3 Americas: More Truth Than We Can Handle 05 A Pearl Necklace for Christmas (WARNING: Includes Explicit sexual material, not appropriate for young readers)

(Last updated: December 1, 2021)
3 AMERICAS: More Truth Than We Can Handle
Chapter 05
A Pearl Necklace For Christmas
by DR Wolfe

{As I continue a full revision, this is one of the new chapters from my revised autobiography, “3 Americas: If We Can Handle the Truth”.}

(Includes strong language and explicit descriptions of sex.)

Hearing the sound of someone softly knocking, I stopped typing and went to the door. It was my landlord, Phil.

“There’s a sheriff deputy here that wants to talk to you,” he said, but he didn’t know why.

I was to learn that my wife, Christel, had filed for divorce in Lane County. This would be the third time we, or she, had filed for divorce over the last three years. This definitely meant we wouldn’t be working on the marriage, I thought.

Christel and I got married in the summer of 2002. Ironically, we were married by a Washington County judge, the same county who conspired to destroy my life three years later.

Along with the divorce papers from Lane County, the deputy also gave me a stapled packet of exhibits that Christel had submitted to the Court along with her divorce petition.

With some help, I began sorting through the paperwork. The first thing I discovered was that many of the alphabetically marked exhibits were missing. However, perhaps accidentally, she did include an exhibit which sounded a lot like a written confession, dated two and a half years earlier (October 2004), addressed to Beaverton Detective Dennis Marley.

In one paragraph it described what would seem to be a sex crime knowingly committed by her against her oldest daughter in 2001 while we shared an apartment in Beaverton, Oregon.

Using my scanner and screen reading software, I began reading the letter she sent to this detective in 2004. As I read, I began thinking about the night she was referring to in her letter. It was a very strange night, as I started to recall. It was in the fall of 2001. But it wasn’t the only time things got strange around Christel… But maybe that night was a lot more strange than I ever knew.

This exhibit, a 2004 letter to Detective Marley, was submitted to the Lane County Circuit Court as an attachment to her petition for divorce. Therefore, it was submitted, along with all the other attachments, as being a truthful sworn affidavit. This means it is a permanent public record, unless the courts are lawfully convinced to seal some or all of the records. And this is exactly what my wife’s attorney, Michelle Bo Victor, did in 2007. Which triggered a number of tragedies, as I’ll explain.

In the next two chapters, I describe how my wife’s lawyer and my wife’s new boyfriend, Chris Rascon (and his ex-wife, Libby Rascon), arranged to have Clackamas County and the State of Oregon arrest me three days prior to the trial, in May of 2007.

The evidence suggests her attorney intentionally did this to prevent me from questioning my wife about this particularly revealing letter Christel apparently had sent to the Beaverton Police Department. In this letter she willfully described her own failure to set appropriate boundaries involving her children and her male partners.

Are you wondering, why am I disclosing all of this here?

Because I have twice been denied the opportunity by law enforcement and the courts in Oregon to actually appear in court and confront my accusers or the evidence against me. And as I’ll explain, I was given a lawyer who was only there to serve the interests of the prosecutor, and perhaps, securing his own promotion within the public pretender system.

And finally, because our constitution provides that anyone formally accused of committing a crime or any other sort of wrong-doing, as her hidden letter to the police documents, has a legal right to publicly defend themselves in whatever peaceful manner would best protect them from the implied threat to their life, liberty or property by an allegation such as this. This is a natural law granted to every American under both our state and federal constitutions.

Since I can’t afford a team of lawyers, and I have no guns, my disabilities leave me very few options as to how to best respond to this personal attack questioning my character. So, this time I won’t leave my fate to a government paid lawyer!

As you read my version of what happened that night — finding myself naked in bed with my girlfriend, and my girlfriend’s pre-teenage daughter, who may have also been naked, an having an erection. The facts will speak for themselves as to who was responsible for these circumstances.

Sounds pretty bad for me, doesn’t it? But the devil as they say, is always in the details.

This new evidence, the 2004 mysterious letter to Dennis Marley, strongly suggests that the cops and the prosecutor, Robert W. Herman, were protecting my wife. And they were using her to get to me, and destroy my credibility; Just as they once promised they would do to me, when I raised objections, as an infamous pot smoker, to how Oregon’s peer mentoring program was being run.

Apparently, during the “investigation”, from the very beginning, they only had one goal; they only wanted to discredit me. So they kept Christel and all of the exculpatory evidence out of their “investigation”.

For example, this letter proves she was the one who brought her oldest daughter into the bed with us that night, where we had just been making love.

So what was her true intent that chilli winter night? I always wanted to think it was just a lapse in judgement on her part, and not a personal, up close lesson in sexual practices and techniques designed for her daughter’s education. Unknowingly, or unexpectedly, I participated in several of these up close lessons I feel compelled to talk about now. And I also feel compelled to talk about the history of one of America’s most corrupt states, and the politicians and judges who protect this far-left network of well-organized criminal conspirators, posing as District Attorneys, judges, politicians, and cops.

As I continued to read her letter, I thought to myself, why in hell would she write and sign this confession and send it to a cop? I hadn’t said anything about that strange situation to anyone! In fact, I completely forgot about it, until now. But maybe there was something else going on, that was even more strange than I realized?

And there was a few other equally troubling incidents, as I’ll describe below.

Like earlier that same fall when I was given an erotic lap dance from each of her daughters, who were both completely naked. While their mother sat a few feet away, watching out of the corner of her eye!

Christel was always doing this crazy sex stuff with me, including sometimes while her girls were either watching or being encouraged to participate. You can judge my participation, and my responsibility, but first at least hear my side of it.

While my experience is described in another chapter, being incarcerated for 42 days in the Washington County Jail, here’s why Detective Marley, Bob Hermann and a few important people from Clackamas County didn’t want any of the details in this case to ever go to trial.

Despite what happened to her as a young girl, I always wanted to believe Christel would be okay and grow out of this sort of thrill seeking, vicariously living through her daughters. And I truly hoped we would eventually settle down and become a “normal family”.

But the system isn’t designed to help families heal, that’s obvious. It’s about scoring touchdowns and running up the score on the weaker opponent. Just like Eaton Rapids wrestling coach (and academic counselor), Jack Provencal always did. It’s all about being number one, no matter the cost.

In the fall of 2001, when all of this was going on, we started getting couple counseling at the Templeton House (because of my own initiative to save the relationship). However, when we started talking about our sex life Christel made some excuse for not ever wanting to go back. This is most likely because she didn’t want this couple who had been counseling us, both individually and as a couple, to ever know about these crazy sex games she liked to play. Sometimes involving her girls.

I wondered why she would bring her sexually-curious older daughter into our bed that late fall evening, despite that we had just been having a romantic moment. I do remember feeling disappointed and a little frustrated when I felt her and her daughter climb into the bed.

After this happened, I remember telling Christel something like, ‘I would appreciate it if you would make sure that neither of the girls ever sleep in the bed with us late at night (even if her last boyfriend, Rick, didn’t mind).

When we first started seeing each other, she would complain about Rick’s vast collection of pornography and his “pornography problem” (and his bad teeth).

I realize now that she didn’t mind the pornography as much as she pretended.

I know the girls got to look at a lot of it since I suspect Rick is the one who put some of it on their mom’s computer under a folder called “Sloppy Seconds”, which was located on the desktop, directly below the link to the girls favorite computer game!

I suppose Christel and Rick could always claim it was actually a link to Dr. Hook’s infamous album, with the same name, which included several childhood classics the reader may remember, like “Looking’ For Pussy” and “Get My Rocks Off!”

Except, that’s not what was in this folder.

So, not only did Christel’s girls have easy access to lots of sexually explicit material, as I’ll explain, but all of their friends were able to view it as well. This included the daughter of a Clackamas County Circuit Judge, who may not want it known that he failed to properly supervise his daughter when she visited.

It’s no wonder the girls were both already extremely curious about sex when I first started dating their mom in February of 2001.

I’m going to jump ahead in this story, and you can read all the explicit details below, but I’m going to tell you now exactly why I think Christel needed to get me to do something inappropriate, sexually, with her older daughter.

She did everything, and I do mean almost everything she could to facilitate this relationship, although I didn’t realize it at the time.

Every day Christel was grooming both of us to become interested in pursuing these opportunities (to become sexually involved with each other).

What’s strange is that it seemed so natural for Christel to do this– I suppose she may not have always known that’s what she was doing, trying to make us both aroused by talking about something sexual while we were both in her company.

As I mentioned, both of the girls seemed very interested in their mom’s sex life, and apparently enjoyed secretly watching us make love. Although Christel may have been in on this secret, as I’ll explain.

But this isn’t normal, especially for a ten or eleven-year-old girl.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but usually kids by this age are completely grossed out by the thought of either of their parents ever having any kind of sex life! “YUCK!”

It’s possible that maybe before we met something had been happening at night with Rick and his teenage boys, while the younger daughter was sleeping. And if Christel didn’t do anything to stop it from happening, and had actually encouraged it by getting her older daughter to first take off her clothes in front of Rick and the boys, as she did lots of times with both of them around me, would this be a crime?

I would imagine a part of her must have been very worried about someday being caught, and being prosecuted!

Maybe it was mostly limited to some inappropriate touching, and maybe sometimes letting the girls watch the adults fool around, it would still be a serious sex crime anywhere in America. Surely, Christel had to know this was wrong, and she knew that a jury would find her behavior in allowing this to happen, repulsive?

Let’s say, maybe Christel needed some way out. Maybe her and Rick figured out that they needed some other man to do something even worse with one or both of her girls, at least once to get them off the hook. Maybe that’s how it began, when Christel began stalking me in the fall of 2000, always hanging out at her ex’s, waiting for me to show up.

According to Christel, Rick and her had been regularly dosing her younger daughter with Benadryl at night. So, after the younger one is asleep, there may have been more serious things going on between the other three? Or maybe the oldest daughter and one of Rick’s teenage boys, who often spent the night at Christel’s duplex in Springfield?

So I wonder, when they did this, were they planning to get back together once I was successfully labeled the “villain?” Someone important definitely made absolutely sure that I would never get a chance to face a jury of my peers, or ever once confront the evidence against me in a court of law.

Is this case beginning to sound a little suspicious to you? I hope so. They destroyed my life and stole my kid.

When we first started seeing each other, Rick lived down the street and knew I was coming over and staying the night, but never interrupted us. Even though, the girls told me he was also continuing to see their mom, and staying over one or two nights a week.

Yet he never once showed up while I was there.

Imagine your a guy whose girlfriend says, ‘she wants to see other people’. And she’s still sleeping with the former-boyfriend. Yet, she’s also seeing some blind guy!

Ask yourself, wouldn’t you think most guys would show up unexpectedly at their old fling’s door (at least a few times), to disrupt her perfect new little love nest?

Because of an incident that happened around the 4th of July that year, which I describe below, I know Rick had a key to her door. And could have easily walked in on us any time. but he never did…and every guy out there knows, this is very, very odd behavior for an ex-boyfriend.

How could he not mind me being there? Did he know it was only a temporary arrangement? Was it because he had no other choice, if he wanted to keep himself and maybe one or both of his teenage boys, who were thirteen and fifteen-years-old, out of prison? Was it because of something that had been happening inside the duplex on Lawnridge, late at night involving the older daughter, who may have been only about eight or nine-years-old when this fooling around may have begun, with one or both of the boys?

Which coincidentally is the same age that Christel liked to pretend to be when we played one of her favorite sex games, described below.

Later that summer, in 2001, Christel transferred from the University of Oregon in Eugene to Marylhurst University, southeast of Portland (and forfeited almost an entire year’s worth of credit hours).

Based on what she told me, I understood why she wanted to attend this particular school, but I didn’t understand why she got an apartment in another county (in Beaverton, Oregon), but that’s what she did,

Where coincidentally Rick and a priest she knew well from Eugene had both recently moved.

Did too many of their Springfield neighbors know too much about them, and they were worried that their plan to frame me would likely be exposed? Maybe they figured, if their plan was going to work, they decided they needed some new neighbors who didn’t know anything about their past relationship, before they began encouraging the older daughter to begin “seducing” me? Obviously, she was way to young to understand how she was being manipulated by these adults, who were encouraging this developing ten or eleven-year-old girl to start taking off all of her clothes around me, and then slapping my butt as she ran bye. Then one day, hop on my lap, facing me, and then wrap her arms and legs around me…and not let go until–

The bedroom community of Beaverton and cops like “doofus Marley”, and “Idiot Oaes”, gave them the perfect place to pull this off (and maybe cover up the crimes of the past).

It was the perfect place to make me the “bad guy”, as Marley’s partner Eric Oaes, put it, and destroy my life…and eventually steal my kid!

So when I learned about this letter to Detective Marley, presumably written by her in the fall of 2004, I first began thinking she may have had some other inappropriate intentions that night. That is, given what I know about her unquenchable sexual appetite, her desire to follow her thrills, and her need to explore new things and “break the rules” whenever possible.

As everyone from Marylhurst’s Art Department knows, Christel’s favorite expression (and I don’t think she was only referring to her art work) was, “I want to learn all of the rules, so that I can break them!”

Besides pursuing a serious relationship with a woman with two young daughters and no healthy boundaries, the biggest mistake I ever made since coming to Oregon in 1998 was agreeing to talk to a cop. I made the mistake of letting these two detectives from Beaverton, Marley and Oaes come into my home, and hoping I could make them understand how crazy it was living with someone like this, as a blind guy.

However, after ten or fifteen minutes it became obvious they could care less about hearing anything about the truth, if it conflicted with their version.

Marley did all the talking. Only thing I remember Oaes saying was something about going to see some little kids in Corvallis, Oregon, and teaching them about “bad guys”, which sounded kind of creepy, given the context of our meeting

As I said, these two knuckleheads weren’t interested in learning the truth. Obviously, their sole objective was to entrap me into saying something they might be able to twist in front of a secret grand jury, since there would be no chance to present my side before I would be secretly indicted and arrested (curiously, on the next to last day in December).

That week, I told Christel I would talk to the grand jury, if they wanted to hear my side of the story. I remember, she became nervous and said it wasn’t necessary. I think she had already set it up so that several witnesses would lie. And no one would know? Once I was indicted.

“The rest will be easy,” I suspect Marley told her.

This is what the cops and the State do to anyone they want to “destroy”.

By over charging someone and lying to the grand jury, they could frame anyone. Then by setting the bail high enough ( for me that was $250,000), the state can easily hold an innocent person in jail for a year or two, awaiting trial.

Before I was arrested I told Marley and Bob Hermann in writing in November of 2004 I would never take a plea bargain. Why wouldn’t they arrange for me to stay in my home and give me an ankle bracelet instead?

So, maybe the deal Marley offered Christel included ignoring the book of pornography (and all it’s revealing fingerprints), and stashing her letter of confession far, far away somewhere in the back of a file cabinet where only he could find it (Like Clackamas County did a few years later with the sexual assault complaint filed against a man named Ward Weaver by his son’s teenage girlfriend, before he went on to kill two other teenage girls.).

So maybe when Detective Marley first read Christel’s confession he knew immediately that he should, at the very least, also be filing charges against her. He had to know, by stating that she had knowingly brought her daughter into bed with her naked boyfriend, she had committed a crime. This would be obvious to anyone who had completed Criminal Justice 101. If she was willing to admit to this much, how could Marley have not wondered what else may have been happening, that she isn’t telling him? Especially after finding this explicit book of pornography in the older daughter’s bedroom?

But maybe he was told to keep Christel, her mother, Rick, Frank, the friendly Judge and his campaign manager from Clackamas County, all of her professor friends, a doctor and a sleazy shrink ironically named Tinker(bell), the Ford Foundation, as well as Marylhurst University and the Catholic Church, completely out of his investigation. And that’s exactly what he did…and why I’m telling you about it now.

So, here’s what happened. The reader can decide who to believe.

First, any reasonable person must ask why in the hell would these two detectives drive all the way out to my home in 2004 (located in another county just before Thanksgiving) and not ask me anything about the October 2001 letter Detective Marley just got from Christel. And why wouldn’t these two cops ask me anything about this letter, claiming that I was once completely naked and in bed with my girlfriend’s attractive, young, sexually curious daughter, with a massive erection! Especially since I would have told them that it was all true, as I’ll explain.

Can you imagine the headline had they arrested both of us for this!


So why do you suppose (at the very least) didn’t they arrest both of us, This is because they knew what would eventually happen…once my side of the story was told, as I’ve done here, and a jury learned the whole truth. They knew she would be the one ultimately held responsible by the court for encouraging her daughters to play simulated sex games around her boyfriends, and their kids, while she was coaching them and knowingly exposing them to highly explicit sexual material.

But like most cops and most lawyers who will do or say anything to win a case — to hell with the truth, Marley and the Washington County persecutors were no exception to this rule.

Apparently, neither Olson, Marley or the Washington County Prosecutor, Bob Herman, ever turned this 2004 letter addressed to Marley, and you must agree it was a critical piece of evidence, proving my wife’s own bad behavior, over to my appointed attorney, Public Defender Gregory Scholl.

In a fair legal process, this intentional deception by the police and the prosecutors, hiding such critical exculpatory evidence (which they do to poor people all the time), ought to be enough grounds in a truly fair legal system for the courts to completely dismiss my coerced plea bargain, a deal I made with the devil to get out of Sheriff Rob Gordon’s isolation dungeon.

The sad fact is, across America men with disabilities, like the poor and some other minorities, are often targeted by unscrupulous cops and narrow-minded persecutors, like Bob Hermann and Cy Vance, rather than the actual wrongdoers, for many reasons. It’s all about going after the low hanging fruit rather then climbing to the top of the tree and going after the Wall Street banksters or some former-president, or some prince, which takes a lot more time, energy, and money.

Seeking out the truth also takes some courage, because sometimes you don’t find the answer you expected, or maybe wanted, especially when there’s a political contribution or a hot young lady involved.

Christel’s withheld written confession and a book of explicit pornography she shared with her girls, clearly document her role as the primary instigator in this case. For example, had the Beaverton detectives taken this book into custody when they found it in the bedroom of the oldest daughter, they would have discovered that all three of the children’s fingerprints were all over the book. If the police had tested the book, after interviewing me about the children’s access to pornography, they would have found the fingerprints of several other children, including, as I said, the fingerprints of the daughter of a Clackamas County Circuit Judge, who had befriended my wife that fall.

In addition, legally speaking, the evidence would prove beyond any doubt that Christel’s words and actions were instrumental in creating a sexually charged environment around her children and her male partners. And her complete immunity from having any responsibility in any of this, while charging me with a Measure 11 offense (a mandatory minimum of 6.5 years in prison) for having allegedly once touched the oldest daughter’s breast in a sexual manner was both selective and discriminatory. Yet another example of police corruption and prosecutorial misconduct throughout Oregon and America.

My treatment clearly documents a clear pattern and practice of an ongoing abuse of power among the lawyers working under the authority of the Washington County District Attorney.

Despite overwhelming evidence of a practice of systemic discrimination against people with disabilities and other indigent defendants by this county’s jail and prosecutors, the State BAR and the legislature do nothing!

So for a moment imagine your a cop, but not just any rookie cop, but rather an experienced detective with all sorts of investigative tools and skills at your fingertips. And you get a letter from this thirty-four-year-old, sexy white mom which includes a short paragraph describing how a few years earlier she had brought her pre-pubescent, barely eleven-year-old daughter into the bed with her naked boyfriend, who she claims became aroused only after the little girl climbs into the bed. and ask yourself, wouldn’t you ask at least a couple more questions about this to both the boyfriend and the mom?

After all, it would be a good excuse to go see the hot mom during the day, while the two older kids were away.

Was this normal for you and the boyfriend to do this, I mean bring the little girl into the bed with you two at night?

You say here in your letter you knew he was naked? Is that right?

And, if I can be personal for a minute, exactly what were you wearing before you brought the little girl into the bed with your naked boyfriend?

And you say here, you got out of the bed when she knocked, and instead of going into the little girl’s bedroom with her like you usually do? Instead you brought her into your bed with you and the naked boyfriend? did I get this part right?

And your also saying he didn’t become aroused at all, laying there with you dressed like that with no panties, until after you brought the little girl into the bed with you and him? Do I got all of this right?

But in all honesty, I’m sure no detective, and so maybe there’s some sort of long-term strategy in not asking these sort of hard questions, after reading a signed confession like this… Like maybe getting into the “good graces” with the young, hot mom, and who knows, maybe hooking up later when the case is over? That might explain why Marley put the book of pornography back down on my oldest step-daughter’s shelf that lazy fall afternoon (purchased by Christel with the $200 ,000 she got from the Ford Foundation just before we met).

Did Detective Marley offer the lady a deal she couldn’t refuse?

I had been in bed for about an hour before Christel came into the bedroom. I was completely naked, as usual.

She liked to stay up late and work on her art. And then, when she did come to bed she liked to discover me that way, warm and naked under the blanket, waiting for her.

She would quickly slip into her nightie and slide under the covers. Then she would tightly wrap her arms around me, as though I were a life preserver waiting to rescue her from the cold, raging world. At those special moments, it seemed like everything between us was perfect!

That night, when I heard her open the door I didn’t say a word, I just laid there and listened. First, I heard her slip off her clothes and toss them into the corner. Then I imagined her slipping into her short nightie, with nothing underneath. As she usually did.

Then I heard her sit down at the desk and begin brushing her hair. I listened as she slowly pull the brush down through it and thought about How much i loved to run my fingers through this amazingly soft, long beautiful hair while we made love.

Facing her desk, I waited patiently under the blanket. And it was just a few minutes later when she slid her slender body into the bed next to me.

As I Turned toward her, we slid our arms around each other and began to kiss.

While I can’t remember exactly everything we were doing before it happened, or exactly how we were wrapped together, but I do remember for sure she wasn’t wearing any panties. This meant she was available if I was interested. And I was almost always interested in making love to her.

As I continued reading her letter, I thought more about what we had been doing that night. As I began to remember it, I recall we were going to make love, but she said or did something to let me know she wasn’t quite ready.

We had an understanding about making love. She always knew it was okay to let me know when she wanted or needed more time, or wanted to change positions, since she knew I really enjoyed helping her get ready, if that’s what she wanted.

It had only been about ten or fifteen minutes or so since she came to bed and I wasn’t usually in any hurry since there was never a doubt what was going to eventually happen. She knew that even if it was going to be a quickie, it probably wasn’t going to be the last time that night I would want to pleasure her. She knew, I only needed a little encouragement.

As I remember, I settled in next to her, and began to use my fingers to please her gently, the way she liked, when a hurried, anxious knock came from the bedroom door.

Faster than lightening, Christel quickly pulled away from me and rushed to the door, almost as though she were expecting it. It was her older daughter, who I heard saying through the door, “Mommy”.

Startled by the way Christel had jumped out of the bed to answer the door, I hurriedly wrapped the blanket around me, and curled up into a ball, pretending to be asleep. I didn’t think much about it at the time, thinking she would get rid of her daughter just as quickly.

I heard her open the door. Maybe they said something to each other, but I didn’t hear what they said. I did hear the door close pretty quickly, and disappointedly figured Christel took her daughter back into the girls room to lay down for a while, like she always did when they came to the door.

Sometimes she would get them something to eat or drink, and then send them back to bed without her. And maybe that’s why Dennis Marley never asked me about her letter, since the very moment Christel made the conscious decision to do what she did next, and then closed the door behind her, as she did, she had very likely knowingly committed a serious felony, as I’ll explain.

And maybe Detective Marley knew this, or suspected it after reading her letter, and intentionally hid her letter to protect her?

So instead of going back into the girl’s room, a moment later, I felt both of their bodies fall into the bed next to me. And because of what we were doing (about twenty or thirty seconds earlier), in truth, I still had a noticeable erection!

I was laying on my right side, facing Christel, who was now facing away from me, toward her daughter. A few moments later Christel slid closer to me and moved her body up against mine. I felt her bottom push up against my erect penis, and obviously she noticed I was still aroused.

Since getting into bed, Christel and her daughter only said a few words to each other, and I said nothing. But I could tell her daughter was only a few inches away from her mother, facing her.

It didn’t occur to me at the time, but since getting her letter to Marley I have wondered why Christel didn’t grab part of the blanket and cover herself that night since she was wearing almost nothing. She could have easily covered the two of them, if she wanted. It was kind of chilly, around November or early December I think. And it was a large blanket that would have easily covered all three of us and the entire queen size bed with some blanket to spare.

As we lay there, mine and Christel’s bodies naturally squeezed together, even tighter, like a shiny magnet and solid steel. It was nice, considering how disappointed I had felt a few moments earlier when I heard the knock.

I remember feeling her round butt pressing up against me. Not surprisingly, I felt stimulated again, since I was still aroused from what we had been doing a few minutes earlier, and the sensation of her whole body leaning against me was an instant reminder.

Then I felt her wiggle her butt, just a little, but it was enough to let me know she still wanted me… It was a disturbing moment for many reasons, I recall. Part of me thought we were having this secret, intimate moment between us, just waiting for her daughter to hurry up and fall asleep and then be ushered by her mom back to her own bedroom. Hopefully with no complaint or delay.

On the other hand, I was wondering what Christel was doing by bringing her daughter into the bed with me since I wasn’t wearing clothes, even if she thought it was only for a few minutes.

Why at the very least didn’t she leave the door open? Was she concerned that her younger daughter might hear something?

And this is all what really made what she said in the Marley letter so infuriating! Christel, and probably Marley too, knew I was aroused long before her daughter came to the door. Yet in this letter she infers to Detective Marley that I had not become aroused until after she brought her daughter into the bed with us,

It was odd, because Christel had never brought either of her girls into our bed late at night while I was sleeping. She admitted that she knew I was already naked when she did it? She knew I always slept naked, and she had to know this would eventually come out, if the jury was to read her letter about me becoming aroused by her oldest daughter.

The important question now is probably who else saw this 2004 letter before I got a copy in 2007?

The history of the wire-bound book of pornography that Detective Marley didn’t take into evidence is as follows:
The book was first shown to the girls in the winter or early spring of 2001. I believe she began sharing it with them shortly after Christel bought it from the University of Oregon Book Store with the money she got from the Ford Foundation.

It was usually left out in the living room on a book shelf where I found it sitting many times, while she was living in Springfield, Beaverton and West Linn. Any one could pick it up and look through it.

I can’t say the pornography book had anything to do with this, but about a couple months after the girls started looking at the book, a woman who lived across the street on Lawnridge, in Springfield, came over and tried to tell Christel her five-year-old daughter was running up and down the street, naked.

I don’t remember exactly what the neighbor said, but I remember that Christel began screaming something at the woman like, ‘WHY DON’T YOU MIND YOUR OWN god damn BUSINESS!’

The following fall The youngest daughter’s teacher in Beaverton asked Christel to come in and talk to her about some incidents involving her daughter acting out inappropriately in a sexual manner. When I tried to asked Christel about what happened at the meeting she became agitated, so I let it drop.

And a year later, we began taking the youngest daughter to the Morrison Children’s Center in southeast Portland, as I insisted, because she had made several threats to kill her younger brother, Abraham, including once having described her plans to drown him.

the younger daughter may have been also effected by the explicit material, and was acting out in her own way.

Christel told me while they were living in West Linn she caught the older daughter and a friend of hers one day sending out naked, explicit pics of each other, posing both together and separately…

this may have something to do with the older daughter being arrested in the fall of 2005 for assaulting her mother with a cell phone in the presence of her younger sister and brother. Having her two younger siblings present when it happened automatically made the assault an aggravated felony.

As usual, Christel’s new “good friend”, Judge van Dyk came to the rescue and sent a handwritten note to the lady judge who was handling the case, asking her for leniency.

However, by interfering in the legal process, as he did in my case in 2004 by apparently tampering with the investigation, we must ask did he once again prevent a deeper investigation from taking place into this troubled young girl’s family life…and Christel’s own bad behavior?

Isn’t this what we call in a civilized society a clear abuse of power? By doing this, was this Governor Kitzhaber appointed, circuit judge trying to protect himself and any secrets the older daughter knew, and may disclose, about the nature of his relationship with my wife, and perhaps, his own adopted daughter?

Would he have dared to send a hand-written note if the assault case were assigned to a male circuit judge? Probably not. So doesn’t this lack of respect for the sovereignty of a female judge suggest that he may have also been using his position on Clackamas County’s Domestic Violence Task Force to target the partners of women claiming to be abused, in exchange for sexual favors?

Women have always been the pawns of most men. Although today the game is different, and it’s mostly powerful men and attractive women who play this game.

This wasn’t always true, and most attractive women didn’t have this kind of power. For example, it was not so long ago whenever a woman was unable to bare a child for her husband, and half the time it was because of the man’s low sperm count, the woman was very often accused of witchcraft and sentenced to death. This way the man was able to take a new wife who could produce children (often by secretly sleeping with a neighbor or friend. rather than risk not getting pregnant and being burned alive).

Today this relationship between rich men and attractive women is more conspiratorial, and cooperative. As a result, poor men are the real victims of this arrangement, as the reader will learn.

I strongly suspect that Judge Douglas van Dyk and his friends, former-Governors John Kitzhaber and Ted Kulongoski, along with Jewish government lawyer, Marc Abrams, have likely interfered in dozens, if not hundreds, of other civil and criminal cases involving poor men. This unspoken corruption in Oregon’s government exists everywhere, and thanks to the media, has become part of our American political climate.

Anyone who reads my version of the facts will understand how the “Goon Machine of Oregoonia” pre-determined the outcome, and knowingly destroyed my life to protect Christel and themselves.

Along with Kitzhaber’s friend, Judge Douglas Victor van Dyk, in the next chapter I wrote about another disturbing incident involving a future-circuit judge on the Clackamas County Court I once met, named Bob Herd. But there are a lot of odd things about this particular county court, and their private sex lives, that are worth investigating.

For example, in February of 2010 one of the court’s assigned law enforcement staff, Sergeant Jeff Grahn, drove to Greshum and killed his wife, Charlotte. And then for no apparent reason went back into the bar and killed two of her friends, Kathleen Hoffmeister and Victoria Schulmerich, and then killed himself.

What makes this case even more suspicious than the simple question, why did he also kill his wife’s two friends, is that Sergeant Grahn did not use his own service revolver to do the killing.

Was the other gun a ‘drop gun’? When he left for the bar, was his first plan to surprise Charlotte outside and kill her (and maybe her friends too) with this other gun and then throw the gun in the bushes, making it appear like a robbery gone bad?

Or maybe, when Jeff Grahn gets to the bar he tries to get Charlie to take a ride with him. Then unexpectedly, he puts the gun in her hand and pulls the trigger before she can react!

Then he claims he has no idea where she got the gun, she just pulled it out and shot herself, he says. Even if it’s his extra gun, Maybe then he claims she stole it from his dresser, which all sounds fairly reasonable…except to Charlotte’s closest friends, who knew about Jeff’s temper and previous threats to kill her…and his powerful friends on the Clackamas County Court who would make sure he got away with it.

Did anyone else hear him that night trying to get her to take a ride with him? We know he was able to get her to come outside the bar with him to talk. Maybe when he realized that his first plan wasn’t going to work, to make it look like a suicide, he decided to shoot her anyway.

But why did he kill her there, in front of everyone? What was the urgency? Surely he knew he would have a better opportunity than this to kill her and maybe get away with it.

However, we can assume Before he pulled the trigger he knew there was no possibility of getting away with it. Clearly he knew that if he just pulled out the gun and started shooting everyone would know. But that’s exactly what he did!

Grahn had filed for divorce a few months earlier, and Mrs. Grahn did not file an answer. This meant he had already won an automatic judgement against her and got everything he wanted…but killed her anyway. Does this make any sense, unless there was something else? Grahn was described by many who worked with him as being kind of a “control freak” and a “hard ass”.

Did he kill her because Charlie knew some secret about what may have been going on at the Clackamas County Court house?

A man named Douglas Adamson once told me about “some important people from Clackamas County” who were involved in sex trafficking children six months prior to the grewsome murder of a man by the same name. Here’s the strange story.

About ten years ago this guy, who said his name was Douglas Adamson, saw me searching for a bus stop along 82nd Avenue in a heavy rain storm and offered me a ride home. When we got to my house on 76th, I showed him my medical marijuana garden and we smoked a massive joint.

As we’re smoking, he starts telling me about how he had been providing “very young girls to a lot of important people from down there in Clackamas County”, if I was interested. I laughed it off, and figured he was just jerking my chain.

After that, I called him a couple times about helping me haul some stuff, and left a message at his brother Phil’s house, has he advised me to do if I ever needed a ride. I never did hear back so I gave up on him about helping me haul the junk away.

Then a few months later he calls me at around one in the morning. He asks me in a very suggestive voice if I want any “company”, and he hands the phone to someone else, and I hear this extremely young sounding girl giggling in the background. and then she says “Hello”. When Doug took the phone back, I told him something like ‘Hey Doug, fuck off’ and hung up. This time, I really never did hear from him, ever again.

About six months later I heard Rebecca Marshall on the news describing how this guy also named “Douglas Adamson’s” truck was found abandon on the 205, and how they found parts of his chopped up body washed up on the beach in Vancouver, Washington. Obviously, it made me wonder if it was the same guy I met.

And I’ve always wondered who in the world could have ever gotten this guy to pull over his truck on the highway, like that, and just abandon it…other than maybe a cop? The article, or the comments, I read in the paper said he still had gas in the truck, and that there was nothing wrong with the truck…other than that his truck had been abandon along the highway, for no apparent reason.

Not to sound to paranoid, but I wonder if he was recruited by one of my ex-wife’s friends to try to set me up with this young girl, similar to what Christel seemed to be trying to do with me and her older daughter?

And did Christel’s friends from Clackamas County kill Douglas Adamson to keep it secret, like the unexplained killings of Charlotte Grahn’s two friends?

Did Douglas Adamson become a threat to them because I didn’t take the bait that night and agree to the generous offer to bring this young, excited girl into my bed?

So back to the Grahn killing, and the important question, why did he murder his wives friends. Spouses kill spouses all the time, so it’s tragic. But why did he also need to kill both of her friends?

And specifically, what were they talking about when it happened? Obviously, they had to be talking about Charlotte’s divorce?

Did he once tell Charlotte something in a state of drunkenness that he regretted? Did he happen to mention something that involved a couple of the corrupt county judges and correction officers from Oregon City that I know a little something about? Was he worried that Charlotte had already told her friends about it?

Can you think of any reasonable explanation to explain why Jeff Grahn felt he had to also kill both of his wife’s girlfriends before he shoots himself? He would soon be dead, why would he want to make the situation for his surviving children so much worse, leaving this awful legacy behind?

Maybe one could find some explanation as to why one spouse would feel they needed to kill the other, but the way he went back into the bar and hunted the two girlfriends down, and then killed them, is very troubling. What secret could have been so damn important, so damaging, so damn threatening, to cause so much bloodshed?

But strangely enough, the murder of all three women by a Clackamas County police officer may actually be tied to the murder of two young Oregon City girls. That is, Charlotte Grahn’s murder may have something to do with the cover up of the murders of two thirteen-year-old girls, named Ashley Pond and Miranda Gaddis. Here’s why.

When they “lost” the sexual assault complaint, was law enforcement waiting for Ward Weaver to kill his son’s girlfriend before arresting him, when instead, he killed first the Pond girl, and then killed the Gaddis girl? Here are some of the suspicious facts surrounding this Clackamas County double-murder case, you decide.

Let’s start with this important fact about the technology that is available to law enforcement today. In Gus Russo’s best seller, “Supermob” the author describes how in 1955 a private investigator from the room next store used an infrared camera to watch a U.S. Senator rape a young girl, estimated to be about fourteen or fifteen-years-old.

In considering what really happened to the girls murdered by ward Weaver , first let’s consider this fact, doesn’t it seem likely that this infrared technology would have improved significantly since 1955? Wouldn’t you think this technology has improved enough so that someone sitting in a van parked on the street could see inside a person’s home, and watch what they’re doing?

And then suppose, if there were some extremely wealthy, influential child murderers among us, wouldn’t you think they might want to create a distraction by allowing a sick murderer like Ward Weaver to go ahead and rape and kill his son’s girlfriend, but instead he rapes and kills two other young girls? Which they figure is even better?

Fact is, this county seems to have a lot of unusual deaths under Sheriff Craig Roberts. Coincidentally, did I mention that this is the same Oregon county where I was living when my own nightmare began.

Here’s the first important fact you should know about the Ward Weaver case. Both of these girls disappeared on their way to school. Despite that we eventually learned that every day they had been walking directly bye the home of their eventual assailant, law enforcement apparently never thought to searched every house, garage, or shed along the route the girls took between their homes and the bus stop. Hmmm…

Think about this, the police knew immediately that the girls both disappeared on their way to the exact same bus stop, which you would think would have been a major clue to take a really close look at every house, garage, and shed along the girls’ route. But that’s not what happened until long after the second girl disappeared.

Now compare this willful incompetency to the massive, invasive search that took place following the Boston Marathon bombing, in which the Forth and Fifth amendment were completely shattered with absolutely no due process. so, what court wouldn’t have granted Sheriff Craig Roberts a search warrant for any of these properties, especially if the owner had refused access to their shed?

We learned after murdering Ashley Pond, Ward Weaver put her body into a barrel and stashed it in his shed which was located behind the house. I suspect there are a few people from Clackamas County who knew the whole time exactly where Ashley Pond’s body was, but wanted to wait until Weaver had killed another girl before searching the entire property where both of the girls’ bodies were eventually found, one of whom was buried under a brand new cement patio.

And even after the second girl was murdered, it was reported that it took several weeks before the police came back to Weaver’s house and searched the shed. Does that make any sense?

As I said, maybe they needed a child rapist and murderer to distract everyone from what I believe is a wealthy, ruthless gang of professional lucifarian pedophiles and child pornographers operating out of the Willamette Valley.

A few years later Lard Larson and the local Alpha Media station starts playing a radio commercial from Signature Paving about providing a service where a person can get Mike and his crew to burry the body of any local anarchist…or anyone else?

So if our government and corporate leaders are kidnapping, raping, and murdering children, and protecting each other, and telling jokes on the local right winged radio station about it, as I believe is the case, then they would need a alternative villain. They would need to convince and distract the dumb downed public (with the help of Oregon’s highest paid reporter — the righteous asshole himself, John Canzano and the rest of the overpaid corporate media trolls) into believing their “creepy” disabled neighbor is another Ward Weaver, so they don’t ever get caught?

For example, John Canzano is the highest paid sports writer in Oregon and is best known for outing the wife of the Oregon Ducks head football coach, Mrs. Beloti, for allegedly having sex with one or more Duck players. Then a few years later, this asshole outed an Oregon State University pitcher for having some sort of inappropriate sexual contact with his younger cousin, when he was only thirteen-years-old.

So maybe with the help of Canzano and the other local presstitutes, in the case of Ward Weaver, the police only need to hide a sexual assault complaint and wait until he rapes or murders one or two girls, before moving in for the arrest.

As you may remember, when Weaver murdered the second girl, “they” quickly put up this massive billboard along side Portland’s Ross Island Bridge with the faces of the two missing children to constantly remind everyone…and keep the public in a state of terror as long as possible (perhaps, as it was always planned).

A statement from FBI spokesperson, Beth Ann Steel, in which she is seen crying into the camera when the bodies are discovered, was played by the local media, over and over, and over again, for days and days. Yet, no one asked the Clackamas County Sheriff how he could have not known about who Ward Weaver was, like before he had a chance to bury one of the girls in his backyard. And no one in the media would dare to asked why didn’t Sheriff Roberts arrest Weaver sooner, like the same day he assaulted his son’s girlfriend…before he killed either of these girls.

But not surprisingly, the Clackamas County Child Protective Scum and Lard Larson came to the rescue and went after the second girl’s mother, attempting to blame her for negligence, which they said led to the murder of her daughter.

But manipulating the legal system for those in power, who use the media against the poor (which is anyone without immediate access to a quarter million dollars in money or property) is just business as usual in America, and it’s not just Oregon.

I believe these Clackamas County thugs, with the help of Homeland Insecurity, are behind everything that’s been happening to me. The gang stalking, the voice-to-skull noises, the directed energy weapons, the nightly shocks, the vandalism, and the theft of my mail.

And not surprisingly, it began the moment I threatened to expose my wife’s abuse of her own children, which I write about in great detail below.

And I believe that’s the real reason why Detective Marley didn’t take the book of pornography into evidence when he found it in the older daughter’s bedroom, and check it for fingerprints.

I believe taking this book into evidence in 2004 was critical to not only learning about the current environment all three children were living in, but absolutely essential to protecting their future, not to mention the safety of every kid who already had, or would, look at this explicit book.

Ask yourself, how would a four-year-old boy, like Abraham, process a picture of a man, who appears very happy about what he’s doing, shoving his penis into the mouth of a woman?

Just like his older sisters, how long before he himself would begin to act out the images from this book. A few years later, would he began to explore his curiosities with some neighborhood girl, asking her, or maybe forcing her, to do this with him? Is he even capable at this age to understand the concept of “consent”?

I thought this was the point of investigating our family?

After all, other than god (who knows it wasn’t my idea), who cares if Christel and I did it along side some nun’s graveyard in a dozen different positions with the camera rolling and the nuns watching?

But here’s how law and order works in America today, if a cop or DA doesn’t want to know the truth, then they simply don’t ask the question. And definitely don’t take anything in to evidence that would challenge their “conspiracy theory”, about the “evil step-father and the struggling, innocent mom!”

Slowly we began to push our bodies against each other, in rhythm. Then I remember at one point Christel reached back behind her and briefly touched me for a moment. It surprised me since I thought we were going to wait until her daughter went back to her room before we did anything else.

It always felt good the way she would first cup me into her palm, and then start stroking her slender fingers up and down, rubbing her thumb across that soft vain under the tip. As an artist, she had these sensitive, thin fingers and what was the most creative touch you could imagine…up and down, round and round–

I can’t say exactly how many times she touched me, or how long she did that each time, touching and squeezing it gently in rhythm with our hearts. I was torn between this weird, awkward embarrassing feeling and this unbelievably strong desire to tell her how much I loved her. I wanted to tell her how much I especially loved her sweet, secret way of pleasing me, without letting her daughter know what we were doing…or so I thought?

It only took about ten or fifteen minutes of her gently touching my penis in this way before I realized that very, very soon I was going to lose control of the situation.

My brain was telling me to say nothing, promising that soon I would feel that unbelievable, instant burst of relief that leaves a man gasping for air, and usually seeing stars, even if you’re blind!

When it got really close, I said something like, ‘You better stop’, and giggled, giving her a gentle push away. She did stop squeezing me, but didn’t leave go right away. And I didn’t want her to stop, and maybe she knew this and was waiting for me to beg her to not stop!

It was like trying to slam the breaks on a speeding train, at the same time you were trying to get the mules back into the barn!

Taking a deep breath, I did everything I could to not let my passion flow from my body into the world….and said nothing–

And it’s true. There was a brief moment there when I just wanted her to continue. I felt like I just didn’t care anymore about anything else other than feeling a completion in what we were doing. I wanted so badly to release the pressure and crank the valve open all the way! Trying to convince myself maybe her daughter wouldn’t notice what we were doing.

Maybe for a moment there I even tried to tell myself that she wouldn’t understand what just happened. And I started to tell myself that maybe she wouldn’t notice or recognize that familiar smell?

And in that one instant I tried to also convince myself that this surging river that was roaring up from inside, ready to overflow the banks, wouldn’t later find its way over to her daughter’s side of the bed, staining her night clothes…that is, if she was wearing clothes?

But another part of me, a smarter side, a much stronger side, said that kind of thinking was really, really stupid, and extremely dangerous!

I was breathing pretty good from the first moment she touched me. I remember burying my face behind her, and in the pillow to mask my heavy breathing, but the room was dark and completely quiet and I began to imagine that her daughter was listening to every quick breath I made, and would know what happened if we didn’t stop…RIGHT… NOW!!

Then I imagined her daughter hearing that first gasp of air at the instant the dam breaks lose. It’s an unpreventable reaction, and unmistakable sound that would be hard to misinterpret. And would if her daughter asked me, “Don, are you okay?”

I knew both the girls had watched a lot of R rated movies growing up that included many scenes of love making and I’m sure she would know exactly why I was suddenly gasping for air. Even if she pretended not to know what just happened, but asked anyway, for fun!

At that moment, everything stopped, and a moment later, we reluctantly pulled apart. Rolling away from Christel’s warm, mostly naked body, I heard and felt the two of them climb out of the bed–

Then I heard Christel quickly walk her daughter out of the room and close the door. She returned about five or ten minutes later, and we made love. I never thought much else about that night, until I got a copy of the letter she wrote to Detective Marley.

But since getting a copy of her letter to Marley, the one question I can’t get past is, why did she put any of this in a letter that she was going to send to a cop?

Most of the letter was pretty vicious and accusatory, but only directed at me, or so it seemed.

But this one admission, admitting that she brought her sexually-curious, almost eleven-year-old daughter into bed with her naked boyfriend, seemed odd. And it seemed pretty dumb, to write about me getting an erection, and then sign it, and then send it to a cop!

And why didn’t Marley follow up on this written confession? Or did Detective Marley make some kind of a deal with her to say nothing about the letter? It’s not the only evidence he accidentally came across that should have raised a lot of questions about Christel’s own parenting skills and the safety of the children.

Yet the cops and the DA chose to completely ignore all of it?

Who gave you this book?” He should have asked the thirteen-year-old daughter.

“Has your younger sister or any of your friends seen this book?”

So I’m thinking to myself, maybe it was guilt Christel was feeling when she decided to write this down and send it to Marley. Maybe it was a subconscious need to confess her own bad behavior or her bad intentions, as though he were a priest or rabbi and she needed forgiveness.

I think her daughter knows more about what was happening that night we were in bed, even more than me. As I’ll explain.

Fact is, Christel may have been worried the daughter might tell someone about all of this some day, so maybe Christel needed to cover her own ass, no pun intended.

She may have also been afraid I would bring some of it up at some point in the future, like during our divorce/custody trial, and she wanted to make sure that her version was the one everyone heard first. And the one everyone believed. It’s common knowledge that it’s a lot easier to lie to someone than it is to convince someone that they’ve been lied to.

Why did she need to bring up anything about that particular night? Was it yet another lesson in human sexuality designed for her oldest daughter’s education (and Christel’s own gratification), demonstrating one fun way she might be able to please her boyfriend without risking pregnancy?

This is the way Christel would often think — she would often think about including her girls in her sexual fantasies, as I’ll explain, in explicit detail:

If you’re not over eighteen, or if you’re sensitive about Reading explicit, graphic sexual material, and it does get a lot worse, then you need to skip the rest of this chapter.

Frankly, there’s not any other way in which I can defend myself and fully describe how horrifying it was to be forced into these dangerous, compromising situations by someone I trusted, as a blind person. And what I suspect may have been one or more of the nefarious plans that were afoot–

As I describe my suspicions, first, I should begin by giving my ex-wife the benefit of the doubt, and try to imagine a possibility where her intent was mostly innocent, although not wise or motherly with regard to the safety of her daughter.

This argument would be even stronger, if we remind the reader about Christel’s extremely sensual, highly sexual nature, and most of her art work reflects this fact. And perhaps it was this part of her which briefly took over her usual good sensibility, with regard to compromising her daughter’s virtue. I would like to think so.

Like, maybe she just wanted to please her boyfriend, who had just moved in. And she didn’t care if her daughter suspected we were touching each other in the bed next to her, as long as she didn’t actually see anything.

Maybe in that moment, Christel forgot the daughter’s age and imagined her being younger than she was with very little knowledge about, or interest in, human sexuality.

Or let’s say, would if she knew her daughter knew about what was going to happen when she came to the door, and agreed to say nothing when her mom began touching me, as she watched!

When Christel first pushed her bottom against me, I felt her wiggle her butt a little, but it was enough to let me know she still wanted me.

It was a disturbing moment for many reasons, I recall. Part of me thought we were having this secret, intimate moment between us, just waiting for her daughter to hurry up and fall asleep and then be ushered by her mom back to her own bedroom. Hopefully with no complaint or delay.

On the other hand, I was wondering what Christel was doing by bringing her daughter into the bed with us, since I wasn’t wearing clothes, and had an erection. Even if she thought it was only for a few minutes. It was a moment of cognitive dissidence I was feeling.

And that’s what really made what she said in the Marley letter so infuriating! Christel knew I was aroused before her daughter came to the door. Yet in this letter she suggests that I had not become aroused until after she brought her daughter into the bed with us,

When Marley and his partner came over to speak with me the day before Thanksgiving that fall, he didn’t ask me one question about anything in Christel’s accusatory letter. And he didn’t ask me one question about the pornography book Christel said he found in the older daughter’s room. It truly seemed as though He didn’t want to know anything about anything that mattered.

Maybe because he knew I might tell him that before this one night, she had never brought either of her girls into our bed late at night. She admitted in her letter that she knew I was already naked when she did it? She knew I always slept naked, and she had to know this would eventually come out, if the jury was to read her letter about me suddenly becoming aroused by the presence of her daughter.

The important question now is who else saw this letter before I got a copy in 2007? Did Marley show it to the grand jury? I suspect he didn’t mention the book of pornography, unless he found a way to blame me for it. But I can assure the reader that my fingerprints would have never been found on any of the pages, had Marley ever checked.

That night, I don’t know if Christel’s daughter actually saw anything, but her letter proves there was a lot more going on than I knew.
Maybe having this secrecy between them about their sexuality was a sort of mother-daughter bonding. Like the book of pornography they often shared.

After all, it was what Christel said she learned as a very young girl when her own mother would allow some of her male friends to fool around with her and her sister, while her mother pretended not to see.

When we first met, Christel would often talk about her mothers boyfriends and their friends, and what they did with her and her younger sister.

According to Christel, this began when she was about four-years-old. One of the disturbing stories she told me happened when she was riding with her sister in the back of a pickup truck with one of her mom’s boyfriends’ friends, who molested both of them. She said she thought her mother could see everything he was doing from the front seat, but did nothing to protect them.

If it matters, her mom was a kid herself. She would probably be described as a party girl, still a minor, only sixteen or seventeen, when this particular incident happened.

Like a lot of American kids, Christel told me that her father was rarely around. And her mom was in and out of relationships, and got married and divorced several times wile she was growing up. Although according to Christel, her mom never married her father, saying she didn’t want to be his “Wifiepoo!”

It’s curious how even though a person is being abused by a parent or a coach, they will still protect their abuser. Christel’s father, who’s artistic skills she often spoke of fondly. died of a heroin/cocaine overdose a few years before we met.

She wanted our son to be named after him, and I reluctantly agreed. So we named him, Abraham “Timothy” Wolfe.

although Christel never said much about how his own bad behavior may have contributed to her sexual abuse as a young girl, I know from what she said that he wasn’t any better than her mother’s boyfriends when it came to providing any sort of parental supervision or healthy boundaries. He was over ten years older than her mother, who was around eleven when they began “seeing” each other.

Coincidentally, the man who became her oldest daughter’s father was almost twenty years older than her when they began sleeping together.

Once or twice Christel talked about “breaking the cycle”, but I didn’t figure out what she meant…until many years later.

However, this is the forgiving side of me, that wanted to believe that things would always get better for us, and that she would stop playing these unhealthy sex games and stop seeing other men, and lying to me about it.

But because the facts say otherwise, there are a lot of odd things about that night that suggest something else was going on.

For example, I couldn’t tell, but would if Christel had intentionally left the light on. The way her and her daughter walked in and out of the room so quickly, makes me think now that maybe the light was on the whole time?

I don’t remember hearing the click of the desk lamp. I can sometimes tell when the light changes in a room, but because of my blindness, unless it’s a really, really bright light, and I can feel the heat, once it’s been on a short while I can no longer tell.

And whether the light was on or off matters because she had mirrors almost everywhere in the bedroom. Hanging on the closet, mounted on the headboard, and across the desk, which was located right next to the bed.

maybe this is why she never pulled the blanket over the two of them, and partially uncovered me when she first reached behind her to touch me? I remember her pulling my manhood out part way from under the blanket and laying it against her butt, as though it were a canon being placed on its raised mount.

She rubbed it a little and waited for me to react, as she often did, in her own sexy, playful way.

And then a moment later, she rubbed it again. She did this several times, as the blanket began to fall away.

I assumed Christel’s body blocked any possible view of what she was doing with me, not to mention, I figured it was completely dark in the room. I wasn’t worried about her daughter seeing anything.

Not to make excuses, but I completely forgot about all the mirrors she had mounted around the bedroom.

But if the light was on, then I suppose her daughter might have looked toward the closet or headboard mirror and seen some of what was happening behind her mom’s back, which meant she may have been watching my erection grow as her mom rubbed my penis.

This would be a crime, if a mom knew her underage, sexually-curious daughter was becoming gratified by watching her do this to her boyfriend and did nothing to prevent it. And I suspect it would be an even more serious crime if the mother had planned it in advance, to let her sexually curious daughter watch her fondle her blind boyfriend.

And it may be the reason why Christel felt she needed to include a paragraph about that night in her letter to Marley, in case it came out later that she let her daughter watch?

Maybe Christel told her something before coming to bed like, “It definitely isn’t the same as seeing it in a picture or drawing sweetie.”

Once in the middle of the night, the same fall Christel had made this near life-size chalk drawing of me for school, completely naked.

The very next morning she showed both of her girls, as though she couldn’t wait (to excite them), even though she promised me at the time she drew it she would only show it to her drawing teacher, Dennis, and her fellow art students. Sense according to Christel, I was shown being partly aroused.

A few days later I overheard Christel and the girls talking about circumcisions, and suspected their question had something to do with the drawing of me Christel had shown to them a couple days earlier, since I happen to be circumcised? It was another weird moment, listening to this conversation:
“You see sweetie, the circumcision helps to keep the penis clean, which helps prevent spreading disease.”

She went on to explain, “The circumcision also makes the tip a little larger which helps to make the woman’s ‘didi’ feel good.”

While I imagined her pointing at my circumcision, she told them something like, “And the larger tip helps to keep the man’s penis from coming out while they are making love.”

So the reader understands why this is, as a “recipient” of this accepted Catholic/Jewish practice in many western cultures, I’ll try to explain it in my own words.

During the circumcision the skin of the penis is cut and pulled back, away from the tip. by removing a small part of the skin near the tip.

The circumcision makes the tip more exposed and thereby, more sensitive to touch. For this reason the tip is said to swell up quicker and grow slightly larger than it otherwise would.

Although perhaps, the accuracy of this comparison should be debated among women (or gay men)?

As a “victim” of what I feel is in actuality a form of ‘male genital mutilation’, I can tell you a little about the results, although I can’t claim to remember the moment it happened.

But if it had to be done (without my consent), I am grateful for having being raised by Irish Catholics. Since I do know for sure it was done to me by a doctor in a hospital, rather than having it done in a back room by some holy man’s teeth. OUCH!

After the circumcision is performed, a firm, raised ridge just below the tip of the penis, about an inch or two from the tip, where the skin was originally cut is created and becomes more noticeable as the boy grows older.

During arousal the ridge will become firm and will protrude even further as the penis becomes engorged with blood. For this reason the tip and its raised ridge act like a reverse plunger once it passes through the opening of the vagina and is fully inserted into the vaginal canal.

Similar to how I overheard Christel explaining it to her girls, after penetrating the vagina, the circumcised penis is far less likely to slip back out through the smaller opening of the vagina until the man ejaculates and the tip of the penis begins to shrink back to its normal size.

Meanwhile back in the bedroom, shortly after she began touching me, maybe four or five minutes later something happened, which might explain her letter…

I noticed Christel began to lean way forward. At one point laying almost flat on her belly, facing away from me.

I remember this, because I remember thinking something about her body felt strange, the way she was no longer leaning against me but still touching me. At some point I reached down for a brief moment and felt her wrist and butt, and thought her wrist was at a really odd angle. I kind of remember thinking for a split second, it seemed like a really uncomfortable position to be in while she was touching and squeezing my tip, but I didn’t want her to stop and said nothing.

But if she wanted her daughter to see everything she was doing, and the light was on, then it would explain a lot of this. It would explain why she pulled me out from under the blanket and was leaning forward so much while reaching back since her daughter would only need to raise her head a very little to see over the top of her mom.

On the other hand, if it was all planned ahead (to let her watch, by leaving the light on), her daughter could have piled up a couple pillows when she climbed into bed with us, so she would have a real “good view” of what her mom was doing.

Or would if they had arranged instead that, for educational purposes only, it was her daughter who had stretched her right arm over the top of her mom and was the one doing it? She tells her daughter it’s also going to be a test to see if I would make her stop, if I figured out it was no longer Christel touching me. Her daughter agrees with the plan.

Meanwhile, Christel tells her daughter she will pretend to have fallen asleep, so she can’t ever be blamed if I figure it out and become angry.

Back then, I never considered the possibility that anyone other than Christel would ever touch my most private body part in our bed. But given all the other nutty stuff that went on around there I probably should have been expecting almost anything from the three of them, when it comes to sex!

To be fair, there is a possibility that Christel really did fall asleep after leaning forward and touching me a few more times, and knew nothing about what happened next, until afterward. She doesn’t mean to fall asleep on me, but she’s really tired and that’s why she didn’t go back to the girl’s room, like she usually did.

I don’t really remember for sure, but it seems like there was a few long moments from the time she laid on her belly and the time when I was touched again. So I suppose that it’s not completely impossible that her curious daughter, who is feeling aroused from watching, could have reached one hand over the top of her sleeping mother and carefully used her fingertips to touch the tip of my exposed penis, without her mom or me knowing it!

Maybe as she’s doing it, she’s watching her mother sleep, hoping she won’t wake up, as she feels the moistening tip grow larger.

I had no reason not to believe it was Christel’s fingertips fondling me, but the letter to Marley forces me now to wonder. As I try to think about the way it felt at that moment, being explored, In all honesty, I’m just not sure any more.

So here’s a couple possibilities I thought about:
Maybe Christel pretended to fall asleep. She is waiting for (and maybe even hoping ), her daughter will try to touch me, since they had joked around about it earlier.

So maybe in a moment of boldness the older daughter reaches over the top of her mom, who appears to be sleeping, and begins to explore my circumcised tip for herself. She knows I’m blind and she figures I would never know, if she were really careful.

And she may have known her mother wouldn’t, or couldn’t, get angry because of all the other crazy stuff that had been going on over the last couple years, even if her mom did happen to wake up and catch her.

So making sure I didn’t find out was her only real concern, and maybe she figures just like what happen on the couch, I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it except make her stop, if she were caught!

Her daughter may or may not know, but Christel is only pretending to be sleeping, enjoying the entertainment. And also hoping I wouldn’t notice it wasn’t her touching me, but she doesn’t want either of us to know she’s awake in case her daughter gets caught!

Or as I said earlier, maybe before they came to bed they made an agreement to let her daughter do this with me as long as Christel can pretend to be asleep. Christel says, “I’ll get it ready for you, and then pretend to fall asleep. then you take over, but be really careful and only touch it very lightly with your fingers, the way I showed you. If you try to use your whole hand he might figure out it’s not me.”

Earlier that evening, let’s say, ever since her little sister went to bed her older daughter’s been sipping on her mother’s wine and asking non-stop questions about sex and circumcisions, and as they start thinking about bed, Christel knows their both feeling aroused. So Christel tells her daughter to wait fifteen minutes. And wile she can’t make any promises she will try to set it up so that her daughter can see, or maybe even explore with her fingers, an actual circumcised penis “for educational purposes only”, she jokingly tells her daughter, as long as she promises that “No one will ever find out!”

The older daughter agrees. She’s excited by the thought. She’s been thinking about sex lately, even more than usual.

And since she just found out her mom was pregnant, she’s been wondering to herself about what it would feel like having a baby growing inside of her…maybe with “those haunting blue eyes.

After all, her grandmother was only eleven when she became pregnant with her mom.

Maybe she’s feeling a little buzzed, and not considering the long term consequences when she begins gently squeezing the tip and rubbing it. Then for reasons she can’t explain, she begins using her fingertips to wipe off some of the fluids…which is what it kind of felt like was happening–

The first few times that night I know for absolutely sure it was Christel’s hand touching me. So it is a little troubling as I think back about it because I do remember that the person who was touching me didn’t begin to wipe off the tip until some time well after Christel began leaning forward.

So, by pretending to be asleep, Christel could claim some plausible deniability if I suddenly figured out that it wasn’t Christel’s hand that was touching me.

Maybe after taking her daughter back to her room, she says, “Don, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I must have fallen asleep and had no idea she would try something crazy like that! But we can’t tell anyone, okay, or we’ll both be in big, big trouble?”

What can I do, so I agree to this code of silence.

Then maybe a couple months later we find out her daughter is pregnant, and her daughter confesses to the police about what she did after her mom fell asleep. She claims in her version her mom knew absolutely nothing about nothing. She says it was completely her idea, on the spur of the moment!

After some encouragement from the police, the older daughter agrees that it’s very possible that I may have known it was her touching me, and not her mom. She admits she did it for a wile, first just briefly touching me for a moment and then leaving go. Waiting to see what I would do. Each time she holds on a little longer–

She doesn’t know why, but then, with the same hand, she started touching herself too. She says she wasn’t trying to get pregnant, but maybe she did think about it a little. She can’t remember. “But she does remember drinking some of her mom’s wine, when she wasn’t looking.

She doesn’t know how long or how many times she did it. But maybe she tells them she didn’t stop until she heard me say “stop”.

After a little more coaching she agrees with the lady officer, that I had to have known that it was her fingers touching me.

And when the tests prove the baby is mine, what could I possibly say to prove I always believed it was Christel touching me in the dark that night, and no one else, other than that’s exactly what I thought, until I read her written confession.

The fact is, the night my girlfriend brought her daughter to bed, I really had no absolute way to know absolutely for sure who was actually touching me without touching the rest of the arm of the hand that was touching me.

And I had pretty much forgotten all about the crazy incident three or four months earlier on the couch. The truth is, I had forgotten about her daughter’s previous brazen, eagerness the afternoon she got naked and unexpectedly jumped on my lap, facing me. and wouldn’t let go! But I’ll get back to that story a little later.

At the moment when Christel and I were squeezed together, I would have never imagined in a million years that she would ever just lay there and let her daughter touch my naked penis, but I realize today that when it comes to sex, absolutely anything was possible in this family. Including the possibility that I might have even co-starred in several “child pornography” short films, and never knew it.

But let’s start over. To be completely fair, as I said earlier, Christel may have not known anything about what was happening until the moment when I may have woke her up. The moment when I began to feel that strong, familiar urge to ejaculate, and wanted to warn her before it actually happened.

Because why? Because I knew her daughter was in the bed with us, and I didn’t want her daughter to know we were fooling around. Otherwise, obviously, I would have been a pig and done nothing until it was over.

Before this, while I was being gently touched, about five or ten, or maybe even fifteen, minutes, both of my hands were resting against Christel’s shoulders and my face was mostly buried between her shoulder and my pillow (to mask my heavy breathing).

And if I think back about it, Christel never did actually say anything wile “she” was touching me? That is, until after I told her to stop and gave her a little push with my hand.

All I know is that someone kept squeezing the tip a little, moving their finger tips in a circle under and around the tip, and then stopping to wipe some of the semen off. Or at least, that’s what it felt like.

I had found a carefully carve carrot around this same time among Christel’s art supplies And it’s possible that Christel had used it to show her daughter where the penis was the most sensitive and how best to touch it.

It might explain what happened when I whispered in Christel’s ear to stop. And maybe her daughter heard me tell her mother to stop?

As I said, at the time the fingers that were touching me paused but didn’t leave go. If it were her daughter’s hand that was touching me, she may have been told to make sure I ejaculated before stopping and was waiting for her mother to tell her what to do next.

Or if it were entirely her daughter’s idea, she may have been waiting to see if her mom woke up before leaving go? Who ever it was, seemed like they didn’t want to stop, and I sure didn’t really want “her” to stop

I know if “she” had only paused for a second or two and then kept going, in all honesty I’m sure I would have just waited a few more seconds and let it happen, figuring that if Christel didn’t mind then I guess her daughter was asleep and it was okay.

At that moment I wanted nothing else, but as I said earlier I felt obligated to warn Christel, simply because her daughter was in the bed with us.

So maybe this is what happened. Christel really is asleep. But she wakes up and suddenly sees her daughter’s arm reaching over her waist, and after a moment figures out what had been happening while she was asleep.

Or if she’s pretending to be asleep, maybe she looks at her daughter and shakes her head to say no. After what seemed like a long moment, as though they were deciding what to do, who ever it was quickly let go.

I remember, it kind of made me sad, since I was probably expecting at the very least a slow, gentle squeeze goodbye from Christel before she let go, assuring me that “We’ll finish this later.”

A few moments later, the two of them got up together, without a word, and quickly left the room. As I try to think about what had happen that night, I would have to say that it was a very odd evening, how it first began, and then how it ended so abruptly.

So maybe when their all alone, her daughter tells her mom what she was doing, she tells her she was exploring my circumcision , just like they talked about doing. And, when her mom doesn’t get mad about it, she also confesses about what else she did (with my fluids) after her mom fell asleep. But she doesn’t know if I know it was her touching me.

Before her mom has a chance to get mad, her daughter reminds her about their agreement about sex, and tells her ‘This was all your idea mom’ (like the naked lap dance and the family baths)!

And what can her mom really say about any of it, so they make a plan.

Maybe the plan that they agreed to make, and the reason Christel needed to tell Detective Marley part of the story in her letter, was to make sure she blamed me first in case I ever said anything about this night. This way they are able to keep the rest of her daughter’s secret, a secret?

And since I never mentioned it again (because I never gave it much thought), Christel figures I’m clueless to the fact that her daughter had been the one touching me. And then maybe also secretly touching herself. This family seemed to have a lot of secrets.

But consider this, could I have kept this information from my probation officer and my therapist and passed six polygraphs (including what’s called a two hour “full history polygraph”) if I knew this? That is, if I knew my soon-to-be oldest step-daughter had once stroked my penis for several minutes while we were laying in bed together (and one, or maybe both of us were naked), and her mom was sleeping between us, almost naked? I can assure you that If I knew anything like this, This ‘lie by omission’ would be impossible to completely ignore during a polygraph, let alone six of them. Here’s why-

So you know, one question that is always asked of every RSO during every polygraph is, “Have
you been completely truthful with both your PO and your therapist since your last polygraph?”

[Polygraphers: Joe Garcia, Dari York, and Jim Sharmota, 2005-2008]

For the record, RSO’s assigned to treatment are required to spend the next twenty-four months attending weekly group sessions, along with attending at least one individual meeting each month with both their therapist and PO, as well as successfully completing at least six polygraph exams with more than one polygrapher.

Besides, if I had any complicity in doing anything like this, seems like I would have said nothing until it was over!

Why in the world would I want “her” to stop? Then if Christel woke up, I would only need to pretend I was sleeping and must have had a wet dream.

And if anything like that had ever happened, don’t you think Christel would have used it against me and included the critical fact that I had also ejaculated while her daughter was in the bed with us in her letter to Marley, rather than just complaining about my unyielding erection?

So it’s possible, Christel and her daughter may have planned this entire evening together, like the incident on the couch or the baths.

There was a few different times when Christel would disappear from our bed just after we made love. I just assumed she was going to the bathroom, but she never came back to bed. The next morning she said she was checking on the girls and fell asleep in their room, but now I can’t help but wonder if she went in there for a different reason.

Did Christel sometimes go into the girls room just after we made love to make sure some of my fluids got on her daughter’s sheets, or somewhere else that would be incriminating, and difficult for me to explain?

Especially, if I never knew she had kept this “evidence”. And then later the police presented it to a secret grand jury, with a lab report confirming it was my semen that was found on one of the older daughters panties.

It certainly would explain how the hell they were able to secretly indict me with a quarter million dollars bail.

And without access to my screen reading technology, which allows the computer to talk, I was completely helpless in the jail and at the mercy of the Washington County’s unscrupulous prosecutors and the DA’s favorite public pretender, mumbling, bumbling Gregory Scholl.

In the beginning, I know for absolutely sure it was Christel touching me. And I’m pretty sure it was Christel’s fingers touching me every time that night, and would have never thought there was any other possibility…but, the truth is, when you’ve been aroused for awhile, it starts to feel a little numb, and almost any sort of friendly contact down there feels pretty good, even if once and awhile its your own hand doing the touching (with a little “Luger Marquis”)!

I do know that if Christel had left the light on, and had a video camera running, a ten or twenty minute film showing an almost naked mother and her young naked daughter taking turns stroking the fully erect penis of a sleeping man almost completely covered by a huge blanket would probably be worth a whole lot of money in the child porn business, which I understand is a flourishing industry here in the Willamette Valley, and along the entire west coast.

Imagine someone was making a video of a mom, who appeared to be asleep, laying next to her naked daughter who is touching the erect penis of a man sleeping under a huge blanket.

Then the camera shows this developing, very attractive young girl, without her mom knowing, removing something from the man’s tip and then moving her fingers down, between her legs, leaving the viewer to imagine what she’s doing. Now that kind of child pornography would be priceless, even if the mom and daughter had been staging all of it.

Or imagine someone is secretly video taping what almost happened, while her daughter may have been watching.

Christel is going to aim my penis toward her daughter just as she feels me begin to ejaculate! And that’s the exact way it was pointed, and what almost happened, if her daughter had raised her head and was looking over the top of her mom while her mom was rubbing me.

Yes, of course, this is a disgusting thought; the thought of A mom giving her young pre-teenage daughter a pearl necklace from her mom’s boyfriend for Christmas!

Fact is, when I knew her, Christel was a sex maniac, and pearl necklaces was something her and I did together many times. Once she told me that it was the most sexiest thing I could do when we were together.

Afterwards, she liked for me to rub my semen into her skin, saying it was good for her complexion.

So it’s not beyond imagination that she would want to share this sort of exciting adult experience with her oldest daughter, similar to what she said some of her mother’s boyfriends did with her.

Then who knows what would happen next, if I lost control and sprayed her daughter with my fluids? Would they both start laughing hysterically and run out of the room, and jump into the shower or tub? And then call me into the bathroom to join them?

Just like this one time all three of them tricked me when the oldest daughter said, in a serious voice, “Don, come here quickly, and look at this.” As I walked out of the bedroom, her oldest daughter took my out stretched hands, turned them over, and then slowly and carefully placed my fingertips on each of what appeared to be her own nipples, but were instead, the nipples of a stuffed sports bra she was wearing!

At first, when I heard her call my name I ignorantly stuck out my hands, thinking she was showing me something fragile, something that she didn’t want me to drop (which was partly true).

Then, when I touched her, she, her mother and younger sister all laughed garrulously. Ugh!

So the reader understands how the grooming process works, here’s a good example of how this early “casual encounter” should have went (if I had wanted to keep playing in these reindeer games):
After fondling the nipples of the bra for a few moments, I say something flippant like, to distract her mom from reacting, “Would you excuse us ladies.”

Then in one motion, I pick up the older daughter in my arms, who only weighs about eighty pounds, and carry her back into the master bedroom, quickly locking the door behind us (before her mom can react).

Then I tell the older daughter, “Let’s play a joke on your mom!” She agrees.

I tell her to go over there and sit on the bed and start yelling, and moaning, “OH YES! OH DON! OH YES please!” And I tell her to not stop until her mom unlocks the door, while I go over and sit by the computer.

So, a few minutes later, when her mom finally gets the door unlocked and sees us, and sees nothing’s going on, we all have a great big laugh.

Except I’m thinking, maybe the next time she’s naked I’ll get her to play this same game with me, with a different outcome.

First, I’ll carry her into the bedroom, and once again quickly lock the door behind us.”

Except it’s not just a silly little game this time. I’m hoping that her little sister doesn’t notice, and mommy doesn’t worry about where her daughter went, or worry about unlocking the bedroom door…until it’s way, way too late!

There were lots of opportunities when one or both of the girls were running around the house or apartment naked, slapping my butt, and their mom was totally, and completely distracted by her art. If her daughter had already been sexually-active for the last year or so and something like this happened (with some other boyfriend), it would have been possible that Christel wouldn’t have ever known.

Let’s say, after locking the door, the boyfriend lays the older daughter on the bed and quickly lies down on top of her, pulling off his shorts and pulling the blanket over them. They are now both completely naked below the waist, and she can feel the gentle pressure, as it rubs against her.

It’s been awhile since she was tuched there, other than her own hand. It feels pleasantly familiar and she becomes interested. So she relaxes, as she’s told, and let’s it happen.

Then about ten or fifteen minutes later she quietly slips out of her mom’s bedroom and goes back to her room, and quickly puts on her clothes. She lays down on the blanket next to her sister in front of the TV, without her mom or little sister ever knowing.

At this point, hopefully the honest reader is asking, once this sort of intimacy begins, and a mother is encouraging her daughter to let her blind boyfriend touch her daughter’s private parts, where does it end?

However, back here in reality. About one or two seconds later, as soon as she took her hands away (and I realized the joke they just played on me), I let go of her fake nipples, and did nothing else. Yet, three years later, I was charged with a Class B felony for touching her breast in a sexual manner!

So the reader should have figured out by now that this is the kind of “playful” stuff that was fairly normal behavior, for this family. But when I tried to explain this to Marley and Oaes, Marley instantly began attacking my character, and the pretence of our friendly conversation ended.

I can imagine, at the time Christel must have been thinking something like, “So what’s wrong with letting a blooming young pre-teenage eleven-year-old girl, who is beginning the change and who is obviously in touch with her own developing sexuality, do what she wants to do. Including, compassionately letting my blind boyfriend gently rub her emerging nipples?” As mom joyfully watches (and maybe is able to capture this special family moment on film for all of eternity).

but apparently, after I threatened to expose Christel’s bad behavior two and a half years later, she was no longer the compassionate, understanding mommy.

For the record, I sent a certified letter to the DA, Bob Hermann, and Detective Dennis Marley, telling them all about this particular incident involving the alleged touching of the older daughter’s breast, which was actually a stuffed sports bra she was wearing.

I think they arrested the wrong person, Because Christel arranged everything. As far as I know, the older daughter may have been wearing nothing other than panties and a bra. Or it’s possible, the older daughter may have been wearing nothing at all, other than this sports bra I briefly touched (while Christel may have snapped a picture, unless she had set up her video camera in the hallway before hand).

Christel loved the arts, including photography. And her younger sister performed as an extra in several Hollywood movies, including the original ‘Adams Family Movie”. So who knows?

Shortly after we began seeing each other, her daughters told me, and she confirmed this later, that their mom had a crush on the guy who acted in the movie, “If you could see what I hear.” I apparently reminded their mom of the actor, Marc Singer, who played Tom Sullivan in the movie.

Although, their mother insisted the actor’s name was “Rutger Hauer”. But maybe it was just the dark shades that turned her on. What’s curious about this alleged “confusion” is that Hauer did star in a movie called “Blade Runner”. If you don’t remember, the movie was about these super soldiers who served as the government’s killer cops, and who were programmed to live for only four years.

Consider this, it was four years almost to the day between the time Christel and I first met, in 2001 (and we had sex in my apartment), and the date in 2005 when she helped Bob Hermann and the Deep State destroy my life…and keep the secret, a secret.

Curiously, she said her favorite movie was “A Beautiful Mind”, and she made sure to tell me that her favorite song by Chris Isac was “Wicked Games”.

There was rarely a day when her or one of the girls didn’t mention something about their “didis” in front of me, a term of endearment the girls and their mom, and grandmother, all used to refer to their private area, which I assume included the vagina, clitoris and entire vulva.

Considering how open they were about sex and their bodies, and if what happened that night was supposed to be some sort of advanced lesson in human sexuality they had pre-planned together, maybe Christel told her daughter what she was planning to do and asked her if she wanted to watch? Or maybe help?

She explains, her daughter could watch as long as she absolutely promise, “hope-to-die”, to say nothing if any of my fluids got on her.

Her mother explains, “Sometime sweetie, it goes everywhere!” The older daughter sort of understands, or maybe understands perfectly.

Maybe Christel reminded her, “it’s critical that you don’t say a word or make a sound, and don’t you dare scream when it happens” so I didn’t ever know her daughter had been watching, or was the one actually doing it.

And maybe, so that I never figured out that her mother had given her the detailed instructions she needed to get away with it.

“I’ll be in way big trouble if anyone ever finds out that I let you do this,” she says. Except in Oregon, If I knew what I know now, I could have told her back then that as a woman, she had absolutely nothing to worry about. And maybe she knew in the back of her mind, the Ford Foundation and their powerful friends from Marylhurst and the Catholic Church would take care of everything, as they apparently always do for their young ladies?

Is this all starting to sound really creepy? Sadly, given Christel’s past behavior of always being the victim, both real and imagined. It is a real possibility that using her daughter to destroy my credibility may have been the plan from the beginning. And perhaps long before we ever met.

Using all sorts of sexually explicit tools, like books, drawings, Hollywood movies, and sculptures (and a few vegetables) I often over heard Christel teaching her daughters about sex. So using me for a few live demonstrations while she filmed it all isn’t beyond her thinking, as I may have discovered.

I remember the three of them once sitting on the couch looking through the same book of explicit photos that Detective Marley left behind (who apparently decided, along with Greg Olson, to keep this evidence away from the grand jury).

While I have never actually seen any of the pictures, based on what Christel described to me, the photo book (with no text) showed this same couple having sex in dozens of different positions, according to Christel.

While they were all sitting on the couch, I heard them discussing the pictures, and I heard the younger daughter asked something about why the couple was making love in so many different ways? And if you think about it, it was a fair question to ask from a six-year-old.

I listened to Christel explaining to her girls why. She said something like, this made the woman feel good when the man changed the way his penis was rubbing against the inside of her didi.

In retrospect, maybe I should have thought a little more about how her older daughter would process this same sort of information, but I do remember thinking with some alarm about how her younger daughter would react to hearing this at that age. Maybe if she was more mature?

However, by then, there had already been several serious incidents which raised red flags about the younger daughter’s mental and emotional health, and her tendency to often focus on this particular topic (sex) during conversations with both adults and other children.

When I asked her mom about this later, and if this was a good idea to share so much information about human sexuality with them, especially the youngest one? Christel told me that she felt since the collection of photos were all taken of the exact same couple making love, and this Australian couple was also married, it wasn’t considered to be pornography, but rather a form of art. Since I couldn’t see the pictures, it made sense at the time.

As I mentioned, in the fall of 2004, Detective Marley picked up this same book he found in the older daughter’s bedroom but chose to not take it into evidence. As far as I know, he didn’t ask Christel who gave her daughter the book, or who else had seen it.

I know for sure at least three of the daughter’s girlfriends had also looked through it while we lived in Beaverton. And apparently, after moving to West Linn, the book was also viewed by the thirteen-year-old adopted, mentally-challenged daughter of a Clackamas County Circuit Judge, Douglas Victor van Dyk

Without his wife, Judge van Dyk would often bring his daughter by my estranged wife’s apartment to stay the night, with my step daughter. Apparently, the judge’s daughter would sleep over night and look at the book of pornography. As I mentioned, the book was readily available to any of the kids who wanted to look, regardless of their age.

Curiously, this same detective told me that because my oldest step-daughter had made a few cuts on her body that this meant that I had probably been molesting her, and apparently told the grand jury this, who voted to indict me.

Obviously he never mentioned the book of pornography her mom gave her, or the sports bra her mom had her put on and than trick me into touching. And curiously, he apparently also failed to mention the letter he got about Christel bringing her older daughter in to bed with her naked, aroused boyfriend!

What is interesting is that around this same time in the fall of 2004, my wife told me she had seen Judge van Dyk’s daughter once when she got out of the shower and told me this young girl had dozens and dozens of cuts all over her body.

Does this mean Judge van Dyk was molesting this pretty Asian, disabled girl who apparently he specifically selected for adoption?

Obviously it doesn’t prove anything. But apparently, it was okay to use this same sort of “evidence” against a poor, severely disabled person to obtain a secret indictment (and demand a quarter million dollars bail)?

And why wasn’t my wife indicted for even one crime in 2005?

Did Christel have a right to educate the judge’s daughter or any other kids from the neighborhood with this sort of explicit material by making it readily available to all of them? Even if Judge van Dyk knew and didn’t mind, did any of the other parents know, or approve?

And most importantly, is there any sort of professional or official obligation on the part of Detective Marley to take the book into evidence and check it for fingerprints, finding an explicit book of pornography in the bedroom of a thirteen-year-old girl while presumably investigating an alleged sex crime committed against this same girl almost three years earlier?

There is another possible explanation about what happened that night we were all in bed together. Maybe her daughter knew absolutely nothing about nothing of what was going to happen. This is what I would like to believe.

Although there are other possibilities. And it may be those possibilities that explain why Christel first had me arrested, and then painted this less than flattering depiction of her older daughter, the victim, while I was being held by Washington County in solitary confinement (apparently because I was “so fast” and I had an alleged “dangerous marijuana addiction”.

Did Sheriff Gordon get this idea from the government’s 1937 propaganda movie, “Reefer Madness”?

Over the past four years, Christel had painted dozens of paintings for school. Yet, for her senior art project she decided to submit a painting she just finished called “Doppelganger” to the Portland Tribune of her oldest daughter. I would imagine her advisors at Marylhurst (Dennis, and John French), knew the background behind the young girl in the painting, yet apparently said nothing to discourage Christel from using it.

It would seem, at the very least, her Marylhurst advisors would have thought about protecting her daughter’s identity. Not to mention the obvious implication that the painting suggests to the viewer about the voracity of the subject, questioning the young lady’s character.

If you look, the painting clearly suggests to the viewer her daughter isn’t who she appears to be. I have always wondered what was Christel trying to say when she first painted this, as the mother of this victimized child? And I’ve never questioned the fact that both girls had been victimized. Except, it wasn’t me who ever abused their virtue or innocence.

So what was she thinking about when she picked this painting? Was she worried about her daughter telling something else about what happened that night in bed, with her mom’s naked boyfriend.

The May 2005 Portland Tribune article was advertising the Marylhurst University Spring Art Festival to be held at the school Art Gym. The painting Christel picked out showed her daughter looking down into the water, with an obviously dishonest face looking back.

Ask yourself, why would any mother choose to publicly humiliate her daughter at this critical time in her life? I can certainly understand why Christel painted it when she did. I suspect she must have been feeling some tremendous guilt, knowing her blind husband was locked inside of a small cement room, while she remained free.

But what made Christel decide to publish this particular painting? Especially when you consider just a few weeks earlier, according to the State of Oregon (after obtaining a coerced plea bargain from me), her daughter was legally defined under the law as being a “child victim”. Yet, her mom’s painting clearly suggests that she is lying about something?

Maybe it’s because Christel knew her daughter was lying about what happened that night when her mom brought her into bed with her and her boyfriend?

So, I have to wonder. Does the Pamplin Corporation or the Portland Tribune investigate any pictures or paintings it publishes simply for copyright reasons, if nothing else? Clearly they knew it was a painting of a young girl looking extremely deceitful, for some reason.

Like the letter to Marley, was this another seed Christel was carefully planting to cover her tracks just in case her daughter decided to tell about what she knew.

Maybe her oldest daughter knows that her mom had been using the girls to set me up, by leaving out a few important details, with a little help from her good friend, Judge van Dyk, who was coincidentally (and perhaps, conveniently) serving on the Clackamas County Domestic Violence Task Force at this same time.

While I realize that some of what follows is considered to be hear say’, there’s some good evidence to suggest Christel’s new friend may have tried to kill me in 2004 to cover up the true nature of their relationship. I’m not sure if what actually happened, and what could have easily happened, was intended, but I do know one thing.

Judge van Dyk’s 2004 campaign manager, Marcus Abrams is known to be an extremely shady lawyer. He works for the State of Oregon, protecting corrupt government workers. He is also a Jewish hack-writer for Blue Oregon (a far-left DemoCreep political web site).

Most independents, such as me, know Abrams, similar to the ADL and the SZLC, has a long history of being a “legal thug for the Creep Party” and the Jews. He’s also a friend of Republican operative Rob Kramer, the creep from Clackamas County, who wrote the infamous radio ad the “Creep Ad” for the election of the Clackamas County Chair, about keeping Portland out of Clackamas County. So I suspect, Abrams wouldn’t be beyond using the cops or the correction creeps to “take out” one of his party’s perceived political adversaries.

Maybe Christel and her younger daughter are lying about all of this, but here’s what happen that fall, you decide:
The West Linn Police were dispatched to Christel’s apartment in the fall of 2004. Apparently, a call was made shortly after midnight from the residence of Clackamas County Circuit Judge Douglas van Dyk to the West Linn Police which compelled two officers to go to my wife’s apartment and wake her and the kids up.

This is according to Christel, and her youngest daughter confirmed most of this later. Shortly after midnight two police officers from the West Linn Police Department showed up at her door with their guns drawn. She told me that the police told her Judge van Dyk had called them and said that he suspected her husband was molesting her oldest daughter in the apartment.

Despite that apparently Christel and both of her daughters told the police I wasn’t there, they insisted on searching with their guns at ready.

Apparently,Christel must have turned off the ringer when she went to bed, and the Judge claimed his daughter was unable to reach Christel’s older daughter, and they became concerned for her safety.

What is most revealing about this incident, is that Christel said the police didn’t know I was blind. Can you imagine if I had stayed over night at my wife’s apartment, which I had every legal right to do, and came wandering out of the bedroom to see what was going on?

So imagine, the police walk into this apartment where a young girl is allegedly being molested by her step-father, according to a local circuit judge. And suddenly they see this guy wearing nothing but running shorts coming toward them. He looks like he’s on some kind of drugs (because he’s completely blind). And despite that they have their guns pointed at the man’s chest, he’s still very quickly coming toward them!

How do you suppose the police would react to this scenario? Was Judge van Dyk (and his friend and former-campaign manager Marc Abrams) setting up my murder that night?

Consider this, it was only a month away from the election. Don’t you think Judge van Dyk would have consulted with his campaign manager, over something as important as this? Or maybe, they agreed, it was a great political opportunity?

Why in hell would he tell the police that he suspected I was there “molesting” my step-daughter? The investigation had to do with an incident that happened three years earlier. And I hadn’t been in the apartment for days.

The judge should have known his position of authority would automatically trigger an aggressive response from the police, especially when it involves the possible rape of a young girl.

Was it really because his daughter couldn’t get through on the phone? Seems like a pretty extreme reaction (and allegation), especially coming from a sitting circuit judge who had absolutely no evidence, doesn’t it?

Since then, have Abrams and van Dyk then using their power to justify or cover up the judge’s over reaction, by getting the Portland police or others from the correction department to torture me (and make me look crazy)?

Since the judge had brought my step-daughter home from his house just a few hours earlier, it doesn’t seem likely that his adopted daughter would be overly concerned about not getting through on the phone at this late hour, on a school night?

And why didn’t this judge bother to also tell the police that the accused man had a significant visual impairment? Several of Christel’s E mails to my PSU account suggested he knew a lot about our family,and our struggles. In one particular E mail she said that she believed ‘the judge may be manipulating the criminal investigation against me’.

Although, curiously, she always referred to him in her E mails as “Judge van Daggot.” She said it was based on his pointy nose and how it reminded her of the character in that comic strip. Obviously, I have no way to know what the judge looks like, but it would be curious to see if someone agrees that this observation from Christel is accurate, since it would seem to add some credibility to her other allegations of “tampering” in these other cases.

As further evidence of the judge’s familiarity with our family and my blindness, he invited my step-daughter to a 2004 campaign rally held at his West Linn home. Christel’s said they made a video featuring her daughter, this young female victim that the “good judge” was assisting. Guess who else was there?

Apparently, around this same time Judge van Dyk (or maybe, someone else) got the county’s child protective scum to come after me. A few years later, the same agency rubber-stamped the ongoing child abuse being committed by Jennifer and Sarah Hart (until they murdered the six children in their custody).

They sent Christel a letter telling her I was no longer legally permitted to visit my son. Because I was under investigation. We ignored the letter and I continued to regularly visit him at Christel’s apartment, and I also watched him at my Lake Oswego apartment when she was in class. Until “they” had me arrested in early January of 2005.

As the next two chapters in this book describes, two years later the State of Oregon would formally end all possibilities of me ever having a healthy relationship with my son,
Abraham, while he was a minor.

So one last time, let’s go back to the Marley letter–

Maybe before going to bed her daughter innocently asked her mom to come to her room and lie down with her. They did this fairly often. But instead, Christel says something like ‘how about if you first try to fall asleep on your own. But if you can’t, knock on my door in fifteen or twenty minutes.

When her daughter knocks and she answers the door, instead of taking her back to her room, Christel gently grabs her daughter by the hand and pulls her into our room, putting her finger to her lips while pointing toward me, who appears to be asleep (as the camera continues to roll).

Then she and her daughter climb into the bed, and Christel quickly helps her daughter get undressed. A few minutes later Christel begins to touch me. She is hoping I will also start touching her, although she hasn’t exactly decided what she wants to happen next…she thinks ‘we’ll just play it by ear’.

As she’s touching me, she becomes more and more aroused thinking about it. She begins to lean forward so her daughter can see exactly what she’s doing, like they talked about.

And maybe, as she’s touching me, and watching her daughter watch what she’s doing, she starts to imagine how many different ways the two of them can have sex with me, similar to one of the threesome fantasies Christel and I talked about.

She’s really hoping I would start touching her. And if her daughter weren’t there with us, that’s what I’m sure I would have done. But I didn’t.

And maybe the real reason I didn’t dare start touching Christel was because sub-consciously I knew she would have lost control of all of her sexual inhibitions. And then maybe I knew, all Christel’s pretences about pretending that she was a responsible mother and didn’t want her daughter to know what she was doing with me would be gone!

And then…what do you suppose would have happened next in that bedroom that night?

So as we’re all laying there in bed together, maybe the older daughter is watching her mother touch me and still feeling a little shy. But she can’t stop watching! I’m blind, and I don’t know she’s watching. So she thinks it doesn’t really matter if she’s watching what her mom’s doing.

So one evening, after Christel gives her younger daughter some Benadryl, her older daughter and her are alone, sipping wine and talking about sex, as I know Christel sometimes like to do with her oldest daughter when they were alone.

So maybe during one of these semi-private conversation the older daughter starts to feel buzzed and tells her mother a little about what she’s been feeling, sexually, ever since the couch. And she bravely tells her mom that she once thought about what it would be like to “do it” with me. Her mother tells her to never be embarrassed by these thoughts and feelings.

And maybe she jokingly tells her that she agrees with her taste in men, and says this is perfectly normal for a young, maturing woman to have these sort of sexual desires and fantasies about her mom’s boyfriend, like her and Richard did, who is the father of her younger daughter.

maybe Christel is thinking, by telling her daughter this, it will help encourage her daughter to experiment with me, sexually, and thinks about letting her stay home from school one day.

As Christel is touching me, and her daughter is watching, and they are both pretending that the daughter’s not watching, she begins to think about how her own mother, would sometimes watch her out of the corner of her eye from across the room, while some sick male friend of a friend of her mother’s was having his way with her at some acid party!

The experience gives her a warm, tingly feeling of togetherness, as she watches her daughter watching her fingers sliding round and round.

Once wile I was spending the night at Christel’s duplex in Springfield, Oregon, I remember hearing the girls laying in the hallway, bumping up against their mom’s bedroom door one night.

Despite my blindness, whenever I walked upstairs at night I could tell Christel had this massive bright light in the hallway turned on. And now that I think about it, there was probably a lot more light shining under the door and lighting up the bedroom than I knew.

I asked, “Christel, do you hear the girls out there in the hallway, listening?” It made me nervous, hearing the sound of their voices so close, since we were completely naked and uncovered, and had done all sorts of things together and had already made love before I noticed the light shining under the door.

She said, “Don’t worry they can’t see anything.”

The next morning I felt the door and discovered there was at least a three or four inch gap between the floor and the bottom of the door. The foot of the mattress, which was laying on the floor near the door, must have been fairly visible to anyone who was looking under the door because of the bright light behind them.

In fact, I would imagine the youngest daughter’s head could have probably fit part way under the door, if she wanted to get a “better look!”

I wondered how Christel couldn’t have noticed this huge gap. And I probably should have wondered why she didn’t get out of bed and cover it up when I told her about my concerns about our need for privacy.

Did one of her boyfriends and her intentionally cut the bottom of the door (so the girls could get a better view)?Obviously, she didn’t care that both of them may have been watching us (from about two or three feet away), and very likely vicariously watched me perform cunnilingus on their mother.

I suspect it may have been the older daughter’s idea, but truthfully, I don’t know.

One other time in Springfield, I thought I heard the girls climb out of their mom’s bedroom closet in the middle of the night and quietly sneak out of Christel’s bedroom. So I suppose it also wouldn’t surprise me if they were hiding in there once again, secretly watching everything we were doing.

So anything’s possible, including that her daughter may have not been wearing any clothes when she climbed into the bed with us.

If she wasn’t already naked, Christel could have planned it this way where she gets her to quickly slip off her nightgown and panties, with a little encouragement, like the first time she got her and her sister to get naked and jump into the tub with us. For the record, I was always wearing swimming trunks or running shorts when the girls were around, other than this one night in bed (that Christel wrote to Detective Marley about).

While Christel and me were in the tub together that fall this one time, I remember she yells “Come on girls, slip off your clothes and get in with us!”

A few seconds later the younger daughter runs into the bathroom and eagerly strips off her clothes and jumps in.

Then about a half minute later, the older girl comes into the bathroom, and despite her mom’s encouragement, she says “I don’t want to, mom.”

Christel then firmly orders her to take off her clothes and get in the tub with us.

A moment later, I think I hear her take off her clothes. Then she slips into the water between me and her little sister. As she slips past, I feel her naked thigh brush against my leg.

Wouldn’t you think most young girls, being put in a compromising position such as this by their own mother would say, “I’m not going to get naked and get in that tub with you and your boyfriend!” and scream something like, “Are you crazy mother!”

But instead, there seemed to be a silent, secret message exchanged between them — some sort of agreement, that made it impossible for her daughter to object in any way at such an outrageous request from her own mother.

With a certain look, was her mother saying something like, ‘Remember, I know… You told me? So you better do what I’m telling you to do.’

The older daughter silently complies, and takes off all of her clothes, including her panties, and climbs in the tub with us.

So each time Christel rubbed me that night, would if she also ran the tips of her fingers across her daughter’s new peach fuzz, and then across the lips of her daughter’s exposed vagina. Then she gently tickles her. Her daughter shyly smiles, thinking her mom is only teasing her about being naked, and in the bed with us, exactly as they joked about doing, earlier.

But just maybe Christel is secretly hoping her daughter will become pregnant, without knowing how it happened.

The daughter believes her mom is only teasing her when she touches her, since after all, she is secretly in bed, naked, with her mom’s hot new boyfriend, who is also naked! Very exciting for a young girl, she thinks to herself, not realizing her mother is trying to impregnate her.

Or maybe, her daughter knows exactly what her mom is doing, and is letting her mother do this, as they agreed, while they’re both hoping she will become pregnant.

I know it all sounds crazy, but since Christel just learned she herself was pregnant (and more horny than ever), I can tell you that around this time her boundaries were even lower than usual. So maybe Christel, or both of them, decide it would be really, really exciting if they could both have a baby together (with me as the father).

All four of us were really giddy when we found out Christel was pregnant, and after that, that’s all we ever talked about, having a baby around and what it would be like.

“Can you imagine what fun it would be, if we were both pregnant with Don’s baby! maybe She jokingly tells her curious daughter one night, who is just beginning to bloom. She laughs about it, not knowing her mother is intentionally planting a dangerous seed in her mind.

There may be some important facts about the family that have attributed to this sort of thinking. For example, along with her second daughter’s father, Richard Wolff, several of Christel’s mom’s boyfriends later became her lovers, including her first and third husbands.

And the sister, Brenda, of her previous boyfriend, Rick, was once married to Christel’s first husband, Richard, making Rick’s two boys her youngest daughter’s cousins, which I think would make Rick the great uncle or maybe the second cousin of Christel’s youngest daughter? It gets real confusing, the more you know.

Just so it’s clear, the older daughter is not related to Rick’s boys by blood, since it’s possible that (before Christel and I met) there may have been something sexual going on between one of the boys and the oldest daughter.

So maybe this has something to do with the crazy cycle Christel told me she wanted to brake, when she decided to get me for threatening to expose her.

She had just dropped me off at my Lake Oswego apartment when I had finally lost my temper. I had been steaming all day.

Christel, without telling me, had suddenly decided to begin weaning our son the day before. I knew right away it was only because she wanted her breast to fill up with milk before she had her Ford Foundation picture taken (apparently for the horny wealthy men who use these pics from organizations like this to select their next mistress, or bimbo, or another “coerced” intern).

Abraham screamed all night, crying and begging for his mother’s milk, but she never gave in, as you can see from the pic! And if this wasn’t enough, Christel even had the mordacity to mention something in one of her letters to the DA or Marley about how I had embarrassed her by not shaving for the Ford Foundation graduation Luncheon.

So let’s say the older daughter has no idea what her mom did, getting her pregnant when she briefly tickled her didi that night while she was falling asleep. But she notices her pants don’t fit as well and she is starting to put on a little weight waiting for her first period.

Then Christel secretly starts giving her pregnancy tests under some other pretense, saying it’s for a drug test instead, and gets her to pea in a cup. Once Christel gets a positive test, she tells the police that she thinks I am the father, and shows them the stained panties she found.

I am arrested, and when the baby is born, the test prove she was right, with only one reasonable explanation as to how it happened!

But maybe about two months later, when she realizes that her daughter isn’t pregnant, she comes up with another plan, and waits for her daughter to start ovulating.

So she can keep her parental control over the baby, she comes up with a plan to leave her daughter home, alone with me. And this way, she can keep all of her secrets, secret…

I have no way of really knowing until its too late when this crazy stuff is going to happen, and often found myself in these odd, uncomfortable situations with her and her naked daughters, in the tub, the bed, or once when I was sitting on the couch.

It was probably what had happened that afternoon on the couch, in the fall of 2001, when Christel later realized that she had crossed the line, which is what I believe may have motivated her to start thinking about getting some insurance. Or maybe at least, getting some dirt to cover her ass!

Maybe that’s why that night before she came to bed she told her sexually-curious daughter to wait about fifteen minutes, knowing I would already be naked and fully aroused by the time her daughter came to the door, and if she planned it right, ready to ejaculate, with only a little encouragement.

It was in the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday when it all began. I now believe Christel, and maybe someone else, may have encouraged the girls to take off their clothes, then take turns jumping on my lap, facing me. When it happened they wrapped their legs around my thighs, and wrapped their arms around my neck and “held on tight.

“Hold on as long as you can girls, no matter what!”

Maybe their mom, or someone else says to them, “I think we need to really test Don, to make sure you girls are safe around him. What do you think about this idea?” And they agree.

And maybe she says, “I’ll be right here, just in case, but let’s see if he tries anything with you sitting on his lap like this, if he thinks I’m not watching.” And maybe she tells them, “That’s why we need the camera, in case we need to prove it later.”

And to get them more motivated, maybe she also says something like, “It’ll be so funny, won’t it!” They agree and laugh!

Except, since the older daughter’s hormones have recently begun to awaken, and she has begun growing fresh hair near her didi, her body becomes even more excited than her much younger sister by the idea. The idea of sitting on the lap of their mom’s boyfriend wile their completely naked, pretending to have sex.

“Remember girls, there’s no audio, so you don’t need to make any sounds. Just take turns, and stay on his lap as long as you can. And try not to let go.” And they both nod their heads in agreement.

Imagine if you were the producer filming this and writing the script:
“Honey, you need to take off your underwear too. I promise, we won’t show your face while you’re pretending. And don’t forget, when this all comes out you’re both gonna be movie stars, like your Aunt Raymie!” They jump up and down, agreeing to take off their clothes.

In order to get the best shot of their naked bottoms, the producer places the camera on the floor about five or six feet away, directly across from the center of the couch. and who knows, maybe the camera is built into the television?

He tells the mother to stay behind the camera, so it appears she isn’t home while this is going on.

After turning off the audio, the camera is turned on and the younger girl is given a pre-arranged hand signal to begin.

From this angle, the viewer can only see the back of the girls’ heads and their naked butts as they are running toward the couch.
Each takes a turn jumping onto the lap of a (“extremely good looking”) grown man sitting on the couch. From this view, each of them can be seen bouncing their naked butts up and down with their arms and legs wrapped around him.

And while the man is leaning back and trying to pull their arms from around his neck, they are leaning their heads back toward the camera, the viewer can see that by doing this they are forcing even more direct contact between their bottoms and the man’s crotch, which excites the viewer even more.

The film is deliberately slowed way down by the producer, making every movement appear even more sensual and deliberate. From time-to-time the film pauses and zooms in for five or ten seconds (at the “perfect” moment).

The viewer can’t tell whether or not the man has an erection or whether or not the fly of these skimpy shorts he’s wearing is open or closed. Although the angle of the camera from time-to-time provides the viewer a good shot at most of the girls’ exposed bottoms, including a few of the older girl’s fuzzy little pubic hairs.

This means, from this angle the camera doesn’t really show if he’s actually having vaginal intercourse in this extremely intimate position with either of the girls, although the viewer can tell both of them are completely naked, slowly bouncing around on his lap, creating the impression that maybe there’s something going on.

the viewer doesn’t know the man is blind. So it appears as though he’s wearing shades to hide his identity from the camera while having sex with these two young girls. And one of them appears to be only about six-years-old!

From this angle the girls face and breast are not visible. For this reason, The older daughter appears as though, and behaves in a way to suggest, she is not a virgin. The eager viewer concludes from her behavior, (as well as her curvy hips, rounder butt and pubic hairs) that she has most likely been sexually active prior to the filming of this scene.

At first, she seems shy and unsure of herself, then a few moments later she’s seen leaning back and aggressively pushing her bottom into him, while she’s passionately laughing about it! Because of the slow motion effect, the scene goes on and on…

Then, in what is the final moment, the older girl is seen collapsing against the man, in total exhaustion, burying her face into his neck and shoulder.

To the viewer, who is watching intently (and maybe masturbating), the film creates the appearance that the older girl and the adult male have been having sexual intercourse , exactly as the producer intended.

Any reasonable person, like a jury, would have to ask how could a mother let her daughters sit naked on any man’s lap with their legs spread wide apart, and wrapped around the man’s waist? It was probably similar to being in stirrups at the Gynecologist’s, receiving a vaginal exam.

Was their mommy using me and my “stethoscope” on this lazy Saturday afternoon to play doctor?

It seems strange that a mother who would sometimes beat her daughters with one of these wooden spoons (purchased by her with the Ford Foundation money), wouldn’t react violently by screaming at them and grabbing their arm (or hair).

For example, there was this one time when Christel, me, and her youngest daughter were shopping at the Wallmart’s on Beaverton Highway. When Christel grabbed a pack of wooden spoons off the shelf, her daughter began screaming, hysterically.


I listened to Christel and her daughter wrestling for control over the bag of spoons. I wondered if anyone was watching. They must have wondered why this little girl, who was barely six-years-old was panicking over her mom buying a bag of wooden spoons.

What would a jury think if I had ever been given a chance to tell them about the wooden spoons, and their mom’s absolute control over the girls.

Given all of this, is it reasonable for me to think, their mother had to know by sitting on my lap in this way it would force the lips of their exposed vaginas to open even further, forcing more intimate contact between our private parts? Is that what she wanted?

Much like she said her own mother did with her and her sister, getting the girls to do exactly what Christel wanted wasn’t unusual, sexual or not.

For example, around 2004 she had each of the girls throw the gold wedding band and the diamond engagement ring I gave her into the Willamette River, somewhere down by Oregon City.

This is why I suspect Christel was responsible for this incident. She was often so easily able to get them to do these crazy things, like taking off all of their clothes, jumping on my lap and then getting them to pretend to have sex with me while she films it.

As I recall, one of the photos in the book of pornography the girls carefully studied showed this exact same position. The woman was facing the man and sitting on his lap, having sex, while he was sitting on a love seat.

I will confess, and Christel knows, this is one of my favorite ways to make love to a woman. And I would say it’s the most intimate position a man and woman could assume. How could their mother not see how this looked?

What made sitting with the girls in this particular position even worse was that I was born with what I once heard from a partner unscientifically being called a “frontal mount”.

This is very personal to talk about, but important to understanding the situation.

Apparently in this case, a frontal mount means my scrotum, which includes the penis and testicles, is located slightly more forward than what is apparently considered to be normal for most men.

For this reason, not only does it cause the tip of my penis to protrude more than most men, especially when I’m aroused, when I sit down to urinate I have to constantly push the tip down so I don’t spray myself.

And if I’m wearing clothes, apparently sometimes it appears (perhaps, to the wishful mind) as though I have an erection when in fact I don’t!

I was sitting on the couch carefully listening to some fakeball game when the girls took off their clothes and began to take turns jumping on my lap, as their mother sat a few feet across from me (and perhaps, video taping all of it).

And who knows, maybe after showing the police this suggestive video she tells them she wasn’t home when it happened.

She says, she kind of remembers when it happened. But after coming home from school she must have turned off the surveillance camera and then started making dinner, and completely forgot to watch it, until now.

Although, I would think an unedited video would have clearly shown I had no part in planning, encouraging, or participating in any of what went on.

This reminds me of the case involving Father Israel Bein, who was filming alter boys in his Sherwood Church bathroom, urinating. After one of the underage victims and his father found the hidden camera, they gave it to Father Bein, and then it disappeared.

First, the Arch Bishop of Oregon, Alexander Sample, ignored the situation, by allowing this priest to have access to his alleged victims (he was apparently filming).

Sample should have known, merely by his presence the priest could intimidate or coerce them into saying nothing.

Then Father Bein could say to the worried parents, “See, there’s nothing to this.”

After thirty-three days Arch Bishop Sample (who is also from Michigan) finally suspended Father Bein, but didn’t tell police the priest was planning to leave the country (to visit sick relatives), until after he left.

The Washington County DA, Bob Hermann, who prosecuted me, intentionally protected this Filipino priest, by first not taking his passport when he was caught lying to the parents, and then by only charging him with a misdemeanor (so that he wouldn’t be pursued by the FBI).

So now I have to wonder, was Christel being paid by someone with some connections to the catholic church or the Washington County’s DA Office to produce child porn while she was living in Beaverton?

Was Christel part of a wealthy pedophile ring that looks for young, attractive women with children to produce child pornography?

When we met Christel told me she was a “woodland nymp”, but I didn’t immediately know what she meant? I realize now that she was trying to tell me that she was a nymphomaniac. And apparently, was training her daughters to also be “woodland nymps” when we met, like her.

Here’s the other interesting part of this story. Both my wife and her mother had converted to Catholicism when she was a teenager, living in Ohio. Christel said she converted when her mother was living with this catholic guy named Scott for a couple years, who she said her sister and she really hated (because he was so strict).

Many times she talked about all the different things her and her sister would do to get Scott and her mother to break up, which eventually worked.

Christel also talked about how her mother had once had an extended affair with a Jesuit priest. It was weird, but I could almost hear the excitement in her voice when she would talk about it. It made me wonder if she was also sleeping with a priest, or the same priest? It wouldn’t be the first time that Christel and her mom shared the same man.

One day in 2001, after dropping me off at this costume store in Eugene (because Christel decided to keep her $350 costume, and say it was stolen, forfeiting her $35 deposit).

She went to Father Marks office at St. Mary’s, where I met her a little while later. As she privately spoke with Father Marks, I waited in the outside office with her younger daughter, and a dozen pink roses I had picked up. I could tell she was very upset that day, although she wouldn’t tell me why.

I don’t know if this had anything to do with it, but I learned about a week or two later from Christel that Father Scott from St. Mary’s had been transferred by Father Marks to a parish in Beaverton. At the time, I hadn’t made the connection, and why she needed to speak with Father Marks.

Then, around this same time, Christel told me she was dropping out of the University of Oregon, and would loose a year’s worth of credit hours! Apparently, she decided to transfer to Marylhurst University, which she said was a catholic school located just south of Portland.

The exact relationship between Father Scott’s transfer, and her own sudden transfer to Marylhurst, and then both of them ending up in Beaverton, is not exactly clear, although it’s obviously not just a big fat coincidence.

Rather than moving any where near Marylhurst University, which is located half way across Clackamas County, Christel got an apartment in Washington County. The apartment was located in Beaverton, just down the street and around the corner from Father Scott’s new parish. Of all the luck!

Not to mention, her “ex-boyfriend”, Rick, had also recently moved to Beaverton, and was coincidentally, also now studying computer science in Portland (just like me).

Earlier that summer, shortly after I had given her a diamond engagement ring, I could never get a hold of her. She admitted, she had turned off the ringer and that her and Rick had been together. When I asked her more about it, she explained it in this way.

She said on the night of July 3rd he came to her duplex in Springfield while she was sleeping. Then she claimed, since he still had a key, he came in to her bedroom and “raped” her.

Then the following day, as if nothing had happened, she and her girls went with him and his sister, and their kids, to a 4th of July fireworks display in Springfield.

When I learned about it a couple days later, I encouraged her to file charges against him, she started saying that it wasn’t rape, but more that he had pressured her in to giving him a “farewell fuck”!

Then shortly after she moved to Beaverton, one morning we found a note on her car that she said was from Rick. After she refused to read the note to me, or let me make a copy of it, we got into a big fight and broke up.

and so, because of how much she was “afraid” of me, she said she decided to had Rick stay with her a couple nights. She said she had him sleep on the couch the entire time and they never, ever did anything “sexual” (unlike the last time he showed up at her bedroom door).

So when we got back together, a week or so later, she told me that she had decided to throw away her birth control pills, which I found in the bathroom trash, right where she said they would be. And surprise, surprise, we found out she was pregnant (with what she said was my child).

While I don’t know for sure, if there was anybody encouraging the girls to do all these sexual things around me, and sometimes with me, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that either Father Scott or Rick were deeply involved in all of this subterfuge. Here’s why.

It all began that afternoon when the younger daughter came running down the hall, running right past her mother, and hopped on to my lap. She tightly wrapped her arms and legs around me and grabbed my neck. As I was pealing her hands away, she began leaning back, which caused her to grind her butt into me.

We struggled, as she continued to laugh. Then I pulled her hands free and lifted her into the air, just as the older daughter, who was also completely naked, unexpectedly came running down the hall.

As I sat back down, her mother may have giggled but said nothing to reprimand her younger daughter after I pulled her off my lap, as her older daughter ran past her mom and unexpectedly jumped on to my lap…falling forward, against me.

Instinctively, I reached out to grab her so she wouldn’t fall backwards. As my hands fell across her back side, my conscious brain suddenly realized she was also completely naked, and I quickly let go.

In that first instant, when my hands briefly touched her naked butt, I realized her bottom side and hips were a lot more round and filled out than I knew. She wasn’t the little girl I had imagined.

A part of me has to wonder, because I’m blind, if she simply wanted me to see how pretty she was.

You would be surprised how often women will push their bodies up against me, or just come right out and ask me if I “want to see what they look like?” And sometimes, they don’t even ask, just grab my hands and place them on their body.

Throughout these writings I have tried to offer evidence of how many times I could have been a willing participant in these crazy sex games. And it’s true, when the girls weren’t involved I often did, like the time in Eugene, when Christel and me rented a tandem bike and pulled off the bike trail into the woods for a quickie, as people were walking and riding bye.

And it wasn’t always overtly sexual. One evening in the summer of 2001, we took her blue Dotson to Autson Stadium. Christel and the girls screamed, as I raced the little car back and forth across the empty parking lot, at full speed.

So, rather than reaching back and grabbing her hands, as I did. I could have kept my hands on her backside and started wrestling with her, pretending to object to her closeness, while moving her into a “better position”.

Instead, back here in reality, instantly both of my hands dropped to my side. I remember looking in the direction of her mother, and giving her a questioning look, like, ‘What’em I supposed to do now’? Since it appeared her heavier ,and more determined daughter wasn’t willingly going to get off my lap.

As a healthy male, you can bet a secret signal was instantly sent to another part of my brain, about what was happening. However, in those first few moments I know my conscious brain completely ignored any thoughts of having a naked pre-teenage girl (and her round butt) firmly sitting on my lap, facing me, with her naked legs wrapped around my thighs!

From in the beginning, I mistakenly thought it would be best to just ignore the problem until it went away, or her mother screamed at her, like she usually did when the girls did anything she felt was “wrong”. Then she would start screaming and chase them around the apartment with a wooden spoon.

This usually worked, when I knew the girls were deliberately doing something to annoy me. But it didn’t take long to realize waiting for her mother to tell her to “STOP!” wasn’t going to work.

As most people know, long before the breast begin to develop, when a young girl’s bottom begins to fill out this is the first sign that her body is entering into womanhood, and potentially, motherhood. And as we all should know becoming a mother only takes a split second of direct contact between one single sperm and the female egg while she’s ovulating, even for some ten or eleven-year-olds.

A chemical signal is sent out to every sperm in the neighborhood during ovulation, instructing it as to how to find the waiting egg. And if the genitals of one or both participants are exposed, they may have no way to stop this natural biological process from occurring, once their genitals make contact.

Since the older daughter had already developed clear visible signs, such as pubic hair, there’s a small possibility she would ovulate any day, when this incident on the couch took place.

If true, and it sure seems like there’s no way Christel couldn’t have noticed her daughter’s new pubic hair. It should have been obvious to the mother of this developing young pre-teenage girl the risk she was letting her daughter take. By placing her naked, maturing vagina so close to, or touching, the barely covered penis of a healthy, fertile male.

At first, her naked butt was sitting on my bare thighs. And it was slightly closer to my knees then my crotch. And her arms and legs were loosely draped around my neck.

In truth, believe it or not, it wasn’t a total shock to find Christel’s older daughter this way. Although it was a little embarrassing, especially since she was facing me and I could feel her uncovered bottom sitting on my thighs. Not to mention, this entire time her knees were wrapped partly around my waist, trapping me between her thighs.

If a mature woman had gotten naked and surprised her blind lover in this same exact way, you would have to agree this entire scene would be incredibly romantic and sexy!

Is this why her mother laughed? Because she thought it was so cute?

Not to make excuses, but seeing someone’s face does really matter in the spur of the moment. Sighted people would tell you that seeing is always an advantage, but I can tell you that’s not true. But in those first moments, obviously it helps to have that additional information as the brain processes the situation and decides how to best react.

Imagine you were completely blind and your arm was suddenly grabbed by someone. The grip is tight and it may be a robber preparing to strike, and it’s more frightening because they’re saying nothing aloud, but instead it’s a deaf man who knows I’m lost and only wants to help.

At that instant, when you don’t know, do you fight or relax. It’s not so easy to decide anything quickly and know how to best respond when you’re completely blind. No matter who you are, you have to first gather enough information to know what’s best.

For me, it was a true moment of cognizant dissidence, having a naked, friendly not so little female body sitting on my lap, facing me, with her naked legs wrapped part way around my thighs, and her arms wrapped around my neck.

By this age, the older daughter’s bottom half wasn’t a whole lot different than several of the mature women I have known intimately in my life.

Before this, the older daughter and I had only hugged or once and awhile held hands while we were all walking around the mall or the grocery store.

I knew, or guessed, the girls would run around the house naked since I would sometimes hear their mother playfully scolding them about being naked. But until this one afternoon, I had never had any direct contact with them wile they weren’t wearing clothes.

Although, there was this one other time when for no reason they came and sat next to me while I was sitting on the couch. There was one on each side of me. Then they began leaning into me, and I began to suspect they weren’t wearing clothes, although I never touched them.

Then a half minute later, they both burst out laughing and ran away. I can only imagine how that particular pic or video must have looked to Bob Hermann’s ruthless Grand Jury?

So now I have to wonder, was their mother also filming them while they were running around naked, slapping my butt as they ran past…and maybe hoping I would reach out and touch them as they passed bye?

There were lots and lots of opportunities where I could have “accidentally”, or intentionally, fondled the girls butts or didis, and who knows, maybe that’s what a part of them wanted. But I never did, other than this one afternoon on the couch, when I could feel their naked bottoms bouncing on my lap, and I can’t lie, I could definitely feel the older daughter pushing her naked didi up against my crotch, although my reaction at the time was to ignore it.

Here’s the hard truth. Despite all the previous playfulness, from that very first instant when the older daughter decided (or was encouraged) to take off all of her clothes, including her underwear, and jump on my lap so I could “see” all of her, our relationship began to change.

And after she jumped on my lap, and then wrapped her arms and legs around me, and then moved her naked bottom even closer and began wrestling me for control, the nature of our relationship changed forever. Here’s why-

When she first jumped on me and fell forward, with nothing more than a very thin piece of cloth separating our most private body parts, we must have briefly touched. So while I ignored it, and my brain tried to focus on the game, I suspect both of our bodies immediately knew we had touched, and probably began to respond, physiologically.

As I said earlier, we know any amount of contact between the genitals of a male and female under the right circumstances can not only cause one or both of them to instantly become aroused, it can also result in the creation of a fertilized egg.

In fact, neither the male or the female need to be aroused, or the vagina completely entered, for the female to become pregnant.

If she were wearing clothes when this happened, and had jumped on my lap sideways, or only sat still, this wouldn’t be a real big deal, although certainly not appropriate for any young lady who was already entering puberty, and womanhood.

But instead, she first willingly took, or was encouraged to take, off every bit of her clothes, including her most private and protective piece of clothing, her panties!

Since I was wearing shorts, and had she been wearing at the very least underwear or swimming trunks, I’m sure it would have felt different then it did, sitting naked on my lap with her legs spread apart and our genitals bumping against each other. Even if I had inadvertently become a little aroused by the feel of her softness rubbing against me, it would seem very unlikely that any of my fluids, which are naturally released by the male body at the very start of any sign of being aroused, could have ever had even the slightest chance to enter her vagina…and ever had the chance to impregnate her, as I now must consider her mother may have been hoping would happen. That is, if she were at least wearing panties, but she wasn’t.

She intentionally, or was encouraged to, place her exposed vagina against me in the most intimate way possible, as though her or her mother, or someone else, planned it this way. And a moment later, when she moved even closer and began pushing in to, or on to, me, I discovered she wasn’t the shy little girl I had imagined, or at least not any more

From that very first moment it was obvious that our private parts were most likely touching. So knowing her daughter was completely naked and I was only wearing a pair of very thin nylon shorts; which in all possibilities could have already popped open one or more of its flimsy buttons while I was pulling the younger daughter off me

Or it’s possible I could have had a small amount of dried semen on these shorts from the night before when Christel and I were making out on the couch.

Her mother should have put an end to it. She should have immediately pulled her off my lap. Instead Christel only made it worse by giggling at my obvious embarrassment and confusion over what to do?

I would imagine I must have looked completely dumbfounded when this was happening. And this apparently only made all of them laugh more.

A few moments later when I reach back to unhook her arms and lift the older, heavier daughter to her feet, she grabbed on to my neck a little tighter, sliding her bottom half closer. At the same time she leaned her head back, which forced her lower half into me.

So, despite that I was wearing a pair of running shorts, I know at this point our bodies were definitely touching in the most intimate way possible, as her mom watched.

If it’s not obvious, here’s the problem with her mom doing nothing. Inadvertently, at the moment the older daughter moved closer to me the opening of her completely naked, completely exposed, and possibly ovulating vagina was now resting directly over or against what was already probably the beginning of a small erection!

Based on her age and experience (which I’ll explain later), any of this sort of physical contact with almost any man (or teenage boy) I would bet would cause any normal young girl around this age, to quickly also become aroused by the feel of a male penis touching her didi.

And if we wanted to be completely honest, she probably began to feel aroused at the very moment she pulled off her panties and thought about exactly what she would do when it was her turn. Because of all these new raging hormones rushing through her young, over-sexualized body, I would imagine the feeling of being naked and waiting for her turn to climb onto my lap, would very likely cause her body to react physically, whether she wanted it to or not.

So, to my surprise she didn’t get up, but just stayed right there with her arms wrapped around my neck, sitting on or against my unusual protruding anatomy — sitting on me in the most intimate way possible, until I was able to remove her from my lap, about a minute later.

Until now I hadn’t thought much about her own physical or emotional reaction to what was happening, and what it likely meant, but here’s what I think happened.

I remember, her head and body swayed forward and back while she was struggling with me, tightening her grip around my neck, and laughing. At the same time, when she leaned her head back her bottom pushed into me forcing even more contact between us. Because of the way her legs were spread wide apart, it’s not surprising nothing good would come from this situation…Yet her mother said nothing, just kept giggling, and apparently watching out of the corner of her eye (as maybe she promised she would do).

As I said, the only thing separating our most private body parts was a extremely thin piece of slightly damp, nylon cloth, which if I think about it now, probably wouldn’t have felt much different than if I had been wearing absolutely nothing!

Whenever she stopped moving, gravity and the downward pressure of her larger and rounder buttocks naturally forced me to begin to slide into the empty valley somewhere in between her fleshy bottom; Each time it seemed to draw me in further, as I felt her pushing down.

And as I began to feel her soft underside begin to firmly settle on to and around me, I tried even harder to pull her hands loose. I suppose, I was still expecting Christel to tell her to get off my lap! But she said nothing? Except to giggle more.

But there may have been something else going on in the oldest daughter’s mind at that moment…something that she may not herself have consciously been completely aware of, regarding the natural desires of her quickly maturing female body-

That is, knowing what I know about several of the males who were given unsupervised access to one or both of the girls.

For example, Christel began a sexual relationship with her older daughter’s father, Frank, when she herself was still a young minor, around fourteen or fifteen. Christel claimed the reason Frank had never found another girlfriend his own age, or any other girlfriend, was because of his obsession over having had a girlfriend [her] who was almost twenty years younger than him.

Christel also told me that several years later, while they were sharing an apartment in Roseburg, she came home unexpectedly and caught Frank having sex with an inflatable doll he owned.

She never told me, and I didn’t think to ask, but I have to wonder where their daughter was when this happened? It may explain why Christel kept her daughter away from Frank for most of her younger life.

In the age of sexual equality, we really shouldn’t consider a man’s right to pleasure themselves, privately, to be any different than any woman who chooses to lay in her bed and pleasure herself with a vibrator, dildo, or her own hand, while no one other than the NSA can watch, through one of those low energy light bulbs that weigh about two pounds. Or one of those low energy shower heads that weigh about four pounds. Or some other electronic device that happens to be in the room, like an alarm clock, radio, television, cell phone, or even the paint on the wall.

Yet simply because males usually leave behind physical evidence (that can be easily stolen), where females do not, we publicly threaten men who choose to pleasure themselves with blindness and endless ridicule, or something worse.

And simply because a male’s private parts are external, and therefore exposed during urination, where a female’s parts are mostly hidden, we punish men for urinating outside. And then we put them on this Nazi death list with most of the local “cripple” men, where Florida Ron, and the neighborhood psychopath-vigilantes, and a few of these “neighborhood watch weirdo’s, can legally torture them to death, while the police and DA look the other way!

Her father, Frank had always been single since I knew him, and I knew he had a young daughter who was apparently beginning to bloom, coming over and sleeping next to him on the floor.

Given all I’ve been through, is it fair for me to ask, what else would Frank do to fulfill his own healthy sexual appetite, especially after he gets a couple beers in him?

I would argue, that if anything like this ever did happen between the older daughter and any one of these males I’m abut to tell you about, it would be a pretty strong reason why they might want to secretly encourage the oldest daughter to try to have sex with me, and then report me to the police.

Detectives Marley and Oaes came to my home just before Thanksgiving in 2004, and I invited them in, because I had nothing to hide and ignorantly thought they might be able to help me and my son, Abraham. But they didn’t want to talk to me about anything inappropriate that involved my oldest step-daughter’s mother or father, or the grandmother, or her mother’s previous boyfriend, or his teenage boys (who were left alone with the girls over night dozens of times)?

I didn’t think anyone would believe her, given all the other crazy stuff that happen around there (under her mother’s nose)? A part of me always thought they were nuts to think any one would let them get away with this, but they did get away with it…so far.

Did she do this because Christel knew I never had any actual sexual contact with the older daughter, unlike perhaps one or more of the other males mentioned here, while she was presumably under her mother’s care?

Once wile we were living in Beaverton Christel said she had discovered a bottle of lotion hidden under a blanket on the living room floor, where Frank and their daughter had been sleeping. Obviously, finding a bottle of hand lotion while cleaning up doesn’t really prove anything inappropriate had happened. However, the reader would have to agree that finding some hand lotion where they had been sleeping is a little curious.

And there was one of Frank’s close friends, named Michael who liked wearing an elf’s costume around Eugene. Just after we met, he admitted to me in 2000 that he had been “convicted” of molesting a male child a year or two earlier. And when I asked, Christel said she knew about it.

So, despite Michael’s previous conviction and odd costumes, once on our way to Roseburg Christel decided that it would be okay to drop her oldest daughter off for the weekend at this abandon elementary school along I-5 where Frank was staying. Then when we were pulling out, Christel told me she could see Michael through her rear view mirror coming out from around the corner, dressed in an elf suit.

Apparently, Frank’s friend and his parents owned the abandon elementary school and were living there at the time.

So I have to wonder, if Frank had ever left her alone with Michael when he had to take a shower or dump? Or did he just take her into the shower with him? I know she didn’t seem to ever mind being naked in the tub with me and her mom.

Then there was Christel’s previous boyfriend, Rick, who I mentioned earlier and who she said had a “serious porn problem”. She said he also had two (obviously well-educated, horny) teenage boys who apparently had access to all of their dad’s pornography.

Before Christel and I became engaged in the summer of 2001, she told me Rick and his boys would often stay over night at the Springfield duplex. She also told me that there was always lots of explicit sexual material laying around Rick’s trailer, which was parked up the street at his sister’s house on Lawnridge. Obviously, there was always lots of porn available for the boys to “borrow” while their dad was busy upstairs.

So, do you suppose a fifteen -year-old boy, who spends his free time looking at his dad’s pornography, might want to experiment with a young girl, who coincidentally, wants to experience the sexual freedom that her mother and grandmother both seem to enjoy?

So after the younger kids fall asleep, who knows what went on downstairs, under the blankets?

When we first started seeing each other, she almost always gave her youngest daughter Benadryl in the evenings. The younger daughter was very hyper-active. So that’s why Christel said, it was to give her some peace of mind, but it may have also been to give everyone else some freedom and sexual privacy in the evenings.

So, it’s easy to imagine that while Christel and Rick were upstairs, there may have been some experimenting going on downstairs, after the youngest (and sometimes, the most annoying) sibling fell asleep.

When I began staying over night at her Springfield home, I noticed the girls would often spread a blanket out in front of the TV and fall asleep watching a movie while Christel and I stayed up stairs. So when Rick stayed over, I’m sure all of the kids figured out pretty quickly that no adults would be checking on them until morning…and all of them could safely explore their own sexual curiosities.

And it’ would be hard to believe that one or both of Rick’s boys wouldn’t have some interest in Christel’s older, sexually-curious daughter, who she often described as being “very pretty”.

I’m no expert on what happens to the anatomy of young girls who are only nine or ten-year-old and are having sexual intercourse, once or twice a month for almost a year, but I know almost all women will become more accessible the more often they have intercourse. For most females who are in a consensual relationship, this means the vagina will naturally become moist and begin to dilate when they are first aroused, regardless of the man’s size or their own previous experience.

Writing about all of this, reminded me of Beverly Marsh, an eleven-year-old female character in Stephen King’s book, “It”.

In chapter 22 of this book King describes how this victim of incest, who is being repeatedly raped by her father Mike Marsh, decided to have sexual intercourse with each of her six male companions. This is done to help the boys focus, so they can escape from the underground tunnels of Dairy and save Beverly’s “helpless ass”.

According to the book, King’s eleven-year-old heroin is able to do “it” with six boys in a row. And she did this without pain or lubricant (other than perhaps a little “Luger Marquise”).

Regardless of age, chapter 22 suggests the normal female body and mind is able to easily handle multiple sexual partners, both physically and emotionally. While I’m sure there are some adult, mature women who can, and do, enjoy this sort of sexual freedom, since Beverly is only Eleven, you have to wonder what Stephen was thinking about.

And since Stephen King and his creepy Jewish publishers didn’t say this, I will. All teenage boys who happen to find themselves in this circumstance should immediately realize this is a red flag that something’s wrong, so don’t make it worse!

This chapter is not only about seven Eleven-year-olds having sexual intercourse, it’s also about how young girls who are being molested can best contribute to the group when it comes to solving problems.

“Take off your panties and show us what you can do!”

If you haven’t read “It”, or forgot this chapter, I’ll refresh your memory. Better pull the shades and grab a cold towel.

In Chapter 22, Stephen King describes in great detail how the young Marsh girl is able to have two joyful orgasms with two of the boys and suffers from only a slight amount of burning, despite having intercourse with six consecutive partners (with no lubricant). Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

I suspect any experienced sex worker would tell you having vaginal intercourse with six consecutive partners (and have two orgasms with the last two partners) would be extremely difficult if not impossible. This would be extraordinary for any grown woman, let alone an eleven-year-old girl.

After her four previous partners, Beverly’s young vagina is able to quickly open up to and accept Eddie’s larger penis, who apparently (mostly because of its size) helps her to reach her first real orgasm. Way to go Stephen!

We know “Stuttering Bill” is the boy she really loves and wants to be with, and throughout the book the reader is rooting for them to hook up. Then Beverly at last rewards both Bill and the reader, by allowing us to listen to her most intimate thoughts and feelings, as they are slowly and sweetly making love. The reader is able to listen, as she describes having her second and best orgasm with Bill.

But honestly, what do we really learn from reading about children screwing each other? And according to the author, what’s the kids ultimate reward? And more important, what is the redeeming value of this particular “literature”?

We learn, the ultimate prize for all the boys, after all this gang banging, is that the boys are able to lead the helpless little girl to safety, now that she has shared her “love with all of them”, as King puts it.

So given all her adventurous experiences, it’s very possible Christel may have carefully arranged all of “IT” for me.

Let’s say, the older daughter had lost her virginity and was already sexually active when I moved in with her mother, by the fall of 2001.

I first met Frank and his daughter in the fall of 2000. Then I was introduced to Christel by Frank and their daughter in February, about eight months before we moved in together.

Knowing this, and knowing the lack of general supervision from her mother, the older daughter’s sudden brazen behavior, and genuine excitement over what was happening, suggests to me she may have gotten naked and done something like this with someone else before me…who may have not stopped. And it’s very possible that her mother knew about it.

On a couple different nights, and usually when she had been drinking a lot of wine, Christel encouraged me to play this one sex game where I was supposed to pretend she was a nine-year-old girl I was seducing. She wanted me to describe, step-by-step what I would do, and then do it, after we met in a park, or school, or somewhere else.

When I said something about being uncomfortable with this sexual fantasy, especially since she had begun telling me about her own sexual molestation as a child, she stopped playing this game.

I’m sure she remembered our conversation the next day and may have been embarrassed. because she never did bring this fantasy up again.

After this happened, I noticed she began to seem more distant, sexually. Did my unwillingness to play this particular fantasy disappoint her? I always wondered if that was the beginning of the end for us…and the thrill was gone.

One night while we were sipping wine, I carefully asked why she liked to play this particular sex game? She began telling me about how once her parents had taken her to this adult party when she was only nine. She said they gave her some LSD. Then she said she couldn’t remember much of what happened that night, other than remembering how her father and the other men had passed her around the room.

Can you imagine how it felt making love to the woman I loved in the same bedroom with this man’s ashes, that always seemed to be watching us from the foot of the bed?

If by age eight or nine, Christel had herself been with (raped by) a lot of adult men, including her own father, she knew that her daughter’s body, at the age of almost Eleven (and her vagina) were more than ready, physically-to have sexual intercourse with a grown man, if that’s what she wanted.

In other words, maybe Christel felt from her own experience that her daughter by this age was more than old enough to do anything her daughter (or anyone else who had her daughter’s consent), wanted to do, sexually. And from what i observed (after a few glasses of wine), Christel may have told her daughter something like this.

I’m not a psychologist, but maybe the only way Christel could cope with the trauma of being raped by all these men, including her own father, was to pretend it was consensual. And maybe in telling her daughter about giving consent, the message got a little mixed up.

So maybe they already had an understanding BETWEEN THEM, AND they agreed it was entirely her older daughter’s choice, and nobody else’s business. As a maturing young woman, she could decide when, how, and who she had sex with (or fooled around with), apparently including any of her mom’s “partners”?

And maybe THAT’S WHY Christel SAID NOTHING when she saw her oldest daughter begin to push her naked vagina into my lap, simulating sex, as long as no one was forcing her to do anything she didn’t want to do.

And maybe that’s why the older daughter didn’t have to stop, even when I asked politely.

As most of us know, within just a few seconds, a healthy man can become fully aroused from direct stimulation to his penis. While it’s not considered to be polite or generous (when with a partner), a man who has been aroused can ejaculate within five or ten seconds of becoming partially erect if stimulated in just the right way. This is no secret; Christel knows this. But yet she allowed this intimate contact to go on between her older daughter and me for almost a minute? And all of them made it seem so normal.

Maybe, as I said, she comes up with the idea of telling the girls she wants to test my virtue, and gets the girls to help her. The younger goes first.

Then she has her older, experienced daughter, place herself on my lap in the most intimate position possible, because she knew it was the quickest way to get us stimulated, physically, while she watched out of the corner of her eye. Especially if Christel knew her oldest daughter had been having intercourse with one of Rick’s boys at night, when they stayed over, but had gone a month or two without it.

So maybe Christel knew, as a woman, it would only take a small amount of contact to get her naked didi to become aroused, or perhaps, more aroused than she already was….waiting for her turn.

By getting her to wrap her legs around me in this way, perhaps Christel knew that her daughter’s most sensitive body part — the soft, fleshy skin along the inner lips of the vagina would very likely touch or bump against the tip of my penis.

She is guessing, for the reasons mentioned above, it will only take a few seconds of direct contact before her daughter’s vagina becomes moist, and even more accessible.

Almost everyone remembers having that first real lover; everyone knows, after you get past that first awkwardness, you, or more accurately your body, could never get enough touching! Boys or girls, it’s all you ever think about!

With our genitals bumping against each other, Christel knew her adventurous daughter, who only wants me to see how pretty she is, would quickly become aroused by this sort of contact.

And maybe she figured, I wouldn’t resist the “opportunity”, once I too became stimulated by the feel of having a naked, eager beaver rubbing against my barely covered penis!

As long as her daughter stayed there on my lap, sliding back and forth, while pushing down, Christel knew, or believed, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from participating in “the game”.

And Christel knows, once your in the game, it’s hard to get out. She just didn’t know how long it would take to get me interested enough to play.

Unlike her younger sister, the older daughter was a lot bigger in every way. I would say she was probably twice her sister’s size. And she was a lot stronger, which meant her grip around my neck and thighs was a lot tighter.

So, I reached back and arched my back, and tried to peal her arms from around my neck, which only made her struggle more.

And her mother’s laughter re-enforced her belief that this was okay, getting naked and, perhaps unintentionally, simulating sex with her mom’s boyfriend, while her mom watched.

Maybe in her young mind she thinks, “It isn’t like she’s really going to have real sex with her mom’s boyfriend!” So maybe when it began her brain convinced her it was only a game, and it was okay to pretend when she took off her panties and jumped on my lap.

Shortly after it started, and she felt my tip bumping against her didi, I suspect she inadvertently began to feel aroused. And suddenly, the game changed.

I could have sat perfectly still, waiting to be gratified by the soft feel of her developing underside settling down on to me, and let nature take its course. But that’s not what I did!

As I try to analyze what happen that fall afternoon, honestly, I would have to admit long, long before my conscious brain ever thought about it, a part of me already knew. I suspect my body recognized instantly the touch and feel of that familiar soft curve pushing against it, searching for something, and began to react.

Ironically, I remember wanting her mother to tell her to get off of me! So I wouldn’t have to be the “bad guy”.

I suppose, if she had lost her virginity and had been having intercourse with someone for awhile before this, then maybe this would explain why her body seem to want to force as much intimate contact between us as possible, as her mother vicariously watched, and silently gave her daughter the silent approval she needed to continue.

As much as I try to write down (and edit) my perceptions, I can’t seem to ever find the right words to explain just how truly weird this whole situation was!

As I said, it happened so quickly. It seemed as though the older daughter’s body, much like any mature woman, was subconsciously trying everything it could to slip over the tip, and pull me inside, as it may have started to do.

The older daughter’s motions were a lot slower and seemed more intentional, which only made the situation worse. As opposed to how it felt when the younger daughter’s bony butt slid back and forth across my lap, until I pulled her off.

As most adults know, the opening of the vagina will open wider during both stimulation and child birth. Only a conscious effort on the part of the female can sometimes prevent this natural response from happening.

So along with possibly causing the older daughter to become stimulated, my body was probably also beginning to release a small amount of semen. This is perfectly normal for any male during the first moments of arousal. It is similar to how a woman will sometimes have an orgasm while she is being raped.

And unlike a condom, I suspect the thin material of my running shorts would not likely prevent my semen from seeping through the thin cloth.

So the growing moisture on the tip, along with the slippery nylon cloth and her own moisture, in all truth could have acted like a lubricant, which may have made the opening of the labia and vagina more slippery and easier to penetrate. Especially if she was “experienced”.

On a side note, as most people know, the male sperm is an amazing ‘animal’. It is released from the penis at an incredible speed of over thirty miles per hour during ejaculation. While most of the fluid released from the penis is semen, and not actual sperm, the amount of sperm released during ejaculation can be in the tens of millions.

The sperm has only one true purpose in life; the sperm lives to find and penetrate the female egg. And the sperm is always waiting on the tip of any aroused penis, from that very first moment it has been stimulated.

Because of the sperm’s fierce will to survive, any amount of male sperm, even just one, placed on, or inside of, or any where near the outer lips of the vagina will recognize the signal immediately and do anything it can to get inside the opening, in order to make that long swim up the vaginal canal toward the fallopian tube in search of the unfertilized egg. It knows this is the only way it will survive.

You might say, it’s that wonderful “Sent of a Woman”, or more accurately, the enzymes in her vagina that psychotically draws the sperm from its resting place deep inside the male’s testicles out into the world, triggering the sperm’s natural desire to succeed at all costs.

At this point its the greatest race of all, a race to the starting line! Without some kind of contraceptive, or its death (not more than twenty-four hours later, unless refrigerated), the sperm will not be otherwise prevented from completing its mission, it’s mission to impregnate the egg and create life.

Just after she jumped on my lap, I remember saying something to the older daughter like “What are you doing?” And “Stop that!” And “Get off me!” As I said, I think she laughed at me at least two or three times, which made me laugh too. But she wouldn’t let go. Maybe I didn’t say it harsh enough to convey my concern about what she was doing to me, physically.

Intentionally or not, she seemed to have absolutely no reservations over the fact that she was rubbing her naked didi against me, and she was starting to stimulate me. It was as though my lap were the horn of a saddle she were riding in a parade, while her mother cheered us on!

Fact is, it was a no win situation for me from the moment the girls first took off their clothes and decided to jump on my lap, no matter what I did, or how fast I did it, I would be the villain.

Sad thing is, I knew in their own minds the girls were teasing me, playing another silly game, like they often did. I didn’t want to shame them or give them a good reason to begin hating me or all men by getting angry, as I had every right to do. And as I said, I nervously giggled at some point over the ridiculous situation, being held down and mounted by a frisky ten or eleven-year-old naked girl!

So, why would Christel let her older daughter get naked and sit on my lap, as if she were simulating having sex in this intimate, easily accessible position? Was she trying to get me aroused so I would do something sexual with her daughter.

Did she know about my Extra-Ablism and what would happen? Was she intentionally planting another seed in both of our minds that could possibly be cultivated later, if needed?

as I said, it happened so quickly. I didn’t realize it wasn’t a silly game any more, until those last few moments. It was the moment when I thought I felt a part of her vagina start to cover me, as she was pushing down.

I apologize for being so graphic, but it is very likely that what I felt at that moment was my tip slipping in front of her, in the space between her legs.

No matter what was or wasn’t happening, at that one moment it completely freaked me out!

So at that very instant, I panicked! That’s why I didn’t notice the older daughter’s own physical reaction. When I tried to pull her free, I felt her grab me around the neck and squeeze her thighs together, as though she were trying to do anything to hold me in place, like a pair of pliers.

Like I said, she wasn’t yet a young woman or at the age of consent, but she wasn’t a little girl either, physically or emotionally. And while I may not have thought about her physical maturity before this, my body had already figured it out, as I may have felt her soft underside instinctively close around me.

As most men know, a man can touch the opening of a woman’s vagina with his penis, his finger or the tongue, and the vagina will usually instantly open into a perfect circle, unless the woman is focused on not being entered.

After inserting the penis, finger or tongue into the opening, the opening will instinctively close around it in a way that can’t be described in words.

Simply the process of giving birth proves how powerful the woman’s vagina is!

When exercised, the vagina has the ability to take hold of something and not let go until it gets what it wants, which makes it almost seem like a woman inside of a woman.

I’m sure the girls would be embarrassed today to talk about what happened. And I apologize, and would prefer not to embarrass them by bringing any of this stuff up. But my life now depends on telling my side of the story!

As I will explain throughout this book, almost every day and night I am being assaulted in the crotch, feet, hands, scalp, nose and other more private places with some sort of invisible laser that can shock, burn, poke, sting, itch, or numb a part of you (and they can do this from well beyond the walls of your home or vehicle).

That’s why it’s critical that I tell this story now, unlike some whistleblowers, While I still can.

The one mistake I did make during the first twenty or thirty seconds when this happened was not reacting. I suppose I was Trying everything to ignore the seriousness of the situation, having a young, naked girl sitting on my lap with her legs spread apart, with her arms wrapped around my neck.

For a moment, let’s assume Christel had no part in this craziness, and maybe one or both of the girls were behind the plot to surprise me. And let’s say, Christel is distracted by her art, and doesn’t notice at first.

However, the reader would have to agree that from the very moment Christel saw that her Younger daughter was naked and sitting on my lap, she should have said something. And then, when she noticed her older daughter was also completely naked and sitting on my lap, facing me, with at most a couple inches separating our private parts, she should have immediately stood up and put an end to it!

She destroyed my life and stole my son, how could I not wonder if this is exactly what Christel wanted?

So the reader better understands how Christel reacted, and her own culpability in this, I’ll explain what happened during those last few seconds one more time. Skip these next two or three paragraphs if you like, but this is how it went. And more importantly, how Christel responded.

We were both kind of leaning back, as I was trying to pull her arms from around my neck, when I felt her bottom pushed down onto me, and I thought I could feel her body start to swallow the tip, as it slipped in between her legs!

Then a moment later, she threw her body against me, and buried her head into my neck. At the same exact moment she squeeze her legs and arms around me, even tighter. That’s when I roughly jerked her hands apart and lifted her into the air.

She never made a sound that would have let me know she was in any sort of pain, which I figured meant I had pulled her off me before anything serious had happened.

Here’s the point and why this level of honesty is needed. At this very second when this occurred I heard Christel laugh out loud, really loud!

It was as though something had burst inside of her. I now wonder, did Christel have an orgasm at that moment, watching this?

She must have seen the shocked look on my face when this happened. And she must have seen her daughter suddenly throw her body against me, burying her face.

Did seeing our reaction at that moment cause Christel to instantly become gratified?

I could tell by the laughter that followed, Christel seemed to be extremely titillated by the live entertainment, and didn’t care that things had suddenly gotten a lot more serious.

Except, here’s the really twisted part of this particular sex game.

As I said, at that one moment, when it happened, the older daughter limply fell against me and quickly buried her face into my neck, throwing her long hair everywhere, partly covering my face.

As I think back about it, I would imagine her daughter must have also been shocked by the sudden intimate contact between our most sensitive and most private body parts.

And I suppose it’s possible that her already aroused didi only needed that small, little tickle near her vagina to make it respond, as it apparently did when she pushed against me that last time.

that’s why today, I believe her older daughter may have had an orgasm at that moment. And it may even have been her first.

Based on how I recall it felt at the moment when her entire body instinctively tightened around me, I realize now this is the same exact reaction that happens when I’m making love to a mature woman when she’s having an orgasm, while she’s in my arms, or sitting on my lap in this way.

Obviously if she were a mature woman, I would have acknowledged her physical response by rubbing her back and holding on to her as tight as I could until it was over, but that’s not what I did!

The older daughter may not have understood what happened to her at that moment, other than suddenly feeling really dizzy and losing her breath.

Maybe a part of her wants to separate the memory from me. Maybe her body is telling her it felt nice, this strong physical sensation that for a moment took her breath away and made her feel warm all over.

But yet she feels ashamed, because she can’t separate me from the experience, which not surprisingly makes her feel angry.

She thinks to herself, ‘It wasn’t so confusing before this when Rick and the boys were around, and maybe she begins to hate me for it?

So after it happens, maybe she tries to tell her mom about her confusing feelings over how her body reacted so strangely when she was sitting on my lap.

She maybe says, ‘Mommy, I think I could feel it touching against my didi. Then I got this really weird tingle feeling all over, and I think I may have almost passed out.’

Her mother just plays it off and tells her it was nothing, and to just try and forget about it.

Except her mom knows exactly what happened and why her body responded the way it did.

Then maybe Christel begins to worry that someday her daughter might tell someone else? After all, it may have been Christel’s idea to get her daughters to take their clothes off and straddle my lap in a way that she knew, or should have known, would force some direct intimate contact between the lips of her vagina, and the tip of my barely covered penis.

She should have known that sitting in this way on my lap would likely cause her girls, especially her possibly sexually-active older daughter, to very quickly become aroused. And once she became aroused, maybe she knew her daughter would be motivated to keep going.

Christel had to know being completely naked with their legs spread apart while they were forcing the already parted lips of their developing vaginas down on to or against any male’s penis (and what would likely very quickly become a stiffening penis), their vaginas would, or could, be more easily penetrated by the man’s tip, accidentally or not. Especially the older daughter, given her age and anatomy, and her possible previous sexual experience (and her mom’s apparent complete consent to be sexually active, if that’s what she wanted).

As I said, it lasted just a couple seconds. I quickly reacted and firmly pried her hands lose from around my neck.

Because of the way her legs were wrapped around me, and her extra weight, only then was I able to begin to stand up and lift the older daughter off my lap and break any sort of intimate contact between our bodies.

I could have easily sat perfectly still at that moment and done nothing. I could have simply pretended to be an unwilling participant as this young naked pre-teenage girl was unknowingly spreading the lips of her completely exposed vagina against the stiffening tip of my almost naked penis, and wiggling around at the same time she was pushing down.

You see, if I had sat perfectly still and not pulled her off my lap, and if she had already lost her virginity, it may have only taken another half minute or so before I was able to slip inside the opening, and we actually began copulating!

I can assure you that if this had happened my brainless friend, with no help, would have responded to the moisture and intimate contact, and probably ejaculated within another ten or twenty seconds!

My point in describing this possible outcome in such graphic detail is to make the reader understand how damn easy it would have been for me, or any actual sexual predator, to take advantage of this “amazing opportunity”.

But that’s not what I did! And only a righteous asshole could blame me for any of this craziness!

And god knows, If I had ever knowingly ejaculated anywhere around either of the girls for any reason at all, No one, including me, would ever defend my participation, regardless of the circumstances.

But that never happened. And it was the choice I willfully made more than once.

As is so often the case in America today, and as my story proves, once again “they” were able to crucify the poor man. And you have to ask, how many of these other straight men who are shooting people every day feel the same way as me? In that, there is no more hope for most of us straight guys in America, whether it’s school, the job, or in the courts.

After all of this, Christel said nothing as her younger, still naked daughter came running back down the hallway again. I mistakenly sat back down, thinking the three of them were done having their fun trying to embarrass me.

I had just started to relax, when a moment later I felt the younger daughter jumped back on to my lap.

This time I quickly stood up, preventing her naked bottom from having any further contact with me, as Christel continued to laugh.

After words, I could tell by their extremely nervous laughter that both of the girls were very likely sexually gratified by the entire experience, even if the younger one didn’t understand why.

So you understand, this entire “game” is a typical form of classical “grooming”, of a child. often The adult predator will get their victim to “play a game”, with the intent of getting them aroused, or at least curious about, and desirable for, this strange sexual sensation. By getting the child to laugh while it’s happening, the young or inexperienced person is more likely to feel comfortable and more easily give into the feeling and continue to “play the game”.

Between adults, this is part of the normal seduction process, but when an adult does it to a child, even if they use someone else as the vehicle or instrument, it can be considered criminal. And don’t just assume that the adult who arranged the “game” will be the one held accountable, especially when it’s the hot mom setting it up!

So as a warning to any straight man who is dating a woman with female children, I graduated college with honors in pre-law, yet I was still too dumb at the time to realize the full ramifications of what was happening in that family even though I was right there when a lot of it was going on. So don’t be a dumb ass like me!

I was stupid enough to completely trust and believe their mother knew, and assumed all mothers instinctively know, what is and is not appropriate behavior for sexually-curious young girls when a man is around.

And the truth is that Christel may have known the whole time how inappropriate this was, but needed to have something she could use against me, if necessary.

Acting sexually inappropriate around others was something Christel had been doing herself, throughout her life, including once being arrested in Kingman, Arizona for indecent exposure.

So maybe she knew that she would be unlikely to change, and she wanted to have something to make sure her partner would be okay with it, even when it included her daughters, or other men.

After being accused by her in the fall of 2004 that I had acted inappropriately while we were living together in Beaverton, I learned from her sister and her ex’s that there were at least six other men Christel had previously accused of some sort of sexual abuse, including her own step-father, Al. This is probably why Al’s new wife really hated Christel. And why her Aunt in Klamath Falls also hated her, according to Christel.

Obviously, she couldn’t blame her own father, could she?

Young girls will very likely try to imitate their mother’s behavior, good or bad. And maybe that’s what made this relationship an unnegotiable dilemma from the beginning, even if I never figured it out until long after it was over.

Every woman I ever dated who had a daughter was always aggressively-protective of them whenever any grown man was around, so living with this family of frisky females, as a blind man, was quite a shock, as you can imagine.

Even before we met, I know the girls were being groomed in one way or another by most of the adults around them to obsess over sex and their “didis”, in a way that I now for sure know was not healthy or appropriate. No one can ever say our dinner conversations were exactly what you might call normal, but what is “normal” in the wild west isn’t the same as most of the places I’ve lived.

Perhaps this one conversation about young French girls Christel and I once had late one night may be the best example of her thought process around sex and her girls. This incident is another example of how Christel would often share with me, and probably many of her male partners, information about her own girls, or young girls’ in general, and their vaginas, and their ability and desire to have sex.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, talking about penis’s, vaginas, and all the different ways of having sex, was one of Christel’s favorite topics when we were alone, especially if she was drinking a little wine.

Intentionally or not, I now know Christel was also grooming me. I believe she was grooming me to feel comfortable with, and desirable for, having sex with her older daughter.

And who knows, maybe it came from guilt she felt over having these other secret intimate relationships. Since she knew her daughter was sexually active already maybe a part of her just wanted me to be happy too, and may have been willing to look the other way if that’s what me and her daughter both wanted?

And besides, she thinks what power she would have over me to do what ever she wanted if she could only get me to penetrate her daughter’s young vagina once, even if it was only the tip of my finger. She knows once any part of me touches, or passes through, her daughter’s young vagina, it would be more than enough to send me to prison for a long, long time.

Maybe she was hoping to say, “I know what you did today with her while I was gone, and I’m willing to keep this between the three of us. We’ll think of it as a ‘family problem’.”

“But there’s going to be some new rules around here, and from now on, we girls get to decide everything that happens and doesn’t happen.

So here’s the first rule,” she says. “You will never again be allowed to question my other relationships. From now on, I’ll be with anyone I want, any time I want. Of course, I’ll keep it away from home.”

You see, I know this part is true. Both Christel’s daughters know their mother was cheating on me. They know I gave their mother an expensive diamond engagement ring and was obviously, very in love with her. They knew I brought her flowers all the time, and sometimes surprised her by leaving them on her door step when she lived in Springfield.

But the girls also knew I had my suspicions and would sometimes question them about their mom’s strange and inconsistent explanations about where she had been OR WHY SHE WOULDN’T ANSWER THE PHONE last night. Perhaps, the girls were worried about how I might react if I found out all three of them had been keeping these secrets.

All I ever did was to try to not take the never ending drama and daily nuttiness too serious, and try to fit in, apparently, like Rick did.

So maybe one morning Christel decides to tell her oldest daughter exactly where she’s going .

she’s going out to see another man, or another woman. And maybe she tells her daughter she’s going to leave her alone with me for the whole day, like they talked about.

And before she leaves, Christel maybe says something like, “Don’t worry, sweetie. “He’s a gentle man, but I’m guessing he’s not exactly what you would call a gentlemen.” They laugh.

Maybe she says, “I know you’re now a young woman, so it’s up to you to decide what you do with your own body and who you do it with. Don thinks your sick, so he agreed to stay home with you so I wouldn’t have to miss school.” Understanding exactly what her mother is telling her, they both smile and hug.

“I promise, I won’t be back before three, so there’s nothing to worry about, nobody will be checking in on you guys’, but call me if you need anything.”

Her mom didn’t return that afternoon until almost four o’clock.

And maybe that’s why Christel picked out a back scratcher for her daughter to give to me that year for Christmas? Maybe it was to let me know that her daughter would scratch my back, if I agree to “scratch her’s”…and don’t worry so much any more about what her mom’s up to (if she doesn’t happen to answer her cell phone or comes home late.

So, knowing her mom is off cheating on me, the older daughter begins to think about it. Maybe she’s thinking to herself, if she could get me to join in on any of these games, even just a little, I would no longer have any right (or perhaps, any good reason) to get angry at her mother for seeing other men.

Maybe she thinks in her immature mind, if everyone’s cheating on everyone, then who cares? After all, her grandmother has a boyfriend in Eugene, Dr. Bill Mitchell, who is also married. “Her grandmother regularly visits him when she comes to town, and John doesn’t seem to mind or want to know where she is when he calls.”

So the older daughter is feeling a lot of guilt about not telling me what she knows about what her mother’s been doing with these other men, behind my back. Up till now as far as she knows I’ve been completely faithful to her mother, which is true.

So she asks herself, “So if something really did happen between us, would it really be like cheating?”

When her mom leaves she starts thinking about what she wants to do, or not do. She hasn’t decided exactly how far she would be willing to go with me.

And she thinks to herself, if she can get me to play around with her, even just a little, “After today, nobody will have any right to complain about anything. And nobody’s feelings will get hurt any more.”

And by doing this, she gets to be the peace maker for the adults, which deep down is every kid’s desire.

Other than sometimes around her younger sister, I would describe the older one as being a sensitive and compassionate person toward others. So keeping a secret like this for her mother must have been causing both her and her sister a lot of emotional distress.

So maybe in her young mind, knowing how much I love to make love to her mother, just like Beverly Marsh and her magical vagina, she’s gonna do everything she can to try to make everyone “feel better”; she’s gonna do her part to make everyone happy…and put an end to all this bitterness.

Maybe a seed had been carefully planted in the older daughter’s mind by her mom or Rick, her grandmother, or her dad, or maybe one of her friends. The thought that if she went along and actually did “it” with her mom’s boyfriend, someone she’s known longer than her mom has known, there wouldn’t be any more angry arguments about all of her mom’s secrets?

Maybe she thinks to herself sub-consciously, and 75% of our brain is spent in sub-conscious thought, “It’s not like washing the dishes. Besides, I likes sex.”

That’s when she starts consciously thinking about how she might go about it, as her mom is getting ready for “school”. Her mom suggests, “Maybe you should take a bath?”

She begins to imagine herself sitting on my lap, like it was on the couch. Except this time it’s in the tub, which is filled with hot water and bubbles. And maybe she thinks to herself, “This time it won’t be so easy for him to lift me off his lap. That is, if he even wants to?”

Guilt is a powerful motivator, especially for young people. I don’t blame either of her daughters for anything, but the fact is on several occasions the older daughter did behave as though she, or her body, wanted to have some sort of sexual contact with me. And it became obvious that both of the girls were very interested in their own sexuality, and weren’t ashamed of it.

And probably under different circumstances, with one or more healthy biological parents where they could discuss their sexual feelings in a healthy way, this wouldn’t be as big of a problem as it was for us.

If what was happening was that I was being seduced by a young girl who had apparently reached puberty nine or ten months earlier, and had recently begun to ovulate. And she knew, she had her mother’s permission to do what ever she wanted to do, there are two really big problems with this arrangement:
First, no matter what her mother told her about her own experience, the older daughter was way too young to know what she really wanted, sexually, even if someone had been grooming her to feel comfortable about expressing her own sexuality with anyone she wanted.

Here’s the second problem. Even if I did agree to go along with any of these “great opportunities” to have some sort of secret sexual relationship with the older daughter (and I never did, willingly or knowingly), it would make me a far worse cheat then Christel.

And maybe Christel knew this. So maybe she was willing to leave her alone with me and go ahead and let it happen, at least once (and sacrifice her daughter’s virtue). That is, if it gave Christel the power over me she needed to excuse her own bad behavior.

You see, if I ever went along with “the game”, unlike her, I would be cheating on her with a child! And all her affairs (with adult men) would be irrelevant in the eyes of the law.

So maybe she figured she just needed to leave me alone with her sexually-curious daughter to get me to take the ” bait” she was offering.

As I mentioned, when the older daughter jumped on my lap five or six months earlier while I was sitting on the couch I discovered to my surprise she had already developed the same sort of round bottom any mature, petite woman would have. And since I knew she had started developing pubic hairs sometime that previous summer, perhaps I knew in the back of my mind that fall, that she may have only been days away from having her first period when I felt her warm underside pushing against me.

There’s no way her mother wasn’t also aware of this, when she allowed her older daughter to sit on my lap, facing me, while she was naked.

And maybe that’s why I suspect she decided that fall, and definitely by the following spring, that her daughter was old enough to serve as her surrogate, and have sexual intercourse with me, if that’s what the oldest daughter wanted to do. And that’s exactly how it seemed.

Even if she didn’t have breast yet, Christel should have (and I believe did) notice that her older daughter had already begun filling out below the waist. And I suppose there are other people who know for a fact, besides Christel, that her older daughter had also begun growing pubic hair by the fall of 2001.

So, if Christel knew her older daughter had already been experimenting, sexually, maybe she also told her mom that she really liked “doing it”. In some ways, they were very honest with each other, and sharing these sort of intimate details about her sexual feelings wouldn’t be surprising.

It would explain why Christel would let her older, sexually-experienced daughter fool around with me in this way, even though I was a grown man. It might also explain why Christel might be willing to let her do anything sexual she wanted to do with me, as long as she wasn’t being forced by anyone else to do it. Apparently, this didn’t include being manipulated by her mother.

It’s possible that her mother knew, or suspected, the older daughter had already had as much sexual experience as a lot of fifteen or sixteen-year-old American girls. Why would she mind if she saw her naked daughter rubbing her vagina against me, which Christel could enjoy, vicariously?

Putting on my science hat, and briefly speaking from a strictly physiological analysis, I know every time a female has intercourse her vagina is being trained to respond to the feel of the penis entering her, by first opening wide and then closing around it, like a glove.

Based on my personal experience, I know from this point forward, regardless of age, each time the female is entered her vagina will instinctively open wider and become moist even quicker. And if she is anxiously thinking about it before hand, while she’s taking off her clothes and waiting for her turn, this same physiological reaction will likely begin to occur well before she has ever been touched, making penetration of her vagina faster and more possible.

When I was around fourteen or fifteen I remember having my first real sexual relationship with a pretty neighbor girl with long strawberry blond hair who was, around twelve or thirteen when we met.

I would watch her from my upstairs bedroom window, jumping up and down on the trampoline. Her hair would spread out like wings, and sparkle in the sunlight. She was very beautiful and I was very attracted to her.

About four or five months later our sexual relationship began. She would call me when her parents would leave, and take me back to her bedroom. Her older brother would stand watch and let us know when they returned.

The first couple times we had sex, I remember we agreed to only put the tip of my penis part way inside of her since in the beginning it caused her a little discomfort.

As I understand sometimes happens, she never did bleed that first or any other time, although I’m pretty sure she was still a virgin when we began seeing each other.

However, after having intercourse a few more times, there was no longer any physical or emotional barrier preventing me from entering her.

Despite her young age, after a short time of being sexually active she told me how much she liked it, not only with her words, but also by the way she instantly became wet when I touched her. And by the way she began to completely open her body to me whenever we did it.

Regrettably, our relationship only lasted about seven or eight months.

She was the third girl I had ever been intimate with.

Sometime that summer, my sister took me to a keg party. Then that night, one of her girlfriends from school I knew that had once spent the night with my sister, took me by the hand and pulled me out the back door. She took me into this overgrown field next to the house and we did it.

Although honestly, the only part I remember about it was trying to franticly get my pants back on, hearing the sound of my sister’s voice in the dark frantically calling out our names, “Don! Chris! Where are you! DON! CHRIS!”

But my first time, when I was almost fifteen, was pretty crazy, so maybe this is a good place to share it with the reader.

earlier that summer, my sister’s new boyfriend invited me to crash at his house, since we both played guitars and sometimes sang together when he came over to visit my sister.

His dad worked nights, so one night after his mom went to sleep he took me to his younger sister’s room, who was barely thirteen-years-old, and told me she was experienced. He said she had gotten pregnant a few months ago and had an abortion, and that she couldn’t get pregnant any more.

I assumed he meant she was on the pill, although I didn’t know much about using protection. I had never seen a rubber, and wouldn’t have any idea how to put it on. So I had no idea why he was telling me all this stuff about his sister.

But I wondered later, if maybe she was pregnant at the time, and had missed her period, and they became worried, so they made a plan. In other words, maybe it was all a big lie, that she had once had an abortion?

So they needed someone else to blame, in case she was pregnant, before asking their parents for an abortion. He always seemed a little nervous, and I never figured out why, but I wonder.

You have to admit, it was a very generous offer, to offer his sexy, well-developed little sister for sex, to a virgin. Most guys are more protective then this, when it comes to a baby sister.

He said he would be back in awhile and left me alone with her. He probably snook out and hooked up with my sister, at the gravel pit?

When he first brought me into her room, I noticed right away his sister was laying on the bed, under the blanket. As soon as her brother left, she invited me to join her. So I took off my shoes and laid down beside her.

Then, she grabbed my hand and pulled it under the blanket, I was startled and jerked it back, thinking it must have been a mistake…since to my surprise, I realized at that instant she wasn’t wearing clothes!

The second time she did it, a couple minutes later, I knew it wasn’t a mistake, and so we did it twice (my first time) before her brother came back to get me.

Despite my clumsiness, I’ll always remember how sweet she was to me, as I stumbled my way through her secret garden, in search of something…that I’ll never forget.

So back to the story about the young French girls and their vaginas. I don’t remember what Christel said they were called, but one night she excitedly began telling me about how the French would give their young daughters a special kit. She didn’t actually say whether or not she had given each of her daughters one of these kits, and I never asked, but she left the impression that she had.

Apparently, according to Christel, these kits are first given to girls at around five or six-years-old. She explained, the kits consist of a number of tubes that vary in size. The young girls are instructed to insert them into the opening of their vaginas when they go to bed.

As the girl grows she is encouraged to increase the size of the tube she inserts. Christel said, this is done to get French females to become comfortable with, and desirable for, the feel of having a man’s penis inside of them.

I had lots and lots of chances to fondle the girls’ genitals, if I wanted to- And as mentioned above, on one afternoon, I had the “perfect opportunity” to rape the older daughter several times, and even may have been able to use her mother, as well as her own guilty feelings, against her to get away with it. But that’s not what I did, as I’ll explain.

There was this one morning in late January or February, or maybe early March, of 2002 when the older daughter was left home alone with me. We were living in Beaverton, and I was working on the computer when it happened.

She yelled out to me (in her most “sexy-sounding” voice). “Oh Don, would you please bring me a glass of ice water pretty please?”

I was soon to learn, she was taking a bath (and the bathroom door wasn’t locked, but instead, left wide open).

So when I came to the door with a glass of water, she quickly stood up and asked me to hand her the glass. And when I walked toward her, she very quickly leaned her body over the tub, intentionally leaning into me. I felt her bare chest touch me. Obviously, she wanted me to know she was naked, or at least naked from the waist up.

As she sipped the water, she leaned in to me even more, as though she were going to fall. We probably would have only needed to lean our hips slightly forward another inch or so and our lower halves would have been touching (just like it was when we were sitting on the couch).

Right then, if I were a pervert, I could have wrapped my arms around her and started gently grinding my hips into her, waiting to see how she responded; waiting to see if she would become aroused, or maybe more aroused, by the touch of my genitals pressing against her naked skin.

This is just a hunch, but because of what happened on the couch, I suspect she wouldn’t have pulled away from me… But what would she have done if I had quickly pulled off my shorts, While continuing to rub against her? And if she had already been sexually active, and was given something for her cramps by her mother, how far do you suppose she would have gone, (with a little more encouragement from her mom’s boyfriend)?

And maybe at the same time, maybe I say something funny like, “I love your outfit. Is it your birthday?” And she shyly giggles and says, “No”, and we both laugh!

As I felt her relaxed body leaning into me, it was as though I could hear her thinking, ‘If you’re interested, maybe we could continue where we left off when we were on the couch or in the bed together?’

Imagine this. She is standing directly in front of me, leaning against me, completely naked. Of course, that is, I would assume she was completely naked, but who knows, she may have been wearing underwear or swimming bottoms, or maybe a thong. But I don’t think so.

As soon as I handed her the ice water, and I felt her lean into me, I tried to guess what she was thinking. I kind of knew that she was teasing me once again,maybe testing my character, and waiting to see how far I would go. Or maybe it was nothing more than she was trying to play the big girl that day?

Honestly, I was both embarrassed and probably a little flattered that she trusted me enough to be naked while we were alone. But I also immediately wondered, why was she acting this way, getting naked, drawing a bubble bath, and then tempting a healthy, grown man with her young, developing body?

Before this happened I had once or twice overheard her and her mother talking about this subject, talking about her daughter’s absolute right to explore her own sexuality how and when ever she wanted. I overheard them say something like this, but I assumed it meant sometime in the future when she was a few years older, but I may have been wrong.

More specifically, I overheard them saying something about the older daughter having a right to have privacy when she was with her boyfriend, and her right to choose who she had sex with, and when she had sex, if that’s what she wanted.

As I said earlier, the sad truth was that maybe she knew her mother was with someone else that afternoon, and either her, or maybe her and her mother, decided that it would be okay to offer me some of her attention? I know her mother and her grandmother had both of the girls lie many times to John and me about their affairs.

Maybe that’s why her mother left her alone with me for the day, because they both felt guilty about Christel being with someone else that day?

So for a moment, I played along with her, partly because I didn’t want to embarrass or shame her by pointing out how suggestive this looked, the way she was Leaning her wet, naked chest against me? But I also didn’t want her to hate me, even if I still hadn’t figured out what game we were playing.

I remember being barely thirteen, and hanging out in the basement during one of my sisters slumber parties. One of her girlfriends really like me, and kept coming over and sitting on my lap. At this point, I had only kissed a girl once, romantically, so I had no idea how to respond to all this friendly attention.

She was a really attractive, slender girl with dark auburn hair that went almost to the floor. She was around one year and a few months younger than me, but to my surprise, wasn’t the least bit embarrassed about sitting on my lap when my mom walked bye.

I remember, she asked me several times if I thought she was pretty, and I said over and over”Yes, of course you are,” and told her several times that I thought she was “really pretty!”

But ignorantly, I said something stupid like, “When you get breast you’re going to be really, really beautiful!”

Not surprisingly, , she didn’t take it the way I intended, and spent the night in the bathroom, crying.

So along with being cast out of the party, and never having the chance to tell her how sorry I was, my mom gave me a real good scolding for being “such a little creep!”

So I suppose I could have humiliated my soon-to-be step-daughter and sarcastically asked her “What would your mother say if she knew you were acting like this around her boyfriend?”

But who knows, maybe her mother knew exactly what she was going to be doing that day, and suggested she take a bath with me?

Unlike what happened on the couch or what may have happened when we were all in the bed together, I never became aroused by any of this silliness (although perhaps a little nervous in the beginning, not knowing what she had on her mischievous mind).

Almost all men, once they become aroused (by the sight and touch of a fertile, naked female), would think any female who knowingly put herself into this sort of situation was sending a clear sign of “consent.

And it’s difficult to turn it off once this ancient message is sent to the masculine brain. There are more than a few males out there who would find it extremely difficult to resist the implied offer. Obviously, she, or her mother, decided I wouldn’t be effected by this same sort of close physical contact.

I remember a part of me was feeling a little unsettled at the time, being alone with a young naked girl who may have been already old enough to become pregnant, But I knew she was safe with me (even though here she was once again, completely naked, touching me with a part of her body). And this time, there was no one else home.

The challenge was to reject her, without making her feel rejected. I remember thinking I didn’t want her to hate me, or hate all men, or feel ugly or undesirable. One thing I learned long ago was how insecure and emotional young girls around this age feel when men or older boys are around.

Almost immediately, when I felt her bare chest lean into me, a part of me wanted her to understand she was once again playing a very, very dangerous game by behaving this way around any grown man. And I felt she ought to know that there are more than a few men (or boys) who are a lot stronger than her, and who wouldn’t stop until they got everything they wanted, finding a young, attractive naked girl standing in front of them in a bubble bath, with water dripping from every where, including her new fuzzy pubic hairs!

All young people need to understand that when it comes to “sex”, even the very best plans can sometimes go very bad, very quickly.

And every young girl should know, just because some man happens to be their mom’s boyfriend doesn’t mean he should be trusted any more than any other man, such as a teacher, coach, or bus driver who has some sort of temporary custody over them.

Why in the world any young girl would ever let herself be alone with a grown man, who isn’t her father, while she’s standing naked in a bath tub filled with bubbles, is itself very troubling.

However, any man who would take advantage of a young girl like this, who maybe mistakenly thinks she’s only playing a harmless game with her mom’s boyfriend, would very likely also try to figure out some way to get away with it.

The two fictional sexual encounters described below, involving an adult male and a young developing female, whether it was, or later became, “consensual”, is a serious sex crime.

Regardless of whether or not one or both parents had encouraged this sort of inappropriate playfulness around strangers, all young people should know one thing about the rapist.

The rapist, when it is an acquaintance, I suspect will very likely do anything to convince his or her victim that they [the rapist] are not the one responsible for what just happened. And most people are raped by someone they know, not by complete strangers.

Make no mistake, all young females should never, ever put themselves in to this sort of situation, being completely naked in front of any male (other than perhaps a very little brother).

For example, If my girlfriend’s daughter didn’t feel well that day, as she claimed, and if she felt she needed a hot bath, why didn’t she take a bath earlier, before her mother left. Christel left the apartment around 9 or 9:30?

Did her mother know she was planning to take a bath after she left, or think to ask her? This would be extremely puzzling, if her mother knew why she was staying home (she was starting her period) and didn’t ask this question?

Knowing how almost all females on earth are programmed by men to feel dirty because of this natural biological function, why wouldn’t her mother think to ask her if she wanted to get a bath before she left?

I’m not blaming her for wanting to stay home, especially if the older daughter had unexpectedly started her period, or was cramping?

That would explain a lot of this. She didn’t seem “ill” or bed ridden, because after she finished her bath, she asked if we could play some music. So I hooked up my equipment, then she sang and I played guitar for about an hour.

A few days before her mother would start her monthly cycle, she would become really, really horny, if I can be so blunt. It got where I would keep track of what day of the month it was so that I knew when she would want, or need, more physical attention.

And during their period, most of the women I knew intimately would often insist on being in the tub or shower when we made love, which is perfectly understandable.

Was my girlfriend’s daughter simply wanting to be touched there, to make it feel better? After getting in to the warm bath, Was it something she decided to do on the spur of the moment, just simply hoping in the back of her mind I might be able to, if I can be so politically incorrect, comfort her aching didi?

Is that why she wanted me to bring her some ice cubes?

Maybe she just wants it to stop hurting, and can’t seem to think about anything else. And since I was there, and we were home alone.

I have been told in confidence by more than a few women, that when their just starting their period their vaginas will actually ache. And they would tell me that firmly rubbing the clitoris and the lips of the vagina with my fingers (or a cube of ice) would give them great relief (and usually cause them to eventually have an amazing orgasm).

Perhaps the failure of many men to understand and appreciate a woman’s body, and in some cases even be turned off by touching a wet vagina, is probably why some women seek other women for comfort.

The fact is, women like to have the clitoris and the lips of their vagina gently licked (and once is never enough), something many men refuse to do.

While I can’t speak for gay men, many straight men prefer the thrusting of intercourse. I would guess that it’s likely the male brain figures this is the most direct route to reach the ultimate goal of orgasm. Which the primitive brain knows is the only way to impregnate the female and continue the species.

To the subconscious male brain, there is only one real way to feel pleasure, while women know, there are many ways. Not to mention, making sure both partners almost always reach orgasm is one way a couple can emotionally bond, which will definitely improve their relationship.

In addition, similar to breast milk, the immune systems of men may also benefit from the consumption of vaginal fluids.

In 2010, NPR did an informative story about a study by the National Academy of Sciences in which they found that babies born vaginally were more healthy than babies born using cesarian sections. In the study, they found that during birth the babies who were exposed to the good bacteria of vaginal fluids were able to colonize the mother’s good bacteria. and babies that were removed from the womb by cesarian sections did not receive this benefit. Then they began swabbing the babies born cesarian with vaginal fluids, they discovered that the babies were able to significantly improve their immune system because of the good bacteria.

Maybe we can conclude that performing oral sex on a woman may have other health benefits to men that we are not aware of. And perhaps women and their bodies are the real Fountain of Youth?

Thinking back, I have to also wonder if her mother had given her “something” for the discomfort? Maybe Benadryl, or maybe she gave her something a little stronger she had tucked away for a rainy day?

At the time, she didn’t seemed stoned to me, and I would have never suspected it. But it would kind of make sense that her mother might have given her something if she was complaining about having a lot of cramps that morning. And this might explain her silliness and why she was leaning against me the way she was?

But why wouldn’t her mother also consider the possibility that giving her daughter any sort of “medication” might also cause a young, sexually-curious daughter to lose some of her inhibitions, being left alone for so many hours with her mother’s boyfriend?

I know this might sound crazy, but was that Christel’s plan, and maybe perhaps her fantasy?

Did she give her something, like maybe some of her valium before she left, and then suggest that her daughter soak in a hot tub (to make her feel better), hoping this time something sexual might transpire between us (while no one was watching) (except perhaps, the hidden camera)?

So for educational purposes, let me explain to every parent who may be reading this sexually graphic chapter (despite my warning) exactly how this could very easily happen to your daughter if she ever did anything as crazy as this for any reason.

In this alternative version, with an alternative boyfriend, let’s say, since she’s already standing up to take the glass of water from me, I take her by the elbow and with one swift motion easily lift her from the tub. I pretend to need her help with something on the computer, something I need her to read, “Right away!” Which would have sounded very sincere, since this rapist does want her help with something that can’t wait.

She’s probably a little confused, but doesn’t resist, as she steps out from the warm, bubbly water onto the bathroom floor. Maybe then I hand her a towel to make her feel more comfortable.

Then before she knew what was happening, I pull a knife from my shorts and put it to her throat and tell her in the meanest voice possible, :Don’t make a fucking sound!”

Within a few seconds I’m fairly sure, despite my blindness, I could have easily pushed her into the master bedroom and locked the door behind us. After moving her on to the bed, where no one would likely hear her cry or call for help, I could have easily slipped off my shorts and climbed on top of her.

Pushing the knife to her throat, I could have used my weight to hold her down, and used my legs to force her thighs apart, likely with little resistance…exactly the way she was when we were on the couch.

Except this time I would be the one in control, and this time I would have no reason to prevent our naked bodies from touching, as I carefully moved into a better position.

Her smaller, helpless, naked, wet body is now completely trapped underneath me, and for this reason, she is unable to move.

Before she can catch her breath and say or do anything to stop me, I’m able to quickly rape her.

So over the next three or four hours I have no doubt I could have easily raped her over and over, and over again, if I had wanted, and she would have had no way to stop it from happening.

Because of all of the adrenalin, it would probably be over really quick the first time. But after a short break, when it starts again, the verbal coercion part of the rape would also begin.

So let’s say, while I’m slowly forcing myself on her, I begin blaming her mother for what was happening, reminding her of all the other times her mother tried to get me to “do it” with her.

But this time it’s slower and more gentle. And while I’m doing it, sounding sincere, I begin the coercion by asking, “Isn’t this what you and your mom wanted me to do with you when I was sitting on the couch, trying to ignore your beautiful little naked body?”

Maybe I tell her, as sweetly as possible, “You know, I’m not ignoring you now. Isn’t this what you really wanted?”

She makes a small whimpering sound, and I feel her shake her head. Maybe it’s out of fear, but I think to myself, it doesn’t really matter, The coercion process has begun.

Then maybe I say something sick, like, “You know this isn’t really your fault, and it’s not my fault. Think about it. It’s really your mother’s fault.”

I continue, “You can’t blame me for being a man? You can’t blame me for wanting to see every bit of you, can you?”

“You know I haven’t stop thinking about doing this with you ever since I felt you rubbing your sweet little beaver against me.” She makes a sound that sounds like it could have been a giggle, but I’m not sure. So I kiss the side of her head, and continue.

After a few moments of silence, I pause from what I’m doing, and ask her in an even more softer voice, “Tell me, why did you really call me in to the bathroom? And why are you laying here with me now without a stitch of clothes, making love?” I pause for a moment.
“Do you think this is just an accident? Or do you think maybe it’s fate that we’re finally together?”

She answers in a quiet, slow voice, “I don’t know.” But she knows exactly why she’s here in bed with me, naked, and this time, alone with me.

“Tell me the truth, you did think about me doing it with you, didn’t you?” I ask in the softest, most sincere voice I can manage.

“I know you were secretly watching me make love to your mom when we were in Springfield. Did you see how happy I made her feel? Is that why you wanted me to do this with you?”

As she lays there in my bed underneath me, it reminds her of the night her mother and her got tipsy and she came to bed with us, and the arrangement they made. She wonders if I know, and suddenly feels this strong urge that maybe she should tell me everything.

And she thinks what I’m saying may be true and that if she tells the police what happened, they might arrest her mother, instead of me. But she already knows down inside she can’t ever tell any one.

She decides to not think about her mother any more, and concentrates on the moment, and when she feels some of the weight lift off of her, she feels my body move and instinctively responds.

She thinks, maybe she’ll even tell her mom. And if her mom tries to give her even a little shit about it, she’ll remind her about the time she came to bed with us, and then her mom fell asleep, and…

She knows now, until she decides otherwise, her mother can’t say a damn thing about any of it! Just thinking about it, makes her smile.

None of this really ever happened, but maybe under this fictional version she tells herself something really crazy like:

“I’ll bet it’s going to be even better…now that me and my mom will both be fucking her boyfriend!” and she lets out a small laugh, and thinks to herself, “and now she’ll have to stop beating me with those fucking wooden spoons, or I will fucking send her to fucking prison! And me and Don can raise the babies, without her!” And she laughs again.

Hearing her make a sound that strangely almost sounded like a laugh, I ask, “Are you okay?” She nods her head and now sounding more confident, answers in a clear voice, “Yes”.

Her mind quickly flashes back to the moment when she first called out for me- She remembers sitting there for at least a few minutes in the tub, gently touching herself, waiting to get up the nerve.

As she begins to feel more comfortable with the weight on top of her, she asks herself “Isn’t this why you decided to take a bath and leave the bathroom door open, silly? What’s the difference whether we did it in the tub or the bed? Or who gets to be on top?” She laughs again, to herself.

After a short time, she completely forgets about the knife (which has conveniently disappeared), and she closes her eyes and relaxes.

A little while later, she feels her mom’s boyfriend sliding down off of her. And then begins to feel herself being kissed, everywhere…just as she imagined, when she first filled the tub with really hot water. And then very, very slowly, took off all of her clothes.

Despite this “perfect opportunity”, this isn’t what I did, or ever thought about doing until long after I was accused of doing something like this, and began to write about it. And explain how damn easy it would have been for me to do something just like this to her that day, while her mom was away. And maybe get away with it.

Every sexually maturing young girl should know this- The male brain is designed by nature to send a message to his organ that any time a naked woman, and her exposed vagina, is in their presence, she is likely telling them that she is ready to copulate (if the male and his organ are interested). Even Krog knew subconsciously a long, long time ago what a naked female with even a small amount of fur down there meant (for both him and the tribe).

I naturally began to visualize her standing there in front of me, with no clothes. In all honesty, it was kind of cute. That is, the way she casually was leaning her naked chest against me while she was handing me back the glass, as though she were feeling a little tipsy and had started to lose her balance.

I remember, the whole time she used both of her hands to hold the glass, and then when she was done drinking, she carefully put the half empty glass back into my hand, as though it were something precious and delicate she were giving me.

It was almost comical, like it were a scene in a late night drive-in movie.

Consider the scene, and imagine there’s a camera somewhere rolling. She’s standing there in front of me, completely naked (with her fuzzy, pre-teenage pubic hairs showing), and she’s dripping wet.

The viewer can see, she’s standing in a half filled tub, overflowing with bubbles.

It almost seemed like it were a pre-arranged romance scene taken from the Nicole Kidman movie, “Birth” (which ironically was in pre-production around this same time, and which the girls and their mother later watched on cable in the summer of 2004 at their grandmother’s home in Roseburg).

So to the viewer, it looks like the young undressed actress is handing a half filled glass of expensive champagne or vodka to a man who appears to be her older lover, since the viewer can see no biological similarities between the two.

Obviously, they seem very comfortable together, since after all, she is completely naked, standing in a bubble bath and leaning against him.

She doesn’t want him to spill a drop of the precious liquid. As perhaps the producer planned it, by telling his young actress to use both hands to very carefully exchange the precious fluids with the barefoot man standing before her. He is only wearing a pair of nylon running shorts, which the eager viewer knows can be easily removed.

The inference in what the overly-friendly naked girl’s doing and what the liquid represents is perfectly clear to the voyeur , who also doesn’t want either of them to waste a single drop.

When it happened, instead of sitting back down right away or moving away when she handed me back the glass, she just kept leaning into me, dripping wet, waiting.

Honestly, at that moment it would have been so easy for me to have taken advantage of this situation, as she seemed to want me to do. I could have dropped to my knees and carefully began to explore her naked legs, starting with her toes. And to keep her from getting nervous, maybe I tickle her toes a little causing her to giggle, while I’m seductively telling her what beautiful toes she has.

As I use my hands to quickly worked my way up her legs, I would bet she wouldn’t have stopped me.

And because of the shock, she would have probably only laughed, if I had suddenly, gently cupped her bottom with my hands and quickly began softly kissing her fresh pubic hairs.

So it’s clear, that’s not what I did! Although, it sure seemed like that’s exactly what she wanted me to do, as I felt her pushing her entire body into me.

Why would she deliberately leave the door open and unlocked while she was taking a bath and everyone else was gone…and she was home alone with her mom’s boyfriend? What did she really want from me? Just ice water?

Or, in her confused mind, was she testing me to see just how far I would go? She didn’t seem to have a real good plan about what to do if I failed her test and accepted the generous offer, and then turned off the light, turned on the fan, and quietly locked the bathroom door. And then, quickly pulled off my shorts?

But maybe before doing any of this, I first tell her I have to pee, and tell her not to peek, as I turn off the light and lock the door, and turn on the noisy fan (so she won’t hear me), or so she thinks.

Given all of this, do you think she would have minded if a few moments later I had quietly stepped into the tub, without first turning on the light and opening the door?

I’ll bet, she probably wouldn’t mind, and may even be a little excited by the sudden surprise, finding me standing next to her in the dark. in the tub?

As you read this fictional tale, and knowing this fictional character’s true intentions (his intentions to find some way to rape her and then get away with it), at what point do you suppose she would begin to resist any sort of advances?

Obviously, she doesn’t feel odd about being in the tub or bed with me and her mother, despite that at least one of us was naked every time.

And apparently didn’t feel the least bit shy about taking off all of her clothes and sitting on my lap with her legs wrapped around me, and letting our private parts touch.

And she didn’t seem to feel funny in any way that morning about inviting me in to the bathroom while she was naked and taking a bath.

So imagine we’re both standing in the tub together, in the dark. Do you suppose she would do anything if I put my hands on her shoulders and slowly turned her around,facing the other way? Probably not. As long as I were careful and didn’t startle her, and she still didn’t know I was naked.

I’m pretty sure because of how it usually was around there she wouldn’t have objected or been frightened by any of this “silliness, until it was too late!

So given the risk she took by setting up this scenario, do you suppose she would have done anything to stop me if I had gently pulled her down with me into the soapy water? So imagine, now she’s presumably sitting in a tub filled with bubbles — sitting between my legs, in front of me, facing the other way.

When I’m ready, I’m able to easily pull her on to my lap.

Then as she’s losing her balance and falling backward, her legs naturally fall apart, completely exposing her naked vagina.

At this point, she probably still isn’t scared by what just happened, but is probably wondering what I’m going to do next.

But then all the sudden she realizes I’m completely naked! But still hasn’t decided if she minds (since she’s also naked). and the truth is, she hasn’t completely decided what she wants to do or not do with me. But maybe I can tell by the way she hasn’t struggled with me she either doesn’t mind, or hasn’t quite figured out what’s going to happen next.

As every couple knows, before beginning to copulate, the easiest and quickest way to penetrate the woman’s vagina is making sure they have a very stiff penis and a really moist vaginal canal (one which has been either stimulated for a while by their lover’s fingers or mouth, or in the case of most women, a vagina that has been soaking for ten or fifteen minutes in some really soapy, hot bath water).

Even if she had been thinking all morning about me touching and kissing her there, maybe she hadn’t actually decided whether or not she would let her mom’s boyfriend go all the way. So the sudden shock, even if she was already sexually active, causes her to lose her voice until long after it’s over, and it’s too late.

After it’s done, this other alternative boyfriend tells her over and over how truly sorry he is. He begs her for her forgiveness, and that he couldn’t help himself because she’s so “Damn beautiful!”

As she feels herself being gently touched, he keeps telling her over and over how sweet she is. He tells her again and again, he’s so sorry, but he couldn’t resist her, and in a very small voice, from far away, she says she “understands”.

After a while, she starts to believe that maybe it was her fault for teasing him like this, and for inviting him in to the bathroom. Why didn’t she lock the door, she knows they’ll ask. And what did she expect would eventually happen, she thinks to herself.

She’s still sitting on his lap, and can’t help but think about how it feels, which makes her think about her mom’s chalk drawing, even though they’re sitting perfectly still.

When he very carefully touches her in this one particular place, it causes her to shake all over.

While he’s touching her, he’s continuing to kiss her ear and whisper “sweet nothings.” So she closes her eyes and begins to drift away.

Despite the noisy fan, she can hear herself breathing deeply, and feels her body begin to relax. She feels like she is falling in to some kind of tranquil trance.

Then with the other hand he leans forward and adds a little more hot water, as she opens and closes her eyes a few times, but still can’t see anything. She tries to imagine what it would be like to be completely blind.

A couple minutes later, the boyfriend leans forward again and shuts off the water. Then Everything becomes perfectly still.

“This is so relaxing,” she thinks to herself, sitting in complete darkness, with nothing to think about except the gentle hum of the noisy ceiling fan.

Then, from far away, she feels something, and once again nature begins to take over. With no effort, she feels her body begin to sway in the water, and begins to respond.

Ten or fifteen minutes later, after she catches her breath, she thinks about the glass of ice water, and wonders if she can reach it, without getting up.

But back here in reality, none of this happened! But if I were the creep they claimed, it could have happened exactly this way. I had the perfect opportunity, and apparently, a willing partner, but obviously, I didn’t have the motivation required to commit the act, ever. Yet three years later, this is exactly how they treated me, charging me with a Measure 11 crime.

So, every day I ask myself, why did her mom, and the State, accuse me three years later of having committed a serious sex crime against my girlfriend’s daughter (by allegedly trying to touch her breast in a sexual manner sometime in 2001 or 2002) way back when all this other crazy stuff was happening. When nothing I did, or intended to do, was ever sexual, or sexually motivated.

It sure seems mighty coincidental that the State didn’t come after me until after I had threatened to expose Christel for providing sexually graphic material to the kids, and her own inappropriate sexual behavior around the girls during our relationship, and what she may have encouraged the girls to do.

It happened while we sat outside my apartment in Lake Oswego in the spring of 2004, just after we returned from her Ford Foundation Graduation Dinner. I angrily told her (and her youngest daughter who was listening from the back seat) I was planning to take our son to live in Florida, where my parents live. And that may have been all the motivation all three of them needed to “do it!”

So I have to ask the question. Did her mom (or maybe someone else) give the oldest daughter the dumb idea of getting naked, getting into the tub, and filling it with bubbles? And then give her the really dumb idea of calling me in there to join her?

Was it only to test my character, or perhaps, was it someone who wanted (or needed) to get some dirt on me that could be used later, if needed?

And so who was it who had the really stupid idea of trying to get me to touch her young developing didi that morning, since I’m pretty sure that’s what the plan seem to be, since no one would be watching (except maybe a hidden camera)?

On the other hand, there may have been no camera any where. And it may have entirely been the older daughter’s idea. I don’t know, except why would her mother give her amorous daughter, who may have already begun ovulating, this perfect opportunity to fool around with her mother’s boyfriend, if she wanted to, especially after what Christel had seen that afternoon on the couch, when her naked daughter was playfully simulating having sex with me in front of her mom and little sister?

I can’t help but also suspect that the older daughter’s closest friend, who testified against me at the grand jury, was also involved in trying to set me up.

When we lived in Beaverton, I once told Christel that I had overheard a conversation between the three girls that suggested that the friend, who may have been gay, was experimenting sexually with both of the girls. For the record, the younger daughter was almost five years younger than the friend who testified against me.

What ever the two older girls wanted to do with each other was nobody’s business. I knew that. But if the other girl was sexually experimenting with the younger daughter, then she had committed a felony, and probably had testified against me in order to hide her own bad behavior.

Christel blew it off, and we never spoke about it again, saying that this was perfectly normal for kids to do. But she may have also told her older daughter about our conversation, who told her friend and her little sister. They probably understood that her friend had committed a serious crime against the younger sister. And the older daughter had witnessed it. So they figured they had no choice, other than to try and get me to do something. And when that didn’t work, maybe one or more of them lied to the grand jury?

And maybe Detective Marley and the Deputy District Attorney, Gregory Olson, were in on it. It wouldn’t be the first time Olson had compromised his position with the Washington County District Attorneys Office, and according to the Oregon BAR encouraged a witness to lie under oath.

So it’s very possible, everything that happened that day was an idea that came from the girls’ “family friend”, who talked the older daughter into staying home from school with me. And she may have been the one who convinced her to get naked, get in the tub, and see how far it would go. Did either of them think about how far would be too far, before it was too late?

This is what I overheard, and may have been the reason they all needed to lie.

I was in the kitchen and the three of them were in the living-room, which is attached to the kitchen and the dining room. The apartment is very small. And I heard the younger daughter say something like, “But it tasted funny.”

The older girls quickly told her to shut up, and tried to hush her.

Not understanding, she began to panic, and hurriedly said, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry Linzy! Can I try again, please, please!”

So I wondered, what tasted funny? Why did she want to do it again? What was she talking about? And why were the older girls so worried about me hearing what she was saying?

I told Christel, I think I know what they were talking about. I know it’s an acquired taste, that wouldn’t likely appeal to a six-year-old.

So, it’s very likely that the friend had, or let, the younger girl perform oral sex on her. And since she was only six-years-old when this happened. Because of the age difference, the older girls probably figured out it was a serious crime.

And maybe the older girls figured they had to get me in some kind of trouble, so they tried to get me to do something to the older daughter. And when they testified, they probably told the younger girl that she would also be in trouble if the truth ever came out.

No matter what, no one can argue that Christel was the one who ultimately decided to set up this convenient arrangement. And had also ignored the sexual abuse that had been committed against her younger daughter.

Think about it, the sexually-curious older daughter and me were left completely alone by her mother for more than five hours that day. And the very first thing the older daughter decided to do was to take a bath, and then invited me in.

If I had wanted to seduce or rape her, there was plenty of time and opportunity to do almost anything that I wanted to do. But, as I have said repeatedly, nothing sexual ever happened that day between us.

They have taken away my son and completely destroyed my life, and any hope I ever had to be successful by placing this label on me.

Despite this, I am truly concerned about what became of her (and her little brother and sister). And the other sad part of this story, as a lot of poor fathers know, is that I was told any attempt to contact any of them, without a lawyer, could also be considered a crime. It would be up to the discretion of the same persecutors who destroyed my life and help steal my kid.

As I said at the beginning of this chapter, it’s always easier to convince someone of a lie, then it is to convince them that they’ve been lied to.

This is why I suspect that her oldest daughter knows something more about why her mother suddenly left her home with me (and why she decided to take a bath, and invite me in.

While attending Umpqua Community College, Christel had a brief affair with her math instructor. She told me that he had once called her a “sadistic manipulator”, which made her really, really angry (probably because it was true).

Apparently, she forgot that she had told me this story, because in one of her letters she had written to Marley, or someone else, she called me this name. Which was kind of amusing, considering everything she did.

I suspect the older daughter also knows something more about why her mother brought her into our bed that night, knowing I was naked and already aroused.

If I could afford a real lawyer, and if they had ever asked me these questions in front of a jury about what I knew or suspected about the oldest daughter’s sexual experience, or possible sexual abuse, this is what I would say:
Q: Do you think there was anything sexual going on between her and Rick or his boys?

A: It’s very possible something had been going on around or before that time, when Christel and I first moved in together, in the fall of 2001. I noticed right away it was a very sexually-charged environment, and Christel told me they were regularly dosing the younger girl with Benadryl in the evenings to give Rick and her some sexual privacy. So there were lots of opportunities for “any of them” to “fool around”, sexually.

Q: Do you think she was having intercourse with either of the teenage boys any time during 2001 or before that?

A: It’s possible she was having, or had already had, intercourse with one of Rick’s boys. But that’s just a guess, based on the environment and opportunity.

Christel said Rick’s teenage boys had been exposed to a lot of explicit sexual material. And I understand the boys would often sleep over night in the living room with both of the girls, watching movies, while the adults were upstairs.

Q: Do you think she had done anything sexual with her father?

A: Yes, very possible. For a lot of reasons.

Often, while sitting in his rocking chair he would tickle her and bounce her on his lap next to me. And there was something about her giggle and the way I could tell she kept looking over at me, which made me think she was feeling uncomfortable about what he was doing to her in front of me. How far was he willing to go in private, I did wonder a little.

Besides, since she was a developing nine or ten-year-old girl, and definitely not a small toddler, the behavior I “witnessed” I suppose could be considered a form of sexual harassment, or maybe even sexual abuse.

I remember. he would stop for a minute or two, and then tickle her again, while we were all pretending to “watch” TV. Except this would always get her jumping around on his lap again, and forcing a giggle, which made me a little uncomfortable. And like I said, I got this strong feeling that she didn’t want him doing it, for some reason, but couldn’t tell him to stop.

Q: Do you think they had ever had intercourse?

A: It’s possible, but truthfully, I don’t know if anything like that ever happened. She often stayed over night in this rooming house on 8th Street. They slept on the floor, and there was definitely lots of opportunities I suppose if he got the urge and made it into some kind of “game” under the covers, after a few beers.

I noticed, sometimes the older daughter was very shy, but then, other times she seemed very mature, sexually. On these occasions, she didn’t seem in the least bit shy about her own sexuality, when I was around.