the OCB describes, within two years the State of Oregon ended all possibilities of having a healthy relationship with him…

So back to the Marley letter, which I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Marley had encouraged her to write. Maybe Marley tells her, “Just write something, and we’ll be able to keep any exculpatory evidence away from the grand jury with Greg Olson’s help”. He then tells her, “Once we have him locked away in Bob’s dungeon, I promise the little pussy will be ready to take any deal we offer. Especially when he realizes the public defender and the court in our county don’t give a shit about any cripple’s search for justice!’

Let’s say, maybe her daughter knew nothing and innocently asked her mom to come to her room and lie down with her. They did this fairly often. But instead, Christel says something like ‘how about if you first try to fall asleep on your own. But if you can’t, knock on my door in fifteen or twenty minutes.

When her daughter knocks and she answers the door, instead of taking her back to her room, Christel gently grabs her daughter by the hand and pulls her into our room, putting her finger to her lips while pointing toward me, who appears to be asleep (as the camera continues to roll).

Then she and her daughter climb into the bed, and Christel quickly helps her daughter get undressed. A few minutes later Christel begins to touch me. She is hoping I will also start touching her, although she hasn’t exactly decided what she wants to happen next…she thinks ‘we’ll just play it by ear’.

As she’s touching me, she becomes more and more aroused thinking about it. She begins to lean forward so her daughter can see exactly what she’s doing, like they talked about.

And maybe, as she’s touching me and her daughter’s watching, she starts to imagine how many ways both of them can have sex with me, together. She’s hoping I would start touching her, and if her daughter weren’t there I’m sure that’s exactly what I would have done.

And maybe the real reason I didn’t touch Christel at that moment, was because I knew she would have very quickly lost control of her sexual inhibitions. And then, all Christel’s pretences about pretending that she didn’t want her daughter to know what she was doing (so her daughter would become aroused, and interested in joining us) would quickly disappear.

So, as I’m touching her, she imagines making love to me, laying on my back in the middle of the bed. She imagines first positioning her daughter sitting in front of her, facing forward, as she carefully helps me to slip my penis inside of her, and starts to rub her daughter’s back.

Or maybe when she’s touching me, Christel has this other thought. She thinks about offering to leave us alone together, to do whatever we wanted to do. She would like to be there and watch, but she also wants to give her daughter the sexual privacy she desires — she wants to give her maturing, adventurous daughter the time and opportunity to do what ever she wants to do with me, while no one’s watching (except the camera)…as they apparently strategically arranged to do a couple months later.

So as we’re all laying there in bed together, maybe the older daughter is watching her mother touch me and still feeling a little shy. But she can’t stop watching! I’m blind, and I don’t know she’s watching. So she thinks it really doesn’t really matter if she’s watching.

So one evening, after Christel gives her younger daughter some benedrill, her older daughter and her are alone, sipping wine and talking about sex, as Christel sometimes like to do. Maybe the older daughter tells her mother a little about what she’s been feeling, sexually, since that afternoon on the couch. And maybe she’s feeling a little buzzed and bravely she tells her mother what she’s been thinking about doing, with me. Her mother tells her to never be embarrassed by these sort of thoughts.

And maybe she even jokingly agrees with her taste in men, and tells her this is perfectly normal for a young, maturing woman to have these sort of sexual desires and fantasies about her mom’s boyfriend.

As they continue to talk, maybe she tells her mother that she doesn’t like the idea of having anyone watching while she’s doing it, even if it does keep her safe. So for her own safety, maybe she agrees to the idea of having a camera watching, thinking no one except her and her mother would ever see it. And, as they agree, if everything’s okay, they would delete it afterward.

She thinks, if she has the chance and if her mom keeps her promise, maybe she’ll let her mom’s boyfriend do what ever he wants to do. And the thought of not knowing exactly what he would do this time, if no one was watching, excites her.

As Christel is touching me, and her daughter is watching, and they are both pretending that the daughter’s not watching, maybe Christel is able to help me to ejaculate on her backside. And I almost did! But not on her daughter, as Christel may have been hoping I would do in one of her fantasies about how this evening of “fun” would turn out.

Pretending not to notice, Christel grows excited knowing her daughter is secretly watching her do this with me since she intentionally left the light on so her daughter could see everything…as her mom secretly films her watching…and growing more excited with every touch–

She begins to think about how her own mother, Kim, would sometimes watch her out of the corner of her eye from across the room, while some teenage boy, who may have only recently turned twenty, was having his way with her…and everyone was partying.

The experience gives her a warm, tingly feeling of togetherness, as she watches her daughter watching her fingers sliding round and round the tip.

Once wile I was spending the night at Christel’s apartment in Springfield, Oregon, I remember hearing the girls laying in the hallway, bumping up against their mom’s bedroom door one night.

Despite my blindness, whenever I walked upstairs at night I could still tell Christel had this massive bright light in the hallway, and now I think there was probably a lot more light shining under the door and lighting up the bedroom than I knew.

I asked, “Christel, do you hear the girls out there in the hallway, listening?” It made me nervous, hearing the sound of their voices so close, since we were completely naked and uncovered, and had done all sorts of things together and had already made love before I noticed the light shining under the door.

She said, “Don’t worry they can’t see anything.”

The next morning I felt the door and discovered there was at least a three or four inch gap between the floor and the bottom of the door. I realized the foot of the mattress, which was laying on the floor near the door, must have been fairly visible to anyone who was looking under the door. In fact, I would imagine the youngest daughter’s head could have probably fit part way under the door, if she wanted to get a “better” look!

I wondered how Christel couldn’t have noticed this huge gap. And I probably should have wondered why she didn’t get out of bed and cover it up when I reminded her. Which means that she didn’t care that both of them may have been watching us (from about two feet away), and may have been vicariously watching me perform cunnilingus on their mother?

One other time in Springfield, I thought I heard the girls climb out of their mom’s bedroom closet in the middle of the night and quietly sneak out of Christel’s bedroom. I’m not sure. Though it wouldn’t surprise me if they were hiding in there once again watching everything we were doing.

So, under this one possibility, afterwards, I imagine I’m feeling a little Embarrassed that her daughter might have heard something we were doing, but I quickly fall asleep anyway, not grasping the seriousness of the situation.

Then, let’s say that after both her daughter and I fall asleep, not suspecting anything, Christel begins to carefully wipe off my partially dry fluids from her nightie, butt and thighs, and begins to rub it on her sleeping daughter, underneath her daughter’s nightgown and across her private areas. Neither me or her daughter have any idea about what her mom is doing while we’re sleeping.

And the fact is, it is very possible that, as I said earlier, her daughter, innocently, may have not been wearing anything at all when she climbed into the bed with us. Christel could have planned it this way where she gets her daughter to quickly slip off her clothes, with a little encouragement, like the first time she got her and her sister to get naked and jump into the tub with her mom and me. For the record, I was always wearing swimming trunks when the girls were around, except this one night in bed that Christel wrote to Marley about–

While Christel and me were in the tub together this one time that fall, I remember, she yells “Come on girls, get in with us!”

A few seconds later the younger daughter runs into the bathroom and eagerly strips off her clothes and jumps in.

Then about a minute later, the older girl comes into the bathroom, and despite her mom’s encouragement, she says “I don’t want to, mom.” Christel then firmly orders her to take off her clothes and get in the tub with us. A moment or two later she quietly complies and slips into the tub next to me; I felt her naked thigh brush against my right leg as she climbed in, and then move to the other side of the tub…

Wouldn’t you think any young girl at this age who knows their body is changing, and they are becoming a woman, would be extremely shy. And wouldn’t you think most young girls, being put in a compromising position such as this by anyone, would tell their mother, “I’m not going to get naked and get in that tub with you and your boyfriend!” and rhetorically scream something like, “Are you crazy mother!”

But instead, there seemed to be another secret message exchanged between them during that moment, that made it impossible for her daughter to object in any way at such an outrageous request from her own mother. And apparently, this understanding also meant the daughter had to make sure I knew she would do what she was told, even if that meant getting completely naked, and climbing in the tub with us. This may be why she seemed to intentionally brush her naked thigh against me when she climbed in, rather than climbing in behind her sister and avoiding all contact with my body.

I have to wonder, did she have to let me know that she was completely naked and had done exactly what her mother told her to do? With a look, was her mother saying something at that moment like, ‘I know you want to have sex with Don. You told me you did. So you better do what I’m telling you to do, if you ever want it to happen.’ And the older daughter silently complies, and takes off all of her clothes, including her panties.

It would have been so easy for me to reach under the water and run my fingers across her butt and between her legs while she was slowly gliding past, if I had wanted to excite her and hear her giggle.

Or who knows, if I had touched her she may have said nothing at all, just stayed right there sitting next to me in the tub, with our thighs touching…while I touched her under the bubbles where no one else could see…

But I never touched her with my hands, and may have even pulled them back a little when I felt her climbing in next to me, so I didn’t accidentally touch her.

So exactly how many times it happened that night, I don’t know. But more than a few times; “She” touched me with her fingertips and briefly rubbed the tip, and seemed to remove some of the fluid, and then let go.

If it were Christel, and she were wanting to impregnate her daughter, she may have reached back and very quickly ran the tips of her finger across her daughter’s stomach and the peach fuzz that had apparently recently started growing just above her didi. Then carefully, and very casually, each time (when I feel her leave go of me) maybe she quickly runs the tips of her fingers down across the outer lips of her daughter’s exposed vagina, and then gently tickles her. Her daughter shyly smiles, thinking her mom is only teasing her about being naked, and in the bed with us, exactly as they joked about doing, a little earlier.

Perhaps, Christel is secretly hoping her daughter will become pregnant, without knowing how it happened. (Or maybe her daughter knows exactly what her mom is doing, and is letting her mother do this, as they agreed.)

So let’s say, her daughter is completely naked when her mom tickles her didi. So the daughter believes her mom is playing another game with her, since after all, she is secretly in bed, naked, with her mom’s boyfriend, who is also naked! Very exciting for a young girl, she thinks to herself, not realizing her mother is trying to impregnate her.

I know it all sounds crazy, but since Christel just learned she herself was pregnant (and more horny than ever), I can tell you that around this time her boundaries were even lower than usual. So maybe Christel, or both of them, decide it would be really, really exciting if they could have a baby together (with me as the father).

All four of us were really giddy when we found out Christel was pregnant, and after that, that’s all the four of us ever talked about!

“What fun it would be if we were both pregnant with Don’s baby!” maybe She jokingly tells her curious daughter one night (who is just beginning to bloom), who only laughs about it, not knowing her mother is intentionally planting a dangerous seed deep in her mind.

There may be some important facts about the family that have attributed to this sort of thinking. For example, along with her second daughter’s father, several of Christel’s mom’s boyfriends later became her lovers, including her first and third husbands.

And the sister of her previous boyfriend, Rick, was once married to Christel’s first husband, making Rick’s two boys her youngest daughter’s cousins, which I think would make Rick the great uncle or maybe the second cousin of Christel’s youngest daughter? It gets real confusing, the more you know…

Just so it’s clear, the older daughter is not related to Rick’s boys by blood, in case there were anything sexual going on between one of Rick’s boys and the oldest daughter.

So, maybe this has something to do with the crazy cycle Christel claimed to want to break…but maybe instead, decided to get me for threatening to expose her curious games in the spring of 2004.

She had just dropped me off at my Lake Oswego apartment when I had finally lost my temper. I had been steaming all day.

Christel, without telling me, had suddenly decided to begin weaning our son the day before. I knew right away it was only because she wanted her breast to fill up with milk before she had her Ford Foundation picture taken (apparently for the horny wealthy men who use these pics from organizations like this to select their next mistress, or bimbo, or another “coerced” intern).

Abraham screamed all night, crying and begging for his mother’s milk, but she never gave in, as you can see from the pic! And if this wasn’t enough, Christel even had the mordacity to mention something in one of her letters to the DA or Marley about how I had embarrassed her by not shaving for the Ford Foundation graduation Luncheon.

So back to our “hot” night in bed! Let’s say, while the three of us are in bed together, the older daughter has no idea what her mom did, getting her pregnant when she briefly tickled her didi that night while she was falling asleep. But she notices her pants don’t fit as well and she is starting to put on a little weight waiting for her first period.

Then Christel secretly stats giving her pregnancy tests under some other pretense, saying it’s for a drug test instead, and gets her to pea in a cup. Once Christel gets a positive test, she tells the police that she thinks I am the father. I am arrested, and when the baby is born, the test prove she was right, with only one reasonable explanation as to how it happened!

But when she realizes about two months later that her daughter isn’t pregnant, she comes up with another plan to get me out of her life, so she can keep the baby, and all of her secrets…

I have no way of really knowing until its too late when this crazy stuff is going to happen, and often found myself in these odd, uncomfortable situations with her and her naked daughters, in the tub, the bed, or once when I was sitting on the couch.

It was probably what had happened that afternoon, when Christel later realized that she had crossed the line, which was what may have motivated her to start thinking about doing something about this problem…or maybe at least, getting a little “security” to cover her ass!

And as I said maybe that’s why that night before she came to bed she told her sexually-curious daughter to wait about fifteen minutes, knowing I would already be naked and fully aroused by the time her daughter came to the door, and if she planned it right, ready to ejaculate (with only a little encouragement needed)–

PART FOUR
It was in the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday when it all began. I now believe Christel, and maybe someone else, may have encouraged the girls to take off their clothes, then take turns jumping on my lap facing me, and told them to ‘hold on ‘as long as you can, no matter what!’

Maybe their mom, or someone else says to them, “I think we need to really test Don, to make sure you girls are safe around him. What do you think about this idea?” And they agree.

“I’ll be right here, their mom says, just in case, but let’s see if he tries anything with you sitting on his lap like this, if he thinks I’m not watching. That’s why we need the camera, in case we need to prove it later.

Maybe she says something like, “He’s gonna sit there and try to ignore you. It’ll be so funny, won’t it!” They agree!

“Remember girls, there’s no audio, so you don’t need to make any sounds. Just take turns and stay right there on his lap. And don’t let go, no matter what!” And they both nod their heads and agree.

**************************************
Imagine if you were the producer filming this and writing the script:
“Honey, you need to take off your underwear too. I promise, we won’t show your face while you’re pretending. And don’t forget you’re gonna be a superstar!” So they both agree.

In order to get the best shot of their naked bottoms, the producer places the camera on the floor about five or six feet away, directly across from the center of the couch. He tells the mother to stay behind the camera, so it appears she isn’t home while this is going on.

After turning off the audio, the camera is turned on and the younger girl is given a pre-arranged hand signal to begin.

From this angle, the viewer can clearly see the back of the girls’ heads and their naked butts taking turns bouncing up and down on the lap of a grown man sitting on a couch, with their arms and legs wrapped around him. The film is deliberately slowed way down and every movement appears even more sensual and deliberate. From time-to-time the film pauses, at the “perfect” moment

The viewer can’t tell whether or not the man has an erection or whether or not the fly of these skimpy shorts he’s wearing is open or closed. Although the angle provides the viewer a good shot at most of the girls’ exposed underside, including the older girl’s fuzzy little pubic hairs, which the viewer can tell are just beginning to grow.

This means, from this angle the camera doesn’t really show if he’s actually having sex in this extremely intimate position with either of the girls, although the viewer can tell both of the girls are obviously completely naked, slowly bouncing around on his lap.

From this angle the girls face and breast are not visible. For this reason, The older daughter appears as though, and behaves in a way to suggest, she is older and probably more experienced than she really is- So the eager viewer concludes from her behavior, rounder butt and pubic hairs, the older girl has probably been sexually active for some time, before this.

And so, it may very likely appear they are having sexual intercourse to anyone who is watching and maybe masturbating, as perhaps it was intended?

The scene is left entirely to the viewer’s imagination as to what is or isn’t happening?

the viewer doesn’t know the man is blind. So it appears as though he’s wearing shades to hide his identity while having sex with these two young girls. And one of them appears to be only about six-years-old!
************************************

When the girls jumped on my lap they wrapped their arms and legs around me, locking their arms behind my neck and wrapping their legs around my waist. Then they began wrestling with me, sliding their butts forward and back across my crotch, while they pushed down, simulating sex…while they laughed.

Any reasonable person, like a jury, would have to ask how could a mother let her daughters sit naked on my lap with their legs spread wide and wrapped around my waist — similar to being in stirrups at the Gynecologist’s, waiting for a vaginal exam. Was their mommy using me and my “stethoscope” to play doctor?

It seems strange that a mother who would sometimes beat her daughters with one of these wooden spoons (purchased with the Ford Foundation money), wouldn’t react violently by screaming at them and grabbing them by their arm (or hair) and quickly jerking them off my lap!

Especially, given all the excuses that she had for striking them with one of these wooden spoons she kept around, including once for allegedly having wiped a booger on the bathroom wall while we lived in Beaverton, it seems odd that she didn’t mind them doing this kind of stuff with me, while she watched.

Maybe the girls figured out early, they were most likely to avoid these beatings, like the Hart children apparently did, by keeping their mother completely happy and in a prurient state of mind.

I can say I never once “saw” Christel hit the girls with a spoon while any of these “sexually-oriented” sort of games were going on.

So you know how crazy it was around there sometimes, I remember one crying and screaming tantrum where Christel accused me of loving Sheryl Crow more than her because I mentioned I loved Sheryl Crow’s music. Yet she didn’t mind her oldest daughter sitting on my lap, naked, with her genitals pushing against my genitals in an extremely provocative way? Hmm…

But the fact is, by sitting on my lap in this way their mother had to know it would force their exposed vaginas to open even wider, forcing even more intimate contact between us, unless maybe that’s exactly what their mother wanted?

Much like she said her own mother did with her and her sister, getting the girls to do what ever Christel wanted wasn’t uncommon. For example, around 2005 she had each of the girls throw the gold wedding band and the diamond engagement ring I gave her into the Willamette River, somewhere down by Oregon City.

This is why I suspect Christel was so easily able to get them to take off all of their clothes, jump on my lap and then pretend to have sex with me. Was it a quick thrill for her, or just another step along the way?

As I recall, one of the photos in the book of pornography the girls carefully studied showed this exact same position. The woman was facing the man and sitting on his lap, having sex, while he was sitting on a love seat.

I will confess, and Christel knows, this is one of my favorite ways to make love to a woman. And I would say it’s the most intimate position a man and woman could assume to make love. How could their mother not see how this looked?

What made sitting with the girls in this particular position even worse was that I was born with what I once heard from a partner unscientifically being called a “frontal mount”.

This is very personal to talk about, but it means my scrotum, which includes the penis and testicles, and which was being forced upward by the pressure on my legs from her thighs, is located slightly more forward than what is apparently considered to be normal for most men.

For this reason, not only does it cause the tip of my penis to protrude more than most men, especially when I’m aroused, when I sit down to urinate I have to push the tip down so I don’t spray myself.

And if I’m wearing clothes, apparently sometimes it appears (perhaps, to the wishful mind) as though I have an erection when in fact I don’t!

Ironically, this is one of the reasons I changed my last name, after getting a nasty E mail from the Oregon Commission for the Blind’s female Assistant Administrator mocking my previous last name to sound something like what you would call an erect penis.

So it’s perfectly clear, the main reason why I decided in 2002 to take Christel’s last name was because I wanted Abraham, Christel and me to all share the same sir name. Christel explained she wanted to keep her last name, which she got from her first marriage, because she was already a “recognized artist”, in Oregon and liked the way it sounded (but didn’t care how we spelled it).

So I printed out a copy of Linda Mock’s E mail and grabbed my birth certificate, and went down to the Washington County Court House. With Christel’s help, we filled out the forms and I legally changed my name to match hers, with the exception of one letter (as we agreed ), just prior to us getting married in the summer of 2002.

After we were married, Christel then changed her drivers license from “Wolff” to “Wolfe”, so our last names would be identical when Abraham was born, as you can see from his birth certificate–

[BORN: Abraham Timothy Wolfe
DOB: August 26, 2002
Gender: Male
COUNTY OF BIRTH: Multnomah County, Oregon
MOTHER: Christel Lynn Wolfe
FATHER: Donald Ray Wolfe]

So maybe you’re asking, why would the Assistant Manager of the Commission for the Blind send a male client an E mail from her government account that began, and that she knew my screen reader program would pronounce as, “Dear Mr. Bonor”? That seem kind of reckless, doesn’t it?

But not in Oregon since she’s a woman and the law regarding sexual harassment here doesn’t apply to most “females”. American Men better wake up to this double standard and turn off all of the fake, useless sports crap, before it’s too late and this happens to you!

So back to my precarious situation, being mounted by two young, overly-excited, naked girls, while their mother gleefully watched!

I was sitting on the couch listening to some fake football game when the girls took off their clothes and began to take turns jumping on my lap, as their mother sat a few feet across from me (and maybe video taping all of it).

And who knows? Maybe she tells the police she kind of remembers when it happened, after coming home she must have first turned off the surveillance camera and then started making dinner, and just simply forgot about checking…until now, and maybe both her girls agree to confirm this lie!

Although, I would think an unedited video would have clearly shown I had no part in planning or participating in any of what went on.

On the other hand, it seems like taking single pics of what was going on would be a whole lot smarter, wouldn’t it? This way she could pick out the “best” shots of her daughters squeezing their naked butts down on to me, which would, depending on my facial expression at that very moment (like maybe at that one instant when I laughed at the outrageous circumstances), which would more likely create the impression we were actually having intercourse, and maybe enjoying it!

Then she could easily delete the shots that aren’t as incriminating (like when I’m trying to pull her daughters off my lap). And then she could claim she had “lost” the camera (and its digital record). Just like Father Israel Bein, who was filming alter boys while they were urinating in his church bathroom (another individual who maybe had the right Catholic connections — such as, Alexander Sample?).

Some of us whistleblowers suspect Bob Hermann intentionally protected this sick priest by first not taking his passport when he was caught lying, and then by only charging him with a misdemeanor, so that he wouldn’t be pursued by the F.B.I….while he’s allowing his deputies to torture a completely blind man!

So was Christel being paid by someone with some connections to the DA’s Office to produce child porn in Washington County?

Here’s the interesting part of this story. Both my wife and her mother had converted to Catholicism when she was a teenager.

Christel would often talk about how her mother had once had an extended affair with a Jesuit priest. I could hear the excitement in her voice when she would talk about this, which she did often.

One day in 2001, after dropping me off at this costume store in Eugene (because Christel decided to keep her $300 costume, and say it was stolen), she went to Father Marks office at St. Mary’s, where I met her a little while later. While I waited for her in Father Marks office and brought her flowers, sense she seemed so upset that day.

Suddenly, Father Scott was transferred to Beaverton, and Christel told me she was going to drop out of the University of Oregon (and lose a year’s worth of credits) and transfer to Marylhurst, which she said was a catholic school. Although the exact relationship between Marylhurst and the Catholic Church is not clear.

But rather than moving any where near Marylhurst University, which is located half way across Clackamas County, she got an apartment in Beaverton, just down the street and around the corner from Father Scott’s new parish.

Not to mention, her “ex-boyfriend”, Rick, had also recently moved to Beaverton, and was coincidentally, also now studying computer science.

Earlier that summer, after I gave Christel a diamond engagement ring, one night I could never get a hold of her. She admitted, she had turned off the ringer and that her and Rick had been together. When I asked her more about it, she explained it this way–

She said he came to her duplex in Springfield late one night while she was sleeping. Then she said, since he still had a key, he came in and “raped” her. Then the following day, she and her girls went with him and his sister, and their kids, to a 4th of July fireworks display.

When I learned about it a couple days later, I encouraged her to file charges against him, she started saying that it wasn’t rape, but more that he had pressured her in to giving him a “farewell fuck”!

Shortly after she moved to Beaverton, we found a note on her car one morning that she said was from Rick. After she refused to read me the note or give me a copy, we got into a big fight and broke up. Because of it, and how much she was “afraid”, she said she had Rick stay with her a couple nights. But to her credit, she had him sleep on the couch and they never, ever did anything “sexual”.

So when we got back together, a week or so later, she told me that she had decided to throw away her birth control pills, which I found in the bathroom trash, right where she said they would be–

While I don’t know for sure, if there was anybody encouraging the girls to do all these sexual things around me, and sometimes with me, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn Rick was deeply involved in all of this mischief. It’s very possible he knew that one of his boys, who were both more than three years older than Christel’s oldest daughter, were having sex with her, while Christel and him were upstairs.

This means, Rick had not only made all sorts of explicit material available to both the two boys and the two girls (creating a sexually charged environment). This means, he may have known in the fall of 2001 that he could be charged with contributing to the delinquency of several minors. And he may have known that he, and Christel, could also be charged with being accessories to the sexual assault of a minor child, if either of his boys had ever done anything sexual with Christel’s older daughter.

So let’s be honest, almost any teenage boy who is regularly looking at pornography is going to try to do anything he can do, if there’s an almost naked curious young girl laying under a blanket, next to him. It would be extremely disingenuous to suggest that there aren’t more than a few ten-year-old girls who are having sex with a few teenage boys somewhere in America. Especially, if one or both of them are being exposed to any sort of sexual material and there’s no adult supervision. And in this case, both of the parents are clearly encouraging their kids to experiment, sexually, simply by their behavior, if not by their open endorsement of the idea.

“Great job son, way to go! Remember, you’re gonna have to start using protection pretty soon…when she gets a little older.”

So it was definitely in Rick’s best interest, so that he would not be charged with any sort of sexual crime, to get the sexually-active older daughter to have sex with me, at least once. Maybe he had offered her some money, who knows?

But we do know this, because of the book her mother gave her, and the pornography available on the computer, both Rick and Christel appear to have been grooming the older daughter to be interested in sex ever since they met.

So now, my girlfriend’s living in Washington County, and apparently making some sort of ‘soft child porn’ with her daughters and her blind boyfriend, and just like Israel Bein, Bob Hermann and Washington County did everything to cover it up…by arresting and torturing me!
(Read “3 Americas: 42 Days in Bob Hermann Monster’s Isolation Dungeon and the Coerced Plea Bargain”)

And here’s the funnier part of the story. Just like Father Bein, Christel went on to work for the Catholic Church through Catholic Charities, at the same time she is making all kinds of explicit videos of her naked daughters, including maybe “pretending” to screw her boyfriends!

As I mentioned earlier, I know pretty sure she was making some ‘soft child porn’ by photographing her kids while they were naked and positioned in ways that would make it seem sexual. And along with the naked drawing she did of me (and my circumcised penis), there was always explicit materials available, and easily accessible to any of the kids.

For example, as I mentioned earlier, she allowed her former-boyfriend, Rick, to put an icon on her desktop that linked to a folder called “Sloppy Seconds” that included links to pornography. The link was directly next to the icon which was linked to the younger daughter’s favorite game, which both girls were allowed to use whenever they wanted without supervision. And anyone who knows the younger daughter will tell you she doesn’t ever pass up an opportunity to learn new things…

But just like Father Bein’s problem, Bob Hermann and the public pretender are going to make sure none of this ever gets out, any way “they” can…
(If you want to learn how this priest was treated by the cops and DA wile under investigation, compared to me, read my article: “Year Passes with No Word About Filipino Priest Who Bob Hermann Monster Let Skip the Country After Being Caught by Victim Manufacturing Child Porn in Sherwood Church Bathroom!”

So, it all began when the younger daughter came running down the hall — running right past her mother, and hopped on to my lap and tightly wrapped her arms and legs around me and grabbed my neck. As I was pealing her hands away, she began grinding her butt into my lap, forward and back, as though she had been coached to do it just this way.

We struggled for a few moments, as she laughed. Then I pulled her hands free and lifted her into the air and off my lap, just as the older daughter, who was also completely naked, unexpectedly came running down the hall.

as a woman will try to ignore what’s happening to her and still become moist when she’s being raped, Similarly, this small amount of direct contact with the younger daughter had probably already caused the tip of my almost naked penis to begin to respond. If true, I didn’t think about it or notice it and sat back down.

Her mother may have giggled but said nothing to reprimand her, as the older daughter jumped on to my lap…and fell forward against me.

Instinctively, I reached out to grab her so she wouldn’t fall backwards. As my hands fell across her back side, I realized she was also naked! I quickly left go.

If I was the pervert that the persecutor and the cops were trying to make me out to be, it seems like I would have fell to my back and allowed her naked body to fall on top of me. Then I could have carefully rested my hands on her butt and just laid there letting (or maybe helping) her do what ever she wanted to do to me…but that’s not what I did or thought about doing when it happened.

But once you’re wrongly accused of molesting a child, your mind is forced to attempt to prove your innocence by considering what you could have done if you were the creep they were making you out to be.

It’s not enough to just say, if I were a “child molester” (as I am referred to by the queers, pigs, correction creeps, and feminizes in Rotland, I could have done almost anything I had wanted to do, but I didn’t! So along with explaining what I did do (which is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING SEXUAL!), I am also forced to explain in exact detail why this is true, by explaining what I could have very easily done.

If you read my account, I believe my circumstances, and what I didn’t do, prove how the over reaching arm of the “law” came after me, selectively. And since I know I will never get a fair hearing in Oregon, or probably anywhere else, I am compelled to make that argument here, in these writings.

I’ve written about this in other chapters, but so you know I never got a trial when I was first accused. And two years later, “they” did everything to make sure I couldn’t attend my divorce/custody trial by arresting me on an alleged PV just three days earlier.

Ask yourself, does it make any sense that my PO would call me on Thursday morning and order me to report to his office the following Monday, knowing my custody trial was scheduled for that same week, Thursday afternoon?

And when I asked, he refused to tell me why he needed to see me. You know, a lot of guys would become extremely angry if they suspected their PO had made a dirty deal with their wife, or maybe her lawyer, or who knows, maybe her new beau (or maybe his ex-wife who didn’t want some of their dirt coming out.

Because of all the recent shootings, why would any PO want to upset one of his “clients”? and why wouldn’t he want to see me right away, since he was instructed by his handler to asked Washington County Circuit Judge “Bloody Rita” Cobb to give me thirty days, which she promptly did. And she did this — stole my son, without allowing me to say a single word in my own defense (although I only “served” ten days of the “sentence”)?

OH WAIT! I know the answer! Because I might be able to get out before the following Thursday, and that would screw up the whole dirty deal I suspect was made between my wife’s friends (including some people connected to the E-Bay Corporation and U.S. Senator Ron Wyden) and my PO and his supervisor (who coincidentally was appointed to the Executive Director of the Board of Pardons and Paroles by the governor soon after this)…

So back to the couch. Here’s exactly what I did and didn’t do, while their mother was silently encouraging her two naked young daughters to bounce on my lap, I’ll have to, at certain points, explain it in some graphic detail, hopefully without sounding like to much of a perve. Since most people have already decided, it probably doesn’t really matter much what I say. But here’s what happened–

In that first brief instant when my hands brushed across her back and my fingers briefly touched her naked butt, I also immediately realized her bottom side was a lot more round and filled out than I knew, and that she wasn’t the little girl I had imagined. A part of me has to wonder, because I’m blind, if she simply wanted me to see how pretty she was. You would be surprised how often women will push their bodies up against me, or just come right out and ask me if I “want to see what they look like?” And sometimes, they don’t even ask…

Throughout these writings I have tried to offer evidence of how many times I could have been a willing participant in these crazy sex games. And it’s true, when the girls weren’t involved I often did, like the time Christel and me rented a tandem bike and pulled off the trail into the woods for a quickie, as people were walking and riding bye.

So, given my natural healthy enthusiasm for sex, I could have easily left my hands right there on the older daughter’s butt, and pulled her closer to me, while protesting aloud!

Rather than reaching back and grabbing her hands, I could have just kept my hands on her backside and started wrestling with her, pretending to object to her closeness, while perhaps moving her into position.

Instead, back here in reality, instantly both of my hands dropped to my side! I remember looking in the direction of her mother, and giving her a questioning look, like, ‘What’em I supposed to do now’, since it appeared her daughter wasn’t going to get off my lap on her own?

As a healthy male, you can bet a secret signal was instantly sent to another part of my brain, about what was happening. However, in those first few moments I know my conscious brain completely ignored any thoughts of having a naked pre-teenage girl (and her round butt) firmly sitting on my lap, facing me. So, in the beginning, I mistakenly thought it would be best to just ignore the problem until it went away, or her mother screamed at her, like she usually did when the girls did anything wrong.

This usually worked, when I knew the girls were deliberately annoying me. It didn’t take long to realize waiting for her, or waiting for her mother to tell her to, go away wasn’t going to work this time. Hmm…

As most people know, even before the breast begin to develop, when a young girl’s bottom begins to fill out this is the first sign that her body is entering into womanhood, and potentially, motherhood? And as we all should know becoming a mother only takes a split second of direct contact between one single sperm and the female egg while she’s ovulating, even for an eleven-year-old.

A chemical signal is sent out to every sperm in the neighborhood during ovulation, chemically instructing it as to how to find the waiting egg. And if the genitals of one or both participants are exposed, they may have no way to stop this biological process from happening, once their genitals make contact.

While I have no way of knowing for sure, and I never checked, I’m pretty sure based on something I overheard the older daughter had already begun growing some pubic hair; By the late fall of 2000 she may have had clear visible signs of her ability to ovulate.

If true, and it seems like Christel would know, and it sure seems like there’s no way she couldn’t have known, it should have been obvious to the mother of this developing young pre-teenage girl the risk she was letting her daughter take by placing her naked, maturing vagina so close to, or touching, the barely covered penis of a healthy, mature male.

In the beginning, her naked butt was sitting on my bare thighs. And it was slightly closer to my knees then my crotch. And her arms and legs were loosely draped around my neck and waist.

In truth, at this moment it wasn’t a total shock to find the older daughter naked, sitting on my lap. Although it was a little embarrassing, especially since she was facing me and I could feel her uncovered bottom sitting on my thighs. Not to mention, this entire time her legs were wrapped partly around my waist, trapping me between her thighs.

If a mature woman had gotten naked and surprised her blind lover in this same exact way, you would have to agree this entire scene would be incredibly romantic and sexy! Is this why her mother thought it was so cute?

Not to make excuses, but seeing someone’s face does really matter in the spur of the moment. Sighted people would tell you that seeing is always an advantage, but I can tell you that’s not always true. But in those first moments, obviously it helps to have that additional information as the brain processes the situation and decides how to best react.

Imagine you were completely blind and you were suddenly grabbed by someone. The grip is tight and it may be a robber preparing to strike, and it’s more frightening because they’re saying nothing aloud, but instead it’s a deaf man who knows I’m lost and only wants to help.

At that instant, do you fight or relax. It’s not so easy to decide anything quickly and know how to best respond when you’re completely blind. No matter who You are, you have to first gather enough information to know what’s best…

For me, it was a true moment of cognizant dissidence, having a naked, friendly not so little female body sitting on my lap, facing me.

By this age, the older daughter’s bottom half wasn’t a whole lot different than several of the mature women I have known intimately in my life, and made love to in this same way.

Christel and I talked about her and her smaller sister many times before this, who she sarcastically called the “little pretty one”. In one conversation, I remember making the mistake of telling her I liked petite women who could sit on my lap in this way while making love, which in retrospect may have made her really angry, although it wasn’t ever my intentions to remind her.

Before this, the older daughter and I had only hugged or once and awhile held hands while we were all walking around the mall or the grocery store.

I knew the girls would run around the house naked since I would sometimes hear their mother playfully scolding them about being naked. But until then I had never had any direct contact with them when they weren’t wearing clothes.

Now I have to wonder, was their mother also filming them while they were running around naked…and maybe hoping I would reach out and grab them when they ran bye. This may explain why they would always tickle me or smack my butt when they ran past?

Was Christel (or the girls) hoping I would “see” for myself if they really were naked when they ran bye? But I never did, not even once-

There were lots of opportunities where I probably could have “accidentally”, or intentionally, fondled the girls butts or didis, and who knows, maybe that’s what a part of them wanted me to do. But I never did, other than this one afternoon on the couch, when I could feel their naked bottoms bouncing on my lap, and despite my effort to ignore them, I could definitely feel it!

And it was a lot worse than that, because of this extra ability I seem to have to sometimes actually see things that my body happens to touch, intentionally or not…

PART SIX:
So you understand the situation better, I will explain how I had lots and lots of chances to try and fondle their genitals, if I wanted to- And on one afternoon, I had the “perfect opportunity” to probably rape the older daughter several times, and probably been able to use her mother, as well as her own guilty feelings, against her to get away with it, if I was that kind of person–

There was this one morning in January or February of 2002 when the older daughter was left home alone with me. We were living in Beaverton, and I was working on the computer when it happened.

She yelled out to me (in her most “sexy-sounding” voice). “Don, would you please bring me a glass of ice water?”

I was soon to learn, she was taking a bath (and the bathroom door wasn’t locked, but instead, left wide open)–

So when I came to the door with a glass of water, she quickly stood up and asked me to hand her the glass. And when I walked toward her, she leaned the upper half of her body into me, and our naked chests touched. Obviously, she wanted me to know she was naked, or at least naked from the waist up. As she sipped the water, she continued to lean in to me.

I wondered? Did she want me to explore the rest of her, since this time no one was watching? It was as though she were thinking, ‘If you’re interested, maybe we could continue where we left off when we were “pretending to copulate” on the couch’, while her mother watched..

So there she is, standing directly in front of me, leaning against me, completely naked. Of course, that is, I would assume she was completely naked, but who knows, she may have been wearing underwear or swimming bottoms. But I don’t think so–

As soon as I handed her the glass and she leaned into me, I guess I knew pretty quickly that she was teasing me once again,maybe testing my virtue, trying to play the big girl (while her mom was away).

Of course, now I have to wonder, maybe she knew her mother was with someone else that afternoon, and either her, or maybe both of them, decided that it would be okay if she wanted to offer herself to me, once again? Maybe that’s why her mother left her alone with me, because they both felt guilty about Christel being with another man that day?

You see, I had once or twice overheard them talking about this subject — talking about her daughter’s absolute right to explore her own sexuality how and when ever she wanted. I overheard them say something like this, but I assumed it meant sometime in the future when she was a lot older, but I may have been wrong.

More specifically, I overheard them saying something about the older daughter having a right to have some sexual privacy when she was with her boyfriends (and have her own bedroom, with a door that she could lock whenever she wanted to), and her absolute right to choose who she had sex with, and when she had sex…if that’s what she wanted–

So for a moment, I played along with her, partly because I didn’t want to embarrass or shame her by pointing out how suggestive this looked, or ask her what her mother would say if she knew she were “acting” this way around her mother’s boyfriend. But who knows, maybe her mother knew exactly what she was going to be doing that day?

So that it is clear (and in case there was a video recorder running), unlike what happened on the couch or what may have happened when we were all in the bed together, I never became aroused by any of this silliness.

So you know, after this incident in the bathroom I was a whole lot more careful about what I said or did around either of the girls. And that’s probably when my friendly relationship with them began to change and they began to resent me — when I stopped being their “Fun “Don”–

So, did her mother just forget to teach her about what it means when a young lady (with fresh pubic hairs) takes off all of her clothes in front of a male. And did her mother forget to explain what happens when she touches a man (with any part of her body) in any way while she is naked?

Be honest, almost all men, once they become aroused (by the sight and touch of a fertile, naked female), would think any female who knowingly put herself into this sort of situation was sending a clear sign of “consent.

Then, once this ancient message is sent to the masculine brain, most males would find it extremely difficult to resist the implied offer. Why would she, or her mother, think I wouldn’t be effected by this same sort of physical contact?

But the truth is, I knew she was safe with me (even though here she was once again, completely naked in my presence, touching me with a part of her body).

Almost immediately, when I felt her bare chest lean into me, a part of me wanted her to understand she was playing a very, very dangerous game by behaving this way around any grown man…and I wanted her to know that there are more than a few men (or boys) who are a lot stronger than her, and who wouldn’t stop until they got everything they wanted — finding a young, attractive naked girl standing in front of them in a bubble bath…with water dripping from every where, including her new, fuzzy pubic hairs!

All young people need to understand that when it comes to “sex”, even the very best plans can sometimes go very bad, very quickly. And every young girl should know, just because some man happens to be your mom’s boyfriend doesn’t mean he should be trusted any more than any other man, like a teacher, coach, or bus driver who has some sort of temporary custody over you.

Why in the world any young girl would ever let herself be alone with a grown man while she’s standing naked, in a bath tub filled with bubbles, is itself very troubling. But make no mistake, any man who would take advantage of a young girl like this, who mistakenly thinks in her mind she’s only playing a silly game with her mom’s boyfriend, I can assure you would very likely also try to figure out some way to get away with it…any way they could. And when coercion, manipulation or the threat of more violence doesn’t seem to work, the perpetrator may feel they have no choice other than to permanently silence the witness.

So everyone understands, the two fictional sexual encounters described below, involving an adult male and a young developing female, whether it was, or later became, “consensual”, is a serious sex crime. That is, unless a court has given its permission for them to get married. Which means anything and everything they do, sexually, that doesn’t involve violence or “force” is completely legal.

You maybe shocked to learn this, but it does still happen today in America in a few rare cases, where adult men have been given the right to marry girls as young as ten. In fairness, some of these arrangements involve fifteen-year-old boys who are probably more responsible than a lot of grown men.

But other than a few of these sort of sleazy arrangement in places like Florida or New York (and probably a lot of other states, including California), no adult who was caught would likely get away with having sexual intercourse with an eleven-year-old in America…unless of course you’re a billionaire with lots of powerful friends who wear robes to work, rather than actual clothes.

If you don’t already know, it makes absolutely no difference whether or not the young girl’s mother had arranged everything, and had even given her explicit consent, like what happened that afternoon on the couch — the afternoon Christel watched both of her young daughters take off their clothes and jump on my lap, and then wrapped their legs around my waist.

I suppose, whether or not the mother would be prosecuted for any of this sort of stuff would depend on which state you lived in. Regardless of whether or not one or both parents had encouraged this sort of inappropriate playfulness around strangers, all young people should know this much–

The rapist, when it is an acquaintance, will very likely do anything to convince his or her victim that they are not the one responsible for what just happened. And most people are raped by someone they know, not by complete strangers, as we are led to believe.

So, should a victim who is being raped, who has no way to stop it from happening, cooperate with their attacker? And should they be sure to promise to never ever tell, if it means it might save their life? I don’t know if there is a best answer to that question, other than to suggest that any young or vulnerable person should never put themselves in to this sort of situations — being completely naked in front of a stranger.

For example, If my girlfriend’s daughter didn’t feel well that day, as she claimed, and if she felt she needed a hot bath, why didn’t she take a bath earlier that morning before her mother left, around 10:00 or 10:30?

Did her mother know she was planning to take a bath after she left, or think to ask her? This would be extremely puzzling, if her mother knew why she was wanting to stay home. Was she starting her period? I would bet you that’s exactly why her mother let her skip school that day…

So knowing how almost all females on earth are programmed by men to feel “dirty” during this natural biological function, why wouldn’t her mother think to ask her to get a bath before she left?

So, now I’m wondering, did the older daughter start her period that day, that would explain why she had to stay home. She didn’t seem very “ill”…because after she finished her bath, she asked if we could play some music. So I hooked up my equipment, then she sang and I played guitar for about an hour.

Curiously, a few days before her mother would start her monthly cycle, she would become really, really horny, if I can be so blunt. It got where I would keep tract of what day of the month it was so that I knew when she would want, or need, more attention (so she would be less likely to cheat on me).

Does this sort of sexual energy run in families, especially at certain times of the month? I don’t know.

And if I can be even more blunt, was my girlfriend’s daughter simply wanting to be touched there, to make it feel better? After getting in to the warm bath, Was it something she decided to do on the spur of the moment, just simply hoping in the back of her mind I might be able to comfort her aching didi?Maybe she thinks about how happy I made her mother feel, and wants it to stop hurting…

I have been told by more than a few women that when they’re starting their period their vaginas actually hurt. And they would tell me that firmly rubbing the lips of the vagina would give them great relief from this physical discomfort (and usually cause them to eventually have an amazing orgasm).

And here’s another thought. Most of the women I have had relationships with, would often insist on being in the bath tub or shower when we made love (during these times of the month), which is perfectly understandable…especially for a blooming, young girl who is suddenly feeling all these mixed feelings about her body–.

So every parent should know, as you read this final part, either one of these two fictional tragedies could very easily happen to your daughter if you were too trusting, and you decided to leave her alone with a partner or neighbor. Would your young daughter or son ever invite any adult into the bathroom while they were taking a bath, for any reason? Are you absolutely sure? Does your kid, especially now that they’ve reached puberty, know what is and isn’t appropriate boundaries around adults when they’re undressed?

Otherwise, this may very likely be in their future, if they happen to pick the wrong adult:
First, since she’s already standing up, despite my blindness, I could have taken her by the elbow and with one swift motion easily lifted her from the tub, pretending to need her help with something, “Right away!” Which would have sounded very sincere, since this rapist does want her help with something.

She’s probably a little confused, but doesn’t resist, as she steps out of the tub.

Then I hand her a towel. But before she knew what was happening, I could have pulled a knife from my shorts and put it to her throat, and told her in the meanest voice possible to ‘not make a fucking sound!’

Within seconds I could have easily pushed her into the master bedroom and locked the door and slipped off my shorts. After moving her on to the bed, where no one would likely hear her cry or call for help, I could have easily climbed on top of her and used my legs to force her thighs apart, exposing her young, wet vagina…exactly like she was when we were on the couch–

Except this time I would be the one in control, and this time I would have no reason to prevent our “love parts” from touching, and rubbing together, as I carefully moved our bodies into a better position.

So at this point, you can probably imagine her smaller, naked body trapped underneath me, so she is unable to move.

Because of the soapy water she’s been soaking in, and because of how slippery the soap has made the opening of her young vagina, and because of how aroused I am, I am able to use my other hand to easily slip into her.

The sudden shock of feeling me enter her causes her to gasp for air. But her moist didi makes it easy to slide deep inside, before she can catch her breath and say or do anything to stop me.

Over the next three or four hours I have no doubt I could have easily raped her over and over, and over again, if I had wanted to…and she would have had no way to stop me!

Because of all of the adrenalin, it would probably be over really quick the first time. But after a short break, when it starts again, the verbal coercion part of the rape would begin.

So let’s say while I’m slowly forcing myself on her, I begin blaming her mother for what was happening to her, reminding her of all the other times her mother tried to get me to “do it” with her.

But this time it’s slower and more gentle. And while I’m doing it, in a more friendly voice, sounding sincere, I begin the coercion by asking, “Isn’t this what you and your mom wanted me to do with you when I was sitting on the couch, trying to ignore your beautiful little naked body?”

Maybe I tell her, as sweetly as possible, “You know, I’m not ignoring you now, isn’t this what you really wanted?” I ask. She makes a small whimpering sound, and I feel her shake her head once in agreement. Maybe it’s out of fear, but I think to myself, it doesn’t really matter; The coercion process has begun.

Then maybe I say something sick, but half true, like, “You know this isn’t really either of our faults. Think about it. It’s really your mother’s fault.”

I continue, “You can’t blame me for being a man? You can’t blame me for wanting to see every bit of you, can you?”

“You know I haven’t stop thinking about doing this with you ever since I felt you rubbing your sweet little fussy pussy against me.” She makes a sound that sounds like it could have been a giggle, but I’m not sure. So I kiss the side of her head, and continue.

After a few moments of silence, I pause, and ask her in an even more softer voice, “Tell me, why did you really call me in to the bathroom? Think about it. And why are you laying here with me now, without a stitch of clothes, making love to me?”

“Do you think this is just an accident? Or do you think maybe it’s fate that we’re finally together?”

She answers in a quiet voice, “I don’t know.” But she knows exactly why she’s here in bed with me, naked, and this time, alone with me.

“Tell me the truth, you did want me to do this with you, didn’t you?” I ask in the most sincere voice I can manage. “I know you were watching me make love to your mom when we were in Springfield. Did you see how happy I made her feel? Is that why you wanted me to do this with you?”

She feels my body begin to move again, as I lovingly ask her, “Tell me the truth, did you hope you would be my lover someday?”

After a few more minutes of this, I gently kiss her just behind her ear, and quietly whisper, “Do you ever touch your didi and think about me?” The question catches her off guard, and I feel her body involuntarily shiver. She says nothing aloud, although we both know it’s true.

It does feel nice, she admits to herself. She can’t help but feel it moving, back and forth, and now understands exactly why doing this with me makes her mom so damn happy!

It reminds her of the night her mother and her got tipsy and she came to bed with us, and the arrangement they made. She wonders if I know, and suddenly feels this strong urge to tell me everything.

She thinks what I’m saying may be true and that if she tells the police, they might arrest her mother, instead of me. But she already knows down inside she’s not going to ever tell any one.

She decides to not think about her mother any more, and concentrates on the motion of my body, moving back and forth. And when she feels some of my weight lift off of her, she feels her lower half begin to instinctively move with me, in rhythm.

The whole while, she thinks about what I said about it being her mother’s fault. And she begins to convince herself that I’m right, and she thinks it’s all going to be okay.

And who knows, maybe she’ll tell her mom. Maybe she’ll tell her she decided to go ahead and do it with me and it was great! And if her mom tries to give her even a little shit about it, she’ll remind her mom about their last conversation and what she said. “It was her choice to do it, when the moment felt right!”

But like the time she came to bed with us, and then her mom fell asleep, and then woke up! She knows, until she decides, her mother can’t say a damn thing about it! Just thinking about it, makes her smile–

So maybe she tells herself something crazy like this:
“I’ll bet it’s going to be even better…now that me and my mom will both be fucking her boyfriend!” and she lets out a small laugh, and thinks to herself, “and now she’ll have to stop beating me with those fucking wooden spoons, or I will fucking send her to fucking prison! And me and Don can raise the babies, without her!” She thinks, and laughs again.

Hearing her make a sound that almost sounds like a laugh, I ask, “Are you okay?” She nods her head and now sounding more confident, answers in a clear voice, “Yes”.

Then maybe she tells herself, it’s true, at first it did hurt a little, but it definitely doesn’t hurt any more. My mom said it always hurts a little in the beginning, especially if the boy is a lot bigger. But she also said it goes away after you do it a few more times.

And maybe she thinks to herself, “It’s not like I’m exactly innocent-”

She starts to wonder if I know that she had once told her mom that she had thought about what it would be like to do it with me. Her mom said that was normal, and to not feel ashamed.

Suddenly, she has this strong urge to wrap her arms around me, and tell me all about it, as she feels something warm running down the inside of her thigh…

She doesn’t want to see her family split up, she tells herself. Especially with the baby coming. And who knows, maybe there’ll be a few babies running around here, she thinks?

After thinking about it for a moment, she feels her body quiver again, and she takes a deep breath. She knows she doesn’t want her mom to go to prison…as she listens to her mom’s boyfriend breathing heavily and feels him stroking her hair, while their resting–

And she knows in her heart-of-hearts that he’s right since it was her mother who agreed to set this special day up — since it was her mom who got her to get naked, then gave her the idea to draw a bubble bath.

And it was her mom who gave her the courage, by telling her over and over that she was now “officially” a mature, young woman (because of her new pubic hairs), who could have sex with anyone she wanted, as long as she was the one who decided who to do it with and when she would do it–

She begins to feel warm, just like she was feeling earlier when she first filled up the tub and was sitting there, touching herself, and waiting for the right moment…

As she hugs me, she whispers in my ear, “My mom said that if I wanted, I could do anything I wanted with you while she was away.”

And she goes on to explain, that’s why she ‘took the time to make a bubble bath today’ since she knew she would have ‘all the privacy she needed to do or not do what ever she decided to do’.

After a short time of touching and talking, she completely forgets about the knife (which has conveniently disappeared from view).

She feels her body relax, as she closes her eyes. Then she begins to feel my body sliding down off of her, and feels herself being kissed, everywhere…just as she imagined would happen, when she first filled the tub with hot water and bubbles, and called out my name–

Despite this “perfect opportunity”, this isn’t what I did, or ever thought about doing (until long after I was accused of doing something like this).

Unless it is a professional arrangement or a form of public entertainment, biologically speaking, here’s the reason why every young person or any “sexually mature” female who is in the presence of any male should always, always cover their genitals (at the very least).

This is because the male brain is designed by nature to try and send a reminder to his organ that the naked female standing before them appears to be physically mature enough and perhaps ready to copulate, if the male or his organ are interested. Even Krog knew subconsciously a long, long time ago what a naked female with even a small amount of fur down there meant.

As I naturally began to visualize her standing there in front of me in my mind, in all honesty, it was kind of cute. That is, the way she casually was leaning her naked chest against me while she was handing me back the glass, as though she were feeling a little tipsy and had started to lose her balance. I remember, she used both of her hands to carefully put the half empty glass back into my hand, as though it were something precious and delicate she were giving me.

Consider this scene, and imagine there’s a camera somewhere rolling. She’s standing there in front of me, completely naked (with her fuzzy, pre-teenage pubic hairs showing), and she’s dripping wet. The viewer can see, she’s standing in a half filled tub, overflowing with bubbles.

Looking back, it seemed like it were a pre-arranged romance scene taken from the Nicole Kidman movie, “Birth” (which ironically was in pre-production around this same time, and which the girls and their mother watched on cable in the summer of 2004 at their grandmother’s home in Roseburg).

So to the viewer, it looks like she’s handing a half filled glass of expensive champagne to a man who appears to be her older lover, since the viewer can see no biological similarities between the two.

Obviously, she doesn’t want him to spill a drop of the precious liquid. As perhaps the producer planned it, by telling his young actress to very carefully exchange the precious fluids with the barefoot man standing before her. He is only wearing a pair of running shorts, which can be easily removed.

The inference in what the naked girl’s doing and what the liquid represents is perfectly clear to the eager viewer, who also doesn’t want either of them to waste a single drop.

When it happened, instead of sitting back down right away or moving away when she handed me the glass, she just stood there, dripping wet, waiting…

Honestly, at that moment it would have been so easy for me to have taken advantage of this situation, as she seemed to want me to do. I could have dropped to my knees and carefully began to explore her naked legs, starting with her toes. And to keep her from getting nervous, maybe I tickle her toes a little causing her to giggle, while I’m teasingly telling her what beautiful toes she has.

As I quickly worked my way up the inside of her legs, I would bet she wouldn’t have stopped me. And because of the shock, she would have probably only nervously laughed, if I had firmly cupped her bottom in my hands, and then began kissing her fresh pubic hairs, and then began kissing her didi!

Similar to what I’m suspect her and her sister “secretly” (and maybe excitedly) watched me do with their mother in Springfield the previous summer–

So it’s clear, that’s not what I did! Although, it sure seemed like that’s exactly what she wanted me to do…

Why would she leave the door open and unlocked while she was taking a bath and everyone else was gone…and she was home alone with her mom’s boyfriend? Even if she really did want some cold water, why would she stand up and proudly expose her naked vagina to me? Why did she lean into me?

Truthfully, that’s the exact moment when I knew for sure what she really wanted…

Or, in her confused mind, was she testing my resistance to see just how far I would go? She didn’t seem to have a real good plan about what to do if I failed her test and accepted the generous offer, and then turned off the light, turned on the fan, and quietly locked the bathroom door. And then, quickly pulled off my shorts?

But maybe before doing any of this, I first tell her I have to pee, and tell her not to peek, as I turn off the light and lock the door. And then, so no one will hear her, I turn on the noisy fan!

Given all of this, do you think she would have minded if I had quietly stepped into the tub, assuming she doesn’t know I’m also naked, without first turning on the light and pulling the door back open (she doesn’t know the door is locked)?

Since I already know she wants me to be there with her, close to her, I’m sure none of this would have bothered her. And actually, it may have only excited her even further than she apparently already was?

As you read this fictional tale, and knowing this fictional character’s true intentions (to find some way to have intercourse with her and then get away with it), So at what point do you suppose she would begin to resist my advances?

Obviously, she doesn’t feel odd about being in the tub or bed with me and her mother. And apparently didn’t feel the least bit shy about taking off all of her clothes and sitting on my lap with her legs wrapped around me. And she didn’t seem to feel funny about inviting me in to the bathroom while she was naked–

So imagine we’re both standing in the tub together, in the dark. Do you suppose she would do anything if I put my hands on her shoulders and slowly turned her around,facing the other way? Probably not.

As long as I were careful, so she didn’t know I was naked, I’m sure she wouldn’t have objected or been frightened by any of this “silliness”…until it was too late!

Given the risk she took by setting up this scenario, do you suppose she would have done anything to stop me if I had gently pulled her down with me into the soapy water? So imagine, now she’s presumably sitting in a tub filled with bubbles — sitting between my legs, in front of me.

Under this fictional situation, she’s facing the other way so when I’m ready, I’m able to easily pull her on to my lap.

Then as she’s losing her balance and falling backward, her legs naturally fall apart, completely exposing her naked didi.

At this point, she probably still isn’t scared by what just happened, but is probably wondering what I’m going to do next.

But then all the sudden, she realizes I’m naked, but still hasn’t decided if she minds (since she’s also naked). and the truth is, she hasn’t completely decided what she wants to do or not do. But I can tell by the way she hasn’t struggled with me (in the least), she either doesn’t mind, or hasn’t quite figured out what’s going to happen next…

So let’s say I’m the pervert they wanted me to be, and I’m already hard as a rock, since I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do with her (or to her, if she resists) right from the time her mom left for “school” — from the instant I heard her sweetly call out my name from the bathroom, I had a massive erection (so you know, that never happened).

However, as every couple knows, before beginning to copulate, the easiest and quickest way to penetrate the opening of the woman’s vagina is making sure they have a very stiff penis and a really moist vagina (one which has been either stimulated for a while by their lover’s fingers or mouth, or in the case of most women, a vagina that has been soaking for ten or fifteen minutes in some really soapy, hot bath water).

For all these reasons, before she knows what is happening, I cover her mouth with one hand. And with the other hand I’m able to quickly slide my extremely firm circumcised tip through the smaller opening with almost no resistance from either her or her body.

Before she can catch her breath and say anything, she is completely overwhelmed by the physical sensation of feeling me deep inside of her!

Even if she had been thinking all morning about me touching and kissing her there, maybe she hadn’t actually decided whether or not she would let me go all the way and do anything else…so the sudden shock of having her young vagina entered so quickly, in this forceful way (even if she was already sexually active), causes her to lose her voice until long after it’s over, and it’s too late…

Maybe after it’s done, this other alternative boyfriend tells her over and over how truly sorry he is. He says, he couldn’t help himself because she’s so damn beautiful!

At the same time he’s telling her all of this, he slowly uncovers her mouth, but she’s still unable to find her voice. After a while, she begins to breathe naturally and feels her body begin to relax.

As she leans back into him, and tries to figure out what just happen, her mom’s boyfriend starts to explain that this is just how men are around all beautiful women. Especially when they’re naked, standing in a tub filled with bubbles.

As she feels herself being gently touched everywhere, he keeps telling her over and over how beautiful she is. He tells her again and again, he’s so sorry, but he couldn’t resist her, and in a very small voice, from far away, she says she “understands”.

After a while, she starts to believe that maybe it really was her fault for teasing him like this, and for inviting him in to the bathroom. What did she expect would happen, she thinks to herself.

She’s still sitting on his lap, and she can feel him inside of her. Not surprisingly, she can’t stop thinking about how strange it feels, even when he’s perfectly still.

It hurt at first, ‘but it doesn’t hurt now’, she thinks.

Just as she imagined would happen earlier that morning, She feels his fingers slowly stroking her all over. But when he very carefully touches her with one finger somewhere just above her didi, it causes her to shake all over.

It feels good, she thinks.

While he’s touching her there, he continues to whisper ‘sweet nothings’ in her ear, and she closes her eyes.

Despite the noisy fan, she can hear herself breathing deeply, and begins to relax. It feels like she is falling in to some kind of tranquil trance…

Then maybe he leans forward and adds a little more hot water, as she opens and closes her eyes a few times, but can’t see anything, and imagines what it’s like to be blind. A couple minutes later, he leans forward again and shuts off the water. Then Everything becomes perfectly still again — “This is so relaxing,” she thinks to herself, sitting in complete darkness.

Then, as nature begins to take over, her body starts to respond naturally to the overwhelming physical sensations, both inside and out. After a few minutes, she begins to feel warm again, down there; She thinks about the glass of ice water sitting by the sink, and wonders if she can reach it from here, without getting up.

She can’t ever remember feeling this relaxed, like jello, as she feels him softly kissing her behind the ear and along her neck. At the same time, he’s gently stroking her hair, and touching her all over.

She kind of feels drugged, although she definitely knows she’s not. But the feeling reminds her of how it feels when her mom sometimes gives her benedrill.

‘Then suddenly, she is woken from her hypnotic state, as she begins to feel him slowly moving somewhere, somewhere deep inside of her. The pleasant sensation instantly reminds her of the night they were in bed together, as she feels it slowly grow–

Very carefully, he moves her hand down between her legs, and with her fingers she can actually feel him inside of her. She feels it begin to move, and she is surprised when her fingers can actually feel it push into her.

Suddenly, she feels her bottom half shake again, almost violently, and instinctively digs her fingernails into his thighs. After about a minute or so it finally stops, and she carefully settles back down on to her mom’s boyfriend’s lap.

And very slowly, without saying a word, they begin to move in rhythm together.

Because of everything that happens that day, in the bathtub, and again a little later in her mom’s bed, she knows, or at least believes, she is completely and totally coerced into not ever saying anything about any of it to anyone, ever!

But back here in reality, none of this happened! But if I were the creep they claimed, it could have easily happened just like this!

So why did the State accuse me three years later of having committed a serious sex crime against her way back when all this crazy stuff was happening — when nothing actually happened, that is, as far as I know?

It sure seems mighty coincidental that the State didn’t come after me until after I had threatened to expose her for inappropriate sexual behavior around all the kids. I told her (and her youngest daughter who was listening) I was planning to take our son to live in Florida, where my parents live. And that may have been all the motive all three of them needed to “get me!”

So I have to ask the question. Did her mom (or maybe someone else) give the oldest daughter the dumb idea of getting naked, getting into the tub, and filling it with bubbles? And then give her the really dumb idea of calling me in there to join her?

Was it only to test my character, or perhaps, was it someone who wanted (or needed) to get some dirt on me that could be used later, if needed?

And so who was it who had the really stupid idea of trying to get me to touch her young developing didi that morning, since I’m pretty sure that’s what the plan seem to be, since no one would be watching (except maybe a camera)?

It may have entirely been the older daughter’s idea. I don’t know, except why would her mother give her amorous daughter this perfect opportunity to fool around with her boyfriend, if she wanted to, after what happened that time on the couch? That’s assuming her mother didn’t know about all of these “encounters” before hand.

Think about it, we were left completely alone by her mother for over five hours that day, and there was plenty of time to do almost anything “we” (or I) wanted to do, and then get rid of the evidence (by washing the sheets and anything else that may have been stained with our bodily fluids).

But on the other hand, if setting up this “opportunity” actually was the daughter’s idea, alone, honestly, a part of me would be very flattered. It was obvious to everyone who saw her, and often said so, that she would grow up to be a very attractive young woman, just like her mother.

And the fact is, if she had been of the appropriate age when this happened, I would have been extremely honored to even have been considered. And truthfully (assuming she was over eighteen when this happened), and if we both knew her mother was with someone else that day, I would have probably taken her up on her sweet, generous offer!

But the thing is, because of her age when this stuff was happening, today, I am very concerned about what became of her (and her little brother and sister)–

Given the risk she was taking by inviting a grown man in to the bathroom with her while she was presumably completely naked and taking a bath, ask yourself, why would she stand up and call me over to her to take the glass, when I came to the door.

It seems like the soapy water would have offered her a little privacy. She could have asked me to set the glass down by the sink and waited until I had left before getting up and grabbing it?

But when she heard me coming she stood up quickly and deliberately said something like, “Here”. So I naturally walked in the direction of her voice and sort of bumped into her, since she was leaning way over the tub. It seemed like she was wanting me to come close, and maybe hoping, “I would see” her (in all her glory)…one more time.

Did her mom put her up to this, or was it her idea? I don’t know?

It’s true. Sometimes when they were flirting with me, in their silly big girl way, I would tease them back, but I never (intentionally) did anything sexual with either of them, ever.

The sad thing about this situation is that, if I had played it “right” (and not complained or questioned any of Christel’s affairs), I probably could have done anything I wanted to the older daughter.

Like too many of our judges and politicians, would I have also been blackmailed for life? Maybe that was the original plan, to let me have what “they” thought I wanted, but I just wouldn’t take the “bait”, as sweet as it seem to be, and as often as it seemed to be offered.

Here’s the hard truth. Despite all the previous playfulness, from that very first time when the older daughter decided (or was encouraged) to take off all of her clothes, including her underwear, and jump on my lap so I could “see” all of her, our relationship changed. And after she jumped on my lap, and then wrapped her arms and legs around me, and then moved her naked bottom even closer and began wrestling me for control, the nature of our relationship changed forever. Here’s why-

When she first jumped on me and fell forward, with nothing more than a very thin piece of cloth separating our most private body parts I would imagine our secret places must have briefly touched. So while I ignored it, and my brain tried to focus on the game, my body immediately knew our genitals had made contact, and probably began to respond, physiologically.

As I said earlier, we know any amount of contact between the genitals of a male and female under the right circumstances can not only cause one or both of them to instantly become aroused, it can also result in the creation of a fertilized egg. In fact, the female doesn’t even need to be aroused or completely entered to become pregnant.

If she were wearing clothes when this happened, and had jumped on my lap sideways, or only sat still, this wouldn’t be a real big deal, although certainly not appropriate for any young lady who was already entering puberty, and womanhood.

But instead, she first willingly took, or was encouraged to take, off every bit of her clothes, including her most private and protective piece of clothing, her panties!

Since I was wearing shorts, and had she been wearing at the very least underwear or swimming trunks, I’m sure it would have felt different then it did, sitting naked on my lap with her legs spread wide apart and our genitals bumping against each other. Even if I had inadvertently become a little aroused by the feel of her softness rubbing against me, as I did, it would seem very unlikely that any of my fluids, which are naturally released by the male body at the very start of any sign of being aroused, could have ever had even the slightest chance to enter her vagina…and ever had the chance to impregnate her, as I now must consider her mother may have been hoping would happen.

She intentionally, or was encouraged to, place her body (and exposed vagina) against me in the most intimate way possible, as though her or her mother, or someone else, planned it this way. And a moment later, when she moved even closer and began pushing in to, or on to, me, I discovered she wasn’t the shy little girl I had imagined, or at least not any more

From that very first moment, to anyone who would have been watching, it was obvious that our genitals appeared to have touch. So knowing her daughter was completely naked and I was only wearing a pair of thin shorts, which in all possibilities could have already popped open one or more of its flimsy buttons, or could have had a small amount of dried semen on them from the night before when Christel and I were making out on the couch.

Her mother should have put an end to it. She should have immediately pulled her off my lap. Instead Christel only made it worse by giggling at my obvious embarrassment and confusion over what to do about it.

I would imagine I must have looked completely dumbfounded when this was happening. And this apparently only made all of them laugh more–

A few moments later when I reach back to unhook her arms and lift the older, heavier daughter to her feet, she grabbed on to my neck a little tighter, sliding her bottom half closer.

So, despite that I was wearing a pair of nylon shorts, I know at this point our bodies were definitely touching in the most intimate way possible, as her mom watched–

If it’s not obvious, here’s the problem with her mom doing nothing. Inadvertently, at the moment the older daughter moved closer to me the opening of her completely naked, completely exposed, and possibly ovulating vagina was now resting directly over or against what was already probably the beginning of a small erection!

I apologize for being so damn graphic, but I would imagine by spreading her legs apart so far, the lips of her vagina were also being pulled apart. Because of this, every time we touched she was probably rubbing the extremely sensitive skin inside the lips of the vagina (which surrounds the opening)directly against my circumcised tip.

I believe, because of how she was wrapped around me, it means she was very likely able to easily feel my damp tip pushing against the moist opening of her didi from almost the very first moment she moved closer to me.

Based on her age and experience (which I’ll explain better later), any of this sort of physical contact with almost any man (or teenage boy) I would bet would cause any young girl around this age, based on these same circumstances, to quickly become aroused by the contact, and quickly become moist.

And if we wanted to be completely honest, even more aroused than she may have already been when she first took off her clothes and began thinking about exactly what she would do when it was her turn.

So, to my surprise she didn’t get up, but just stayed right there with her arms wrapped around my neck, sitting on or against my unusual protruding anatomy — sitting on me in the most intimate way possible, until I was able to remove her from my lap.

Until now I hadn’t thought much about her own physical or emotional reaction to what was happening, and what it likely meant, but here’s what I think happened.

I remember, her body swayed forward and back while she was struggling with me, tightening her grip around my waist and neck, and laughing. At the same time, her bottom pushed into me forcing even more contact between us. Because of the way her legs were spread wide apart, it’s not surprising nothing good would come from this situation…Yet her mother said nothing, just kept giggling, and apparently watching out of the corner of her eye–

As I said, the only thing separating our most private body parts was a extremely thin piece of slightly damp, nylon cloth, which if I think about it now, probably wouldn’t have felt much different than if I had been wearing absolutely nothing at all while she was doing this!

Whenever she stopped moving, gravity and the downward pressure of her larger and rounder buttocks naturally forced me to begin to slide into the empty valley somewhere in between her fleshy bottom; it seemed to draw me in, as I felt her push down.

And as I began to feel her soft underside begin to firmly settle on to and around me, I tried even harder to pull her hands loose. I suppose, I was still expecting Christel to tell her to get off my lap! But she said nothing?

But there may have been something else going on in the oldest daughter’s mind at that moment…something that she may not herself have consciously been completely aware of, regarding the natural desires of her quickly maturing body-

That is, knowing what I know about several of the males who were given unsupervised access to one or both of girls–

For example, Christel began a sexual relationship with her older daughter’s father, Frank, when she herself was still a young minor. Christel claimed the reason Frank had never found another girlfriend his own age, or any other girlfriend, was because of his obsession over having had a girlfriend [her] who was almost twenty years younger than him.

Christel also told me that several years later, while they were sharing an apartment in Roseburg, she came home unexpectedly and caught Frank having sex with an inflatable doll he owned. She never told me, and I didn’t think to ask, but I have to wonder where their daughter was when this happened? It may explain why Christel kept her daughter away from Frank for most of her younger life.

But really, the secret voyeurs who pleasure themselves by watching are the real perverts (and usually are the ones who pretend to be disgusted), since every person has the right to pleasure themselves, privately, despite the risk it may pose to their long-term vision.

But in the age of sexual equality, we really shouldn’t consider a man’s right to pleasure themselves, privately, to be any different than any woman who chooses to lay in her bed and pleasure herself with a vibrator, dildo, or her own hand (while no one other than the NSA can watch, through one of those low energy light bulbs that weigh about two tons; or one of those low energy shower heads that weigh four tons; or some other electronic device that happens to be in the room, like an alarm clock, radio, television, or phone).

Yet simply because males usually leave behind physical evidence (that can be easily stolen), where females do not, we publicly threaten men who choose to pleasure themselves with blindness and endless ridicule, or something worse.

And simply because a male’s private parts are external, and therefore exposed during urination, where a female’s parts are mostly hidden, we almost always only punish men for urinating outside. And then we put them on a list with most of the local “cripple” men where all the neighborhood psychopath-vigilantes (and a few of these “neighborhood watch” weirdo’s), are trying to kill them !

So because of the serious allegation made against me by the state, I can’t help but now wonder, simply because he was at the time single and had a young blooming daughter, what else Frank may have done to fulfill his healthy sexual appetite? Perhaps, after a couple beers, who knows, maybe convincing his pretty young daughter to give him a lap dance or two?

And you would have to agree, if anything like this ever did happen it would be a strong reason why Frank or someone else might want to encourage the oldest daughter to try to have some sort of sex with me, and then report me to the police.

Maybe this is why when Detectives Marley and Oaes came to my home, and I invited them in, they didn’t want to talk to me about anything inappropriate that involved her mother or father, or her mother’s previous boyfriends, or his teenage boys (who were left alone with the girls over night, dozens of times)?

Why did her mom decide to wait for two and a half years before making this erroneous allegation against me, alleging that I had “touched her daughter’s breast in a sexual manner”, given all the other crazy stuff that really did happen around there (under her mother’s nose)?

Was it because Christel knew I never willingly had any sort of real sexual contact with the older daughter, unlike perhaps some of the other males who had been in her life…

Once wile we were living in Beaverton Christel said she had discovered a bottle of lotion hidden under a blanket on the living room floor, where Frank and their daughter had been sleeping. Obviously, finding a bottle of hand lotion while cleaning up doesn’t really prove anything inappropriate happened. However, on the other hand, it is curious…as I continue to try and figure out who was really touching me the night Christel brought her blooming daughter in to our bed…and why she had to tell Marley about it, first.

One of Frank’s close friends, named Michael who liked wearing an elf’s costume around Eugene, admitted to me in 2000 that he had been “convicted” of molesting a male child a few years earlier. When I asked, Christel said she knew about it.

Despite Michael’s previous conviction and odd costumes, once on our way to Roseburg Christel decided that it would be okay to drop her oldest daughter off for the weekend at this abandon elementary school along I-5 where Frank was staying. When we were pulling out, Christel told me she saw Michael through her mirror coming out from around the corner, dressed in an elf suit.

Apparently, Frank’s friend, who was a registered sex offender, and his parents owned the abandon school and were living there at the time.

There must have been times when Frank needed to use the bathroom or take a shower. Did he ever leave his young daughter alone with Michael for an extended period?

Once or twice I remember Frank left his ten-year-old daughter and me alone in his room on 8th Street for about ten or fifteen minutes while he took a shower. Consider, at the time Frank and I had only known each other a few months when he decided to leave her alone with a man, who was almost a stranger–

Then there was Christel’s previous boyfriend, Rick, who I mentioned earlier and who she said had a “serious porn problem”. And had two (obviously well-educated, horny) teenage boys who apparently had access to all of their dad’s pornography.

Before Christel and I became engaged in the summer of 2001, she told me Rick and his boys would often stay over night, sometimes two or three times a week. She also told me that there was always lots of explicit sexual material laying around Rick’s trailer, which was parked up the street at his sister’s house on Lawnridge. So apparently, there was always lots of porn for the boys to “borrow” while their dad was busy upstairs.

So it’s very possible the older daughter had already lost her virginity to one of these males and was sexually active when we first met in the fall of 2000. I was introduced to Christel by Frank and his daughter a few months later, in February of 2001.

Knowing this, and knowing the lack of general supervision from her mother, the older daughter’s sudden brazen behavior and genuine excitement over what was happening suggests to me she may have gotten naked and done something very similar to this with someone else before me…who may have not stopped. And it’s very possible that her mother knew about it.

On a couple different nights, and usually when she had been drinking a lot of wine, Christel encouraged me to play this one sex game where I was supposed to pretend she was a nine-year-old girl I was seducing. She wanted me to describe, step-by-step what I would do, after we met in a park, or somewhere. When I remember, I said something about being uncomfortable with this sexual fantasy, especially since she had begun telling me about her own sexual abuse as a child.

I’m sure she remembered our conversation the next day and may have been embarrassed. because she never did bring this fantasy up again after that. I also noticed after this happened, she began to seem more distant, sexually. Did my unwillingness to play this particular fantasy disappoint her? I always wondered if that was the beginning of the end for us…

So, one night while we were sipping wine, I carefully asked about what made her want to play this particular sex game? She began telling me about how once her mother had taken her to this adult party when she was only nine. She said they gave her some LSD. Then she said she couldn’t remember much of what happened that night, other than remembering how the men had passed her around the room.

So, if Christel had herself been with [raped by] a lot of adult men by this age, around nine or ten, maybe she decided her daughter’s body at age eleven (and her vagina) were physically mature enough, and therefore more than old enough to do anything she, or anyone else who had her consent, wanted to do, sexually.

Maybe they already had an understanding BETWEEN THEM, AND they agreed it was entirely her older daughter’s choice, as a maturing young woman, about when, how, and who she had sex with (or fooled around with), apparently including any of her mom’s “partners”?

And maybe THAT’S WHY Christel SAID NOTHING when she saw her oldest daughter begin to push her naked bottom into my lap, simulating sex, as long as no one was forcing her to do anything she didn’t want to do…and maybe that’s why the older daughter didn’t have to stop, even when I asked, politely.

As we all know, normally, within just a few seconds, a healthy man can become fully aroused from direct stimulation to his penis. While it’s not considered to be polite or generous (when with a partner), a man who has been aroused can ejaculate within seconds of becoming partially erect if stimulated in just the right way. This is no secret; Christel knows this. But yet she allowed this intimate contact to go on between her older, naked daughter and me for almost a minute? They made it seem so normal–

One of the troubling things I discovered about Christel was her habit of drugging her younger daughter with benedrill at night, just like Jennifer and Sarah Hart were doing to their six adopted children (before they murdered them).

Christel’s younger daughter was very hyper-active. So that’s why Christel said, it was to give her some peace of mind, but it may have also been to give everyone else some freedom and sexual privacy in the evenings. So I know, she almost always gave her youngest daughter benedrill when I first started coming over to spend the night–

So, it’s easy to imagine that while Christel and Rick were upstairs, there may have been some experimenting going on downstairs, after the youngest (and sometimes, the most annoying) sibling fell asleep.

When I began staying over night at her Springfield home, the girls would often spread a blanket out in front of the TV and fall asleep watching a movie while Christel and I stayed up stairs. I’m sure all of the kids figured out pretty quickly that when Christel had any male company no adults would ever be checking on them until morning…and all of them could safely explore their own sexual curiosities, as I can testify almost every teenage boy will do when any girl is around who shows any interest at all.

And it’s hard to believe that both of the boys wouldn’t have some “interest” in Christel’s older curious daughter, who she often described as being “very pretty”.

I’m no expert on what happens to the anatomy of ten or eleven-year-old girls who are already having sex, maybe a few times a month, but I know almost all women will become more easily aroused and more “pliable” the more often they have intercourse. In a very short time for most females the vagina will naturally become moist and begin to stretch and become more accessible to the man’s penis, regardless of his size or her previous experience.

Writing about all of this, reminded me of Beverly Marsh, an eleven-year-old female character from Stephen King’s book, a major network movie, and the “box office smash (sure to be nominated for an Oscar or two), “It”, although horror films rarely win any of the major awards from Hollyweird.

In chapter 22 King describes how this apparently victim of incest decided to suddenly have sexual intercourse with each of her six male companions (, obviously, to help them focus so they could save Beverly’s “helpless ass”, according to the boys, who each affirmed this belief by agreeing to participate in the “gang bang”!).

In other words, King’s eleven-year-old heroin is able to do this with six boys, without suffering or bleeding (despite having no break between partners and having no lubricant)! Really Stephen? Did your wife Tabitha, who is also a best selling author and an activist, read this incredible cowshit?

Chapter 22 certainly does, and may have been partly intended to, poison the minds of young boys to believe the normal female body and mind is able to, regardless of age, easily handle multiple sexual partners, both physically and emotionally.

While there are some adult, mature women who can, and do, enjoy this sort of sexual freedom, most young men and teenage boys should know meeting someone like this at a party or anywhere else (unless cash is involved) is very, very unlikely. So don’t expect it to happen.

And since Stephen King and his sick publishers didn’t feel motivated to tell you this, let me warn you, all teenage boys who find themselves in these circumstances should realize this is a clear red flag that something’s wrong, so don’t make it worse!

Did Tabitha King write this chapter based on one of her own fantasies? It’s possible–

I wonder if who ever wrote it knows, Almost every boy who reads this provocative chapter will likely begin to look for (obsess over) a young girl, just like Beverly–who will never say “no”!

According to the author, the victim and the boys were all around the same age, which apparently made it more acceptable (And less degrading to the victim?). And maybe that’s why nobody that I know of ever said anything negative about this book or this chapter, except me.

In my humble opinion, without this odd chapter this would have been one of the greatest horror books ever written. So maybe we should consider, in the age of “me too”, we should also ask who are these people who are promoting this sort of blatant sexual abuse against a child?

Personally, I would like to “see” someone some day put the author, Stephen King, on the hot seat. then ask him if this chapter was his idea, or his wife’s? Or perhaps, more likely, his pushy publishers or agent, who may have put him or his wife up to adding this perverse chapter at the end of the book (to boost sales?)–

Here’s what makes it even worse. If you read it, this chapter is not only about seven children having sexual intercourse, it’s also about how young girls can best contribute when it comes to solving group problems…”Just take off your panties honey, and leave it to the boys to get you out of this mess!”

If you haven’t read “It”, or forgot this chapter, I’ll refresh your memory. Better pull the shades (and grab a cold towel)!

In Chapter 22, Stephen King describes in great detail how the young Marsh girl is able to have two joyful orgasms with two of the boys, and suffers from only a slight amount of burning despite her young age [11] and despite having intercourse with six consecutive partners (with no break or lubricant). Sounds pretty crazy, doesn’t it?

I suspect any experienced sex worker would tell you having vaginal intercourse with six consecutive partners (and then have two orgasms with the last two partners) would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, for any woman to do, let alone an eleven-year-old!

Most experienced men know Stephen, most female victims of any sort of sexual assault struggle with having orgasms, even decades later when they are with a loving, patient partner.

So portraying this young incest victim (of multiple sexual assaults) having two orgasms with two different partners who, along with four other boys, are taking turns, seems extremely insensitive, and a little perverse, for America’s greatest horror writer.

And as I said, what message does this scene send to young girls about what their role should be, once they have been abused? I know what the “boys” would say, and this book and its two movies certainly have re-enforced that belief.

It’s hard to say where the famous Jewish horror writer and his Jewish publisher’s and agent minds were when the book describes this next scene in explicit detail about how, after her four previous partners, Beverly’s young vagina is able to quickly open up to, and accept, Eddie’s larger penis, who apparently (mostly because of its size) helps her to reach her first real orgasm. “Way to go Stephen!”

It’s too bad, that instead of teaching young men that recognizing this form of acting out is likely a possible sign of a young girl’s previous victimization or abuse. And maybe teaching young men to have the courage to stand up to peer pressure and not participate, and maybe even rescuing her from what is likely to later become an embarrassing experience. Instead, Stephen King’s book glamorizes the entire event.

We know Bill is the boy she really wants to be with, and the reader is rooting for them to get together. Then Beverly at last rewards both Bill and the reader, as we listen to her intimate thoughts as they are making love and she has her second orgasm.

So why do you suppose the author chose to instead have her offer her body up to all of the boys before Bill? Are we supposed to believe that by doing this it will somehow help Beverly heal from her pain?

But what do we really learn from this massive amount of reading about children screwing each other?

And according to the author, what’s the reward?

We learn, the ultimate prize, after all of this “gang banging”, is that the boys are able to lead the “helpless” little girl to safety, now that she has shared her “love” with all of them, as King puts it–

So, given all of her and her daughter’s many adventurous experiences, it’s very possible Christel may have carefully arranged “it”.

Maybe, as I said, she comes up with the idea of telling the girls she wants to test my virtue, and gets the girls to help her. The younger goes first. Then she has her older, experienced daughter, place herself on me in the most intimate position possible, because she knew it was the quickest way to stimulate us, physically, while she watched. Especially if Christel knew her young daughter was already having sexual intercourse, but hadn’t been with anyone for a few months. So maybe Christel knew it would only take a small amount of contact with my crotch to get her naked didi to become aroused, and interested.

By getting her to wrap her legs around me, she knew her daughter would be exposing the most sensitive part of her body — the soft skin that surrounds the inside of the lips of the vagina. She knows it will only take a few seconds of direct contact before her daughter’s vagina becomes stimulated, and even more accessible.

Almost everyone remembers having that first real lover; everyone knows, after you get past that first awkwardness, you, or more accurately your body, could never get enough touching! Boys or girls, it’s all you ever think about!

So maybe having her daughter sitting naked on my lap, with our genitals bumping against each other, Christel knew her adventurous daughter, who at first only wants me to see how pretty she is, would quickly become aroused from the contact. And maybe she figured I wouldn’t resist the “opportunity”, once I too became stimulated by the feel of having a naked, “eager moist beaver” rubbing against my almost naked, and probably damp, penis!

Maybe, as long as her daughter stayed there on my lap long enough, inadvertently rubbing and bumping against me; sliding forward and pushing down on me, Christel knew, or believed, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from participating in “the game”. And she knew from her own experience, once your in the game it’s hard to get out. Maybe she just didn’t know exactly how long it would take to get me interested enough to play?

Unlike her younger sister, the older daughter was a lot bigger in every way. I would say she was probably twice her sister’s size. And she was a lot stronger, which meant her grip around my neck and waist was a whole lot tighter.

As I said, I leaned back and tried to peal her arms from around my neck. And she struggled even more to hold on, causing her bottom to wiggle into a “better” position.

Her mother’s laughter only re-enforced her belief that this was okay — getting naked and, perhaps unintentionally, simulating having sex with her mom’s boyfriend, while her mom watched.

Maybe in her young mind she thinks, ‘It isn’t like she’s really having real sex with her mom’s real boyfriend!’ So maybe when it began her brain convinced her it was only a movie or a game and it was okay to pretend, when she took off her clothes and underwear, and first jumped on my lap. After it started, and she began to feel aroused, without telling her, her body’s motives may have changed. And as I said, for a man I know this can only take a few seconds.

While I’m not a lawyer, to the best of my understanding here’s the general rule as far as what does and does not constitute a sex crime, especially when a minor is involved.

However, in most neo-liberal states, such as Oregon, the rule is a little different. Here, the male (who has no money for a private attorney) is almost always the “bad guy”, and the female (unless they are disabled, or extremely unattractive, or not white enough) are almost always automatically labeled as the victim.

During the day, Christel would keep the apartment around ninety degrees most of the time, which is reflected by our extremely high electric bills. Even though I think it was October or early November, as usual I was wearing nothing more than thin running shorts and a t-shirt.

As I try to analyze what happen that fall afternoon, honestly, I would have to admit long, long before my brain ever thought about it, my body already knew. I suspect my tip recognized instantly the touch and feel of that familiar soft curve pushing against it — as though it were searching for it, and began to react.

Ironically, I remember wanting her mother to tell her to get off of me! So I wouldn’t have to be the villain.

I suppose, if she had lost her virginity and her hymen had already been broken, and had been having intercourse with someone, then maybe this would explain why her body seem to want to force as much intimate contact between us as possible…as her mother vicariously watched…and silently gave her daughter the approval she needed.

As much as I try to write down (and edit) my perceptions, I can’t seem to ever find the right words to explain just how truly weird this whole situation was!

As I said, it happened so quickly. It seemed as though the older daughter’s body, much like any mature woman would do, was subconsciously trying everything it could to slip over the tip, and pull me inside, as it may have started to do, even though I was wearing shorts…before I pulled her off of me–

Partly because of her age, and maybe for the other reasons I describe, the older daughter’s motions were a lot slower and seemed more intentional, which only made the situation worse, as opposed to how it felt when the younger daughter’s bony butt (and quicker movements) was sliding back and forth across my lap.

As most adults know, the opening of the vagina will open wider during both stimulation and child birth. Only a conscious effort on the part of the female, such as when a woman is being raped, can prevent this natural response from happening. Although, it is unlikely to prevent or stop any sort of forcible penetration.

So along with possibly causing the older daughter to become stimulated, my body was probably also beginning to release a small amount of semen. This is perfectly normal for any male during the first moments of arousal. It is similar to how a woman will sometimes have an orgasm while she is being raped.

Unlike a condom, the thin material of my shorts would not likely prevent some of my semen and sperm from seeping through the thin cloth.

The growing moisture on the tip, along with the slippery nylon cloth and her own moisture, could have acted like a lubricant, which may have made the opening of the labia and vagina more slippery and easier to penetrate. Especially if she was “experienced”.

On a side note, as most people know, the male sperm is an amazing ‘animal’. It is released from the penis at an incredible speed of over thirty miles per hour during ejaculation. While most of the fluid released from the penis is semen, and not actual sperm, the amount of sperm released during ejaculation can be in the tens of millions. The sperm has only one true purpose in life; the sperm lives to find and penetrate the female egg. It’s possible that sperm numbering in the hundreds of thousands, and maybe even millions, were already waiting when the older daughter moved her bottom up against me…

As a matter of fact, the sperm is always waiting on the tip of any slightly aroused penis, waiting to be inserted into, or brought near to, any vagina. The penis could care less who’s vagina it is entering.

Because of the sperm’s fierce will to survive, any amount of male sperm, even just one, placed on, or inside of, or any where near the outer lips of the vagina will recognize the signal immediately and do anything it can to get inside the opening, in order to make that long swim up the vaginal canal toward the fallopian tube in search of the unfertilized egg. It knows this is the only way it will survive.

You might say, it’s that wonderful “Sent of a Woman”, or more accurately, the enzymes in her vagina that psychotically draws the sperm from its resting place deep inside the testicles out into the world, triggering the sperm’s natural desire to succeed at all costs.

At this point, its the greatest race of all — a race to the starting line! Without some kind of contraceptive, or its death (not more than twenty-four hours later, unless refrigerated), the sperm will not be otherwise prevented from completing its mission — impregnate the egg and create life.

Shortly after she jumped on my lap, I remember saying something to the older daughter like “What are you doing? Come on, stop that!” As I said, I think she may have even laughed at me once or twice, but wouldn’t let go.

Maybe I didn’t say it harsh enough to convey my concern about what she was doing to me, physically. I suppose I ignorantly thought she couldn’t feel my partial erection pushing against her most private area.

Intentionally or not, she seemed to have absolutely no reservations over the fact that she was starting to stimulate me, sexually. It was as though my lap were the horn of a saddle she were riding in a parade, while her mother cheered us on!

Fact is, it was a no win situation for me from the moment the girls first took off their clothes and decided to jump on my lap, no matter what I did, or how fast I did it, I would be the villain.

Sad thing is, I knew in their own minds the girls were teasing me — playing another silly game, like they often did. I didn’t want to shame them or give them a good reason to begin hating all men by getting angry, as I had every right to do. And as I said, I nervously giggled at some point over the ridiculous situation, being held down and mounted by a frisky eleven-year-old naked girl!

So, why would Christel let her older daughter get naked and simulate having sex with me in this intimate, easily accessible position? Was she trying to get me aroused so I would do something sexual with her daughter. intentional or not? By getting our genitals to touch, was she planting another seed in our minds that could possibly be cultivated later, if needed?

as I said, it happened so quickly. I didn’t realize it wasn’t a silly game any more, until those last few moments; the moment when I thought I felt her start to slip over me, as she was pushing down. Truthfully, not to be too graphic, it is also possible that what I felt at that moment was actually the tip of my penis starting to slip in front of her, between her thighs. I know, no matter what was or wasn’t happening, at that moment it definitely freaked me out!

At that very instant, I panicked! That’s why I didn’t notice the older daughter’s own physical reaction to what was happening. I do remember when I first tried to pull her free I felt her squeeze her thighs together as though she were trying to hold me in place, like a pair of kitchen pliers.

Like I said, she wasn’t yet a young woman or at the age of consent, but she wasn’t a little girl either, physically or emotionally. And while I may not have thought about her physical maturity before this, my body had already figured it out, as I may have felt in that last moment when a part of her soft underside may have instinctively open and close around the tip.

As most men know, a man can touch the opening of a woman’s vagina with his penis, his finger or his tongue, and the vagina will usually instantly open into a perfect circle, unless the woman is focused on not being entered (and is not being raped).

After inserting the penis, finger or tongue into the opening, the opening will instinctively close around it in a way that can’t be described in words; it’s a feeling that a man (or woman) is likely to never forget.

Simply the process of giving birth proves how powerful the woman’s vagina is!

When exercised, the vagina has the ability to take hold of something and not let go until it gets what it wants, which makes it almost seem like a woman inside of a woman.

So the reader knows, other than that first moment she unexpectedly jumped on me and I grabbed her and realized that she was naked, and I paused for a moment and let my hands drop to my side, I never stopped trying to pull the older daughter’s hands and arms from around me.

It’s taken me years to process what actually happened during this one particular minute in my life, when everything changed, and then gotten to a place where I’ve been able to write about it. Thinking about what I might have done differently?

Had I known at the time how Christel would viciously use and manipulate incidents just like this to vilify me, while excusing her own bad behavior. In retrospect, I could, and maybe should, have let all of my anger go at that moment and started screaming at all three of them!

“What are you sluts doing! Why are you trying to fuck me!”

But not now, or when it happened, have I been angry at the girls over what they were doing. I knew there was no real prurient intent in their hearts or ill-will toward me. Even if someone talked them into trying to get me to do something they knew was wrong, and they knew it was more than just a silly game.

Maybe not at first, but from the moment I heard her giggle over the embarrassing situation I quickly began to suspect their mother had a lot to do with what they were doing. And that’s probably why I was ignorantly waiting for Christel to make her older daughter to get her naked butt the hell off MY LAP! “And put on some damn clothes, for god’s sake!”

I’m sure they would be embarrassed today to talk about what happened. And I apologize, and would prefer not to embarrass the girls by bringing any of this stuff up. But my life now depends on telling my side of the story!

As I said, almost every day I am being assaulted in the crotch, feet, hands, scalp, nose and other more private places with some sort of invisible laser that can shock, burn, itch, or numb you. for no reason, these weapons can cause you to lose your breath or your balance, or even cause you to pass out.

I believe, those responsible may include a group of powerful people, which I know includes some local and federal cops, and very likely a local group of wealthy and influential vigilantes called the “Round Circle”.

The current Multnomah Sheriff, Mike Reese, was apparently one of the group’s original founders, just prior to running unopposed in 2016, and surprise, surprise, being “elected” sheriff! (In all fairness, this was a special election and Reese was appointed to be acting sheriff when the previous Sheriff, Dan Staton, was forced to resign over allegations of having “sexually assaulted” and/or “sexually harassed” several female deputies. Ironically, Reese himself, was forced to also resign a few years earlier as Portland’s chief of police after a series of allegations and criminal charges had been filed against several Portland Police Officers under his supervision.

Because of my activism, and how Sheriff Reese had bragged to the Portland City Club about his brand new powerful tasers, I believe both the Portland Police and the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Department, along with Clackamas and Washington County law enforcement, are all involved in the ongoing sexual assaults and the daily harassment being leveled against me.)

A few years ago my neighbor, Donna (Lot 24) suddenly died. She was a few years older than me when she died and was a very delicate woman. She had both a brain tumor and bad heart, and could never handle the sort of shocks I am getting.

Since most of these sudden shocks used to be coming from mostly the north (Lot 22 or maybe Lot 19) and they sometimes take away my breath and leave burn marks. And since Donna lived only about twelve feet away from me to the south, I believe they may have unintentionally killed her while they were torturing me and my dog with these weapons.

Debbie Sleeper, the manager here at Southgate, claimed she died of natural causes the same day she died…but I have always wondered how the manager could know exactly how Donna died that soon?

I also told Ms. Sleeper at the time I had heard a man screaming at Donna the night before she died. I also told her I heard this same man, who I thought I heard Donna call “Mike”, yelling at her once earlier that week,

Apparently the manager never told the police anything about this stranger…who may have “accidentally” caused her death, by either threatening her or upsetting her, if not by electrocuting her too. I heard him telling Donna she had to move (until they were done with me).

Here’s the strange thing. They had already once moved Donna out of her trailer about six months earlier, claiming they were re-modeling it, which the manager confirmed when I asked what happened to her.

When Donna first moved back in she asked for, and I gave her a small bag of medical marijuana, as I often did. she told me they hadn’t done hardly any work at all on her trailer and she was angry at Debbie [the manager] about being forced to move out of her home where she’s lived for twenty years. That is, until she put her foot down and demanded to be brought back home…where she died a few months later–

So, there’s no doubt in my mind this is all happening today because of what began that afternoon. And probably because of my outspoken political views about marijuana reform, removing fluoride form our public water, and holding the State of Israel accountable for its continuing genocide of the Palestinians. And probably because of my vocal advocacy against the government’s over reaching surveillance, our criminal injustice system (that regularly abuses anyone who is poor, who is a racial minority, or anyone who is or who appears to be disabled [i.e. “defective”]).

For the last seven or eight years almost every night “they” gather outside my RV after dark to conduct these daily rapes, where me and my dog are being shocked, sprayed with some liquid, and literally being cooked alive with some sort of cell-damaging, microwave weapon, which I believe is being used by some federal agency’s secret authorization under the pretences of being a “body scanner”, or that’s how I would describe how it feels (except I have no weapon, other than my mind, and haven’t left my home in almost three years):
(See: “Gay Governor Kate Brown Lets Oregoons Torture New Ota Benga, for Fun!”

Is this why the Vegas shooter, Stephen Potok, was reported to have been heard screaming in his bed at night? Was he being tortured like me? Except maybe he didn’t know which Nevada mobster was behind it, so, like Aaron Alexis, did he start making a plan…a plan to stop them (or at least, stop the people who may be funding this evil program? A secret program that is intentionally driving Americans crazy and seems to want more and more anger and violence, since it would give them an excuse (with the public support)to take away the one weapon they can’t control, electronically.

We’ve always known the pressitutes have been covering up for “them” (if they want to get paid). Along with the plastics and other poisons they’re using to kill us, by turning up the “heat” on the entire world, our bodies will begin to break down from stress and decease, making all of you helpless blind people who, like me, can be raped, tortured or murdered by the police, the “correction” creeps or some guy under their mind control weapons (like Chris Mercer or James Holmes) when ever they want.

So back to the couch. The one mistake I probably did make was pausing for a brief moment when it first started, for about ten seconds, trying to ignore the seriousness of the situation, and mistakenly thinking Christel would tell her to ‘get off me and get dressed!’

For a moment, let’s assume Christel had no part in this craziness, and maybe the youngest daughter was the one originally behind the plan, even if it did eventually get out of hand. From the moment Christel first noticed (not that she didn’t notice) that her oldest daughter was completely naked and sitting on her boyfriend’s lap, facing him, with at most a couple inches separating their genitals, she should have stood up and stopped it immediately.

And she certainly should have noticed a moment later, when her oldest daughter, who was beginning to bloom, had slid her naked, round bottom closer to her boyfriend’s genitals, and was not sitting still, obviously causing even more contact between their private areas.

So the reader better understands how Christel reacted when this happened, I’ll explain the moment one last time. Skip these next two paragraphs if you like, but this is how it went, and more importantly, how Christel responded.

I was leaning back pulling her arms from around my neck, when she pushed down one last time and I thought I felt her body begin to swallow my tip. I don’t know if she still had her hymen. She never made a sound that would have let me know she was in any pain, which I figured meant I had pulled her off me before anything serious had happened.

Then at that same moment, I thought I might have also felt the soft underside of her tighten around me. as she squeezed her legs together. At that same instant I roughly jerked her hands apart and broke her grip around my waist, and lifted her into the air.

Here’s the point and why this level of honesty is needed. At this very second when this happened I heard Christel laugh out loud, really loud! It was as though something had burst inside of her. I now wonder, did she have an orgasm?

She must have seen the shocked look on my face when it happen — when her daughter fell against me. Did seeing this cause Christel to instantly become excited? I could tell by the laughter that followed, Christel seemed to be extremely titillated by the live entertainment, and didn’t care that things had suddenly gotten a lot more serious. Except, here’s the really twisted part of this particular sex game.

I remember, at that moment the older daughter had quickly buried her face into my neck, and I felt her suddenly throw her long, wavy hair across my back and face. This is why I know her mother never saw the look on her daughter’s face when it happened…

But now, as I think back, her daughter must have also been shocked by the sudden intimate contact between our most sensitive and most private body parts…

I suppose it’s possible that her already aroused didi only needed that small, little tickle near the opening of her vagina to make it respond, as I suspect it probably did when she pushed down that last time–

that’s why today, I believe her older daughter may have had an orgasm at that moment when we seemed to touch, intimately. And it may have been her first.

Based on how I recall it felt at the moment when her entire body instinctively tightened around me, I realize now this is the same exact thing that happens when I’m making love to a mature woman when she’s sitting on my lap in this way.

Obviously if she were a mature woman, I would have acknowledged her physical response by rubbing her back and holding on to her as tight as I could until it was over, but that’s not what I did!

Honestly, the older daughter may or may not have understood what happened to her, other than suddenly feeling really dizzy and losing her breath.

Maybe a part of her wants to separate the memory from me. Maybe her body is telling her it felt nice, this strong physical sensation that for a moment took her breath away and made her feel warm all over!

But yet she feels ashamed, because she can’t separate me from the experience, which not surprisingly makes her feel angry. She thinks to herself, ‘It wasn’t so confusing before this when Rick and the boys were around, and slowly begins to hate me.

Because of both her mom’s and dad’s encouragement, and maybe someone else, over the next several months and years her anger is carefully cultivated and directed toward me. Especially when anything goes wrong. Rather than her anger being directed at her mother or grandmother, who would sometimes talk her into doing these crazy things(or through their own bad behavior, plant dangerous ideas in her mind). I am a convenient villain.

So after it happens, maybe she tries to tell her mom about her confusing feelings over how her body reacted so strangely when she was sitting on my lap, completely naked.

She maybe says, ‘Mommy, all the sudden I could feel it touching against my didi. Then I got this really weird tinglely feeling all over, and I think I almost passed out.’

Her mother just plays it off and tells her it was nothing, and to just try and forget about it.

Except her mom knows exactly what happened and why her body responded to having the inner lips of her young naked didi rubbed in this way by her boyfriend’s circumcised penis. It excites her, thinking about when she was watching her daughter slide her naked vagina back and forth across the round tip of her boyfriend’s erection. She imagines it growing larger.

Then she begins to worry that her daughter might tell someone else? After all, it may have been her idea to get her daughters to take their clothes off and straddle my lap in a way that she knew, or should have known, would force some direct intimate contact between the most sensitive part of our ‘sexual reproductive organs’.

Even if you want to give her the benefit of the doubt like Bob Hermann, Greg Olson and Dennis Marley did, think about what would be the worst possibility about what happened that day.

Christel may have gone as far as to knowingly have her daughters place their naked didis directly against the most private part of my body and move in a way that she knew I would very likely react, physically. Not to mention, sitting in this way on my lap would likely also cause her girls, especially her possibly sexually-active older daughter, to very quickly become aroused.

Christel had to know being completely naked with their legs spread apart wide while they were forcing the already parted lips of their developing vaginas down on to or against any male’s penis (and what would likely very quickly become a stiffening penis), their vaginas would, or could, be easily penetrated by the man’s tip, accidentally or not. Especially the older daughter, given her age and anatomy, and her possible previous sexual experience (and her mom’s apparent complete consent to be sexually active, if that’s what she wanted).

As I said, it lasted just a couple seconds. At the moment I realized what was happening, when I may have felt her empty space start to slip down over me, I quickly reacted and firmly pried her hands lose from around my neck.

Because of the way her legs were wrapped around me, and her extra weight, only then was I able to begin to stand up and lift the older daughter off my lap and break any sort of intimate contact between our bodies.

If you think about it, I could have easily sat perfectly still at that moment and done nothing; I could have simply pretended to be an unwilling participant as this young naked pre-teenage girl was unknowingly spreading the lips of her completely exposed vagina against the stiffening tip of my almost naked penis, and wiggling around while she was pushing down!

And what do you think would happen next, as she continued to bounce around on my lap in this same way, forward and down, while her mother watched?

Then, if I were a creep, I would have probably only needed a minute or so to let it happen, while pretending to listen to the game.

You see, if I had sat perfectly still and not pulled her off my lap, and if she had already lost her virginity, it may have only taken another minute before I slipped inside the opening and we actually began copulating!

I can assure you, if this had happened, my brainless friend would have responded to the moisture and intimate contact, and probably ejaculated within a few seconds!

My point in describing this possible outcome in such graphic detail is to make the reader understand how damn easy it would have been for me, or any real sexual predator, to take advantage of this amazing “opportunity”.

But that’s not what I did! And only a righteous asshole or vindictive woman could blame me for any of this craziness!

And god knows, If I had ever ejaculated on or in either of the girls for any reason at all, No one, including me, would ever defend my participation, regardless of the circumstances. But that never happened. And it was the choice I willfully made more than once!

As is so often the case in America today, and as my story proves, they crucified the poor man [me] anyway!

When it was over, and the older daughter had been removed from my lap, I could tell by her voice Christel was looking toward my crotch, perhaps looking to see if, and maybe hoping, I had released some of my bodily fluids, thinking it was all so funny. She just kept giggling at my obvious embarrassment; She thought it was funny that I had gotten an erotic lap dance from her naked, pre-teenage daughter who may have just had an orgasm, and maybe even her very first! (“Way to go, ‘Big Eddie’!”)

We know boys mature a little later than girls. So, from my own experience, as a twelve-year-old boy, I remember that sometimes it only took a good breeze to get my penis excited. At this point, rubbing it against anything wet for just a few seconds, like a bar of soap (or some luger Marquis), would cause me to ejaculate. Why wouldn’t a young girl’s body around this same age react in the same way from this same sort of stimulation to her genitals?

After all of this, Christel said nothing as her younger, still naked daughter apparently came running back down the hallway again. I mistakenly sat back down, thinking the three of them were done having their fun trying to embarrass me.

I had just started to relax, when a moment later I felt the younger daughter jumped back on to my lap. in the same way She wrapped her arms and legs around my neck and waist and once again began sliding her naked butt back and forth across my partial erection, which I have no doubt by now she could easily feel rubbing against her fully exposed didi…which must have excited her even more.

This time I quickly stood up, preventing her naked bottom from having any further contact with me, as Christel continued to laugh.

When I stood up, I remember feeling ashamed and embarrassed about how my body reacted, so maybe I only imagined they were all staring at my crotch. Obviously I was shocked by what had been happening, and I hadn’t yet processed any of it. But there’s no doubt my body had reacted!

After words, I could tell by their extremely nervous laughter that both of the girls were sexually aroused by the experience, even if the younger one didn’t understand why.

PART FIVE:
This entire “game” is a typical form of classical “grooming”, of a child. The adult begins by getting them to “play a game”, with the intent of getting them aroused, or at least curious about, and desirable for, this strange sexual sensation. By getting the child to laugh while it’s happening, the young or inexperienced person is more likely to feel comfortable and more easily give into the feeling and continue to “play the game”.

Between adults, this is part of the normal seduction process, but when an adult does it to a child, even if they use someone else as the vehicle or instrument, it can be considered criminal. And don’t assume the adult who arranged the “game” will be the one held accountable, especially when it’s the “hot mom” doing it!

So as a warning to any blind man who is dating a woman with female children, I graduated college with honors in pre-law, yet I was still too dumb at the time to realize what was happening even though I was right there when it was happening. So don’t be a dumb ass like me!

I was stupid enough to completely trust and believe their mother knew, and assumed all mothers instinctively knew, what was and was not appropriate behavior for sexually-curious girls this young when any man was around. But maybe she did know, and wanted to have something she could use against me, if necessary. After being accused, I learned that there were at least six other men that Christel had accused of some sort of sexual abuse.

Obviously, young girls will very likely try to imitate their mother’s behavior, good or bad, and maybe that’s what made this relationship an unnegotiable dilemma from the beginning, even if I never figured it out until it was over. Every woman I ever dated who had a daughter was always protective of them whenever any grown man was around, so living with this family of frisky females, as a blind man, was quite a shock, as you can imagine.

Even before we met, I know the girls were being groomed in one way or another by most of the adults around them to obsess over their “didis”, in a way that I know now was not either healthy or appropriate. No one can ever say our dinner conversations were exactly what you might call normal, but what is “normal” in the wild west isn’t the same as most of the places where I’ve lived–

Perhaps this one conversation about young French girls Christel and I once had late one night may be the best example of her thought process around sex and her girls. This incident is another example of how Christel would often share with me, and probably many of her male partners, information about her own girls, or young girls’ in general, and their vaginas, and their ability and desire to have sex.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, talking about penises, vaginas, and all the different ways of having sex, was one of Christel’s favorite topics when we were alone, especially if she was drinking a little wine.

Intentionally or not, I now know Christel was also grooming me. I believe she was grooming me to feel comfortable with, and desirable for, having sex with her older daughter.

And who knows, maybe it came from guilt she felt over having these other secret sexual relationships. Since she knew her daughter was sexually active already maybe a part of her just wanted me to be happy too, and may have been willing to look the other way if that’s what me and her daughter both wanted to do?

And besides, she thinks what power she would have over me to do what ever she wanted if she could only get me to penetrate her daughter’s young vagina once, even if it was only the tip of my finger, or maybe something else. She knows once the fingertip or anything else passes through the opening of her daughter’s vagina, it would be enough to send me to prison for a long, long time.

Maybe she says, “I know what you did today with her while I was gone, and I’m willing to keep this between the three of us. We’ll think of it as a ‘family problem’,” she says. “But there’s going to be some new rules around here, and from now on, we girls get to decide everything that happens and doesn’t happen. here’s the first rule, you will never again be allowed to ever question my extra-sexual relationships. From now on, I’ll be with anyone I want, any time I want.”

You see, I know this part is true. Both Christel’s daughters know their mother was cheating on me all the time. They know I gave their mother an expensive diamond engagement ring and was obviously, very in love with her. They knew I brought her flowers all the time, and sometimes surprised her by leaving them on her door step when she lived in Springfield.

But the girls also knew I had my suspicions and would sometimes question them about their mom’s strange and inconsistent explanations about where she had been. Perhaps, the girls were worried about how I might react if I found out all three of them had been keeping this secret.

So maybe Christel tells her exactly where she’s going — she’s going out to see another man. She tells her daughter she’s going to leave her alone with me for the whole day, like they talked about. Before she leaves, Christel says in their special code that I’m a “gentle man”, but maybe what she’s really telling her daughter, is that I’m a ‘gentle lover’, if her daughter’s interested.

She says, “I know you’re now a young woman, so it’s up to you to decide what you do with your own body and who you do it with. Don thinks your sick, so he agreed to stay home with you so I wouldn’t have to miss school.” They both smile.

“I promise, I won’t be back before three, so there’s nothing to worry about, nobody will be checking in on you guys’, but call me if you need anything.”
As promised, her mom didn’t return that afternoon until almost four o’clock.

And maybe that’s why Christel picked out a back scratcher for her daughter to give to me that year for Christmas; maybe to let me know that her daughter is willing to scratch my back, if I agree to scratch hers (and stop worrying about what her mom’s up to, while she’s away, all day)?

So, knowing her mom is off cheating on me, the older daughter begins to think about it. She’s thinking to herself, if she could get me to join in on any of these games they like to play, even just a little, I would no longer have any right (or perhaps, any good reason) to get angry at their mother for cheating.

Maybe she thinks, if everyone’s cheating on everyone, then who cares?

Very likely, the older daughter is feeling some guilt about not telling me what she knows about what her mother’s been doing with Rick and these other men, because she knows I’ve been completely faithful to her mother.

So when her mom leaves, she’s thinking about playing this “adult game”. So she pretends to be sick so she can stay home with me, but she hasn’t decided exactly how far she would be willing to go.

She thinks, if she can get me to go along, after today nobody will have any right to complain about anything. And nobody gets hurt any more. This way, she thinks to herself, she gets to be the ‘peace maker’ for the adults, which is every kid’s desire.

Other than sometimes around her younger sister, I would describe the older one as almost always being a sensitive and compassionate person toward others. So keeping a secret like this for her mother must have been causing both her and her sister a lot of emotional distress.

So maybe in her young mind, knowing how much I love to make love to her mother, just like Beverly Marsh, she’s gonna do what she can to try to make everyone feel better; she’s gonna do her part to make everyone happy!

Maybe a seed had been carefully planted in the older daughter’s mind by her mom or Rick, or her dad, that if she went along and actually did it with her mom’s new boyfriend, there wouldn’t be any more arguments about her lying to me about her still seeing Rick. And this way, everything would be better for everybody–

And maybe she thinks, because of her grooming and experience, it’s not like she has to wash the dishes or something horrible like that! And she likes sex, she already knows.

So maybe she starts thinking about how she might go about it, as her mom is getting ready for “school…

maybe she imagines sitting in the tub with me…where she’s sitting on my lap, again. And she thinks to herself, this time it won’t be so easy for me to pull her off my lap!

Maybe she also thinks, “With no one else watching us, I may not want to–”

Make no mistake, guilt is a powerful motivator, especially for young people. The secrecy around sexual abuse, especially for kids, is almost completely based on the kids feeling guilty about it.

So let me be clear about this. I don’t blame either of her daughters for anything, but the fact is on several occasions the older daughter did behave as though she, or her body, wanted to have some sort of physical contact with me. And it became obvious that both of the girls were very interested in their own sexuality, and weren’t ashamed of it. And under different circumstances, and with one or more healthy biological parents readily available to them, this probably wouldn’t be a big problem.

Except, if this was what was happening, there are two big problems with this arrangement:

First, the older daughter was way too young to know what she really wanted, sexually, even if both her mother and father had been grooming her to feel comfortable for many years about expressing her own sexuality with anyone she wanted to share it with–

Here’s the second problem. Even if I did agree to go along with any of these “great opportunities” to have some sort of secret sexual relationship with the older daughter (and I never did, willingly or knowingly), it would only make me a worse cheat then Christel.

And maybe Christel knew this, so maybe she was willing to leave her alone with me and let (or maybe even encourage) it happen once (and sacrifice her daughter’s virtue), if it gave her the power she needed to excuse her own bad behavior.

You see if I went along with “the game”, unlike her, I would be cheating on her with a child! And all her affairs (with adult men) would be irrelevant, in the eyes of the law.

So maybe she figured she just needed to leave me alone with her sexually-curious, over-friendly daughter to get me to take the ” bait” she was offering…

As I said earlier, when the older daughter jumped on my lap that afternoon while I was sitting on the couch I discovered to my surprise she had already developed the same sort of round bottom any mature, petite woman would have, and may have only been days away from having her first period. There’s no way her mother wasn’t aware of this.

And maybe that’s why she decided that fall, and definitely by the following spring, that her daughter was old enough to serve as a surrogate for her and have sexual intercourse with me if she wanted to. And that’s how it seemed–

Even if she didn’t have breast yet, Christel should have (and I believe did) notice that her older daughter had already begun filling out below the waist. And I suppose there are other people who know for a fact, besides Christel, that her older daughter had also begun growing pubic hair by the fall of 2001 when she started school in Beaverton, and got naked and climbed on my lap.

So, if Christel knew her older daughter had been experimenting, sexually, and may have told her that she liked it, it may explain why Christel would let her older, sexually-experienced daughter fool around with me, even though I was a grown man; it might explain why Christel might be willing to let her do anything sexual she wanted to do with me, as long as she wasn’t being forced by anyone else to do it.

It’s possible that her mother knew the older daughter may have already had as much sexual experience as a lot of fourteen or fifteen-year-old American girls, before she may have tried to do this with me.

As I said, she didn’t seem to be afraid, or in any sort of pain or discomfort when it was happening, only giddy and excited…then suddenly, about forty-five seconds later, clingy and out of breath–

For females, in one way one’s past experience really does matter. Putting on my science hat, and briefly speaking from a strictly physical analysis, every time a female has intercourse her vagina is being trained to respond to the feel of the penis entering her, by first opening wide and then closing around it, like a glove.

From this point forward each time she is entered her vagina will instinctively open wider and become moist even quicker. And if she is anxiously thinking about it before hand, while she’s taking off her clothes, this same physical reaction will likely begin to occur well before she has ever been touched, making penetration of her vagina faster and more possible.

Based on my own personal experience, when I was almost fifteen I remember having my first real sexual relationship with a pretty neighbor girl with long strawberry blond hair who was a little more than a year older than Christel’s daughter, around twelve when we first met.

About a year later, our relationship began. The first couple times we had sex, after she turned thirteen, I remember we agreed to only put the tip of my penis part way inside of her since in the beginning it caused her a little discomfort.

As I understand sometimes happens, she never did bleed that first or any other time, although I’m pretty sure she was still a virgin when we began seeing each other.

However, after having intercourse a few more times, there was no longer any physical or emotional barrier preventing me from pushing myself deep inside, a feeling which I know she soon began to really, really love, which is normal. I can still remember, with each thrust she would make these soft sweet moans. So, despite her young age, after a short time of being sexually active she told me how much she liked it, not with words, but instead, by how quickly she became wet and by the way she began to open her body to me when I first entered her.

Regrettably, our relationship only lasted about a year or so when she became interested in one of my friends (who was a better guitar player, back then).

She was the third girl I had ever been intimate with- Earlier that year I had a brief relationship with a girl from the blind school who once dated my older brother. But my first time was pretty crazy, so maybe this is a good place to share it–

The previous winter my sister’s boyfriend at the time invited me to crash at his house, since we both played guitars and sometimes sang together when he came over to visit my sister.

His dad worked nights, so one night after his mom went to sleep he took me to his younger sister’s room, who was barely thirteen-years-old herself, and told me she was experienced. I realized later that this meant that she was on the pill, although I didn’t have a clue what he meant at the time.

He said he would be back in awhile and left me alone with her. But who knows, maybe he felt sorry for his girlfriend’s “four-eyed” brother (who was still a virgin at fifteen) and wanted to hook me up. And maybe talked his sister into it, who agreed, and maybe she tells him, “Okay, it sounds like fun!”

Or maybe he just needed an excuse to sneak out and hook up with my sister at the gravel pit again? Who knows? Who cares!

When he brought me into her room, I noticed right away his sister was laying on the bed, under the blanket. As soon as her brother left, she invited me to join her. So I took off my shoes and lay down.

The first time she grabbed my hand and pulled it under the blanket, I was startled and jerked it back, thinking it must have been a mistake…although when I briefly touched her skin I realized she wasn’t wearing clothes.

The second time she did it a couple minutes later, I knew it wasn’t a mistake, and so we did it twice (my first time) before her brother came back to get me.

Despite my clumsiness, I’ll always remember how sweet she was to me, as I stumbled my way through her secret garden, in search of something…I’ll never forget.

So back to the story about the young French girls and their vaginas. I don’t remember what Christel said they were called, but one night she excitedly began telling me about how the French would give their young daughters a special kit. She didn’t actually say whether or not she had given each of her daughters one of these kits…and I never asked, but she seemed to want to give me the impression that she had.

Apparently, according to Christel, these kits are given to girls at around five or six-years-old. She explained, the kits consist of a number of tubes that vary in size. The young girls are instructed to insert them into the opening of their vaginas when they go to bed.

As the girl grows she is instructed to increase the size of the tube she inserts. Christel said, this is done to get French females to become comfortable with, and desirable for, the feel of having a man’s penis inside of them.

There were probably dozens and dozens of opportunities where I could have done almost anything I wanted to either of the girls, and its possible that nobody, not even the girls, would have discouraged me! Apparently, as long as Christel could watch (and take some pics), she was okay with the girls getting naked and “fooling around” with me.

All I ever did was to try to not take the never ending drama and daily nuttiness too serious, and try to fit in…apparently, like Rick did.

So to wrap up this chapter, let’s go back to the Marley letter one last time, and try to imagine what Christel may have been thinking when she decided to tell him some, but not all, of what was going on that night the three of us were in bed together, either naked or almost naked.

After all, Christel was telling the truth about this incident in her letter, but not the whole truth. I was completely naked and did become aroused again after she unexpectedly brought her daughter into the bed with us and began touching me. But maybe someone can explain this to me, but I can’t understand why neither Detective Marley or Detective Oaes didn’t want to ask me any questions when they came over to allegedly “talk”. This is exactly why I will, and you should, never speak to any cops without your own lawyer. And god help you if you can’t afford your own lawyer!

Along with my fake lawyer, Gregory Sholl, and a few of the judges friends, I think these cops are the real criminals we ought to be locking up, not some dumb blind guy with a deeply troubled spouse, who obviously needed some real professional help (Instead of a bunch of powerful horn dogs trying to get in to her panties and raise their percentage!).

So, let’s say while were in bed with her older daughter, in one of her crazy sex games, and this is probably closest to the plan she had in mind: Christel gets me to ejaculate on her butt, as I almost did. After we fall asleep then she begins to wipe it on her daughter, partly hoping she will become pregnant.

Then later that night, she wakes her daughter up and takes her back into her own bed, and covers her up.

Then she goes into her daughter’s room early the next morning to say good morning, as she usually did. She notices that there’s something sticky on her daughter and notices her daughter is completely naked, and suddenly with “shock” realizes what the sticky substance is, and calls the police.

Her daughter has no idea what happened and doesn’t remember removing her clothes, which are scattered on the floor next to her.

“the daughter appears to have been sexually assaulted by the boyfriend while she was sleeping,” so the police tell the anxious media.

Given all of this, the only reasonable explanation I can figure is that Christel would have included part of what happened in the bedroom, but didn’t mention the afternoon on the couch, in her letter to Beaverton Detective Dennis Marley is that she may have been up to something that night. and she was afraid she would be caught if she didn’t tell her version first.

This is why I suspect that her oldest daughter knows something more about why her mother brought her into our bed, knowing I was naked and already partially aroused.

Did her daughters ever see me,. or any other male, completely naked? Were they ever manipulated or encouraged into doing anything inappropriate, like the way they may have been tricked into getting naked and giving me an erotic lap dance, while their mom watched?

Did Christel ever tell either of them to watch us having sex, or encourage either of them to ever do anything inappropriate like that, with me, or anybody else?

Was that night in bed, when I was touched, perhaps another quick lesson in human sexuality? As I said, it wouldn’t be the only time Christel used someone else for a quick thrill…and then lied about it–

***************************

{Before reading this letter addressed to the Sheriff of Douglas County about the shooting at Umpqua Community College, that left eight innocent students dead, let me add a couple more facts.

About two weeks before I was falsely arrested in 2007 by Clackamas County to prevent me from appearing at my custody trial, U.S. Senator Ron Wyden appeared on KEX Radio with Mark Mason and Dave Anderson. During the interview, Wyden said Meg Whitman came into his office that week and had asked him a favor.

Whitman was the CEO of E-Bay and a billionaire Republican from California. Despite this, neither Mason or Anderson bothered to ask Wyden what the favor was? Your typical corporate-controlled American pressitutes…

However, as I describe above, both my wife’s lover (Chris Rascon) and his ex-wife (Libby Rascon) were good friends of Whitman, and I believe they conspired with the current Governor, Senator Wyden and Clackamas County to prevent me from putting the Rascons on the stand, which would have embarrassed Whitman, who sold her stock in E-Bay for one billion dollars one year later.

My wife married Chris Rascon one week after she arranged (with the help of Senator Wyden and the Governor) to have me arrested on an alleged PV. Specifically, because I planned to disclose that Libby Rascon told me that Chris Rascon had broke her wrist shortly after she confronted him about having affairs with both my wife and my mother-in-law.

Apparently Chris Rascon had an extra apartment that Libby didn’t know about. A private love nest that required a code to get in to…and she didn’t have the code–

Make no mistake, I intended to question my wife about what she knew about this secret apartment and some other serious concerns I had about Chris being a safe guardian to our son, along with her affairs with two UCC professors, which was well within my rights, as his biological father.

Because of the Rascon’s direct ties to Meg Whitman and E-Bay, it is very likely that Whitman’s stock would have taken a tumble and lost value [consideration] if I had been allowed to question Christel under oath.

Shortly after Christel moved to Eugene (so she could be with Chris), she brought Abraham back to Portland for a visit. While we were in the bathroom, making love on the floor (while he was watching a movie), Christel told me she was very concerned about the way Chris had been looking at her older daughter while they were doing homework, together.

Thinking back about everything she did to destroy my life, and considering where we were at that moment, and what we were doing, I was absolutely floored by this comment! (no pun intended)

Maybe she knew (and didn’t mind) that there was already something going on between Chris Rascon and her older daughter? By telling me, and maybe a few others, about her suspicions she was once again instinctively planting a seed that could be harvested later, if she needed to prove she had no complicity in helping them “get together”…as she obviously tried to do with her daughter and me–

Upon hearing this, I immediately began to wonder how long and how often was Christel leaving her older daughter alone with Chris?

Were they ever home alone, and did the oldest daughter ever invite him into the bathroom while she was taking a bath?

Truthfully, by this age it would be extremely difficult for almost any man not to think about exploiting her sexual curiosities, and pursue the ultimate prize!

And I suspect it would have felt very different to me if she were fifteen when she unexpectedly did this to me, and I knew she knew what she was doing (and I knew she knew what she wanted). However, when it happened I viewed her as being nothing more than a silly, confused young lady, who had no real idea what she was doing…even if she had already had sexual intercourse with someone before this–

So the instant Christel told me about her suspicions about Chris and her daughter, as I listened to her phony outrage, I felt sick to my stomach…understanding exactly why it was that she picked Chris Rascon over me…

Imagine her surprise over the impossible possibility that her new boyfriend might have wanted to also sleep with this pretty little fifteen-year-old grand daughter, having already had sex with both her mother and grandmother!

So how do you suppose America would feel to learn that E-Bay was founded on the concept of cheating uninformed people out of money, mostly the elderly and disabled, by selling them useless junk?

So, do you suppose exposing these two E-Bay fat cats for being cheaters, thugs, perverts and liars might have given great concern to Meg Whitman, who apparently suddenly needed a quick “favor” from her “good friend”, Senator Wyden (just before I was falsely imprisoned by Clackamas County and taken to Sheriff Craig Roberts’ jail (to prevent me from testifying against Whitman and the E-Bay corporation))…

Given all of this, the families of the victims of the UCC shooting could reasonably argue that these killings could have been prevented. That is, if the two UCC professors described above, who were apparently both having sex with a female student while she was enrolled at UCC, had been exposed during either my original trial in 2005. Or at the very least, they would have been exposed during my 2007 divorce/custody trial, as I think the letter to Sheriff Hanlen of Douglas County below proves:

Donald R. [DR] Wolfe
Portland, OR
(503) 774-3424

October 5, 2015

Sheriff Hanlen
Douglas County Sheriff’s Department
1036 SE Douglas Ave.
Roseburg, OR 97470

Re: Suppressed evidence that may have prevented the Umpqua Community College shooter from targeting his male instructor [on October 1, 2015].

Dear Sheriff Hanlen:

First, let me offer my condolences to you and your entire community over this horrible tragedy. The suggestion by some of your political adversaries that your views over the implementation of excessive gun control legislation was in any way responsible for this incident is not only shameful, but untrue.
In fact, former-Governor Ted Kulongoski and other Democrats from the Portland area may themselves prove to actually have been responsible for these ten deaths. Or at the very least made political decisions which could have otherwise prevented this deliberate act of violence directed against this particular male UCC professor. As my letter describes,the students may have only been collateral damage, and not the shooter’s primary target.

Upon advice from U.S. Senator Jeff Merkley’s office [Joel], given the Senator’s personal loss [Senator Merkley lost a cousin named “Rebecka Karnes], I am writing to you to share some possibly relevant information about my ex-wife’s experience as a female student at UCC. According to her, the sexually-aggressive conduct of UCC male professors toward female students may have been what triggered the shooter to do what he did. And the professor killed last Thursday, may have been one of the two male UCC professors she was involved with, as a student. [Christel told me the professor she and her girls spent the night with in August of 2001 was a man named “Larry” who taught English at Umpqua Community College and may have been the professor targeted by Chris Mercer, “Lawrence Levine”.]

As you would know, his note may include some suggestion as to feeling disrespected or less valuable, as a male student, and a bias by this professor toward female students. If so, then the information described below may be extremely important in your investigation, and how this may have been prevented had my ex-wife’s testimony not been suppressed by the former-governor and others.

Some time after I began a relationship with my ex-wife in 2001, who was from Roseburg, she told me that she had intimate relations with two of her male professors from UCC while she was a student there.

Despite two separate opportunities in 2005 and again in 2007, Governor Kulongoski and others intentionally prevented information about the inappropriate conduct of some male UCC professors toward female students from being publicly disclosed. Had they known before this tragedy occurred, one would think UCC would have made an example of these two professors, and any others, and set up a clear policy about not ever giving preferential treatment to either gender.

I don’t blame my ex-wife for these relationships as a student, since she admitted feeling pressured by the professors and needed to pass these difficult courses, including a “College Math” class. Clearly, these professors had no right to trade high marks to a female student in exchange for sexual favors. My impression would be that she is not the only female student at UCC who has been sexually compromised over this highly unethical, discriminatory practice, which denies most male students the same opportunity to “earn” high marks.

Specifically, on May 17, 2007, I was scheduled to appear at my divorce/custody trial in Eugene, however, Jay Scroggin with Clackamas County Corrections, as directed by Governor Kulongoski, had me arrested on an alleged PV three days before my trial, according to my PO, Art Nagle. Let me ask, does it seem strange that a PO would call a client on Thursday morning, and require that they report the following Monday afternoon to be arrested, knowing that they had a divorce/custody scheduled three days later? I suspect Mr. Scroggin knew that I was feeling a tremendous amount of pressure at the time over the upcoming trial, and would be very likely to do something rash in response to this news? It seems extremely reckless. Of course, I didn’t overreact, as Mr. Scroggin may have hoped, but did in fact report to their office that following Monday as directed. Subsequently, I was shipped around by Clackamas and Marion County deputies for almost two days before ending up in Washington County, where I had originally been placed on probation, making it impossible for me to either attend or delay my divorce/custody trial. As a result, not only did I lose all access to my son, Abraham Wolfe, I was unable to question my wife, under oath, about her affairs with these two UCC professors.

Acting as my own attorney, I intended to present evidence at the trial of my wife’s ongoing affair with at least one of these two professors. In August of 2001, shortly after we became engaged, she and her two girls drove to Roseburg and spent the night with one of these same male instructors. She returned the following day with a U-Haul truck loaded with furniture, which appeared to have been given to her as consideration, much like she said the grades were given to her when she was a UCC student.

Had I been allowed to uncover this information during the trial in 2007, I suspect both of these male teachers would have been fired, and UCC would have likely implemented a strict policy to make sure in the future all students were always treated the same, regardless of their gender.

As far as I know, the shooter’s motives and the written note have not yet been revealed, but if his note suggests that he felt disrespected or devalued as a male student, as compared to how this professor treated female students, then both Governor Kulongoski and Mr. Scroggin are partially responsible for these deaths, in my opinion.

As a man with a disability, I should mention I have a tremendous amount of both fear and resentment toward the police in the Portland area. As you may remember, following the murder of James Chasse by police, 800 officers marched through the streets of Portland with t-shirts publicly announcing their support for the police officer responsible for Chasse’s death. The fact that they did this wile there was a ongoing federal investigation over Chasse’s brutal killing seemed highly unethical, and was definitely extremely threatening to those of us with disabilities. After all, Mr. Chasse’s, who was mentally impaired, only crime was that he had urinated on a building in public.

Despite my mistrust of the police, I would be willing to speak with anyone from your department over the telephone if you feel information about the practice of some UCC male professors of trading sex for grades, would be relevant to having prevented this tragedy from ever occurring. This may be true, since the shooter killed the professor first.

It is absolutely clear both the governor and Mr. Scroggin knew they were interfering in a civil case by having me arrested just prior to the trial. According to my PO, Mr. Scroggin had had many personal conversations over the previous weeks with my wife (Christel Wolfe) and her attorney (Michelle Bo Victor), as well as the ex-wife (Libby Rascon) of her new boyfriend, Chris Rascon. Despite sending me an E mail and calling me three times, Ms. Rascon alleged that I had harassed her by E mailing her the information she had requested, with regards to my divorce. I gave a copy of Ms. Rascon’s original E mail to my PO who showed it to Mr. Scroggin, who had him arrest me anyway. Under Oregon statutes it was a criminal act for both Ted Kulongoski and Jay Scroggin, who was perhaps later rewarded by being promoted to be the Executive Director of the Board of Pardons and Paroles, to interfere in a civil case by preventing me from attending my custody/divorce trial. The result was that I lost my son and the secret about the UCC ‘sex for grades scandal’ remained secret. Perhaps, these nine people would still be alive had the truth been disclosed in 2007 and had UCC been given a chance to discourage this type of discriminatory conduct toward male students, such as the shooter.

Your time is appreciated. Let me know if I can help further.

Best regards,

Donald R. [DR] Wolfe